Hey, everyone. I'm going to start a series of podcasts for the youth, people who are really 13 and up, and even sometimes people who are in their tweens are dealing with these things, parents of young people, and friends of young people. Keep listening in. You're going to want to hear this and listen to what I'm speaking about and share it with the young people. Greetings, thank you for tuning in to listen to Equipping the Bride podcast. I'm brother Jason DeMars from Beaufort, South Carolina, a minister at Bethel Tabernacle. New episodes of this podcast are posted every Friday. You can watch this podcast on YouTube and listen to it on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Spotify. If you have any questions, testimonies or prayer requests, please let me know at jasondemars.com. I also have free books and tracks available at my website, and shipping is free as well. May the Lord richly bless you.
I'm gonna do this as kind of a question and answer session. My focus and what's on my heart is young people and issues they're going through right now. I guess in many ways they're similar to what all of us have went through, but in other ways it is really different. And today's day and age is much more deceptive. For me, as when I was growing up, you know, spent a lot of time outside running around with friends, and I was just on the cusp of video games and those things becoming prominent in the home. Of course, there was always arcades, but you had to go and you met with your friends and it was a social type of thing. But when it comes to what young people are dealing with now I'd never, I never dealt with that. You know, when I was, the personal computer was kind of just coming out and just becoming an important factor when I was a young man in my, in my late teens.
And I guess if you're late teens, you're not a young man, but whatever. Looking at, looking at that time period where the PC started coming out, and now, you know, we have that boiled down into a little phone that follows us or leads us wherever we go, it seems like, unfortunately. But I want to talk about those issues for young people. I, I feel like this is really one of those things where we need to go into this. Some of it you might say, this simple, every, every young person should know this. And I don't, I don't think we can treat it like that. It's a, it's a very complicated, complex age that the devil is working overtime in. And so, let's start, I see my notes are over there across some of my notes. Anyways, I got my main notes here on my, on my iPad, but I'm going to reach across and grab my notes,
Not necessarily for this question that we're dealing with, but I will need them. All right, so the first question, series of questions I wanted to answer was, is sex Okay? Before marriage with someone you're committed to, is kissing your girlfriend or fiance, okay, before marriage is touching various parts of the body, okay? When you're engaged is ho holding hands, okay, when you are first dating. All right, so let's look at scripture and then let's look at what Brother Braham spoke about to deal, to deal with this. It's clear, very clear. The Bible limits sex to being inside of the marriage covenant between one man and one woman. Only one Corinthians 72 says, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. So here the word for fornication is poeo, and it means illicit sex or sex, any kind of sex outside of the marriage. Covenant doesn't merely mean the act of sex, but it all the acts that are a part of sex, I don't wanna speak to graphically or openly here, but in other words, if you read the Song of Solomon and celebrates kissing, foreplay, oral sex, et cetera, done between a husband and wife in that marriage context, Hebrews 13, four says, marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but harmers in adulterers, God will judge.
So the acts between a husband and wife are undefiled and they are honorable. Sex is not evil, and it's not a sin in marriage. Again I refer to Song of Solomon, remember that God, within the context inside the marriage covenant, God allows us to delight in one another's bodies. Outside of that, though it is considered fornication, fornication is a sin. Webster's dictionary defines fornication in this way. The intercourse or lewdness of unmarried persons, male or female. Also, the criminal conversation of a married man with an unmarried woman. Second definition is adultery, third is incest. And fourth, they speak of the spiritual application of idolatry. So we can see that fornication speaks of any act outside of the marriage covenant. It's not just limited to those who are unmarried. Even adultery follows adultery and incest follow under the umbrella of fornication, first Corinthians seven, nine.
But if they cannot marry, if they cannot contain, let them marry for it is be better to marry then to burn. So it's speaking of burning with lust. If you're burning with lust and you can't control yourself, it is better to get married. You know, Paul is speaking in First Corinthians seven, and he's speaking about in, in some portion of it, he's speaking. It would be better if you remained desired remained unmarried. Okay? So that's what Paul is speaking about here. It would be better if you were unmarried, but everybody has a gift given to them by the Lord. If you cannot contain, if that's not your gift cannot control your passions, then get married. It's better to marry than to burn. And that's what he says. Even in, in that first verse, we read in verse Christs seven, two, to avoid fornication and let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. So part of the purpose of marriage is to express that sexual desire that we have in us, God placed it in there for the purpose of multiplying and replenishing the earth. And he, that desire is there, we can speak about that or not, but he, in order for us to avoid sin avoid sin, and the punishments that come from that sin, he's ordained, that we would have our own spouse, and that sex would be that, that desire for sex would be satisfied within the context of a committed for life, marriage, covenant.
We don't need to fade to black. Sorry about that. I had the video hit a little here with my iPad and it, it turned it to black. So sorry about that. For those listen on the podcast, you have no idea what I'm talking about. So on the audio podcast, Matthew one 18. Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise, when as his mother, Mary was a spouse to Joseph. Before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put away her pre privately. And Joseph got a, had a dream. And in that dream, let me, let me go there, right? I left out those scriptures. I want to get that Matthew one,
Verse 20. But while he thought on these things, behold the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take her to the Mary thy wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. All right, and then we skipped down. Then Joseph being raised from sleep, did, is the angel. This is 24 of the Lord had forbidden him and took unto him, his wife, and knew her nod until she had brought forth her firstborn son, and he called his name Jesus. So there we have Joseph and Mary were espoused, and under the espousal that was between two, two fathers would join two together, right? The arrangements would be made. And in those times the couple was not allowed to touch each other live together, et cetera, until the consummation of the marriage and a ceremony performed by a rabbi in front of family.
And then they would go into this tent to be joined together by the, by the sex act together that would put make them a consummation of them being a husband and a wife. And they're free to live with each other. But before that, they were forbidden to do so. So in the but in the scriptures, it really wasn't anything. As we call dating, we have that now. Now that's okay. But we remember that this is a friendship based thing to be done in groups and in front of the other people. You shouldn't go into private rooms or pi private places together with anyone of the opposite sex. That is not your, that is not your spouse. You know, the, the Billy Graham rule applies here, or Brother Brandham rule even applies there, which is unless you go in with your, into a room with your wife, you would never go into that room.
With someone of the opposite sex alone, you'd always go in you know, if you're, if you're not married, you'd go in with someone else. You know, someone that could be honest. Chaperone, courting or dating is a new cultural invention. It's been around for some time in Western European culture. That's just fine. But we do have to keep things biblical. Your purpose is not just having fun dating this one, then dating that one, jumping from person to person. Your purpose in dating is to discern the will of the Lord to the end that you're going to decide upon. Marriage dating isn't what the world considers it in, in the world. They, they're dating. They may decide to shack up together live together. They may, they have sex together. They do all these things together that are only limited to husband and wife.
For us, we look at dating, and it's probably better to refer to it as courtship, because you're there, you're not touching, you're not kissing, you're not holding hands, you're not going into rooms alone. If you're doing, if you're going out on a, a date, it would be in public. So people could see, and you're not engaging in any kind of touching or kissing or hugging or any of these things. So your purpose in dating or courtship is to discern the will of the Lord to the end. That you know who you are going to decide to marry. The world dates and jumps from person to person. We, we should not do that. That if you're dating life as a message believer is categori categorized by doing that, then I think you need to take a step back, stop dating and find out who you are in Christ.
Find out what God's plan is for your life in the near future, but also in the big picture when it comes to courting. Your parents should be involved in it. You know, obviously if you're older and you're not married yet and so forth. Yes, it's a little bit different situation, but I would recommend if your parents are around, that your parents should be involved in it. And especially in the younger ages, a young man needs to speak with the young lady's parents before pursuing even courtship. Remember, the purpose of courting is to discern the will of the Lord for marriage. Now, in scriptural culture, the marriage was arranged by the fathers, and then the couple was not to even touch each other until the wedding day, even though they were considered as husband and wife and fr from engagement, if they were to engage in sex before the wedding, it was considered fornication. It was a sin.
So is kissing before marriage acceptable for young message believers, no kissing before marriage is not acceptable. Brother Brandham says in the message, questions and answers, in October 15th, 1961, each human being male and female have a different type of gland. A female has a female gland, sex gland. A male has a male gland, sex gland, and those glands lay in the human lips. That's right. And here's another thing might be brought up, man, kissing one another in the mouth. That's dirty, that's filth. And what does it do? Starts homosexual. Stay away from that. A guy asked me not long ago, said, brother Braham, why? They greeted one another with a holy kiss. They kissed on the back of the neck, fell upon their neck, and kissed them on the back of the neck. That was before handshake. Come in. It's a greeting. That's the way it is.
They didn't shake one another's hands. They put on their arms around another and kissed one another on the back of the neck, not on the lips, on the face. It's, that starts a perversion. Stay away from it. Don't never do that. Nowadays, we shake hands with one another. You got your arm around your brother and kiss him on the neck, or he kisses you on the neck. That's all right. But don't you kiss that woman, don't you let that woman kiss you see? That's right. You take her by the hand, say, wait a minute, sister. Just a minute here, let's get this straight. And so now you do that in the sermon presence of God unrecognized. June 18th, 1964, brother Brandham says, when no man should ever kiss a woman until he is married to her, that's male and female glands crossing, let it be, whatever it may be.
It's wrong. It's potentially a sex act. Sex act when male and female glands touch, it's a sex act and it's made a man kiss a man in the mouth. It would make him vomit. Or a woman, a woman, or it should. Anyways, why is it different? It's a sex act, potentially. That's right. A type of Christ kissing his bride. See from the Song of Solomon, you should never do that. But look at it today. All these movies and things, and one big conglomeration of kissing and hugging, and it's absolutely almost public adultery everywhere. And the people's so blind, they don't see it, right? Everything is an as sodom condition, sodomite everywhere. As the Bible said in the Bible times, any touching prior to marriage was forbidden. And I'm just gonna speak to you directly. I would avoid any touching prior to engagement. But once engagement starts, it's fine to hold hands, but the general principle is to avoid compromising situations and to avoid hugging, kissing, cuddling, touching, et cetera as an engaged couple.
You're committed to one another, but you haven't been joined in marriage yet. And any kind of fornication still needs to be avoided. And to do that, you need to put a guard around yourself and around avoiding fornication. Don't go into private rooms together. Don't be alone in a home or in places where you can be compromised. Avoid it. Should I date another question? Should I date a nominal Christian? This comes up and you see many message believers start to date young people from their schools that that they go to, whether it be a Christian school or a public school, or young people, they meet in the community, perhaps here in a church that doesn't have a lot of people, a lot of young people around the Bible says, be not unequally yoked together with un believers for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness and what communion has light with darkness.
Another way to say unequally yoked is don't team up. Don't team up with unbelievers. That's what yoked means. It speaks. This is speaking of marriage and courtship. If you wanna stay a message believer, then you should avoid dating non-med believers. Your life will be simpler and easier if you stick to this plan. You'll serve yourself a lifetime of heartache and frustration if you stick to dating relationships with message believers. Now, I know there's been a number of people that said, Hey, that's how I came to the message was through this person, okay? And that, that is now my spouse. That's fine. But that's the exception to the rule. And the reality is there's a lot of boundaries and borders. That person as a message believer trying to witness, the other person should have. There should be no consideration of marriage until that person is fully converted, and there should really shouldn't be any serious consideration of truly courting one another until that person has been fully converted.
You don't want someone just converting because they want to get into bed with you. I'm sorry to be so plain, but sometimes a young man can go through the motions of being converted because he wants to mar marry you and get in bed with you, and then after that, he doesn't care and he is finished and you've ruined, you've ruined your life, all right? Because that's a disaster. Now, make sure it's a real and genuine. Don't be deceived. Make sure your parents are involved and understand, even make sure that your pastor is involved and he's helping you through this process of leading this person to the truth in the sermon. Be certain of God. January 25th, 1959, brother Banham says, you see, Ahab was reigning in Israel at the time or over Israel, and he was the wickedest of all the kings of Israel. There had been no king as wicked as Ahab, for he being taught and know better. He failed not to continue to displease God in everything that he did, although he had a great military system and the people had become very prosperous under his reign. But yet you cannot displease God and expect to get by very long.
And then in his wedding, instead of marrying among his own people, he went over and married a sinner, an idolatry worshiper of idols. He married Jezebel and she was not a believer. And no believer should air ever marry an unbeliever under no circumstances, should always marry believers. But a have done this evil thing and no doubt, but what Jezebel was a beautiful woman and he had fell for what she looked like instead of what she was. That so many people make the same mistake to this day. And she had brought idolatry in the nation among the people and the people, the priests, their ministers had fell victim to this great popular demand. And it's the very picture of our country today. We have fallen under the popular demand. No doubt that the priest thought it would be all right as long as they're government located, but I don't care what the government okays, it's got to be what God okays.
And the people thought that it would be all right if they anticipate or participated in some of their worldly things. Again, you, you, you might have a thousand excuses not to obey God's word. And you say, there's not many message believers around here. What am I supposed to do? Wait upon the Lord. Go to some, go to some youth camps. Go to some special meetings, visit some churches. Ask your parents about this. Speak to them and, and get them to be involved in helping you to get out and meet other message believers. The point here is don't dis don't make excuses to disobey God's word. Don't say, I'm gonna, I'm gonna win. I'm gonna disobey God's word in order to win this person to Christ. That's not how it works. You obey God's word and then God will open the door for them to come to Christ.
But walk in obedience. Don't walk in disobedience. 99% of the time when a person gets in a relationship with someone who is not a believer, they end up falling down to the level of the unbeliever. That's how it what happens, and it's gonna mess up your life. All right, next question I have here. Is it okay for sisters to wear cover up? This is a slippery slope, and I know I've seen it. This is a hard one cuz they see many sisters wearing coverup. I don't know the source of why people think that is okay to do. I love you. I love you all, and you're all precious to me. And I'm not trying to speak down to anyone by any means, but I don't find any place in the message that Brother Braham says it's okay to wear a coverup. In fact, I see the opposite.
Here is a quote from a wedding supper. October 4th, 1956, after the message last night, a poor sister come to him, said, you know what? She said, I've been using pancake makeup for a long time to hide pimples on my face, but said, when that preacher got through last night, I went and washed my face. That's right. God bless you, sister. You're not far from the kingdom. Yes, brother, get back to the old hewing line. I don't believe, I don't believe it is okay to wear any kind of makeup, including coverup and any other kind of makeup, eye makeup I don't even remember what it's called, but rouge, all these different things. Brother Brandham speaks clearly about lipstick, about eye makeup, about coverup, about the coloring stuff that you put on your cheeks, whatever it is. I, it's called rouge, but it's not that called Dad anymore.
I don't I'm messing that up. But anyways, none of these things are acceptable. Brother Banham speaks very clearly over and over again about the sisters having a clear, clean face. And that's what that's what needs to happen. That's what needs to be done. Take care of yourself you know, get the best products to wa wash and clean your face and, and make it clear and clean and do, do the best you can and get the right supplements and drink enough water and, you know take care of yourself. Certainly the scripture speaks about that, but don't disobey God's word in order to bring a result for yourself. The devil is handing sisters a bunch of nonsense and garbage to live by. Remember, beauty lies in character. It doesn't mean we don't take care of ourselves. It doesn't mean we don't dress nice and, and look, try to look our best.
Certainly we do, but we don't do that by disobeying God's word. First. We put our love and relationship with Jesus Christ. We put that first before we put anything else. Amen. All right. So social media, should I avoid it altogether or should I use social media as is common amongst everyone? Now, I, I see social media cell phones, iPads, laptops, televisions I don't even know. There's, there's probably other ways. I see all those things as being connected to the things that Brother Braham speaks about entertainment and the television, you know, and Brother Braham says in some places better take a shotgun to it. And in other places he says, it depends on what you use it for. And I think, I think we've reached a place where we understand in maturity is it depends on what you use it for.
And so you can use we call 'em a television, but most of us are simply using apps on a large screen in our home. And whether it be that or on a, an iPad like we have here, or it be on your phone your iPhone like you have here whatever format that might be at is you have to be wise and careful about what you're using it for. Okay? So what are you using it for? What is your purpose? Of course you'd say it's communication. I am communicating with people about life beating up, hanging out, sharing pictures, et cetera. I use Instagram in order to share pictures and see what's going on in my friend's lives. Okay? You know, those, those things are fine. But also remember there's things that go beyond, beyond that and behind that, that's where some of my notes come in.
Sorry for the ruffling, but this is I want to read this article here from a website and I'm trying to see what, I'm trying to remember what reps the website I got this from. It speaks a lot about technology that says just say yes.org. I don't know what it's all about. But anyways, how social media affects teens with the rise of social media. Being a teenager today is tougher than any parent could ever imagine. And the landscape of social media is ever changing An article by time, time speaking of Time Magazine titled Teen Depression and Anxiety, why the Kids Are Not All Right States. It's hard for many adults to understand how much of teenagers emotional life is lived within the small screens of on their phones. The article also quotes on an American teen named Faith Ann, who says, we're the first generation that cannot escape our problems at all. We're all like little volcanoes. We're getting this constant pressure from our phones, from our relationships, from the way things are today.
How many teens use social media, the landscape of social media is ever changing, especially among teens who often are on the leading edge of this space. A new Pew Research Center Survey of American teenagers, ages 13 to 17 years old, finds that 95% of teens have access to a smartphone. The top five online platforms used by teens are YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook. 36, 30 6% of teens say they spend too much time on social media. Well, my comment would be, so do adults, many adults, positive effects of social media on teens. Let's face it, the reality is that the internet and social media are not going anywhere anytime soon. It's important to remember that teens experience social media in various ways, which means it's not always negative. A recent healthline.com article quotes Jacqueline Halburn, director of SOAR program at Washington Behavioral Medicine Associates. Social media use increased during the pandemic for many young people.
In many cases, it became the primary source of social connection for tweens and teens who are otherwise unable to socialize with their friends. Helper notes that social media can have multiple benefits for young people, all of which can be empowering, entertaining, and social. These include connecting to others with similar interests, learning about new topics and hobbies, building identity, encouraging social and political engagement, and learning about others dangers of social media for teens. For some parents, the thought of social media or anything to do with technology for that matter, is a terrifying subject to, to discuss with their teens. That's why a campaign called Wait Until Eighth, has Parents Across the Nation banding together to delay giving their children a smart phone until at least eighth grade.
There are various factors why social media negatively affects teens. According to an article on very well family.com, for many tweens and teens, social media can become almost addictive. Not almost it is addictive. In a study by researchers at the UCLA Brain Mapping Center, they found that certain regions of teen brains become activated by likes on social media, sometimes causing them to want to use social media more. It's exactly what social media does, it likes and comments and messages pro provide a dopamine hit making it defacto addicting. The article also states undoubtedly, social networking plays a vital role in broadening teen social connections and helping them learn valuable technical skills. But one, IM What impact is all this social networking having on young teen minds? Most reports indicate that the impact can be significant. Not only are teens developing brains vulnerable to so much time online, but because they often have difficulty self-regulating their screen time, their risks can increase with the more time they spend.
Additionally, they are more susceptible to peer pressure, cyber bullying, and sexting all activities involving digital communication, making, navigating the online social world treacherous at all times. Social media also comes with lots of risks according to healthline.com article, including fear, fear of missing out, exposure to inappropriate, upsetting, or even traumatic content, access to inaccurate information, exposure to online predators exposure, exposure to cyber bullying. A recent Express VPN survey, 1500 Gen Z Americans reveals the extent of this generation's social media fixation survey found that 86% of those ages 16 to 24 years old reported that social media directly negatively impact their happiness, impacts their happiness. Additional results include the following. 85% reported negative effects on self-esteem. 85% reported negative effects on self-image. 83% reported an increase in anxiety. 81% reported an increase in loneliness. 79% reported an increase in depression. How parents can help manage social media use.
All right, most parents don't realize that their own voice is the strongest influence in their child's life. Healthline.Com article says, by starting a simple conversation with your kids around social media and you find that they're already thinking about it. That means you can step into provide encouragement, support in a listening ear. Here are five ways you can manage your family's social media. Find balance. It's vital for young people to find a balance between the online, online world and the real world. And parents can lead by example, model appropriate screen time and social media wor use real world activities, encourage kids and teen to engage in activities with families and friends in the real world. Create phone free zones. Designate a place or two in the home that's a hundred percent phone free. Can be the dinner table or it can be the living room, however you want to do that.
Also make it a game. Rather than penalizing kids for too much social media use, you can incentivize them to use less With tracking apps like social fever and stay free, you can see how much time you and your family spend on social media. And you can offer rewards to fam make it like a co a competition. You can offer rewards. Whoever has the least time on social media gets to choose a family outing or gets to choose some kind of award that you would designate. That way you're kind of ma making it positive. Also, take a time to fast from social media, detox from it. Say we're gonna go without social media for a week or a month, or however you want to do that. And replace it with going for walks, playing board games, doing puzzles, doing cooking meals together. Different things that you do together as a family.
The other part of that is teen depression on the rise. Since the advent of social media I'm not gonna read this article, but it is very clear that teens are more depressed than they were prior to the advent of social media. It's a very terrible thing. Parents know the communication that is happening on your children's smartphones. Should we get rid of smartphones? I don't believe that we're going to get rid of smartphones, and I've seen families that, that ban them or don't allow them to use it until they're 18 plus. I think that's fine. However, I would would warn, and it would be great if you were the person that was training them in on how to use it. So perhaps prior to that eighth grade seems like a great timing for that. But you know, my, my kids have been worn from the time that they're little about social media and you know, my, my 14 year old, we've, once he turned 13, we got her a phone, but we monitor everything that's on it.
Monitor conversations and you know, she's, she's on WhatsApp for communicating with people from church. She's on another chatting texting app called Signal to Chat with family back in Minnesota. But we haven't, we just haven't allowed any, anything like TikTok or Instagram or Facebook or anything like that. I feel like it's just a very damaging thing and young people should wait until they're quite a bit older to get on those things. Instagram that we haven't allowed any social media, I think that's a good plan. Parents although, you know, each situation would be different and it would require wisdom and prayer and all of them, but the main thing is be involved. Talk with your, talk with your young pe your your children. Be involved with them. Know what they're doing on their phones. Know what they're doing on social media and help and train them to, to use it.
We're not gonna get away from this. It would be wonderful if we could. Some, there's some good things, some wonderful things about smartphones, social media, but all in all is we have to be mindful of how it's being used and it's our duty as parents to train our children on how to use these things without damaging our own, li our lives and hurting ourselves. So I think I've went really long on this time. I've got some more things to cover, which we'll do in the coming weeks. Talking about issues that are, are for young people. I really don't feel like I've brought a good closure to the issue of social media. So I'm gonna do some more studying and research about that. And we'll speak more about it next time and we're gonna go into a few other questions as we move forward. I'm just trying to see here if yes, okay. Yeah, we have quite a bit more to cover for issues for young people. So thanks for listening in. God bless. Thank you for listening to Equipping the Bride podcast. New episodes are posted every Friday. I wanna remind you that if you have any questions, testimonies, or prayer requests, please let me know@jasondemars.com. I also have free books and tracks available at my website, and shipping is free as well. Please, I ask you to remember the believers and the missions work in the Middle East in prayer, may the Lord richly bless you.