The Joe Rogan Experience by Joe Rogan Park Gas by Night All Day! Alright bro, boys, good to see you. What's up Joe? You have a little adventure coming over here. We did. We just lost. This one we dropped off the wrong spot. This one might be on me. About how you break this off at the completely right spot in his mind. And the amount that I cursed him because we thought it was the wrong spot.
We spent on me. That's on me because I should have gotten you guys the car service. We have the car service that takes all the... I figured you guys were already here. You had transportation. When we were at about, I don't know, three quarters into our three quarter mile walk here. You sent somebody over to come get us and he pulled up in a car and he goes, you guys for Joe right? And we said yeah and he goes, follow me. And then just drove away the car.
You didn't let it away. You know what? You were too sweaty. Yeah, that's what it was. We were saying it's shared off still. You can see him listening. My eyes were going from the air product to my eyes. Hey, are you guys here for Joe Rogan? He told me to bring you this heat lamp. Here, you can carry that with you. This saw made it's ready when you get this pocket warmer.
Can you guys carry these kettlebells over the studio? I was in Utah where it was like 50 degrees and then I came right here to Austin. It was like 98 when I got out of the car. I was like, yo, I forgot. Yeah, I've got some of it. Some of it doesn't end in Texas. It lasts a long time, but it does get winter here. And it's hilarious. They shut it down. The Austin people don't know what the fuck to do and it snows out. There's no infrastructure at all.
I got stuck in Houston for maybe four or five days because they had. I mean, I want to say a light flurry and there's a little bit of ice. But Texas doesn't have like, you know, no, no flowers. No. Well, we had the big freeze the first year I moved here. They did nothing. Yeah, they did nothing. They just let it thaw. I was the one flight that was able to get at one time to go to Dallas for a gig. And they had like, it was three inches of snow.
But the whole place shuts down and the thank God, because the car that picked me up to drive me to the hotel that night. If there was other cars in the road, dude, it would have been ping pong. Every time he stopped the car, it would like turn sideways completely. But he was just calm because there's nobody else in the road. So it didn't really matter. Telling this sketchiest feeling is not when you're in like Edmonton or some shit. And they have to spray that stuff on the wings.
Oh, yeah, I served the wings. Yeah, like, yo, like there's a real because it's kind of a misty freezing rain thing going on. You're like, there's a real possibility. Like go, you know, I don't fucking want in a thousand, one in a hundred thousand chance that those fucking things aren't going to go up. Because they're frozen stocks. So they have to spray it. And what would happen if those things didn't go up?
Is that it's no control of the plane? I just don't I don't want to know anything. I'm like, they got it back up. That's what I think I always remember talking though. I think it's been baily years ago. And I was like, you know, it's so fun. The more I fly the more I'm afraid of flying somehow, I go, but I have to just assume planes are designed that like if all fails, like they're designed to kind of be able to be able to be glided to safety.
And he was like, no, if you use all the engines, if you use all the engines, it knows dives directly to the girl. That's why it was such a big deal. The miracle in the Hudson. It was a miracle that the guy was able to land the plane when the engines went out. And that's because that guy is like a real serious pilot. Yeah. That guy really knew how to fucking fly a plane. He's a real hero. I love the argument that he's not always made me laugh. They're like, he did his job. He goes, sure.
Well, he said, if he was a vile man, if he was a trans woman for a third world country, he'd be the greatest hero of all time. I remember when it landed, I was rooting for him to be drunk. Like I just wanted him to come out. So I fucking did it on coke. I also wish there was like a like a drag queen that would do something heroic. So it was got to like praise the things of life, you know, like Kant lips, thunder tits. They always got stupid names.
How weird is it that it's an argument whether or not drag queen should be reading books to kids? What's the upside of that? Yeah, like why? Who's idea was this? Yeah, because we talked to the first person who came up with this idea. Like what? You know kids lacking these days, the most aggressive gaze yelling at them. Yeah. Listen to the story, honey.
At the very least, I've met some very nice drag queens, but at the very least, it's an odd choice that might be one that someone's out of their fucking mind chooses. It's a possibility, right? It's not zero. Absolutely. Why went to one? It's almost like a, we actually did a sketch. We did a, I think, quote, lead unit sketch where we performed dirty comedy to kids in a library. And that was the whole point is that we were like, you know, it's an adult job. You know what I'm saying?
It's not meant for little kids or somebody wearing makeup. And even though it's not inherently sexual with what they're doing in that moment, it's like what they're, their whole thing is meant for a nightclub for adults. Well, it's the people who defend it, they always go, I don't know. Have you ever been to one like, it's just a guy in a dress reading a story. It doesn't have to be weird. But then you're like, you know what would be even less weird?
Is a guy not an address reading a story or just a teacher? Yeah, just like whoever the person has to say, I guess the argument for it would be, this is what makes these people happy. We should normalize the fact that they want to dress up like very flamboyant women. We should normalize. That's the, the art of the art. If you want an efficient porn star, it's reading books to kids either. Yeah, for example, if you wanted to take the other side's position, like what would you say?
You would say, hey, this is fine to do that. It's fine to do that. This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog. Dogs take a lot of care and responsibility, but every minute is worth it. They add so much to our lives, I would do anything for my dog. And I'm sure you would too. You probably only want the best for your pets, but figuring out what that is could be a real headache. There's a lot of misinformation out there, especially around dog food.
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Just use the code Rogan at checkout at blinds.com go to blinds.com and use the promo code Rogan limited time offer rules and restrictions apply see blinds.com for details. But it's still a biological man who's dressed up like a woman who's reading things to kids is still it's like the odds of this being 100% like really rational, fascinating person.
It's going to read books to get or someone is out of their fucking mind. There's it's not like a zero percent thing. It's like something you should be kind of concerned about. If it was a stripper reading books to a kid or an ex-convict. Yeah, you would go again. It's just not like the whole thing that's interesting about it is you take this fish out of water.
And I just don't think you should be experimenting with kids. How about guys on parole for violent crimes? How about how about them read the kids? How about how about corrupt politicians have them read the kids? How about that I object to the most CEO has been arrested for embassment. How about them reading the kids? How about all kinds of life?
I can't read to them. Maybe cool, but maybe super fucking sketchy people reading stories to kids. You know, there's a lot we could go with a lot of them. It's reading time with day. Sean. I don't know. People convicted of violent assault, but they wouldn't do it again. It was a bad move. How about you kids? I was on one of those apps to hire a babysitter recently.
And it's it's a very weird that I'd never done it before. And it's almost like it's almost like a dating app like you're like swiping left and right, but it's on for babies. And I will say, and I'm on the Legion of Skanks. I'm a comedian. I hang out in a pretty CD world, but it is amazing how judgmental you get when you're just judging a person off their face over whether they're going to watch your kids. I was like, no, Zring. You'll never be more racist.
I'm not a fucking baby. I'm considering getting a chance at my face at gang fest. Like how about if there was, yeah, that's a good idea. How about if there was guys with tattoos on the faces that wanted to read stories to kids? Would that be cool? Who would be cool with that? If it was post Malone, you'd be like, of course, he's so cool. Let him read the stories. The kids had to be really fun.
When you be weirded out, if your kids had like a face tattoo teacher at all, yeah, I'd be weirded out. I would not, I would not like that. Listen, like jelly rolls, the coolest motherfucker. He's got face tattoos. There's a lot of people that do him and wish they didn't do him or do him and are happy with them and like them. It's cool. No, I'm not saying you should be. The possibility of you being out of your fucking mind is in there.
No, absolutely. But I also just mean it's just the idea that like I'm not like even like said post I don't think a teacher with face tattoos might be the best teacher. Like in the world, I just think it's like as a parent, you'd walk in and be like, this motherfucker's it's possible that they could be they might be they might be the best teacher in his spite of it.
Yes, they have to go so far above and beyond. Right. Right. Right. Right. If someone with a face tattoo is an excellent teacher, then let them teach inmates. Stay away from my children. I don't have time for this. Isn't it funny? We have no problem with sleeves. Like it's my kids teacher to sleep. I'm like, oh, I think 30 years ago they probably did. If you showed up as a teacher 30 years ago, people like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Okay,
like a Bob now it is a sign of cool if you see someone with like a button down shirt and like this part of the arm, you see his completely done. You're like, all right. Yeah, quite cool. But so I think there's probably this probably conservative America would still feel like a little weird about somebody with a sleeve teaching her little girl in kindergarten as a representative of conservative America here.
I will say I was at my daughter's a T ball game and there was one of the moms pregnant and one of her kids is in the T ball game. And she's in shorts and just has two legs sleeve tattoos now no judgment. It was fine, but there was something where I was like, it's just a little odd. Let's go generation. I'm judging the town for letting the girl play T ball. Yeah, it's crazy. It's dangerous. I'm judging you for coming out as conservative.
There I now I know Joe. This is my new gift. I am now Mr conservative. We got to get you. Give it up on this. There's no money in it. I figured out. Definitely no money in it, but that's why they let it exist. You know, if there was another legitimate party that was actually challenging to the Democrats and Republicans, they would attack it.
They don't say a peep about the libertarians. Those are in their eyes. The libertarians are just vote stealers from the Republicans. Yeah, they were mad when Trump came this year, but aside from that, they don't really they don't see us as a threat. Yeah, it's it. No, no political party gets mad at the libertarians. It was furious the Republicans, the Republicans are furious at the Democrats. Nobody gives a fuck with the libertarians say.
Dave speaking at the thing was the funniest when he goes Donald Trump's going to come up here and we're going to show him that we know how to act and behave and because we are the right party. Well, I knew I'm a rapist. I got off stage and I passed by Angela McCartle, who's the chair of the libertarian party. And I walked right by her and I went zero percent chance. They listen.
Now let's go watch the shit show because this is going to be. How much of a shit show was it was awful. I mean, just the only watch like a little bit of it. So I went, I would they kick me out of backstage.
Because it's like a secret service like checkpoint thing or whatever because they're real on top of that. Not so big on people with rifles on buildings, but they got me out of there. And so I go out and I come back around in the main room. And I'm just I walk into the middle of just all the people like. And so and one of them at one point Trump goes, he goes, I fired Komi and one of the libertarians goes because he was because he was on to you. And I just turned to.
And that's not even the right heckle. And then the guy goes, what's the right heckle? I can't I can't give it to you right now. Well, the coax. Well, the coax. The Komi thing was what would they they were alleging first of all that the Clinton campaign was spying on the Trump campaign, right? Yeah, it was it was after that. He was trying to blackmail him and fucking Trump caught on to that. So he fired him. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Oh, how do you know? So okay, so if here we go guys. So you know, like, well, you know, the current about the Jezly, he came in and he goes, he did he definitely fucked everybody and and did this and raped everyone. And then we're like, well, how do you know he's like, I read. You're always reading something. But that's what you can do in comedy is that is enough to checkmate most comedians. Yeah, I read. You're not read. Yeah. Well, it's also it's just a funny thing to say.
Because you could also be like admitting the ridiculousness of it yourself. Well, saying I read, you know, because it's kind of an admission. Like I'm not there. I just go to the freak off. I know somebody came because I was one of these parties and man, he did he was like, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fuck me. Mill on the butt. But like, that's never going to have no one comes out.
So if you're like, if you're looking at that, but like what makes you conclude that he definitely was doing that. Because he basically the first time they ever met, he presented him with the steel dossier, which had all of the like, dirt, the peepee stuff. Yeah, all the peepee shit in it. I shouldn't say shit. There was no shit alleged. Just piss Russian piss. Yes, alleged Russian piss. That's the aspect of the illusion.
Something like that. And then it plays so dirty. They played dirty like a movie. It's it's pretty crazy. It's really wild. I don't know. I mean, do you see that's that was the number one fear of having these big agencies have so much power.
They would never want to relinquish it. They would never want to say like, hey, look, we're patriots. I think we should fall by the rule of constitution. Let the people decide. It's like everything else, man. Once you start running shit, you don't want to stop. Well, I've seen friends of mine have way less power go to their head. It's weird, right? I wouldn't trust these two with power. But it is a weird thing to watch, right? Yes. It's bizarre. That's human beings, though, man.
Now imagine that, but with no showbiz. No showbiz. So you get in that rush. But now the rush is controlling the world. Well, isn't that the way we feel about like crushing on stage, the way Hillary Clinton feels about crushing Libya. But he's like, we can't we saw he died. Wasn't that a crush?
Wasn't that Elrond Hubbard, though? Elrond Hubbard was like, hey, this will be funny. I'll start this and go into this star religion. And then like years later, you say when his friends he told that to hit him up like, this is crazy. Dude, you did it. He's like, you know, you like you ran that scam and he's like scam. You better get your feet and levels checked. He just started eating his own shit because like, uh...
Well, he was... Do you know that he's the most prolific writer in human history? Sci-fi was, yeah. More fiction than any other human being ever. More than Stephen King. More than anybody. And one body. And not a second draft amongst them. Everything he wrote was nonsense. Everything he wrote was hot nonsense. If you read it, it's like the dumbest stories. Well, do you remember the Dynetics commercial? Do you remember the commercials with the volcano, like the lava was going on?
Yeah. And it just gave you like, like the most generalized things that anyone feels, he goes, are you sometimes tired and sometimes awake? You did it before, right? Louis, when they had the time to wear a black guy. Because it was just kind of cool. I was like a dumb kid. So, like, hey, do you want us to test your stress levels? I was like, boy, do I? And I went over and I held these dumb things and it was like, you're stressed and I was like, I am right. They're like, come on inside.
They brought me into this weird thing. They tried to sell me a book. I don't really remember. I did that too. And I did that in San Diego. It was down there filming something and we were in the park. And it was like, I got a time where I could, a lot of people didn't know who I am and I could sneak in. And I sat down at this guy's table and he gave me the e-meter and I put my hands on the things and he told me what it was reading.
I'm like, how does this thing function? Like, what is it? What is it? It isn't reading off my butt. And the dude was like, oh, I don't want to explain. He didn't want to really be there. He's just a member who got roped into doing this thing. He had zero enthusiasm about the sale. They have the street team job for... It's the lowest level. It's the lowest level job you could have. It's having to go out and bark people into your church. Have you guys read Lawrence Wright's book about it?
I don't think so. It's called Going Clear. Oh, I saw the documentary. The HBO thing. Yeah, the documentary basically tells you all you need to hear. Thank God. It's such a strange religion. But here's the thing about it, man. This is what's weird about religions. This is my... I'm a moron, but I occasionally have these moments where I'm like, I think I know what the fuck is going on. If you really believe it, it benefits your life. Even if it's hot nonsense.
Even if it's a 14-year-old kid who finds golden tab, but they contain the lost work of Jesus, and only he can read it, because he has a magic rock. But if you get enough of those people, they make great neighbors. It's like, it's fucking works, man. They just want their kids to go to school. Is it better to be an atheist? And to be this person who just objectively looks at the world, and like, none of this makes sense. There's no way there could be a God. I think when you die, you die.
And that guy's fucking miserable. It's this. That guy's taking medication and all of his friends think he's annoying. I would think that maybe I'm out atheist, and you're right about all that. You believe in a higher power? No, I don't not believe. That's what my girlfriend says when I ask her. I believe there's more to the universe and more to life than we can think of through our narrow field of perception. That's what I think.
I think there's more to human contact and interaction than just people talking to each other. I think there's a thinly veiled reality that we live in where we express our souls to each other. That's what I think. And I think it's a very complicated and confusing thing that's fucked up by lies and deception and violence and war. Well, so many of them are things. It's enhanced by friendship and love and communication. There's a thing going on that's beyond just like you're born and you die.
And if that thing keeps going when the physical body stops existing, I wouldn't be surprised. I think religion is always the funniest to dial back to though, because all the organized stuff you were doing the Joe Smith story finds the tablets or the plates. Right, right, right. Everything. There could be more of a religion that was like a pitched by a dude, do a bunch of dudes. Well, this is the kid. Well, this is the kid. We could have a whole bunch of, a whole bunch of chicks.
And they all have to live next to each other. And you, yeah, fuck one. Well, they were like, it was like racist up until like 30 years ago. They were like black people were like the seed of the devil or whatever. And then they change it. They're like, no, they're cool now. They're racist when your women are bearded. You ever see sister wives? No, I hear stoke to have three of them. Yeah, but dude, two, two fours is an eight. Would you know the guy who wrote it? That's when Chick-Hit sketchy.
Yeah, there is something about like when it's from thousands of years ago. Yeah, it's easy to go like, look, there was a burning bush in God's spoke to this guy and you're like, when like 5,000 years ago, you're like, all right, fine. But when you're just like three Wednesdays ago, it happened. You're like, I'm not buying that.
There's enough stories that are similar about the ancient stories of like apocalypse is like this stuff about like the epic of Gilgamesh is real similar to knowing the arc. There's enough of those stories. Yeah, Jesus was like, they keep on just re-describing him from like thousands of years before Jesus was around that story of him being the son of God and all that other person. The Virgin Mother of the Black woman now. Jesus is trans. Jesus is a black woman. He could have been an alien. Jesus?
Yeah. Sure. That's not what Jesus could have been an alien. Get that much brain. Get that much brain. Someone who came here and didn't make any sense that he was born and he just existed but knew everything and was the son of God. I was trying to straighten everybody out and then they kill him. And we were like, all right, we tried. It literally could be an alien. I mean, if you're thinking about what how long ago this is, it's just thousands of years of people telling a story, right?
I mean, how long after Jesus is dead before they even write the new stuff? Well, why is no question that long ago people were. Hundreds of years after his death, right? At least a hundred years after his death? Well, it's, but you know what I'm saying? Like also a year ago, like no one considers the idea of works of fiction. Right. Like everything then was just written from the thing versus someone making entertainment. There's a combination of that and then real events are trying to document.
So both things are true because they had a lot of shit going on back then. Like they didn't have to write fiction. They were getting killed by swords. People getting lit on fire and shot with arrows. Like, this is not a time to be making shit up. Yeah, it's like what happened to your brother? And it's like, I don't know what beast got a hold of them. You can't be all- It can't be all-call-a-seeing. What's the more you got wine back in the video game? You're not going to listen.
That's life that then though. You're not going to write Harry Potter when you're going to be slayed by the romance. That's what your funny writing goes. I got the good idea. You're talking with like, I don't know, a magical school. The dude can walk on water. He walked on fucking water. And then he put a guy's ear back on. Water into wine. Come on, who's not happy with that idea? A lot of those miracles, I am studying magic right now for my magic show at Skankfest.
And I'm reading a book about magic. But a lot of those miracles that they talk about, they theorize that they were just like magicians that were doing tricks for people and they would get like- By the way, Jesus Christ would be a great name for a magician if there was no Jesus Christ. It's got a crusade to bring to it. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ would be a man. Come see Jesus Christ live at the Rio. Yeah, because it's got like a little bit of a Latin flair.
Because you know you could say it like, hey, Sus. And that's against the only people that I know of or I guess Spanish people as well. Where the name, hey, Sus, it's literally Jesus. You could name your kid Jesus. Like how many Muslim kids are named Muhammad? A lot. It was like the number one name for boys in Ireland like a couple of years ago. Muhammad? Yeah, Muhammad. They freak people out there like what? But you can't name your son, your American son Jesus.
It's going to raise a few eyebrows if you bring baby Jesus to the daycare. But isn't that crazy? I know you legally can't name your child Jesus Christ. Oh, is that true? That's it legally you can't. That's what we're done. I think the pendulum's going to swing back to like there was a time- Naming kids Jesus. No, but naming kids like when there was no actual like lines drawn on naming. Years and years ago as far as like race goes. So my grandmother's boyfriend when she does the name was Jerome.
Look at this. There's old tyrone like white tyrones. Wait, dude, that just stopped one day. Those became black names. These are all names that are ruled illegal by courts within the US. So Bobby Green just got his name changed to king. He also name legally changed to king green. Yeah, he's going to have to take this to the Supreme Court. Maybe not because it said go back to that please. But the states but before that it was like showing how many states. Does it say that?
Why can't it be 10 to 16? So it's not the so it was just the way it was phrased in the earlier thing that you had. Okay, here it is. There's a handful of names that were ruled illegal by courts within the US. So that could be local courts. So in some areas it's illegal to have these names. Not all areas. But I imagine you can't even call your kid Santa Claus. How about majesty? I imagine you can't call your kid Adolf Hitler. I'm going to name my kid Roman numeral too.
You could only call your kid majesty if you are an R and B. Sanger. Those are those are the best. There's so many rapper kids. There's so many rapper kids like kids you've read name like Prince. Yeah, that's fine. Prince is just that spelling though. Could I name my kid Messiah with like an apostrophe in the middle? Right, I bet you could. Yeah, I think you'd change the spelling. There you go. Messiah, go back to that again. Let me see the list. What is the third?
You can't be the Roman numeral three. You can't be the Roman numeral three. Yeah. The can't be your name. Is that come up a lot? So they had to make it illegal. Yeah. Imagine all the shit that's legal. The boss is giving his kid Thursday album. They'll let you in the border. But whatever you do, don't use that. Number three thing that Roman three. That's fucked up dude. You can't call your baby Roman number three. But like two and four are okay.
Okay, in 19th, North Dakota man named Michael Herbert Dangler, who was adopted, wanted to change his name to these four numbers which held philosophical and personal significance for him. State court rejected his name, changed his request in 1976. They're like, be the numbers. Campy used. Campy names due to potential confusion. Isn't like a, isn't Elon Musk kid's name? Like the sounds AOL used to make. Well, he calls his son X, but it's like a bunch of other letters too. Yeah. We all black.
Shhh. Oh, I'm glad. Imagine if you had that guy son, but you were a moron. Yeah, it's suck. God. I mean, our Swarzenegger had a son that was a schlub and then the one he didn't know he had looked just like him and was shredded and worked out constantly. Yeah, it's hilarious. I think the other son's Jack too now. Oh, he had to catch up them because he was a schlub. He kid. Sometimes he just, you know, fuck dead. I don't even want to lift woods. Yeah. If you're all the Swarzenegger's, you're set.
You have so much privilege. Like I would just never want to lift weights at that point. I could never imagine like building the foundation as like a young Swarzenegger to be like, I'm just going to work really hard now with something. Right, because you've born inside that house. Yeah. Well, Kennedy, you're half-candidate half-swarzenegger. That's crazy.
Tom Hanks has a son that became another Tom, like Hanks personally, you know, tucking in his polo shirts on a Sunday and then one went full-wigger. So it's like someone's, there's like a thing about the way you name your kid that someone brought up the other day. Fuck, I wish I remember who was saying this. But there's like an actual principle to it. And I think it's based on chat Hanks. No, yeah. It's like calling him chat just sets him up to be a chat.
Oh, it's like, yeah, you've never met awesome chats. Is it, chat's commentary is the exception to the rule. That's not what you picture when you picture a chat's. Well, isn't chat's commentary, is that his full name? Is that what you say? Or is it a shortened version? It's probably Charles, my guess would be. There's certain games that are associated. Like I have an ex-girlfriend. I won't even say her name. This hell crazy. She is like every girl I've ever met with this name is a crazy bitch.
But she's so crazy that I refuse to say her name. That loud. Wow, it's like Beetlejuice. I'm not saying Beetlejuice last night. How was it? It's fucking great. It's funny shit, man. It's funny shit. I heard the reviews are not good. That's probably why you like that. I heard the reviews. I heard the Crow was the same. I didn't hear about the reviews until after I saw it though. I didn't know anything about it. I just went in cold. It was great. That was like the female ghost busters.
Everyone hated it so much that I walked on a flight. I was like, it wasn't that bad. It's kind of funny. But Beetlejuice is better than that. Beetlejuice is really good. It's fucking great, man. It's like on par with the original movie. It's Tim Burton at his best. It's really good, man. I fucking enjoyed the shit out of it. When I heard that people didn't like it, I was like, really? Well, I believe all the bullsh** every right away with their like Michael Keaton's only in it for 10 minutes.
Well, that was a great way. I know. So they wanted to make sure that he wasn't in it anymore. Because in the first movie, he was only in it for 13 minutes, a total, right? Yeah. So they were like, they didn't want to change that element. So they purposely made it. So he was in it for around the same amount of time. Yeah, all that fucking number stock. It's nonsense. It's the movie's fun. Like, you don't give a shit if he's in there. When no one rides great, everybody's great.
It's a fucking fun movie, man. And it's Tim Burton at his weird best. It's very weird. No, I wouldn't trust it, Alec. I wouldn't trust it anymore. I wouldn't trust it anymore. I met when on a rider on the streets in New York City when I was selling comedy club tickets right after she got arrested for shoplifting. Yeah. That was the most bizarre thing ever. She was like, I'm... Did you get a gotter? I'm... You're like, oh my god, she has the same likes as me.
Well, she was in like a... I get it for the volume makeup, you crazy bitch. But it's just genuinely like craziness, right? Because she's red. She was a movie star at that time. She didn't need the money. I think it was a thrill thing. I think it's for a lot of people, it's a thrill thing. What's the last thing you stole, Joe? I stole a candy bar when I was 13. That's the last thing? Yeah. I was so embarrassed. Like a security guard. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good.
Pulled me into a back room and... Oh, it's terrified. And I don't even know what I was doing. I was just doing it because I thought I could get away with it. You know? We were fucking young kids walking around. Yeah, that's really the thing is what's the worst thing you got caught stealing. Mine was stuffing porn magazines down the front of my pants. And putting my shirt over it. And I mean, the guy to find... Oh my god, try reselling that now. The guy at the drugstore.
The guy at the drugstore was baiting me to do it. Like he couldn't... He was baiting you now? Like he was leaving porn out? No, no, no, no. The porn section was... He was getting baited. He tricked me. He tricked him. No, no, no, no. He just... I think he's a porn omag and then he's got the whole airshing rods. I'm gonna catch this little... It was a trap. You know, baiting is the wrong word for him. Say, he knew I was getting ready to... He felt that I was waiting to find my moment.
He could have stopped you before you did the climb. He just started before I did and said, Hey, you can't be in here unless you're gonna blow up. I kind of made notice. He laid back and I was kind of like... He knows, I'm like, I guess not. He's just sitting there. And then an old man spinning you around and lifting your shirt to show the half of porn magazines sticking up. How old were you? Just ran, like the 12 maybe? I ran so fast. 12 year old boy should not be left alone.
It's just for their own devices. I used to run cars. 12 years old, me and my friends would break into cars in the shop right parking lot and just clear out all the change in the center console. All it takes is one bad kid in the neighborhood that's fun. My biggest steal wasn't even like for money or anything. I was staying at my... My grandmother's friends house. My aunt and eating Uncle Herb. And Uncle Herb had a nice stack of like porn magazines that I found. There's a pattern.
There's a pattern. This is funny. Well, this is one I thought I'd get away with for no reason. I took a few of them. I just want... I think every one of these stories is going to end with Jay being spun around and his shirt lifted up. Like, so her... This is proverbially that because I took a few of his giant stack being like, he'll never miss these. And if he does, he's not going to think it was me.
And if he does think it's me, we're going to have this quiet code of like, what are you going to tell my mom? I took your... You're... It's like somebody looked to find out that you're porn magazines now. That's exactly what he did. He didn't give a shit. He was like, I want my porn magazines back. And then went down the channels from my grandmoms to my mom. Oh, did I grab these? Oh, shit. That's a shit. Oh, dude, that's such an embarrassing to get a phone call.
Because your uncle Herb wants is... To pre-internet porn was like gold. When you're a kid at that age, because we had a magazine that we found on the woods and another kid stole it from us. And it was a thing. Every kid found dirty magazines on the woods. The woods. And, of course, you just hoped that it was wet for the right reasons. They're always damp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then, I had that one at home for a little while. And I used to... I used to... I used to live in a shitty apartment.
So, like, a drop ceiling. So, I used to keep it inside of my ceiling to hide it from my mom. And I would just... It was like literally covered in mud and water. Did you guys see that shit that was going down in Philadelphia? Yesterday? Were we on those street takeovers? I saw a video clip. I don't know if it was. The cop car drives towards it and hits his lights and thinks he's going to get them to scatter. them to scatter and they just jump all over the car. I didn't see that video. It's crazy.
It's crazy. And what is it they're doing? Check this out. Look, so the cop, they've got a street takeover. So they just decided to stand in the middle of the street and block traffic. Oh, is it a protest? No, I don't know what they're doing. I think they're just getting crazy. I don't know if they're protesting anything. I think they're just a group of kids just decided to get crazy. This is a United States of America.
This is like, what if you saw that this was happening at Ecuador, you'd be like, yo, Ecuador is out of control. Right? But no, this is the United States of America in Philadelphia watching happens to this cop car. Wait, what was the fur, go back a little bit. What was the person who spun out with like a person hanging off the car? They're going crazy. It's a street takeover. They're doing that with their cars. That's what they're doing.
So they block traffic and then they spin around in circles and their cars and they organize it. So this cop tries to break it up and they just fuck this cop's car up, dude. Hundreds of kids and no ones can control of them. Go, bird. You are in that situation and you're parked in your car in like a traffic because there's like a cop. If I'm a cop, but if you're not a cop, I'm a cop. You're just wearing the blast everybody for the windshield. You can't shoot enough people. There's 200 to people.
There's so far to you. I can get 16 of them. You might be able to get three of them. The first time I was seeing someone with a John went through just head shots. It'd be such a wild panic knowing you only have 12 bullets. But the first one, God, well, the last one's for yourself. You can't let them have you. The first time you see someone with authority in your life or something, have to realize like a can't win situation is awkward. You know what I mean?
I mean, seeing a cop have to kind of surrender or have to give up. My step-op when we were younger, we were driving back. My step-op was like, power lifter always. Like a big, tough guy to me I always thought. And we were driving back from the Philadelphia Zoo one day through Fairmount Park and they had shut it down for what's called the Greek picnic, which is all the black fraternities in this big giant park. I love the old Greek guy that shows up for it. Yeah. It's a great good barbecue.
Jamie put that video back up. But they, my step, see, these guys were coming and they were just walking all through the street, all these black frat dudes and like, it was traffic jam because they were in the middle of the street and sitting like on the hood of our car and stuff like that.
Oh no. And my step-op just being like, I just seem to just kind of sitting there kind of eating it and like realizing that I was like, you know, it was almost like that, Joe, why aren't you gonna, you know what, you're right. Like this is just an unwitting. That's one of my biggest fears that I'm gonna be with my son and I'm gonna get chumped out by tougher men than me. It's the most horrifying thing in the world, dude. Look at this video.
And imagine if you're a person that just was going to see your aunt got your car. You got stuck behind this. You had no idea you're gonna be trapped in this kind of traffic and they're just gonna block off the street for who knows how long. I set the join them. Just start doing fucking donuts. Also that people, I mean, Jesus Christ. That's my car on fire. Likely hood of one of these kids getting run overs very high. It happens all the time. All the time. They get hit by cars all the time.
They go flying through the air. It's like a dumb thing that they do. Are these stolen cars? Yeah, they're stolen cars. But these guys get so close to each other. They hit each other all the time. All the time. People go flying through the air. Boom! Boom! If you're a teenager, it does look like it's a lot of fun. Oh look, man. You don't have a dad and your mom's a con and she does math. Yeah, I'd be there too. It's a nice cut loose. Do you bring in the middle? I'll be there too.
Imagine being in the middle right there, you'd feel like a king. Yeah, I was your dad beats you. You know, if your dad's an alcohol who just beats a shit out of you and you only love you get us from your friends on the streets. I was telling. Yeah, I'd be doing that too. I was telling these guys yesterday. I saw a video where it's a guy. Some of the people filming anything now. It's a guy in Times Square who films himself going up and just talk robbing a guy. Just talk.
He just goes, hey man, come here. He goes, you guys are doing a new documentary called, I just got robbed. He's like, what do you guys, I'm going to need you wallet. Don't run. Don't be weird. He's like intimidate and the guy, and the guy's name is Rob. He's clever. The kid's so happy that he's not getting beat on and just nervous and the baby's not getting beat up. He pleasantly gives him everything and it's kind of like, not go over there. He's like, all right man, be easy man.
Be easy and the guy's like, all right man, cool. He just gives him stuff and walks away. He gives him his stuff back. No, no, no. He just comes and he doesn't want you to. Yeah, it's pretty nuts. Is it even illegal? I just go up to you. Is it real? It seems very, very real. Are you sure that he doesn't give it back to him after they stop filming so that it's not a crime? And it's just a stunt? No, I think this happens all the time. People get arrested actually for it. Really?
How crazy are those words? There's people who have done something like, like, like, all their guns and say, I'm about to go kill so. So this happens all the time in New York. This happened to a former Miss New York, she was in the park and these two young, like, maybe Puerto Rican kids or black kids, they come up and like, hey, you know what we're trying to still can before a basketball team, that old scam. And then she was going over to cash. They were like, oh, you could send us a zeal.
And she was like, sure. And then they got her to give them their phone. And then they just sent themselves $2,000 under zeal and handed her phone back and just ran away. And they just couldn't get the money back. Oh my God. I'm Jesus. Yeah. I start. They may have been black or Puerto Rican. And he said selling candy further football team or whatever. Like, it definitely was black or Puerto Rican. I know. I was struck there black.
I never had a boy kid trying to run the old biceme M&Ms from East Gam. You got to have laws, kids. Kids dangerous out there. You leave people to their own devices and you get that shit. You get people going wild in the streets. Dude, it's a very scary. Thank God we all survived being that age because you're just so stupid. And yet you're in the body of kind of a grown up and you just have like all these, you know, just testosterone and fucking being young and not knowing.
Like, I could so easily if I lived in Philly and in one of those things. I was in a band full of those things away from being at one of those things. One of those kids. But does that guy, the guy, the idiot who keeps jumping over the car and lighten the fire in the middle? Is he look back? Is he 55 one day going like, oh, yeah, I was a little. You think you live 55? No, probably not. Probably dies under a donut. I suck it out, I soaked up SUV.
High likelihood that young man's involved in other questionable activities. Yeah, maybe but I'm saying, but there's just those guys like, I don't know how you like grow up out of that that's going to be something that really nails it. I mean, my childhood was outside of it. Crazy far from that. I mean, it wasn't, I just wasn't with that crew, but I was doing pretty like, rancid shit. I was stealing and you guys, you guys just couldn't afford to pull that off. You would have.
Well, it wasn't a thing, it wasn't a thing back then. Like, that's only been a thing for the last like how many years Jamie as street take over with the internet videos. Yeah, 15, 20, I don't know. Honestly, maybe never when I was a kid, there was none of that. No one ever blocked this street and did donuts. Yeah, yeah, you did donuts in the school park and lot if you knew where the cops were. They would drag race, though, and Philly, they would like stop lock off streets and like drag race.
Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true. Did you find Jamie the guy robbing? No, I was actually, I was, I checked a couple of my designs. 1980s. Look at that. Instagram actually. Side shows, they call them side shows. Yes, that's how I saw it first. That's the thing from the Bay area. So the first occurred from the streets of Oakland during the mid 1980s back in the old and dead. It does seem like a very asiany activity.
Yeah, I think that's the stealing the cars is probably more of a newer thing. Right. Back in the day, they were just like it was like a car show essentially right there was showing off their cars. Yeah, they, yeah, in the 70s and 80s, they'd have the, you know, the ones with the hydraulics and shit. Yeah, that would happen. Oh, it comes from a, it comes from a Bay area rapper Richie Rich's side show. Damn, bankrupt to the light. Let me warm it up. I hit a donut tight. Raps socks.
I hit a donut tight Chevy on my side. Condo straight tinted, he got hype when he saw me spin in. I do. I like a lot of it. The what rap some rap is fun. I know I love tons of rap. That's whatever that was was terrible. Well, that also, you didn't really sell it like if I was at an audition, I'd be like big jay next time. I want you to be in the moment you, you know, you're, you're rapping about these things. You really feel this. You feel very strongly about these issues.
He's trying to lure those new false sides. We have to rap battle this Friday I see what I have a feeling it's gonna be better than I did but if we find the song sideways I bet that guy doesn't kill it. It's all that because that has to come from the air. What's the 90s? I guess so so it might not be mumble rap right Someone that fucking 90 stuff still holds up man. Oh, yeah, most of it does. Yeah, you know what I listen to the other day Tim dog
Yeah, Tim dog remember that guy. No, he was like the first guy who went against the the guys from Compton What was he based that?
No, he's a New York guy see it as yeah, he had a song called fuck Compton He probably was pretty ballsy at the time Well, that was the worst rap befending ever with the NWA NWA split up from ice cube and then uh Dr. Dre left and and him and easy went into their own thing and then that beef ended in an AIDS death It's like you don't see those ones happen anymore Well those beefs they would go to actual shooting each other That's what's the craziest thing like never in the history of show business
Was there a scenario where stars were having other stars murdered like openly what's happening now more than ever Yeah, it's easier to become like a like a A quarter-m-quote star on the internet now. So a lot of these guys are like getting really popular and then getting killed like young Brothers wildest conspiracy theory about that has to do with intelligence agencies. Oh that the CIA made them
Made him gangster and shit like that. Yeah, that they funded it and promoted it because they wanted to fill prisons That's the wildest But it like you want to do you stay in the live society and you get kids like young kids who are like we're talking about Doms do really easily if wins don't know what the fuck's going on and you introduce them to rap music
It will most certainly change the way they think about life. Yeah, especially I don't know enough about that whole conspiracy and stuff But it is crazy if you're like if you remember the 80s and 90s the transformation from hip-hop from being like the K. R. S. One kind of like it
There were like all these songs about like cleaning up their streets and listening to your dad I'm like rap was just it took this drastic turn from being like very positive like pro black kind of thing To just all the sun being like we're killing everybody and fuck it With because I listen a lot of hip-hop like when I work out, but it's like it's just in slab I'll be listening to the most hardcore shit and it's like this is nice Let me turn up the treadmill a little bit
I'm like if you're in the hood. It's just inspiring you to murder people in the rob banks My my favorite workout rap is Nas because the lyrics are so good it gets you hyped up
You know got like that's the thing about the 90s hip-hop. It was like so lyrically based Do you gotta listen to any beef wraps any beef wraps are the best to work out to just like I and I take no sides I'll be right biggie and two pockets Just want to Everyone ice you Ice you put out no Vaseline You do not want to get in one of those rap battles with ice cube That he was so great for his time in rap. He was fucking proud. He's such a good writer
Hey, well they did the song jack and for beats and that's when he made the song. It's everybody else's If he's changing all the most popular beats and he just does rap, oh, it's great
Didn't he do a lot of the writing for nw? I think I think he was the I think that was basically like the thing was he wrote all the songs I mean like I think that d.o.c guy probably wrote a bit too, you know, I'm friends with Willie D from You know get a boys get a boys and he wrote everything you wrote like most of their songs He told me he wrote fuck a war in 45 minutes If we were talking about on the podcast, he sent me a text because I wrote fuck a war in 45 minutes
I just sat down and I was like motherfucker war. Have you heard that song? Yeah, I can't remember. I can't remember. Oh, bro, we got a play. We got a play. Can I tell you that one of my favorite lyrics that never struck out to me Or stood out to me when I was younger, but always makes me laugh and my mind's playing tricks on me Oh is when bushwick bill
You know, he's a midget and then uh, he sings this song. He goes uh, this wasn't no ordinary dude He stood about six or seven feet He goes that's the end where I be seeing him asleep He goes that's not even that great Look at what he would Jamie just pulled up and Jamie the investigative journalist that he is just pulled up that
Ice Cube formed his first rap group called CIA in 1986. Oh my god. It's all right in front of his man Connected that's bro I was having about coffee now like every interview with Puffy He's just like just being a little bit weird but everyone was like it was right in front of you, bro He was letting us know the whole time When I went bill mar said the N word on his show and then the next week had to give us a apology to ice cube was the funniest thing What a weird person have to do it
And then he's he's goes. I'm really sorry as Cuban ice cube like well bill ma Is a good moment to teach you something it was so bad. Do let me hear fuck a war This is one of my all-time favorite war songs with bushwick bill was fun because it was like a south park character Like you can say the wildest shit because you just he was different and you like Let him say it. He's a tiny guy. Did you ever hear ever clear when he tells the whole story of
Making his girlfriend shoot him in the eye. Yes. Yes. Crazy when I used to deliver newspapers. I used to listen to this Uncle set son You delivered him on bicycle now is an advanced I delivered him my uncle Had a route and I had a I had a I would go with him like two o'clock in the morning. Tell him about the window. Yeah Dave Smith you should go on stage to this I am loving it. Oh, it's great. Keep me a little more That picture is crazy. They cover the album
So funny this was like hard in the 80s. Yeah, I know that you damn hope I know I think the the flow of it doesn't seem anymore Yeah, it seems bubbly call me a funky sucker Can you imagine being a woman being abused by a black midget and he makes you shoot him in the eye Where's her son of that story. I can't be her first mistake He's made a lot of mistakes. That's the end of a long series of Yeah, you won the lottery You gotta do the work you let it get to a position
Where you're fucking being forced to shoot your tiny man's eyeball out. Hey shoot me in the eye. What's crazy tiny asshole? Jesus Christ. He's got some good will he's got some great bushwick stores That was a guy that I wanted to get on the podcast, but he got sick like right right where we're talking to his people He apparently got sick bushwick bill. Yeah, and he went up in the hospital. I'm like god damn that would have been a good one
How long how old did he died? It was a few years back. He wasn't that old, you know, he had a lot of health problems. What year was it? 2019 he was 52 2019. Yeah, so it was right right before that He got sick 52 Did you ever get scar face? No, I'd love to have him on you ever see the tiny desk thing he did
Mm-hmm fucking incredible. You know that tiny desk. Yeah performance thing they do But scar face did it and like slowed everything down to fit with the vibe of being in this like really tight thing And so it was like, you know, he's always been a great right give me some of this Okay
My thing is done. How does it feel Jay? How does it feel to be on the under the other end of it? I don't like it one bit Those camera lanes It's kind of strange yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well also which strangers again seeing We'll never know what how corny or not an old biggie or two-pop would have been So it's by a scene like he's not that he's corny, but he's just an older guy now, you know
I mean, he's got doesn't live any kind of gangster life. You think this is corny? No, no, no I'm saying I'm saying he became you get to see how people would become no, it's not corny at all But it's much more it's much softer energy than you ever thought of scar face in the 80s and 90s It does feel like it's a scar face song that you could read one of these books too
Like this guy just be beyond guys. Yeah, if you if you told me this was a guy who was in the roots or something you'd be like Yeah, yeah, that makes sense But isn't it make more sense that he's like this now? This is an intelligent guy that kept a vote of the thing as a human being
Right 100% and you should have off. Yeah, which is great It's way better than the one that hasn't evolved since high school If you're Justin Bieber and you get a singing a girl's voice when you're 80 You know that that that that high pitch thing his first time I heard him singing Well, wow, this girl sounds amazing and they go that's Justin Bieber and I go oh What a crazy voice we'll bring him in here anyway. Yeah, also when he was but he was really young back then
What am I like to do? Jay DJ Paul was 36 month here. Yeah, 36 month. Yeah, I just so I just saw Uh, okay, Jay Paul at gathering the jugalos. I performed that he was one of the people formed it's so funny Seeing the people who get what's happening there versus the performers who don't because
He was up there. He knows like he's been in with that audience. I think tech nine also does that so he does all the family chance and stuff DJ Paul and he just gets that crowd get some going but they throw shit constantly and they're all kinds of crazy shit Rock him went up there and if I rock him back the third Song and like you know they were throwing shit to stay but they're into it the audience and then he just kind of stops the song and he goes a I'm about that fuck shit throwing stuff man
So you could throw shit and we could leave or we could do some rap music and the crowd was just kind of like oh, they got it See back in the day when we did it. We did it 15 years ago. They stopped dude. They were fucking savages So I think they're I think they gather in the jugalos crowd has gotten older. They're old. Yeah, they're all 40 now So it's like they're like okay if you don't want us to throw stuff we won't Which is great. I feel like no
I think they were a little more like this are thing though. They had to have a moment where they were like all right It's a choice between throwing stuff or rap music We did it 15 years ago when we were just so young comedy and we didn't know what it was it was midnight in a tent in the woods with the insane clown boss He's a comedy tent. It's still that. I know I know but now that we are I mean they had a guy a clown pick us up in a van
It's a duro's that talks about it in his he has that joke on his back jokes. Yeah up trucks Joe he's a comic from Michigan. He still runs it. He just doesn't do it So they pick up an event. It's the scariest thing ever. You're like it's just pitch black in the woods in the darkness And when they put us up there like these people aren't there for comedy. They're there for this whatever experience So they just start throwing like just cans of soda and beer and alcohol
Jay goes to me. He's like dude just a week because I was going first He was like I'm like a year in comedy He's like Jay's like just go up there and do jokes Don't just go up in there and smoke weed and do crowd work. He was like me and it was veky on who's like a straight-up joke guy So he was like you're gonna set us up to fail if you don't do jokes
So within 10 seconds like a beer can whizz past my head. I was like oh is that weed and there's smoke weed with them for five minutes No, it's head on he put on oh yeah the gas mask weed thing you couldn't even talk through that weed Closer
And then I sent and then Mike Vicki. I went out and I was the only one that was booked on it I was just like they want me to do a show so they were with me on another gig I'm like comment will do this one and you guys go on so uh Mike Vicki on goes on and it's They're not paying attention to him and yelling at him and I remember you kind of looked at me off side of the stage
I was like you can wrap it up like I'll go eat the rest of this shit. I remember one of his premise though No, why yeah, I remember the premise because he goes I said that feel you know that feeling like when you're when it's going rough and you see the light Somehow you even have like another five minute burst in you because you know you are done
So like let me see what I can do now. It's going to be that freeing thing So I gave Vicki on that kind of like you can wrap it up dude And he goes uh, uh, and I told myself is energy change and he just goes he's gonna do his last big joke or whatever and he goes
So hey guys, I had a dream last night and the crowd so one of the crowd goes fuck your dreams And I don't think he finished I don't think he finished a bit and then he brought me up And then I was supposed to do like 45 of which I did 20 maybe because I remember saying uh Where they got mad at me at that I asked him why there's to wrap festival with no black people
And then a black guy stood up, but he was like how about me? I went one jug of bro And then and then they just booed and someone yelled they all bleed clown and I just was like oh god They all bleed clown. Yeah, I know how to respond to that Isn't it amazing though that you could just If you just create a place where anybody can join You're gonna get a group of people you know whether it's the insane clown policy or the Mormons
Like if you just like I respect the jugalos more than the Mormons. No, hell yeah. I think they're similar Well, honestly, they're more happy being jugalos and the I have it jugalos didn't exist That should be the the judge of all of it though like you said before it's like what does this actually do for you?
Right forget whether any of it's real It's just like are you happier is your life better because you're a juggle so if you've ever listened If you ever listened to the insane clown posse's music, it is unironically pretty awesome I'm not gonna look like I thought I was gonna hate it, but every song it rules. It's just about clowns killing people Well, it's hard to a great beat. It's horror rap. Oh It's horror I am thoroughly I said that
Festivals pretty amazing. I'm thoroughly so just always impressed with the music is subjective to anybody But I'm like the what they've done. I think it's amazing. I'm with there. I mean they are World famous known They just did the VMAs and they're kind of the only band that's ever pulled off having like a whole festival Yeah, yeah, we're the second one It's never enough without us doing the gathering of jugalos. We wouldn't have even done scant
That's so much influence from the gathering of the jugalos and our audience. There's a lot of crossover In fact, I'll say it now because it's too late for people to even go But our secret guess is the insane clown posse on Thursday night at the takeoff party. That's amazing. That's amazing
Dude, this legion of skanks is one of the most important things in comedy. Thank you. Thank you You really are I put you guys in the same like there's this brackets of like Killtony legion of skanks There's a thing about having these battlegrounds where you go no no no We're gonna say what we would say if we were fucking around together Like you could deal with it or you could not deal with it But this is how we would the conversations we're having are exactly like green room conversations
Well, yeah, it's and I feel like now. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong But I feel like almost like the tide has turned in some weird way like it's kind of coming back
It definitely yes. There were like these big moments. I think um Like when they tried to cancel you and that didn't work Shane getting snl just like big things where it's kind of like oh, they're almost admitting Okay, we lost the great sensor Comedians war, but for those years I think it was it was good to have Legion of skanks for a lot of those for a lot of those comics I was just like well this is the place where you could still do whatever we were just opening the door a little bit to say
Fucked up shit and people would come on our show. I mean the amount of times people like dude should I've not said that on your show But you guys did a wise thing too though because you were subscription based Hmm, right? So for the longest time if you wanted to find out what you guys were talking about you had to subscribe
So you had like that was kind of like plan on that too. It's kind of keep our ourselves a little safe from We have our own platform and what we put out margin on YouTube We put it out on iTunes, but we play by the rules there So we edit out all the shit you can't say on those platforms
And if you want to see the real version the way that we do it you got to go subscribe Um, and honestly with YouTube the way they started censoring everything It actually now because for we've been to this for like eight years
But now more than ever a platform that we like we have is more important than ever Because now YouTube is super strict with everything we do We have to bleep things we have to censor things there's certain topics we can't even put in the podcast It's so wild that there's only really one YouTube
Like if you had to predict at the beginning of the internet when they first started putting videos and like those little media players You'd get with windows What you who the fuck would have ever thought there would only be one streaming site that anybody cares about
There's a few other ones but nobody does say no one casuals like Google is like the search engine But like there's a whole bunch of other ones but no one but you also bought out YouTube and I mean they it was so smart The way they did it but yeah like you can't go to no fence the rumble like
When you put the podcast on rumble nobody watches it There's no one there's a show that have big audiences on rumble like that They can't be sparing bigger than rumble Yes, that's that's kind of the the dynamic and it is
Google and YouTube which I one in the same now it is amazing how they just became the thing For something that there's no clear reason why there should be one thing But nobody is like if you say something and you go is that true and I go yeah, Bing it Well The YouTube thing though
It's like they they have it so dialed in like the recommendations and there's constant You could go down rabbit hole after rabbit hole after rabbit hole and never find the end and Be endlessly entertained and it encourages you to keep looking at other stuff keep showing you other stuff Constantly and they're all the
In the universe is that algorithm now. It's insane how much that like that formula has this much power And they like if they if YouTube decides we're gonna push this person they could make someone
One of the most influential people. Yeah, so the industry is because it's not even like the industry The industry's become tech nerds that are like in charge of all these algorithms and they can like who knows how it works Who knows when they just pick and choose and what they all I know is YouTube thinks I want to see Ben Shapiro a lot more than I want to see YouTube's like I'm pretty sure you're gonna love this guy now how caught what I said told yesterday right the guys name
I asked you about because I just found me yesterday was a
Kirk Charlie Kirk. Yeah, he's big. I watch him in Ben Shapiro. Yeah, let college kids That is such a weird one That is such a weird one when you sit down with like young kids that don't know what the fuck they're talking about Never been on camera ever and he give him a microphone It's you know even even if they're willing to sign the release the 19 year olds don't know what the fuck they're saying Well the one girl is not right that you should be sure
Well, girl was getting dominated on the thing that I was gonna say that like she even says it where I do like even though I'm kind of like Lady you sound dumb. I felt genuinely bad for her when she goes He like gave her like some kind of smart me like
Boo, you know, and she just kind of goes uh, she's like I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm nervous like I don't talk on micro photo Lot like I think you do so like I'm so and I was almost like yeah, dude like of course you're like housing her and when no one she says something Everyone's around starts booing and she starts kind of like smiling, but it's not a smile of like bring it on
She's doing the smile like I don't know what to do like she's that scary. I've just been frozen before a lot makes me feel bad For not only that but then that girl now is internet famous, right? So did she really understand what she was doing like did you really understand what the consequences of that are when you're 19 or whatever Age is also if you're an adult and you're arguing with a child a 19 year old a 20 year old the the goal of it
It should always be with the tone of a like well look. Let me let me give you something to consider like maybe I get why you feel that way, but like hey, maybe look at it this way. It should never be like I want to have the crowd go Oh god you destroyed. It's like what you do. It's like you ever see like a comedian who's like a kid like a like a 16 or 15 year old kid Like every I have a hard time ever really enjoying him because I'm going like you have no idea
You've lived absolutely no experiences. You have no like perspective on the world or anything Maybe you understand it. It's all joke, but it's kind of um yeah, oh that's what does that I'm making someone famous on America's got talent something like that. You're like what do you do? I became friends with Chappelle when he was 19. I saw Chappelle when he was 19. He's doing like he was a Savant though He was but he also did a thing that was really interesting where he would do outside shows
He would just throw a hat down and start doing stand up on the street. No anywhere. Oh, yeah He did in Montreal. He did it right in front of the club soda We did a show and then Chappelle goes outside and fucking does stand up to people in the street And they all gathered round and he was doing stand up in the street In Montreal, crushing, crushing, crushing and this is it. This was him at 19. Yeah, so no he's not famous at all Maybe he was a couple years older by then
Maybe he got his first deal. So this was this was For I want to say Um, I did the Montreal comedy festival with him and I met him in like 91 Somewhere around then so what how old was Dave in 1991 That will he did a minute Robin and tight when he was 19. I believe dude He was crazy like he would do this thing where he would just do stand up out to people he was 19 He would just do stand up on the street
It was the craziest thing you'd ever seen man. I would If anybody did that now and put it on video, we would all mock them But He learned how to do it from Charlie Barnett and Charlie Barnett was like a famous New York comic that got on saturday Live but couldn't read couldn't read so that's how he murphy got the game. Yeah Well, that's why he lost the gig because he couldn't read the scripts. Yeah, he was probably was pretty popular at Charlie
Barnett. He was like in DC cab right a couple things like he was a hilarious comic He was poppin and then yeah, he couldn't read the cue cards so they had to hire any Murphy and he I think he influenced Dave a lot in that too That like he saw Charlie doing those better better learn how to read Dave That poor guy man, I saw the early the early influence of uh Tony Woods Tony Woods. Oh, yeah for sure
But Tony Woods still is hilarious. He's great. He's doing the he's doing the festival this year right? Is he was there last year? Yeah, yeah, he's awesome. He did my podcast then we went to the Vulcan and did a show and he murdered man Oh, he's a killer dude really really really low energy low energy and levels charismatic though
He's just so good at engaging with the crowd. He's he's very good as some some comedians just have that gift of Like lowering you into their world like Nate Bargazze is very like that like when you watch him You're just like you slow down and you just kind of like sink into his feel unless I'm yelling at the Screaming at the top of my lungs. There's no You're in turn. Oh, but isn't that a person? That's more of your personality
Which isn't true like imagine if you were forced to do Stephen Wright's act. Oh my god This is not me, but for Stephen Wright. It's perfect. Yep. For Stephen Wright. It's the fucking best act. Yeah, you're very low energy You're you're you bring you kind of bring them into you, but it's very you sit down, which is like a let's buy design though because
You're lazy. I said I watched it's very lazy No, I watched Patrice like it's a it's a complete like I'm like Patrice's things was watching him go from standing to sitting and seeing that the crowd some of the people That took him in his very like he's like looming over them and saying he's like crazy things Uh-huh like being like turned off by that to seeing when he was laying back and letting them come into him
He could say like much more people like embrace that they were leaning into him. That makes sense And when you're a big guy, but that's why it's fun as a big presence I was I'm gonna say this kind of crazy shit like when I'm down over there It looks like I'm like pointing down at them right right. It's gonna say a little thing kind of like coming to the stage That actually does make sense that if you and also they're sitting down too. Why you standing up?
Well, you're not moving around unless you have some activity in your act if you've got some activity If you've got some things you gotta act out of it. I started the black comedy clubs, but I was doing a straight Chris rock pace Yeah, a lot of Direct finger point you know what I'm talking about
Yeah, that's a good those juicy elect up. Yeah, man It's uh, it's interesting now too because like kill Tony sort of a similar situation as getting interviewed by Charlie Kirk So these fucking dudes with their first time ever they do stand up and it's at Masses Square Garden
Oh, yeah, it's like what the fuck and they go out there and they just Frozen in the eyes of 16,000 people and that's gonna be them forever Everybody it works like look at Mikey bombing look at Mikey This fucking idiot thought he was funny And then the comments all your neighbors I got him right before me
Just got booed. I couldn't even hear what he got booed before I just know he followed a Handy kept guy who gave a sweet emotional speech about The being handy capable and then he walked off and I said the other guy just got there and they were like Fuck this by ped No, he was like um, whatever does it a shall I kill Tony if you're good looking It's just it's held against you pretty quickly
Fuck you dude. Where are your burn scars Like the rest of earth The audience Well, you see someone that's good looking and they're gonna spotlight on fuck you It's like a natural Subconscious thing though. I think we good looking people we want to grease the wheels for a little bit good
Look people have have it pretty easy in life in comedy. It's just a weird thing It's just you almost give him a little bit of humor is the weapon of the not good looking person to like count our Abyss so you're immediately going like you're hot you don't have a fucking person There are good looking people who are hilarious and have good personalities, but generally speaking
Well, you know, you are generally funny. It's not likely. Right. Schumer She over had a thing one time she said I saw on stage the seller once and it was about her and her boyfriend Meeting Kate upton and like she walked away to go get something to drink whatever when he came back. He was like Yeah, his her husband said to Amy. He was like she's great man. She said the funniest story is The idea of like come on man. Don't
We have you you learned George Clooney that prankster. He's the best that guy is the funniest dude like he's fine That best I'm sure relax. It's a personality trait to get laid We all learned to be funny when we're kids because we're not good looking enough to get laid without it It's like look I either got to get funny or dude donuts in the streets of Philadelphia It's easier to get funny. I love when really good looking actors tell you who to vote for
They're my favorite. They're my favorite The these are the guys with all the wisdom and then they're gonna tell you The same they're the same guys told you get vaccinated too by the way Oh the best same guys the best was like early in it like in March and April when they would all take videos from their mansion
And be like we're all in this together. Yeah, I would also stay on the bank Here imagine all you're twirling a Tom Collins with your finger on a raft If you look from the future if we go into apocalyptic times Do you think they'll look back and like the shutting down of the country for a year and a half as like the trigger that made society begin to collapse? I don't think they well they'll never acknowledge they were wrong. Do you think but like his story?
There's objective historians you think they'll look back at this time and be like this is the fall of Rome Dude, I've got a lot of books written about this period in time. I think it's the internet. The internet is the beginning of the end for everything But yeah, it's not because the internet didn't shut the fucking country down for a year and a half
The internet didn't do that. They share the ideas that quickly Yeah, but it's it's a very specific group of people who decided that was a good idea Now you wouldn't have had anyone even fighting back against it if it wasn't for the internet. It would have all just been without the internet
They would have pulled that off so much easier. They would have scared the shit out of you Whether you would never know Yeah, but if there was this happened in the 1980s you would never know how many people died on respirators You would never know about any that shit. You wouldn't know about a goddamn thing. They didn't want you to know about that That's what's so scary about the idea today. We hear about the Spanish flu. You're like how do you know how many people died?
There was no internet. There was no like there's no way. Yeah, by the time you got your horse to the next place with the information People have died Living back then you you were fucked if you lived in the city the hygiene was insanely bad people would shit in these Outhouses that were set up for the block They never never a disease. They never present that I think that always when I see you watch like tombstone stuff and like right Kurt Rosslone grow over off into the woods to go kiss and like
God better armpits smell like shit. Yeah, she's gone. She's gum disease Everybody smelled like shit. You had a shit in the hole in the ground They hadn't even invented toilet paper back then. What do you do? How they even wear you had to be so horny in the 1600s to just power through all of that Big hairy
Bunch of stinks. Oh, I guess you just be like I'm gonna put my chin in your shit cover She's a disgusting smelly hairy pussy dogs don't give a shit what anything smells like and I guess you just get used to stuff Yes, so it's probably hot dude did a stinky pussy was probably hot in the 16th
By 1880 horses in New York City deposited four million pounds of manure on city streets every day and dry weather It would turn to fecal dust and choke pedestrians Uh-huh vacant lots were filled with the ways these manduero piles manure piles would rise up to 60 feet high now It's called statin island 60 feet high dude if you have that all from 60 feet you're dead. Yeah, save me all that shit about
Carbon emissions by the way. We're doing great. This is way better than what it used to be. Oh my god. You're breathing shit air Yeah, by the way, everyone was sick. I'll tell you who's right now nodding their head he goes. Yeah, that's why I'm the guy
I've added that bag that goes behind the horses asses. Isn't it amazing though that the invention of the Internal combustion engine and the adoption of cars by everybody and the abandonment of driving horses literally stop there from being Shit air throughout every city street shit air New York As born in New York
I've been there. It's not it's not much better smelling in Newark. I live there in the the 1990s There's like a bad horrible yeah I don't imagine grandfather to save enough money to get an apartment when I first moved to New York I didn't have enough money for an apartment and my grandfather lived on north ninth street in Newark and he was there from the Blockbusting days so he bought a house there like in the 1940s or 50s and then in the 60s
They came behind they said black people are moving into your neighborhood sell now and it was a regular real estate scam And then they would try to sell the black people and just like get money out of all these houses my grandfather's It was an Italian community my grandfather's like I love black people. I don't give a fuck get out of here This is my house and he he wasn't moving and so all these Brothers old enough also that he's like I was the black person five minutes ago
Exactly. Yeah, when he moved here he came here straight from Italy and he told me it was horrific
Discrete like the term WAP. I was thinking it was funny. If you say around him he would get angry. Yeah, someone called somebody a guinea He would get angry classic WAP behavior He was a peaceful guy, but he would just get like that was a terrible thing that they used to call us when we were kids But you know, that's like that's not how long ago man No, it's really crazy all the like basically across the country even like California
But like all the like areas that you think of as like the hood. It's like Oakland or Compton You know, but the new work or crown heights or any of the those air those were all white areas up until like the 60s And then like a bunch of black people from the South came up and then all the white people left They did there was like a lot of it was like push by these real estate guys And they would like purposely fuck up a neighborhood to make money off of it
And then there was redlining where like they wouldn't sell to black people outside certain lines And like that was a Baltimore issue too Well my grandmother was funny the neighborhood I grew up in like was Jewish and black and then down the next neighborhood I was Italian Everyone started it became predominantly black by the time I moved up to my grandmother Till like two years before she died and was in a nursing home Staying in that house and did not scare the old people at all
It didn't like as it changed around them. It didn't scare there be literally people like On her front step like her neighbors like a bunch like teenagers like wrapping with a loud stereo and she would just be like oh
They're nice. They call me miss like they call me Miss Chinette and so whatever my grandma was delightfully racist She didn't give a fuck my grandma They're mind the only brown person at the table had the most racist my grandma Like openly racist she didn't give a shit My grandmother to this hell the racist the penalty of being a Puerto Rican that's racist is less
No, she was Italian. I'm half Italian Irish. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, and no they would literally I would be at the dinner table and my remember one thing's given my grandma said Because I was getting picked on by white kids in the neighborhood because it was like a white trash neighborhood
And I was only the only brown kid and my grandma was like, you know, it's not his fault that he's the he's an n-word Oh Jesus Christ and she was right She was right Yeah, that's what the original hunting was I just go hug black people in goodwill hunting them It's not your fault. What's not my fault? It's not your fault Have you guys seen that matte wash movie am I racist? I want to watch the trailer today is it what's it?
It's really funny. I heard great things about it. It's it's a top 10 movie in the country right now Yeah, I think it's like what number is it well the first one was crazy dude. It's got no press No press reviews on rotten tomatoes, but customer views is 99 percent which is why yeah like no one will review it Why cuz it's funny?
And he's not being sanctimonious. He's not like talking down to people or preaching to them He's just showing how nutty all these fucking people on these struggle sessions with white people The other one was better. It's better than that because this one's really funny. What is a woman at certain times?
It's like well the trailer says it's a comedy. Yeah, he calls it a comedy. It is a comedy I don't think the other one's like really was pushed is that but he's do he's essentially doing like a right wing version of
One of those like Sasha Baron Cohen type shows. Yep. He's essentially doing that. He's sitting down with these people And he's pretending that he is with them and he wants to know you know how he could do better And I remember number seven number seven in the fucking country with no press man It made two and a half million this weekend. Yeah, nutty that is to have no press and have a show Take off and become a top 10 movie in the country. It's pretty wild and no press reviews at all
This is it's an interesting time man. It's interesting And it is like the thing that's that was real interesting about the first one And I think probably is true about this although I haven't seen it yet Is that even though he's obviously like a real right winger. It's not like that's the movie
Like the movie isn't even making a right wing argument or anything like that. It's just like Shl-letting these crazy left wingers showcase how crazy they are exactly you tell them like it was nuts He just went up to these in the first one that I did say he just went up to these gender experts and just kept asking them What a woman is crazy and they all just collapse into themselves like this is the toughest question
The trans woman he asked outside was the best because we're like well, what is a woman then she is I think I want to go They've made it they've tried to boil it down I think I saw somebody do this the other day to like try to come up with a logical explanation It was something really ridiculous like it's I although recognizing that there are biological differences A woman is anybody who tells you they're a woman
While recognizing by legs. So this is like the loophole while recognizing that Harry probably can't get pregnant He is now harrietta and and that's just it. That's just it. There's no conversation that could be had here And in some countries they're talking about jailing people was it Scotland that had something about
The proposal about literally jailing people for misgendering people. Oh, yeah, I mean, that's like a big discussion Always yeah, but it's but what they were talking about putting people on a fucking cage like I don't say that was The thing that happened in I don't know how many people a guy got sent to jail for misjee
He wouldn't agree to call his like son a daughter or vice versa. I mean how many What actually legitimately it's like 0.001 percent of people are actually Well now it's way higher than that with young people because there's not a real thing It's the guy
There's three steps away from racing my cars and doing donuts and also three steps away from becoming trains Yeah, there's no need for just like moonies I just wanted to I just wanted to finish up a little bit of this ironically if you were Asian you would have been better at both things
Maybe you'd have been a tough sales a check No, dude, I'm a tough First of all, you achieved drag stuff as chicks years ago to make fun of the guys we fucked podcasts We mocked them we did a sketch dressing up as them and I looked fucking good I'm sure you did but there's not a lot of dudes or they're gonna want to climb you You're a big lady man. You're scary. Yeah, if I To say I'm in the sky with jail people for misjendering is false and look at they have the ill-huds picture
Why did you get brought in there? What is the actual truth? What is the actual truth if I became a woman No, I'm fucking it's way down here black dude is misjendering your crime. What does it say? Jay you're gonna move false According to law professor that good according to Adam Tompke Oh one guy Lot trust him misjendering could only be considered a hate crime if it was done in a way that a reasonable person would consider to be threatening or abusive
Wait a minute. That's pretty bad. That that means yes That doesn't mean no that doesn't mean it's false That means you just if that's how you're gonna write it out that a in quotes a reasonable person We consider to be threatening or abusive who the fuck is reasonable How many people do you know that are reasonable?
I can also threaten to be able to decide whether or not you should be jailed Well threatening is a little bit more concrete right abusive abusive is really vague like what do you mean if verbally abusive if you're a hundred pound man and Lewis calls you a man name and you want to be called the woman's name that could be threatening right right that can be threatening I mean I would also would have been threatening the guy to be honest Why are you being a woman?
Yeah, but that's a weird thing misjendering would only be considered a hate crime was done to okay What does this hey below that according to Adam Tompkins a law professor and former conservative MSP Asserting that sex is a biological fact or that it is not changed Just by virtue of the gender by which someone chooses to identify is not and never can be a hate crime under this legislation Okay, so he's saying that like dead naming someone will never be a crime well
No, but see even this is in a kind of a little bit vague way because he's saying asserting that sex is a biological fact So if I just say men and women are women that's not a crime but can calling an individual like could be like no
You're not a woman you're a man could that be considered abusive or whatever I get to be interpretation like what is that you know That's a very good point because this is just step one right That's what it seems like to me right right right So this is not saying no arguing with them to you're a man
It says it's not changed by virtue of the gender by which someone chooses to identify is not and never can be a hate crime but Yeah, that is weird because like Asserting that it's a biological fact Like what if you're arguing what if you're saying you're a man is that harassment now? Fuck you. I'm a woman. You're a fucking man and if you're getting in one of those exchanges. What's that then?
Yeah, I mean like that like if I call somebody an asshole They're not literally an asshole right so like technically isn't it all just sort of like deciding what words have power on what words don't 100% Because if you're not swearing and this person swearing back at you that wants to be called the woman fuck you
You fucking cocksucker. I am a woman and you're like no, you're not you're a dude like you're you're like standing around and That's intuition right that can also be the case what if you don't threaten them But like if you hypothetically like if that if that dude was like I am a woman and I was like if you were a woman I'd slap the shit out of you right now, but you're a man. So I'm afraid you might beat my ass So I didn't actually that's that's a good balance because you're putting yourself in
You know saying you'd I beat your ass. You're saying I'm gonna get fucked up. So I don't know Do you train very what's the best very well for me? It's a be said for feeling how you feel and also just not giving a shit Do you know I'm saying yeah, I feel like I said before I think they should not give hormones or any kind of operations to Children to you know change their gender. I'm saying but I don't but also if they're like they're not making it illegal
They're doing it. I'm like well now I want to see a five-year-old with tips I'm against it. I just want to go they did what they already did so I don't say that let me see Yeah, you know to say that to say what five, but it's a boy's tits That's the thing that's weird. It's like that with the weird the nipple thing is odd right didn't de-errks City didn't they free the nipple we can walk around with you
So can you ever see it? Yeah, once in a while Do you park like really looking forward to seeing? Rarely but once in a while in a park you'll see nice pair of tits in We just just fully top what's the um sprinkle bar and springs so it's top tops are optional there Oh my goodness. I brought my son there dude He was 10 years old and I just saw him staring at this girl's tits and it's all hot chicks
It's all like hot awesome. Of course they're being free. They get a mean Remember James was just fucking keyed in on this girl's tits and I was like, what are you doing? He's like it's natural dad mom says the body's natural so mom says
The fuck is she talking to you about? Yeah, bro Imagine what people like before they had clothes then just just like chimps just fucking every chance they could just The trees and shit imagine before people figured out clothes how wild it was I think we figured them out pretty early on in the game close Yeah, that was a leaf you put over
Yeah, no no, it was millions of years of being sub-dame and hominist what I should what I should say is I think pretty early in the game of being Humans so like whenever they're like they trace like the genetic to like we this is when we consider you like a modern homo sapien
I think it was all climate-based. I think in Africa like I mean how much they probably covered their dicks Well, if you go to like so places in the Amazon are totally buck naked well in Africa They have to cover their dicks otherwise it's dangerous You don't need like a hair bun like they didn't need to stay warm, right? So I think it was only when people started moving
Yeah, you might be right about that. I think it's a migration thing Because we're human life evolved the same area where like a lot of different primates evolved besides us Yeah, human beings got to get up got to Europe and they were all right Let's let's cover our dicks and builds and shit I know in the Bible they says it was like you know God gave us embarrassment at one point or whatever When do we really start getting embarrassing cold? Who is the first guy that was like oh my dick is small
I don't want people to see this. I hope we don't find out or Sebastian's not gonna be talking about Orange you and back. I think as soon as we started moving to places where it was cold And then we don't see people's dicks and pussy's all day long like it kind of changes your behavior and it probably led to us like Saying I listen we need a city and we need a wall Figure out a block all these wild motherfuckers these
Bear dick motherfuckers from coming over the hills. That's probably what happened probably people got started getting really shy But who is a friend covering themselves up with with animal skins to stay warm, but why was it having a small dick? I need to get to the bottom of this What was the problem with having a small dick that everyone was like you need to cover that little dick up?
You know, well, you know the Romans thought that having a big dick was gross The big dick was assigned That's why they like had little dicks on all those giant dudes like the odds of like if you look at some of Michelangelo statues
The odds of those guys not having a massive hog. Yeah, very small. That is a dude built like Francis and Gano All of those kings and all those like important people they literally commissioned them to build them like they were gods And they would build the statues bigger than the statues of gods, right?
And you would think that they would give a big fat Fat dog fucking They all have little tiny dicks because That's just the artist's signature some some person just like the same people that are tricking people into thinking your cat can be non-binary Somebody back then tricked them and thinking the big dicks are bad and there's probably some conniving little dick Yeah, some Jesus mother fucker who's
Triggered out of Asia. He's like oh, so there was a real big dick out of here. Oh look at the hog on that guy though What's that one from oh? My god Don look at his dog and look at all the extra skin. He's got that front of his dawn that guy must be libertarian It looks like a fucking hawks face by the way That's the only one that's uncircumcised of all these Well once they're hard it pops out, you know look at these animals Jesus what is that from my bedroom?
Yeah, that's what I keep my bracelets on but look at that one right there the guy has a tiny dick the one in the Note yeah, right there look at that tiny dick. I'm not ever saying Joe. It's so Everybody yeah, but everybody can't stay fucking bone up for the weather Mother posing for the fucking match. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Joe leave the man alone. It's not a bad dick. I think it's weird
That guy was so hard. No, no, that's normal. That's normal. That's normal. I'm walking around high-hat learn with the job I Go back to the page of hate this you go back to the show I don't care what your excuse is if anybody ever gets a picture you high-heat learn with it go back to that picture With a giant hog the one that you just had with the guy high-heat learn a his hand was upside down Clear your high-heat learn me bro. Is it the one the white one? Yeah, that one right there
Click on that bro. That's high That's not the one that's not the one you had that's that one's freaky or this Looks like more modern this guy's playing music to his dick that last one looked like she was wearing high heels What was the one you just had up Jamie? It is that one right there that one right there to the left of that to the left no no no in the middle in the middle middle second one Up one row to the right. That's it bam Brother that guy's how he'll learn
That's how it started it started like this. I flipped it off It's like how you turn over a punch. Yeah, that was that was he was getting ready to give a fucking strong one Look the guys got a giant heart on he's very excited He's he's not see on the left side and gay on the right side. I was gonna say they really are they make them sort of flamboyant He too Jamie go back to that one and give us a description. What does that mean?
Don Lucas like some kind of a job. Oh, okay, what's his name Greek infertility? Oh, that's right
Let's go let's go champ. He's the only guy with a big dick in any of that art. There's so many different versions of them though Sometimes his dick is reasonable Yeah, you know really big but reasonable different Yeah, it looks like sometimes he just fucked sometimes he's got the shower but like to see how one he looked pretty reasonable Right, it was a reasonable dick was a big dick, but some of them were like hey man come on come on
I mean there's no way I've just gotten to an age now where I just go around the What did you guys I go around the locker room completely naked now for the first time in my life like I think it's funny The men's locker right the men's locker room. Yeah, of course. Yeah, men's women children doesn't matter This is in there, but I think it's so funny to just be naked amongst men
I like it with my little dick is hilarious. It makes them uncomfortable. I don't like it at all and taking a little bouncy dick walk to a shower Nuts my little bird. Yeah, no fuck. I hear about that Canadian guy who was 50 years old who identified as a teenage girl he wanted to do a swim meet with teenage girls and They're letting him step I believe there was like an argument. See if it's true if they let him actually into the locker room I want to make sure that this is true
Like a girl's locker room. Can you imagine you you have a teenager what a dream. It's gonna do a swimming event. Oh This is like a touch to a school 50 year old trans swimmer shared locker room while competing against teens Yeah, it's awesome and this is this is out. This is how crazy Canada's gotten this is just like the moonies
They're just like the juggalos like they're in a cult. They don't realize they're not called But if you think this is a good idea to let a 50 year old guy who decides to identify as a woman Change in a locker room with teenage girls because he identifies as a teenage girl. You're out of your fucking ladies ladies Does it say that this person? I mean, let me be clear that this like this person say they identify as a teenage girl
This was a plan that I would have drummed up and up as 12 years old. I don't think that it was an event that teenage girls could be a 16 and older I think it's a locker. She's going to a woman's locker room in general. Okay 16 and older this person's competing in a 16 and older
You so you could be any age? Yeah, okay, so does is there any evidence this person identifies as a teenage girl or is that just the Internet Google that Justin Chris I Would like to know because that makes it extra crazy and fun It doesn't make it extra crazy and fun that people like okay
It's the same way I feel about all the other things we talked about like the odds of you not being out of your fucking mind are really low They're really low Super low and the fact that everyone's like yeah, inclusivity like Well also how how did we get to this mooney point there's also we you should be allowed to say that some things are weird and crazy And that doesn't necessarily mean you have to hate them or be against them comedians are weird and crazy
I'm like we're all weird and crazy, okay, she this is apparently that means wise heart was swimming with young girls Because of how fast or slow a swimmer is Not because she identifies as a young girl But the competition is presumably separated by gender so is this issue where wise heart is competing against females While being biologically male and also I think intact So which is also the weird one right like you could be a woman
But you don't even have to try that are no you don't have to turn around real quick and hit you with my pussy on your back And you can go back and forth If you choose I'll call you your name if you cut your dick off does anybody if you don't cut your dick off
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna call you or maybe I may be able to call your name, but I might fuck it up But I think that's okay either way he's gonna check Figure out we'll go from there It's just so nuts man that you just given up this pervert pass Like I was because there's real trans people that are like this like it's happened for all eternity There's something wiring you feel female, but there's also crazy people. There's also real perverts
And you give it a pervert a willy-wanker golden ticket. I've gotten real good. I've got a real good at calling people The gender they want if they like I still will fuck it up But I find I'm pretty good at it if they look like a girl if it's a guy transitioning to a girl and they look at a girl I say
Shem pretty good at all this she but if I almost if I fuck it up look at yourself. That means that you you're not shaving enough for you Having them whenever it is to make me call you because I'm pretty good at calling damn jazz trans girls girls
But it's also a weird thing to get stuck on because you're just you have to agree to this thing And you have to agree to it this that especially like if you knew the person has one thing at one point in time And then they decided to change their name and gender and you're like
You seem like you need a lot of attention like what's going on here? This is strange Yeah, and you're getting mad if I fuck it up and call you Harry Well, that's the we are just part of all of it is like you can't like be mad at somewhere, especially if it's a State So I'm saying the internet is such a bad place for it because it get everyone has such balls Everyone's a keyboard warrior on the internet even people that are like, you know, you know
Bleeding heart liberals and people that are looking to you know, you know, they just they find a place to go and have this voice back in the day If you were trans and you were like a man that was dressing up as a woman and you wanted to get mad at somebody about it You had to get in their fucking face. It wasn't gonna happen And if you went to the village in New York City, they did they did get in your face
You get impressive back then. Yeah, I'm the West Village by a trans chick. Well, what's the war? That's why I loved that was the game stop video right Yeah, the famous one right where like it's maam. Yeah, I'm calling me sir It's not how maam talk Game stop and they're just going like Okay, sir Just like kick it over place That's the problem that women are having is that these men who decided that their women are now in vent
They're entering these places that are just women's only and women's events and women's things and they're dominating like men do It was one of the very guys is one of the very few points that I've had with seeing that other side of it that I didn't for a long time So kind of recently is like the the argument sports is almost like oh, they're gonna dominate and kick ass and you know It's basically a guy beating up a girl in this fight and all those things
But then I was there's the scholarship thing on the wise that never dawned on me before it's like no these girls are like No, I was gonna be like the number one recruit at a my school For sure and then this girl came in and made my me look like I'm terrible because she's six foot five and you know
35 pounds more than me. Yeah, it's nuts. You're letting people cheat You're literally there's a reason why title nine was invented it was invented so that women could be able to compete with other women And you can't have an exemption for that just based on feelings because it's not about feelings It's about fairness and sports and the only way to make it fair is if you're an intact biological male
You have to compete against intact biological males. Yeah, it's just you could still call yourself Debbie Get an aisle four Debbie. You're in lane four your competing against Mark and Steve Is there no we're not children here? Rational sect of the trans community. I don't know if I've ever heard Some of the trans community come out and agree with that said him is like oh, yes Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a bunch there's a bunch of people who are trans who are like
Basically come out and say like look. I know I'm not a woman. I know I'm a man And yeah, we shouldn't be we shouldn't be around kids. We shouldn't be competing in women's sports. There's there's a decent We should be around kids at all. Blair white goes to these these events were like trans people
I mean she gets like called a Nazi and kicked out. Yep I think she's gone through the whole thing That's the it's like one day they're gonna be able to manipulate chromosomes where you're not gonna ever have to worry about that again They're gonna be able to change you to a woman. They're gonna actually be able to do it I don't know if they're gonna be able to do it to us, but some somebody's lifetime from the in the future Just gonna be better like what do you know people like serial divorces?
They get married and divorced. It's gonna be people to go back and forth man The woman band a woman they're just gonna be pigs. They're just gonna be dirty greedy pigs They just want to fuck and get fucked and just Selflast week is the horror or like a womanizer goes I was a bit of a woman in my 20s And then I did my 30s as a guy. Yeah, some women are gonna be looking for men who've only been men the whole time
I want you to get fuck it. Really was you get teenagers that like they change and then a few years later They were like oh, yeah, it was a phase of course Especially these poor girls that are getting mastectomy no, it's my car. It's got wheels. It's making a choice of golf at one point Yeah, I want her tattooed and you're on and when you were 16 the crazy thing is you don't let them get tattooed
But you will let them get gender alternating surgery, which is just bananas Gender affirming excuse me gender affirming surgery not a lot not a lot of surgeries under 18 there is a lot And when I say I think there's thousands of like the chemical shit like the There's plenty of girls that are getting mastectomy's very young. There's photographs of them If you're doing that before you're an adult, you don't know what the fuck you're doing. It's insane. It's insane
It's insane. It's just not the people are agreeing to it just to be kind look There's also a real debate with surgeries like that about whether that should be allowed even after you're an adult and like I'm not I'm not even gonna allow But I'm still be able to get fake tits if he wants to Yeah, but listen Out of that though. Yeah, he got out of that. He's not doing it. Yeah, even too much for a steal. I think he thought it was dangerous
Yeah, it was retarded. Well, you also have to cut the muscle on a dude. I think it all I'm saying is there's yeah That's tough if to go up in there. It's got a pump out I don't think I think the evil made the right call. I think it would have been a great bit But I think that's the only way it would have stuck out because you know, I don't think he has enough tissue in the front to give you like a traditional
Regular type boob job. All right. I'll do it Yes, but my point is like next man up if you're a grown woman and you're 40 years old You just decided to get your boobs removed who the fuck am I to say you shouldn't be able to do that? No, listen, I kind of I look I'm a libertarian. I tend to agree with you But if there's if there was a doctor and you ask them to just like Remove my fully functioning left arm because I identify as a right one armed person or whatever and doctors
We're like no, I'm not I'm unwilling to like perform a surgery on you So many elective surgeries that they do Preventive surgery that a lot of women do if they think they have that gene for breast cancer That's a little different Okay, Steve was supposed to Level up said but the person in the supermarket spoke to Steve Oh about the level of oppression that the trans people face in a pretty heartbreaking way
Which made him realize wow maybe it's on all-funny games after this and fear to stunt would seem like an exercise and celebrating violence against trans people And he decided to call it off. Oh, so that's why he called it off. I thought it was just this is insane I'll tell you what I have a feeling he was like I don't want to do this But then you can really get out of it by doing making a nice speech like that's pretty great
That would be a good move because otherwise you're gonna ruin your tits forever And then you'd have to get will under another time to get them removed and then you'd always have scars on your your tits and your 50 Some of your afraid the fights is gonna fight you after school and you go It just what that when we break the cycle of violence
You're gonna dress up and go to a bike or rally. I guess that was part of it Oh You thought it would get a crazy reaction out of a motorcycle riders who are checking me out before realizing who I who he was I would have considered to be better footage if I was to be beaten up at the motorcycle rally You know what but the thing is like you could get fake tits put on you by prosthetic people the same people that did like the penguin Have you see what's his name?
That's a carol carol Handsome fella right they made him look disgusting for the penguin like they can give you tits bro You don't have to get them. Yeah, it'll look indistinguishable. Yeah, and it's the same fucking stunt Marryle Manson, but though that's a painting isn't it? That was the person out, but it's also Is that something anywhere? Well look no cock either? Do you know there's people that are doing that?
They're just getting castrated because people want to be no's they want to be nothing is that a real thing? Oh, yeah, it's a real thing. Please. That's actually what someone gets the surgery is doing well They were trying to get a hole. Yeah, they want to see this is just like they become like a
Unsolid from the other exactly they want no no cock no balls. No nothing. IP. Let's let's go champ You know what the cave with little holes piss out a little piss hole It's perhaps keep a little fucking bandit over it for the most I don't know I just put in it, but you know I don't want you to do that, but if you're you're an American
I feel like you should have the freedom to do something stupid. Yeah, I'm covered in tattoos You want to get your dick chopped off with the fucking might of hell You're never gonna hear a thing where someone goes you cut your dick obvious best thing I ever did Probably not but some people just don't well There's that like panel that big thing back of the day where the guys would mutilate their cocks and you're like what do you I mean You only got one shot to slice your dick
I saw plenty of those videos regards just chop the head of their dick so for the knives like it's insane It's like you get I mean you how good is that orgasm you get it one time? I don't even think they're orgasm and they're soft. They're not slicing to a hard dick. They bleed out How good is that? Right? Who just fucking? All right Joe So I'm gonna say some conversation we're having you imagine what a terrible time to get your dick chopped off how good is the joke?
I predict they have sex and then they're yeah, we're at a down. Hey Roni's disease Fusiasm young lady might get a little bobbily on the top then let it slip a little and a taint slam. Yeah How can they not tell like Anderson Silva's shin? How can these ladies not tell that they're at the end of the dick when they're jumping up so
They're having a good time Jay. They're having a good time But you know we're walking I know I know we're on the tightrope we're walking that tight rope Like the the come-ups are coming up too high on her I Had it happen a few times we're a bet but I mean obviously nothing no real injury might have been with that high-hit or dude before A little bit of travel in her Like now we got that She wants that raptor type travel boom She wants some fucking some lift
You should have that thing like on the back of your car where it's like Just have some sort of a strapping system, you know, where you like like you're spotting her like sent her down Okay, we got this much travel. That's it. Don't get crazy. So if we're gonna agree to do this you savage Trying to break my dick. I wish my what a terrible way to break your dick too. I wish my dick was big enough to break
This is right now. Go I could break it. I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it. I'll break it in half Break that fucking name real little guys, but we have a log. Can I talk to you about my new propulsion system? Jamie the powerpoint, please in the police Oh It is so funny coming into this room and thinking all the things I've watched it or made such like Would it be the cat William thing or fucking I mean that was wild the Don't I just said a
Terrence Howard oh the Terrence Howard one's very interesting. He's a very very smart guy He just doesn't have a formal education and stuff So like when I had a Brett Weinstein on the excuse me Eric Weinstein on the podcast Eric sort of explained to him
The things that he's getting wrong and explained to him you got to stop teaching you have to start saying you're teaching People this is a very offensive to people like myself is like an actual super genius I mean, but they were talking about like Crazy equations and he was explaining the equations to him and he's like do you understand how to read this? It's like having them go over the equations. So it was very interesting
So Terrence is like this super smart guy. It's way smarter than anybody around him But then the really super smart guys are actually super smart guys are educated about it They don't engage with them. And so Eric was like let me just talk to this dude
I think he's one of us. He's just gone astray Just a brilliant guy who hasn't actually gotten the correct education Well, I like when he was doing I he goes well then Joe you have to understand because the The Fantageles that was like words that I don't think what they were things maybe they were I think some of them were things But others they're things that he invented like He knew whatever you want. Yeah, what is the the the invention of the flying What does he call them again?
When all those little components moved together and it creates like he's got this God, what's at the tip my tongue? Lynchpin so this thing that he created it's like these They're like geometric Shapes and they fit into each other and each one of them has a fan in the circle of it and through this thing as a drone It can move like in any direction. It's is very bizarre and
Weinstein was looking at it like this is a very legit invention. Well, you came up with this crazy Like see see if you find the videos of it and so it's it's also You could add more to it. It's not like a one single shape So they connect into each other and you can keep adding more and more to it and give it more power and more What's the utility for it? It's drones
It's like you could you could have a drone that moves concrete bars. I mean concrete blocks You could you could have a drone that moves Rero ties and they could fly him through the air it's scalable So this is the small version of it in operation and it's all all those things that you see those little geometric patterns There are individuals individuals and you can keep piling them on top of that and connect it
And you can make them larger and smaller. It's a it's a fascinating idea and this is the dude who's an iron man Just like
And he's got like some crazy amount of patents man the dude has like what is it 90 something patents? He has something crazy But this is all like his invention a no formal education very not to the level of like an Eric Weinstein which is really all these people that are actually working on stuff the generally they have You know depending on what the discipline is they have a long education in traditional Universities and he's kind of like a self-taught genius Neh
No, he's just he's crazy smart. He's just He's just not like he's got to hang out with more people like him
You know, I mean it's too smart for anybody. He knows this was right. This is what he needs more Eric one So they said Dave Smith a few years ago Well, I was on the episode after the first time you had him on and the episode with him was just insane I was like the biggest thing on the internet and Almost 100% of the comments on my episode the next one were we want more Terrence Howard I did it doesn't go to the right address, but I did invent an Uber
Yeah, it's um, it's fun. Those things are fun. Yeah, it's fun to hear people like come up with these wacky theories and Like his but he has some great ideas man and one of them is the idea that all the planets are coming from like stuff That's jettisoned off the Sun
Like his theory about the creation of solar systems is very bizarre and it's really interesting He thinks that a planet gets to a certain distance after a certain amount of time from the Sun where it can develop life And then that life Evolves as quickly as it can because it's gonna eventually over the next
Hundred million two hundred million years. It's gonna be further and further and further out the space And it's not gonna be habitable anymore So you're gonna have to figure out a way to make your own environment or you're gonna perish and every planet goes through a Transitionary period
It's called peopleing when a planet gets to a certain distance these hominids start figuring out things and figuring out tools and engines and Civilization and agriculture and then electronics and then they have to get to a point when they realize like This planet keeps moving away from this hunt. We are fucked. We have to figure out artificial environments We have to figure out interstellar travel. We have to figure out how to fucking planet
Populate other worlds. So that's where we're at right now. We're we're like a hundred thousand years away from it being a problem This is brought to us by Terrod's fucking But his theory about planets is fascinating because nobody really knows why planets are formed
How the you know there's a distance from the Sun you can figure there's a thing called boats law We can figure out roughly by the size of one planet when the another planet is gonna exist And that's where they look his voice is too cool to be in there
That's why I think the problem the disconnect I have is he's a come on Joe. It's simple Too cool to hand on nitrogen makes everything Well, he does that thing where especially because most of us aren't people who even think about this stuff So then when he's saying it like when he was saying the whole thing when he was on with you about how the periodic table
Shouldn't be squares. It should be circle and he had like a really good argument for and I remember just being like That does sound really impressive Why I said this with them? Well, that's what the thing is then like when you see someone like Eric Weinstein
Girl like oh, yeah, he's got a good point about this. You're like wait seriously? Yeah, he's nailing it all right Terrod's Howard is fucking genius He's just sometimes guys are too smart for everybody around them and they just get off on the wrong track Yeah, and if you're used to being the smartest guy in the room and then all of a sudden you're talking to a guy
It's like spooky smart. It's you know, it's a little unsettling. It's like, you know a guy who tells you he's a comic You know he's telling everybody's a comic hey Mike is a comic Mike who works down the and then you meet Mike and you like How long have you been doing comedy? Well, I've done a couple of mic nights. I'm like oh, okay, okay You're not really a comic right? You're not making a living like you're not actually not getting paid
Well, I don't have any money for Terrod's Howard in his projects. I gave it all to Eddie Winslow from Family matters to clean up the ocean machine. He's building There's a kid that's cleaning up the ocean What's has a kid saying boy and slot you ever seen that machine? He's his name is buoyant So on the news is there's waverunner judgment. I never thought of that. He said it. That's hilarious. I've even had him on the show
Boy and slot. He was like 19 when he invented this He invented this gigantic skimmer that's been scooping stop off the ocean and then they turned the plastic into like sunglasses and shit Which will eventually find their way back in the ocean That's out for a little bit. They make they make stuff which is fine There's 19 that that's really great. You're 19 super fucking smart like spooky smart kid
Just said this one. I want to dedicate my life to see if you get a video of how they do it. It's pretty wild But they've already cleaned up a significant amount and they they have this Proposal to make and scale the thing up and make it huge and they think they can clean up the whole garbage patch The next decade or so it's incredible. It's not but it's not that the fucking thing existed in plastics
Only a bit around for like how long a hundred years. Yeah, and we already have a Texas size chunk of it sitting in the middle of the Fucking ocean Yeah, people are great the people I know people also make things that young and get this kind of thing I think they're late later in life lash out as what ends up being crazy Oh, yeah, it's gonna be all the game up all their fun stuff so then it gets this two wild afterwards Right, he's gonna get all that eco pussy, too
Yeah, you know what you shave those bitches down. There's usually something hot over there It's usually the kind of gals that are willing to throw paint on Glue themselves to the floor, you know no more oil So this just all sitting in the ocean. Yeah, so he scoops all this stuff out with each Run of this and this is just you know one haul and they just continue to do this and then they crane it and pack it and Turn it into a different
Objects and stuff and you could buy that stuff. That's fine. It's a good thing I mean He becomes like a co-kid Partier a little bit later or he's something you know he dies like a whale at him like while he was helping Clean up the thing. I was watching this thing on Singapore and how well Singapore recycles is Incredible Singapore takes all of their garbage. They pick it up like multiple times They have this insane facility where they sort it out they find out what's plastic?
What's this what's that they they use the plastic and they figure out some way to use it to To make power to generate power by burning it and they have this insane filtration system that stops it from Polluting the air and then they take it and they grind a lot of this stuff down and they use it to make roads with it And they recycle everything is it that isn't our recycling bullshit?
I remember reading about this years ago that our recycling is all the Every time I put stuff into my recycling it makes me so angry because I read like 10% of it gets actually recycled Yeah, we thought we were good people. We're just getting scammed He's getting scammed to buy a fucking blue dumpster What is the point of it though? What is the whole scam? I don't understand why It's too expensive to convert like Singapore
Rich guy sitting on a bunch of blue garbage cans. See if you can find something on how Singapore does it I know I saved it if you want me to find it. You're saying they do a good job incredible They fucking recycle everything they have like this insanely efficient way of Taking the plastic and reutilizing it and using it to like fill streets and pave roads and build things and they're using all of it
Whereas we're just fucking stick it in the ground. Yeah, somebody else will cover it up with dirt Singapore looks like it's made of Legos It's just plastic everywhere. It's pretty nuts man. No, it's pretty. They also pollution with that plane Yeah, that's right Yeah human beings are fucking weird. We are weird. Do you remember how much you used the litter back in the day and the 90s?
Dude, I would fucking anytime I have like a Coca-Cola cup. I just throw it right up the window. I'm gonna give a shit So this is go back to trash on the highway side So it used to be a big problem So they used to have a big trash problem apparently and that's what led them to this insane Like super efficient version of recycling and super thorough Pretty interesting shit waste generated. Oh, we're we're making a lot of ways. Yeah, we make plenty of waste
Sun that's what America does motherfucker. You know like you can move to China. Yeah, we must think about
We're gonna make the world shit. Yeah, so they take it and they burn it and that burning it is what powers electricity It's like it's really insanely efficient and then again They they use it for all kinds of stuff, but the point is they utilize all the trash and that's what we're supposed to be doing But there's a bunch of knuckleheads the same knuckleheads that are in charge of the homeless and the homelessness
Just keeps growing and they need more we need more funds to deal with this issue that we can't deal with It's the same fucking thing if we if you had private companies that were incentivized to collect all the plastic and
And that they could take that plastic and use it for all kinds of things and that's right. Yeah, all you got to do is set up the incentives and Human beings figured out all you got to do is go if you solve this problem You can become a billionaire and then some genius will figure it out to become a billion is that interesting We're not willing to give the private sector access to garbage so much So much that will let them pretend they're recycling and
Just to stick stuff in the ground it's because it's not cost effective to turn it into things Because sanitation be one of the last Mafia run businesses Well, it's run by a section of the government, right? But it's like if you were competing against Singapore you would lose Okay, if like one city was run by Singapore like Chicago was run by Singapore But Detroit was run by people who do it right now and you had to figure out what which way is better for the city
Which way looks better which way is more efficient which way actually like creates less overall ways because you just recycle it and reuse it And it actually works as an asset and a commodity would that be better like if someone you could do it You could do it with the problem is there's no fucking incentive. There's probably so much infrastructure within all of these like It's just been how many years that we've been having this system of
Sanitation that it's like to try to change that and any sort of like abrupt way is like insane. What do you even do? I remember there was a landfill in their house We would go like we would like ride our bikes down to the train tracks and find the landfill and it was just piles and piles and piles of garbage It's basically the modern version and what it was like to live in a city with horses shit in the streets
Yeah, it's a mild version of it Which wasn't like much thought put into like the down the road times now just was weird Not only that it gets into the water You know when you just dump a bunch of shit on the ground like that, you know, you're allowed to have a place We just fill it in what what what about the water that's running under that like what happens there liquid death?
Yeah So it's any metal water Come with death water Yeah, there's like so much fucked up and how we do things and and not course correcting But I mean is it so with the recycling thing is it just designed to find us for not recycling? It's create more revenue streams I think initially they have this idea that that's what they were gonna do that They were gonna recycle things and they do recycle bottles and they do recycle cans because it's cost effective
The problem with plastic. It's not cost effective to recycle so I'm 90% of it or something in the range of that It's thrown in the ground. They just put it in the dirt Which is fucking worse like why you making me separate
Garbage if you just get it. Can I just put plastic? We just admit and I'll just put plastic bottles in the garbage town because that's what I've been doing I kind of gave up I gave up on your little bullshit charade I'm not gonna be a part of this if I know you're not doing it Well, there is I see like there's like a rule follow for a lot of people
It's so funny. I just kind of see the results, but I don't know what the actual fight is like Sometimes in New York there's plastic bags everywhere and then one time I tell you goes no, they're completely illegal now Plastic and then oh yeah, there is plastic bags. It's like a jelly trees in New York Well during the pandemic they kind of because it was they made that law maybe six months before the pandemic and they were like no more plastic bags
Only paper and then we're gonna make it and they were like all right We need to figure out priorities here and then they started using plastic bags again But in New Jersey you have to when I go to shop right I have to pay for new reusable bags every time they no longer give even paper No, I got a lot of those I'm never gonna recycle They're good for lighten fires the paper ones Want to start a little fire?
Crumple up some paper bags sticking under there It is like at the airport they'll do that with the big paper bags and they charge you for the paper bags It's like like bags were always free. Do you know existed for 30 years on this planet of bags I think it just makes you think about it like every time Well one out of every hundred people remember to bring their own shopping bags What's that a fucking nerd?
Paper bags are good man, but the kill trees. I said the my girlfriend reminds to the store when she's been like oh, let's go I don't well wait. I'm gonna run back to the apartment I forgot to get the the bags we're gonna buy new but I'm not You know what the biggest scam going is the paper bag industry because they should all be hemp paper bags If they were all hemp paper bags they would be a hundred times better
They'd be so much stronger you wouldn't have to chop down a tree to do it You chop down a stalk of a plant that doesn't even make weed You know they they have them where they don't there's no THC in them at all and you make gigantic fucking
chunks of this paper that's almost indestructible. It's so different you can barely tear it. Is it cheaper? No Sure would be cheaper if you had the infrastructure because you could read you like you see if you have an acre of trees and you chop them down It's gonna be fucking years before you can chop down the new ones that you plant afterwards It takes forever for them to grow but hemp you can redo it every fucking few months
Yeah, the grows like a weed wasn't a big part of a why like weed was made illegal because they didn't want the competition from hemp or something like that 100% it was William Randolph first right he was the Reef from Madness guy along with Harry Anselinger They demonize it as a commodity if we if we had like true freedom in terms of like to use the best plants to do stuff That would be one of the number one forget about the weed argument the number one thing is hemp
It's so much better paper. It's all it's like it's really strong like in a weird way Like if you have a piece of hemp maybe like what the fuck man? But hemp legal now right everywhere just a paper it's it's been suppressed for so fucking long that the Infrastructure is not really available to compete with like regular paper or to compete with I mean they're making hemp clothes It's sort of an oddity that was like a happy thing like if you could find like even What do you have?
Real big on hemp for a long time. It's way better with there's a company called Datsu Sara they make hemp geese They're the best geese man. They don't rip cotton geese rip they rip all these hemp geese are like Indestructible the one thing that gives out on them is the threads give out I feel like you don't want to get caught in a hemp ge joke that much rather just like a regular Geese that a hemp key they do and I forgot to tell you the only keys that rip are old ones man
Yeah regular gear you'll fuck you up. I read a thing about a spider silk earlier today as we're talking about like Materials, apparently spider silk is like one of the most strong like if they actually they make yeah They make actual clothing and like garments out of it and it's like I believe that because you get caught in one of one string of it And it's like on you for five minutes
His thick is like a power line. It's one of fifth as thick as a human hair or one tenth as thick as a human hair and they they there was the Team of guys who spent five years like I get my milking spiders, but they were like using They were getting the silk out of these spiders and they made this like big Fucking gown with it. It was I don't know one. Well, you know, there's a thing they're trying to do Okay, they're saying the human side silk is used to make bulletproof clothing
There's a thing they're trying to do now though. We're they're trying to make human skin and You know how they can kind of splice genetics together They want to make human skin that is made with this gene for this spider silk So they just see if you can find that so with the whether Try to you end up in a superhero movie Literally develop a lot of blood This right now it's theoretical, but if you think about what they're gonna be able to do medically just in the next decade or two
Especially with the AI stuff that's coming off. That's a scary shit. It's a scary shit As soon as they start integrating humans with that stuff, they're gonna come up with all sorts of solutions to all sorts of problems And one of them is gonna be non-bullet proof skin Like it's stopping crime We're gonna just like make everybody mandatory just so you get vaccinated Everybody's gonna have to get bulletproof skin so we don't have to worry about gun violence anymore
It doesn't work anymore. We're just shooting each other in the head We're gonna evolve technology. We can afford We're gonna all look like turtles We're already like Joe ninja turtles in the future. We're all gonna be like covered with armor And it'll be just wild kingdom out there on the streets every day is a fucking street takeover fill it off Yeah, fill it up your street takeover Maybe that's how we get out of this you know like humans had to figure out a
Possible thumbs to be able to throw spears maybe we maybe at one point in time. We have to just grow armor We're not gonna fix this problem of violence or would be pretty badass Yeah, just have you especially if you're the first human with it like if you get to be the way Do you want to get armor? How the fuck did a turtle become a turtle? How long did that take and what the fuck was a rat?
Fun him in the sewers Let's see I won him at a carnival Well think all the animals that are so vulnerable and this one mother fucker goes I got an idea and somehow or another over the course of who knows only fucking million years It becomes a goddamn turtle and it's such a good design There's change in the videos of like alligators and crocodiles just can smash in through turtles Just like like a cooking salt water Crocs crushing them up like there nothing really. Yeah, so disgusting
It's brutal. Yeah, see if you can find a video that I've tried to the bullproof skin was a story from 2012 Yeah, it was a project with an artist. I don't know that they were actually we're trying to do that That's a fucking CIA cover I Think they cover Jason board with bulletproof skin first and they're gonna say Jesus Christ. That's Jason born bulletproof skin
It's grace for this project. Oh, Gingas calm wanted it of course he wanted it this Legitary Emperor said to have issued his horseman with silk vests as an arrow hitting silk does not break it But ends up embedded in the flesh wrapped in silk interesting wow So the silk was so strong that the arrows would just go into your skin through this and you wouldn't get hit It's like a Kevlar so you would you'd still get fucked up, but you wouldn't get full penetration. It wouldn't penetrate Wow silk
That's crazy. I'm about you a silk shirt and shoot you with an arrow Those arrows sucked Those broad head sucked yeah Joe Rogan could fucking shoot somebody with a silk shirt on you could not do that today Yeah, there's a different I don't know what kind of silk they had but a modern day broad head those things are horrifying Well, I don't understand it, but it can't just be like a silk t-shirt They had to have some type of thick silk even for arrows back then
Yeah, it must have been really thick because they were powerful bows too, especially the Mongols the Mongols had these insane bows It took like 160 pounds to draw back and they were famous for like when they looked at their skeletons their their bones
The one side of their body was like deformed because they were pulling like with the right arm their whole life They're whole spine and everything is can they have like giant bones and their shoulders and arms like their whole body Developed to pull this fucking insane bow back So that kind of a bow has crazy power behind it with this bullshit homemade arrow and these fucking whatever kind of heads They were using that suck to put all that effort into pulling the bow and then silk takes it out
That for nothing I got beat by silk. I wonder if it would work with their bows I wonder if that was just for the enemies bows because the Mongols were They were so advanced militarily which is really bizarre that this like one dude's group who likes to live intense Decide to literally take over the fucking world and would have done it got pretty close. Yeah, they killed 10% of the people on the fucking planet during his lifetime
All people like that always have weird facial hair. There is however little historical basis to this What is the silk shirt claim? Oh Jamie you stop making us look like that's holes at every chance pretty Everything it tells me I was wrong from front to back. There is however little historical basis no primary source could be found Containing the statement the earliest mention of it in relation to the Mongols comes from Michael Proudins 1934 Dishingus Khan their storm house ice and Proudin
Did I get that right eager to give Mongols every technical logical edge over their foes appears to have assumed the Mongols as a warrior race Would only have worn silk for military purposes, and but was there any Historical depictions of silk stopping arrows see if you can find that
When I was maybe the Mongols didn't do it. Maybe it was like a theory The AI from Google says that they were so underclosed to help prevent blood loss from arrows and that they had armor that was Sown together with silk, but there was no sort of plates That makes my soul so it's like under the armor being kissed by God just like the the samurai outfits Well, they have this place right right they have the mesh under the plates so they can move around
We have one of those samurai outfits out there. It's a real one from the 1800s really freaky freaky to think these Joe I don't use this time machine to go get it Took a long time on it actually got for me as a gift Tick so you have to it's like a pain the ass to get it over here. I'd imagine that's a tough thing to buy
Yeah, it's a weird thing using it. We talk about doing so they do these like medieval fights like it's almost like MMA and like medieval gear Yeah, we talked about doing it at skankfest, but to ship the armor To Vegas from wherever they were it would be so expensive we'd have to it would be it would make more sense to drive it out in a van Just like the team of people you've seen those Russian videos with those guys beat the fuck out of each other Yeah, yeah, don't do that
I can't believe I have to tell you don't do that You know, I'm right dude. Yeah, and I got a sword bro. You're gonna get hit in this head with a sword You're gonna forget all your jokes. No, it's all right Swordways no, I got him. I got him a spider silk hat Even if you have that home and on imagine how much I fucking sword ways and it's hit you in the air The armor is like 120 pounds 130 pounds How much would you need around your head to let someone hit you in the head with a sword?
I need a lot more than that. Yeah more than that a lot more than that. That would be fun though Bro, you get it to shield to the head You're getting CT mother fucking E you can pretend that you're protected you are not protected from that
We're gonna do it. You still remember your jokes the dance and that guy's helmet Where he's got hit in the head with a fucking sword and one medieval that's a shit fucking rules and they're doing it live for what I would describe Is not that many people yeah for 45 people I know but if I went to this I would go home and I go I can't believe there's only 45 people This is cool. Do you have a giant turkey leg get a giant goblet?
Everything we're in this fair. They got the dark game where you can win the animal On top of it Meeting with this she is a weapon. He's meeting with his weapon That night insane that night had really good top control Bro, that guy got a real fuck up that are you okay? Yeah? That kind of weight dropping down on your head with that big ass fucking shield and look this virgin
He's gonna take his helmet off. Oh, hi guys. Thank you everybody You also have to take into account you're performing for you You got to take into account the weight of all that armor on his arm and how much more that's driving down the Coming down. Yeah, all that weight because it's all covered in steel and then he has his big ass fucking shield And it's still gloves on and he's coming down on your head with that over and over and over again
That's a different MMA. Yeah, yeah, man that guy got my got a real fucked up like a different kind of like a crack skull type Fucked up. We fed him to a dragon afterwards. I mean that could That seems like that could kill somebody like that that doesn't seem like even with armor on I don't believe that you can be okay from getting hit like that in the head Well also all the shit from like from the NFL is like
Like the helmet doesn't really matter because if you're when it's cracking against your head and you're rattling around How good that helmet be where you were let it dude with a shield and an iron fucking sleeve on slam down on your head over and over and over again That could crack your skull Well, that's there's no way that's I would do that over power slap any day of the week. Oh Yeah, oh my god look at these guys have fucking
Oh, man, this one this is what I want to do. I was so insane. This is so fucking insane. Let's me in you fight It's gonna be spears. Let's go Here's the bathroom don't do this you too, and I do want to watch a full paper view of this now
That's a great. That's rule. Here's the thing if you allow these guys to have no armor dudes sign up if you decided You're gonna have a full sword fight version of this with no armor guys would show up With fucking bikini on right here slice you up if we decided one day if some crazy country some fucking warlord dictator type dude Decided to have actual sword fights with no armor on dudes would do it There's there's enough psychotic men out there
Back in the day there was we used to watch felony fights dude Oh, yeah, and those guys would have they would give the two guys nunchucks if I just beat the shed out of each other on a parking lot and just two fucking Mexican guys
Well, and on each other I remember to smack how many people fuck this white dude up and he was a good boxer And he cracked him and knocked him out and then when he got on the ground He kept dropping knees on his unconscious Seizing up and shit I was just in that Howard's turn you know They was an old one where they were talking the people that were good old days the Pia the people that were trying to get on Like that the one-way trip to Mars they were gonna try to do it was for years like 2012
And they said it wasn't gonna go until 2020 some which I don't think it ever ended up happening but like Like there was they said it was thousands of people We're trying to get on that mission one way trip to die in Mars. Yeah, thousands. Oh, yeah That I said it was it had to be whittled down by the way being whittled down to like 16 people so it was not a lot of people but they was like oh, yeah, you had to go through and it's like
How many doctors and all that's pretty crazy like how much people willing to do some shes nutty people broke There's a lot of people out there that want to end it basically They want to be null they said for sure you they said without for sure But they said odds are you definitely will never make it to Mars And if you get there, it'll it's like it's everything just kind of like you're probably gonna die in root. It takes
You're always gonna have people that want to sign up for that kind of stuff. Yeah Whatever the thing is there's like remember back in the day
It was a big thing in New York in the 90s. There were bug jacers. It was like a sect of the gay community that was trying to get aids Oh, yeah, yeah absolutely There's a there's a great series on Netflix right now called the terror and it's about these guys that try to cross the ice paths And like the 1800s and they never they never make it spill spoiler alert It gets fucking dark. Yeah, it's dark. These just got stranded on a boat with other guys
And of course we start eating each other the real story. It's based on a real story These these gentlemen actually did do this and they didn't find their body They didn't find anything until like years and years later they went and they found clear evidence of like people getting cut up What was the time period 1800s? They just thought they were slick and they're gonna make it across and it was a particularly cold winter and the the ice
Never thought in that area and they just get stuck there. They just got stuck in the ice Developed all around them and they were there for years. I mean that like that's like a thing of survival Which I understand but you see people that go to like what's the big concert? Who's new snacks Let's see out what's the mountain?
They're like the tallest one the hardest one ever Yeah, you see those videos of like the bodies that are like the bodies are now markers Like you get to a certain the name of guy like Jim it's like that's Jim He's when you're at however many feet high. Yeah, and there's no way to get their bodies back down So they just you have to leave them you have to leave them there no one no one can retrieve them and
Stay alive. It's too dangerous. That's wild. It's fucking nuts man You can find like the one of the first guys that ever died up there They're like his it's all white. It looks like a statue and he's face down face down on the rock frozen and they don't touch the See if you can find the image the images. I mean somebody must haunting because In one person who can climb it who can like no no them say that one person that can climb it
They can let that's done like something shitty to the stuff up there. Yeah You know when you were kids you take like the reindeer on people's lawns and put them in different Yes, look at this these guys this guy's dead But there's one we that one in the lower left-hand corner Jamie Where that thing got that one. That's the one look at that Wow, bro imagine walking past that and go. Yeah, that guy's a pussy
With a fucking Chicago bulls hat on sweetly frozen. Yeah, he's frozen. He's dead forever He's been dead for a long time look that guy's got old ass clothes on that have been just slowly worn away by time Yeah, it's amazing because it's right your picture from the 70s, but this what happens like people die like you'll be in a group And somebody dies and go well guys we have to leave him and you're like you're like what?
You have to leave them while they're dying. Yeah, you could die. Yeah, like you can't help them you have to just go And they're just gonna die a slow death look at these guys got trapped I can't believe people agree to like do like that sentences, but like a then just something like this Submersible thing that was just like everyone was like cheers and champagne like this the best and then just ends immediately
Oh, they saved that guy look who got trapped. Oh my god. Imagine getting trapped like that and that's it You just slowly die wishing wishing you could just get shot in the head and not have to slowly die
That's so insane. It's all so insane and it's just to get to the top to say you got there I mean is it how exhilarating it has to be so I bet it's not that great Well, it's probably you realize you could do something very difficult which a lot of people have a desire to do and it's also Bragging right for a lot of dickheads A lot of dickheads I want to tell you I've been in Nepal I went up to Everest a really helped the community And there's a lot of people they just do it for street
We're gonna go to guitar song up there. It's pretty gay Some people they just want to fucking challenge themselves though in some insane way where they might die I think it's when you don't have kids the all any of those things like skydiving all I never I was one of the skydive
And I'm terrified of heights, but as soon as I had a kid I was like I'm not the same I'm the same Yeah, unnecessary risk and I said now is my daughter's older to like having that thing where it's like now she'd have to be like What happened your daily No, but yeah, I'm not a psychotic. He turns it was raining and he turned on his motorcycle a little too fast
Oh, I was gonna get a motorcycle license. I was sitting in traffic and I was just watching cars or motorcycle zip between me And I was like dude, I gotta get a motorcycle and it was maybe the fifth time that I crashed my car in 2022 that I was like This is gonna be the death of me. That's Lewis at a moment where he was like I don't think I should do armored fighting or
Maybe neither of these are good. I have to trust you accept P Okay, it's no you're leaving the number one show and the number one show in the world being left in the hands of the Legion of Skanks
What could possibly go wrong? Let's take calls Lewis Jamie open phone lines What if it just turns out there's been phone lines the entire time just people have been waiting to get on Three said some new ideas for the show It's all but it's all way behind it's all a guy who's like I want to say something to Brian Redban This is your years late, sir. Yes, I've been on hold for 17 years This is going well guys what do you guys think because you don't pretty well so does he like us?
I don't I think I think you too. I think this Joe fell as a future in broadcasting. Oh, yeah, he's doing all right. I give him some notes, but Man, I'll tell you what though his His like on air Stuff is a kutramon to the table is very different than ours. It's cooler than ours. We's have a racist bear We've a racist. I feel I like to think we're getting there. Yeah, we are But no one's ever made his art out of drums or stuff like that. It's all really cool stuff. This is an actual dinosaur head
It's a real skull. Yeah, he was like dude. This is actually in a real UFO We actually went to Mars and found a miniature UFO. Oh, isn't this like a Tyrannosaurus windpipe or something
I don't even think I'm wrong about that. I think it's something like that Jamie is that we're looking at Waller's dick up there somewhere It does it's kind of look like a wall or a stick now that you mentioned that was pulled out of the permafrost and Alaska this was yeah, it's like shaved there is saw in there that was the no one knows why it's all flat like that That's the thought Dude if I steal the thing from the permafrost everybody take a little thing
Dave take a commemorative coin. I'm gonna take dice to cigarette No, I don't need to steal anything. I'll be back. I should leave some shit. Yeah, Dave Dave we really dumb you down for the show, huh? Oh, we're having fun boys No, I don't know. Jamie was telling us about this Yeah, unfrozen wall or stick or something. Yeah, yeah, it's a bone That's not oh, no, it's we actually have a wall or what is it? What kind of bone is it? What kind of bone is it?
The wall stick bone, where is that is that in the other studio? We got a wall or stick is it not very big is very fucking huge Giant this big the wall or sticks actually have bones. Yeah, what is it called the proboscis? What is it called? Dude is that a nose isn't it proboscis? I know Slow down this block. That's like that. It's called a back on bone. That's it That's what they look like that's giant and that's an actual wall versus cock. Yeah, that's why they're always hail and Hitler
Big fancy. Yeah, they it's actually a bone because nature doesn't have time for your hard-hands You get a bone with us. It's like too complicated raise kids like you got to be really into this I want you to be like in the mood. Yeah fully committed with your dogs have bones or No, yeah, they do yeah Are you I think cats have bones. I don't know if dogs have bones. Isn't there?
I don't think all of this is a lockness monster actually like a whale flipping upside down and his cock coming out of the water I've heard that the lockness monster photo the famous one is fake as fuck, but they said it's actually a If you see a whale flipping over on its back and it's dick comes out. It's what it looks like they said probably much could have been that It's horseshit or it's a sturgeon probably a sturgeon canine baculum. Yeah, yes, they have dog dick
They have dogs have a bone on their penis. Yeah, it's called a bat. So they have the same thing back You know, it doesn't taste like it as a bone in it. I think it's only us. I think that we're the chips and the primates The only ones that God doesn't trust like you can't have a bone that is just use it all day long You never build houses. It's a good God made the right call on that one 100%
It's too easy for us to fuck so the bone dies off. That's probably what happened because it's too easy Because if we just bread like we're already overpopulated we've not really but I mean if you wanted to look at us to compare to any other animal The balance is way off. There's way more us than there are them wherever we're on every fucking part of the country every part of the world Which ones?
We got robbed the cool ones. It says grill and chimpanzees The baculum of the dogs penis did you watch that thing yet the lady who the chim crazy on HBO? I love it. Do you think gorillas have them? Grille was out of the bone. So that's exactly what happened. You do not want to get fuck by a gorilla. We developed Agriculture and cities in the bone went away because then we would just fuck all day
We would never figure out cities. Well it said chimps have them which are supposed to be our closest No, no I wanted to get his phone to get a little off and throw and shit at each other. It's like whatever the common ancestor of us in chimps is That was the split was there like look we're gonna go in this direction where we build civilization and the chimps We're like we're gonna keep our dick bones. So good luck. That's exactly what happened. They had a conversation
I'm like I get it. I understand why you want to do it. The female has one. She has a bone in her clitoris damn How hard she comes wait there's a clip bone? Yeah, buddy Well probably has to be because all animals that are mammals they start off as female anyway, right? Like the same process I think for primates in that right? That's why boy is saying the analysis penis aren't done yet
We haven't grown enough. There is definitely a market for grinding down dick bones and fucking put it in your drinks or something Oh, yeah, and China has probably right up there with tiger bones. I guarantee it. I
Guaranteed it that they grind dick bones down in certain cultures. Yeah, well certain cultures like they they will want to drink Rhino tea because it's naughty You know they they know rhinos are an endangered species, but they cut their fucking horns off just to make tea and they it's supposed to make your your dick hard It's like a fucking I was just because it's like so
Chris in danger I'm a naughty boy. I'm gonna serve you some you know imagine you go over a guy's house like what a fucking house Look, let's get you want some fucking rhino horn tea Wow, you've got the real shit I want a fucking dodo bird that guy's got a raccoon
I need one. Oh, look at it that going. Yeah, I need a raccoon bone dick. You don't a raccoon one You want to fucking like a big old yeah I'll be a dick with it when the knife open shirt that's what happened we went we were like I don't need the dickbone I want to figure out space travel
You can't figure out space travel if you have that dick bone You can just like look at one of the other way a little bit once they developed a bulletproof skin The next thing is gonna be a re-emergence of the dickbone
Dicbone starts coming back. It was gonna fight against it Viagra. You're gonna be like fuck you earn it. Yeah, yeah You know You'd put a lot as a stop bulletproof skin because of the because this thing goes all you have to let it you get a follow the money It's gonna be a bulletproof dick bone for sure if you're gonna put a dick bone in there Why make it a regular bone? I like the thing can't break if a girl gets crazy the CEO of Viagra like as this podcast is out
Is in a room somewhere going they're talking about it on the Joe Rogan experience. All right This threatens our entire business model once AI goes live. That's gonna be one of the first things we fix Bring back the dick bone We've already devolved enough with we realize this is like a limit You get to the end of the road and civilization has to collapse and start over again But in the meantime, we're gonna need that dick bone back. That's that might be the thing that drives the collapse
Yeah, once you get the dickbone. There's no more need for civilization Well, no, I think civilization collapses and then the reemergence of the dickbone becomes a necessity because you have to Fuck very quickly because you get in your animals. Okay. All right. I got it. Yeah, and so there's madness cannibal gangs in the streets fucking block takeovers times a million Juggalose And you're gonna need a dick bone because you have 13 seconds to impregnate your wife
And then hope that neither one of you gets eaten on the way to the lake That You're like that was my that was my third wife by the way, so I'll have a fourth one soon But you guys just the skull of a wind dingo an evil mythical forest creature a mule deer Oh, it's a mule deer. This is the regular deer. Did you kill that one? Yeah, it was the first animal You told you you killed the crocodile that's out there. It's alligator. Sorry. Yeah, sorry
That's like that's Miss Jenner. I just want show actually get mad at me. No, no, I didn't but the crocodiles are like That's a bigger accomplishment. That's a scarier animal way scarier. That is a huge alligator. It's big ass That is a massive beast big ass out wait the crocodile is scarier than the alligator. Yeah, we scarier And what is it that makes them scarier?
We bigger way more aggressive chase some of us are here to learn we look stupid because that Fucking terrifying If we you know they found a bunch of them in the Everglades in Florida You know the same assholes that let loose their fucking pythons He's a bunch of them have let loose some giant Nile crocodile. Oh, it was the guy that was he's riding like the fan boat through and then all the sudden like the ground is more
Oh, that's a different. I think that's in Costa Rica. I think that video. I don't think that video is in America
I might I might actually be a different kind of crocodile. It might be in the Amazon. I don't believe that's America But the ones in America the ones they're spotting they have like a kill on site order for them in the Everglades because if you Have a fucking a population of breeding Nile crocodile It's over it's fuck your golf like Kill sites of anything if you're unarmed you just see what out there they go
government said I gotta kill this thing on site like let's go mother fucker. How do you have an alligator? You have to shoot it How many to the to date have they Killed in the the Everglades Because they've they've spotted it's more than four I think
So the problem is they don't look through much of the Everglades. It's too crazy It's so thick the whole middle of Florida is like Florida is the dick of the country and that that dick is infested with monster soup It's just it's just pythons pythons and fucking crocodiles and alligators everywhere and there's no mammals left like 90% of the mammals in the Everglades are gone The crocodiles just fucking out now the pythons pythons killed everything pythons have killed everything
And that's just like very recent right by thorns are killing alligators they eat alligators No, no, no Nile crocodiles and now Navigates for sure they I was watching a news thing Nile Crocs now. Yeah, there it is Wow, that's something on reddit. Yeah
Ten years ago someone called a there's been more than one though. I think it's been four different ones that they've caught I don't know how my algorithm got this but it was like if you ever get attacked by it must have been a crocodile Maybe it was an alligator, but they told you what to do
Punching the nose and put it through it's always by the way step one is always stay calm Yeah, no first thing you want to do I play Stay calm you got a role with it because it's gonna try to roll you right and then if you have an opportunity
Play dead because then it'll think you're dead or it said punch it in his nose Which is the fun All the guys all of it's hilarious you don't shit try tickling at different places you ain't doing shit My friend Jim shot you don't know that Joe maybe it'll tickle a fucking alligator my friend Jim Shockey got sent to Africa to hunt them because they were killing these people in this village
Everybody in the village is like missing a hand. They all had like bites taken out of them These crocodiles were like targeting these people like they were food And so they brought in this professional hunter this guy is a friend of mine Jim shocky and he went to Africa and shot these crocodiles
Gee, why was there one of the ladies got taken one of the ladies was Washing clothes in the in the river and they just fucking snatched out maybe don't wash clothes in the river But this is how crazy does they develop like a system where they stick logs in the ground and like the circular area
Because they think the crocodiles can't come through it But I think the crocodiles are figuring out how to go on the ground when everyone's sleep and then slip right into that and wait Don't don't lions do that shit in Africa too like they really hunt humans right? They'll really like plan it out and shit. Do you ever see that? Valpium and maybe people whistles Okay No It'd be like who wants to see I got wild pussy Are you guys here and that I'm gonna go check this out real quick?
I want a sector dick why isn't the alien of the predator like the guy who comes down and fucks people up Why doesn't he hunt us that way with calls when that be more exciting for him? Yeah, instead of just running people down and fucking taking their heads Get in the morning first trick them into going on a wellness retreat Set it up like a deer blind like a wellness to treat you do to feel fucking if you're a duck You think you're about to get laid and you fucking just get blasted in the head
Well, they think it's a safe place to land. It's even more despicable They take rubber ducks and they put them everywhere like a house or a party Happy and then you come in and just imagine being a duck and just getting blasted out of the sky like how? Yeah, that sucks. I thought I had to worry about dogs and things like that I didn't think I'd worry about getting blasted out of the fucking sky. Doug is delicious though It is delicious meat. Yeah, and it's probably fun blast him out of the sky
I haven't done that particular activity, but I bet it's a good time. Just fucking pop the hatch And then you cook them up that night nice. Yeah, it's got to be a lot of fun But you got to be careful you don't eat a buckshot that's a real issue Because you don't always get all the little babies because a shotgun you shoot it up there It's a scatter that's how you can shoot birds and the migrants to they just grab and break their neck and cook them up
That's the better we do it really yeah, no bucks. I needed no buck shot needed get those bitch ass domesticated ducks that are subject to grabbing Those park ducks. They don't know any better yet Just oh, yeah, I don't yeah, I assume you can't just eat like lake duck you could can you yeah sure You could eat them up say is that like is there any kind of good?
It doesn't take when I go to that one I think duck is that the same duck that you just see in like a like central park There's different kinds of ducks some ducks are called diver ducks and those are the least appetizing because diver ducks go all the way down to the bottom of the
The where the ground is the Surf the bottom of the lake and they eat all the algae and all the bullshit and like anything is down there They eat anything they eat dead fish and all kinds of rotten things and the idea is that they they're not very tasty But the other ducks There's did like mowards and different ducks that like people hunt they don't dive, you know
They they eat things that are like on the surface. They don't go down and eat the muck But I've had diver duck that was really well prepared by a chef Sky owns died-do-way in town. It's an amazing restaurant and He cooked it fantastic. It was awesome. And this is the ones who eat all the bad shit, but it still tastes good
You can yeah, you could still do it right. It's just to involve process You know like he had to he brined them and did a bunch of different things and marinated them But the ultimately you can't eat them But I think like a regular duck the kind that are like sitting on the pond you could snatch one of those up up I bet it would be just like a regular duck that you shoot out of the sky. It's just a duck
Well fellas, we know what we're doing after this. Well, I mean if you came from a country where there's no food and all the sudden they flew you into Ohio I'm like why are we all here like no one tells you not to eat the ducks right there's just ducks there now that maybe you don't even speak English So there's only science ain't don't kill the ducks and you say oh look ducks kill ducks
When you ducks wouldn't you automatically grab a duck? I feel like you came from a place where there's no food Oh, yeah, no, I'm not blaming the Haitians peaking duck is the most popular duck to eat peaking duck meat is known for It's a mild satisfying flavor easily adapts to a number of cuisines as a lighter flesh and milder flake So this is not peaking this is a this is a duck I says peaking So the peaking is a type, but this is this is like domestic ducks. That's what they're showing here
So like if you buy duck in a restaurant, you're not really buying wild duck. You're buying a domesticated duck But there's wild ducks that taste really good and there's wild ducks that are a little funky and those those the ones that they call Diver ducks
Yeah, there's like fish I'm I went fishing in Puerto Rico went deep-sea fishing and there's like certain fish that like they eat Or I guess the bigger the fish were like the The eat like all the algae and stuff off the reef and I guess if the fish was really big You had to like throw it back because you can get like really sick
I think it's the toxins from the fish they eat they eat stuff off the reef. Oh, right. You're right about that actually Yeah, yeah, we caught some barracuda and they're like on this area You can keep them, but if you catch them over there you can't keep them you can't eat them It's weird. It's like it's and especially with like big game species because those there's ones that they just won't eat
It's too risky. It's pretty wacky. We could when fishing on a Perch tour this summer and they caught a fail and then like it was gonna like I thought he was gonna like gut the fish right there on the boat But what he was doing was when you pull them up very fast Like they get like the bends mm-hmm
So it looks so violent, but they're actually saving the fish are gonna throw them back and they like just like Stab them almost like underneath the thing and like it just like lets the air out and they're able to live fish get the bends Yeah, yeah the pressure that their body has to be under when they're like 500 feet underwater is insane
And so when they go to the top their organs like come out through their mouth. It's crazy So yeah, they filled up so he's like you like let the air of a balloon and then the fish start moving again I need to throw them back on the back I cooked a lobster once and you're supposed to put the knife into the back of its head You're not supposed to just boil it, but I couldn't do it. I was like there's no way. That's what it looks like
The guy's eyeballs pop out and his tongue pops out. I've seen that happen looks kind of like Ari. It's very A lot like it looks like a wacky like a like a card you'd get it Spencer's In their fish called the jufish There is right. Let's get filled to fish But that's I mean Imagine what that does to your body going from 500 feet down in the fucking ocean to pulling up to the top Yeah, it just pops out. Yeah, that doesn't sound fun Why isn't that not the case?
Probably that's probably exactly what would happen if you went to the moon took your helmet off well We've never really gone. That's what to recall said happens on Mars Do you fish there you go over Do you think the other fish you put the Hitler fish please? It's a Goliath That's what I want person is gonna lie in group only one fish can get to the bottom of this problem
They have a disproportionate control of the fish media. I'm just wondering is that didn't that fish banks a jufish is a Goliath Grouper popped it in the Google says Atlantic Goliath Grouper. Wow. Let me see that motherfucker Well, hello here for your rent money look at that picture with a diamond You rent money look at that picture with a diver that's fucking insane That's like a large mouth bass that could eat a person if I saw that
I would think that I was about to be murdered. I would not be comfortable with that thing being right next to me I think that I shrunk Bro if you were a little kid if like if you were a four-year-old kid and you went diving free diving near that There's a real likelihood that thing swallows you 800 pounds. Oh, yeah, do you fish you babies? What spread that rumor? You ever seen a large mouth bass take out a duckling?
No, but I want to now they take them out they take out birds There's a guy that was developing a lure for there's a giant pike called a musky They're notoriously hard to catch and they're enormous like real Ancient fish looks like a monster and the hard cats they're they call them like the fish of 10,000 casts And so this guy developed a lure for them. That's a duck
It's a little ducky. We would have cost the water. It's very effective for it. It's muskies like the fuck up ducks Geez they're huge deal like this big
Have you seen one? No, I don't think so pull up a photo. You think I went on a right here. Oh, there is no that's a large mouth bass but um google musky Giant just google giant musk That's him wow look at that thing Well, look at these are crazy and they're super predators Yeah, they take out ducks and all kinds of things and if you you want to catch them you have to have a big ass lure Look at that look at the size of their fucking mouth is just covered in teeth like a barracuda
Is there a video of one of these things like eating a duck? Oh, yeah for sure if you have the catch you have to dress like antifa Yeah Those get this weapon You hit it with a bike lock You got to catch those motherfuckers in some cold ass water just like northern pike. Do you fish will not replace us? Giant muskie eats a duck here it goes Oh You fake this out cock sucker Oh, I thought that was it. That's a solid that was a solid bit
Okay, muskie eats duck gotta sit through an ad okay. Is this a duck lure? Yeah, unless he's got a duck with a hook through it that monster And that fucked up like you hate mice you kill mice at the mouse trap But if you went fishing with a mice in a hook people oh you piece of shit What is wrong with you?
Like why bait right you put it right there their eyes, but if you do that to a mouse everybody we get very upset with you You piece of shit and that crazy like you kill him with a spring back and there was like oh, yeah, mouse trap good job And it's not like that's a humane way to kill him you can talk to a mouse for a Loop track I got lost on a YouTube. You drew anyone's with a guy who made homemade mouse traps
And he would like create little systems to to drown mice and rats and buckets. Yeah, it was great Oh, yeah, they like sent to like a bucket. Yes, yeah, was that it? That was that was a little bit is a crazy. It's New York right yeah His system of mice and rats and it just catches them and puts them in buckets to drown
And then the guy just the end of the month. He just has like a buckets of mice and it's so crazy You guys see that Netflix documentary rats no, it's all about rats in New York City rats all over the country
No, I was all over it. Oh, it's fucking horrible There's I think the biomass of rats in New York City is equal or greater to the biomass of human beings Oh, yeah, there are so many rats I'm pretty more there's no no that is think about how many people walking on the street and think about the idea that the number of rats is greater People in rats
The talk is eat rats shit. Do you know horrible the entire under This is a bullshit estimate The estimate that they're approximately three million rats in New York City Which is close to a third of the city's population more so 50% increase from a decade ago This is the AI over we do have a rat czar now. So maybe she's doing her shit. I think the documentary was saying that they're Here it is right here. There are 8.2 million humans average mass of 70 kilograms about two million rats
That is not true. There's not too Who knows how many like one said there's two million one said there's gonna be what's gonna be not safe for work It's a girl saying it with her pussy
I think they got deleted. Oh, there's no good Measurement of how many rats are yeah, there's not like a guy going down there's like everybody hold still 14 15 how would you possibly not you cannot they're just justifying their job just like the people in the homeless commission No, fucking way you can tell me how many rats there are in New York City No, there's no fucking I parked my car once it was back in the day when you had a cell phones or
Uh, uh, payphones rather and I was pumping gas. It was in the Bronx and I went over to this pay phone And I'm on the pay phone. I'm watching rats jump out of the wheel of my car Jump into the engine bay jump all around it. They were coming out of the sewer and jumping on the car It was that's why I started two minutes on the phone going what the fuck? I didn't realize so I lived in the city what a problem that is rats will go inside If you leave your car like sitting for days at a time
rats will get inside like chew like wires and fucking like fuck your car. It's crazy So it sits for over a hundred years nearly everyone has believed New York is about eight million rats a ratio of one human to one rat the theory began the
19 hundreds when author and rat expert W.R. Boelter hypothesized that in England there was a ratio of one human to one rat however Alback points out that the hypothesis was erroneously applied to New York City and is widely quoted to this day Many expert has debunked You know what I lost a lot of faith in experts over the last few years. I see some fucking data You know, it's actually 36 humans to one rat. I don't know about that. I don't think you know that
I don't think you know. I mean under under the grounds like how do you possibly know the entire subway systems? Full of fucking rats didn't say after that Jamie someone said it's one to one. What does it say? 150 the New York City helped the problem went back to one to one. Okay. That's probably more accurate
And it's probably even worse now. There's still fucking way you know the whole the tunnels that's all filled Oh, dude in the city and we all you know lived in city for years and years, but Jay still does
But they'll be every now and then they'll just be like a block where there's like construction or something like that Like there's something open in the ground and don't know You just have to walk through and you have just have to like stomp your way through it because there's just rats everywhere
It's the fucking one. It's like it feels like your skin is like Oh, I've never seen it with rats for but I will say and I found out what it was after but To about a first time New York thing happening was a I was just outside smoking a cigarette on my stoop when I was in the East Village And then all of a sudden I was like hmm, that's weird Three roaches walking by in the daylight for like that's kind of weird. You don't see that a lot
Just like you know, it's like three different times three different roaches. I'm like that's pretty strange And then several more and then We're in Motown telling you and I'm telling you me within five minutes Falling off the buildings Our superintendent came out and he was like what's going on and then they all we saw make landing on his show He was freaking out and then we went inside came out a couple hours later and there was thousands of them down the street
And I go what happened he goes. Oh, that's what they do in New York whenever they like bomb a building for uh Like roaches it just shoots them to other buildings They just come out so that's what it was just he goes oh one building There's they're probably trying to sell a building so they bombed it for a roaches And it just sends tens of thousands of them out onto the street
Five millions. I mean, I'm talking when I was saying like it wasn't you couldn't take a step and not be stepping on like the carcasses of like But they just do they like waterbugs the New Yorker that's the ones J's talking about The most disgusting creature in the world those waterbugs in New York City That's what you see you he's like oh, it was crawling and then all of a sudden it just takes flight and comes at you You're like well, and it's like one month a year that they actually fly
But when they do man, they just become the grossest thing if you want to live in a big city. That's just part of the program Yeah, it's can't get rid of them can't get rid of the rats either. It's not like anyone's incompetent It's too deep you would have to move out. It's our job to go
Let the rats have it. Yeah, you'd have to move out and then nuke it from space Well, there's all types of like I live out in the country now and there's all types of animals that I don't love that are around But nothing's gross like that like it's like there's like a bobcat that we've caught on our camera a few times I'm like, I don't really want that thing around but it's not cool though. Yeah, it's cool
It's not like disgusting. It's just like gross animals. I live a little closer to the city in Jersey I get some gross animals. Do we have those one of them? Yeah, putery again. You know, what a one of the things that was like a big problem in New York last summer Black Lives Matter right at the bugs. Yeah. Oh, there's still there. They're back this year lantern Oh, yeah, there's a lot of those invasive so it came over in a so in 2020 in the summer of 2020 We started seeing
So they're being funded by the UN. They were brought over. They were doing work on the high line But I know they said in the summer of 2020 we started seeing these little bugs we had never seen before and they said they're supposed to kill it
They said you're supposed to kill it if you see it and immediately we're like I don't work for you government I'm not going around killing your bugs and then by the next summer There was like 10 times as many and the next summer they were like 10 times many and like red
They look like moths with like a red underbelly or kind of yeah, they're like a little red They're almost kind of pretty looking until there's a bunch of them and they kind of fly I first want to show them I thought they were like beautiful little butterflies and it was like oh they're nice
And then I heard that they were a problem and then they skived me out like they fucked up they fucked up plants But they came over The high line in New York was doing us something they brought in plants from China and they came in here Is that why yeah, so they came in all through the docks and these plants from China and now it's just they are there and
It's crazy. It's about a month month and a half They are a like the roof of my building You could probably pull that up to me like New York City You can't go on the roof of my building like there's Same thing like tens of thousands of them all over there. There was a lady up there once I might walked up there covered in them like fucking candy man I do crazy
She was accepting it. I was like oh god. She was accepting me But they're evolving too and the fact that the first year that I was aware of them The first year I was aware of them you could step on them and they didn't really do much Now they fly and they run around and if you have no screen on your window If you open a window and you're there will be a hundred of them in a room. Oh my god. It's so disgusting It was only like this for like two weeks last summer
But there were two weeks where my yard was unusable. Yeah, like you just could not go It's about a month and one of the ones that they come up every like however many years they come up out of the ground and Locus They get catas. That's a in Jersey as well like the catas are cool though. They make cool sounds They make really cool sounds that you find there like carcasses like the hollowed out carcasses of bodies all over the place Trying to run through your bathroom. No, no and these things are
But they're playing they're killing all like plants and stuff too. Yeah, it's really bad But they're like if you read one article. It's like here's New York's five-year plan to get rid of the lantern flies And the next article is like no, they're just here like this is gonna be a month over here. Where China? Wow China got us twice and they land on you. They're not they're not afraid. That's it two strikes China
Don't you try this shit again? They come over do they land right on your face and your head and your body Great. Did they come over in some sort of cargo ship or something? Yeah, I think it was it was in plants that they were bringing I'm pretty sure Fauci made them They're pretty cool looking Maybe they can vaccinate us that way Genetically engineer mosquitoes to run around Vaccine people
They would do this thing in my old place We used to like on we'd have like on the there's like a slide and glass door And we'd have just like the screen open and it was like in the weeks where it was bad every 10 minutes You'd look over there and there's like four of them on there and then you hit the screen and they kind of fly off But then they just fly right back and if you like left the room and came back you'd come back and there's 50 of them like on
It's just gross. Yeah, it's not fun. I'm a real chick when it comes to bugs and creepy things Normal, yeah, people like bugs are weird. They are weird people keep bugs in their house Like look at that tarantula. I'm gonna feed it a mouse. You're fucking psychopath Oh, yeah, anything anything ike he's not my thing
So I went home with a girl years ago from a diner turns that she was a tarantula. She was a tarantula It was it was weird pets and in the in the final straw where for I left we didn't hook up because when she was like Oh, you got to let my my bino rat crawl on you and I was like I'm just gonna go like this is not worth it I had a buddy hooked up with this girl and she had a crocodile monitor Rift Tried a crocodile monitor in her house. It's a pet you can keep it as a pet
Wait, what is it? It's a crocodile monitor. It's the creepiest looking lizard that you could buy from exotic pet store You could buy him you could have that This this girl apparently had that he was like yo red flag Yeah, the girl has some opportunities. You had a nicoana that I hated Is Lady thought she was on games at thrones. She had her own dragon She's like you said you watched that chim crazy thing. Yeah, it's lonely old women will can throw Heart-felt emotion into anything in the world
Yeah, women are caregivers. What is the the they get chimps? They they want to keep these chimps and raise them this lady this fucking champ attacked her friend tore her face off I was at the time a long call. Yeah, one of them is not about that lady, but they talk about that Oh my god, that one is horrifying. The point is that lady got a chimp after that
Another one miss tavernor chimp. They're cool. It got murdered. I went to that the dock annals place down in my middle beach with my son Um, you know, it's like they're one of the it was in the tiger tiger king documentary Yeah, but they didn't just have tigers they had like the baby tigers, which was awesome But they had like chimps that came out and they had like it was it was a really really cool experience who twos They had some who twos and what two two Super educational
Yeah, no, it was definitely they were torturing these animals But it was definitely worth the $500 I spent to get it. This is nice They castrate those chimps too Most of them mo the one that one in Connecticut though they didn't the mind blowing thing was that part of why he like oh yeah Yeah, the way more aggressive than not castra I had the guys on the guys who made the documentary
Oh the show he uh that chimped crazy thing. It's I was blowing away actually by how much stuff I mean like She made them weirdly self-sufficient on something when she throw A mcdegga mcnuggets. Mm-hmm. It wasn't the open the mcnuggets then they throw them she goes Oh, and here's your sauce like a sweet like a sweet and sour sauce and the monk you know said it go like like rip the
Little often like think yeah, no, they weren't dipping it though. I kept asking them like did they dip like why didn't you show that they dipped Like they just drank that stuff Because there's a weird line there. It's like if they dip you're almost like maybe they deserve rights
I don't know like if you if you go I'm like I have a drive nugget. I know it like the practice. Oh does yeah, yeah, yep Yeah, they don't just like bite the top off of uh, yeah, listen to things too She could say grab that paper and don't grab the paper give it back to her give her the garbage when she give mcnuggets and shit But she has to keep in a cage Because he's a male he's a grown male and they'll just go crazy and just rip your face off and there's nothing you can do about it
They were given that chance to put a person. They were given them cool aid at dock annals place They were like in the she had these they were chugging the cool aid these chance they were fucking they loved it I ever really scared do they came down they like they like and they were like just you weren't at all But I just thought you were about to make a really racist joke like I'll just
I'm 100% like they love cool. They're like easy. They'll come on man Um, no, but like they came down and they were just so like kind of like walking around us They were full so they were like six feet tall. It was fucking
Dude that's terrifying. Yeah, they were they could do full ground champs They were full ground champs and they they just felt at any moment that they could just lose their shit and just take over If they just wanted to at any moment they could just attack you then that's what you ever say that one with the guy was like with his Bear he had a trained bear you have this guy stands still the guys just stand still in the bear just decides to rip his neck off
Just out of nowhere. I know I'm thinking of the one I'm a joke about it. There was a joke about it. It was about him the day. Yeah, but that's a different one That's a different that's a karate the karate yeah, this is different This is a guy who's just standing there and it's a bear that was in a bunch of movies It was a bear that was a trained bear and this bear out of nowhere just decides to rip this guy's throat apart. What kind of bear?
Aggrizly okay, those are the cuz what do I got in Jersey by me? It's the black bears black bears They're still kill people. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're also cool. They killed a kid at Rutgers. It is that fun Yeah, when someone has to scream though like the name they give like chimpanzees and stuff like He's biting or fingers
It's a funny it's a funny thing because especially like little kids like they all of their like stories and shows and it's all like nature Personified and things like that like I remember like um my uh my daughter when she was like three asking me why like bugs are running away from her Like why is this spider running away or whatever it is? It's like oh my honey It's like well, you know, he thinks you're gonna kill it because you might actually kill it
But then you almost bears especially the young ones look so fucking cute. Would you just look at them? You see a bell cup. You're dead already tiger cup. It's a cute nature's dirt track
Yeah, it is the awful thing of it. That's the problem with like they said about like having chimpanzees his pets is like for a while It's totally fine and then one day it's just not and that one that uh rip the lady's face off Did you see like that video they show a video of like they should have known this was kind of gonna happen because A kid one time picked up a shoe off the floor that like The the monkey wanted and then he goes over and he's coming after me and it looks a little aggressive
But it's still like he's not that big so it doesn't look that scary But then we just make some move like to grab it the shirt and whatever and you see the kid like almost falls over He's like whoa whoa whoa and they have to like all kind of Jump in front of the monkey like yeah over something. He's unaware the guy's
He knew he did wrong. He just grabbed the shoe off the floor and the monkey wanted that shoe and didn't know how to tell him I just decided to beat the fuck out of the little kid and it does take their general's off with it They take your fingers off. Yeah, they take your general's off so you can Fork create anymore. They'll bite your feet off Yeah, really don't shit. Don't keep them as you know what they don't do they don't kill people in that crazy They just may me just rip you apart
That's what's really nuts. They don't they don't kill people. They don't kill people There's very few instances of chimpanzees killing people they kill these guys are saying they kill people Like as far as like little kids get snatched up in Africa You know like if you're a child or your baby and your near aggressive hungry chimpanzees and you leave the kid alone
They could still steal your kid. There's been it's them stealing kids Yeah, well they eat monkeys all the time that that I've seen videos of which is insane I think I saw you playing it on the show chim seating monkeys. Yeah, chim seating monkeys is like dark Well, they didn't know they didn't until at and bro went into the woods and he started filming and then he got this footage of these
Chimps setting up an ambush on these monkeys and they rip them apart while they're a lot. Yeah, they tore it Got them alive and he's just eating them Fucking dick first just pulling chunks of meat off of them It's when they're ripping arms off and handing it to their friends And you see the most because we're so related to them It's so much more gruesome But like I did I watch like nature as metal. It's a great follow an Instagram and I just did I watch a fucking
Align like eat a baby out of an antelope stomach and like just swallow it like a pill. You're like oh, that's awesome Horrible Komodo dragons are the scariest they just swallow everything whole Hose All four legs are hanging out of the mouth still yeah, no animals have there's not a lot of
Emotion in their faces of those to like those should he lizards so like they eat a whole goat and then they're just like Yes, like on the next thing no highs no lows Even kids do you use eight of fucking goat like dude watching a bird eat a mammal It's just one of the weird it just doesn't look like it should happen so like it would just be like a bird Like it'd be like a seabird big a seagull and I'll like pick up a squirrel and just
Rats they kill rats all the time. Yeah, I'm swallum hole. There's crazy videos of seagull swallum and rats whole All right, we got to bring the seagulls into Manhattan We'll figure out we'll figure out the seagull problem next Seagulls are gonna eat your cat. They're gonna eat everything Once they run out of rats what they won't well, that's one of the reasons why the Hollywood Hills aren't filled with rats
It's because of coyotes right the more coyotes. There are the less rats. We uh one time in uh, I think actually it was the last time that we all did uh Your show together the three of us did it and it was back when you were in LA and I was staying in some air B&B Out in the hills and me and my wife
Uh, heard we were literally sleeping at night and we heard I believe Coyote is attacking a dog and it was like the saddest thing to hear because you just you you hear them like come up And then it's like 30 seconds of a dog like and uh my my wife loves dogs she was like crying and she's like we have to do something and I was like we will be doing nothing
But letting this happen you can't do it. It's already too late. That's pitch blackouts I wasn't gonna go out there with a lantern What a pussy They usually don't kill people the last time a coyote killed a personal record was uh, there was a Canadian folk singer
She lived in a part of Canada with a coyote is it started eating moose Because they were running out of things to eat and they they realized that if they bite on moose's legs Especially like young moose as they could take them out and then they could eat them and kill them So they were going after thing they were accustomed to going after things larger than them. They started to learn and they kill this lady Wow, and we know female folk singers they are big
I don't know if she's big. I don't think she was in fact. I think she was pretty small It might have been an honest mistake. They thought it was a moose Like we're used to this and that's how much fuck music sucks Or they don't give a fuck about you That's more likely you live in a place where there's actual bears like new jersey so bad that the mayor ran on a platform of having bears The bear hunting be removed and then once he was in office
He was like fuck that start hunting them again. Yeah, because there's so many human bear interact New Jersey has more bears per capita than anywhere in the lower 48. Yeah, there's really yeah new Jersey
New Jersey got a lot of bears. Yeah, we got a lot of crazy Because the thing is forget about the like the was it Ramapo man's like it's it's Gets rural is shit Jersey or cold the garden state But everyone when they think of Jersey to think a newer Jersey sure it's so big that we say Jersey now you're imagining a diet hair and the fucking fist pop up guys Most of New Jersey is not anything like that. It's just Mountains and woods
You know a lot of hunting people yeah, there's like red necks in New Jersey. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, you ever seen me out of the furnace like explores that whole thing was a Christian bail KCF like will him to foe really and will he harrow some played the character of like a Those like mountain people like just you know, meth trade cousin fucking. It's like it's really like they make it like a weird place I was in Pennsylvania or in Jersey it's Jersey saw it's actually
On the border of it's a Ramapo mountains. I think yeah Jim Miller You have see fighter lives in New Jersey. Yeah, like the woods. Yeah, yeah, it's a sparta new Jersey. That's crazy That's crazy. That's crazy. You would think you do everybody thinks smog stacks and yeah, you know
They think it's the smell well. It's like the same way people think of Pennsylvania They think a filly and Pittsburgh and shit, but most of Pennsylvania is not they're not producing Jay Okerson's out there They're making like it's you but you just went in the lumberjack direction
It's me with a dad to stuck around really telling the other world worked That's where the world gets dark right you get born into a spot where there's fucking no way out of here Yeah, you get stuck in the coal mines of West Virginia and you're like shit Like how do I get that?
City is like our because if you live in a big city, there's like people are dreaming and shit if you're like in the middle of nowhere It's like well, even if you're in the suburb of a big city, you know like if you're if you're In kind of nowhere, but there's a half hour bus to like a city where something's happening
But there's people I remember talking to a Jeff dice. This is really brilliant dude He's he was Ron Paul's like chief of staff for years, but so where Ron Paul is it's like two hours south of Houston
I like Jackson. I think was the name of his district and he was telling me he was like dude There's nothing here like there's no like if you're a kid coming up here It's like I don't know we got an Arby's and we got like something and there's where so many of those kids join the military Because that's like the only thing you could do juggalo You could There's one other option off to overlook option Become a juggalo or join a cult
Which I court, you know, that's let's how you get someone in a cult. It's the best option available You know like hey, can you guys travel? Can I be a missionary? I'm gonna go to Brazil. Fuck it Um You doesn't stop. I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. I'm gonna let's wrap this up. You're gonna pop out really three and a half hours in So boys there's a lot of fun dude. You're the man So we're having us. Thank you really believe what I said about skankfest. It's very important
You guys doing is very important and it seems like fun. It is fun. I'm sure very fun It's you need things out there that are Genuinely open and free and pushing the boundaries of comedy, you know, and skankfest is a great place for that So it's important And uh there's a livestream event
Tell Lewis tell everybody about us. You guys uh you still get passes for uh Sunday I believe we might be a handful of Fridays left But we're live streaming it as well if you guys can't be there live in Las Vegas this weekend September 27th at the 29th it's gonna skankfest.com. There's a bunch of events You could actually watch live as we stream them and um, yeah, we're just pumped. Thank you. Get your liver detox pills ready
Fucking animals. Yeah, I was gonna party like We've never done before life was so old glue to thion Get that you're gonna need that. All right gentlemen. Uh appreciate you. Always fun. Thank you, man. You're the man Joe. You're the man's bye