Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. The ever greater and thinner Big Jay Oakerson. Thank you, Manjaro. Shout out, Manjaro. You're looking good, dude. Big ups, Manjaro. It's nice to see. Thank you. I am exercising, too.
Beautiful you have to or it will just be floppy and weird and gross or it'll eat your bones I guess also. Yes. It'll eat your bones. They say I'm real big on taking this stuff and then not really following up with like
You know, I mean, I just started doing testosterone from a company. That's like, you know, it's above board taking it, but like, they're like, you should make sure you monitor your blood all the time. And I'm like, yeah, we'll get to that at some point. I'm gonna keep taking it though. You don't monitor your blood at all? No, not me with any regularity, I think. You should probably do that. Yeah, they did it there. I know, someone I know says they take testosterone and they have to...
like donate blood every month to get blood. I've heard that before. I've heard that before. Because their blood's so thick. I talked to my doctor about it. He goes, that really doesn't make sense. but he has heard of occasions where people had to do that to un-thicken their blood too much blood or something like how much are you taking like what do you do are you going ham bro this man's health company saw me coming down the road a mile away they offer me i'm taking
Two peptides, and I don't even know. We started. Sorry, we couldn't wait. Why even ask me? I don't know. While you were on the door, I was like, this doesn't make sense. Let's just start. I'm taking two peptides that feel like fire. It feels like fire when I inject them. Really? What are they?
I don't know. Well, the BPC-157. That's the one everyone's doing. Right. That's a good one. And then something that's blue. It's blue. Oh, methylene blue? I don't know. It burns. Wait a minute. Methylene, hold up. Methylene blue, you're not supposed to inject. It's not that then. It's G. It starts with a G. It's not one of the letters. G-H. Methylene blue is weird stuff. It's a dye for fabrics that people take for its health benefits. What the fuck? Boosts mitochondria.
Yeah, it's really weird like what exactly does it do I should ask even though I take it I Don't take it all the time, but I have taken it And I don't know. I couldn't describe. I couldn't explain. Exactly. Here it is. A medication used in the management and treatment of, what's that word? Meth... Oh, methamoglobin. Methemoglobinemia. Methemoglobinemia. A condition where hemoglobin decreases its ability to carry oxygen. Huh.
Straight up, but it started out as a fabric dye. I'm pretty sure Right doesn't it say that? What is it two for humans? I think it was a dye Yeah Which is so weird that a dye would have health benefits. I grew up in a house of supplements. My stepfather was a power lifter. So I only know about creatine. Sick.
That's it. Creatine was another one that would show up in the house sometimes creatine. Yeah, what's that? I don't know twice and he's just remembering it was another was another word super creatine creatine's legit that stuff's super good for you i just started taking tongat ali for my uh testosterone Creatinine is a waste product that forms from the breakdown of creatine in muscles. Why would I take it? There's another natural one. I think it's called terkesterone.
I have my doctor. I asked my doctor to put me on testosterone I think we talked about it because you're like dude I got don't worry fuck your doctor I got a doctor for you and I was just like yeah maybe I'll just stop smoking weed you think that was killing your testosterone I think so it was like lower than it should have been it was like in the high 30s
And now it's like mid fives well like a good doctor what they'll do first is ask you like what do you do for exercise? What are you eating? How much do you sleep like those things are all? the first thing the doctor will ask you. And if all that stuff's fucked up, they shouldn't just give you testosterone. They should be like, let's fix it. My place did. Shout out Game Day Men's Health. 15 minutes, they'll give me anything I want in a needle. There's a few doctors out there.
They like to go buck wild. Of course. I think they get incentivized. I got PRP treatment in my hair. I'm not losing my hair. They just talked me into it. Now it's never going away. PRP worked? I don't know. We're going to find out. I just got it like two weeks ago. Jay is a mark. His hair's thinning. It's definitely going.
There's a bunch of topical stuff that you could use these days. Sure. There's like a finasteride topical. But I would worry that that would get into your skin and into your bloodstream. That finasteride stuff is crazy. That makes some people very depressed. It kills your DHT, which is what keeps your hair from falling out.
And for some people, it kills their testosterone. They get super depressed. I started losing my hair when I was 18. I just said, fuck it. I was bald. I love not having to talk to a barber. That's the best you shave it which is a big razor How do you find out how much that your barber doesn't know you but is a big fan of Ralph Barbosa You guys aren't going to find that out. Is that what you get from your barber? I don't know you, but Ralph Barbosa is the fucking man, dog.
Oh, Kenny. His name's Kenny. He's a nice enough guy. Ralph Barboza's slick. He's like a slick comedian. Like his punchlines are like smooth. Very funny. Yeah, he's got a great fully loaded with him He's like he makes he's got a fun like just his approach I like it. It's very slick. Yeah, you know, and he's sending the elevator down I mean he's to go and taking guys on tour that
I've never heard of, but I think been around for a long time. That's great move. That's great. Yeah. Very good dude. He hung out with us at the mothership one night. Fun guy. Yeah. He got popular for, uh, he liked. Someone said on like George Lopez a show or something. They were like this guy sucks Well, no George Lopez was like I don't get it. He's just whatever and then well someone was I think someone was talking well about him and then George Lopez was very dismissive of him
And I think that's what happened. And someone asked Ralph about it on something, and his response, I think, is what made it very popular. I think he was just saying, because he doesn't like me, because one of his comments goes like, oh, the lady. And I think that just, you know, you show any. picture of George Lopez bugging his eyes out and make that hilarious. That's hilarious. It's good fucking good fire back. This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter.
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Yeah. Are you good at living in comedy beefs? I'm so terrible at it. No, I don't like comedy beefs. I fucking hate it. I don't like any beefs. Lewis, you've been in a few where you've gone to bed on...
I mean, I guess I have those same beefs too, but I don't engage as much. No, I'm the loser I just I get on a flight and I'll be on Twitter for fucking hours just tweeting at people for no reason No, but I mean like particular like a person you put a face to like a comic like that I haven't had problem with somebody before
But I mean like I don't know it's I have a hard time sleeping on like I'm gonna run this person every night and we hate each other It's been a while. I mean I I'm not it's just not that serious There's nobody in the world that I hate like there's literally no even people that hate me. I'm like yeah, dude We're cool. I murdered your father
Dude, I try to get him on my podcast. Oh my god So the guy my father was stabbed to death when I was four years old and then years later I got out of prison I was like let me try to get this guy on my podcast and interview him. How interesting would that be? But he was already dead Yeah, dude, that would have been insane. Yeah, cuz I didn't I wasn't like like showing up at this young guys house
You stabbed his dad. You're gonna be alone together. That guy's gonna kill you That's what I would think I was an old man. I couldn't defend myself. I don't think it was that old He was 17 when he killed my father So he was only 13 years older than me. So he'd be like 60 now I guess
Yeah, but this is like a decade ago that I was gonna do it. That guy's a convicted murderer, dude. He could fuck your shit up. Yeah, but he was a kid and my father beat him up. My father was a bully. What if Conor McGregor goes, he goes, well, Lewis, I'd like to say I apologize to absolutely fucking nobody at all. Yeah.
But I thought that would have been an interesting conversation. I wasn't like going into it being like, oh, you've killed my father. I'm angry. I got a great life. My father lived. I would be fucking probably living in Patterson, New Jersey. So I have a shit life.
That's what we always tell ourselves. A drug dealer and a pimp, if he was alive. Yeah, it worked out well. Yeah, but that's always it. If my dad stuck around, maybe I wouldn't have the personality I have and I wouldn't be where I'm at. So? Maybe it'll be way better. No. Well, I wouldn't have my kid. Maybe I'd be a head of state or something. If that one sperm had to hit that one egg, I wouldn't have my son right now if my father was alive. If anything happened differently. Yeah.
All right, Ashton Kutcher. That's a butterfly effect over here. Guy watches one movie, all of a sudden he's got to figure it out. Hey, you guys ever think maybe we're just plugged into a pod somewhere, and this is all nothing? I'm going to see if I can fly real quick.
I think there's something to that we're plugged into something. It seems more like it every day. It seems like this is like an advanced stage of the video game right now, where they're lighting cop cars on fire in L.A. and throwing bricks off of... Overpasses. Dude it does seem fun to order a Waymo and light it on fire. Nobody gets hurt. It's just hilarious. And I think it's directionally correct.
You should probably start killing robots. You guys are on the right course. They're early on the war of the machines. They're just trying to stop the Terminator. Bro, these are all going to be owned by corporations, and that's going to be the only way you're allowed to get them.
around because they're the safest. They're going to take away everybody's driver's license. It's going to get weird as fuck. Oh, yeah. But it's going to probably be better. The car's going to go 200 miles an hour probably. Traffic will be eliminated. Dude, I think there are going to be more of these fucking things that we just saw. in LA. That's what I think. I've heard that teenagers are going back to smoking regular cigarettes now and getting away from vapes.
We might move back analog a little bit. You know what I mean? Bring back manual cars. I wonder if analog makes some sort of, where it slows down because people want it to slow down a little bit. Yeah, but it's too late. They do want to slow it down. I mean, the electric car didn't really take off the way they'd hoped. Yeah, the problem with electric cars is the charging time is too much.
It's too much. If you're a young single woman and you have to charge a car and you have to just sit there for a fucking hour. I also feel that way. So I feel like you just call me a young single woman. Well, you're a man. Any human is vulnerable. But like a woman by herself. is particularly vulnerable, right? Like if you're a hot girl and you're sitting in your car, how many fucking creeps that know that you have to be there for an hour, how many creeps can bother you? That's a great idea, Joe.
There you go. I'm gonna start getting girls at the fucking charging stations. I almost rented a Tesla once. Just go to Starbucks, get a large order, and just walk down the aisle of Teslas waiting to find a hot one. Yeah, dude. Have you ever driven one? Nah, dude. From the 70s.
Don't trust that electric shit. I tried it. I was going to rent one once. And I gave you the keys. And I was like, this is going to be fun. And then I remembered you have to charge it. I was like, I've got to drive to fucking Rhode Island right now. I was like, I'm going to have to stop halfway there and charge the car for a while. I think you can get there. It's just then you have to charge. No, it's like the real mileage is different than the mileage it says
So it really should say, like, percentage of battery. But they want you to, like, estimate the mileage. But it's all dependent upon how fast you're going. Like, if you're accelerating a lot, if you're moving around, if you stop and go traffic, like... Who knows what the real mileage is? If you're on, like, say if you get stuck in a crazy traffic jam for like four hours, like some explosion somewhere, like, and you supposedly have 200 miles on your car. Is that?
good for four hours of you sitting there, too, with the radio on, with the air conditioning on? So are we team Trump then, not Elon? Fuck Elon Musk. Fuck your stupid car. If it's cold, they die quick. Yeah, that happened in Chicago remember when they had that fucking big thing where the highway got closed down and people in Tesla's were fucked man Because they just stopped working. Yeah, also if you blow a tire like Tesla has to come fix that really yeah
Why's that? I don't know. But they have to come handle it. The function of Teslas, though, is amazing. Dude, they're amazing. They fucking drive themselves. You press the... You trust that? 100% and I go and it just takes you wherever you want it changes lanes, but it's nuts you could you could put on like
Dark sunglasses at night and just like have your hands on the wheel. It's that good. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't do it. I don't do it, but I have done it. But I keep my hand near the wheel just to see what it can do. It does everything. Yeah, no, that's much better. Dude, I get like road...
Paralysis where like if I'm like driving for more than an hour and I'm looking at the lines not paralysis I'm hidden what they call it like road hypnosis So I'll get hypnotized by the lines and I start falling asleep I start falling asleep if I have to drive for more than an hour to at night
You know how to fix that? Do you know how to fix that? It's real easy. Cocaine. No, no, no. No, that's not cocaine. That'll work too. You're right. But you have to keep doing it over and over again. Get some ice and just a washcloth.
with wet washcloth with ice in it and just rub your face. You wake right up. You wake right up. And it lasts for like five minutes. Wash rug you keep in your car. That'd be great. Chicks are going to love that. The smelling salts you have in the club. Oh, those will do it. Those will do it.
I did a terrible fuck you up like you might change lanes. You maybe shouldn't tell this it might be illegal what you've done. No, it's not illegal It's definitely this is a I will say it's a bad prank to do on a girl if this was a dude to do this crazy This was a dude everyone would have been like dude great prank but because I did it to a girl it was a little bit fucked up so we were at the mothership last time we were doing our podcast and our producer Alex is a girl
And she's a big pothead. Huge pothead. Like, real deal. So, as podcast producers are. Also a mother and a wonderful producer. And a mother, yes. Better producer than mother. No, she's great. So... I had the smelling salts and I was like, oh, these are fucking strong. They're really particularly strong smelling salts. So then I go, Alex, I was like, this weed is fucking great. Give it a whiff. Then I gave her the smelling salt container. She put her nose in it. Dude, she sniffed so hard.
You know how potheads want to smell weed. She cried. There's a 30-minute problem. She said the word why a lot. It was like when Nancy, remember Nancy Kerrigan got slugged out by the fucking... She's like, why? I sweat blood for you. I flew here to help you produce the show. I felt so bad. You should not do that. Now, it was a bad prank. But if it was a dude? That's big of you.
If that was a dude, is it not just undeniably hilarious? Still pretty brutal. Yeah. If it's a guy, it's funny. Yeah. Funny-er. Yeah. It's funny. It's weird. It wasn't funny. If you do it to a guy, it's funny. Depend on the guy. You know?
Like if you, you know, if you did it to David Tell, it would be mean. That'd be funny. You do it to Kurt Metzger, he just starts punching walls. He's just rattled off conspiracy theories. Pretty girls being embarrassed, though, is funny as shit. Oh, it's hilarious. It is the most evening factor ever. I did a...
When I was on tour with the bands years ago, Korn did a Jägermeister music tour. They always had the Jäger girls would hang out. And I was on the Jägermeister production bus on this tour. So the girls would all come on there. They would come and hang out and drink for free on the bus.
And, you know, tour buses, you're not allowed to shit on a tour bus. And only one of the Yeager girls asked if she could use the bathroom. It was just in the time we were there. And she went, gorgeous girl. And she came back out and she was sitting down. And then the... The driver comes to start getting the bus ready to leave. And just, you know, a toothless fucking road dog just comes in the bus. And you go, somebody took a shit. And everybody knew it was this hot chicken fishnets.
And I mean just the thing she was so beautiful that me probably my heaviest in my life. I was like I probably could get her now She's the shit girl. No one's seeking her out and I'll still do it. You can't clean up that good in a fucking So it's such a function that everybody has but for some reason I never want to hear about a woman shooting ever Now what about the the why don't they develop a toilet that you can shit on on a bus is that a beyond our science I don't
know why it can't be done. I'm sure there's something that can be done. It seems like it should be done. I think they're just being lazy. No shitting on the tour bus. Wait, what if you have to take a shit? That's crazy. But if you have to empty it out, that's the problem. So I think you can. You can shit on the tour bus.
The person that has to clean the toilet has to now empty out your shit amongst the piss. Like manually with like a hose and shit. That's what's crazy. It's some dude's job that he has to like deal with. There should be something where you could pull over and those rest stops have like a thing that sucks your shit out. Yeah. Like out of the tank. Yeah, that'd be very...
profitable for them. What are they going to do? They'd have to store you. No, you figure it out. That's the last thing you want to do is be in shit storage. Truck stop, yeah. Truck stop shit storage. They're sucking my shit out outside. I'm in here buying jerky. No. Dave Matthews band for a bus incident in Chicago. That's right. The bus driver let that stuff out over the water and a boat went underneath it.
Splattered the boat would do Dave Matthews band then you see a thing recently where they got they show like a cruise ship or something just letting shit out of the front I Don't think that's real. I thought that was real too. I think that's like Dredging I'll be suckered in a heartbeat by an AI thing. Oh, yeah, do you know that super hot down since your girl is it?
Isn't real damn AI down syndrome girl. Oh God, nothing's real anymore. How many videos have you seen? Like I saw a thing about Trump saying that they were gonna genetically engineer Raptors and have the fucking troops ride them protect the border. That's not real. But it's like you see them. They brought back the dire wolf. Could it be done? It's so hard to tell now. Weaponizing dinosaurs would be the funniest thing in the world.
Oh, is that fake? It's like a quick series of four or five little fake ones, but they look real, and then they just go like, this isn't real, by the way. I, from the Cedar Grove flood disaster, just kidding. I'm not real. This is Dana Brooks reporting live from Ocean View Beach. Just kidding. I'm not real. This is Charlotte Reed reporting live from Clearwater Beach, where an unidentified... Just kidding. I'm not real. Is she implying the Kraken is real? The Kraken's real. I'm fake. How weird.
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It is crazy. I'm starting to think you and Theo Vaughn aren't two babies talking to each other. I watch ads with you all the time. Companies just use your voice in AI. I sent you one at one point where it's just like, I was like, I know this is not Joe glazing this fuck.
Weird company for you know a 10-minute read it was like they really got him to do this, huh? So strange. Yeah, do you try to put a stop to that or you try? But the guy who made that said it took 25 minutes I told a racist street joke on Legion of Skinks 10 years ago. Me saying the n-word has been used in so many memes and little black people react to it And they it's such a funny street joke that they can't deny it funny thing So it's always black people trying to not laugh and they say it
All right, that's pretty good. That's pretty funny. That's a pretty great street show. Some words are coming back. That one's not one of them. No. Bro, these ice raids are fucking nuts, man. Watching this protest on television, it's like... Do you think the raids are nuts? All of it. I think both sides are taking it a little too hard. Well, I don't think if the Trump administration, if they're running and they said, we're going to go to Home Depot.
And we're going to arrest all the people at Home Depot. We're going to go to construction sites. And we're going to just, like, tackle people at construction sites. I don't think anybody would have signed up for that. They said we're going to get rid of the criminals and the gang members first. Right? And now we're seeing like Home Depots get raided. That's crazy. Yeah. And then you've got this big protest that's scheduled for the 14th that's literally funded by the lady who owns Walmart.
to protest protest it's like no kings it's like a no kings protest it's happening all across the country yeah like criminals and rapists and you know obviously but they go to like a college campus and there's some kid about to graduate they're like no you're out It's fucked up rapists criminals slow delivery people Ones that can't dance or play the flamenco guitar. I've got a list I think it's fucking crazy how violent it's gotten. I don't
They're throwing bricks over overpasses. That's what I mean. But again, I think all these things, 90% of the people that are there are just like, let's rage, motherfucker. 100%.
Also, there's people that are saying they're being paid to protest. Yeah, they're saying they're... That's always the bricks. Piles of bricks are showing up. Like, you know, there's construction sites around the city. No, no, no, no. That was weird, dude. I was in the city during that time. You were, too, during the pandemic.
No, those bricks were just fucking out there. I lived on a police block. I was barricaded in with them. Yeah. And I felt bad for the black cops. No, one day there was no bricks. The black cops were yelling at the black cops and the black cops were like, sorry, man. I'd have my hand on his shoulder like you're gonna be all right The cops getting the rocks thrown at him from oh, yeah, it's crazy They had to hide under the overpass they're throwing them at the cops. I mean you you you're 100%
Possibly killing someone. Yeah, it's attempted murder you could you had a Fucking cinderblock brick onto someone's head from an overpass. They're probably dead. It's good Good fucking chance, man. I mean, if Lord of the Flies taught us anything, that's how Piggy died. That's who I related to. This kind of shit can escalate. I'm thinking of the Good Son where they pushed the dummy off the overpass. Oh, yeah. Remember? Make them think they killed somebody. It's fucking...
It's pretty wild what's going on but I mean I don't know like I said everybody running out of like Louis Vuitton with a bunch of like Shirts and shit. You seen that? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's happening too? Yeah. Oh, they're looting. Oh, they're looting. I didn't know they were looting too. Hardcore. And I said it's funny. Which if I was a 19-year-old kid, I would be out there looting unquestionably. Well, as soon as lawlessness happens.
People take advantage. That's always going to be the case, right? That's what I think the whole... It is fun. I mean, like, these cops are just standing, though, and, like, under nonstop graffiti. It's like, murder all cops. They're just, like, sitting there. It's like... And the people are...
Try the civilian somebody try to talk reason to them to the cops like why don't you do the right thing and not shoot me with a rubber bullet Well, you know what the problem is the problem is there's cops that just shoot people with rubber bullets for no reason
Did you see that lady, that Australian reporter that got shot? Did you see that video? It's pretty hilarious. It's nuts. Because you see the guy do it. You see the cop. Just look at her while she's talking. She's clearly not a criminal. She's just reporting the news. And he fucking shoots her in the...
with a rubber bullet. The leg's hilarious. It's really good stuff. Let's watch this. That's funnier than making my producer smell smelling salts. Dude, it's a real dance bitch moment. Dance bitch. It's crazy. I mean, I can't believe that he would do this. This is the chick. Go full screen, please. Watch this. This is nuts. She's got the shitty Australian accent, though. Dance, bitch. Bro.
They just shot a reporter like look that guy just points and says fuck this lady It's gonna be good promotional for her 2000 person gang bang. She's doing an OnlyFans. I mean, what is that? Do you want to know why people get angry at cops? It's shit like that. I would say you shoot a white woman every couple minutes and everyone starts going like, oh, they're shooting everybody. Is that a thing where you're kicking everybody out of the street and the press thinks they don't have to listen?
So you don't want to listen you're tired of this shit and you decide to shoot her in the leg which is fucking insane It's so insane. You don't you don't yell lady get out of the fucking street Was there any shooter? This one happened too. After this minute goes down, this guy ends up shooting them at close range. What is this about? 40 millimeter. Hey! Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. What's your badge number? That's okay. I'm going to pull up you right now because you're picking up my phone.
I'm gonna pop you right now because you're taking up my focus look it's not okay It's not okay. But I will say I grew up at a time where if you talk shit to cops, nobody had camera phones, nobody had anything. A cop would just fuck you up. And there's something hilarious about that cop just shooting that guy in the dick. There's a thing about them rubber bullets. Like you're shooting.
somebody, but you're not shooting them. You're kind of half shooting them. But you are like, fuck. What you want to do is shoot them. And you're not allowed to. It's against the law. It's not right.
So you shoot them with a rubber bullet. And it's not right. But you can shoot people when you really shouldn't be shooting them with a rubber bullet. I feel like getting shot in the dick with a rubber bullet could have irreparable damages. 100%. People have lost eyeballs, bro. This guy had to have portions of his...
I do have a hard time feeling. What say what? Say that again? It says there. He later had to have surgery to reattach portions of his genitalia. Portions? What are they serving it? How big is this guy's dick? What kind of a dick does this guy have? I wish my dick-
to be cut up into portions. How weird is that? He just knocked out the middle. Which one are you having for breakfast? Oh, man. If he broke the middle off, I'd be like, can you give me a longer middle? Can you put a longer middle back on? I get extension. I don't care if it's Different color. Just try to match it as best you can. All this gene editing. How far away are we from big dicks?
You think it'd be the first thing? Depends who comes up to the side if the agents come up with the science That's first thing. Well, they have the science with the genetic engineering So you're saying what before your baby's inborn you'd be like hey also I want my son to have a huge fucking day That's a weird conversation to have. I'm thinking monster cock.
If you just let your kid have a regular dick and all his friends have giant dicks, that'd be a real problem. Your kid would be so upset. You mean you could have given me a giant dick as well, Dad? No, I wanted people to like you for you. I needed money for bowling. Oh, great. I'll be upstairs jerking off with three fingers. Anyone needs me alone with no friends. I remember being like 12 being like when is it gonna grow? Like what's it gonna get big and it just never really did
You just kept having that conversation with yourself. Yeah. Up until I was a full-fledged adult. Now's the time. It's a sketch on Segura's new show. That's a funny show. Very funny, yeah.
Funny showman hitman one was hilarious. Yeah, they were I thought the other video game where the the you play with aliens raping humans He said it wasn't it wasn't about the guy and it said parts. It was called Evans Revenge Jamie speaking to UFOs you see Lou Elizondo these photos that are supposedly of a real alien
Oh, here we go. Bro, it's so dumb. The photos look blurry. Of the photos of the dead alien, like you can't even zoom in on that. You can't even fucking focus. Look at these. Yeah, that thing. Look at that. What is that? What's that? What is that? How about better pictures? This is crazy. These are the only pictures. Is this from the 40s? Like what's this picture from? What is this?
Oh, people want to believe. Bro, so bad. Me too. I'm like, maybe, maybe the bottom ones. It was funny. Somebody asked me, you know, Sean Donnelly and Dan St. Germain have a podcast now about.
Alien encounters and all that kind of stuff. And they both really believe it. And they were like, what would it take for you to believe, Jay? I was like, irrefutable evidence? I have to shake hands with an alien. The one thing I've never seen? Irrefutable evidence? There's a lot of shenanigans going on for sure. On the back of one of those photos. Oh, it's 1993. Alien hybrid child born to a 15-year-old girl, subject of ET genetic experiment.
Under chin, neck, and upper torso view. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So that's under chin. And then what's the other photo? It's the same. It's just the same. It's just one photo. Wasn't there another one? It seems like there's two photos. That's just this particular one. But at the top, yeah, the one on the bottom. What's that one on the bottom? That one on the bottom seems a little, like, turned to the side, right? Is that the...
eyeballs, supposedly. What are those babies called that are born like that? Oh, Harlequin babies? Yeah. It could be anything, man. I mean, it might not even be human. Probably not alien. You know who fucking knows do you think I mean like someone like Donald Trump can hold in the information I don't think it's a daily day, you know I don't think it's playing golf, but who can sit on that information if you know that wouldn't be terrifying to
It's almost that, to play someone who knows about aliens existing, you think also breaks off and plays golf and decides what they want to have for dinner tonight. 100%. Really? Yeah.
Yeah, I think... It's like finding out vampires exist. It would change everything. I think it's a fun way to have information that you don't give to the rest of the world. And if you're the head of a giant... defense contracting agency that's been back engineering UFOs for the last 50 years would be probably pretty cool.
to know some shit that other people don't know and not tell anybody and still go to brunch. But how are you not so consumed that you go, hey, you want to start a new Netflix series tonight? Like, it just seems like you'd be... It's the same way I don't believe people have, like... Speaking the dead powers or slightly. I was like you'd be you know me. It's never like Oh, what does that tell your loved one that you miss them terribly? They miss you terribly
I'm actually you guys went to McDonald's. I'll treat myself to something like how does your mind go anywhere else? But like I'd speak to the dead That would be consuming. I would never sleep. It's supernatural all day talking to somebody about the war of 1776. You'd just go nuts. It's just not real. There was a video on. You imagine you just tune in to any time and talk to like some Civil War soldiers. You don't have a fate. You don't go pick at.
a new pair of sneakers while that's going on. I didn't use sneakers, I think. Did you see a video where it was like somebody, it might not even, I don't know if it was real, but she was like a girl who has like paranoid schizophrenia and she created like a video of what it's like to have.
schizophrenia oh my god it's like he's like floating like almost like yeah like monsters sort of yeah but they're like uh translucent and it's like just all these voices whispering it's like if that that's how it really is to have schizophrenia I mean, I couldn't make it a day. Yeah, I think it varies like a lot of different neurological conditions, right? I think, you know, there's extreme versions of it and some people have like mild schizophrenia, which is really weird. Well, I mean, I've...
I have someone close to me in my life that said mania, where they go manic. And I've only seen it twice. It's Hulk Hogan. It's Hulk Hogan. I've only seen it twice, but I mean, I'm blown away by how much your brain can like... Change functionality in a day in a day's difference Being like everything's changed, you know There's saying things that they've never said before and believing it and being like, you know I mean it's very strange Well if you think about your body
Yeah, it is scary. But if you think about your body as a whole, things go wrong in your body. And, well, things go wrong in your brain, too. It's like, you know, you can't blame someone for having liver cancer, right? Sometimes people just get weird diseases, you know? The mental thing is a weird one, man, because there's people that it's just like something isn't clicking. It's just not working right, you know, and they don't know what to do.
And they're out there in the world, and they're trying a bunch of different medications on them, and they don't know what to do. So you can't be mad at Kurt Metzger. It's not his fault. I couldn't imagine. This is what I always try to...
I always try to think about when I'm talking to somebody I can't imagine what it's like to be them. Like what is it like? What's it like to be Metzger? What's it like to be filled with conspiracies? Just over and know so much about like secret societies. And nobody believes you.
And no one believes you. And everyone's kind of like, hey, man, we're just trying to smoke a joint in the green room. Bro, he hovers. He hovers over you like a gargoyle. He's a goon. He's this giant dude, and he hovers over you. Oh, you didn't know? Oh, you didn't know? Last time I was out in L.A.
when he still lived in LA. He came over to the Airbnb I was at. And always with Kurt. I haven't seen Kurt always in like months and months between when I get to see him. He's one of my oldest, closest friends in comedy. He's my daughter's godfather. You know, very close to him.
Which is a crazy choice. That's on J. It was a strange choice, but he's a good godfather. He's a great guy. He's great. And, uh, him and my daughter have a great relationship. It's fantastic. But he is a whacker, for sure. And he came in... to the house, I was like, my man, it's good to see you. And he goes, you know the P. Diddy thing is real, and that's why Usher, that audio of him fucking that guy was real, and he got Usher first, and that's why Usher, remember when Usher?
was gone for a year because he had to get his asshole sewn back together. What? What? He just rattles them off, too, and it'll go to Libya. All of a sudden, you're talking about Libya. Gaddafi. Remember the thing with Gaddafi? Like, I don't know. Dude, he's one of the people that texts, like, the way he texts, it's not just, like, he won't send you, like, one long text about, like, just everything he'll say. Every sentence is a new sex. You're just kidding. It just seems manic. Full on.
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Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash J-R-E. That's BetterHelp.com slash J-R-E. That's great. That's undiagnosed maniac. And then after like an hour, you get back to be like, cool. He does it to everybody. When he came over, so we had a pool at the Airbnb we were at, and at one point I realized, they go, oh no, he's had Bobby Kelly in the corner for a while. And then Bobby Kelly, Kirk goes inside and Bobby swims over and he goes,
So I guess the Jew lasers are real. He goes, I guess Kurt told me those Jew lasers actually are pretty real. What's going on with them? He just corners you. He just corners you. I love it. I can listen to him all day long. He's doing our show tonight. He's the best podcast guest. You just have to reign him in. Go out to Owen Benjamin. That was a fun one. Take him in this direction. Go in this direction. It just never stops coming out of his mouth. He's a joke-writing machine. He's a genius.
He's an actual genius. I say his day-to-day personality is genuinely, I always describe Kurt. He's the first person I see that price of genius. Where it's like, he's so great at being funny, and his mind works such a thing, but his brain, when you're not talking to him, maybe even when you're talking to him, is just like...
It's like a division sign. It's just formulas. Just formulas. Like that meme. Yeah, 100%. That's how I feel like when I'm talking to Elon. Same thing. Yeah. Like you can tell there's like numbers running in his background and shit going on. He's trying to figure something out while you're talking I mean he's clearly on the spectrum, you know, I mean that's
That's how you make rockets and electric cars and also own Twitter at the same time, be addicted to Twitter. Like, where's your time coming from? And you're playing Diablo? I couldn't imagine being that rich and ever opening Twitter like if I was that like I was just like I'm just definitely above tweeting Really rich guys One thing that happens if you're really rich and people are stopping you from communicating and you get pissed off and you think, well, fuck it, I can just buy Twitter.
Nobody would do that normally. You need a wild person like Elon to do that. That's a wild move to say, I'll just buy Twitter and then pay them way more than it's worth. And then everybody says you're a terrible businessman because your company lost $20 billion in value.
in the first year but it's like no it wasn't worth 44 billion he paid 44 billion for it because he wanted it it wasn't worth that like how was it worth that and then we found out a ton of shit man that we wouldn't have found out about like And like what what's directing it like it's what's keeping us at each other's throats. You're saying almost just in the basic level of like someone his age like
Doing the same action that a girl flopping on her bed on her tummy and kicking her knees up is doing. Whatever. Trump's stupid. He's on the list. You made it. You don't need to prove anything else. You made it. Yeah. Let him find out in the newspapers. It doesn't matter. It's not a good look. I mean, if I had... If I just simply...
I mean, if I double my net worth, I'm going to fucking disappear from public life altogether. Much less Elon money. That's insane. I think you're aware when you have a lot of money of how many different entities. are manipulating society. I think that becomes an issue. And if you can do something about it and you feel compelled to do something about it, you're literally one of the only people that can. Do you think that he did do something about it? He definitely did when he bought Twitter.
Twitter changed. He definitely did with Doge, just exposing some of the wild shit. Like, billions of dollars has gone to who knows where with no receipts. But did they even do anything about it really or he just exposed it people talk about anything about the money that's gone I mean in less
They can somehow or another figure out where it was spent and whether it was valid and hold someone accountable. They're not going to do that because they want to make sure that that doesn't happen to them. And they're just going to keep spending insane amounts of money. I feel like they're still spending.
were like, hey, this is happening, but it's still going to continue to happen for the rest of your lives. Well, here's the thing. If it's been funding the Democrat machine for this whole time, which is what guys like Mike Benz allege, it's a little over my head to really explain, but essentially we're saying... There's so many NGOs. You want to know how many NGOs there are? There is one NGO in India for every 600 people.
I don't know what an NGO is. Idiot. What a fucking idiot, dude. Just so you know. Non-governmental organization. Yeah, no. Tell it to him. Sorry. Non-governmental organization. It's just a nonprofit. So it's a nonprofit that's funded by the government. It's real weird stuff, man, when you find out about it. In future reference, if you can make all your acronyms just say the whole word out so Lewis gets it. He's a stupid idiot. I should assume that no one knows about that. All right.
You do, but I should assume, because I didn't know about it until I started talking to Mike Benz about it. I was like, wait, what? Like, how much money? And when you find out where the money was going and what it was doing, it's like he said it's all for stuff that's too dirty for the CIA. I was like, Jesus Christ.
And he lays it down like hours long presentation and explains how it's what's what's the root of it all. And it's like it's really spooky stuff because you realize like how corrupt our society actually truly is. Do you enjoy having the burden of information? I fucking hate it. Why like where does your where's your Bigfoot podcast? Where does your like political give a shit stop really? Well, I just don't want the world to fall apart. That's all it is
I just I'm not politically aligned with either the left or the right I believe in a lot of shit that the left believes in sure And I believe in a lot of shit that the right believes in I just don't believe in any of the shit that the extremists on either side believe that's the problem. Yeah This is when you're fucking Attacking people at construction sites. It's like come on Like what are you what are we doing? Like you want everybody out? I feel like once you get in
Let's take a test. You know, like, are you the type of guy that shows up at work? Are you the type of guy that respects America? Do you like being here? Is it too easy to get in, though? You had a great analogy about the movie theater. My movie theater analogy is killer. It's a great analogy. I said I've snuck into a movie before, sit in an empty seat that no one's taken. It's not even taking up any kind of space. If they come in and go, hey, where's your ticket? I go...
I don't have one. They go, you have to go. You gotta go, man. You can't be like, ah, dude, I've already watched an hour of it. So what? And I feel like you should let them finish the movie. That's a good... I'm just saying my... I'm not even saying you shouldn't let... I'm saying it's...
Discretion to let them finish the movie or not. I'm just making the point to be like This movie theater was built on my people's land It's just to me. It's just like a weird like reaction to getting caught being like Well, but I've already been here. It's like, I've gotten away with it for so long. Yeah, it's kind of funny. If you steal someone's stuff and they find it 20 years later, you go, well, it's been mine for 20 years.
But also, I totally agree with you. And it's a funny joke. But also, if you're living in Mexico... And you're a young person and you figure out a way to sneak across the border. You get gainfully employed in the United States. You start doing well. You're involved in a business. You start raising a family. But there's no real path to citizenship because you snuck in. But you've actually become.
integrated in society and you're part of the American dream sure it's just there's no path if you're dirt poor that's the problem see if you're living in Denmark and you're white and you got a college degree and you're really good at genetics you want to come over here and work for a lab probably not that hard
to jump through hoops, though. You got to meet with the guy every six months or whatever it is. You got to fill out the paperwork. But if you're walking here from Mexico, there's no clear path to citizenship. You got to marry a fat white woman. Fine fine desperado. Yeah, I mean there's no clear path and especially if you're integrated in like
There was a guy that I had was my landscaper for a long time in LA. He was Danish. He came from Mexico. He walked across from Mexico. It's like and he lived in these communities like he took me to. They had chicken fights in their communities. And this dude had just roosters stacked up everywhere. There was like 100 roosters in this guy's backyard.
Not my landscaper, but his friend. He took me to his friend's place. They would barbecue a goat and cook root. And there wasn't an English-speaking sign for blocks. And I was like, yes. You should have fucking paid him more. So, like, my point is. I paid him more.
My point is like chicken fights completely integrated Society that are a part of LA that are fully Mexican You know and but it functions it works like going in and raiding those people and putting them in jail because They've integrated into society
in an illegal way. It seems stupid. And then it's all the people that are going, it's like, is my tax dollars? Like, guys, the amount of bullshit that our tax dollars go to, that should be a priority over getting a fucking Mexican dad out of the country. It's like... Joe, it sounds like you just want to keep barbecued goat in this country.
But here's the problem. The problem is if they're illegal, right, which is what everybody wants to keep it that way, because whatever, you let them vote. If they're illegal, then you don't have to pay them as much. And this is where it's dark.
This is the dark secret of why people want cheap labor in this country, because there's a lot of people that don't pay people what they're supposed to be getting paid. It's non-union. They're illegal. Everyone knows. And they want cheap labor, cheap, dependable, reliable.
labor so they let people in for that tim dylan was talking to me about this a long time ago because you know he used to be a real estate guy like he he understands like the dynamics of it all it's like that is a big part of what they want why they bring people in but the reality is Yeah, you should just pay people more money
You should make less money. You should pay them more money. You should pay them enough money so they can live. To try to have a giant business that pays people the least amount possible is kind of crazy. That's most businesses. I know but that's kind of crazy. It's kind of a crazy thing to do very interesting my my ex-wife's both her parents are immigrants and you'd be surprised how not like
Sad they feel for people being kicked out like they're like I think they have a very like if Like we had to figure out how to do it legally. That's not a lot of people That's also how people felt like when people were unvaccinated You know like why don't you take the shot? I don't take the shot. I didn't have to I sought it out so hard Did you know Jay was paranoid? You're certain I was dying. Yeah, a lot of people got scared. Yeah, I just heard the fuck out of us I took it
I faked the second one, the booster. Because I realized that there's no way to, it's a piece of paper, it's a card. With like some random name on it. I was like, there's no way they're actually tracking this. My daughter made one on her phone to go into a cheesecake factory. It's pretty impressive. They're going to absolve you of that crime. It'll be in the future. It'll be like when all the people that dodged the draft. Yeah.
They exonerated. Oh, wait, did I just admit to a crime in this podcast? I didn't do that. They were saying they were going to prosecute people. I remember saying that there was people that were saying, if you try to use a fake vaccination card, we're going to prosecute. You're like.
If that's like saying they're gonna put you in jail for not going to jury duty that doesn't actually happen yeah, but that's way crazier than that because that's like This whole thing is nuts like you're telling people they have to do this to get on an airplane It doesn't even have you ever had the Thailand's wraps a cheesecake factory? I'll risk it. Have you ever done jury duty? I haven't done it. If Joe Rogan showed up to do jury duty, it'd be wild. Are you familiar with this case?
I'm familiar with everything I'm a little familiar with everything Mildly I think I interviewed the defendant and the plaintiff. I've never done jury duty either. I haven't gotten a notification in years and years and years, but I would just ignore them back in the day. I just ducked one recently. Pretty hard. Tim Dillon was just talking about it on the spicy wing show but Tim was talking about how he did for a murder trial
Really? Yeah, the guy was a fucking murderer recently. Yeah, he was talking about it recently did the guy it was a long time ago, but he he was Did jury duty and he was like joking around with the defendant if I was guaranteed that I'd go show up. It's just what you're gonna get is like
attacks something or a business argument or some kind of shit and that's boring as hell. Now you have to pretend to be racist to get out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta get schizophrenia. I hate, uh, what's the last name of the one guy? Watkins? I hate black people. It's Jeremiah Watkins. I'm a little too opinionated. I mean, that's what I'd say.
The only time ever I showed up, I wore, I was wearing jean shorts, and they said you can't wear shorts to, and I go, what do I do? They go, you'll go back into the pool and just go home. They sent me home. They sent him into a pool because he was wearing shorts. Yeah, nice shorts idiot Get in the pool. You can't offend people with your wardrobe at this place of the law. I guess so How when did they stop wearing the wigs and the fucking crazy?
Crazy like you know do they do it here? I think so we don't wear the wigs anymore. We first came from oh Pilgrim court Everybody had wigs on they still have it in England to this day It's crazy and Jewish women religious Jewish women, you know where any black woman came from syphilis We all know Americans are still recovering from years of surging prices. Now some in Congress want to make cuts to Medicaid, a program that provides critical health care to 72 million struggling Americans.
including veterans, people with disabilities, kids, and your friends and neighbors. 40% of American births are covered by Medicaid, and Medicaid covers health care costs for a third of children with cancer. Working families rely on this program. It has 77% support. Nearly 9 in 10 Americans oppose Medicaid cuts.
Did you know that 12 million Medicaid families live in rural communities? Many of these people voted for President Trump, but they didn't vote for this. If Congress cuts Medicaid, a lot of rural hospitals could close, and a lot of rural families will be hurt. We'll see you next time. This episode is brought to you by Visible. ... ... ... ... ... with unlimited data for a low flat rate. Sound good?
then Visible is for you. It's so simple. You get unlimited data, talk, text, and hotspot all by Verizon's 5G network. And it's an all digital wireless service. So you can bring the phone you have, then act. Activate and manage your plan in the app on your phone or online. And for a limited time, use the code Rogan to get Visible for $20 a month, guaranteed for one year. Don't wait. Switch to Visible with the code. The wigs? Yeah.
How so? All the people, this is what, this is, so the story's a little complicated.
This may or may not have been exactly how it happened, but it seems like when explorers came to North America, they contracted syphilis from the natives and then brought it back to... europe and then a lot of people were getting syphilis these people were freaks they're all each other and they were losing their hair and getting big holes in their face and like syphilis is crazy like rots your head away and so they started wearing wigs because they had like big
scabby holes in their head like literally it's horrific shit and the more wealthy you were the bigger the wig So that was like bigwigs. That's what the term bigwigs come from. It comes from these freaks that all had syphilis that were all banging each other. And if you have money, you're fucking just getting pussy left and right. Yeah. So there was these two... two guys that were royals and they started it all. They started wearing the wigs when they got syphilis. Wow. That's crazy. Nuts.
So I guess it all dials back. It's still, it's not the white man's fault. He's dirty-ass Indians. It has to be. He's dirty Indian sluts. It has to be why they wear wigs in court. It has to be, right? Like it has to be like a proper thing, like wearing a tie or something, like a gentleman wears a wig.
I should start wearing a wig. How fun would that be? A powdered wig. I thought about getting a toupee recently just to be funny and just show up with like a really high quality toupee. Jamar does that. You should get a hair system, not a toupee. No, dude. I'm not going to another country to get my fucking ass hair as a plant. No, no, not an implant. It's just a system. It's like a different, it's like more permanent toupee.
It really looks dude. I saw a video today where this doctor was talking and a doctor that I know Was talking Garth Fisher's his name. He was talking about his clients that went down to Turkey to get a gastric bypass operation. And then a couple of months later, like my stomach's bothering me. And the doctor's like, Oh, let's check out what's going on with your stomach. How long have you only had one kidney?
And she's like, I have two kidneys. He goes, no, you have one kidney. And then contacts the other two girls that were on the trip. They all come in and get examined. They're all missing a kidney as well. So they went down to Turkey to get a bypass, a gastric bypass, and they stole their fucking kidneys. Brilliant. Yo. Not bad.
Bro, imagine out there stealing body parts. You only have one kidney. That's crazy. I mean, it's better. Did they also get the gastric bypass, though? They did. But I think they paid for it. Wow. What if it cost a kidney to get gastric bypass? There's fat people that would do that. Right. What if they didn't read the fine print?
Yeah, and it just cost you this. Here's why it's so cheap. We need a kidney. It's free if you have A-B blood. How much is a kidney on the black market worth? That's a good question, Jamie. Don't Google that. Off the dome. Let's guess. How big is your circle of give a kidney if they need? Oh, it's very small. Yeah? Yeah, you're going to have to figure that out.
I'm not giving up kidneys. Where? Does Ari Shafir get your kidney? Not good. Not as good. It's two. That's why you have two. Hello, science. Catch up.
You can live we want it stealing people's kidneys you live with one kidney But how much does it affect you like data like you exercise still can you I don't know what it's a very good question. I think you live life relatively normal Yeah, we'll do it for loved ones. It's interesting that people get kicked in the kidneys all the time, but you don't really hear about too many severe kidney injuries.
You know like you hear about liver injuries. Yeah hear about internal bleeding from guys from body shots Don't hear too much about kidney. You're getting punched in the fucking liver It's the most painful thing. It's weird on the planet dude. It's a weird feeling
It's crazy. It just shuts your body down. You roll around on the floor and start crying. I think Mickey Gall told me. Mickey Gall kicked me in my kidney. So I sparred with Mickey Gall once and I sparred with Michael Bisping once and both of them put me down.
with liver shots. No, I'm sorry, liver shots, not kidney. Liver shots. But they called it. This is how good fighters are. Like, hey, watch this. Bang. And they just put me down. I mean, literally the whole gym of people cackling, laughing at me as I roll around on the floor. Ask him no he's liver shot and bare knuckle
Ilya Teporia bare knuckle liver shot in people you I'd rather be punched in the face 10 out of 10 times But Mickey said when he lost to Diego Sanchez it was because his kidney started shutting off. That's why I bet that is Yeah, that's a brutal thing that they do Man like Kayla Harrison who just won the bantamweight title bro. Oh that picture of her she was so big
She's so jacked and that her getting down to 135, I don't know how much weight she's losing. I don't really want to ask, but I do. You know, we're not supposed to ask ladies what they weigh. She was competing in the Olympics. Yeah, and when she was over at the PFL, she was fighting at 155.
Yeah her picture her picture of her at the actual weigh-in mm-hmm was like scary Yeah, it's kind of fucked up. It was like a thumbnail from like crack whore confessions See this is the problem the UFC had a 145 pound division and a man Nunes was the champion of it.
Like, for the health of both fighters, like, that would be a good way. I mean, it really depends on if Kayla Harrison can continue to make 135 and defend the title, because I don't know who's going to beat her. She's too fucking strong. She's so strong. That was a lot with, like, the chicks. There's, like, a real dominant chick. for a while. With Amanda, it was KO power. Amanda was one of the rare women that she could just touch you and just blast you out of orbit.
You know it's usually with women. It's like a combination punches like Amanda had extraordinary power like when she knocked out cyborg That was wild dude. That was fun. She's folded cyborg. I'm like that lady can crack. What was it? Silva this last weekend there was a knockout the guy was asleep standing and it was the most softest oh Yes, yeah like chin punch Korean dude. Yeah, yeah 23 years old. It was like he Joe saying you he moved
And just like it was the smallest little like he didn't pull it from the shoulder or nothing. One of the best left hooks of all time. The guy was asleep before he hit the ground. One of the best left hooks of all time. It was literally like this. Bam. Like he just turned it over. And he's a kid, right? Yeah, he's young. No, he's not that young. No, no, no. Here it is. Boom! Look at that.
I think he's 28. That's a lot of his momentum coming in too. It's like the perfect place timing. For sure. But he's also a really good boxer. You get knocked out and then some dudes doing backflips in the ring. That's the worst feeling. By the way, I'm not a good enough sport for if I was knocked out and they come.
over and start doing that thing where they're touching my face a lot and be like, thank you for the opportunity. Get the fuck away from me, dickhead. A lot of people do. You fucking jerk off. I don't want to talk to you. He goes, hey, will you pray with me? No. Will you pray with me? To who? A god that hates my guts? That's so funny I'm praying to God this whole training camp God just gave me a concussion
Thanks, God. That's hilarious. I guess God thought I was training wrong. This lady's got a problem. Because if she, you know, other than the Amanda Nunes fight, who? Well, who's going to pay to watch her just steamroll somebody? If she can continue to make 135, if she becomes a marathon runner or something, and drops even more muscle mass and can make 135, who the fuck is going to be able to deal with that? It was like Mike Tyson back in the day. It became a thing.
where they started offering you money back on the pay-per-views if he didn't last at least two rounds. Did they? Yeah, that was the whole thing. Because he was knocking people out so fast. It was like...
Yeah, I'm not paying for this this is everybody would look at a pay-per-view based on how long you thought the fight would last like $60 man Yeah, it wasn't that much back then but but I remember people being bummed out It was like a 30 second knockout, but it was also fun to like it was almost like Mike Tyson, his thing was, he was so...
Vicious and badass. Yeah, that was kind of fun to watch somebody that dominant, you know But also the crazy the UFC people like they want to they want the back-and-forth they want five crazy fights They want to like you feel like you're getting your money's worth. I remember if they're Tyson Holy The ear thing mm-hmm I ordered that pay-per-view and I was driving around that night afterwards listen to the radio and people were like like tons of complaining on sports radio like
You just watched a guy bite another man's ear off. You would pay $60 just for that. Yeah, before the fight, if they were like, watch a man eat another man's ear, I'll pay anything you want. Didn't he bite him twice? Yeah, he didn't get it off the money back was for that fight Mike Tyson has 50 bucks back then his edibles that are ear-shaped Funniest fucking things in the fact that their friends now Evander Mike is love and her life has no idea what's going on
He doesn't? He'd be friends with anybody. He is Gonski. Evander Holyfield? Is he? Oh. He was on my podcast a few years back. Really? Yeah. Back in L.A. No, man. He was, like, super coherent back in L.A. Damn. I mean, that was a few years ago. seven years ago, maybe? How long ago? Was Amanda on the show? Yeah.
Did he fight Vitor? Is that who fought Vitor? Yeah. That was unfortunate. I don't think he had a real camp for that fight either. I think that was a last minute replacement because Vitor was supposed to fight somebody else, right? Yeah. Very few athletes. Whatever I think at this point I know there's bigger contracts now 19 so six years ago, but very few athletes will ever understand the idea of that like
What those guys lives were like even like Riddick bow. Oh, yeah Riddick bow was champion for like two fights You know what I mean? And he was awesome. He was awesome, but he didn't have a long run or anything. And then you see his thing. It's like 14 acres with white tigers everywhere, and all his clothes are silk. Like, they're immediately...
They were just getting handed $50 million in one night. I know it's like you train for that night, but that's a crazy amount of money. No athletes get that anymore. Nothing like that. There's a few. Canelo does. Does he? Yeah, Canelo has a giant deal. Maybe even boxing still has that with the pay-per-view taken. Some of these boxers are making pretty fucking nuts. But that sport's the only sport. UFC.
He's never paid like that, has he? I don't know what the most amount anyone's been paid in the UFC for a fight. If I had to guess, it's got to be Conor. Yeah, without a doubt. Yeah. I know Conor has made more than $100 million in the UFC, I believe. See if that's a fact.
Is that going all in with his endorsements? I shouldn't say that because I don't really know. I just read some article that tried to break down how much he made for each pay-per-view and how much he made at the beginning of his career when he first burst onto the scene. Yeah. I got two numbers in the first results. That says 39.3, and then down here says 108. Yeah.
Yeah, so there's like the pay-per-view bonuses versus like fight pay So what I was gonna say is I thought he made a hundred million dollars from the Floyd fight So it can't be that So $30 million. Oh, it says $30 million from the boxing match in Floyd. I thought it was $100 million. And his biggest payout was against Khabib for $28.5 almost. Yeah, he's... So $28 million. He's probably made the most. That was an all-pay-per-view bonus. That was a huge pay-per-view.
Right, but I'm but he did get paid. I mean that but that's the only way they get paid anyway. Yeah, of course I mean the pay-per-view bonus thing is great because it forces them to promote but I don't mind a silent killer. I don't mind an Alex Pereira. I don't want to see him promoted. He don't have to promote. That dude promotes when he puts people into orbit. You know, just let him train. Let him shoot a fucking bow and arrow at a soccer ball. Let him train. Like, don't fucking...
Pawn that guy out and have him do media everywhere like it leave his energy alone Like you guys can do enough with promotion from his highlight reel. Do you know but the guy like Connor though? That fucking guy, if he can get on the radio, if he can get on a talk show, if he can start talking shit, Dana sees dollar bills like fucking Scrooge McDuck. He starts throwing gold coins in the air.
Connor was the best at it. What about a couple weeks ago, Aaron Blanchfield versus, what was the girl she was fighting? Macy Barber. They canceled it as it was starting. They already did the package for the main event, and then they found out that Macy Barber...
had like passed out. She had a seizure backstage. I don't want to speak out of turn. So it's some sort of medical condition and she was in trouble. And so they sent her to the hospital to get checked out. I mean, they literally said, all right, now it's time for the main event. And then they were like, well, never mind. We're not doing it.
Yeah, I don't. Again, I don't want to speak out of turn, but I think she might have had some health concerns. She's had a bunch of health concerns over the last couple of years, I think. And then she missed weight, which is never a good sign. You know, when they miss weight, usually something's off. Yeah. A lot of times they're injured or sick or something.
But whatever it was, it sucks. That sucks. For Erin Blanchfield. She's actually from my hometown, Jersey. She's a beast, dude. Yeah, she's a monster. Very good. Very young, too. What, are you going to sit him up and say something shitty about her? And then be like, I know her actually really well. She's a dumb bitch. Oh, I grew up with her.
What an ass. I was with Dave Porterfield. You know, he's a big fan of Meatball Molly McCann, who's great, too. But he's like, I'm betting on Molly, and I go, yeah. And he's like, you think? I go, dude, like, Erin Blanchfield is the truth. Like, she's a fucking problem. She's a problem if she gets a hold of Molly and she just ragdolled her. If you were going to Pete Rose your own sport, how do you think you would hit?
Good. Oh, I used to bet on it. Yeah, but I can't affect the outcome. So I used in the early days of the UFC when they first started having lines in sports books, I'd bet because I would see like you'd see shit like Anderson Silva is like if this isn't an eight hundred to one and silver versus Travis looter like okay
That was that was different. Okay, Travis Luter lost that fight in my opinion because he cut too much weight He was he had a mounted early in the fight. Let me tell you something Travis Luter's Brazilian jiu-jitsu was fucking elite The guys that I know the train with them like go dude. He's like Ricardo laborio level they're like he's special like he he did the ultimate fighter and Everybody was terrified like that motherfucker gets you on the ground. You're in trouble. Yeah, he's just a machine
jiu-jitsu so i saw him cut weight and he looked so bad his lips were cracked Well his face was sucked in and he was shuffling to the scale and he still didn't make way he never made way That's right That's crazy they used to give the winner the ultimate fighter a title shot Like back in the day, it was like a crazy, like, just sort of like.
Prize like it's just change. It's turned into such more of a legitimate sport now You can't just give like the winner of a reality show a title America's Got Talent used to give a million dollar prize and then one day they just change like you just be part of an America's Got Talent show in Vegas
You a title fight is that I think the first few seasons. Yeah, I think Travis had had a few fights in the UFC before that dude that was Long after the ultimate fighter. Oh, I'm brought 90% sure because I know he knocked out Marvin Eastman I remember that fight and you know he fought quite a few dudes But the main theme was when Travis got a hold of you you were fucked
And he got a hold of Anderson, and Anderson looked, it was early in the fight, but then Anderson got him in a triangle. He just tired out, and Anderson was blasting him. When he first came in, it was crazy. If you saw that guy the day before, you'd go, oh, my God, how is this guy even alive? be taken to a hospital yeah he looks so bad I've seen a lot of people weigh in looking really bad but Travis was the worst so he look at this he's mounted on top of Anderson early in the fight Wow
I mean, I skipped ahead. He was mounted for like two and a half minutes. Yeah, I mean, but he just gassed out, man. I mean, he just had nothing left. He lost too much weight, man. And so then Anderson got him in a triangle and started fucking him up with elbows. So there came a point in time where you could see him visibly fading. I think, look at that mount, bro. Look how slick that is. I mean, this dude is so slick.
Travis was so dangerous, man. He could have possibly submitted him, but he was just too big for the weight class. He shouldn't have been making that weight. So that's my point. It's like, yeah.
He was a live dog in this fight is my point. He was tired. That wasn't even really an escape that Anderson did He lost way too much. What dude? He was dead the day before I mean dead when I saw him dead. He looked like he might die Have you ever gotten to talk to a fighter about the psychology of like Once you lose like when you're just like it's dominant force and once you lose like your whole thing change like Roy Jones jr. Was an overnight
Overnight. Overnight. That one guy called him out, said he was ducking him. Antonio Tarver. Tarver said he was ducking him. Then Antonio Tarver beat him. Then Glenn Johnson just beat him, knocked him through the ropes. It was just like it became like, oh, you can just beat him. But Glenn Johnson knocked him out where it was one of those scary ones where your arms are stiff. Yeah.
And it didn't seem like he hit him that hard either. It seemed like it couldn't be real that it was happening. Two fights before that was the fight, I believe, where he... He's hitting the guy, and he tells the ref, he's like, stop the fight. And then the ref didn't, and he hit him a few more times. Yeah, and he passed the end zone. Like, that was like a...
Two fights before it was just all over. Yeah, but you know what happened? Roy went up to heavyweight and he fought John Ruiz and then he dropped back down to light heavyweight and that's a real problem. There's like he got knocked out. So it's like He's stiff dude like when you get knocked down and you're just like stiff here
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To Joe Rogan Experience listeners, right now, get 25% off your first order at TommyJohn.com slash Rogan. 25% off, risk-free, at TommyJohn.com slash Rogan. Anderson Silva. Oh, that's so awful. Wasn't it pretty much Anderson Silva after the leg went in the fight? Yeah. He won fights since, but he never really captured back like...
We're just going to watch him. We went first UFC we ever went to was 101 in Philly. The first one ever in Philly. Forrest Griffin. Forrest Griffin. And a racist-ass Philly. That night for us in general was just a hilarious thing. We went with... It was me, Dave, and Louis, all three of us. The first white boy weekend. The first white boy weekend. We went to like an Oz Fest or Mayhem Fest. Mayhem Fest, yeah. And then UFC. Louis and Dave brought their friend who I was not getting along with.
And a girl who... Shout out Crypto West. Crypto West. We used to... Louis used to date a girl who became friends with the group, sort of, and she came with us also. We'll say she's a chunkier girl. Look, this is back in the day when I was younger. It's like...
If you become friends with a girl, like you can't separate friendship. No one's gonna see her. You don't have to over-explain that you fucked a girl that wasn't super hot. No, she was really hot, I mean. It's okay. Look, you know what? I'm saying now I wouldn't have dated her. But yeah, she was a little bit of a chunkier girl. And uh...
Whatever it was that we were just, we were just talking shit, like, you know, watching the fights. Everyone's just being animals. We ended up getting to a thing with these guys in front of us. Like, it was like, it was maybe four of us, and I want to say maybe three of them. We might have outnumbered them.
No, I don't think so. At first, it was just there was like one or two guys just there. The other guys were gone. It's like a coyote trap. They show you one coyote and the rest of them surround you. And we started talking shit with these guys. It just turned into like a... we shouldn't make this, we're not looking, none of us are looking for trouble, guys. The guys were, I think we were talking and saying shit, like being funny, and I think they kind of were giving us like a...
Why don't you guys shut the fuck up kind of yeah? We're being dickhead comedians, and they're like really serious about watching an MMA fight right now first whenever in Philadelphia They turned around they start talking shit, so then I we start talking shit to them We kind of chump the two guys and then their group of friends show
And they get wind that they just got chumped by these fucking loser comedians. Yeah, they left the nerds behind and they went and got merch. Oh boy. You make the nerds get merch. We see what we're working with. It became a whole argument. These guys started talking shit to us.
And by the way, we were above them. We could have fucked it. We should have just- Oh, higher ground. We should have just dominated these guys. But whatever had happened, we just didn't want to fight and get kicked out. We're not like tough guys like that. So they start talking shit. And then this is like, it's such fight. It's almost like when somebody spits.
One of the guys goes it was like you'll fuck you and fuck your fat bitch too about the girl that I was seeing and we all just acted like we didn't hear it. Everyone acted like we didn't hear it. We just communally agreed without even looking at each other. We were like these guys, huh?
She said the rest like I can't believe these guys were ready to fight for everything except me when that was the final go to goes Well, you should stick up for yourself lady, and then we just sat there. She's a big girl. She could have helped
Then we went outside and pretended like we were waiting to find them in a sea of 18,000 people being moved. God, we suck. Oh, boy. God, we did like jerk-offs there. But then that was so funny because it was Philly, which historically hilariously racist city.
Which fight was that? It was Forrest Griffin, Anderson Silva. Oh, that one was crazy. So, Forrest Griffin, I mean, the applause he got, when he came out, the ovation he got, they couldn't wait. They loved him. And they literally booed Anderson Silva.
And then Anderson Silva handled that hilariously and quick. Yeah. And, uh, and then when they, uh, Farris Griffin left immediately. He didn't stay. He ran right out of the ring, which was a thing. And then, uh, they, you know, they announced the thing. It was your winner.
And still, Anderson Silva, and the place booed. It was such a sweet moment, because Anderson Silva seems like his personality is good. It seems like, and they were booing, and they had him on the big screen, and Anderson Silva goes like,
He almost had to go, really? And he's holding the belt, and they're like, yeah, all right, you son of a bitch. That was amazing. And they cheered for him. Come on, man. Strange. We saw an 18-year-old or 19-year-old John Jones just walking around the arena that night. And I didn't know.
I would got into UFC way early me and my step-up used to get like, you know ninja versus sumo wrestler UFC and then when it got like Rules and everyone was kind of like, you know trying to start doing like actual MMA I lost track of it and Lewis and Dave were super into it. That's funny when the rules came, you checked out. Checked out. Me and Dave, we became friends. We were roommates in Brooklyn. We would go to the blockbuster, rent the old UFCs. It was like ultimate knockouts.
Ultimate Submissions, they had like a series of videos, and who was it, Mark Lehman, he would teach you how to do moves. There was like a segment where it's like, hey kids at home, here's how you do a fucking home bar. So me and Dave, literally living in the shittiest, dirtiest,
apartment with garbage everywhere and beer bottles everywhere, we would have grappling matches with our buddy Wes. My cauliflower ear didn't come from jujitsu. This is from Dave Smith. He would literally open hand smack. We had open hand smacking rules. Open hands, smack me in the ear.
Political pump maybe the best political pundit alive. Yeah, where does that assassinate him? It was a pothead wigger who was grappling amongst garbage with me That's always my couch for a couple years ever imagine he was gonna be that good like no political commentary
You know what? I shouldn't say no. I didn't know he was going to go to be that kind of big in it. The fact that he is great at it doesn't surprise me at all. His recall's nuts. It's interesting how, like, because I said this was just a guy. At a time I said we smoked pot.
We essentially raised my daughter of a gay couple during the day. Then my ex-wife would come home. And then we'd head into the city and meet up with Louis. How many times did your ex-wife accuse you of doing gay shit with Dave? You know what's funny? One of the reasons I was able to give while I was leaving when I left...
Was I went in her thing to see if she was I was like I should see if she's cheating also And I went to her computer and it was nothing about her cheating at all. It was several times looking up what to do when you find out your husband is gay. I was like, what?
What? Imagine being a woman married to a guy and thinking he's secretly sneaking away and sucking cock. That's a video that just went viral recently. The girl caught her boyfriend or husband. It looked staged. I saw that. You think it was staged? I don't think so, dude. I don't think she's that good of an actress.
I think a lot of these are staged. They might be. I think a lot of them are staged. She was losing her mind. She's like, you're fucking that guy? You're fucking him, Chris? Really? Cheaters getting caught by their significant others, though. As much as I've felt that pain, I love those videos. That's a rabbit hole I've gone to. Remember the show Cheaters? All fake. All fake. All fake. I believe it. I've talked to so many people who've worked at Cheaters before and stuff. I wanted to...
Be the host? They brought Peter Gunz from Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz, Uptown Baby. Remember that song? Yeah. He became the newest host. Before him, it was Clark Gable. It was like Clark Gable's grandson. Seriously, it was like Clark Gable III or something. He died from a drug overdose. The original guy who hosted was a guy named Tommy Habib.
He was pretty great at it. Then the little guy got stabbed. Fake. Completely fake. Do you remember Morton Downey Jr.? Of course. He was the best. He was the best. Yeah, he would just smoke on the show and just yell at people. He's like, all right.
So, you're a Nazi. Here's the Jewish Defamation League. Let's bring him out to fight. This is what's crazy. There was a guy who used to work as a doorman at one of the comedy clubs, like a wannabe comedian, and he would also get... jobs on these reality shows and the way it would work they'd call him up hey we're looking for someone whose brother had an affair with his wife and he just found out he goes what a coincidence
My brother just said, like, that would be the thing. They'd go, great, come on in. We're looking for a guy who came back from Vietnam, very disillusioned, you know, whatever the fuck it is. They would just say that to him, and he'd go, great. And they knew it was bullshit, and he would just show up and act it. So you came back from Vietnam, and what did you discover there? And he would just start talking. When it's real, it goes bad. They had the one thing where the guy was Jenny Jones.
That ruined her fucking career completely. The guy was in love with the guy. They were like, hey, I'll do the show, but it's not going to be a guy, right, who's into me. And they were like, no, no, no. And then it was this, now he's friends with two people.
A big fat girl and a gay guy. And the big fat girl was sitting out there. And he was like, oh, shit. Okay. And they go, no, no, it's not her. And they bring out the guy. And he says, he goes, Oh, you lied to me and his face is real like embarrassed and he killed the gay guy later and that ruined Jenny Jones career completely Yeah. You know, Jenny Jones was a comic and she used to do like all girls night. So at the club, like you couldn't even be in the club.
So they would do like a show where it would be all-girl waitstaff, all-girl everything. All-girl audience. It's the least funny show ever. The service is slow. The math is wrong. But the place was clean as shit. No security. Latina gang fights in every bathroom. I think it was just a regular club. It's just they just only got female staff to run everything.
That's great. You sometimes see that was like an all-female comedy festival. Imagine if you tried to do an all-male comedy festival. It'd be hilarious. We have at Skank Fest. Have you seen that? Did you ever see that? There's like, I forget, there's some shift in some town where there are brands. is like and this shift is all 100% female police officers like well
Now we know the time and place, dude. Take over this fucking city, dude. Don't do that on a flight. I wasn't on it, but I've seen it where it's like, just so you know, today.
All of the flight attendants and our captain and co-captain are female. You're like, what? Let me off this fucking flight right now. Wasn't that the case in Toronto where the plane flipped upside down? I think that was that. That's the movie Flight with Denzel Washington. No, no, no. They woke you up and they were like, hey.
Do you know how to read a map? She came in hot. She came in hot on the landing and flipped the plane. Oh, yeah. When it landed upside down, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro. Yeah. Yeah. I think that was one of them deals. If I get a female Uber driver, I rebook my Uber. My god, they drive so slow and buy like the the laws I did I've been in Waymo twice because I did an Asian woman driver is the worst
There's a lot of that in New York City sometimes. Yeah. It's crazy. And they are slow and they do not change lanes. And it is brutal to sit there in the back and not yell. And then they're going exactly the speed limit so you can't complain. Please break the law. This is crazy. Did you see that guy who was one of the producers of Top Gear in the UK? He got his license revoked because he went 24 miles an hour in a 20 mile an hour zone. It took his license away for six months.
Weird England that town needs a Mexican uprising. It sounds like they did an English uprising 20 I was just driving from Manchester to London when you get into London the speed limit is 20 miles an hour. That is so crazy. It's insane. How many kilometers per hour is that? I don't know, but my driver had, it was in miles per hour, like his speedometer, and it was 20 miles an hour he was going.
It just feels like you're in slow motion. It's insane. Do they always use miles per hour? I think they use kilometers, right? No, I think they do, yeah. Canada uses kilometers. I thought they used kilometers. But this car this car specifically had miles per hour on this but I'm really like you're on the wrong side of the road Yeah, is that weird?
You're a bad driver on the right side of the road. Well, I wasn't driving. I did drive in Jamaica because that was an English-owned country. Territory. So they're on the opposite side as well. And I rented mopeds when I was in Jamaica. And you get used to it very quickly.
Like you think it's gonna really turn you around but like whatever it is your mind just flips it and As soon as I drive into Canada right away, we've been Canada signs. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no. Here we go. We're gonna go Oost. Oost. Nord. How many different countries use
inches and miles an hour. Doesn't everybody use kilometers now? Doesn't everybody use the metric system? I still think they're wrong. That's crazy. They tried it on us when I was in high school. Really? Yeah, they tried to introduce the metric systems if this is going to be the thing we all accept.
And everybody's like, nah. Yeah. Can't equate it. Not in this country, bitch. I don't follow the Dewey Decimal System either. Nope. Suck my dick, old people. Whoa. Fuck your kilograms. Yeah. It's a weird thing that one... Country just says, nah, we can't learn it. Fuck that. I mean, how many countries have it? How many countries have inches? I think it's maybe England. It says the UK, USA, and Canada keep miles per hour.
Oh, so is that what is England as miles per hour? Oh, no, they have it like it's double, but their main thing is definitely kilometers for sure. Everything else is kilometers? So it's like six countries? That have miles per hour? Or inches? It's just weird that we didn't... I still don't know. I feel like Dick has inches in every... You think so? My dick is 36 decimeters. It's 26,000 kilgometers. Do you guys have a vast majority of countries use kilometers per hour?
9% of the world uses miles per hour us being the notable example interesting so it's all the UK I wasn't wrong when I was in England for the fights they measure people in stone So they say 10 stone. I have no idea what that means. I think it's 230 pounds. Is it 13 pounds each stone? It's a weird, old-timey fucking measure, but you have to say it. Was it actually based off of stones? I think so. Probably, right? 14 pounds? So that would be 240 pounds, 10 stone. I think it was actually like...
Like a fucking scale just a scale with like the person on one side and stones on the other I think it's what it comes from I do like England though. It's shitty food But it's still just a cool but like one like only circumcised person in a room piece of shit So no 10 stones 140 pounds, right? You said it's 14 pounds per? Yeah. Okay. 20 stone would be 240 pounds. So then you'd have to say the, like, five stone, nine ounces, then say the fucking pounds afterwards? It's weird. Like, why?
Talking about weird things to keep holding on to. Stone. That's a strange one. Do you go and see the places? Any of those weird destinations for UFC? I definitely have, yeah. Yeah, London's cool. It's interesting. You'd go into a bar that's a... 500 year old place. Yeah, like there's some old shit in that town. Oh, yeah, you know, you see how New York was like designed after it. So yeah, yeah, London's a cool town. I like I like
Honestly if I like cities that remind me of New York's like I love Rome rooms like the OG New York, right? It's fucking really cool So I don't think you're right never been how's it like New York?
It's just, it feels like, because back in the day, it was like the most. Hey, see the Pope, you cocksucker. It's like the hub. It's like very fast moving. Yeah, they were more advanced than everyone. They were just like, you know, architecturally, technologically, they were way ahead of their time with everything. That St. Peter's Basilica is bananas. I think about that all the time. I think about it all the time, like the amount of work.
Involved in making something that spectacular the Sistine Chapel's fucking nuts Michelangelo went blind painting it like he was on scaffolding and like paint was just dripping into his eye and he started going mad and fucking It's so cool and the details and it wasn't even a Which is the craziest thing he wasn't like he wasn't that wasn't by trade what he did He was just a genius and could like emulate Like that crazy ass art. He could do anything sculptures were insane. Yeah
The fucking art in the Vatican, too, is nuts. When you're walking through the place, you're like, how much money is all this worth? Like, this is crazy. It's the biggest art museum in the world. And I'm going again. I brought my son a few years ago on a father-son trip. And he was eight years old.
We we did a four-hour tour. We could have done an eight-hour tour. It was so cool It was just never-ending just every room was more awesome than the next that the big map room Did you see that they had like a map it was like you know 150 feet wide fucking however many feet
And it was 99% accurate and whatever year was that they made it it was like I don't know like hundreds and hundreds of years ago 99% accurate drawn by hand crazy I can't even begin to tell you how like I have no idea how that could possibly be done Lewis swore to me today. He was gonna crowbar an art talk I did I said he's gonna think it's gay and he was like he doesn't it's fine that art would be gay Yeah
The books that they have, too, they have a crazy library. They probably have some books from the Library of Alexandria. They got tucked away in there. Well, apparently, the deeper you go, the more exotic the shit is. There's levels that you can only have access to if you're like... a king or a fucking that's why i believe people are capable of hiding ufo information that's why i believe people are capable because they're people capable of hiding all kinds of shit
You hide in England shit. No one gives a fuck. What are they hiding in there? Salt? Things for their food? Tastes good? The king's list. This is when we had dragons. But yeah, yeah, yeah the history of dragons been stifled Jay doesn't travel he won't go to other countries I'm trying to get him to do shows like in the UK. Just I mean they have the internet
Well, you gotta figure New York to L.A. is a six-hour flight. New York to Amsterdam is a seven-hour flight. I've done everything. Everything I did overseas, I did probably, or most things, I should say, probably a little young in comedy. Intimidated myself on the situations you can't go to like a nice nice restaurant or like you That when I was in South Africa, I was wealthy dude. It's their money is garbage but
But no, but I'm glad I've and I've enjoyed some of the places when I've gone to them. It's just like I am such a a regular idiot that I'm Just like I'm not gonna understand the food and what what am I gonna plug my stuff into doesn't explode if it's wrong dude? When you walk through the red light district like the places where you could buy like snacks like didn't have any dude It's so funny. They have like
Like hot dogs on like pizza buns. It's so for like dumb Americans to be like, oh, a hot dog on a pizza bun. You fucking just eat this terrible shit. Chocolate taco. Chocolate tacos are great. Choco taco. Chocolate tacos were fucking badass. I get it, Jay. Why travel? Fuck it. Yeah, I follow the Kid Rock credo. I just try to get famous here. Let's just handle it here. This is the best place to be famous if you can get famous. Yeah, who does it better than Kid Rock?
Nobody. The guy's really figured it out. Also, by gunning down that Miller Lite, you know. Bud Light. Bud Light, rather. That Bud Light thing, they gunned down those cans. Like, that was, like, one of the craziest moments in economy. Like that fucking the Bud Light stock dropped like a rock like that moment when Kid Rock
Guns down the Bud Light. Kid Rock maybe, though, if we were going to appoint him something, he should be the minister of beer. He should be the person deciding what beer we should have. I'll accept that. Because his friendship with the president is...
Hilarious funny and wacky. There's been no other thing like that ever You know I mean you never find out like oh Bill Clinton and Iverson kick it once in a while right happened well there was What the fuck Bobby Brown and fucking Joe Biden fucking golfing? crush ass together. What the fuck's his name that's friends with Kim Jong-un? Rodman. Rodman. Yeah, that's Rodman. Rodman goes over there and hangs with Kim Jong-un. It's the best documentary. Did you ever see that documentary? No. Oh.
Treat yourself as soon as humanly possible to Dennis Rodman's Big Bang and Ponyang. Oh, boy. It starts off as him going over there believing he's doing something diplomatic. And then they go, all right, so you're going to go home and gather up some players and come here.
And the documentary filmmaker goes, on the flight back, when they were coming back now to North Korea, he goes, oh, I noticed from the last time that Dennis has started drinking again. And he was supposed to be like, stop drinking completely. And then... The documentary takes off because it's just Dennis Robin fucking up in North Korea
Two hours so he first comes in drunkenly starts bowing everybody. It's not a bowing culture, so that's pretty hilarious He treats the North Koreans like they're dolls He'll like grab them and make them come sing karaoke and just points at them like while they sing. He just dominates the room and everyone's afraid of him and everyone hates him. Oh, no. It's one of the best documentaries. Is there a trailer for a trailer? What a crazy thing to go hang out with a dictator. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, also, Kim Jong-un also does not want much to do with Dennis Robin. What? After his meltdown, he stiffs him. He has Dennis Robin meet him at his chalet, and then he's not there. Whoa. And then it's just Dennis Rodman crying. Is this the trailer? Oh. We're here today for Dennis Rodman to make a historic announcement following his recent visit to North Korea. I just realized how much influence stylistically you take from Dennis Rodman, Jay. Almost the same guy, a lot of people say.
Mr. Rodman is on a private trip and our views about North Korea have not changed. You got the Jaycees, the Beyonce, stuff like that. None of these people in the world are doing what I'm doing.
Concerned as many Americans are about giving a birthday present to a man. Wait pause it for one second This that do you remember that interview on ESPN? No, so they had him and the players that agreed to play Go on there and he loses his mind that is rum but in the documentary they show you the whole build-up to that which is The guys meeting without Dennis Robin like Dennis is a little off his rocker right now and America's turning on us We're gonna do this interview with CNN
While Dennis is asleep hungover and we'll just do it just us and we'll be able to explain this better that we're just trying to be diplomatic and do something here and Then Dennis Robin wakes up and finds out they're doing that and he just barges on and he just cuts a wrestling promo And he's just slobber-filled. It makes no sense. Who just had his uncle executed. I'm going to rash-ass what the hell you think. I'm standing here. Look at these guys. Look at them. So great.
Do you have to let the Koreans win when you go over there? Oh, it didn't matter. The Koreans, the game was such nonsense. Like at first it was the Americans versus them. The Koreans kept up with them.
Because they're good and they're giving a shit and trying Dennis Robbins stops playing he just changed out of his thing puts on street clothes and goes and hangs out with Right away, and then it goes at halftime. He just goes Some people switch jerseys and then he goes so we could play together and they just has them play he also
has the audience try to sing a long happy birthday to Kim Jong-un when he starts the game and the audience doesn't know what he's singing. So they just start clapping too fast while he's singing. It's really, it's two fantastic hours of television. I recommend it highly. Wow. I love that kind of just brazen, not seeing what's happening around you. Everyone's hating him and he's just like, I'm killing it. I can't believe how good he's doing. That's great. So he doesn't go over there anymore?
No. Well, I don't think so. I'm sure he still drinks, though. You stopped drinking. How was Protect Our Parks with no drinking? It was fun. And you're the only one not drinking there. Yeah. But then at some point, aren't you wrangling three...
Yeah. People who are blackout drunk. But it's okay. I've been blackout drunk. I know what it feels like. It's not bad. It's just for health purposes. I was like, I work out so much and I take care of my body. Like, why am I poisoning it all the time? And I said, let me just take a break. I just took a break and I was like, God, why do I need it?
It's like what am I doing like everybody's like do you want a drink? Yeah, let's have a drink But sometimes you're just like what is just like a force of habit You know have a drink every time I do a set have a whiskey have a shot before I go on stage And you feel like you're doing something you feel bored when everyone else is drunk
But it's really no like I have way more energy when I'm not drinking Yeah, I could stay up and like be present like I want to I want to be in bed by 11 o'clock if I'm drinking or smoking weed Dude, I've had three months off and I haven't had one bad day. So I haven't had one day physically
where I feel like shit. That has to be it. Well, the other side is your metabolism. When I stopped drinking, I got really like just an incredible shape. And as you're getting older, like even just like whatever it does to like my metabolism and everybody's different. But it was like a huge difference in terms of how I felt in the gym with how much I could run how much I could lift It's fun. It's fun poison. Yeah, it's fun
It's fun to get a little lit. My doctor said those exact words. He was like, you're poisoning yourself. He was like, it's up to you. If you want to poison yourself a little bit, that's fine. Or a lot. That's okay, too. That guy sounds fun.
Yeah, they were trying to say for a while that, like, one drink a night. Remember they were trying to say for a while that one drink a night is probably good for you? Oh, like a glass of red wine? Yeah. It's good for your heart? You know what the problem with that is? Aura rings.
If you have an aura ring, you wear one of those things, and then you have one drink, you'll notice a difference in your sleep. It's significant. It's real. It's measurable. I try not to track anything that's going to be bad news. Yeah.
They're like, hey, you should get a sleep study. He goes, why did no for a fact that I die 27 times a night? Yeah, isn't there, like, things you could do where you see a doctor and they're going to, like, be able to essentially predict within a couple years of when you're actually going to die? That's the Joe Rogan doctors. Probably. I want to know, Joe, who did you send Bert?
where they come and they put him in that machine like Luke Skywalker on Hoth, and they come out and they're like, if you never eat beans again, you'll live to 105. Bert is going to need more than that. Every time I see him, he looks more like a grape.
Settle down, boy. He's capable of doing it on his own, though. Bert has incredible willpower. If Bert wants to, he can lose a lot of weight. He just drinks so much. It's part of his thing. I feel like he feels like, I shouldn't put words in his mouth, but he's almost like, am I Bert? Chrysler if I'm not getting fucked up and having fun with the fans like that like if he does a show and he doesn't take his shirt off people boo
We fucking paid to see tits! I think he wants to take his shirt off and they want it to come off. 100%. I do too. I love it. I run to the balcony when he's about to take his shirt off. Because there's a big cheer, the pop, when he takes his shirt off. Everybody goes crazy. It's fun when I did a bird's pocket last time I was like something everybody get in your head about like all these complaints are about Bert being the same person that we all are and also who he is
But it's like now it's all of a sudden like, you know, he worries about that shit. And I'm like, Bert, people want you to take your shirt off. And they want to hear your stories about your family. You're letting people... Go like well you don't do it like this person. It's like well you don't tell jokes like Mark Norman Do you know that's not what your thing is so it's not a thing to worry about he reads the comments That's the problem you read the comments. Oh fuck with your head
No matter how mentally strong you are if you're reading a bunch of opinions about you know fuck with your head Yeah, and it's just like the same people who go on to Yelp and write reviews. It's just people that want to complain So when you go into social media, yes, it's just like you get it feels like like I have
pretty decent fan base like Legion of Skanks we have a really like healthy fan base and then there's like 30 dude not healthy not physically healthy there's like 30 dudes who hate me and want my son to die if you go on to Twitter I'll just see that and it does like fuck with you
Yeah, it's all 30 of his followers But there's a lot of crazy people out there and there's also a lot of kids just want to get a rise out of you Right, there's a lot of things going on There's a lot of people that want to fuck with your head, but it's almost all unhappy people unfortunately
Learned out very quickly though like the ones that I have responded to even when I respond like my thing was always to respond kind of funny I'm not getting into fights. Yeah, or so someone write like a Two paragraphs about how terrible I am and I'd be like, you know, come on Jimbo You don't mean it and then how much they write I mean without fail.
almost 100% of the time, they're like, dude, just being a piece of shit, man. I had a crappy day. Love you, dude. Listen every day to whatever. Sometimes you'll see. There's one guy who tweets at me almost every day where he says, Luis J. Gomez has lip fillers, and he's trying to get this. to be a thing, to catch on.
And then like like every day he's trolling me and I'm like this fucking guy and like for maybe two years Louis J Gomez has lip fillers He'll respond to everything other people tweet at me. It's like just so you know You're talking to somebody who has lip fillers I have beautiful Puerto Rican lips this guy showed up
You had a little work dude. He showed up at a show in it was a while for a dude He showed up a show in Raleigh, North Carolina with a t-shirt that said Louis J. Gomez has lip fillers and then I was like
I should bite your fucking nose off your face. What are you doing? But he's just like, I don't know, I'm a fan. Like, it's hilarious. He's just being silly. He's just being silly every day. He's being silly. Yeah. Yeah, that's part of the fun of being a fan. Yeah. You know, if he didn't get a rise out of you, it worked. I noticed. He gotcha.
He's in the front row. He got you. He got you. I steer clear of the comment just because of that. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. I'd rather just meet people. And if they show up, I guess they're famous. They're so sweet in person because Skank Fest is like, half of them are like people who are on Reddit and trolling. And you go to Skank Fest and it is just...
thousands of people that are like, just love. Skankfest particularly, it's like, you know they say how many times in your life have you walked by a murderer? It's like, how many times at Skankfest do I walk by, take a picture, and shake hands with somebody who's like, dude, you used to be good, but you suck dick in comedy now. Alright. You're always going to get guys like that.
There was one guy who was a fan of ours. In the old school, when we were at the Creaking Cave back in New York, there was a dude who used to wear black glasses, long black hair, and he was at every episode. He ended up murdering his mother. Oh, Jesus Christ. Murdering his mother. And then becoming great friends with... Like a jail pen pal with San hope yeah, it's pretty funny. He when he got out
He's out he like lives like a halfway house type thing now because it was a mental issue that he did that Which is like mom clearly if you kill your mom well, you know she might have been a bitch She'd have to do something really bad. Yeah, if you kill your mom I feel like I don't care you obviously have mental issues. Yeah
He had that when he called us he described it It was like it was like he thought she was like a demon that he had to stop before she got out in the world He went he went crazy, but I still feel like you should lock that guy up Absolutely pay attention to the BJ Penn stuff He's he's like losing it right PJ Penn claims that his family are imposters That someone is kidnapped his family replace them. Oh, yeah, that's a very isn't it funny when they hit the With mania and manic shit like that
Bipolar with those kind of things like a really like their textbook if you look it up because I've looked it up before you look it up. It's Texting One sentence at a time. A newfound thing in religion. And being serious about it all of a sudden. It's always been that way. And they always have those things. That's one of them too. Like everyone's fake. Right.
Everyone in my life has been replaced with somebody else. They called something particularly. Some of them think they have a chip in their head and people are talking to them. Yeah, it's very, very... There's a lot of that. A lot of that is they have a chip in their head. Well, this guy who killed his mom and Doug Stano became friends with...
Doug was doing a Zoom skanks one time episode with us, and he had that guy call in. And, you know, we were asking him kind of about what happened, and he just, you know, he gave a very compelling story, and we were saying goodbye to him. He goes, do you remember this?
He goes, I just want to say, you know, when I was going through all that horrible stuff in the last several years that have been so difficult and terrible and my family hating me, but I still always, man, I listen to you guys and laugh, and I just want to say. that i love you guys and i was like well i think i think i speak for the group and i say whew because we all are aware of what you'll do if you feel someone is a problem so yeah or a demon Or possibly a demon. Yeah.
The point is we have some great fans. You guys are doing something really fun. You're getting all the misfits together, you know, and you're celebrating comedy. It's like a real comedy like a comics festival like the comics look forward to it everybody loves it everybody talks so highly of it you know and everybody says the vibe is so fun because they they just go there to see like
You know, people were real upset when Louis C.K. started to come back into the public eye. Yeah. But one of my favorite moments is when he went up at Skankfest. They didn't know he was going to be there. That was the first time he performed in America after he got canceled. It was awesome. Yeah. And it was, I mean, it was wild. And what's beautiful.
About the fans they're educated comedy fans, so we'd even have to tell them to not pull out their cell phones Yeah, not a single person took video not a single person like I watched the video I took that video of Justin Silver and
Announcing gentlemen that's a special guest and I didn't take it any of his set It was just him walking on a stage standing ovation and made TMZ. It was fucking really cool I mean I was I was I was a pig and shit. I went outside. I got emotional I was like that was fucking so cool. That's cool
What's funny about that moment was I was with Soder, Dan Soder, and I was like, I was like, you want to come outside? I'm going to smoke a joint outside. He goes, yeah, sure. And as we were just walking through that room, I wasn't even thinking about it. He goes, oh, you know, we should watch Louie come on real quick. And I'm like, oh, yeah, sure.
Like I didn't overthink of the moment you were about to watch was so crazy It was really it was really cool like that was cool That was like one of the coolest moments at the festival that and then the tough crowd We did a tough crowd reunion at Skankfest in Brooklyn a few years ago having everybody from tough crowd get together. That's awesome. Yeah, Colin.
you know, being at the head of it. That was awesome. That was one of the best shows ever. He should, he should just make it a podcast. It would be a huge podcast. 100%. I wonder if he has the name, if he owns the name. I think he does. But then he should definitely do it. I think he does. I think he just doesn't want to. Well, it might be. something that someone needs to offer it to him and put it together you know like if someone like it could be something if you said it he'd be like
I never even thought of that until this moment. A lot of people have. He's been approached with it. He was great at the club. He was at the club a couple weeks ago. He's awesome. Colin's awesome. He was great. All the comics that worked there, they all lined up. to watch them, you know? I mean, is it real?
He's just such a pro. It's also his material is so interesting. He's such an interesting guy. Well, he does the one-man shows. They're fantastic. The last time I did a tough crowd, he warmed up the crowd. And so he's doing stand-up in front of the crowd. And he was fucking... murdering I'm like this is way better than even tough crowd like he's one of the most underrated guys of all time
You know like all his comics know how funny he is he's like a real comics comic and every case like in the top three for it's like It's like a tell like he's there. It's always like top three for every comedian It was also though that place was like the shark tank though for something when they got oh, yeah that fan
I never felt bad for somebody more in my life when they had him on there. And the only segment that was produced of Tough Crowder, you remember, was the last one. You had to write and give them whatever your little rant was going to be about the final topic. You did it once, right? I did it once. Yeah.
About that final topic. That was the only homework you had to do at all. And that fan was clearly going to do something about his mother and do the voice or something. And Patrice, right before he... I was about to do his fourth segment thing. He goes, hey, let's see if you can do two minutes without doing your mom's accent. Oh, no. And then Voss and all those guys just started pouncing on him. And then he just had to go like, hey, you guys.
So my mother called me. Oh, you had to do it still. That's all we prepared. But it was like an OG podcast. Before podcasting was podcasting, just a bunch of comics sitting around, just barking at each other, arguing. So fun. It was fun. Way ahead of its time.
But then again, like Regis and Kathie Lee was a podcast technically too. Technically, if you really think about it. Yeah, The View, all these shows. I think Opie and Anthony was the big start of it all. Yeah, for sure. That was what started it off for me because that was the first time I was ever on a show where there was no structure.
It was just comics. Shoot the shit, yeah. We all could be on Opie and Anthony, we'd be having this exact same conversation except Norton and Kumia and Opie would be here. Same fucking conversation. Yeah. It was just, they would let you go. I was more of a Howard Stern guy. I know so were you.
But without Opie and Anthony like shows like Legion of Skanks wouldn't exist like that's the truth Like we also there's a lot of fans that are just like just these 50 year old truckers They're just like we need something and our generation was having a much harder time like It wasn't like back in the day when Stern was Howard Stern was bringing on comics all the comics because that was like his Crew he was trying to build up like we were past that so we had no there was no like show
that was like that for anybody, except for Opie and Anthony. I was Ron and Fez. You remember Ron and Fez's show? Sure, yeah, yeah. That's the show that kind of took me in, that I jobbed with best. Yeah. And that was a lot of fun. Ron Bennington's fucking great. He's hilarious. He's the best. So funny. Yeah, there's like...
you know there's a whole you could track like like ancient man you know like prehistoric you could track podcasts to where it is but it's like how about mark maron just quitting i know crazy he's done he's hanging it up Not fun anymore. Yeah, but like Opie and Anthony, what they did different than Stern was they put comics on. There was a few comics that would come on Stern. They would interview. They were megastars. Opie and Anthony figured out they could put three or four comics in a room.
Create like a beautiful chaos and it was gonna be people bouncing off each other You'd create these moments that nobody knew was gonna happen really cool Stern did not believe in that I'll take a cigar I love a good cigar Yes, Stern's thing now is for comics. Oh Stern sucks now. Now it has to be I know it's really it's funny like I was one of the last people to check out
Yeah, you like to start way too late. I still, listen, I still arbitrarily just go to it and I think he's the best that ever did it. I think he, I give him all the kudos in the world. Without him, there would be nothing. None of it. I give him all the kudos in the world. It's just, I think the... Like I don't think I think his last like phase here might be like I might be weirdly too young for it like possibly thank you
The interviews don't really strike me anymore. He's not going to get to anything that I care about with Sarah Jessica Parker. I remember back in the day, he made one of those guys who died from LFO. Remember that song from the 90s? What is that like? Chinese food makes me sick. Girls of Summer?
I don't know what that is. You're a real cigar guy. Look at you. You know how to burn before you light. It's a one hit. It's a one hit wonder. I don't remember it at all. They were like around the same time as all the boy bands. And they got pretty popular. And he made one of those guys.
So interesting you got him to talk about fucking Jennifer Love Hewitt and then her dumping him and the way he found that he was dumped like She gave him a ring that was like a promise ring from her to him and then he saw Her and like a tabloid walking with another guy and the guy had the same exact rate. That's just her ring. She gives out She's a wild girl. Yeah giving out rings of dudes She fucking aged like a goddamn plum though. She looks like shit. Oh, no. It looks like shit now
I feel bad saying this is too big of a platform to be really trashing a girl for not being pretty anymore. It's fucked up. Back off of that. This is the way to do it. You'll feel better if you don't say it. Hillary Clinton. No. I mean, no. Pamela Anderson. I mean god damn it. Did she fall off? She was the hottest woman wearing makeup. She put it back on again. It didn't help a lot. I will say No, she was
Pamela Anderson. First of all, the documentary about her they did on Netflix a couple years back. Jay loves the documentary. Love them. The one they did about her on Netflix. He won't read a book, but he'll watch a documentary all day long. Books. Who's got time for books?
But the thing about her made me like her. The one about Anna Nicole Smith made me realize what a piece of shit she was. I mean, terrible person it seemed like. And then Pam Anderson made me kind of like fall in love with her again where I'm like, this is a... She really is just like a dummy who just believes in...
Love yeah, just like a sucker. Yeah, I should a couple moments where she talked about like during the me too movement She was like look she was like I got invited to every hotel room by every director in Hollywood She was like I didn't go because I knew what the fuck they wanted
And she just kind of had a very real opinion on that whole sort of movement and what was going on. It's like, you know what's happening if you go to a hotel room with some fucking powerful guy? Like, you know, you have to take a certain amount of accountability yourself. And she had a very real take on it, which I kind of.
Respected well Hollywood a long history doing that Tarantino was telling me about this old-school director that had a bedroom in his office and his name was Quentin Tarantino We talked about that right where he he in Desperado was it or Where he's like that's Dave always yeah, he's like I'm gonna I'm gonna have Salma Hayek shove her foot in somebody's mouth You know what I think it'll be
I'll take that. I'm not going to put George Clooney through the sweet sensation of sucking Salma Hayek's beautiful foot. God, she was hot on that team. He played such a good serial killer in that fucking movie. That was great. I just watched it. weeks ago again. He was such a good psycho. I prefer Black Dust Till Dawn called Sinners. I don't think Dust Till Dawn had enough of enough social commentary. I thought Sinners was great.
I didn't see it. I thought it was really good, dude. People try to politicize everything. I'm like, it's just a fun vampire movie. Who cares? Yeah, you don't like a good vampire movie? Is it politicized? I love a good vampire movie. Kind of, yeah. They were saying it's like an attack on white culture. The annoyance of politicizing. vampires were like white and they were like feasting on black people and
Which, you know, black people would be more delicious. Yeah, dark meat. But you very rarely, other than Blade, you very rarely get a black vampire. Yeah. Sweet or the juice. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you remember Blackula? Blackula, yes. You remember Blackula? It had to be a comedy. No, it was a fucking movie. No, but it's like a...
It's a black exploitation, right? It's supposed to be ridiculous. I think it was a horror movie. I think it was a legit horror movie. It was just a black vampire. Do you know Blackula? Yeah, there it is. Blackula, I found this out from that Pee Wee Herman documentary. Blackula was the mailman on Pee Wee's Playhouse. For real? Yeah. Really? Isn't that weird? Phil Hartman was on Pee Wee's Playhouse. Died hating him.
What? Phil Hartman did? What are you talking about? He hated Pee Wee Herman when he died. No. Yeah. What makes you say that? That's a thing in the documentary. Phil Hartman hated Pee Wee Herman? Phil Hartman did an interview with Howard Stern. Howard Stern asked him about that, and he was like, yeah, we don't speak anymore. Oh, wow. He thought he didn't get enough credit, I think, for Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
and shit. Oh, that's unfortunate. Yeah. That's weird. Pee Wee Herman was a real bitchy queen, but very interesting. Phil was easy to get along with. Like, Phil was... Ask his wife. He was easy for me. I got along with him great. Andy Dick there was the problem. He was fun, man. He was just too wild, you know, but I did so many scenes with that dude where we had to do him like three or four times because I couldn't stop laughing. I just couldn't.
Stop breaking character. It's more just like sad what he's going through now. Yeah, it's not good But he also just gets like he's one of those guys like letting himself get used by people I assume for drugs or something But I mean like I don't know cuz he ends up on these like weird pods where it's like he's sleeping at some guy's house
Or something weird. It's not good. Yeah, he's out of it He was right there on the precipice with jury duty Pauly Shore's vehicle jury duty, right? He did other stuff too man. He did that that fucking war movie what was the war movie they did oh in the army now that's right yeah yeah i think that's the one he did i don't know if he may have done another one or two of them they may have been trying to farley spade them Farley spayed them together. He's a funny dude, though.
Do you have hopes for Happy Gilmore 2? Could it possibly be good? Yeah. Adam Sandler still makes good stuff. Comedy? Yeah, he does. Those Netflix ones were good. They were funny. They're pretty good. Like Hubie, Halloween or something. They're funny, man. They're funny. They're pretty good.
If you like Adam Sandler movies, I love Adam Sandler movies. I love silly movies. Like, I loved the one when he played his own sister. What was that one? Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill's fucking hilarious. And Al Pacino's in love with her. And she's a brute.
It's it's fucking fun. I understand the rules. He's a great actor and I mean happy Gilmore was so great But I almost feel like there's no way this was second was gonna be it's just I think they're gonna try to do too many throwback moments This would do what it was a movie. They they kind of did that with fucking uh like this coming to america part two yeah like they're just like that was terrible
That was actually fucking terrible. And Coming to America, I grew up on. First of all, they made it PG-13. The original Coming to America was rated R. They made it a musical. They put music numbers in it. It was bad. But I have... Look, I will watch it. Beetlejuice people loved. I didn't like that. Same thing. I thought it was like... Yeah. You can't capture that first one. I thought Beetlejuice was pretty good. The new one. Did you? I thought it was pretty good. Yeah. I liked it.
It wasn't as good as the first one, but it's pretty good. I fucking loved it. The Soul Train, when they got on the Soul Train, it was all dead, like... resurrected black people dressed in like 1970s outfits dancing. Have you seen it? I kept on falling asleep. I keep on turning it on and falling asleep 20 minutes into it. Well, it's good, man. It's pretty solid.
I mean, it is one of those Tim Burton movies. It's just like a fun, weird fucking movie. I loved the first one, man. I didn't know Tim Burton made the first Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
Did he really? First Tim Burton movie. Oh, that makes sense with Large Marge. I forgot to tell him. Large Marge. That looked like the girl we brought to the UFC event in Philly. Remember? If they would have called her that, we still would have kept our heads down. Large Marge. She is large. Fuck. Bro, Pee Wee's Playhouse was so...
So fun. Or Pee Wee's Big Adventure, rather. It was so fun. Pee Wee's Playhouse was trippy. I didn't even know that. That's how, like, weird. Like, Pee Wee's Playhouse was meant to be, like. One of these bikes was for sale recently. Well. How much did it go for? Well. Guess. I'll let you guess. $100,000. It went for more than that. $500,000. No, it was $135,000. Wow. There's 14 bikes, and it was one of them that was posted. It had no seat on it.
It was a fun movie, man. Yeah. I went to see that with a girl I was dating in high school, and we were like the only people in the movie theater. It was like one of them lucky moments. We were just fucking howling, howling, laughing. The whole thing was always to have nods for adults in it. What year was that? It was totally like an anybody's movie. It wasn't just like a kid's movie. It was an anybody movie. It was a fun movie. I was being a kid watching it being like...
What's the fucking deal here? Big Top Pee Wee, it was just always a little bit weird. Well, Big Top Pee Wee, that was his, he tried to do it himself, and that's why that did terribly. Oh, really? Because, again, there's jokes in there no one gets. I forgot this. I saw it once when it first came out, never saw again. He's got a...
Make out scene with somebody that just goes on for like five straight. They just never stop Having to make out and just panning further and further backwards in the middle of the movie Maybe when I was older, I think I would have gotten it. He said a lot of Andy Warhol-inspired stuff in reference. There was an episode of Pee-wee's Big Adventure or Pee-wee's Playhouse where he said two minutes, he just...
put dog food in a bowl, and it was just like ASMR, a close-up of a dog just eating the food for like two straight minutes, which that would have weirded me out when I was a kid. Yeah. For sure. It was a lot of just, whatever it was, it was just a little bit off.
He got rolled up in one of the most bullshit cases ever. Oh, what, he got caught jerking off in the theater? He got caught jerking off in a gay movie theater. Where are you supposed to jerk off? What are you supposed to do? That didn't ruin him. That didn't ruin him the way he thought like that. In fact, I thought it was interesting. When he did...
His first comeback was that Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie. And he asked him to make his character look like his mugshot. That's why he looks like that. That's funny. They made him look like Charles Manson. Did you watch it, Jamie? No, I saw clips of it. I was really into it. Didn't it get a show canceled? No, the show was already done. Okay. The show was already done. But he was out for a while. Then he was in Blow. He was in that. No, he came back. He had a career comeback. Derek for real.
After that, what took him down was, because I thought you were saying he got caught up in the biggest bullshit. He was caught up in that sweep that got Jeffrey Jones. What's that? That was the principal from Ferris Bueller.
That guy got nailed with actual child pornography. Oh. And Pee Wee Herman was friends with him, so they went and searched Pee Wee's house. And what they found, he's a collector. He's a crazy collector. Who's found a big couch that can talk? Yeah. A bunch of naked kids inside of it.
No, you don't understand. I don't fuck them. It eats them. No, he had like erotica from like the 70s in collections that was like, and everyone was above age, but it just like, it was considered obscene material. Oh no. When they went to his house. Where was he living? California, I believe. Erotica. Obscene erotica. He got nailed with obscene material charges, but he was lumped in with pedophilia. The charge here is a little worse than that. What is it?
Pleaded no contest in L.A. court to charges of hiring a 14-year-old boy to pose for photographs. To pose for photographs? They leave that out of the documentary, I feel like. They didn't put that in the documentary. Look at Jay defending an actual pedophile. I'm just saying he was a good guy.
You gotta take care of those documentaries. Oh, man. Child porn was not part of the deal. Joe, the first time we did your podcast when you showed us all of your cool toys in your L.A. studio, I would have sucked your dick to do one of those things. Which toys? Like your... Compound Bo. I've told this story so many times on podcasts. That's the first time we came here. It ends so great. Because me, Dave, and Lewis all came in in L.A. And you took us first and you go, check this out.
And you grabbed the compound bow, and you had the laser sight, and you could shoot it all the way across the full UFC gym. It looked so cool. We were all just warming our hands up. We're like, we can't wait till we can do this. Then you put the bow down as I was reaching for it, I thought. And then you went over, you go, this is the pool.
You broke a rack and sunk a few like cool. Then you open the door and you're like, here's where I freeze myself. Here's where I throw myself out Wow, and then you go and here's my prize possession and you had They do it for golf and stuff too, like the Kevlar screen hunting. Yeah. And you had the flat tip. But I go, he probably wants us to do this one because it's the flat tips. No one's going to get hurt. And then you fucking whale two elk. And then you go.
Let's go podcast, boys. He just showed us all the toys and was like, don't touch them, please. The problem with those toys is I can't teach you that quickly to use them. We're going to embarrass ourselves. We would have embarrassed ourselves big, but then we always say like, how much Dave Smith came on, like, talks with you after that individually. Me and Lewis were like, why doesn't Joe embrace us the way he embraces Dave? And then someone brought up the first picture we ever took here.
It's so funny. It's the werewolf. I am standing behind the werewolf like I'm fucking it. I'm getting sucked off. Lewis is acting like he's getting sucked off by the bear. And Dave is just leaning in, touching it, going... Oh, you know what respect That's hilarious He keeps going back.
Dave has his hand on the head gently. Yeah. Is Dave in the Rogan sphere? We're trying to figure out how we get in the Rogan sphere. My ochre sphere is more. Look, first of all, Shane doesn't need the Rogan sphere anymore. Let's just move Shane out. Move Big Jay into that position. Doesn't require the Rogan sphere at all.
Fucking Thailand or something. He's gone. I'm ready. I'm a wacky guy. I'll shave half my head. Ari's going to do a stint over there and bail. Agreed. I'm going to talk to him. I'm going to call him up every day. Fuck that place. I'm going to call him up, plant it in his head. I think we got Diaz. come in here oh it's austin yeah that's great yeah he's we talked about it this weekend i saw him in jersey for the fights
Joey's the man. So he's back in the sphere. Fuck. Yeah. Come on, bro. There's plenty of room for you guys. You're in the sphere right now. You're on the show. Every time the Rogan sphere gets talked about, we never get a thing. When Cat Williams said six unfunny comics. We knew it wasn't us. I knew it wasn't us. I would have been happy to be one of the six unfunny comics.
What was it? Cat probably has a point. But when I was trying, he thought I wouldn't have him on. I'm like, bro, I love you. He's so funny. I couldn't wait to have him on right away. I'm like, I've reached out to him right away. I go, that's not true. I just haven't reached out to you because I didn't know if you wanted to.
to do it. Sure. Like, I didn't know he wanted to do it. If I thought he wanted to do it, I would have had him on a long time ago. He's an interesting story. He might be one of my favorite stand-ups to watch a special of, because I have a hard time laughing at on-TV specials. Pimp Chronicles? Dude, he's fucking so funny. I'm not gonna lie. I need subtitles for it
But I don't know what he's saying I know Cat Williams is very very funny Pym Chronicles is a masterpiece. It's a masterpiece. He's so good Something about him when he's cooking to when he's cooking when he's like really on fire is different than everybody else. He's sweating and, you know, his fucking hair is throwing back and just the tone of his voice and the way he repeats punchlines. It's like that guy gets cooking, man. He gets cooking and you're like, you watch the...
They're just falling out of the chairs. He does really long sets too, right? He does like an hour and a half. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a beast. He's a beast. He's a wild boy. At least. He was on a drive too. I put him on the driving simulator. He fucking killed it. Oh, I always see him on world star hip-hop. He beats like pro athletes and races and shit all the time. I believe it
It's very weird. Yeah. And he talks about it. He still, what's funny is he also dresses though like the old black guy who comes to play basketball. So it looks like he's not going to be that good. And then he's like fast as shit. Remember when you got beat up by a teenager? Do you remember that? He did. That's the funniest thing in the world when he goes, watch this. This is him in a room. racing simulator. By the way, he's doing it one hand. Give me some volume.
That's when you're having to fight that competition off that corn. Cold. How accurate is the simulator? Pretty fucking good. It's got gravity. It turns you side to side. It has crazy noises. It feels like you're really driving. And how do we do it like this? Because we do this in real life. If he was driving Uber, he'd be making a personal phone call right now.
The roads, the highways, and the byways of America that allow you to do this. So he can drive. He looks terrified. No, he looks like he's on it, man. Yeah, it's hard. It's not a game. No, the steering wheel reacts as if your tires would react at high speeds. It's on a racetrack. You guys ever do a racetrack? You ever drive on a racetrack? No. I can't drive 35 miles an hour on a regular road. I do believe in full truck.
Burt's tour, one of the things we performed at a racetrack, and they had the pace car. It was like a convertible. And they took us all for like a couple loops, right, like individually. One of the time they wanted us to film it. And mine was so boring. because I was like smiling, it was exhilarating the whole time, but they were like, you know, Burt's giving them and people are going like, no, no, no, no, no, like the corners are coming, and they were like, you didn't freak out at all, I go.
I just had blind trust they're not gonna kill us like right like are they gonna put us in real like Are we gonna start cartwheeling down the fucking road here this I assume they're not gonna do anything. They don't know how to do perfectly This is why Bert's famous, because Bert's fun, and he reacts big, and you just sat there like... I was just like, this was neat.
Nobody wants to watch that. I know screaming and fucking yelling and crying about your daughter My daughter don't worry about what people want. Yeah, I can't scream at that I gave you remember when the first time you guys did my nails on the show I freaked out. Oh, yeah touching my cuticles and now we get some done now He gets his nails painted by our Asian lady every week. Oh now you have to once it's get done every other week
I'm not a diva. Is that a thing you feel connected to? Like you have to keep doing that now? Yes. Is that a Burt Kreischer take your shirt off thing? Oh, no, no, no. Not like that. No, it's more like connected to... Somehow gayer. No, it's a gayer thing. No, it's connected to I bit my nails forever.
Got my teeth fixed. Can't bite my nails anymore. They grew in raggedy. I tried to take care of it myself and was just terrible at it. They got my nails on the show one time. As a bit, because if you just did this to Jay...
Look, if you show him you're pulling your cuticle back, he'll freak out for some reason. It's a weird thing. So we had an Asian lady come in, and we warned her. We were like, listen, the type of show, the jokes we're going to make, she was so cool. She barely spoke any English, but she was such a fun time. And she did his nails on the show, and he screamed like a girl the whole time. I didn't scream. It was more like that, like, pull away. I did not enjoy it.
Yeah, and then it became a thing where every week after that he came in with a new color nails every other week But it's the keep saying every week. I'm not a gay man No, but once they were done then yeah once you can't really undo it I don't know what to do now. I can't take care of him that good myself. I can't make him look like that. Just go get it done. Who gives a fuck? Yeah. If that's what you like. Yeah.
Everybody's got their own quirks, Louis. Leave him alone. Yeah, Louis, you chose to have nipple rings to connect. I have one or had one nipple ring. I can't believe you actually had one. I was kidding. I had one. Did they connect like Xerxes? No, no. I had a nipple ring. I had a lip ring. Like by wearing isn't the funniest thing you had all those things when you're like now you my body sucks. Yeah
It was so you look sexy in tank tops. I was so bad dude. Just a fat kid with a nipple ring for no reason. Why'd you get it done? I don't know. I just wanted to, I like tattoos and piercings and shit. I was young. I was surprised though. I kept From being fat my whole life also I kept my tattoos always to arms
I never did ones that I would have to take my shirt off for people to see. Yeah, I wouldn't do a stomach tattoo. No, but you had like here. I have my chest tattoo. It says on my own. I got it when my mom died. It says on my own? On my own. I know, isn't that ironic for a guy who owns a company and has a thousand friends?
Collaborates with people and everything he does he's on his own. Well, he says on this side a coattail rider You figured out early on though that the best way to not get pulled off a shit is to have your own network though Yeah, like kumia did that you guys did that
What's funny is we were going like for a few years it almost seemed like pointless because Patreon got so big. But then with censorship with YouTube and all these other platforms, now there's never been a better time for it. Like we have an uncensored version of the show, an ad-free version of the show.
We can say anything we want YouTube hunts us every time we get close to that plaque We've had our four YouTube channels taken down in the 90 in the 90 something thousands of subscribers because Christ they just start reviewing it then they're like No, no way. What gets pulled? What's it about? Most of the time it's actually our fucking dumb producers leaving in like nudity and shit like that.
YouTube relaxes moderation rules to allow more controversial content. Oh, this is today. Freedom of expression value may outweigh harm risk. That's great. I love that. Good for YouTube. Fuck yeah. It is changing a little bit, which is... Swings right podcast I was listening to the other day, and I was like how is this Cory's wild he's so funny all the words all the words You're not allowed to say like so we bleep out like all the no-no words right this includes discussions of
elections, ideologies, movements, race, gender, sexuality, abortion, immigration, and censorship. Beautiful. We're back. Not remove anything considered to be in the public interest. Oh, dude. Interesting. Oh, abortion, too. So we could do that abortion now on the air. We've been putting that bit off for years. That would be a great bit. Early term. Everything that you can discuss is in the public interest, though. That's, you know.
i'm glad they changed it to that that's a great way of designing it like Jokes like specific like I got I got my um on Instagram right now They I can't go live or advertise an Instagram for a year Because I was talking about a bit that I did on my first special on Dan Soder's podcast about how I would get free cocaine in Mexico. I went up the beach and like I would get samples of cocaine. I just told the story about actually doing it and they flagged it and said we were promoting...
Like the sales of drugs. And I'm fucking fucked for a year now. Jesus Christ over it's like literally a joke. I'm just you didn't put up the number of the dealer though No, no, but that's what I did I would go up and down the beach and I'd get a free sample of cocaine I go to the next guy get another free sample of cocaine go to the next guy and I do that
All night until they caught on there when we were the leader of the cartel Yeah, they can get you for Rico charges now Yeah, that was a the Cabo Comedy Festival the shittiest comedy festival ever like a decade ago Cabo Comedy Festival at the end of the night. I fucked like a 70 year old woman She was gross. Still hotter than the girl we brought to the UFC in Philly. Was she? No.
You've hooked up with a couple of hilarious ones old ladies. Yeah, just like oh shit I think on ship rocks one year you hooked up with a fucking doozy. Oh, yeah She had like a really thick smokers voice Say come to my cabin You're a little bit locked in on a cruise, especially a heavy metal cruise. Oh, yeah. Heavy metal from the 90s. There's no hot chicks on those cruises. Heavy metal cruise. Yeah. We did a thing called Shiprock. I've done it a bunch.
Dude, I was watching this documentary today on the Black Sea where all those cargo ships wind up sinking. Have you ever seen ships going across the Black Sea? It's apparently the most dangerous part of the ocean to cross. For Lewis, where's the Black Sea? Because I see his eyes are crossing. I think it's across the top of the UK.
I'm not exactly sure, but I watched this documentary about watching these fucking cargo ships get nailed by these monster waves. I'm like, imagine being on a fucking cruise ship and some shit like that. Oh my God, it's terrifying, dude. A renegade wave goes sideways. That's the Black Sea. So where's that at?
Turkey? See if you can find some videos of cargo ships getting fucked up on the Black Sea. It's crazy. The ocean's scary in general. I've been surfing before and I'm just not good at it. You feel the power of the fucking ocean. I've done those cruise ships enough to be like, it's just, if you go off that boat, you're as good as dead. They won't stop. Look at this. It snapped the cargo ship in two. The wave was so big, it snapped this fucking ship in half.
Fuck that And this is nothing compared to some of the waves I've seen some of the waves are fucking bananas Apparently if you fall off a cruise ship they can't stop the ship. Look at this shit. Look at this shit This...
Fuck that. If you fall off a cruise ship, they can't turn around and get you. There's more death by fire a year by sea. No, they have to like call the Coast Guard or whatever to come and find you, but you're dead. They give you coordinates that mean nothing. Yeah, they throw some fucking donuts.
out to you and you know that's it there's no to find the donuts in the ocean the ocean's fucking floppy the worst part of that for me is that if I fell off I'm holding on to a donut and hearing the sounds of Tesla slowly slink away They're doing acoustic signs shit Take pictures you bitch Yeah, there's a there's a cargo ship that's on fire right now in
I forget which ocean, but it's filled with EVs. And apparently one of them caught fire in the middle of the ocean. That's why you can't put fucking electric cigarettes in your... Fucking suitcase. Right. Same thing. I pay attention to none of those rules. Remember when those Samsung phones were lighting people's cars on fire? Indian Coast Guard battles massive fire and container ship listed off Corella. I don't think this is the one. It's in India? There's another one, Jamie, that is...
That's UVs. It's all UV cars. Isn't there theoretically people in some of those cargo things? Cargo ship carrying UVs on fire. Or EVs, sorry, EVs. Is that just the wire or is that how they get people over sometimes? There's people sometimes in those cargo things? Oh yeah, no, that's real. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. So that's filled with electric cars. I wonder whose cars they are.
It just says EVs. If it was Teslas, it would say cargo ship filled with Teslas. They would throw Elon onto the bus for sure. Yeah, I'm not sold in the electric car. They're great when they work. It's just like... If you have them plugged into your house, it's the shit. You never go to the gas station. You just plug it in when you go to sleep at night. It's easy. I think you need your car to be more reliable than your phone.
Well, they're really reliable. The thing is about driving them like Tesla's, they never fuck up. I've had three of them. I've never had a problem. Really? Yeah, nothing. I had one problem with a windshield wiper motor. It was simple. Do you get rid of them because it's time? It's a lease. I get a lease. So you get a new one, yeah. Okay, so it's not like, you're not like, shit, this thing's starting to clear out. No.
No, well, they make them better every three years. When do they peter out? What's the death of a Tesla? Good question. You can get them, you know, that are many years old. It's just their batteries degrade slightly over time. So, like, if it...
first comes from the factory with 340 miles you know after like five six seven eight years it's probably got 280 miles or something like that you know so that's all just efficiency kind of goes yeah but but for driving around town like if you're just taking it to commute
It's easy. You just plug it in when you go to bed at night. You don't ever have to go to the gas station again. Silent. They move faster than anything you've ever driven. I mean, how quickly do you get a return on investment? Because the amount of money you're saving gas has to be like... I don't know about that. I'm wondering about the miles things. That's what I'm saying. I remember like...
When I was a kid, and you remember this too, they would say, oh, Hondas are the best because you can get 200-some thousand miles, 300,000 miles. I don't think that even exists anymore that a car is supposed to. Toyotas.
Yeah, you buy a Tacoma, those motherfuckers will last forever. The reason I got the Acura was because... Last forever. Yeah, my buddy, really, Nick Rochefort, shout out Nick Rochefort, great comic, and he... he was like dude trust me he was like get an acura he was like it'll last 250 000 miles i'll give it to my kid when he graduates high school like my friend matt farah had a lexus with a million miles on it
That was the other option too. He said get a Lexus or an Acura. Those are the two that have the greatest resale value and also just the shelf life of the car. I've got a Ram and a Jeep. America. America. Fuck yeah. And we laugh at Toyota Tacomas. Get that little stupid rice burner out of here.
I've had a couple of those Lexus SUVs, the 570s. Fucking great car. Great. Comfortable as shit. Big. It's so smooth. Never fucks up. They never have problems. Don't buy an Audi. I'll tell you that much. Why?
I just totaled my Audi, and it was- It wasn't the Audi's fault. It was a fender bender. It was literally a fender bender. That fender was going, dude. That fender was softened up by all the other fender benders. I was like, for sure, this is just an easy repair. They came, they're like, yeah, this is totaled. Each headlight is- like five thousand dollars it's insane how much is your car worth
The car was, I bought it at $70,000 when it was new. And then... How long ago was this? I had it for four years. And then it depreciated in value to like $25,000. And the damage was like $22,000. Wow. Yeah, well most of that was to take off the airbrushing you put on the side you poor Dumbass That's fucked. It was crazy. I was like I was so bummed
You know what's a really great value if you want to get a car? Get like a Mercedes S-Class. Sure. From like five, six years ago. I'm going to make a call. Still amazing. Honey, Mercedes S-Class, order it for me. No, the old ones. An old car? Yeah, you can get them from like 10 years ago, and they're fucking awesome, but they're super cheap. But they're so well engineered, they'll never break. But for like less than like an Accord, a brand new Accord, you can get...
an S-Class from a while ago. Well, I thought about that. Is it possible to get like an old car? Is there such thing as a brand new old engine? What do you mean like what so could you buy a brand new? 2019 car like what do they do with that one? I'm talking about like can you get like a 1997 Mustang and then somehow get a new
that kind of motor in it. Oh, 100%. Like no computer, none of that shit in it. Just like the one you could fix yourself. You definitely can. Brand new. Yeah, there's companies that'll do that for you. For sure. They'll make a car with a carburetor, the whole deal. Most of them don't, though. Most of them use a crate engine. So what they'll do is they'll take an old car, like a 68 Mustang, and they put a Coyote 5.0 in it, like a modern Ford 8.
Cylinder coyote engine in it. Yeah, the new ones. So it has like an ECU it has like what was like this little motherboard like you program it, you know Electronic fuel injection. I used to have a Grand Cherokee that when I got out of the car sometimes
To start it, I learned I had to get a hammer and hit a certain part of the engine and then it would start. I think it was the starter, possibly. You had to clank it. And it did start. Why did I just get a new starter? Why did you hit it with a hammer? It just broke. This is way back in the day, too. So I got the car from, it was one of those, what do you call it, the auctions. They repoed cars and shit like that. So it was a piece of shit. But I would...
Clanking get a start. There's just nothing when you open up You could have a car for a year at this point a brand new car open it up and it looks brand new because it's not It's barely engine parts, right? It's mostly computers like a big Plastic covering over a computer essentially right you can't work on it when you say when you bring it in and go Hey, it's having a problem. They go Did the light go this happened me last the light went away, so the lights not on anymore, but it was there
They could plug it in and find that there was a light that came on at some point, but they can't do anything to it if it's not happening. You know what I mean? There's not a thing where it's like there's this clicking. It's probably a belt. Those days are over, I think. Oh, really? I think so. Hmm. They seem confused by... You're going to Bad Mechanics, maybe. It's the dealership. Oh, okay. So they probably have everything connected to a computer program.
And the computer program talks to the computers in the car. I think that's what you have to do with everything now. It's no more like, we knew our, my mom, Chuck and Larry. No, not Chuck and Larry. That's the gay guys that got married. Chuck and Al.
Where, like, my mom's too, like, now I think about it, too. She probably fucked Chuck or Al. Probably both of them. Your mom? My mom really threw the puss around to make sure we had what we needed when we were younger. Not like in a prostitution way. Good lady. Yeah, it was a good lady. But Chuck and Al.
Was always our car mechanics like for our car just you know They can't even be in business anymore with cars now. Well, there's a lot of people that still have old cars. They want to get them fixed up There's a lot of people that really just like driving analog old cars But not enough for the amount of auto shops there are. But don't you hate when it's a really famous guy? Who's the famous guy who drives an old pickup truck?
Yeah, I think Jimmy Butler the athlete but I just feel like he's doing it to be like cool It's like, bro, you don't need to drive an old-ass truck. I'll tell you, Post Malone showed up to a Shane show in a fucking muddy, shitty, big tires truck, and I believed him. Does that make sense? When he got out of it, I was like...
Yeah, this thing he's also got a Lamborghini and a fucking You know, I was country friends or his black rap friends. He's got one of those Raptors with six wheels. Yeah Yeah, that's his Christian Bills same Toyota Tacoma since 2003
It just bugs me for some reason. They're bulletproof. Keeps it clean. Yeah, it's clean. It's not raggedy. But those things last forever, man. They really last forever. It's like if you wanted a car that's going to last forever that you can buy right now, get a Toyota Tacoma. They're fucking bulletproof. They're so good.
Yeah, they just re-released one of these old-timey-looking trucks, and it's like vintage. I think that's going to be another thing that starts happening. It's like vintage-looking cars that are brand new. Toyota did? I don't know if it's Toyota or another. It's a pickup truck that's coming out that looks like an old pickup truck, but it's brand new. You look like a jerk-off, though, if you bought the novelty car of the time. Anyone who's still rocking a fucking one of those, like, Union Jack?
Little like Mini Coopers or something, you'd be an asshole. A Fiat, you'd be an asshole. Do you remember the PT Cruiser in the early 2000s, late 90s, where they were like, hey, everyone likes that ZZ Top car. Let's make a...
very cheap version of that. My mom had a Dodge Neon. That was maybe the shittiest car that's ever been mass produced. Oh, I had a Dodge Neon. You had to at some point. It was 14 bucks. Dude, I think it was $10,000, $100 a month, no money down. Like, this was like the cheapest. It was such a piece of shit. I think two companies ended up making it. Oh, really? I think it switched at one point from like Dodge to something. Yeah. Remember the Yugo? It's so weird. Yeah. Yugos. Or a Datsun.
Was it was you go from Yugoslavia? Is that who made it? Is that why it's called the Yugo? It was a garbage little car. It's amazing how many cars I've been in that are now defunct. They don't even make me with Mercury's sables and shit like that, but I have no Trust or belief in a brand new like car that comes out. Well Saturn doesn't exist anymore. Saturn was like a brand that everybody had back in the 90s. I trust Hyundai now. Do not trust Kia. Hasn't been long enough for some reason.
I don't know why that one sticks with Genesis. That's Hyundai. That's Hyundai's Lexus version. You know, their high-end luxury version. It's fucking really good, man. Oh, because Lexus is Toyota. Yugoslavian. Yeah, Hugo's Yugoslavian. That was a garbage. Yeah, I knew that from delivering auto parts. That car was like five dollars Cost more for gas than the car. What did you take your driver's test in?
Oh, man, I wish I could remember. I think I took it in my mom's Barracuda. My mom had a 1970 Barracuda when I was in the case. I think Hums. Oh, it was fun. I was in a stick shift Chevette. My mom's white stick shift. You had to learn how to drive That's good though to learn how to drive and do a driver's test on a stick like you really know how to drive your kid It is one it is one of those feelings though where you're like
Even my daughter, I'm like, it's a good skill to have driving stick and then she'll never be in a world where it will ever be necessary. It was fun though. I had an Audi Fox. That was my first stick shift car. All my muscle cars when I was a kid were all automatics, but I had an Audi Fox. It was this cool little fucking front-wheel drive, shitty 1973 car. It was great, though.
Like, little four-cylinder. It was, like, the first car that I had that was little, that can, like, move around. I was like, this thing's fun. And, like, learning how to shift. Everything today is just – you're barely connected to what you're driving. You feel like the shifting is – the steering is electric. Everything is smooth. Back then, you felt the cars. Yeah, that's gone. Well, that's why people like to drive old cars still.
I like to feel them, you know? Yeah, if I had the money, I would get something. That's why I said I asked about if you could do a new engine in a car. You have money. There's so many cars I missed. You could get a car with a nice engine. No. You literally have two brand new cars. You're not going to lease. You're not going to fix it yourself. You're not going to fix it yourself. Never. So then find a mechanic.
Know that you trust find you know ask around get a relationship with this mechanic and get a fucking cool Same way your mom did though not that way well if I could Do you have a car, Louis? Usually something for your child. Maybe the dream changes. When I was a kid. Jaguar, the one with the actual hood ornament that was a Jaguar. I looked it up a couple years ago. I wanted to get like an old-school Jaguar SJ6 or something or whatever it was. Early 90s.
Yeah, early 90s. They were the coolest cars ever. And I looked it up recently and I found one for like nine grand. Like just it looked great. And then I was going to buy it. And then a friend of mine was like, dude, you literally to get anything fixed on that car is crazy. You'll never find the parts like it's just you're just.
That is a tough one. When I was young, the one that the cool kids had, that you're like, damn, I wish I had that, was that boxy-looking Mustang 5.0. oh that was the one with the vanilla ice one the convertible yeah that's the exact one they put rims on it and the convertible and that one just that was the one but when i was talking about it changing When I was a little kid, this was one of the most hurtful, fat comments ever in my life. When I was like...
Dude, when I get older, I want to get a Mazda Miata. That's going to be a fucking roller skate on your fat body. I was like, okay. Well, I guess I'll get past the Miata. And now sometimes you see one on the road still, and I still go...
It's pretty cool looking. You ever seen those Miatas that they do conversions with they put a V8 in them Yeah, there was a company called flying Miata and they sold it to another company that's in Florida that does it now I don't know what the name of it is, but they take a regular Miata
and they stuff a big fucking aluminum GM crate engine in it. And it's got like 500 horsepower. It's madness. And this tiny little car that weighs nothing. Just lifts off the ground. But apparently they are a riot.
drive they're like the most fun cars to drive because they're super light with crazy power and these new engines are not that heavy so it doesn't fuck with the balance that much it's like slightly heavier than the stock engine but insane amounts of power and it sounds insane When we were down at a Nashville Comedy Festival, there was a guy who used to work at the club who pulled up in a gold and blue Lamborghini.
And it was just like the colors were crazy and it had some writing on it. And we were so curious about it. He won it in a sweepstakes. He actually won a Lamborghini in a sweepstakes. These are those cars. Give me some volume so we can hear this thing. The Miata? Yeah, these are the flying Miatas. Okay, that's not a Miata. I mean, it's just the front.
This is the Miata. That sounds crazy. But there's a new company that does it now. It's not them. And there's some better videos where they show, like, what the... Who's driving that thing, Cat Williams? Thing was hugging the corners. Imagine if Cat Williams like enters F1. Starts winning races. Oh, you never thought I could do it. F1's really like right in the streets of a town.
Yeah, in Monaco. They drive through the streets. They do it in Vegas, too. They did it in Canada. Oh, did they really? In Montreal. I think one year the festival was there. It was like they were preparing for F1. Oh, wow. It's wild. They do it out here, but they do it at the Circuit of the Americas. That's what that... neon sign up there is oh really our neon died i think did it die i think it died but um
That fucking racetrack out here, Coda, it's awesome. Watching Formula One, you can't imagine how fast they're going. Oh, is that the place? Is that the place? I think I did one of those rock fests. there backstage or oddball tour me. Is that the one that has the Overlook thing behind it? Yes. The F1 track? Yes. That's one of the... I'm talking about getting over a fear in one day where I've never felt so. It's got a...
Overlook thing you take its one floor elevator just goes right up to the top of that half of its concrete half of its glass Very thick glass, but I've never had this happen before when I got up there the first time I was gung-ho to walk out over that glass and go When I got to the glass part. The glass is the floor? Yeah. No. But it was concrete. When I got to the glass part, I almost fell forward because my legs stopped.
Like, my legs stopped moving. Like, my body shut down. Be like, no, no, no, no, no. We're not ready for this. Dude, I'm terrified of heights. Yeah, you should be. I'm terrified. Yeah, there it is, dude. That's fucking... And by the way, they didn't have... I don't think those red things were there when I was there. Did I take the, on top of the needle in the stratosphere in Vegas? The strat? Oh, yeah.
They have a roller coaster at the top, and then they also have the ride that goes straight up and then just drops. I went on it with my son. My son has no respect for me anymore after this, dude. Because I was sitting in the chair, literally just... They didn't even start... They pull you up for maybe...
five feet first and I thought I was at the top. I was screaming like a woman. Everybody was cackling at me. My son was making fun of me and they didn't even go. And then when they finally went up, it was, I mean, I'm so deathly afraid of heights, even if I'm strapped in.
My god, dude, I could do should be I'm afraid of fall. It's adorable. You're not you're a freak fucking those free climber dudes. They're just freaks. Oh the guys are like Joe like Joe from building Climes like Mount Capitan with fucking Just chalk. How about the thing that Ralph did that in New York you can do? You can go to the top of some building, and they have a thing where it's like you're connected to a line. But do you remember the Dave Sheriff show? You could take a picture.
Something in New York where you're like feet are on the building and you're hanging off it like over New York City. Yeah, fuck that. Crazy. It's just like. Fuck that. But I'm not like. Just for a thrill. I maybe could have gotten talking to Skydiving Young, not a chance. I've had some people try to talk me into it as an adult, and I'm like, if my daughter's got to tell the fucking story, if my daughter's got to tell the story of her dad dying in a fucking...
A wingsuit or something. Jerk off. Brian Redband's dad was working at this place. One of the people he's working with was a skydiver. And always trying to get him to go. Come on, come with us. One day, goes to work. They're not there. What happened? No Just didn't open didn't open that was a there was a great happens There was a thing called McCloskey on Netflix years ago. Was it a documentary? It was in fact a documentary
About a snowboarder guy. He was like an extreme sports guy. And he died because he jumped, he like passed, he like base jumped into a national park. And when he landed, he was being chased by the rangers and the cops. Arrest him and he went in the water with his parachute and everything got caught up and died. I think he drowned in the water I believe Then they did a thing on the news. They did a they were doing like a base jumping
you know, for this guy, like, immortal of him. It was a demonstration. It was like it shouldn't be illegal. So what they were doing was people were jumping, parachuting down, and when they landed, it was almost like organized, the cops would then arrest them.
They were all getting arrested for doing it, but that was their protest that we're all gonna do it You're gonna have to arrest us all and then while they're doing all that just in the background you just Just like way in the background. Oh god
It's like, yes, this is why this is stupid. Yeah, fuck all that. I've never had any of that adventurous shit in me. I've gone skiing, which I feel like is adventurous enough for me. Killed a Kennedy and Sonny Bono. But it's actually really dangerous, dude. Skiing is like... Wildly dangerous just sometimes I was I was in Park City and
You're just going down these a really long trail like 20 minutes like just you're just going and going and going But there's times where like I'm going to the edge and all it takes is like just a little less control And you just fly off the edge of a thing and you're done. Oh, yeah
How do cars not go off like up in the canyons in the ballet every year, like tons of them? They do. Constantly? Isn't that how Tiger Woods crashed? He went off one of those cliffs? Isn't that what happened, Jamie? No, not quite. Not quite? I thought he just hit a tree.
There was one guy who was tweeting who was like a famous plastic surgeon. He was like tweeting and they discovered that he was tweeting at the very same area where he fell off the fucking cliff. So he was just like texting while he was driving and not paying attention. He went off the side.
That's the most two in ten moment of my life when I'm going over those like through the Hollywood Hills Yeah, I mean I really it's crazy you get that you're able to drive that close to like certain death Yeah, well how about the fucking drive up to San Francisco if you take the coast?
There's times where the left side of you is just cliff. Yeah. There's like famous places like in the world, like in just other countries where, I mean, I've been to a few countries where you're driving, there's no rail. Your tires are just like along the edge like almost hanging off. It's fucking terrifying Yeah
Fucking dumb other countries. Oh, man. This is wild countries where the only way to get is these fucking rows to the mountains. Sometimes there's boulders that fell in the way, and you've got to move the fucking landslide and hope it doesn't hit you while you're driving. It's amazing all the years.
of driving for comedy and how long I've driven. Never seen a falling rock once. Not once. That is amazing. Science is falling rock. Never seen a falling rock any time ever. I've only seen it on the internet. Never hit a deer? It's crazy. You never hit one deer?
I was in a tour bus that hit a deer once. That was pretty naughty. I hit a rabbit recently. Oh, yeah. I tried, though. Oh, did you? No. I thought you meant with your foot when you killed them both. No, I did. That actually happened to me recently. I was moving my lawn furniture because my fucking...
Mexican fucking lawn care people never move the furniture back to where it's supposed to be and I'm moving it back and I felt my foot go into the ground and I heard beep beep beep beep beep and these baby bunnies jumped out of a bunny's nest which apparently they're underground I had no idea and
Yeah, they fucking... So Lewis reported those guys to ice. Piece of shit. What a piece of shit, dude. Come on. They're just here trying to live the American dream, dude. Yeah, the one jumped in my pool and went belly up, and I thought it was dead. I scooped it out with the...
We threw it in the garbage. My girlfriend was like, are you sure it's dead? I was like, I'm positive it's dead. Did you try feeding it carrots? She really did bring carrots out to these little broken bunnies. I was like, they don't want your carrots. Did they live? They did, actually. I thought they were going to die for sure.
It was on Memorial Day, and I called a rescue, an animal rescue place, and they were like, we're closed today. Call the cops. They'll come and get them euthanized. And we were like, no, I'd rather them... die a slow death in my backyard. And eventually they just started hopping around. The one guy, we call him Limpy, and he was just fucking...
Pushing himself with one leg you should have glued there You should have glued their hands to their genitals and then hung them from something a big Oh another autoerotic asphyxiation gone wrong Great the guy from in excess David Carradine now these rabbits so either lived or
a hawk came and got him eventually but do you think that some of those auto asphyxiation guys were murdered and they were set up to be humiliated and look that way no i think yeah do you see now that now they try to take the Jerking off part away from all those stories now. Really?
Yeah. How many stories are you reading that are autoerotic asphyxiation? None. But he's watched a whole documentary on it. No. I'm going to have my own documentary. Soundgarden, jerked off to death. Linkin Park, jerked off to death. Anyone who hangs themselves? You mean Chris Cornell? Yes. I don't think he was jerking off to death, was he? This is Jay's theory. Is this a theory?
It's a strong theory. Did you make it yourself? Yes. Oh, okay. Trying to be clear, we're breaking the news here. There's no evidence. There's no evidence. You don't hang yourself from a fucking doorknob that low when you're not trying to... They flash knockout while they're doing it.
And then they just die because they're being choked. They pass out. That's it. Yes, 100%. You heard it here first. And Linkin Park. Robin Williams. Robin Williams, they said, put a note. But again, I think now the... Since Michael Hutchins from NXS famously did that and David Carradine. That was news. That made news they died from that. How good could it possibly feel? Do you ever get choked during sex? I've had people call in. To get choked out like while you're nutting.
I've heard people call in. People say it mimics, a lot of times former addicts do it because it mimics the feeling of the high of heroin. That's what they said. But that's just people who've called in to say that. Who knows? But... Because Michael Hutchinson and David it's like the first when you think of their name before you think of even in excess or any of the songs You're like, oh, yeah, he died. Jerking off David Carradine all those movies died jerking off so now
They'd rather have you think they were just depressed and going through it than saying that because that's all you're going to be known for now. Right. It's probably pretty great. See the theory. It's not a bad theory if the family can hide that information. Wouldn't you? It's important that he was jerking off. He killed himself.
The world doesn't need to know he was jerking off while he killed himself. Well, you'd rather feel that it was on purpose because he was desperate and sad than he was such a weirdo that he had to jerk off and hang himself from a fucking doorknob. I heard there's a conspiracy involving the David Carradine one.
I think David Carradine had run afoul with some shady characters. Yeah, five Venoms, dude. I think it was in Thailand. Wasn't it in Thailand or something like that? He's actually Kung Fu. Is there a conspiracy theory? Attached it. We should call Sam Tripoli. He roamed the earth, bringing HPV to foreign lands. He was Kung Fu when I was a kid. When I was a little kid, he was the guy that was doing martial arts on TV. Hi Chang, Kane. Everybody called everybody grasshopper back then.
Yeah, but getting choked while you have sex rules. All right, bring it back up. He's hanging on it. David Carradine was wearing fishnet stockings and a dark wig when his body was found hanging in a Bangkok hotel room. Grainy images. Printed in the tabloid, Ty Rath reportedly showed kung fu actors suspended from a clothing bar in a closet. Red woman's lingerie appears to be in the bed adjacent to the body. Oh, this is somebody who hated him. Yeah, this might be, right? He...
Okay, found with his hands bound above his head and a rope around his neck, wrist, and generals. How would one do that to themselves? Sorrid details of Kill Bill Starr's sexual life began to surface as the photos... generated more questions about the actress mysterious death that seems like you couldn't do that yourself unless you're really really ingenious how do you how do you bound it says hands bound above his head
How do you do that? And a rope around your neck, wrist, and genitals. You need a really cool friend. How are you doing that? One-inch punch. One-inch punch, dude. Are you pulling it tight with your hands?
What? Okay, yeah, let's fuck that. It started getting carried away. It started getting real gross. Yeah, there's a lot of accusations involving. He was giving his wiener the old five-finger death punch. But I mean, what are the standards of like... in thailand if they find you hanging wearing women's lingerie
Does he really want to investigate they're probably stuck a lot. I don't touch that it's a yeah They probably like how is he even how is it autoerotic association? If his hands are tied up to above his head, that's the weirder thing I never saw and saw it before those hands were above his head. That sounds like that sounds like somebody
Walked away. Well, it's one of those things might have gotten carried away and somebody just left because they were like, whoop. Right. He's dead. Like maybe a lady was giving him head and then he came and then blacked out and she couldn't get him off the ropes. Yeah. Split. Just fucking booted out of there. Not like Lincoln Park and Soundgarden, who are just jerking to each other's music. I think some of them are just depressed, dude. Bourdain was just depressed.
But who hangs there's so many people hang them faster ways to take care of they don't have anything around them other than a rope and then it's an impulsive decision It's also like a romantic way to kill yourself. It's like who's got rope? You don't need rope, cord. You need cord.
How about the guy that... Your jizz sock from all your auto-erotic disassociation? The guy that was connected to the Clintons that hung himself with an electrical cord and then shot himself in the chest with a shotgun? From 40 yards away? Sus as the kids like to say was yourself Joe. How would you kill yourself? You had to Well gun is definitely the best way right because it's quick
Hey, what if you shoot like your front lobe off? Don't do that. Put it in your mouth like a real man. That was the fucking Richard Jennings. And then choke yourself. He missed. Yeah, he missed. And died later. Yeah, he died in the hospital. That'd be my biggest fear is like shooting, like just angling it wrong and then just. I saw a video of a guy who did that with a shotgun. He just took off the front of his face and was blind. Lived.
yeah life is now worse richard jenny takes his life dave couye never even tried to take his own richard jenny was funny very funny back in the day he was the man he was depressed that he never wound up being a movie star he wanted to be like he wanted to be the next jim carrey you know he did they got close with the mask and they said just made him more bummed it's crazy because he's like to us all the comics back then he was the guy you know
Well, he was on all those shows. Were you doing comedy at a time? Did you do you have performances on like a list and Stand-up spotlight or VH1. I did a bunch of those things. Yeah, I did a bunch of those. Caroline's comedy hour was a biggie. Yeah, I did that. I did MTV half-hour comedy hour. That was Paulie, right? No, that was Paulie. It was totally Paulie.
MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour was another show that would do, you know, do like 10 minutes or something. I forget what the time was. VH1 did one of those with Rosie O'Donnell kind of hosted them or something. Yep, yep, yep. It seemed like it was a pretty fun time in comedy. Comedy was pretty polluted with a lot of same old, same old at the time. But I mean, what a time to kind of like... That's why it was funny when I was opening for Dave Attell those years. He couldn't...
Get a grasp on like the change that I was experiencing that he because he was kind of like After three years like you want to go with me to this club again, and I'd go absolutely And you go aren't you headlining this place yet? It's like it doesn't work like that anymore Because he's from a time where they said if you got an hour of comedy together, then you tore. That's what they say. Well, Dave was way ahead of his time. You tore that hour of comedy. He goes.
You can't just do that. Like, you need a place to book you. Well, Dave, before, I mean, back when I started, this is 21 years ago, like, people would just have their act. Do you remember Seinfeld's documentary where he was like, he's like, I'm gonna get rid of my act after 20 years and have a new hour. It's like, that's what everyone does now.
The standard of comedy has changed so much. But if Attell was always like that, he would turn over. He was very prolific. No, no, no, for sure. I'm saying he didn't get that change that now you have to be able to sell tickets. Right to get booked places first it wasn't just like well you're one of the comics who has an hour in the country Yeah, there was a time where it was that it was like these guys just I think it was like the two coasts really was all of it
You know, I mean then of the internet I think really opened it up to the rest of the country and it's like saturation Yeah, you used to be able to go to clubs and build a market So you just keep returning you turn like once a year and after a few years people come to see you like oh big J's coming He's really
funny. We saw them last time. San Fran Punchline, Stress Factory, maybe two of the only clubs that really... I know there's more. Oh, the Providence Comedy Connection. Let me go there and... Enjoyed watching it be like, you know giving me a couple hundred dollars for a weekend change over the I Open for you made $600 for the weekend as the headliner. Yeah
Yeah, they give you a chance and if you're good and they know you're good and they give you a chance the people Trust them because they've got a long history of booking good comedy. It's like who's this guy? Is he good? Let's take a chance, right? But they're but places got afraid I remember that that hurts so much I open for Steve-o
When he first started doing comedy stand-by before me and I'd done DC improv with the tail and stuff before I did that weekend I hate when you go hat-in-hand to places and you get bad news. I remember going to the Booker there
who was like someone who's like so friendly to me now and she's great, you know, but like it was so hard. I go, hey, I'd love to come back and headline. Are you looking at an off weekend when people don't want to do Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, whatever? And she goes, yeah. I'd love to, but you don't sell any tickets, so it's all about selling tickets. She's kind of laid it out like that, and I was like, well, how do you? I didn't even know how to start.
Making that happen. It's pretty when we started like Legion of Skanks and stuff podcasting sort of created an opportunity for comics to the best Yeah, the audience people they know us they feel like they're really like sitting here with us. Well, they really are
And we talk like this if we were in the green room. The difference between podcasts and everything else is we're really talking just the way we talk. Everyone also gets mad too at like... what the thing is besides stand-up that makes it happen whether it's podcasts yes internet videos yes i've learned also to stop having that because people get a lot too much wrapped into that like there's a social media comic or there's a whatever it goes
Buddy, I don't know. My ex-wife does comedy and people ask me like, are you mad that she does comedy? I can't judge why anybody gets involved in it. I got involved because somebody suggested it to me. It's crazy to even want to. To care. Like who gives a fuck? It's like, why'd you get it? It goes, oh, because I was having funny tweets, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Like, okay. That seems like a good enough reason as anybody else starts. The first decade, you don't even...
There's no path like what is the path to like even making money? You're just doing it blindly going like I hope something happens Eventually people get mad because I think there is a path now to making money very quick and people are doing it So it's that right it's the Howard Stern used to shit on but it was that our famous thing with him and Ari shitting on the idea of podcasts But when people were shitty about that, I always understood his anger at least
I don't agree with it, but I understand when he did the... Well, his anger didn't make sense because he was already super famous. No, but his argument was saying, I had to do a.m. shift. Yeah. 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. in this shitty town, and I had to do this, and I...
played music until they realized it would be better to let me talk 10 years later. And he went through all that. It's just like, well, you could flip on a switch, and if you have an audience already or connected to somebody who has an audience, like...
You're doing it already? Like, you're just doing it now. Well, also the difference is we all hang out with each other and do each other's podcasts, whereas those radio guys all fucking hated each other. Right. Like Howard Stern, Hideo, and Anthony. Yeah, they would talk shit about each other all the time.
What was it? Jocktober. Jocktober. Where they would just find shitty radio shows and they would have their fans torture them for an entire month. Oh, so funny. Brutal. Fucking brutal. Cutthroat. Podcast doesn't have to be. Right. You could only be the one big radio guy in Philly.
You know and if Stern was coming into Philly and if they're gonna open up like a syndication thing He was gonna talk crazy shit on the big guy in Philly whoever it was or whatever city It was it do feels interesting watching I wonder if this happens with every generation the comedy dollar gets stretched though because it is kind of
Not that it necessarily hurt. I think the now with like having these kind of sham, I'm opening for Shane at some of these arenas and stuff. It's amazing. He's getting like 18, 20 some thousand people into these places and doing it.
One that's very difficult to like think of new jokes when you're doing comedy like that all the time, but we do clubs for sure No, I mean you have to like a Shane will do clubs. Oh, no for sure course. I'm just saying like Ticket to see someone in an arena is it's before they'd be able to see everyone They loved was coming through the improv or whatever and then a couple were doing theaters right like now it's like
It's a fucking night out at like a sporting event to go see comedy where it's like they might not have the money next week to go see me or Lewis at a club. I think it has changed. It's interesting in that way. Well, there's some people that just don't want to spend that kind of money to go to an arena anyway, and they'd rather go see someone in a club. Sure. It's a better experience. That's how comedy is supposed to be.
The best experience, though, in an arena is in the round. That's how Shane does it. It's like a giant club. It's nuts. It's like a giant club. Because the people on this side are watching the people on that side laugh, and you're all laughing at each other. It's very intimate, weirdly, even though there's like 16,000 people.
The only comedy I don't love at all of the three things, clubs, theaters, is theaters. Theaters is impersonal from the crowd enough and also personal enough that you could still do bad. They could turn on you with theater. Possibly if you're not the person they're there to see or even if you know I mean There's like a Nick Swardson thing that where he they turned on him. Well, he was lit on edibles. Yeah They weren't with him no matter what they did turn on him
Something about the arena, and again, Shane's doing an hour at these things, which is impressive as hell. For the 20 minutes I have to do, it's like, how could this go bad? Like, it's just, if... Anyone's laughing in there. It sounds like a million Shane had a guy open for him. I don't want to trash the guy I heard it was a sound issue though, but he just like Dude, he just started getting booed getting booed out of an arena is crazy I mean you have to feel like
It has to feel like it like being like you're getting the same reaction like that the visiting team gets when they go to that arena It happened to a comic kill Tony arena shows to happen It's somebody somebody will do two jokes in a row that bomb yeah, and then the crowds like fuck this guy and then it's a
was fun. I think it's because people are in that environment. They think it's fun to do it. How about T.J. when T.I. got booed at something when he was doing comedy at a big arena? Oh, yeah. Well, it didn't have it tight.
No, he sure can't do that. You can't just jump into you know, but you just lose them Damien Lemon very very funny comic He did like the hot 97 Summer Jam comedy thing and like they turned on him hard and when it turns it the most famous one of all Bill Burr on the Traveling Virus tour Opie and Anthony back in the day in Philly They had turned on Dom Irera before yeah, and then he came out everybody he said fuck this crowd and he spent
15 minutes just shitting. It's one of the most beautiful moments. Legendary. Legendary moments in comedy. I'm from Philly and it's one of my favorite lines ever about Philly that is indicative of that town that I love. He says, Joe Frazier is from here who beat Muhammad Ali. No, no statues to him or nothing and you have a statue of a fictitious Italian heavyweight You piece of shit through batteries at Santa Claus fuck this town
That's a classic. That's great. And he kept rattling off, seven more minutes. Yeah. I know that's funny. He had to quit that tour because everywhere he went then, they would start booing him because they'd be like, do Cleveland now. No.
yeah that was like that was like this before viral videos were happening like that right it was such shitty grainy footage um but that's when i i mean maybe my first year in comedy that happened a couple years in and you're just seeing that and it's like it's such a comics moment where you're like yes
Just fucking well, it's a big pin. It's a big moment to have in comedy I said a few of them when you when silence doesn't scare you anymore Or just the mode just I could talk into a microphone especially for 15 minutes Under any circumstance, you know, I mean like it'll suck
If it's terrible, you go out there already booing. Go out in the very beginning. There's no one there. But, like, I'm not afraid of the moment. That's a big thing to get over. And that's what, you know, being scared for the moment. That's why I said Duell overseas the first time. I was like... Do they even understand English here in England? The first five minutes, if you're doing a headlining set that's not going well, and you're like, oh, fuck, it's going to be another hour.
God damn it. Are you a long time guy or do you try to do like when you headline something? I do an hour. An hour. Yeah, especially if I'm on the road. Yeah. Always. I don't really have an hour right now. So I'm like putting it together. I think last night I did 50 minutes, you know, and like some of it, I keep forgetting my new stuff. You know, it's a lot of new stuff because it's all since August. Sure. You know, and I took a couple months off.
where I wasn't doing stand-up at all. I was like, let me just refresh my brain. And then I hopped on, started doing other people's shows. Then I had some old bits that I'd never put on the special, and I started bringing them back and piecing it together. It's like you've got to have a real set before you take that bitch on the road. You can't think you could have a club 45 minutes and go do an arena. Oh, for an arena, for sure. You've got to have a real set. I work out in the clubs.
on the road have to particularly I mean like but it's Burr said that back in the day. It's not just preparing for a special, really. Burr said that back in the day. We were just talking about someone special. It's like, he didn't do the clubs. And he's like, he's right. Like, this person, like, some persons, they start doing theaters, big theaters, and they do real well, and they just keep doing that only. Same opening act.
every time crowd wants to see them and you develop like a it's like a soft act Yeah, yeah, good. Yeah, not good. You need clubs, man. Yeah, but Austin's great for that as well. So you what you did down here is you You got a you've cultivated like
Comedy fans that want to see edgier shit. They want to hear fucked up jokes New York and LA they don't really like if you're just going on a random pop-in set at the stand or the cellar or The comedy store into some random show and they don't know who you are. You start doing fucked up shit They get very tight
Hmm very tightly down here like you go in the main room of the mothership or at the creek I mean these they're comedy fans. They're like legit It's become like a comedy destination kind of how like, you know, people go to New Orleans for jazz Well, this town doesn't seem to feel like it has the same
responsibility to like correct bad behavior on stage that New York has and LA has sometimes. Like they want to let you know that you're out of line. They don't want you talking about a certain subject. It's like... Did you think there was going to be when you opened the club? Did you... like foresee the dissension stuff that happens just within the scene?
The people that don't work there, bitching about this for this reason, and the people who... It's a walled garden. And everyone goes, they got in there because of this, and I met in there because of this. They have a walled garden perspective. You see a bunch of people having a good time, and you're not involved. Fuck those...
people it's normal it's a natural reaction yeah that people have to like this intimate community of people that are all friends that are having a great time it's normal to hate it Yeah, but it's not all wild comedy. There's a lot of like really clean comics that come here that kill. Like, Vecchione is fucking pretty clean. He's hilarious. He's squeaky clean sometimes. Yeah, he's on Nate's. Hilarious. He's like Nate's guy, so yeah. And murders at the club. He's a beast.
He's a beast. It doesn't matter. It's just funny. It's just whatever kind of funny you're into. Holtzman comes and destroys. I'm not even saying the bookings like one-dimensional anyway. I'm just saying that you can. Did you even foresee there be comics that were going to... be eventually like clip sucks anyways. I don't hear about them.
Stay away. Yeah, I guess doesn't make its way to you. They wouldn't be stupid You're gonna have people that complain about anything that they're not involved in sure They're gonna decide it sucks like how could it suck if you've got two days of open mics How could it suck if the comics get paid more than anywhere else?
it suck if it's entirely set up for comedy? How could it suck if it's super supportive of the comedians and gives them a path? What is the path for the young comic in Mothership? Well, there's a real talent coordinator. Adam E. gets a real talent coordinator. He sits there and he watches your set. He gives you advice. He'll have you come back and do it again. He'll give you spots on certain shows. They start developing comedians. And it's like anything else. This business is about...
Being likable and getting people to want to watch you succeed Yeah, where it's like you'll get your opportunity if you fucking if all the other comics are like, yo, this guy's funny You should take a look at him. I've seen that happen directly Can you get the lighter again? Yeah
Well, we have it set up for development. Like, the whole idea is, like, you want to develop new talent there. And Kill Tony's the best vehicle for that ever. You know, if you have a banger minute on Kill Tony, you could become a fucking star. And if you could reproduce that every week. 59 times. Kind of crazy that some of them have to do that. I mean, it's an incredible writing exercise. It's kind of crazy. The advice I would have given a young comic 15 years ago.
years ago, I was a young comic at the time too, but it's like, I would be like, do not be on camera for the first decade that you do comedy. Develop and act first. But now a lot of these guys just, they have the opportunity. It's like, could you really- But can it be detrimental if you really eat shit on it?
And you're like a three-year comic. I don't think people remember people bombing on Kill Tony where it'll be detrimental to your career. It could be. But, you know, it could not be. It's gotta be so bad. You bounce back and have a great set the next time and the people love you. I've seen that happen too.
Look, you're taking a risk when you're doing a new minute every week. There's a real possibility you might have a dud. Yeah. You know, especially if you're new to the game. You've only been doing it four years. You've got some talent, but, you know. I genuinely don't know. It's an interesting thing when I had to do it. essentially at
Madison Square Garden. Yeah, yeah, you guys were that interesting thing they try to whittle down in your head like what the fuck is Yeah, but they were all pumped to see you so it was easier. No, of course That's an arena's atmosphere to it's like it's our game to lose it was like the best and I Kill Tony show. It was really cool. I went both nights and whatever it was, the crowds were so lit on watching those shows. Nobody got booed. There was no problems. Super supportive.
Well, some people got booed. There's some people that bombed. Did they? Yeah, a couple people. I think someone went right before me. It's look it's fucking hard to do man, and it's fun to watch someone just go out there and fail sometimes It makes the people that succeed look better when I do kill Tony as a panelist
Watching somebody bomb it's my favorite thing cuz then you just trash them you get to fucking make fun of them That was I thought that's what when we started doing the show I've been on I've been a panelist on Kill Tony I think I might have the number one amount of times like 25 times. I've been a panelist When we started doing it like back in the day in the comedy store in the the belly room
the most fun we would have is when somebody just had a hot one and then we would just trash them it became way more supportive now like the whole show format is like really like tony trying to put guys over but back in the day we were just mean it was just like a mean evil
Thing it was so fun. Yeah, it evolved those belly room days were wild because you know like half the crowd would be like comics Yeah, there was no one there. It was fun. They but he kept doing it I mean he fucking did it over and over and over again until he honed that motherfucker down like a
samurai sword yeah no I'm super impressed with it like you know Tony's Tony's the man but that show itself is like I think it's inspiration for like story wars you know very different show it's just the idea of like the live the format and like yeah yeah that's
You know skanks has always been a live show but the development of story war has been very like well It's also easier when you have a format like we literally just set the table and then play and it's like We don't have to really do much that we're on a podcast like this or like skanks you have to actually kind of like
Be a little bit more present and like just sort of like you're trying to connect with the comics in a different way when we are We do it's like a game show that we created and it's just super formatted So it's just kind of easy to just plug and play funny. Yeah. Yeah. Well you guys
by doing legion of skanks just by the name itself it like opened up the door to wild comedy because it's like you know what you're getting into it's called the show's called legion of skanks well this was a brilliant idea that jay had like our secondary tagline is the most offensive podcast
on earth, and it's not. There's more offensive podcasts, but I think that's the reason we've never gotten in trouble is because you know exactly what you're going to get. Right. Why would you watch this if you do? Don't watch the most offensive podcast. Yeah, but you look like an idiot if you start complaining about it Adam crawl had a great analogy about it when he did our show he said
He was like, this is why you guys get away with it. He's like, when Snoop Dogg goes to the Grammys, Snoop Dogg... goes backstage, and he lights a blunt. And nobody's like, you can't smoke back here. It's like, you invited Snoop Dogg. You know what the fuck you're gonna get, right? And it's the same thing with us. I think people know what they're gonna get with us. We sort of just...
play and have fun and do our thing. Well, you give an avenue for comedians that's like, you know, where people know what they're going to get. And obviously people flock to it. I mean, Skankfest sells out immediately. It's because people love the vibe. It's fun.
Just fun. We're not here to take ourselves seriously. Also, broadcasting has done something for comedy. It's pretty amazing that I think broadcasters like the Howard Sterns, they had that all the time. It's very interesting when you meet the people. They know you. Inside now they know the time you told a story about the thing you fear the most and they know whatever and I'd get used to stuff like that where they'd be like hey your daughter picking a college you go
I'm like, oh, I guess I talked about that on the radio this week. Yeah. So it's interesting. It's weird. You can forget that there's an audience out there sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. You forget sometimes the things you say have weight to them.
No, absolutely. We found out the hard way. When we started out, who knew what this was going to happen when we started Legion of Skanks? We started Legion of Skanks pretty early podcast times. 14 years ago? Don't you think even now sometimes you say things, you're like, gosh, I shouldn't have said that.
No, I don't I don't unless it's about a purse like sometimes about people that's what we learned We learned to stop making fun of retarded children on the internet because they have families Well we do sometimes, but I've had to apologize to multiple families of men handicapped people because we've done bits on the show and
I mean we've gotten it where they they would come to me and be like like what is wrong with you? This is like a child that has like down syndrome We're like we had no idea that they get on the phone Louis and they're like I didn't mind it was funny Well, no, the, uh...
Twice now that happened and both times ended becoming very friendly with the family they came out to see me at shows they brought the kid now is your burden because That's the problem is like you're saying things with your friends like you would normally say, but then you don't really
It was a corner talk. Just a corner talk with the guy. But there's a real person on the end of these stories sometimes. And that's the thing. The only thing that's changed us. I think in the beginning, we would just say whatever. There'd be a silly story. And now I'm going like, well, all right, is this person going to hear this? And it's just a normal person who's like, their parents...
to raising a special needs kid. This is a tough enough life as it is. Buddy, I felt terrible. Last time I came in here, when you talked about it, I was like, hey, you know, there's that video going around that girl freaking out. And I was just going like, yeah, it's just like, she wasn't ready for this moment, but I went through. Didn't say the name on purpose. And there's so many videos on the internet that are like...
Jay takes a shit on this girl. I'm like, no, it's not what I did. Well, sometimes you say things because you're just talking, and then you realize, God, that other person's going to hear that. I did that recently, and I'd like to apologize to this guy. There's this guy named Flint Dibble. who's an archaeologist, and I said,
He attacks other archaeologists like Graham Hancock and he says some terrible things. But what I did was very counterproductive. What I said was like these weak, bitchy men. And I named him. And then he tweeted about it. He said, I have stage four cancer. And I'm like, fucking forgot he had cancer. I didn't mean him physically. I meant his behavior, but it made me feel bad. I was wrong.
what I said I shouldn't have said. Sometimes I say things and I just think I'm talking with friends and I realize it's going to hurt someone's feelings on the other. And it's counterproductive. Like, I'm doing the exact thing I'm accusing him of doing. He's attacking other people, I'm attacking him. It's stupid. And we can be funny.
with anything you don't need to like but I wasn't even being funny I was talking to an archaeologist I just get man I got angry at this process that sometimes like established archaeologists are attacking these people have legitimate ideas but I I shouldn't have done it that way and you just one passion no it's like i you know i talk about a lot of different things but i talk
Too often like I normally talk like sometimes when you talk about like a serious thing like you probably Shouldn't insult people it just it comes normal like fuck that idiot, you know like it comes out sure and you go Yeah, shouldn't have you know if we do that all the time you get loose you get a little too Comfortable I also that's the smart move I said that Howard Stern did years ago that I'm trying to get better at and do when you think something's ridiculous praise it and then
use it, and you could show everybody without having to make fun of it. Do you know what I mean? Oh, right, right, right. They'll make fun of themselves. Yeah, you could definitely do that. Well, I do that sometimes when I'm questioning people, and I know they're not telling me the truth. And I'll say, wait a minute. So what you're saying is, and so I don't even have... have to like say that's ridiculous that's fucking bullshit I just let the internet have it
Yeah, I mean like Epstein didn't kill himself, you know like that kind of a deal like okay You know like the internet deal with this. I'm not gonna deal with this. This is like I could only be so Pushy When people don't want to talk about a specific thing or want to give you an answer that you think is pretty much gaslighting you, you're like, okay. So that's a real UFO? All right.
You might you know I have people coming here all the time that I know are bullshitting me I know they are like I feel it, you know, and sometimes it's just like alright What are you gonna call them sometimes sometimes but like sometimes I don't know who was the guy years ago You had an argument with but again sometimes when vernacular
Causes the problem. I feel like at the time you were just like in a rhythm of saying the word bitch at the end of a sentence a lot and you said something you go You're like come on bitch. You can't think that way bitch and he was like
You're calling me a bitch unless you're pulling the shit out of me. Who was that? Was it Crowder? Oh, yeah, that's right. It was a weed conversation. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought I was talking to him like a comedian. He would just go along with it, and he got genuinely offended.
And I was like, I didn't mean that. I feel like you're bullying me. Yeah. We said we were bullying him because we were like researching information live that was countering what he was saying. And he didn't have access to it. I was like, all right. You know. Whatever. So he's being a real bitch. I was trying to be a good host, and I wasn't. And I was being too, like, a comic. Like, I could talk to you that way, and we would have fun. I could talk to you that way, we'd have fun. He wasn't...
He was a little serious. Shit, you can call those a bitch all day. That's the problem. Some people just get... If you're choking me while I jerk off, you can call me whatever you want. Some people just get serious, and you don't realize they're serious. Like, oh, you're serious. Like, you're really upset.
Because we're so used to talking shit. It's so normal. Like when people talk shit about me, I'm like, eh, I would do that. What am I going to do? You're too famous to not. You can't get offended. You're so big at this point that it's just part of the territory. That's part of the problem with saying things like about that Flint Dibble guy. You don't think about it while you're saying it. Like you're saying it to millions of people. Yeah. It's not just talking.
You know, and you're like... Guy's dusting off a raptor bone and you just see a tear hit it because he's listening to you in his headphones. That guy's a dumb idiot. I genuinely felt bad. My raptor bone. But it's like I actually didn't have a bad time talking to him. We had to confront him on this one thing because he accused Graham Hancock of being attached to white supremacy and.
and this like weird thing about atlantis like wow how does that have anything like and he tried to deny it and we pulled up the quote that he did because hancock says no blacks in atlantis no this is like this thing that these people do when they try to discredit things like certain academic
will do well they'll connect what you're doing to racism or homophobia they'll just try to like virtue signal their way into a position where everything you're doing is wrong and it's the the thing about Atlantis is a weird one it's like it's apparently it
At one point in time, there was some white supremacist that was pushing the theory of Atlantis being this great white race. But that's not what any of the people that are legitimately trying to research it think. They think it was in sub-Saharan Africa. black people are going to let their hair be wet all the time. I'm no archaeologist, but I am a bitch. What do you think Atlantis is? You think they get in the water?
Oh, isn't it the underwater? No. What an idiot, right? I didn't think that either, Joe. What are we talking about? The Bahamas? Atlantis, they believe, was this structure. There was a series of concentric circles that had like a lake running through it. It's like...
Really fascinating because there's this place called the Richard Structure in South Africa. And this is another one of those things that archaeologists will argue about. Because this thing looks like Atlantis. And there's this guy named Jimmy Corsetti and he gets labeled a Nazi for talking about it.
Weird stuff, man, where they try to make you look like you're racist for pursuing this idea. I don't totally understand it. You're defending racism. You're defending racism. It becomes this whole stupid argument that nobody really believes and it only exists.
on the internet, and nobody in real life gives a shit. In academia, they believe it. And if they don't believe it, they use it as a tool. And they'll use it as a tool to dismiss you. But this is one of the things that came up during that topic, that when even archaeologists come up with a new...
timeline for things where it throws the old history into a tizzy they attack them like in the we Graham Hancock brought up this concept of Clovis first they used to think that the Clovis people like 13,000 years ago were the first people in North
America and this one guy found evidence of people that lived a long time ago and they fucking ruthlessly destroyed his career they attacked this guy it turned out he was right and they found these footprints in white sands New Mexico they're 22,000 years old of human beings So they were probably living here even before that.
But they destroy people that come up with an idea that throws their expertise into question. And that's what they're all doing with Graham Hancock. What they do is he's pointing out that there's some real evidence that perhaps there was an advantage. civilization that was thousands of years older than we think civilization started at.
No crime and only three pointers. Well, it is in Africa. That's the fascinating thing. It's all in Africa. Egypt's in Africa. You know, this all this sub-Saharan stuff where they think the Richard structure. Show them what it looks like. It's crazy because the area, when you zoom out, looks like it was hit with a massive flood. Like everything looked like all water erosion. Like it was like massive amounts of water just destroyed the landscape. It still looks like that today. And it's in the...
Same plate like it's it's the mountains are north of it the seas below it That's what it looks like and that is like this size that Atlantis is described in in Plato's recollections of it or Plato's stories about it There's a lot of debate about it, but the position that it's in and the weirdness of what it is.
Makes a bunch of these ancient history guys that really believe in Atlantis just like they really believed in Troy They thought it was they thought Troy was mythical until they found it and then they're like, oh geez Troy was a real thing So there's a lot of these people that are the...
gatekeepers of academia and they they don't want anything to be dated older than what they've established and what they've taught in lectures and oh because everything's wrong then everything's wrong well everything is wrong there's weird stuff like lebanon have you seen those those fucking stones in lebanon um no there there's these immense i think they're called the trilithon stones or the trillion stones they're so fucking
big and they're supposed to be somebody's move these from a quarry and place them in place and you look at them like how How long ago? And then there's older stuff. There's stuff that's built on top of it. Look at the size of these fucking stones. I don't know if my Flintstone theory works here, but I think it's a brontosaurus that a man is controlling. Baalbek. That's what it is. Look at the size of these fucking stones. And if that one up in the top in the center, right to the right of that.
Jamie that one so that shows you the size of these fucking stones that are in place Like if you put a person next to them, they'd be like these are five meters high That's fucking bananas. How many miles per hour is that? I don't know. Five years, 25 feet. So those are 25 feet high. 15. Oh, sorry. It's three. Right. Yeah. Sorry. My math sucks, obviously. But these stones weigh some fucking insane amount.
There's no explanation those cornerstones. That's all one giant piece and we're how how the fuck did you do that? And there's a bunch of shit in Malta They found Neanderthal bones. So maybe Neanderthals were in Malta and maybe the land bridge was connected. And there's all this confusion about the date of these like ancient structures. It seems like people built other structures on top of them.
And when they find stuff like this, there's like this great resistance of anybody to try to like say they don't understand it. They always try to come up with some sort of an explanation, even when it doesn't make any fucking sense. Wasn't the Coliseum, wasn't it completely underground at one point? No. They discovered it?
No, no, no, no. The Sphinx was underground, but the head was above it, and then they cleared out the sand. The Coliseum was... You came all stupid as shit there. No, I... I don't think it was underground, no. No, the Coliseum has always been there, but they did used to be able to get water. in it. They used to have water fights that have boat fights in there. It was crazy.
Imagine really cool shit watching people get eaten by lions in front of everybody imagine what that was like well back then you listen They didn't like they would have these games and they would bring in like you know They would have like hunts and they would have like animal fights and shit like that
But it's like back then to see a giraffe, it looked like an alien. They had no idea. They would bring in animals from Africa like rhinoceros. Yeah, these people didn't have YouTube. They weren't traveling. They had no idea. It was literally like you're watching aliens fight. Have you been to the Coliseum? Yeah, it was incredible.
those things where they lift them up to the floor and the lines will pop out. Underground, they have a whole pulley system where they have elevators and they would have slaves pulling people up. It was a whole show. It was a really cool thing. We appreciate seeing slaves lower. If they had that right now.
If they had that right now, we would watch it. If there's something on YouTube, like I've already seen, have you seen the night fights where guys dress up in armor and beat the fuck out of Joe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harrington, Harrington. One of our friends doing it, yeah. He does the commentary for it. He's like the Joe Rogan of night fighting. That's so ridiculous.
Ridiculous dude. They're hitting each other with battle axes and shit. Oh, a scepter strike to the leg. But it's like they look tough and then they take their helmets off and they're just fucking virgins. It's like just these really nerdy fat dudes. Preemptive balding people. Some of them know how to. Fight though. I've seen ones where guys take guys down leg kick on their MMA guys that are getting into it. It's just another like outlet another outlet
Part of the floor of the Colosseum was buried until the mid-19th century. Oh, you were right. There you go. I knew, yeah. I don't want to correct you. So the hypogemian floor lay buried under 40 feet of earth. Memory of its function even existed. What is that the floor that lifts up? Is that what that is? Yeah, the floor there was stuff sticking out of it and then they went and they said they
they uncovered that there was like an entire underground system, like all this shit. It was actually really round. So did someone cover it up? Did you go back to that description, Jamie? Because I think it explained that someone covered it up.
I mean, they destroyed most of Rome, so I'm sure it was part of it. I wonder why they did that. They were using all this shit for other stuff. The tour that I did at the Coliseum was boring as shit. Hey, Mussolini fixed it. The guy wasn't all bad. What were you saying, Jamie? What'd you say? They were using the pieces.
The city for construction or whatever else they're building new stuff, you know same with like the pyramids Mussolini with a monster I go clean the floor of the coliseum they did that with the pyramids they stole the fucking stones from the outside of it yeah people are so gross Yeah, it was crazy. Well, remember the Trevi Fallon a few years ago in Rome? They poured like black ink in it or something, just protesters. It was like, and they...
Literally had to drain the fountain and it took like however many months to clean it. It was fucked up The Coliseum architects made changes to allow new methods of stagecraft other changes were accidental fire sparked by lightning in 217 AD gutted the stadium sent huge blocks of travel team plunging into the hypergeum.
What? That whole area is so nuts, man. 217. How do they have those facts? Coliseum is really cool. I learned more about it. I did a like a gladiator training program with my son. It was like a little like place you went and I learned so much about the Coliseum doing that. More than the tour the tour was boring as shit. I went like August. It was 110 degrees out. It was insane He's aggressively trying to make his son straight
But that was a cool experience. It's fucking cool as shit, man. They didn't kill each other, the gladiators. That's all like lore. That's all lies. Because it was like pro wrestlers. If your gladiator killed another gladiator, the guy who owned that Gladiator would have to pay
The other guy who owned that gladiator they're all slaves. It was all just shows like pro wrestling They would cut each other, but they have like big like fat bellies so they wouldn't cut each other's organs They do how to like do it in a certain way was all show really it did happen once in a while But that was more rare when you see
an actual death. So occasionally they would fight for real to the death? I don't even, yeah, I'm sure occasionally they did. Where did you get all this information? From my gladiator training program. Really? Yeah. The guy's certified. Weapons and the costumes they would wear and like the type of armor they would wear is like there was like, you know, whatever like
You know a couple dozen different types of guys and like oh that's the guy with the fucking mace and like a certain helmet And it was like it was free as well all the people in Rome There wasn't a ticket price the government would sponsor it. So it was just to get people like, you know, keep them happy and
Fucking the richer you were the closer you were like all the peasants would be up in the rafters, right? But uh so the movie gladiators bullshit there was no thumbs down thumbs up what? Common misconception gladiators always fought to the death The winner survived and the loser died. Very rarely, and usually with special dispensation from the emperor, would there be sign miso battles, which automatically meant death for the loser, with no chance of being spared. So occasionally they died.
Very rarely they died. But they were like celebrities. Like the gladiators would come out and they were like... Wow. Some historians say... Wait a minute. One in five died in battle. That's a lot. Others say one in ten.
Most only live to their mid-20s, which compared to today's house. Well, they would die of their injuries very often. It wasn't like it was flight to the death. They just didn't have medicine. Like, yeah, they would get stabbed and get infected. But Gladiator 2 was right, though, right?
But that I mean when he's talking about the water they would fill it up with water and have boat fights That was a real thing in gladiator. Oh, I see not now. I'm bummed out I thought they really fought to the death like every time. Yeah. Yeah
Goddamn, dude. Well, I've got bad news about the WWF also. Oh my God. You know what? I might as well pull the Band-Aid off if we're already here. Wrestling also. But it was, yeah, it was like akin to pro wrestling. Like they would have like personalities and people would like...
That was a problem in Japan in the early days of MMA. Some of the fights were fixed. You could tell. You could tell certain guys would win by leg lock. That's where you can stomp and shit too, right? They'd have professional wrestlers, like promoters, do those MMA fights. She's describing the animal hunts they did, but I'll skip ahead to this part here.
Hypogeum played a vital role in these staged hunts, allowing animals and hunters to enter the arena countless ways. Eyewitnesses describe how animals appeared suddenly from below as if by magic, sometimes apparently launched high into the air. allowed the organizers of the game to create surprises and build suspense.
a hunter in the arena wouldn't know where the next lion would appear or whether two or three lions might emerge instead of one. Yeah, out of those like trap doors in the bottom, a lion would just jump out and then, and you're watching a dude like hunt lions. How cool. How cool is that though? This uncertainty could be exploited for comic effect. He goes, guys, I'm not afraid of no bullshit ass lying. I fuck a lying.
He's right behind me, isn't he? Emperor Galenius punished a merchant who had swindled the Empress selling her glass jewels instead of authentic ones by setting him in the arena to face a ferocious lion. When the cage opened, however, a chicken walked out to the door. delighted the crowd. Galenius then told the herald to proclaim. He practiced deceit and then had it practiced on him. The emperor let the jeweler go home. Whoa.
So they let people so it wasn't that killed them days later. They were less mean than we thought. Yeah. Yeah, it was still pretty brutal Well, it's fucking brutal time to be alive back. Yeah, I did one if I've got to live relax
One in ten. Maybe one in ten. Maybe even one in ten. No big whoop. I bet a lot of dudes were sliced up, though. You ever see those Nazi dueling scars? Where the Nazis in the... Like, when they were in, like... military school they would have duels with sword fights and their faces would get slashed up and that was like their badge of courage so all the nazis that came over for nasa they all these like crazy nazi dueling scars all over their faces you ever see those bro
So creepy. They do the shit we do now in arenas too with like t-shirt guns. Snacks fell from the sky. Snacks. As abundantly as hail, one observer noted. along with wooden balls containing tokens for prizes, food, money, or even the title to an apartment, which sometimes set off violent scuffles amongst spectators struggling to grab it. Nothing changes today. Nothing. There used to be a blimp that would go around the Sixers Stadium and drop coupons for hers, potatoes.
chips and I've seen people fall off of balconies for them. It was as hot as a boiler room in the summer, humid and cold in the winter and filled all year round with strong smells from the smoke, sweating workmen packed in the narrow corridors and the reek of the wild animals.
No bathrooms and all that. Did people just shit into holes? Well, they always did. Where would you go if you're hot and you're drunk? And everybody's got the plague. All right, boys. Should we wrap this bitch up? Sure. Let's bring it home.
Thank you so much. Are we officially in the Rogan's sphere now? Yeah, you're in. Come on, man. You were always in. All right, you said it here. You were always in. What the fuck are you talking about? We just don't see each other enough. Please watch my specials. Them day, both available. They're awesome. Anything you got? Yeah, check out the store. It's mine and big.
Jay's new podcast, Story Wars, which is great. And yeah, I got a book, actually. You know what I'm- You wrote a book? I'm writing. I'm almost done with it. It's coming out December 2nd. It's pre-sale right now on Amazon. What's it about? It's my childhood memoir. Wow it starts off with the a dude who wrote other books was like Spoons, yeah a memoir. Yeah He was like hey during get you a book deal and I was like really and then I started working with him on it and
Yeah, it's been good. It's dark. It's funny. It's fucked up. It's just my fucked up childhood and finding comedy. I always admire someone who can write a book. Yeah. I always admired Norton. He's written a couple of books. Damn, he wrote a whole book. He actually wrote a book. Norton's a man. Norton's in town right now. Yeah, yeah.
It's your Friday. He's doing Story Wars tonight. Nice. You guys at the creek? No, we're at your club. Oh, you're at my club. That's how little Joe knows about his own club. What time is it? This is our path. 7.30 and 10.30. Why don't you come, Joe? Why don't you come on Story Wars? Oh, I don't have any good stories. I used them all up. I've had 2,500 fucking episodes. I've used them all up. You don't need good stories. I'll tell you all. There's going to be something that goes,
Once on an archaeology journey, I'm like, oh, this is Joe. This is definitely Joe, I think. I think this one's Joe. One time I was talking to the director of the CIA. He's like, well, that must be Joe. To get a black bear from a helicopter with a crossbow. I appreciate you guys. Thank you. It was a lot of fun. Thank you. All right. Bye, everybody.