#2320 - Tom Segura

The Joe Rogan Experience. First of all, how did Netflix let you make this show? Well, they wouldn't have let me make it if I just pitched it to them. What did you do? I made a few. I made a few and showed it to them. Oh, my God. Because I knew. I knew that if we... You can't give anybody, like, the script. No. No. The script won't work.

The script won't work. I mean, that's just... That's the thing. It's very funny. Thanks, man. So ridiculous. It's pretty ridiculous. It was a few years ago that I made the initial... I was on that crazy tour, that real crazy tour, where it was like, you know, fucking 10 shows a week. And I had a break coming up. And so... I've always liked movies, like features, right? But...

It's a huge undertaking to get a feature made, but I liked short films because it feels like you're making a movie, you know, like a mini movie, right? And it feels much more accessible to do. So I had written... All these like short stories, short films. And I called my friend Rami Hashash and I was like, hey, I have a break coming up on tour. Let's shoot a short film because we'd done other things before. And when I sent him, I sent him like 10 different scripts.

He was like, what if we did three of these? I was like, how can we do three of them? He's like, we'll shoot like 11 days in a row. We can do. three of these stories and even then i wasn't thinking of like having a television series i was just like oh it'll be fun to make these these stories you know And so... After we shot those three, it was clear that we had the bones of a show. What if we did a show that was...

based on short stories, you know, like short films, basically. And I don't know, there was another view that were in the original. And when I sent them in to Netflix, they were like, this is fucking insane. But we'll make six episodes of this. And yeah, they were just like, this is crazy. But it's been the most fun I've ever had, dude. Really? Yeah, yeah. Because you know what? I was thinking about it on my way in here today. I was like,

Sometimes you have to remind yourself like of what your original, like your dream, like your original dream, you know? And my dream when I moved to LA had nothing to do with standup. I never thought. Not to say that I don't love doing stand-up today. I'm in love with stand-up. But I moved to L.A. because I was like, oh, I want to do movies. That was my whole thing. I want to do comedy movies. And I had my own blueprint for how I would do it. I was like, I'll go to the Groundlings.

SNL will definitely hire me from there. This is my 21-year-old brain. And then I'll do that for a couple of years and then I'll do movies. Like I thought that was a logical game plan to end up in movies. And it just, you know, I did do the groundlings for a while, the school. But when I was supposed to do writing lab, which was like one of their levels, I had started stand up and I was just like, oh, this past. Like, I was getting traction. Not like...

My career wasn't moving, but I'm saying, like, I could feel how much I loved it, and I was starting to get, like, 50 bucks here and there, and I was like, oh, it's not doing the writing lab thing. It's staying in the stand-up path, you know? That's kind of, like... Interesting. But the dream of, like...

of doing something like movies which is like this feels like to me like they sent me to film school and they were like make your fucked up movies uh that's what it felt like that's been like i was you know i was working like 16 hour days doing this thing and I would come home and Christina would be like I have never seen you so energy after working all goddamn day. She's like, you've come home in the best mood. I was like, yeah, because I'm having fun. I'm having so much fun doing this.

all that shows you're doing the right thing i think so i mean it was like that is so uniquely you it is right oh yeah yeah yeah that's our fucking text thread pretty much is there are some in here that i can't wait for you to see like there are some in here that i Literally cannot wait for you. She, this morning, she goes, why is it called bad thoughts? It should be called cock thoughts. She's like, I swear there's dicks in every other one. I'm like, yeah.

She's like dicks and violence. That's your... we need more of this in the world yeah we really do Um... You know that show, the religious show on Macs? Why am I not remembering it? Righteous Gemstones. Oh, yeah. Fucking A. Yeah, man. Dude. Dan McBride. Yeah.

He's fucking fantastic. Yeah, he's fantastic. But the whole cast is fantastic. The whole cast is fantastic. The fucking show is so good. It's so funny. Goggins, Adam Devine, John Goodman. Oh, yeah. Everyone's amazing. They're all fantastic. But it's also so ridiculous. Yeah. It's like, thank God. It seems like for a while people were getting scared of making anything offensive. I know, and it also feels like...

So many studios, networks, platforms, whatever you want to call it, are so distanced from comedy. It's too dangerous. Well, what's weird is you can get away with so much in a drama. In a drama, you can have violence. theft and car accidents you can fucking kill people and rape people and steal all their money and and that's okay yeah for some reason but like there's something about doing comedy that's offensive or even potential

Yeah, the other thing is there's the offensive angle. I also think that they really shit the bed on literally... backing truly funny material like the comp so many studio comedies that are released

The criticism, people are like, why didn't this work? Because it's not good. It wasn't funny. It's not a funny comedy. Don't you think part of that is because they can't take any real chances? Yeah, I think... A studio is always, you know, like if you strip everything down, it's somebody that has to have some risk in their job they're playing with.

millions of dollars and saying like this this will make us money right and so yeah they they start to get more apprehensive about it the other thing is that the cost of some of these comedies When comedies were really... thriving last which was I think like more than 20 years ago some of these comedies started to cost like 30 million plus to do a comedy yeah because sometimes you had like

huge stars and huge set pieces and you'd have these enormous budgets yeah like real and now some of them like Tropic Thunder I think did probably pretty well at the box office right but a lot of them would not And so it started to be like, hey, you know what, we can make this. That's why you see the explosion of certain genres, right? Like horror really has had a huge uptick the last decade plus.

People can produce them for $5 million, but they don't realize that you can produce great comedies for $5 million also. You can, but you have to prioritize the material first. It's got to be a great script. and they've got to be willing to back it. I feel like they just haven't taken those shots yet. Well, it's kind of a tremendous opportunity, right? Because of the fact that

these big studios and these big stars are not doing those kind of films. Exactly. Like the door is wide open because the demand is never... gone away no people want it they want to laugh always i'm doing one this summer yeah i'm doing a movie this summer yeah what are you doing it's a crazy fucking comedy it's insane it hasn't been announced yet so um you know how they are about that but it's a it's a wild r-rated comedy well tell me about it

Okay, yeah. Ha ha, everybody else. I would love to talk about it, but I think we're... doing kind of like what you're saying which is like we're going to go all in on trying to make this really funny movie um and i i mean i couldn't be more excited about it and i think it's it's like it takes

You realize when you read it and you go, this is it, we kind of do some punch-ups on the script, and then you just try to surround yourself with amazing comedic talent, like great actors. And just have fun. Yeah, I think that's like... that's awesome something that's missing that's so cool i didn't even know that that was your original dream and i've fucking known you forever i know yeah it was i guess i was probably like i kind of was resigned to that's not gonna happen too you know not like

I mean, the other thing is, like, dude, every time I'm out on the road, you know, I get a call, hey, they want to see you for this part, or you got an offer to shoot.

this show or this like here's the offer and i'm like yeah i'm i'm on tour like i can't move the fucking united center you know they don't care they don't care they just want that piece and i'm like dude because they don't get a piece of that united center i know i'm like i can't move all that but that's also i realize that after years of that it's like well if i'm always I'm just never going to be able to do other people's stuff. Yeah. And so...

And also kind of, I got excited about, you know, having the summer off and I could do something. And then my tour, the current tour I'm on, will end in December and I'm leaving 26 wide open. Really? Yeah.

i'm gonna yeah film some stuff and then i'll still do like what i do which is like go into your club or book some club weekends which are kind of like low you know stress kind of things where you go like i'm just gonna go work out so i'll try to keep the muscle fresh but i won't book like a tour you know It's good to take breaks. It is, right? I'll tell you that. I took a big sort of a break. I've just been doing a club. How's that? Since I did my live special. Yeah. It's very nice. It's great.

having no pressure so like i just talk about what i want to talk about and i write about what i want to write about instead of going i gotta put an hour together because i have a tour Right. Like, I have to make sure this hour's tight. You just kind of take your time with it. And I think there's something to be said for taking breaks with stand-up in particular because, like,

You don't want to just have tools that you use to do a job, right? You want to actually, like, you have to kind of figure out what am I investing all my time in these... What's interesting to me? How much time is that going to take to figure out what the perspective is where I can just say it on stage? Because I feel like...

With a lot of comics, there's a thing happens where you get kind of like locked into a set, and then you abandon that set, and there's this mad scramble to come up with a new set. Yeah. And a lot of times when you're doing that new set, you're not invested in it. It's just you know you can make it effective. Right. You know what I mean? This kind of feels like filler. Yeah. Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. And the audience.

I think they definitely do. Oh, they do. They do, because I feel it as an audience member. I know when someone's doing that, and I go, oh, this is not, I'm not connecting with this at all. Right, but if it's something that you can tell the person wants to talk about, it resonates. Exactly. Actually interesting. That's the thing. As I've gotten older, I've thought much more about stand-up, and a lot of stand-up is kind of unspoken. I think a lot of it is hypnosis.

Really? Yeah, there's a weird thing going on. And I get it from great comedians. When I was a kid, there was this guy named Frank Santos, the R-rated hypnotist, and he would go on stage. stuff. You're having sex with Madonna. It was really weird. There was a flow to his confidence or something about him and he was also an actual hypnotist. He hypnotized people to quit smoking and shit like that.

And there was something that he was doing where I was like, what is he doing? What is this connection where it's just so funny? How is he getting into these people's heads? What is hypnosis? And then I see like a guy like Attell on stage when he's killing. And I recognize something and I'm like, he's hypnotized.

There's something that he's doing this effortless effortless confidence and connection to what he's talking about and great material also so you give him the reins you're like oh this material is so good take my brain take my brain take my brain and the rhythm of the cadence too because he has a very particular cadence and you you know if you hang out with him

or work with him like I did a few times, you start doing the cadence. A lot of people do. Start doing the cadence. And I did that. I did that in like 05, 06. when i was like he was on his show and his out his first like killer album came out skanks for the memories yeah i mean i feel like i would be talking like to you like this i get on stage like how's everybody doing like i would just start

Because it's such a hypnotic type of cadence. Yeah, Patrice always says that about having babies. That's his baby. Yeah. Like, Dave Vidal has a bunch of babies. Yeah. It's like a bunch of people that gave birth to them. 100%. Yeah. Yeah, it's super normal. A lot of people have that. But it's interesting how that stuff works, that there's a thing that's going on, which is why live stand-up is so much better than stand-up on television.

I also had this thing recently because I'm on tour right now. I realized that like, man, it's funny how I could be, I could be like tired and being tired. take i go on stage in a different mindset and all of a sudden i'm like wow that was a way better set like i had the right amount of tired not tired where i can't think but more relaxed more yeah and then and then i get off and like my whole tour crew was like an amazing show and I'm like yeah I feel like I was

Too tired to be, like, self-conscious or something. You know what I mean? Right, right. Like, some of my self-awareness went away, but, like, the right degree of it went away. Yeah. And then the show just felt better. And then you locked in. Yeah, I also like to tell myself sometimes if I remember. that I'm best on stage. If I'm going on stage in a silly mindset, if I'm goofing off backstage, fucking around,

you know, making fun of somebody that's like in my crew or something. I don't know, you know, like dancing in the green room, like just silly. That mindset, walking up on stage, is the best one to go on stage with. That's why you so love working with Joey so much.

Yeah. Because two things. One, Joey would make me laugh while he was on stage. I'd be waiting to go on stage. Instead of thinking about my material and going over everything with a fine-tooth comb, I'd just be laughing. And then I'd go on. and that's that that's the thing is that's an unspoken thing that the audience goes like there's joy coming from this person yes you know they feel the joy yeah they really do because like there's nothing grosser than fake

Yeah. When a comedian does the fake laugh thing, it's fucking gross. Just like when you know they've said that fucking same joke the same way, every night with the same laugh. Yeah. Like, you're tricking me. You're tricking me, yeah. You're tricking me. You're a hooker. It's so manufactured, you know? It's so calculated. Which is fine. I mean, whatever. Do whatever. But it's like there's a thing that comes with that that's like, okay, I'm never going to be fully locked.

True. you know what I mean and then there's also nothing as fun as genuine. laughter on like if something really makes you laugh while you're doing a set that's the most fun oh for sure and that becomes contagious It's like, that's why the bits work so good when you first start doing them. And then sometimes they die off because you're getting tired of it and you're not laughing anymore. Yeah.

Whereas, like, there's certain things, like, at a subject when you first start talking about it, you're like, what the fuck is going on? How is this a real thing? It's so funny because we were just talking about how there's a certain bit. where you, it kills, like it kills, right? And then over the next few months, It dies slowly. And you're trying to do the math. You're like, what am I saying it different? Am I just going to listen?

Right. Did I miss a beat or something? Did I miss some connective tissue? Right. What's going on? And just like by the end you're like, no, it's fully dead. It has died. I don't know what happened. You just got to be able to accept that they're dead. Yeah. That's such a funny thing, though, that happens. I have a bunch of bits I call orphans. I have a file.

oh like they're all bits that just never made it onto a special yeah someone comes up to me like every now and then one of my friends come up to me like do you do that fucking is that on anything i was like that one's just an orphan it's an orphan it's just floating around it doesn't fit with It's all so fucked up. And sometimes you're like, you ever try to bring those back? I brought some back that didn't make it.

and sometimes they get new life. Yeah. And then sometimes you're like, oh, there's a reason why I didn't carry this one. You know when they pop up as bottom of the barrel? Oh, yeah. it's the best show the bottom of the barrel every now and then I'll pull something out actually I have a fucking ancient bit on this if I can kind of remember it That's the other thing is your memory starts to, on the old stuff. My memory's gone on my last part.

it's gone that's the best thing that can happen oh yeah it's gone I get called out to you know do this bit and I go I honestly don't remember how it goes like I'll start it And then I'll forget. Right. You want to do it? Yeah. And then they'll know it. They'll know it better than you. Yeah. Sometimes that's good. That'd be funny if they did it. They acted it out. It's pretty fun. Yeah. There's just a certain bit.

They just leave your mind. It's like, I'm done with this. Did you like any of the acting stuff? Because I know you don't have any interest in doing it anymore, but did you enjoy it? Yeah. Yeah, news radio was... That was fun. Yeah, it was fun. I didn't mind doing it. It's just I didn't like it as much, and I didn't like the time. that these I mean, I don't sound like I'm complaining. Oh, he's acting so hard.

But it's like you're working these long ass days. Yeah. And as a person who likes to do a lot of different things, that becomes a problem. And you were on a multi-cam. Exactly. Imagine if you were on a single cam. Way harder. Single cams are crazy. I had friends that are on single cams. I was like, oh my... They were working six days a week and they would work in like 12, 15 hours a day. Yeah.

Like, this is so crazy. Like, I like to do a bunch of stuff, man. I like to do jiu-jitsu. I like to play pool. Are you rolling again? No. No, I'm still injured. I'm still dealing with some small, it's a lot better now, lower back issue. And a little bit of a knee-ish, but that's pretty good, too. I'm pretty close. My little guy quit jiu-jitsu. Why? Why'd he quit? They both go. Both my boys go.

And we take them in, and my youngest is like, this is my last one. He's six. And I go, it's your last one? He goes, dude, my schedule is six. I go, what? He's talking like me. And he goes, I have a full plate. And I go, you have a full plate. He goes, I go, kindergarten, I got Spanish.

They do drums. I don't have time for this. That's hilarious. And then he told the instructor. He told the guy in charge. I was like, tell him. He goes, I won't be coming back. I have a very full schedule. And so that guy. Kind of like smiled and he goes, well, what do you have? He goes, I told you, kindergarten, drums, Spanish. I don't have time to do everything. He's sick!

And I go, yeah. Is this the one who calls you Tom? Well, they both did for a while. But yeah. So he goes, but the instructor was great. He goes, okay, okay. He goes, well. In life, you have to be strong, right? And my kid goes, yeah. He goes, it's not an option. And he goes, yeah. He goes, so if you have to be strong. then you have to do this. And my kid's like, yeah. He goes, the instructor goes, I'll see you Thursday.

And he sticks out his fist and my kid goes, I told you, I'm too busy. And so he hasn't gone. But this is the thing about kids is like he hasn't gone now in like a month. And then now he's like, hey, I want to go back to jujitsu. Of course. Of course. And also his older brother.

very well ah that's a problem he's like this motherfucker he got a new belt you know and and he's my older brother's like fucking him up and talking mad shit all day takes his shirt off every day and he goes i'm gonna be so So he's like, shit, I gotta get back in there. That's hilarious. yeah you gotta hedge your time like you have to figure out like what do you what do you want to do you are the you're the most

insane in my book for a person who does the most different things. Because you're highly proficient at archery, jiu-jitsu, shoot and pull, fitness. This shit. That's a lot of different things to be very good at. Do I have to pick my spot? Yeah. You know, because I'm an obsessive person. Right. So, like, I have to, like, that's why I don't fuck with golf. That's why I don't fuck with video games. Fucking golf will get you, dude. Video games will get me. I stayed away from video games for...

20 years about. About 20 years. And we got a console. Uh-oh. Well, here's the thing. I actually found that I am busy enough Where I, in my brain, I can go, yeah, I can't, I can't. I can do 20 minutes on certain days and get like a little dopamine kick from it and have fun. But most of the time I walk by and I go, I want to play. My problem is if I put that 20 minutes in, I'll be up until 5 in the morning. I don't need sleep. I just won't work out tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just show up.

Half in the bag. I'll eat a lot of creatine so my brain works. Do you know how to do that? Yeah, I started doing it every day. But that's a really big one for sleep. Really? Yeah, there was a sort of study where they showed that it completely diminishes the effects of sleep depression.

I think it's 20 grams. I think 20 grams of creatine, something crazy like that. I've been doing that. I have a whole new sleep protocol I'm doing. Oh, a sleep protocol. I'm taking a bunch of peptides and shit. I just ordered an Oura Ring. That's good. Did you have to try that pineal? No, I haven't. I heard about it. You were telling me it really ramped up your REM sleep. Fucking awesome. Yeah? Yeah. Nice.

Anything for more sleep I'm into, man. I'll tell you what really affects it. Quality sleep. No drinking. That really affected my sleep a lot. Really? Oh, yeah. Were you drinking a lot? Not a lot. Not like burnt levels. But like last time I was sober, I was with him. We were all, it was like, it was a great table. It was like Taylor Sheridan and his wife. My wife was there, Bert and his wife, David Goggins and his wife. Oh, wow. And then a bunch of my professional pool.

That's a fun table. It was fucking phenomenal. We had so much fun. We all had dinner together. after the UFC fight, and Burt is just throwing back martinis. And I was like, oh, I definitely made the right choice. I definitely made the right choice. I'm watching him. He's slowly turning into a human grape in front of my eyes.

Fucking red-edged face. He was hilarious. He was. I'll tell you that. At the table, we were having a lot of laughs. Yeah. But I was like... He can knock him down, dude. He can really knock him down. He found out we were leaving, so he ordered two more to down on the way out the door.

He just downed two martinis, like just downed these martinis on the way out the door. I'm like, this is fucking preposterous. It's preposterous. And then I talked to him and he goes, I got all my blood work done. Perfect. Everything's perfect. I know. How's that possible? He always says that. And I saw somebody comment the other day. Our podcast, mingo. The documentary about Bert's doctor.

who says blood women's perfect is gonna be unbelievable it's a complete challenge it's gotta be dirty lab coat with a fucking mouse in his pocket It's going to be complete lunatic. He was like, you're great. Oh, my God. That's so funny. That's so funny. We had dinner, and he was like, Wine, wine, anybody wine? And I was like, I'm good. And he's like, we'll do a bottle of wine for the 10. Nobody had wine. So he just dumps the bottle into his glass.

And you can drink it in like five minutes. It's crazy. It's bizarre. Well, it's obvious. It's got to be an... adaptive thing right like running is yeah if you run never you can't run Right. But if you run a lot, you can run a marathon. Sure. You can get used to it. Your body gets accustomed to putting in the miles five before work every day. You know we always talk about that freak show shit he has in him. Like he's freaky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a freak. We did the 5K.

in in tampa we had like 8 000 people come out this year it's crazy and um so many people that are like You know? making look at that yeah making leap how good is jelly roll look dude do you know what he's down 200 pounds yeah and from last year 130 that's amazing and he's like i want to lose another 100 that's insane so what's he at now he's at 340

So he wants to get down to 240. Wow. He wants to get to 240. He's a big guy. For him, 240 is probably right. Yeah, it's probably. And by the way, we were talking before he got there. The 5K had, it was in Raymond James Stadium where the Bucks play. So I was like, well, how are we mapping out 3.1? Well, the only way to do that in a venue of this size. is you had to, like, use every, you know, square inch of the place. So they had us go up the ramp, like if you're going to go...

up to the top. There's a ramp that goes up. It's nine stories up of all incline. And then you go across, then you go down, then you go up again. Like half a mile plus of incline, right? So before Jelly gets here, I'm like, I don't know if he can do this, man. You know what I mean? He's a big guy still. Knees, cardio, all this shit. Dude, he fucking smashed it. That's incredible. He did great. Did he hire a trainer? What is he doing? I think some people... He got rid of his phone.

I know. He has a flip phone that doesn't even... I don't even know if you can get texts on it. Yeah, he just chucked his phone out. Apparently, all the years of drinking. He just gave his phone number out to so many people and they decided instead of getting a new number, which is what you should do, he's like, I'm just no phone. That's fucking awesome.

crazy i love like i used to panic when i left my phone behind now when i forget my phone i'm like oh it's gonna be a great day i left my phone i'll get it later like i'm just i feel fine it's a great feeling yeah yeah we're all prisoners We are totally prisoners. We're prisoners, and it's going to get worse. Oh, this is the thing I wanted to tell you. So some of the Bucs players came out, the offensive linemen. These are absolute beasts.

6'5", 6'6", 330. Like, just giants. Giants. They're gorillas. And we're doing all this silly competition stuff. Like we hit the golf simulator, throw a fucking spear into like a bale of hay. And then they're like, oh, we need one more thing. So we have a beer stein. so it says oh yeah he he beat fucking all pro he's been whole that's like Come on, man. But look at these fucking... Doesn't that make sense?

It does make sense, but you still go like... Those skinny guys can throw a baseball a lot faster than these dudes. It's just crazy to me, though. Not to me. The upper bodies on these dudes, I'm like, no. These guys are... Yeah, he's going to win. He's used to holding beers. Yeah. He's used to holding drinks. I couldn't do it. I tapped out. Like, my arm just gave out.

Look at him. He's still smiling. Oh, yeah. Nothing wrong. That's insane. Yeah, and then they slowly fell. I bet if he did his left arm, it would fall off. I bet he literally wouldn't be able to. He's been holding up drinks so long. Also like toasting crowds. For so long. Look at this. Yeah. He beat everybody. He should hold out and just humiliate them after he's done. Just keep going. Oh, he held it up after he was done. That big guy looks like he's ready to break.

He gave up. Look at Bert. Look at this. Just insane. He's got incredible genetics. If he wanted to be an athlete, he'd be an incredible athlete. Yeah, I think so. If he was super dedicated to it. Yeah, he's just trapped in booze. But it's also made him very rich, so I don't know what to say. It's working out. I love him. I don't want him to change, but I do. I mean, I want him to be healthy.

When we first started doing Sober October, it was essentially just because we were worried Bert was going to die. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Well, he's still here. I mean, the first one was the weight loss thing. Blood works perfect. Yeah. Yeah, it's nuts. What type of resistance is that? I don't know. A hundred and something. Yeah, I'm obsessed with, you know, that squeeze machine. Yeah. You know that thing? Oh, yeah, that measures your grip. I got 161, and I want to get 190.

Oh, so you're training for it. Yeah. Do you have one here? No. I think we do. Yeah, we do out there. Yeah, out in the hallway. But we do at the club. And so when the club, when I first did it, I think I got 147. I was like, well, this is bullshit. Yeah. And then I got up to 161 without these things. I bet. Just from working out. I bet David has a crazy grip strength. Which David? Lucas. Oh, yeah. He's a big guy. Big hands. Big hands. Jamar has one. Jamar Neighbors, I think he got one.

Damn. George Strong. That's crazy. You've seen him with his shirt off. Yeah, he's checked. But, you know, we've had some, like, big... Um, I don't know who Scott, like... The UFC had a bunch of guys do it. I forget who had the hot... But I think... I think Alex Pereira was like one.

He's a big fuck. I didn't realize how big he is. Because, you know, TV is so deceptive. And then I saw somebody I know standing next to him, and I was like, holy shit. Where's Oliveira? 97? Oh, that's crazy. He didn't even try. Michael Chandler 113 No, he's doing his right hand. Are you doing your opposite hand? Because Paul Craig, I think, is a lefty. 126. Bo Nickel. He's a lefty, too. So they're doing their opposite hand. They're doing the opposite hand. What's his? 153.

Weidman's strong as fuck. Let me see what he's got. 153. Stipe's huge. What's he got? He's a left-hander, too, yeah? Farming strength. He's a big fucking dude, though. 131. Wow, that's crazy. Other hand. 104 oh jesus christ second attempt 155. All right, so I'm stronger than all those bitches. There you go. Fuck yeah. But I'm trying to get to 190. 190's crazy. some of those Those arm wrestling guys? Oh, yeah. They have freaky forearms. Oh, yeah. I was watching this one guy who's a climber.

Who's a professional climber. Oh, when they do this. Yeah, he has this basement gym. I might have saved the video, but I think if you find it on YouTube, it's like, I've never seen strength like this. This guy has calves. Growing off of his forearm.

it's like a calf yeah and he's doing one finger I've seen it I don't understand it with like a centimeter of hold like it's the tiniest little lip that his fingers resting on and he's pulling his whole body out of the sky but i mean yeah look at that that's crazy it's not this guy the other guy is like super His forearms are at least. He's not like bodybuilder size, but...

The musculature is crazy. I saw one of those guys who I guess is in the rock climbing, mountain climbing world. He's considered one of the best. That's the guy. So this guy does a bunch of freaky shit. What is this dude today? yeah look at look at the fucking look at that one arm thing see that the size of the grip yeah look how fat that grip is like doing a one-arm chin-up is crazy look at his back it's crazy but doing a one-arm look at the size fucking forearms.

Doing a one-arm chin up with a fat grip like that is off the charts nuts. His strength must be insane. But you look at him right there, his neck and everything, he doesn't look like that strong of a guy. It's very deceptive because with climbers, you can't have, you don't need traps. You can't have, like, excess stuff. So everything is very, like, look at his forearms. Look at his grip.

But look, the size of his fucking forearms when he's doing that is crazy. See if you can isolate when he was doing that with his forearms. The NBA 82 game grind is done and now the real fun begins. The NBA playoffs are here and it's time for all the high stakes drama, clutch moments, and jaw dropping plays. I can't wait. If you're looking to make the playoffs even more exciting, DraftKings Sportsbook has you covered as an official sports betting partner of the NBA.

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For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio. Is he the one who did a workout with Larry Wheels? Did you ever see that? No, that's a different guy. But yeah, I've seen that. You've seen that? Yeah, I think I might be that. Might be. Yeah, I've seen him on YouTube for a while. And he's blown away by this guy.

Mountain climbing, if you think about it, just the amount of reps that you're picking your body weight up and holding. Like gymnasts. Who's more jacked than the guys who do the rings? They're super jacked. Look at his forearms. Back up a little second and just freeze it.

Look at, freeze it right there. Yeah. Freeze it right there. Look at that left fucking forearm. Yeah, that's crazy. That's nuts, man. There's a split in the muscle. That's a calf. Yeah, that's a calf. That's a calf. That's like a strong calf. And this is like a big endorsement for calisthenics, basically, right? Calisthenics are huge. Yeah. They're huge. That's a big part of my workout. Really? Oh, yeah. I do a lot. I still do the 100 push-ups every day and the 100 bodyweight squats.

but i do chin-ups dips and l l pull-ups you know like so you're with a close grip with the legs extended yeah i do all those they're huge yeah it's it's you want to be able to and you know how to do i do um hang from a bar like this so it's like really works the core too that's like being able to manipulate your own body weight

crucial yeah because those gymnasts are like you're like some of them like i've never touched weights i'm just doing this shit which is nuts and they have but it's not time efficient yeah because they're doing that their muscles are like that because they're doing you know eight hour

But you can get a lot done with your body with just dips and chin-ups. Dips are incredible. Yeah. So good. I mean, that was like... I think when Arnold would talk about chess, he was like, that was like the... the you know the cherry on top for the workouts was doing he's like we always would do dips and you can do weighted dips too yeah dips are so easy to do with weight or

throw a chain over your neck or put a weight vest on or something like that yeah that's another thing i found like just a 25 pound weight vest where it doesn't feel like anything when you're wearing But when you do stuff with it on, like chin-ups and pull-ups, like, holy fuck. Yeah. It's a giant difference. So different. And then when you take that thing off, you're like, oh, man. Right. So imagine being 25 pounds too heavy.

yeah and then imagine being jelly roll so jelly rolls walking around 200 pounds too heavy before at least so it's actually 300 pounds right because he wants to lose another hundred yeah so imagine just carrying around everywhere you go you got bar stuffed with plates and you're just carrying that through life that's what they're doing that's why those guys fucking lower bodies are always

Crazy when they lose weight. Oh, Ralphie May used to have the biggest calves in the world. Yeah. His legs were like carrying that. Tree trunks. Oh, my God. Yeah. Just carrying around that body all day. That's nuts. If they trim down enough, the quads are still humongous. Yeah, if Burt lost weight, he would get weak.

But you do get weaker when you lose weight. Yeah. That's a fact. Yeah, that's always it. Mass moves mass. It's also like to lose weight, to lose body fat, your body has to think something's wrong. It's very difficult to maintain... like maintain muscle mass while you're losing fat. Yeah, that's hard. You got to be real careful with everything. Yeah, that's true. And you've got to try not to lose too much weight too quick. Because a lot of people with losing weight, like...

A lot of people become food addicts, and then addicts act like addicts. And you start thinking, I've got to lose it all right now. And so you starve yourself. And you just work out eight hours a day. And, well, you're going to lose all your muscle, too. Everything. You're going to lose everything. And you're probably going to get injured. because your body's kind of like, hey, fucking idiot. Yeah.

give you that tendonitis how about a little back bulge how about a fucking sore knee how about plantar fasciitis slow the fuck down Your body tries to figure out a way to slow you down. Yeah. Slow and steady is the way, for sure. Yeah, it just sucks.

You know, you want to get, if you've realized you fucked up, it would be nice if you could just get better quick. Like, oh, I know. I just, I got a month before summer and I'm 50 pounds overweight. Fuck! Fuck. I want to lose another 10, 15 right now. What do you want to do to do it? Just dial in. It's really about consistency, I feel like, with me. My window for when I go, oh shit, is just so much smaller than it used to be. So right now I'm like, oh.

I've slid a little bit. I've been on tour. I've been doing all this shit.

i just have to tour it's hard right it's hard like i'm working fuck it cheeseburger yeah sometimes pizza sometimes it's that sometimes it's also just that like You're not getting this rhythm of... the way i'm eating and training at home which is pretty good yeah and then you get out there and it's like fuck you know we got on three planes and you're just tired you just don't do it yeah and then yeah you just order whatever to eat so you just feel it like slowly come apart but

I feel like I'm also at a place where I know if I dial in my diet, and and make sure i stay on top of like the training i can shed this 10 pretty yeah you've done it before yeah you did it pretty pretty well you know you figured it out And then you also have muscle memory now. I think it's hard when you're traveling because, you know, you're just...

Anytime you're traveling, your energy level goes down. Yeah. It's like you got to figure out things to mitigate that energy level going down. And then counterintuitively, the best way to do that. Yeah, I know. Which doesn't seem like it makes any sense because you're tired. I don't want to work out. A lot of times we do the land and lift. Got to do that. Like, right, land and go. Yep, land and go. Land and go. But it is crazy how I do a lot of three-day.

Three, four day weekends, you know, for tour. Man, a lot of times on that third or fourth day, you're like, you're in your third or fourth city and you're like, fuck, I am wrecked. Just like another plane, another time zone. You're taking a lot of vitamins? Um... I take a pretty good amount of vitamins, yeah. Yeah, that's important too. Yeah. Take a lot of vitamins. And then it's hard to be strict with your diet when you're on the road. The big one is ours.

I'm lucky in that regard because I'm not a big boozer. Yeah. I don't know how Bert does it. I started eating these David bars. Oh, those are great. Those are great. Yeah, I think Peter T is involved in that, right? I don't know if he is. Maybe. Yeah, they're delicious. They're great. Boy, they make you fart. I love farting. 28 grams of protein, 150 calories, no sugar. They're great. They're great.

Yeah, there's a bunch of good options now that you can bring with you on the road if you get hungry, keep you from eating bullshit. From eating bullshit. That's all I'm trying. Like, sometimes I go, like, Oh, it was great. Today was a great day. And then it's just dinner. So you're just like, just don't fucking ruin your day. Have you ever had carnivore snacks? Do you know what that is?

No. The carnivore snacks, ribeye, is my go-to. I bring that on the UFC broadcast. I give them to Daniel Cormier and me. We eat them. ribeyes that are just dried but it's got the fat on it. It's good. Yeah, you don't feel guilty at all. Like, if you're hungry and you need a snack, just meat and salt. Perfect. Perfect snack. And the company's called Carnivore? Yeah, Carnivore Snacks. Snacks with an X. But it's not like... It's not jerky. They describe it as like meat pastry. Yeah. It's good snack.

I like it. Yeah, just to keep from going off the rails. That's all you're trying to do is just mitigate the damage of the day. I have a whole folder on my phone saved up of food that I really can't eat. Really? I just want to look at restaurants. What do you miss the most when you are trying to eat healthy? Italian food. Italian food. Pasta. Yeah, pasta and crazy sandwiches. Oh, my God. We went to Carbone. Oh, in New York? Yeah. They got one in Vegas now, too. I know.

biggest one for a while. It's so good, dude. It's so good. That rigatoni with vodka sauce. It has a little kick. They put a little spice in it. It's good. It's tough to beat. Remember, really? It's tough to beat it just for pure that pleasure of overstuffing yourself. We were there for last summer. It was like... every day yeah you know and the thing is i didn't like blow up no no i thought i would i mean i'm sure i gained a few but i thought i was

But I think a big thing there versus here is portion sizes. You know, like, there's no such thing as they don't go, here's your pasta, here's a fucking bowl. like this right it's like it's well I think in Italy the real thing is the food's different yeah I think our It's so bad, right? I saw this lady on your show. I saw a clip talking about all these health epidemics like the full run of stats where she was like one and two for cancer and this and that was it caly means she was uh

I think she was a doctor, right? Is she a doctor? Well, I don't think she finished her doctorate or her medical school training because I think she got to the position where she realized that most metabolic diseases... are being caused by food but that's the thing is like that's the big takeaway i think from that is like you have this conversation with you know i have people all the time who travel abroad and you're just like everything in japan

amazing the food and then you look at their longevity which is like record breaking and you know when you compare it to most of the world definitely Definitely compared to ours. Yeah, we have the worst health stats in the Western world. It's our food. Because it's all like... Because corporations. Because corporations profit off keeping you fat and sick.

So the best way to make money from food is to get you addicted to food that they can sell you. So they sell you a tremendous amount of cheap, shitty food that has a bunch of preservatives and garbage. So it's potato chips and all sorts of different snacks and all sorts of different things. And then you have your enriched, air quotes, flour. It's got a bunch of shit poured into it. And it's a bunch of complex glutens in the grains. And then you have glyphosate, which other countries...

but we use everywhere. And 90 plus percent of people have glyphosate in their blood when they test it, which is Roundup, that chemical pest. We have herbicides that kill your fucking endocrine system. We have, like, we're poisoning ourselves. It's really sad. You know, we're growing stuff at home now. We have a hydroponic garden. Yeah, I talked to Christine about it. It's pretty dope. And that shit's delicious. Yeah.

the lettuce and the tomatoes and it gets all kinds of like veggies. Tastes like real food. Yeah. You do taste the difference. 100%. Yeah. Which reminds me of when you're abroad, right? Because like you... In Italy or in Japan, you have a tomato, you have a strawberry, and you're like, whoa. Yeah. And you're like, oh, this is supposed to be?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We make stuff that can sit on the shelf forever. That's why our tomatoes look like they're albino tomatoes. And they're hard. Our tomatoes are hard. Like, why is a tomato hard? Like, what is that about? Why does it stay hard? For like weeks. Just sits there. And then we just keep ingesting that. Yeah, it's terrible. And then you get all this inflammation in your body.

And, you know, we've sort of genetically modified a bunch of things so we could feed a bunch of people, so we can have large numbers of people, and there's no benefit to that. How much of this, like, do you think is related to the fact that we have so many more people than some of these places? oh yeah that's a fact but um It's not just that. So I think there's a bunch of factors and everybody wants to be real. sedentary lifestyle.

There's a large percentage of our population that doesn't move enough. They don't exercise. They don't do anything physical. So you got that. And then you got years and years and years and years of doing that, which eventually... Yeah. And so that's what the people that start showing up.

You know, it's metabolic health, right? And then you have lack of understanding of nutrition, which is they think, oh, you're some fuckhead doctor that tells you just off to eat a balanced diet, you don't need vitamins. Well, that doctor...

stupid and probably has a bunch of diseases and he's on pills himself like shut up probably never even went to through any nutrition training you know in in medical school they got about six hours crazy that Especially because we have kids in school, you realize that school still...

They don't emphasize nutrition or finance. I feel like that's another crazy thing is to keep people from understanding how finance works at all. It is crazy, right? Like you're teaching kids about how to prepare yourself for the world and you don't teach them about debt. The first thing that happens when you're a freshman in college is you walk through the student union and they go, you want a credit card? You're fucking 18. And they're like, yeah. It's got 29.9% APR. It's awesome.

Yeah. They're literally preying upon you. And the school lets it. Yeah. The school is like, yeah, go ahead. Oh, they don't give up. That's fucking crazy. You're grist for the mill. Yeah. Literally, you're paying... Fucking, you're end up paying $300 for a Coke you bought. You know what I mean? Because you're just like, like, this is insane. Yeah, it's insane. We don't teach anybody. It's really crazy. Well, also, you...

get it in their head that they're fucked because the debt that they're getting involved in with student loans is the only debt we have that you can't get rid of. Yeah. The only debt. Yeah, I can't forget that. There are people right now who have Social Security getting docked. Their Social Security is getting docked.

For their student loan. So they made it to death, and they owe money to the government for loans that did them no good at all because they're living off Social Security. So the government gets to steal more money from you. We don't have to pay you. So nuts. And meanwhile, like, today, the reality is, you can get that education. Almost all of the books on any sort of subject are available. Mine is useful. What's yours? Communications. Worked out. You're probably like, they use you to sell more.

They probably do. This guy, look, he went to our university. You should come. Learn like Tom. You know, I didn't learn anything. But how much did you have to pay to go to school? Oh, man. How much was the tuition? I think tuition... When I was there, it was something like $6,000 or $7,000 a semester. So like $12,000, $13,000 a year. Which, you know, now, fucking tuitions now are like...

$50,000, $80,000 a year. It's great. Imagine you take on that loan. You start your workforce. You have $300,000 in loans. God forbid you go to graduate. oh my god compounds and then you're never getting out of the hole i mean i think this is why some doctors and lawyers become sociopaths because you are dealing with so much debt and you realize no one gives a fuck about you so you don't give a fuck about anybody else either wow It's great for society.

It's also like, there's two things that can be true, right? I do think that you kind of have to, kids have to like, get to work and get something going and get a path in your life and when you're going to college it's like you're out of high school okay now you're on your own you're in college you got to keep up your gpa you got to get your degree let's go let's go let's go let's go so there is value

But then also, it's too much money, and you're probably not going to do anything with that degree. And if you don't have the degree, people think you're a loser. And it's very strange. It's very strange what's going on because you're allowing these corporations to prey upon children. Yeah. It's like you're an 18 year old child. You don't understand anything. You don't understand anything. And then all of a sudden you're in college and you're saddled down with unstoppable debt.

and you have this fucking circus of people around you that are also trapped. And you didn't understand what that meant, what you were signing up for. No way! It's the same reason, like... You have a conversation with somebody who's that age, and you're like, oh, you realize that our brains are different, right? Yeah, they're not developed yet. They're not fully developed yet. They don't understand it. Especially boys. Way more clearly. Yeah, boys don't get developed until they're like 25.

Girls are pretty, they can figure out the game earlier. They're not as saddled down by testosterone. Their frontal lobe develops earlier. Yeah, ours does really take until about 25. Yeah, because you're retarded. But that's also how you trick them into going to war. Yeah. You know? It's part of it. Like, hey, we need to get, you know, the Gulf of Tonkin. Terrible thing those Vietnamese did. We're going to need to send you overseas.

Try that shit on a 40-year-old guy. You're like, what? No fucking way. What happened? Let me Google. Hey, I Googled Golf of Tonkin. It turns out you guys fucking faked it. What else are you faking to get us to go to war? Oh my god, you guys fake things to start war so you can make money? That's crazy. How are you not in jail? How's no one in jail for faking things to start wars? Zero accountability. So then you're like, well, fuck.

They got me with the student loan. They got me with this. They got me with that. And you just get accustomed to life fucking you. You're just like, oh, society just fucks you over. They just take from you, take from you, and I saddle you with debt. I'll tell you this theory. what you're talking about applies to I think extends to our appearances and what I mean is

Today, a lot of times people talk about how people wear, like, fucking flip-flops and pajamas. You talking about Bert again? Yeah. Well, he's not here. No. To defend himself. I think this is real.

But like you get on a plane and you see people in pajamas, right? Right. And 50 years ago, they'd be like in a suit. And I think part of the reason why people... their appearance is this i think some of it is tied to a lack of hope meaning that so many years ago you would embark on your path in life thinking that there's hope i can have the american dream i can own the house i you know i can get the things i want to get and so many people today are like there is no hope so fuck it i'll i'll just

I'll go out in my fucking sleepwear. There's a little bit of that. I think there's a connection to that. Well, there's a lot to that, too, that if the government wants... If they want control and power, which is ultimately what every government wants is not... like every government wants control and power what's the best way to acquire control and power have the people give up have them give up yeah it's just fucking I give up I give up fuck

Flip-flops. Fuck it. I don't care. Because that means I'll do what you say. I'll do what you say when you give up. That's what's really scary to me about AI, automation, and then ultimately universal basis. You're going to get a lot of giving up. And then the government's going to... Yeah. And then it's going to be haves and have-nots on a scale that we've never seen before. When you have companies that are in charge of these automated taxi services, and that's the only way people get around.

And the government gives you a certain amount of credits so you don't have to be ever worried about traveling. You have credits. As long as you're a good boy, Tom. Yeah. As long as you follow the rules. As long as you don't say anything crazy about Israel. As long as you don't do anything nutty, you know, about vaccines.

As long as you don't step out of line when it comes to the election, don't say anything crazy about this or about that. I mean, take your vaccines. And if that's a real possibility that they're just going to extract. extract money Or attempt to. Attempt to control. This is the grand battle of control. The more they have power over narratives. It's also like...

There's things that are going on right now. Like we were just talking about, some friends this weekend were talking about these bot farms, like this evidence of bot farms that people have used to go and attack people. Like, like... Like, a bunch of different countries use bot farms. I'm sure a bunch of different corporations use bot farms, too. But no one's getting in trouble. Like if you can pretend that you're mass groups of people that are getting upset about something.

You can just pretend. And there's no... You can pretend. You can hire people to go protest. and fly them in on jets. Like, that's happening right now. There was this guy in Maine, and he made this video where he was hired to drive these people to the airport. And he's trying to figure out, like, where are all these people going? I'm driving this busload, two busloads full of people there. And they were saying, well, we're going to approach.

And like, what protest? And then he goes and Googles where they're flying to. He's like, oh, this is a paid protest. They're paying people to show up and pretend that it's a protest. So it's like there's pop-it maps. that are manipulating world events, and that's legal. You're allowed to pay people to go protest, which seems like that should be illegal. You shouldn't be able to pretend that you have an organic...

Well, yeah. Uprising against some... Well, it's giving people this illusion. Yes. Which is the entire Kamala Harris campaign. Yeah. I mean, that's what it was. The whole thing was out. Did you see that? It was before he left. The former FBI director talking about how China just doesn't play ball with any international rules. Oh, I'm sure. And he's like how they don't respect IP at all. Oh, he's like, they'll just come in.

And they'll get a spy to give them, let's say, the IP of some whatever industry, wind energy. They'll just take it and be like, we have it now. Yeah. Start this company. And then like this company goes bankrupt because they were, and they just. Fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. They made shit. Whole Apple stores. Yeah. That are fake apples.

It's so insane. Everything's fake. Fake laptops, fake phones. I saw a guy too because like the evolution. What happens if you try to get online with one of those? I have no idea. Can you get an Apple ID? Like does it work? it can't I'm imagining that it can't but like you know I always think about the fact with AI

how we're in, we're in like version one. Right. And we're all blown away by it already. Right. Right. And it was a, there was a watch guy online who was like, I have two like Daytonas. Oh yeah. And he was like, He goes, this is the best one I've ever seen. Fakes. Yeah. The fake, he had to take it apart and to look at parts that were inside. Yeah. Like a spin wheel. He goes, oh, this is missing.

So which begs the question, like, what is it? Like, what are you buying? Do you want it from this company only? Or do you want a Rolex Daytona? Like, what do you want? Well, I mean, I think if in the case of that, you know that the... movements, the actual inner workings of the real one are far superior. Are they? I think so. Why? Yeah. Well, I assume that. What if the other one has a 72-hour battery or a power supply, too? What if you 3D print every single aspect of the Y?

that's the same thing pretty close i guess but it can be the same thing like we're not talking like like my watch like there's a panoramic yeah this could be fake i mean i bought it from my friend so i'm sure it's real yeah but like It's not a fake Ferrari. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you've got a fake Ferrari, like, oh my god, these tires have no traction. This suspension sucks. I hate the idea of fake watch, though. Right, but why? Because you're

Maybe it's because I used to be poor. I also just don't respect... the copying. Right, it's bullshit. Yeah. I wouldn't buy one because you're contributing to some, but it's kind of funny. It is kind of funny. You can get one for $40. That's like a $7,000 watch. It's really crazy. It's insane. And it's insane that it's tricking these watch experts, right? But I don't really understand the... Yeah, look at the...

So one of those is fake? Yeah, the right. The one on the right is fake? Yeah. Yeah, I'd buy that. Looks perfect. I'll take it. how much he's pointing out what can you see the difference like who imagine who knows this on the spot well also on the spot right yeah also my vision sucks mine does too So I'd have to like take it out and do this. Like, I don't know. Like this one, I can't even.

Or read the date, rather. But I mean, the tiny-ass date windows, that's a struggle. Like, if it's dark in the room, I'm not reading that. That's incredible, though. The replicas are crazy. They're so good. But again, try making a replica 911 Turbo S. Good luck, fuckface. Good luck, yeah, I know. Good luck, fuckface. But you can make one of those. But wait, how to, because this I, okay, I understand at least.

what you're doing in the watch thing, right? Then the person buys the... far less expensive one and they get the feeling I guess that people don't know you have the real one right right right but if you're getting an Apple product a fake Apple product you don't know you're getting a fake Apple product so they're going the whole thing's a scam the whole store's fake And everyone knows it on it. It's an Apple store. Do you think people that are hired think their fucking logo?

Apple fake factory raided in China. This is 10 years ago, though. It goes on to say that it tricked the employees who thought they were working at every Apple store. That's the craziest part. Yeah, it's like its layers are severing. it just goes deeper and deeper and deeper yeah that's really crazy you ever um followed youtube channel stance elements uh-uh it's um it's it's a guy just works on

dope shit. And one of the things he's doing, he's building his own Ferrari F40. That's cool. So instead of buying one for like $3 million, which is, okay, I'm going to say something that's going to piss off these Ferraris. uh it ain't worth it okay it's not worth three million dollars it's not that good it's not if it was new today you'd be like this should be taken off the market right like this thing has zero fucking traction control but because it's a class

It's worth like a ton of money. So what he's doing is making it better. Stance works. Did I say stance elements? Yeah, that's the... Oh, that's the... The b-boys. The b-boys. That's the breakdancers, which, by the way, stance elements. How did I fuck? Stance Elements, by the way, is also amazing. We can talk about that. But this guy, Stance Work, This is his own, that's not a Ferrari. He bought all the parts.

online. So he bought all the body panels online and then he made his own frame and then he bought a Ferrari engine from like a different model of Ferrari and he's putting that in. But this is like a multi... Month journey that this dude has been on that I've been watching all the videos whenever he has a new video I watch it. He does a lot of dope shit but this is a guy that like really loves cars and he's super smart. And when he's talking about cars, it's fascinating. Cause like,

He's also a fan of the original M5, which I've thought about getting one of those. Not very fast, but apparently like super engaging driving experience. The original M5, which I think was like... I want to say it was like two. In what year? 80-something. 80-something. Yeah, which, by the way, I think it was 88, maybe. Back then, that was a lot. I have an 89 M3 that I bought.

e30 m3 oh yeah and i have a s54 engine going into it oh jesus so that should be how much is horsepower is in that i don't know that's more than it came with i have an e Those are fun. Yeah. It's so balanced. Yeah. It's like such an engaging driver. That's what I'm into. I'm into that. I'm not into chasing the lower 0-60 times. Yeah, that's nonsense. Like, if you ever use that on a public road, you're an asshole.

But engaging cars, you could drive the speed limit and enjoy the shit out of them. True. Just fun just going around a corner and just accelerating to 60. They're fun. That's fun. You feel more like an old air-cooled Porsche. Yeah. You feel it. You feel it. Did you get that? You had one being built. Yeah, it's not done yet. It's real close. That's the RSR project. Yeah. It's like 300 Meanwhile, I have some crazy... What do you got? This Assetto Fiorino 296 GTB.

It's like 700, 800 horsepower. Christ. Yeah. I watched, I've seen your blazer, but I watched a video on it. Yeah. Of those guys, the Velocity Motorsports guys. Awesome, yeah. They're doing cool shit. Velocity did. They really went out with that one. That one's great. They do Scouts and Broncos, but they also just started doing Mustangs. Oh, nice. I took one of the Mustangs out. Oh. Very fun. I think 67 Mustangs. So you get that beautiful style. Did you send me that? No. The green one?

No, that was a different one. Every time I see something cool, check this shit out. I sent you the other one. What did I send you? I sent you that... That Julia, that Italian one that the guy came to my place. Oh, yeah. That was fun as shit. The Alfa Romeo. Yes. I've seen that online getting reviewed. It's a Restomod Alfa Romeo. I don't trust my people. No? No. I have one of my people's vehicles. But generally, I don't.

I just think they're eating pasta and staring at ass and they're not going to do a good job. My car is made by either Germans who do meth or... Total. That's what it was. Oh, wow. Yeah, dude. I told one of these. This guy came. Ooh, baby. Look at that. It's fucking rad. I did like it a lot. I didn't order one. I didn't order it. He's making a prototype for a whole new model so i was like i don't know that's so sick that looks like a james bond car it does god damn

It's 100% custom. Ooh, I bet that thing flies. Dude, I was driving down Fairfax in L.A. In the rain. And he turned off the traction control. Oh, no. Yeah. Turned off. He turned it off. Why'd he turn it off? He's like, let it run. Explode emotion. Oh, no. And guess what? The emotion almost ended up wrapped around a fucking light pole. Did you spin? Dude, I was like, I corrected it, but I was like. panic and I was like fucking driving this guy's. That's the fear of losing it in a Porsche.

That rear engine whip, you know, that understeer that happens or oversteer. What is it called? Supply throttle, something throttle. Oversteer. When you lift. When you lift. Left throttle. Oversteer. Yeah. And then the back end goes on you. Oh, yeah. That's a weird design. Like having the engine out back like that. This thing also happens in everybody's mind who hasn't.

It's literally something you have to be trained, which is that when you're in a car and you're at a certain rate of speed and you're approaching a turn or something, you feel anything going on you. you take your foot off the throttle, and what you don't realize is that that is going to make things worse because the momentum and the weight

are going to be carried through. And actually, the only thing that will keep you from usually losing it is to stay on throughout, not necessarily give it a ton. You need that momentum to carry you through it. And so it's just something that you... Because there's countless videos of somebody in their new fucking car just going, and they just go into a tree. I just watched one on a new GT3 RS. I've seen that one.

He's like 18. And he did exactly that. He hits the turn, off throttle, tries to correct. Bye. Bye-bye. Fucking painful to watch. But that is a bad element of that design. The rear weight. Yeah. And also, it's like, is that really the best way to do it? Because, you know, everybody always said that the Cayman is the better car. If they just gave it the same sort of love that they give the Porsche. I fucking love that car. I love it. It's like my... Heart is with that car.

If you go, what's the one you are in love with the most? It's still that car. But isn't it interesting that, like, that card is not as prestigious? It's not as prestigious, yeah. Why is that? That seems stupid. It's a whole thing, too. And if you have, like, you'll see people like, ah, you got the Cayman. You should have gotten the 911. I'm like, you should drive this.

Yeah, but people that say that are all retarded. They kind of are. Yeah. Anybody that says that is an idiot. You don't know anything about cars. Mid-engine. Because you have a Dinan, right? No, it's not Dinan. What's the company? Dinan did my BMW. Yeah. What's your company? For that one, DeMond. Yeah, Rick DeMond did the upgrade on that. Yeah, so what that is is what it should be from Porsche. Yeah. They should take that big, juicy...

GT3 RS engine, or even crazier, take that GT2 RS. Throw it in that bitch. It just upsets 911 owners. It just fucks up there. prestige. If that upsets you, then you need to go find something else. You need to go do mushrooms on the mountaintop somewhere. By the way, did you like that? I don't know what you're talking about.

Did you ever drive the GT4 RS they came out with like a year or two ago? No, I didn't. I heard it. I didn't drive it yet. I'm sure it's dope, but it's also an automatic. It's all automatic. yeah like what are we doing why are you buying a street car are you a crazy track guy because that's a track car okay which is fine yeah which is fine yeah but

But for the average person that like enjoy, you like make an enthusiast car. That's a goddamn three pedal. Yeah. Make, make a manual. Well, thank God they still do. Yeah. They make some. I mean, a lot of places just don't. It's them and BMW. Ford still makes them. They still do it with their Mustangs. I can't believe that Ferrari...

doesn't realize that if they did just a limited run. Oh my God, it would sell like crazy. It would sell so crazy. Yeah, they gave up. Lamborghini gave up. I wish they would. Thank God Porsche didn't. No, I know. But they did with some cars. Like, a lot of their cars, you can't get the GTS now in a 5-speed? You can't. Or, excuse me, a 6-speed or a 7-speed, whatever the fuck they have now. You can't get, I don't think you can get the ass.

You can't get the turbo. No, you can't get the turbo, yeah. You have to get the T or the regular, maybe you can get the regular 911. I think you can get a regular 911 Carrera. GT3 you can get still, but you can't get the GT3 RS. Like, come on. Just shut up. I think the audience should inform them. They should know that their fan base wants all that. It's like what pisses me off about Corvette too. Like you guys have the most dope shape.

The CA Corvette is so sick, and you're putting out these insane ones like the Z06 and the ZR1, but it's still... People want to. I don't know. It's got to be like, all that has to be like cost analysis, right? It's a little bit of that. And what is that? Rogue? Yeah. I kind of quit.

I thought I was going to have a hard time. I quit him over the weekend. I did nothing. I was like, this is easy. I think I'm lucky. I think, yeah. I don't think I get physically addicted to stuff that way. Except coffee. I've done that one where I took the whole day off coffee and I was like, why am I fucking yawning? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Coffee gets me too. Headaches. But I like coffee so much and coffee's everywhere. I'm like, I don't.

No. I didn't get headaches last time I tried to quit coffee. I quit for a couple days, and I was like this. But the nicotine pouches were nothing. That's great. It was super easy. I feel like I have some of that where I'm not that physically addicted to it. Dude, I have friends that have like anything. I had a guy who came over here to do a podcast, and he saw that someone had sent us some Kratom stuff that I wound up throwing out. I was like, oh.

Yeah. And he's like, don't take that. I can't get off of it. Get that Kratom away from me. I've got a real problem with it. I'm like, really? I know someone 18 years on it. What? Yeah. What? 18 years on a shitty opium? Well, because they were using it to get off of opiates. Oh, God. And they can't go without it. Wow.

But the high is so, like, whatever. Yeah, it's not. I tried it, and then people were telling me, be careful, be careful. Oh, Duncan loved it. We had some at the club. Yeah. And Duncan's like, hey, man, you got any more of that? got any more of that liquid heroin man i was like keep it away from duncan yeah he's so funny dude he's the best he's the best but we like had a whole box of it there

Ron White had left there, and it was gone by Tuesday. I got in there on Tuesday. Where did it all go? No, it was all Dunkin'. It was all Dunkin'. We drank all of them. I was drinking two and three a day, man! I go, you're not even supposed to drink one a day. It's like a half a dose. Yeah. Which is really... Like why did they make one of them?

Beat two doses. Two doses. Yeah, that's crazy. It's a tiny little shot. That's a good way to get you onto it. Yeah, it's like when you buy a bag of chips and it says like how many calories in it per serving. Six chips. Like, why is this? This little baggie is not even a single serving. You know I'm going to eat more than that one bag. Of course they know. Piece of shit. Yeah. Garbage tactic to get people into it. It's so predatory. It's just lies. You're lying about the amount of calories.

That's so funny. But I think I'm very lucky. Because I know people that get addicted to weed. I have gone a long time without weed and never had any problems. Yeah, people get physically addicted. I didn't really realize that was a thing. I think it's just different genetics. It totally is. Look at Bert. A normal person who drinks as much as him would be dead. Yeah. You'd have real liver problems, and he doesn't have any problems. He's in the gym in the morning. It's crazy.

So it's like you just got to deal with the cards you dealt. Like, why don't I have four aces? Well, you don't. So what are you going to do? Yeah. I'm going to just sit here and fucking complain about everything or what? You got to figure it out. Yeah. Figure it out, bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Figure it out. You need, you know, everybody needs love. Everybody needs support, but everybody also needs figure it out. There's not enough of that. There's really not enough of that. Because you really...

It's like you don't gain anything by doing the like, how come I don't get this? It's like, how come I'm not 6'6"? I don't know. I'm not. Just deal with it. Yeah, you got to just deal with it. I think that's a real problem where people, you know. If you think about like the... You remember that documentary, The Secret? That stupid documentary. All you have to do is think about things and you can make them happen. Not really. That's bullshit. But it's a part of it.

It's a part of making things happen. Like, you can't just say, I'm going to... fucking breathe underwater. I'm just going to think about it until I can do it. You can't do that. Give it a shot. Yeah, there's physical limitations to the human frame. There's physical limitations for your particular human.

yeah you know you can't get taller you can't you can lose weight but you can't you can't really do much other than that yeah you can kind of get in good shape for what you got but what you got is what you got what you got yeah um But there's a bunch of people that just think about their problems. That's an obsession, and what it does is it carries you through time without having to deal with the problem.

Because you just talk about the problem. That's a big one. I know so many people who do that. It becomes your focus is your problems rather than your solutions. Do you know how many people who live in Guatemala in a fucking dirt floor? Shaq would love your problems. Yeah, exactly. Your problems are not that big a problem if you're living in America and you have your health. You need that perspective change from people. Exactly. Yeah, there's a big thing of like...

If your problems become your identity. Because I know people like that, right? Have you ever seen that video? The final boss of Woke, it's like this one trans man who's like, I'm a disabled trans man. I'm also on... food stamps. I also have like a real person. And it's,

Donald Trump is trying to erase me. And it's like, this is the identity. This is existential battle, but this final boss has everything wrong with... him yeah you're not him you're a girl pretending to be a man so it's like you've got everything wrong and it just keeps going on and have you seen this jamie do you know it is

sounds like somebody should try to get on stage no big fat stupid face it's not gonna work the whole thing is just like it's just it's so crazy that people will just like There's a value and a currency to being a victim. So they'll add stuff. Social media has also helped that a lot. Because there's plenty of people that don't want to deal with their shit that'll go, yes, girl, you go, yeah. Society's doing this to you.

Did you hear about that lady that got fired from Equinox in Manhattan? She was late. 47 times in 10 months. And she sued because of racism. She said she got fired for racism and she won. She won. It's a jury and she won $11 million. No. Yes, she did. No. She was like 47 times. Not only that, like you're working at Equinox. Like you could work for all of time and you'll never make $11 million.

You're not going to make $11 million working in Equinox. But yet you won. And she only worked there for 10 months. She was late 47 times in 10 months. And that's why they were firing her? Like, they're like, you're just perpetually late. They're like, bitch, you are always late. And then she's like, that's so racist. That's crazy. And she won. And she took him to court and won.

They're definitely going to appeal that shit. Of course they're going to appeal. But the thing is, when you have a jury, you have a jury of people so fucking stupid, they don't get out a jury. yeah exactly and they might be like yeah fuck equinox man that fucking fuck the man man because that guy's just too lazy to go to the gym so he's like fuck of course

Not just that. It's a corporation. You don't think of it as an individual. That's just a company that's going to fuck you over. That's why people don't feel bad stealing from more. You don't feel like you're stealing. If someone was working in your house and they were stealing from you, like they stole your fork, it's like, where's my fucking fork? This is bullshit. And then you find out a guy who worked for you stole your fork. You're fucking fired. But if an office, if someone like...

takes a fork home. Like if you have a kitchen in your office, we use a bunch of forks for staff. Yeah. And someone takes that fork, it's no big deal. It's the office's fork. We just need to order more forks, man. These fucking forks keep disappearing. And you go over to Tom's house one day, and, like, Tom's got four of the office forks. Like, did you steal the office forks? I forgot. I just keep forgetting to bring them back.

Because they don't belong to somebody. Right, exactly. It's not a human. It's a corporation, which is also why corporations can act. fucking psychopaths yeah because they're also not a human so they can just do whatever the fuck they have to do which is why our food supply so bad because they're just trying to maximize profit they literally have a duty to maximize profit my mom definitely of corporations as they can...

Of course. And I remember my dad used to tell a story that when they first got married, they were at a Holiday Inn and they were leaving. And then he was like, what is that in the suitcase? And it was their towels. And she was like, the towels. And he's like, you can't take that. She was like, why? Because it belongs to the Holiday Inn. It's theirs. And she was like, they have like a hundred of them. And he's like, yeah, it's not ours. And she was like, it's fine.

and like everywhere I've gone with her she's like you know she'd be like can I take this that's so funny we've been we've been places where I've been like hey Sorry, my mom wondering if we could take this glass. She makes you ask. Yeah. And then... I saw a video you were showing your mom these clips. Oh, yeah. The clips from your new Netflix show. Oh, fucking amazing. It was amazing. I knew it was going to be here.

killer i was like she's gonna hate it and they were like okay so we set up a private screening for her it's also like why am i watching this i don't know if you know but you're my mom it's so funny she's like dude she fucking she hated the show so much she's like sure she told she came over yesterday for Mother's Day and I was like she goes so because that on the rest of that thing she made me promise that we're going to cut the first

the first story yeah she's like you're definitely not gonna use that right so eventually i was like yeah we're cutting it And so yesterday she was like, did you cut it? I go, of course not. It's fucking, it's Netflix's. And she was like, you pros and you lied to me. And I'm like, mom, I can't be like, hey, don't air the first one.

She's like, well, that means you lied to me, so I'm never coming to a show again, and I'm never going to do anything related to any of your stuff. And I go, promise? I would love if you never came to a show again.

Do you know how much of a fucking burden it is to have to babysit when you're there? I was talking to Shane Gillis about a bit he does where people are getting upset. People he knows are getting upset about a bit. Oh, yeah. And he's like, yeah, I'll stop doing that. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. She found out, by the way, I was on Chrissy D and Giannis' podcast the day.

the pope died or the day after i was in new york and we're podcasting i was like oh because my mom's like hardcore catholic and i was like let's call and just check on her, and I go, we'll just try to see if maybe the Jews did it. So, I call her, I'm like, did you hear about the Pope? And she's like, I am David. I don't know what happened, if he was sick, if it was the juice. And she's like, what? And like, we had to cover our mouths. We had to cover our mouths.

and mute the phone she's like she goes this is the craziest call i've ever received the pop died do you think the jews did i had to hang up the phone and then like A week later, she goes, I was on YouTube and I find that You called me on a show to talk about this. She's funny. She found it. She found the clip, yeah. She found an endless well of us fucking with her on YouTube. Oh my god, that's so funny. Speaking of the juice, have you seen fucking Kanye's new song? Bro. Bro. What is... What?

here's the thing what first of all kind of catchy well that's the problem with it that's the problem it's like the guy from production like he's never lost a step he can make a beat he can like he's so talented he's a genius he's a talented producer man I do think it's like First of all, I think people are kind of done asking him questions because most of the shit he puts out is like self-release kind of commentary or thoughts. Is he saying just...

It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. But there is a thing where that song is like, what are you doing, dude? What are you doing? It's the ultimate pushing back? Yeah, I guess. But there is like... Like, I think I have a pretty... you know let things go kind of vibe to me obviously your fucking show yeah the show's ridiculous it's a ridiculous show and i've always been like yeah say whatever you're gonna say but i do think like making a catchy song

About that. I'm like, what are you doing, man? Like you're just getting at a minimum You're just gonna get more people that think it's cool to say like I think the minimum. Well, I think that's part of the progress program yeah i think it's part of what he's trying to do but i mean is that cool to do i guess if you're like well it's fun to troll the masses and get them to do that okay but what i'm saying is that like at a minimum you're gonna get

less educated people to go like, this is a fun thing to say. And you're like, I mean, is that good? You really want people just walking around and being like, you know, it's a tight man, how Hitler looks like that. fucking insane. It's crazy. It is crazy. but it's also kind of a sign of the times i guess this is a chaotic world we're living in yeah and it's like okay this is this kind of highlight

The benefits... I mean, I want to say this, like, carefully. Because I don't want to think any... I want to say real clearly. I don't support people saying... I don't think it's a good thing to say. I don't say it. I certainly don't think... I don't think any racism is good. I don't think anti-Semitism is good. I don't think anti... Christianity is good I don't think Asian hate is good I don't think anything is good but

There's a benefit to just letting people talk. Like, let people say whatever the fuck they want to say, even if it sucks. This is the benefit of Twitter. but this is also the bad part it's like the fucking song has so many millions of hits yeah on twitter it's been banned from every platform but is it good to ban things from platforms

Or is it better to let it be out there and let people talk about it? Because if you ban it, then people want to hear it more. That's true. And then it becomes more popular, and then it kind of supports what he says. which is that there's this concerted effort, if you talk about Jewish people, that they're going to remove you from everything, remove you from banking, which is what he's saying, they run everything. So if they didn't...

Like if it was just you were talking shit about Puerto Ricans, look what happened to Tony. Nothing. Yeah. He's doing great. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if there's certain people that you're allowed to pick on. and make jokes about or mock or say something. and you can get away with it. Yeah. Well, I think he's made his point. I think we all get it now. It's never going to end. But how does it end? This is the question. When I was watching that song,

first of all, I was by myself when I first saw the song. I was like, what is this? Yeah. Like, no way. Yeah, yeah. I was like, no way. No way. And I'm watching on my phone like, yo. And then my first thought was, how does this end? Because this ends.

This is going to end. There's going to come a time where they're going to realize, like, this is a problem. Yeah. So how does it end? Does it end in assassination? Does it end in... There's definitely people that want to kill him. Financial ruin. Yeah. I don't know what his financial situation is. I know that there's been all these, over the last five years, There's been times where his net worth has been reported at such a crazy amount. And then I remember funds were frozen.

and he was like, I don't have anything, and then it was all back. I don't know what his financial situation is. Well, they can't steal your money, but they can debank it. Yeah, where no one will bank with you. So it's like, how does that work? Where do you get your ATM card? Is it from the bank of fucking Portugal? What do you have to do? Like, how does that work? You know what I thought about when I was watching that video? I was like, how do you get

I don't know. However many actors... That's an issue. That's an issue. I think it's crazy. I think a lot of people would be like, what? That's the easy part. You put on a casting call in LA, everyone's soulless. They have no fucking soul. Nuts. They just want to get famous. You're going to do a project with Kanye? Okay, let's go. Let's do it. Also, I'm just acting.

Just like that guy named Glorious Bastards wasn't really a Nazi. Right. I'm not really a Nazi. Listen, man. I gotta do what I gotta do. I got kids to feed. Yeah. It's nuts. It's pretty nuts. He's super talented, man. One of my thoughts after hearing that song was like, man, I wish he would release this song with a different hook.

yeah personally no i know he's not going to but that's what i one of my thoughts was i was like man i wish he would it's so crazy it's so crazy because his last album before that was a banger it's like he came out of the gate showing people that like you still got it like yeah you might have

pulled me off all these platforms you might have debanked me you might have taken away my yeezy deal with adidas but damn i still got it and he's and that one was released everywhere right yeah yeah oh man that's in the spotify playlist that we playing the green room all the time. You know, there's some fucking killer songs.

so he's he's classics yeah classics he's got so many bangers yeah but you know this one he's just like letting people i i guess in his eye i mean i don't know it but i guess he's like i'll do whatever the fuck i want i'm gonna say whatever the fuck i want yeah clearly so i'm gonna do the one thing that you're never ever ever supposed to do i'm gonna make a catchy song with heil hitler yeah yeah

It's just like, whoa! That is the ultimate, like, I'll do whatever the fuck I want. Yeah, and you had to say, like, in the casting, there's, like, a description of all the stuff. If you want to be a part of this production, you have to be comfortable with swastikas. Because that was in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a diamond encrusted swastika. That's also insane, dude. By the way, you know a juice, hold him that. Probably.

Or at least supply the diamonds. Where the diamonds come from? That's insane. The Jewish people have been controlling diamonds for a long time. That's insane. They're very smart about the diamonds. Because the diamonds aren't even really... You know what's fucking crazy in jewelry? Because see, this is one thing I don't trust about. There's certain businesses where you're like, I don't know what I'm looking at. Right. So like a car, for instance. You have the reference.

To go, like, how much should this cost? Right. Right? Right. So, like, it gives you some personal. Right. You see a Lamborghini, you know, that's, like, a $300,000 car. And you can, like, check with people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, a piece of jewelry. Right. This guy who I bought a watch from was like, this jewelry is like, you know, this ring or whatever. It's like, whatever, $50,000 or something. I was like, oh, wow. He's like, do you want it? I was like, I don't know.

and and then like a month or two later he he sent me the same thing he's like trying to move this now um do you want it for like 20 what and i was like I was like, it's 20. He's like, yeah, I'm just trying to move it. What does that mean? What are you all on it? What's it really cost? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And so you kind of go like, wait a minute. So I was going to pay.

$30,000 more for it? That would just go to you? That's so gross, right? It is gross. I would never throw soccer again. It just really turned me off, man. Well, you know, it's really cool. fake diamonds that are real diamonds. Yeah. Girls don't want them. Right. I was reading this whole thing about the demand and supply for lab created diamonds that are absolutely diamonds. they're not fake diamonds it's a real diamond but it's not a diamond that's pulled out of the ground by

It's just lab generated. Yeah, it's not like a blood diamond. And girls are like, I don't want that shit. I don't want it. It's not real. I'll know it's not real. I want someone to suck. Well, it's not that. What it is is the same thing as not wanting a fake Rolex. Even though it's like physically the exact same thing as a Rolex. But that's at least a brand. Like if you're a person who loves engineering and craftsmanship. Like I don't want to, you know.

someone to rip off someone's work yeah like that's art like a like your watch that's a piece of art it's a piece of art yeah so that makes sense you wouldn't want a fake piece of art but a diamond is just It's just elements compressed over time. They figured out how to do that where they make perfect diamonds. Fraction of the cost, I'm assuming, right? Yeah, but the demand is super low. Yeah. Wow. 99% less. Ninety-nine. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Especially the biggins. Yeah, I was going to say, you get like a three-carat diamond. Yeah, right, right, right. Little ladies don't want them. Yeah. I want a real one. It's so crazy. I don't know. That's one of the things that I feel so... Do you think I'm cheap? They don't want that shit, dude. out that what you got her was like the The shittier version. But it's not even shittier. It's like lab-created diamonds are actual diamonds. It's literal alchemy.

Remember in the old days, they were trying to figure out a way to use all these chemicals to make gold? That was what alchemists are for. Kings would spend insane amounts of money on these alchemists. Trying to get these alchemists to figure out how to manufacture. I think I can make gold for you, sire. I need a laboratory. And these dudes are sniffing fucking mercury all day and dying young.

It's the craziest thing to spend on. But imagine if the lady's like, no, you made that gold. I don't want it. I don't want it. I want real gold. That's from Africa that came out of the ground. Yeah, we just want the real thing. I want the real stuff that they picked out of the river. I want the real stuff they got from Alaska. I want the real stuff. But it's just gold, baby. It's gold. It's just an element. Who cares where it's from? Now.

I want stuff that's forged inside of a sun. How many women out there do you think to rock something that they're so proud of? that if they go to get it assessed, it has to happen all the time. It happened to my family. It did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to say hope, but someone...

not like close, but broke up with the guy and found out that it was a cubic zirconium. That's hilarious. LOL. That's very funny. But perfect for that guy. I was like, that guy's such a piece of shit. I knew it. I could have told you it was a fake diamond. That's so funny. I laughed so hard. Yeah. So she took it to the jeweler. Yes. Well, she's like, I got to break up with this guy.

I don't have any money. She's living with this shyster, this fucking guy who's like a just dirtbag, but had some money, but not real money. Just like a bullshit artist. He's like, oh, he's a bullshit artist. I gotta leave him. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Just chill out. Like, I'm going to, you know, have 10 grand. Yeah. I'll sell this right. I'll give you a hundred bucks. It's worth nothing. They didn't want anything. It's not worth anything.

fake diamonds worth zero money looks exactly like like if you're in a party yeah if you go to a party if you're a woman you have this beautiful big ass fucking rock and you walk in Look at her ring. Oh, my God. It's sparkling. Nobody knows. Nobody has any idea that it's fake. No one knows. I mean, literally, again, it's not a fake Ferrari. Well, that was the thing.

Chad Ochocinco the football player because like a lot of the athletes they rock diamond earrings and stuff he was like he was like yeah I wear fakes he's like especially because like if I'm Whether I was on the field or going out, he was like, I have a real one at home. He was like, I go out, I wear the face. Well, he saved a lot of money. A lot of money. He was also always very on top of not overspending. Very smart dude. Very smart dude. For everything except fighting.

He has this very bizarre idea. Like him and Shannon Sharp argue all the time. This bizarre idea that he could fight MMA guys and beat them. Oh, that's crazy. Well, it's the reason why he was such a great athlete. Yeah. Confidence. Crazy confidence. It's just unstoppable belief in yourself, which, listen, he's such a great athlete that if he did compete in MMA, he probably would be a world champion.

because he's got that much like a michael jordan decided he was gonna if mma existed when michael jordan was alive he'd probably be the light Right. Probably figure out a way to fuck everybody else up. And also like this drive.

this championship mindset this is just rare humans that choose to focus on football or soccer or basketball or whatever it is you know the thing they get obsessed with but if they put the same amount of energy from the same amount at an early enough age like there's certain like barriers that kind of and one of them is like physical. Like once you're like 36 years old, if you start boxing at 36 years old, I don't care what you're not.

yeah it's too hard it's too hard to like yeah it's also what you saw with like Francis Ngannou when you fought Anthony Joshua yeah That's the difference. You can't just jump on in and fight like an Olympic gold medalist who's been doing it his whole life. He's going to do things to you. You're not going to know what he's doing and he's going to crack you.

But the reason why he thinks that, like Ochocinco thinks that, is because... fucking monster athlete yeah like he knows how hard he works he knows how gifted he is yeah but he just thinks but if you know you put him in there with a guy like a dracus duple c That would be a fucking mall. Of course. No, he's thinking, yeah, because he was a fucking precision route runner. Great. When someone's mounting you, drilling you.

elbows in your eye socket. I know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You don't know how to block them. You don't know how to stop the rear naked choke. You don't know how to stop the trip. You don't know which way to roll on a heel hook. They're like, I'll figure that shit out. No, you won't. You're going to get your knees ripped apart. You're going to get knocked unconscious.

It's like reality. But I love the fact that people think that way. There's a lot that think like that outspoken. It's my mentality, bro. My mentality is different. I can't lose. I understand. I have that stupid part of my brain too, but I'm also smart enough to go, hey, fuck face.

I have two people in my head. I have the general who tells me what to do, and then I have the soldier that's like wait a minute this is gonna get me killed this is fucking I'm not running with a hand grenade until all these bullets fly in my way and you know enough seen enough fighting to know what your limits are especially with martial arts is the big one it's like you don't know man there's little tiny dudes that can choke you to death and you have no idea you're in your mind

new shit to me this motherfucker I can bench 300 pounds the next thing you know arm drag he's got your back yeah

I need a body triangle on you. You don't want to tap out, but you have to. You have to. You're dead. You're dead. It's over. That's why it's good. It's good to even trial those things. I've done a little bit of... you know boxing striking i've done a little bit of jujitsu it's great to have the awareness you're like oh wow it's a nice wake-up call yeah yeah when i first started doing jujitsu i was already like a very accomplished

I was really good at striking. So I was like, I know how to fight. And then I went to jiu-jitsu club. my ass kicked every day yeah i was like this is crazy i was so wrong i have this completely distorted idea of my abilities yeah Yeah, it really humbles you, right? A lot of people walking around out there, especially men, just think they know how to fight. It's a terrible thing to find out on YouTube, to see people find out.

that you don't really know how to fight. You just think you're going to bluff your way. I think that's the male thing. Men think they know how to fight, that they're funny, that they fuck good, and that they can drop.

those are like the four things I can do all this shit yeah delusions there's like manly things you don't want someone to be better than you at yeah and you get delusional things those four are the ones that like come up the most yeah pool's another one shit pool yeah a lot of guys pretend they're good at pool yeah i've had a bunch of dudes say they play good pool i'm like really let's find out

Let's find out. Do any ever surprise you that they are pretty good? Never. Never? Not one. Not one? Nope. Wow. I thought you were going to find at least a couple. No. No, usually people that are really good at pool, they'll tell you. Like, oh, yeah, I used to play a lot. I played a lot of tournaments. I did this and that. Like, where'd you play? And they're like, oh, I played at Chelsea Billiards in New York City. Oh, OK, OK, OK. Did you do a lot of tournaments? Yeah, I did a lot of gambling.

It was fucking me up in high school. Like, okay, I get it. You know what you're talking about. But the guy's like, yeah, man, I'm fucking good at pool. I'm like, are you? Where do you play? It's like going to bars, mostly. So it's one of two things happening. Either they're trying to sucker you into a game, and they are real. Or they're delusional. And every time I've ever experienced it, it's delusional. Wow. There's a lot of people, dude. Like famous people.

Really? Oh, yeah, yeah. A bunch. Yeah. Like, I'm pretty good. Bring them over. I don't want to say names, but bring them over onto the table. And I'm like, what the fuck? Oh, you have to tell me these names afterwards. Tell you afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun.

It's fun to see somebody. Yeah, it's fun. But, you know, it's one of those things that people like. A lot of men want to think they're good at poker. Like, oh, I can read people. Oh, yeah, that's another one. Dudes think they're good at playing cards. Ari Shafir, when we were at the store, Ari for years made a living playing poker.

He made a living doing that? 100%. He would go and play in the bicycle club and all those cards. Ari was very good at poker. But he would tell you, like, all these people think they can play. They don't know. Like, he's just intelligent and calculated. Yeah. He knows who's really good. Who? Phillip Lee and his wife.

Oh, really? They play in tournaments. Oh, wow. Margarita and Phillip, they play in tournaments. So is Bruce Buffer. Bruce Buffer played in the World Series of Poker. I never got into poker. And I remember when I was working in post-production, like in the early 2000s. It was starting to get more and more. Now it's, I think, immensely popular. But there was like an uptick when they started to televise it. You know what it was? You know what made it uptick? No. You could see the car.

Went home. You know who's got what. You know who's got what. Right. So you're watching it play out. That's a huge element that's on home because Anthony Giordano, my friend from the UFC, he does all the UFC direction. He's done my comedy specials too. He explained it to me. He's like, the moment you could see those cars.

I changed the game because now it made it exciting for people to watch. Because you're watching people play poker. You don't know what anybody's hand is until the end. This is stupid. But if there's like you got a camera.

So, like, as they fan open their cards, there's a camera under the table. And it shows you what they got. And it shows you what everybody's got. Like, ooh. That's more exciting. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's way more fun. Dude, I don't even know how to play poker. and I would accept invites to other games. And what happens is you start playing with how you think to play, and people start, when they don't know you, they're like, this is...

He's either fucking really ballsy and good, or he's a retard. And that's what happened to me, is a couple games in, people were like, okay. Yeah, this guy. And then pretty soon they're like, do you play poker? And I was like, I'm not really sure what we're doing here. And they're like, get the fuck out of here, man. Well, they also want to rob you. Yeah. That's a big thing, too, because you're a big fit.

Well, I wasn't at all that. No, no, no. I was just like... going like with people from work you know I was just like doing it socially that's gotta be a lot a thing where a lot of people like that are really wealthy that get into gambling oh Be a target? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's a big thing with pool players, too, is occasionally poker players, because poker players, a lot of them, they gamble on a bunch of different stuff. You know, a lot of them are just gambling.

Totally. And so there was always a bunch of poker players that would play pool, and they were kind of okay at pool, but they would get insane spots. Like say, I knew this guy that was playing one pocket for like $100,000 a set. And one pocket is a weird game where a pool table has six pockets. Yeah. And so, like, if we were playing one pocket, you would have this pocket on the right, I'd have this pocket on the left, and there's 15 balls.

And so all I have to do is make eight balls into my hole, and I win the game normally. But if you don't know how to play, and I'm trying to sucker you into playing me, I roll. Okay, let's go. I'll spot you on 15 ball game. I'll spot you. Thirteen. Thirteen balls. You just have to get two. We're going to play for big money. We're going to play for big money. We're going to play for race to five for a hundred.

So that means a game of one pocket takes a long time. It's not like a game of nine ball. A game of nine ball would be done in two minutes. you just run the rack. Like a good player. Because anywhere you can go. Yeah. But in this case, you have to go to one pocket. Exactly. One pocket. And you can't leave a shot. Because if you're playing a good player, so like if...

You were playing what if like okay me let's say me because I'm like a what I would call I'm like what's called a B player like I can't beat pros but compared to regular people How do you play so good? Regular people don't know how to play. That's why it is. But if I played like a pro, like a... my friend Fedor Gorst, who's, like, world champion. Like, I would probably need, like, out of 15 balls, I'd probably need 11 balls to have a chance. And even then, I'd probably...

Really? Yeah. Because he's just going to... He's going to figure out a way to never leave me a shot, and then he's going to calculate when he has a shot, can he open up the stack? and then run all the other balls. Because you don't break like you break with eight ball. When you break with one pocket, it's a very calculated game. And it's a big gambling game. The most money gets spent. I was just watching online the other day a game. They were playing for $240. Yeah, it was a mess.

I think it was a three-day match. I gotta watch one of these. The pressure's insane. But this guy, Justin Bergman, who's like one of the best players in the world, was playing this guy and he gave him a crazy spot. I think it was, I think it was, it might have been. It was something crazy, like 10 seconds. where he had to make 10 balls to the guy.

and the guy was a good player too and so if you're so this is like it's more like chess almost it feels like right because you're like they're calculating like risk reward because like say you might have a long spot in your hole and if you make it You have all these balls, and you can run out the game. But if you miss, you're selling out, and this guy only has to make six balls, and he might be able to make six balls. And it's any second.

Wow. Any ball just has to be in your hole in any order. It's not like a rotation game, like one through nine or eight ball, where you're like, I got stripes, you got solids. Anything goes. Any ball in that hole. And, like, the really, really good players can spot you that much and you still don't have a chance. Oh, yeah. You don't have a chance. And those are really good players. Like, there's a guy named Tony Chohan who's real famous. His nickname's T-Rex. And he's like a big time.

And there's another guy named Scott Frost who's a friend of mine who's like one of the biggest one-pocket players of all time. Guarantee you Scott Frost has gambled over the course of his life. Millions of dollars have changed. with Scott Frost playing One Pocket. Yeah. He's like one of the best One Pocket players, like literally. and these guys are playing, they'll meet up.

They'll have stake horses and then people on the rail. So all the people that are watching are gambling as well. So you might have a, you know, there might be a set that's being played for half a million dollars. Yeah. Like this one that I was watching the Justin Berkman one was $240,000 they were playing for.

Fuck. Yeah. And who knows how many people are gambling on the show. That's what I'm saying. It's generating a lot more. Oh, it's crazy. That's when you think about like, I think it's easy to forget when you're just into like the game. The amount of money that changes hands week to week with the NFL. Oh, God. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Billions. Billions. Has to be. Has to be. It is such a gambling machine. Oh, yeah. And like.

The NFL kind of goes like, no, it's not. It's about the gridiron. But then they also got to the point where it's like, you know they couldn't ignore it Because then you have sponsorship. of like, there's gambling sites. We're the official gambling spot. So it's all intermingled. Listen, I'm all for you being able to do whatever the fuck you want to do. I like it. I don't like rules that regulate people.

stupidity. I think if you want to do flips on your dirt bike, you should be able to do that. So you should also be able to gamble your life away if you want to do that. I don't think you should. But I believe in Darwinism. I believe you're supposed to let people lose everything. 2024, $148.7 billion game. That's interesting because that's what Doge found they spent on transgender animal styles the exact amount.

Bro, that's so much money. $148 billion. Listen, compared to what the United States government chews up every day, that's nothing. No, that's true. That's so crazy. And that's just football? No, no, it's all sports. Oh, all sports. Yeah, that's a lot of football.

There's been a lot of scandals with the NBA, right? Well, yeah, the... Referees, shaving points. Donahue, I think is his name. That was... those dirt bags out there which totally makes sense and it's so funny too because the nba there's probably like in football there's this thing that happens where like every single down you could call holding if you wanted to. Holding just happens in every play, right? Right. Every play. But what they tend to call are egregious holds.

meaning that the guy who's the defender is going past you, and you see the offensive guy's arm extended, pulling the jersey. I would call that. Basketball, it is so ticky-tacky.

what can be called and what can be ignored and what is ignored and what is called and it's just like ref to ref. Like there's these clear palming traveling charges like you see it sometimes you're like what was that like fingertips like graze the guy's arm and they fucking call the foul and then somebody gets hacked no foul right and it's just you kind of go well it's just like in the moment of the game

And, like, if that guy wants to be dirty, like that one was, you can make some money. Oh, my God. Yeah, and if you're working for the mom or something like that, like, this is your job, your job. shave points, your job is to make sure that these guys don't score as much. They just keep calling the fouls on the other guys, sending you to the foul line.

keep that spread open it's really gross man yeah there's a real problem with it with mma too is there really yeah yeah there's a real problem with mma um with uh Here's the problem with MMA gambling. Incompetent judging. Well, that's the thing. Is it incompetent or is it dirty? Dirty. With boxing, too. Yeah. We've never seen anything. Oh, yeah. Because, like, even the lay person.

can watch someone beat the shit out of somebody and be like, this guy's fucking whooping this guy's ass. You see the decision go the other way and you're like, I don't know, what happened? There's been a few decisions. Like that. There was one lady in Vegas, and she got barred from ever judging fights again. There was a few fights that she was involved with. Everybody was like, what the fuck?

And she was the common denominator. I don't know if she's ever been charged. I don't want to mention her name. But I know that there was a real issue. It was a real issue with the world title fight. where people are like how the fuck is this because if say look if say if like you're uh say it's canelo alvarez is fighting someone that you know he you know he's going to be but you can place a prop bet on it being a split decision or a majority decision all you have to do is get one person to say

And that's it. And like, look, he's going to win. He's going to win. He's going to win either way. But if I want to place a shit ton of money on this one thing, some dirty judge. could score to draw. And you just have to convince that dirty judge. Like, just listen, it doesn't matter. You're not affecting this guy's career. He's going to get the win. No one's going to remember. Just make it a majority decision.

You've just got to justify why you thought, I'm a big fan of defense. I think the other guy just blocked a lot of punches. I thought it was great. There's so many, I feel like, in combat sports. Because it's so subjective. Yeah. But it's just, for a fighter, the crazy thing is you lose half your purse. Yeah. Because you might get $100,000 to fight and then $100,000 to win. And so if they hit you with a bullshit decision, you lost $100,000 because of some hometown decision.

corruption yeah it's really unique that you have A sport, when you think about it, where there's a subjective winner. Right, it's not like football. Right, where like, that's the score. Every time I score, yeah. Basketball. Ball goes in the net. Score. You can shave point. You can bullshit. But if you're playing Michael Jordan, he's going to score on you. How are you going to stop him? You're not going to stop him. So the numbers he puts up are the numbers he puts up.

But in boxing and in MMA, like remember when Roy Jones lost in the Olympics? Do you remember that? Yes, yes, yes. He lost the Olympics in Korea. Yeah. And he fucked that dude up. He beat that dude from pillar to post. That was corruption. 100%. Yeah.

was nationalism. It was like, it was in Korea. Like, Koreans are very proud and they're like, he won. Like, what? Yeah, yeah. Roy Jones Jr. in his prime in the Olympics. I mean, not even in his prime yet. Yeah. He fucked that guy up. Fucked that guy up. Yeah.

And, you know, there's been a few decisions like that in boxing where you're like, how is this? What was the one, because I watched a video on this, I think recently too, where I was like, oh, what was the explanation where it was Kennedy, Tim? right is that his name the fighter tim kennedy right is that his name sure fighting the the cuban guy yellow romero yeah yeah that was a that was a bad one that was bad that was a bad one yeah that was a

We're like, I don't know if that's the referee's fault or whatever, but he didn't get off of his stool. So Kennedy, Tim had rocked him real bad at the end of the round, like real bad. And then Yoel went to his corner wobbling fucking out of it. And at the end of the one-minute break that you're supposed to have sat on the stool, it should be it's over. It's over. It should be it's over. But he got an additional, I want to say, more than 30 seconds to recover.

before he got and then he wound up beating tim But also, psychologically, for the guy who was fucking him up, for Tim, it's like, no, this fight is over. You're fucking me. I'm getting fucked here. And so then your brain starts to... And then you get out of your... fight mindset which has to be zen because he's getting you're getting into the injustice mindset why isn't anybody fucking doing anything yes yes yes and there was that was just like a yeah

It was crazy. I don't know who to, I don't want to pass blame, but someone fucked up. It should have been, in my mind, One minute, get up. Are you going to get up? Fight's over. This guy won. That's it. He retired on his stool. Fuck you. Fight's over. That's what it should have been, in my mind. Also, when the fight... when the round does go over one minute and the guy doesn't get up.

You've put a burden on Kennedy that is just like... totally unfair yeah totally unfair especially when he was rocking him at the end of the round like this this is like the more He gets to recover. There's a reason why in boxing you only get 10 seconds You know the more time he gets to recover the more it's possible that he can win this is not fair Yeah, like it's supposed to be one minute and that's it if the fight doesn't restart at one minute. He's not ready. It's over. Yeah

So that's only happened once. And unfortunately for Tim, it happened to him. Yeah, that does suck. It was a bummer. Yeah. It was a bummer because Yoel Romero went on to, I mean, Yoel was a freak of all. Yeah. The guy could recover. And he was also, like, just built like a superhero. He looked like a goddamn pit bull. He was a part of the queue. Yeah. Fucking traps in the head. Everybody who fought him said that like hitting him.

hitting him so he's like he's like made out of metal they all said that everybody said like everybody like robert whittaker who beat him twice uh who was the middleweight champion he's like every time you hit him Like, he's just different. Yeah. Freaky guy. Yeah. So, like, if Chad Ochocinco thinks he was going to beat that guy. No. Like, listen.

Like there's people like you out there that also really know how to fight. Yeah. You know, like there's like people that have that. That's a problem with like really tough guys. They think they're the only one like that. Yeah. It's like you don't want to discourage that in a fighter because that's the thing that gets them to a championship level in the first place is this belief that they're just different than everybody. They're the chosen one. They're destined for this.

But the wake-up call that those guys get when they get knocked unconscious is the craziest thing. It's like the reality, like, oh, my God, I'm the... Yeah. I'm what I've been doing to other people someone just did to me and now it's over. That has to rock you on such a deep level. The deepest. Well, because it's also... It fucks with your identity. Exactly. Like who you are. Oh, yeah. Your worth. Your whole self-worth. Your girlfriend's not attracted to you anymore. You just got laid out.

Yeah, like everybody thinks of you as a loser now. Yeah. Hey, I had a rough one Saturday, huh? What happened? What happened? Hey, what happened? And all your, that fat, stupid fucking neighbor that's happy that you're a loser now. Yeah. Wasn't your night, huh, pal? Yeah. Happens to all of us. And you're like, hey, man, fuck you. Like, listen.

Maybe fucking take a job where you're not getting punched in the head, stupid. Don't get mad at me. Exactly. People love it when the dominator fails. Yeah, we like to... You know, it's funny because we like to... Like a society, I think. I don't know if it's just all over the world or it feels like it's kind of American. We love to discover someone, ride with them, want everyone to know this is who I've been with this person.

From the beginning. See them reach a certain height and then go, oh, fuck them. Fuck that guy. And then bring him down. You see it all the time. Well, because our society is infested with bitches. Like an apartment filled with roaches, our society is infested with bitches. And there's always going to be people that don't do their best.

that don't go for things, that don't try real hard, that never put themselves out there. And so when someone does and fails, they're like, ha, ha, ha, and they want to troll them on social media. You're not better than me. I tell so many fighters, you got it. offline because I've talked to fighters like when they're arguing with people online and I'll meet them I'll see them

I know you think you're doing, like you're shutting these people up. If you ever see you, I'll fucking smack you. Dude, I'm telling you right now, you've got to stop doing this. You've got to stop engaging and stop reading. This thing is poison. You're reading poison. And it gets in your head. It gets in your head like while you're training. I'm sure. Think about it while you're training. I know.

A lot of these guys are very fragile because a lot of these guys got bullied and picked on, which is why they got into fighting in the first place. To defend themselves. And then you're getting bullied by 100,000 unknown anonymous 15-year-olds. And your neighbor. Yeah. Your neighbor's hoping for your downfall. Dude, I was reading this story about this lady who, this girl, this young girl was getting like mercilessly trolled. Yes, I saw this story. Bro. It's like incomprehensible.

There's monsters out there. That's a monster. To do that to your daughter. She's just jealous of her daughter's looks and popularity. Fucking crazy. That's a monster. Monsters are real. Yeah. Yeah, you can't, you know, you can't like fucking Gandhi everything. No. You can't, you know, Sat Nam the whole world. Oh, Yamaste, Namaste. No, that's not real. No. Like, there's people out there you gotta kill. Yeah. This happened to, like, um...

Some soccer player, too. I remember I watched a doc on him. It's kind of vague to me, but he was getting totally mercilessly trolled and attacked by someone and it turned out to be one of his friends. Marvin Gaye got killed by his dad. Yeah, that's... You want to hear something crazy? I was dating this girl and I was... Giant Marvin Gaye fan. I think she didn't like it. That I was a giant. What?

And one of the things that she said was like, imagine how bad of a person he was that his own father killed him. and i was like that's what you got out of this that's your perspective she was such a bad person like what what could he have done for you that would have justified his father shooting him and killing I'll tell you what he did. He fucking...

outshone his father. That's what he did. He reached levels of love that his father couldn't possibly have achieved in his life and his father realized I'll never be as good as my son. Fuck my son. And he hated him because of that. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's probably a bunch of other stuff involved too. But that's dark, man. Dark. You shot your son. It's not like your son was trying to kill you. No. And you had to defend yourself and shoot him. No.

He was just an amazing singer that the whole world loved. Yeah. And he probably has a bitch ass friend. Yeah, look at you, man. Yeah. Your son Marvin's killing it and you're just a fucking loser. fucking kid. What was the... Because I always knew that the father, was it like a clear-cut homicide one? Oh, yeah, the father just shot him. It was an interesting thing because I think what had happened with Marvin Gaye was Marvin...

incredible fame but he got fucked over in some record deal where he had like no money. Yeah. I think he had like everybody in that era. Bro. So fucking predatory. Bro. You want to talk about predatory. The worst. The music business is like the most disgusting. Do you ever read the thing that Courtney Lowered wrote about it? About the music business? A lot of people don't even think she wrote it because it's too good.

But it was essentially a breakdown of how bad the music business... and this is at a time where you actually sold records tons of them sometimes yeah because now now the music business like it's like the mask is off like it doesn't provide any value and they still take 50% of your tour Crazy. They do 50-50 deals. Merch, touring. Yeah. And what are they going to do? What do they provide? They can't even get you on the radio because the radio doesn't exist. Yeah.

Like, you know, that's why people that break through from that model, like Oliver Anthony or, you know, Tyler, the creator is a great example, like just makes his own stuff. It doesn't have to be. People don't even realize that in that era, too, you would, after your tour. after your tour.

and your hit album that you'd be in debt to the record company. So they're like, you gotta do another album. And the record company's all rich. Everyone's profiting. And then also, they want you to subsidize the failure.

All these boy bands that they pushed that never made it, all the money that they put into that, that's a part of the accounting. So insane. And then Hollywood does the same thing. They would do the same thing with how much money a movie made. There's been tons of lawsuits that are involved. Wait, but where were you with Marvin? You're like, he's broke? Yeah, so he, if I remember the story correctly,

It was so depressing, I didn't even want to really get into it. Because I think he had become a huge superstar and then didn't have any money. which has happened more than once. Yeah. And I think he might have had to move back in with his parents. No. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I think that's the story. See if you can find that.

Right, but the thing is, like, he might have, like, bought him money when the money was flowing in, and then after a while, you know, that's the other thing that happens with art. like artists are impulsive so they spend all their money and they don't really like how many artists get given like a Mercedes Benz by you know

the head of a label and they think like, oh shit, I'm killing it. Meanwhile, it's a leased car. Yeah. You know, and they're just siphoning money out of you. Someone's writing that loss. You're just getting fucked. You're getting fucked left and right and right and left. And all they do is sell art. All they do is sell art. And they don't make any of it. And they make more money than anybody.

so people didn't know because now if you are into music whatever you don't realize how much it was a thing to have music videos right like that used to be such the biggest thing and a lot of artists especially like the young artists

didn't even know that they were paying for the music video. So the label would be like, go shoot your video. And they'd be like, cool. It's a million dollars. And they'd be like, great. And then they're like, oh no, you're going to pay for that. But they tell them later, we've got to deduct that million. They're like, wait, what?

No. which is what we were talking about earlier you should learn that in school you have no idea that you're like wait I thought you guys are paying for this no it's kind of funny that the video like everything is visual You know, everything's visual now. There's so much video that people watch, but yet music videos kind of went away. I know. Except Kanye. That one we definitely all saw. And the new one looks like you made it for $40. Yeah.

Like, it doesn't, I mean, it's like you got a drone and a bunch of people, you know, and Heil Hitler. And he had, like, the black light kind of effect, yeah. Doesn't seem like that'd cost a lot of money. No, I don't think that'd probably cost a lot. You can make things now too for so much less. Oh, with AI? It's so accessible. With AI, you don't even have to have the actual people doing it. Yeah, that's true. Which is really crazy.

like what you can do now is nuts my daughter was showing me some stuff that you could do with just photographs where she could take photographs and then she throws them through this filter and then they're dancing around and moving you're like this is nuts yeah so all you need is a photograph Especially if you chose to have effects in it, like some sort of psychedelic fucking weird things where things morph and change. It could all be done with AI now.

That's incredible. Easily. Well, there's articles out about some studio. Maybe it's here in Texas. I got the... somebody sent me the link to this, that this company wants to, yeah, they want to start making studio-quality movies for 500K AI movies. I bet they can make it for cheaper than that. But that's... Yeah.

These are, I mean, that's... They probably have AI write the script, man. I mean, if you're thinking about something like dumbass fuck... cop movie you know some silly bank heist movie you got a hero who's gonna go in and fucking kill the bad guys another cost you could write that easy with just take All AI has to do is, like, it's a large language model, right? It almost has to search through.

Steve McQueen movies and Tom Hardy movies. Write me a movie. Guy Ritchie movies. Put it together. Make me a movie. No, it bums me out, though. I don't want to watch that movie. It should. Yeah. What is this? This is the company. This is the first piece. The woman with red hair. Yeah. They start doing it. Oh, so they have actors. They have real actors. But then they're replaced. God damn. Like, look, it looks so good.

It looks so good. Like, that's not a real person. Isn't that crazy? It's the uncanny valley. It looks a little weird. Yeah. But getting better all the time, and the only reason why it looks weird is because it's so well lit. Like if you wanted to do it like Sin City style, there's no, like Sin City, if Robert Rodriguez wanted to do Sin City today, the whole thing could be AI. Yeah, yeah. No one would know. No. That's crazy. Yeah. These are all fake people.

And dude, just a few years ago, you couldn't do hair. Hair was weird. Right. You know? And so were like extremities, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I mean, just in a short amount of time, it's incredible. Why is that? That's so interesting. Why are finger...

That's a good question. Well, hair seems like it would take a lot of computing power. Right. Because you have strands, single strands moving. Her hair's not moving. It's pretty static. Yeah, but it's, no, it isn't. Go back. No, no, I'm saying. But it is all moving.

It would have. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Yeah. It's moving us almost like a little bit of a helmet. Like, that would be a tell. Like, it's a little bit of movement, but not enough. Right. A little bit of bounce. but not like it's all spray painted like as if if their hair was like sprayed with a shit ton of hairspray yeah couldn't move at all right that would come

But it's not moving. So they all need that scene at the beginning of every of their movies. It's like... That's kind of tough to do, too. Getting a good font. I can't read anything. In a movie, you probably wouldn't need it. Interesting. When you're looking for AI stuff. Right. Interesting. Yeah, look at that. Look at that font. It looks like ancient Sumerian text or something.

That's interesting. Like some lost language. Yeah. Like that one and the fingers and toes thing is like, I just wonder what they... explanation is for that because that's a tell in photographs too right yeah you see a photo you can be like oh look that's got like six fingers well remember that lady the english lady that was missing was there kate She was missing forever. She supposedly was sick. Kate Middleton.

She was sick and then there was a photo that was released of her. Look, she's fine. Everybody's like, no, this is fucking AI. Like in the photo, like people had six fingers and shit. Like weird stuff. That's weird shit. In the photo, there was like weird, clearly edited. Yeah. It's going to get way spookier. Way, way. Way spookier. We're just touching it right now. Yeah, it's just started. This is just scratching this earth.

Yeah. It's going to be real weird. Like, actors should really save their money. You're going to be useless in a short amount of time. I agree. And also, if you have... Any type of... you know recognition to you now you gotta like like get your image you know i mean like oh yeah yeah yeah like

But also, like, how are you going to stop China from just making Mel Gibson movies? No, you're definitely not. You're not going to. They're just going to be like, I don't care. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you. We're going to make a Mel Gibson when he's 35 movie. Fuck off. Yeah. It's going to play here. We don't care. Just fuck off. We're going to put it online.

What are you going to do? It's so, so crazy. Run through 30 different shell companies and you're going to find who made it. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And it's going to get to a point where it's going to be virtual. So it's like, it's going to be inside people's heads. You're gonna be able to exist inside the movie. Things are gonna get so strange and they're gonna be so... immersive so quickly. The Matrix is a decade away. The real Matrix.

where you're in the Amazon and you are barefoot and you feel the ground under your feet and you hear the monkeys and the birds and the bugs and the trees And you hear the sound of a panther nearby. Like, that's going to be real. That's going to be real, and you're going to be like, why do I even...

to go back to real life. Partake in the real world. Like, what's that guy's name? Joey Pants from fucking The Matrix when he's eating a steak. He's like, I want to be important. I want to be an important person. Yeah. That's what people want to do. They'd rather be an important person in the matrix. That's so true, man. And we might be in that right now. That's the real- The real mindfuck is, if they can eventually create an artificial reality that's indiscerative...

How do you know whether or not you're already in it? And you don't. Well, you wouldn't, yeah. But there's a lot of evidence that we are. That we're in it now? Yeah, there's a lot of evidence that reality as we know it is not real. That it's too weird. Quantum entanglement. Quantum particles being in superposition. The fact that at a subatomic level, everything is kind of magic. Nothing makes any sense. Also, that...

When you observe things, it changes the behavior of subatomic particles. Like, what's that all about? What does that mean? Like, no one really knows. So I'm experiencing this in a... And an altered reality. I think consciousness might be responsible for reality instead of consciousness. I think it might be bo- I think it might be consciousness is experiencing reality as well as consciousness is responsible. How much of a mindfuck would it be if somebody unplugged your...

You're like, this whole thing you've been doing. Pretty mind-fucking. Yeah. I mean, if anybody should believe in it, it's me. How is it possible that my life was like this? Yeah, right. Doesn't make any sense. I'm just like killing it in a video game. Yeah.

doesn't make sense no but but doesn't make sense this is why like for a fighter like the loss must be so fucking unbelievably devastating it's like the equivalent yeah and you see champions that keep coming back and keep getting Don't do it again. You know? Yeah. Just like they can't believe it's over. You don't want to see it again. They can't believe it's over.

Winner of the game. I won the game. I was winning the game. Nope. Not anymore. Now reality has shifted. And now, on top of it, you've got brain damage. Oh, fuck. Boy. That's worse than the version we get. Oh, it's the worst. Yeah, that's the worst version. Brain damage is the worst. Because now the way you interface with reality might be damaged. Sort of like a car with a bad suspension on the highway with the wheels.

Like the way you interface with the universe itself. Changes completely. Yeah. So you're taking a gamble. The highest amount of glory. It's like winning fights in front of the whole world I mean I would only imagine that by becoming a UFC champion and they you know put that belt on your waist and the whole And people at home are like, fuck yeah. Fuck it, he did it. Holy shit. Holy, you text your friends, what a fight. Holy shit. That the love that person gets, the accomplishment.

at yeah but the price is you're risking the way you enter The brain. You're risking the brain. And you might get out of it like George St. Pierre. You know, George St. Pierre, fine. handsome, wealthy, perfect, like, intellectually. And people are like, you're the man still. Bro, still the man. Like, you know, whenever I talk to him, it's like, Joe Rogan, how's things? Everything is great, buddy. He's all happy.

You're like, boy, you fucking really pulled it off. You really pulled it off. You became a two-division world champion, one of the greatest fighters of all time, and you're fine. But for most, it's going to end badly. Yeah, and the crazier part to me is how many of those guys you go, hey, if you could go back.

you know we just change things and they're like no some of them like god i i love the glory so much like you see it in fighting you see it like in the nfl or some of them like no i'll accept the identity yeah the identity The identity, to be a special person. You don't get to be a special person. Most people don't get to be a special person. And a special fighter. is a different kind of special person.

Yeah, it's like, that's a guy who... who took the craziest of risks, like we all know, and you know better than anybody. how vulnerable the human body is because of your surgery and your injuries. Fucking horrible. So, like, imagine if you had a fight, and now, like, you were a big-time fighter, and you hurt yourself playing basketball with Burt Krasher. Oh, my God. And then you got to build yourself back up to fight again, but you kind of know that your left arm is kind of still fucked.

little bit yeah no you never like no matter how far you get from it You still have the voice in there. Oh, yeah. More so now, right? Oh, yeah. Because you're like, I never had that voice before. Oh, yeah. Of like, watch out. Yeah. Be careful. Yeah. Don't do that. And I, you know, I've had three knee surgeries, and I'm having a problem with this left knee that I really hurt. The last time I hurt it pretty bad was skiing.

And the last time I skied because I cracked the bone that's at the top of the tibia. And then I probably messed up the cartilage and shit in there too. But it's still better than most. Like it's better than a regular. Like, people are like, how bad is your name? Like, stop. Fucked up compared to your knees, like a regular person's knees. I need my knee to be able to kick 60 miles an hour and do a bag of sand. I'm requiring different things for my knees. But...

I know. It's not the same. And if you're a fighter and you know you've got a bum knee, nobody can tell while you're moving. And you know your hand breaks easier now. And you know your neck hurts. and you know you've got a pinched nerve, and you know your lower back gives out sometimes, and you know your kidneys kind of hurt.

cut weight for too many years sounds like you know you shouldn't be fighting and you know and you know your memory's not so good anymore and also you know you can't take a punch anymore like a lot of guys know that they get they used to be able to take a great punch but now you can't get hit so now you're gun Did you see Devin Haney's fight last weekend? No.

He fought like, you know, Ryan Garcia fucked him up in the last fight. Dropped him a bunch of times. And this fight, like, it looks like he's done. Like, he's moving around just like it was just constantly moving. Who did he fight? I forgot the gentleman's name, but there were rounds where neither one of them landed upon.

The whole round? The whole round. And Garcia, that's the one where he won the fight, but then there was all this bullshit. He tested positive for some sort of performance-enhancing metabolite at a very low level. like not on a level where it would be performance.

Yeah. So I don't know what happened. He says he didn't take anything. What ended up happening with the decision or the purse or whatever? It became a no contest. Oh, it became a no contest. Yeah, and I think he's also getting sued because...

Devin Haney claimed that he won because he was on steroids, and that's a bad look. But you could tell that, like, mine fucked Devin Haney. And a lot of people, like, totally are writing off Devin Haney now, which is crazy. Because I remember when he beat Kim Bosa.

Devin Haney slick he's so good and now like that guy is just he was just moving and still very skilled boxer but it just shows you like one devastating loss or an undefeated fighter can fuck you up yeah and some guys they come back and they're fine you know like garcia for instance like Gervonta Davis fucked him up.

He came back, and he was fine. But then that weekend, he fought Roley Romero, and Romero dropped him, and he lost the decision. So they were going to set up a big rematch. Now nobody wants to see the rematch because they both lost. Well, actually, Devin didn't lose. He won a decision, but he lost public credibility because it was a very boring fight. Still an incredibly skillful boxer, a world champion boxer.

Very good boxer. But even the commentary like Antonio Tarver was like, I don't like the way he's moving. His footwork seems erratic. Like everything is like he needs to settle down. Jose Romero. So Haney won this fight. Yeah, he won a decision. But it was the fans lost. And this was this big event in Times Square. This is also a big event because...

Turkey al-Asik, the guy from Saudi Arabia, His Excellency, is the guy who's dumping incredible amounts of money into boxing so that he can get these guys to fight. so he's putting he's like what do you need for the fight how much to make this fight happen like i need 10 million dollars like done and like what Like, fuck, I should ask for 20. It's that kind of a situation because the Saudis have so much money. So Oscar De La Hoya was talking about this. And he was saying...

These guys are spoiled and they're afraid to risk anything. Right. Because the money is so much, which is so interesting. Like you need a guy who's willing to risk it all. to really fucking go for it. And these guys aren't willing to do that. And I think the Devin Haney thing, it's one of those things where you see a guy who is an unbelievably skilled fighter but loses one.

and they're just not the same again. Not the same. And Gervonta's still... Gervonta's still killing it. Killing it. But he had that fight with Lamont Roach where it was a draw. And there was a legit draw. And, you know, you could even make the argument that Roach won that fight and they're going to fight again. And that should be very interesting. But I think it's also...

For boxers, there's a situation where you can only keep up the RPMs for so long. All the greats. There's a certain amount of times that you can keep training. A certain amount of times you can keep competing. And like we were talking about, like your arm.

up yeah that happens with them too like the ankles are bad something's bad i can't do the same level of output yeah it's not the same they're not this they're not who they used to be they might look the same but they can't do what they could do five years ago six years ago yeah yeah It's hard. It's a hard sport, man. But it's also because the glory is so high if you're successful. So great. People are willing to do it. Yeah. Very great.

Yeah. Thank God that's not how we make a living. Thank God. Dude, if the UFC was around when I was competing, I 100%. And then imagine how dumb I would be now at 57 years old. Oh, I'd be a mess. A lot of staring. Oh, I'd be a lot of drooling. So, hey, you look good. You losing weight? You losing weight? You losing weight? What are you doing? Because, uh...

Dieting? My brain would be like a four-cylinder engine. All fucked up. Misfiring. It's good you didn't get into that. It is, but I think I got... Yeah, you've said that to me before. I think so. I think there's just a certain amount that you get that makes you just a little reckless.

I'm so a little crazy. Just a touch. Yeah, just a touch. I just got a... Yeah. Just a touch of brain damage that allows me to be... I like taking... I enjoy risks. Yeah. Like, I like them. They're fun. Me too. Did you have a fall in your head? Yeah, I had a couple devastating... Yeah, a couple bad ones. I bet it helped. I think I have some frontal lobe damage.

And, yeah. I think it has something to do with it. I do. I like calculated risks. Yeah. I mean, I think if you take this career path, you enjoy risk. Clearly. Yeah. Also, you don't have any choices. Yeah. My thought was when I was first started, I was like, I can't work. I can't do it. But I know I can do things. But I can't show up and do a job all day for the rest of my life.

I don't have that in me. I'm allergic to it. I didn't like, I was a latchkey kid. So like, I didn't get a lot of like, you got to do this, you got to do that. So the problem is like, I developed not having people telling me what to do. So I can't listen. I think every comic has that thing, too. Yeah. Like, I can't have... Also, I was around enough bosses that were just total cunts and douchebags that I just like, in my mind, the boss is an asshole. Always. Every time. He's unappreciative.

fucking idiot who you gotta listen to him cause he's responsible for your paycheck and he knows it so he gets to act like a douche bag and you can't go hey man fuck you who are you talking to why do you talk to me fucking idiot yeah you can't because he's the boss he's the boss yeah no it sets you up for like i'll figure out a way i think if i hadn't done this i would have

I definitely think I would have started my own business of some kind. Yeah. I mean, I've been an entrepreneur of some kind. Yeah, you would have had to. Yeah. But that's, you know, how many people don't or they get roped in and then they have a bunch of responsibilities. no it's a fucking yeah i mean now we're at the age too where you like you can look back on 25

People you know. Oh, my God. Who are, like, miserable. Oh, my God. People that are in hell. Yeah, in hell. In hell. Meanwhile, we're fucking... killing it yeah you know it's really crazy things is when people get out of stand-up and then they see everybody doing real well and they want to jump back in and it's been like i've gotten some messages from some friends that i know I'm like, you can't just jump back in. Well, if you do, you've got to start from the beginning. Start doing open mic.

Like, you've been in the writer's room just doing writing for us sitcoms for fucking eight years. You lose your footing so much in that time. It's a different, like, sometimes I've had, you know, a week off, two weeks off, even a month. Where you're like, oh, you have sea legs. You're just like, whoa. I can't imagine 10 years. Dude. It happened to a lot of writers when they got in the strike. You know, when the strike was going on. Like, how long did that strike have been?

long ass time and these guys have mortgages and the kids are in private school and their wife likes to spend money yeah fuck yeah and they're used to making you know half a million a year yeah doing real good yeah and then all of a sudden it all dries up and like oh fuck and then they're their savings account, and the wife's like, what are you gonna do? Like, fuck. I think I'm gonna start doing stand-up.

And they start trying to put together an act, and they want to show up, and then the club doesn't know who they are anymore. Oh, God. The anxiety. Scary. It's a scary feeling. It's the worst. But it's like decisions that you make in life. Like what are you going to do? Like what are you going to do with your life? Those are personal decisions. Which is why they're like this whole free will. because these people that want to believe there is no such thing as free will.

Like, yeah, you can do that cute little thing, but you know that free will's real because you know that you decide to get up in the morning. Yeah. Like, you're telling me Jelly Roll didn't have free will to lose that 200 pounds? No shit. yeah perfect example yeah like that's hard to do yeah you're 400 plus pounds You're fat as fuck. You're drinking and partying every night. And then one day you put your foot down. Not doing this shit. That's enough. I'm going to get healthy. That's free will.

Like what you're telling me, determinism, like forced him into a position at 39 years old where he's all of a sudden going to decide to lose all this weight and it has nothing to do with his free will. That's silly. Will is a real thing. Of course. And we all have it. You can just deny it. But it's why... I don't know. Anything that you accomplish that...

work is through free will. It's through making choices. But then there is also a certain amount of determinism if you grow up in a terribly abusive household. and you're around drug addicts and violence and then you go and commit that. It's almost like you have no other examples. It's true. I get that. But you still make a choice. You do, but you don't even know what a good choice is because you've never even seen a good choice. That's a valuable analysis that you had.

horrible modeling. So you're just following a path you think is the only path. And some of those guys get involved in athletics. Some of those guys get lucky and they become a fighter. Or maybe they get lucky and they become a musician. Or maybe they get lucky and they... or a comic. It's just the choices that you make in this life are that you don't know if it's the right choice. while you're doing it, while you're making that choice.

Well, I'm about to find out whether making this TV show was the right choice. No, I'll find out. Do you have to piss? It seems like you're wiggling. I got to piss. I knew it. I knew it. Should we wrap it up? Sure. Listen, what you showed me is amazing. Thanks, man. I'm sure it's good. bad thoughts when is it out it's uh tuesday so that tomorrow tomorrow yeah fuck yeah uh The stuff that I saw is amazing. It's fucking hilarious. Thanks a lot, bro. I'm glad you're doing stuff, man. I'm just...

I'm glad you're out there. It's fucking beautiful to see. I'm very excited for it, I'll tell you. I know it's an overused term, but it really was a dream come true to do it. Well, you can tell by how well it came out. So ridiculous. It's so you. It's such a signature Tom Segura type of humor. Thanks, man. It's awesome. I'm excited for it. Thanks for having me on, man. My pleasure, my brother. Anytime.