The Hozone Lair - podcast cover

The Hozone Lair

Justin Hosey & Carrie Danielspodcasters.spotify.com
The point of this show is to bring the county fair to your doorstep. Are you feeling down and out? Maybe your life has become stale and that four-story leap to freedom seems more and more tempting by the day. Well, fret no more, we are here to bring back the confidence that you thought was gone forever. Do we do this by words of encouragement and affirmations? Hell no, we just show you our true colors, and that's bound to make anyone feel better about themselves. Tune in and laugh at us you idiots, you deserve a break from being laughed at yourself!
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Episodes

Carter the Centaur

In this week's episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by the most guest ever recorded in the Hozone. Topics discussed range from an Alien invasion (atmosphere not border) to a donkey dicked boy named Ryan George. Listen to this episode so you will understand the upcoming pedo charges that the only female present will incur. Everyone involved had a grand old time even if it results in future therapy. Tune in and learn why middle age women should never have a youthful buffet at their finger tips. We...

Jun 22, 20231 hr 26 minSeason 3Ep. 1

Smashlynn

In this episode, Hosey and Carrie are joined by a super fan and a super hussy. Jodie is back for her second round and she brought her crotch goblin along. We learn that one of the only people not put off by Hosey's endowment is his sister and she is not afraid to admit it. Ashlynn protects her identity by telling all of her secretes and Carrie shows that she is still a kid at heart while discussing which flavor of fruit roll-up she wants to slurp by the foot. The hosts are also joined by a big b...

Jun 01, 20231 hr 17 min

Flat Earth or Smooth Brain?

In this week's episode, the original guest bailed so Hosey and Carrie were forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel, and no it's not another Jesse episode. Interestingly enough, these self-invited guests have never been on the show before! Prepare yourself for the pecker pickling pair Peter and Penelope. Yes, those are the names that they chose. In addition to the dynamic duo, Hosey has to remind Carrie about a heartfelt, invigorating conversation she didn't know she had. Lastly but certainly n...

May 04, 20231 hr 7 min

Siamese Strike

In this week's episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by a guest that needs no introduction as well as a friend to set the record straight. Jesse informs everyone that he has never been depressed except for the times when he was and apparently cocks have dicks. Topics in this episode range from, well depression to chicken dicks pretty well sums it up. Join them while they make adult decisions whilst acting like children. Live, Laugh Love, and Losers.

Apr 07, 20231 hr 30 minSeason 2Ep. 15

Chillin with the Chitlins

Hello Homens, in the week's episode Carrie and Hosey are joined by 5 separate guests. To avoid the absolute chaos of 6 idiots and Hosey yelling over each other, the show is broken down into three segments. Listeners will get an inside look at the future Hosey's that will rule the world and Carries kids. Carrie gets bamboozled by beans and chokes down a shot that reminds her of the good old days. Sorry, we're late but good things take time and apparently bad things take even longer. Turn on, tune...

Mar 24, 20231 hr 40 minSeason 2Ep. 14

Seven Sexens in Heaven

In this week's episode, Hosey talks, A LOT. Carrie shows us what a brain on drugs looks like and the hosts discuss important issues ranging from guardian angels to poop plugs. Carrie fantasizes about the 3rd man syndrome but once again, she is severely disappointed; luckily, she has become accustomed to it. Carrie also screams “oh God” at church for all the wrong reasons. Join them as they play some fun games and see if you can come up with some better answers. They discuss "wokeness" and displa...

Mar 02, 20231 hr 26 minSeason 2Ep. 13

Stoner Boner Cousin Fuckers

In this week's episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by two guests that are related... We will let you hear the dirty details on your own. There is another prank call that falls flat on its face and Carrie lets her inner voice be heard. There is an interesting conversation about dual identities when those identities are both within one entity. Also, dick jokes. Listen in you idiots, we like the way you think.

Feb 17, 20231 hr 5 min

Freaky Friday

In this week's episode, the hosts speak about their time away from the podcast and the quality time they had yelling profanities at their parents on airplanes. Hosey speaks to a vernina, or varina maybe vageria, (why do people name their kids after words they found in the urban dictionary) and she denies aunt Bernice a table at their fine establishment. Be forewarned that Carrie wrote the outline for this episode, all the suckiness that follows is directly her fault. If you lose interest within ...

Feb 02, 20231 hr 25 minSeason 2Ep. 11

Allegedly

In this week's episode, the hosts have a guest that deserves a Netflix documentary made after them, or perhaps an episode of Snapped. Hosey does his best to reign in the chaos but Carrie makes more messes and doesn't clean them up. The episode ranges from a therapy session to confessions of felonies (allegedly), This one is hard to describe so you might as well as tune in and make sense of it yourself, if you laugh you're going to hell; we'll save you a seat. (PS, everyone in this episode is pre...

Dec 16, 20221 hr 47 minSeason 2Ep. 10

Bryan Hosey

In this week's episode, Carrie decided to do drugs, and she shows it. " Crack is wack" - Whitney Houston. PS our guest is a criminal who will remain unnamed.

Dec 01, 20221 hr 24 minSeason 2Ep. 9

Daisy Dukes

In this week's episode, the Hozone is breached by an old friend of the hosts. Carrie does her best to be canceled and Hosey is a big-nosed bitch. The guest and hosts go on to show that they are not as young as they think. The blood gets flowing as they express their utter excitement over bargain stores and quality vacuums. Hosey explains how to slay some pussy cats and an honorable mention is commemorated by a dick-shaped tombstone. This episode covers topics from the existence of God to regurgi...

Nov 11, 20221 hr 28 minSeason 2Ep. 8

Never Bring Squirt to a Party

Due to unforeseen technical drunkenness, this episode is a week late (I'm sure you noticed). In this week's episode Carrie and Hosey and joined by a lifelong fan! The hosts discuss many high-brow stories and Carrie gets into a question for the ages. Hosey reflects on his roots and possibly discovers the precursor to his position as the black sheep of his family. Tune in and laugh idiots, we're merely the soup kitchen dishing up high-quality content for you bums. Well, maybe not "high-quality" bu...

Nov 03, 20221 hr 14 min

Flashed and Flustered

In this (bi) weekly episode (no offense Carrie) the host are joined by some longtime friends. We decided to not video this episode because one of our guests apparently aspires of going places. Not sure what she is doing hanging out with us degenerates, but we were lucky enough to snag her. We are blessed with another Dan story and Hosey speaks about his 15 min of fame on MTV's True Life: "I'm an embarrassing piece of shit"; Matt doesn't hesitate to make sure that every beautiful detail is includ...

Oct 13, 20221 hr 20 minSeason 2Ep. 5

From Four Way to Gay in One Day

In this week's episode, the hosts take a few trips down memory lane and hit a dead end. Hosey brings some emotion to the episode and Carrie demonstrates her sensitivity. There is a basic bitch white girl shot and we hear a story about one man's descent into the unknown, by unknown we mean a finger in the butt. Carrie's father whispers sweet nothings into her ear and shows off his unmentionables to minors. Join in on the fun and let go of your problems. Decent into the Hozone Lair and laugh along...

Sep 29, 20221 hr 9 minSeason 2Ep. 4

The Reece Show

In this weeks(ish) episode, Hosey and Carrie are joined by a super fan! They have modified the recording process which allows for additional segments and the future possibilities are endless! Move over dick jokes, here come dick pics! Hosey has determined that most people do not listen to the full episodes let alone read this silly bullshit, so fuck off homans. Gibberish blah me fuck-stick, enjoy this previously recorded cuntent. Good day

Sep 20, 20221 hr 2 minSeason 3Ep. 3

Certifiably Certifiable

In this week's episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by the final Ballard brother and Carrie sees a little Sr in the making. They name a drink that should not be named and discuss the corruption of the future generation. Lucas talks about buttholes and Hosey informs Carrie that planets exist. While this may not be the funniest episode, it is one of the deepest. With that being said, we want to offer our deepest condolences for not bringing you the regular smut that you freaks tune in for. Rest ea...

Aug 28, 20221 hr 20 minSeason 2Ep. 2

Stomach Sucker

Hello homens, did you miss us? Well f-u you, we didn't miss you either. If you did happen to miss us, don't fret your little heart, this episode will definitely make you wonder why you ever did. We decided to try a little different format and it was super organized, as you are about to hear. Carrie and Hosey share a bit about their break from the podcast and the adventures that they went on during their time away. Carrie gets a rose that has a funny smell and an intruder invades the Hozone at th...

Aug 11, 20221 hr 26 minSeason 2Ep. 1

I'm not gay, but...

In this week's episode Carrie was too busy hoeing around to even make an appearance. Luckily, Hosey was joined by a few guests so the show could go on! While there was an outline for this episode, it quickly runs off the rails and goes way over the allotted time. Due to this unforeseen, unfortunate success, we had to break it into two parts. In the 1st part, Dave informs us repetedly that he isn't gay and then proceeds to contradict himself for half the show. He tells a wonderful story about Jes...

Jun 08, 20221 hr 15 minSeason 1Ep. 17

What are you? Drunk!?

In this episode, Carrie and Hosey fly solo again but are surprised by two call-in guests. Carrie is informed by her family that they love her slutty ways and Hosey cuts it. The hosts play pick your poison and both end up dead. Hosey's dad plays a reverse UNO card that does not end well. The show is closed out by Carrie's peaks and words of affirmation between the hosts. We will be taking this week off to enjoy family and the holiday weekend. We will return next week with a guest, hopefully, they...

May 25, 20221 hr 2 minSeason 1Ep. 16

Kissing Cousins

In today's episode, Carrie and Hosey take a break from guests due to scheduling conflicts and Carrie being a mean, scary old bitch. The hosts play a game of pick your poison and Carrie admits to a crush that is forbidden outside of the bible belt. They read about some embarrassing moments and give a big shout-out to Their number one Fan. This episode is brought to you, in part, by my AA.

May 18, 20221 hr 9 minSeason 1Ep. 15

Mic Dropped

Hello folks, If this episode sounds like a chopped and screwed Paul Wall album we apologize. We were having some technical difficulties that were resolved in the 2nd half of the show. Unfortunately, It took two hours to find a resolution so our technical difficulties turned into drunkical difficulties. Lessons were learned from this episode, both about technology and sobriety. Carrie and Hosey were Joined by Mike and Ken and it was determined that we need to have a bouncer present from here on o...

May 11, 20221 hr 29 minSeason 1Ep. 14

Apology Tour

The title of this episode says it all. Obviously, it is not the infallible Hosey who is apologizing, no no no! It is of course the jesters that surround him, or in this case, chose not to. While the three stooges stand Carrie and Hosey up, the hosts are still here to bring you your weekly dose of whatever the fuck it is that you're about to listen to. Fret not, Carrie is here to ask for your forgiveness for last week's antics, even though she doesn't really remember committing them. Unfortunatel...

May 03, 202255 minSeason 1Ep. 13

Drink, Drank, Jessied

Yeah, this episode is being published late. Not because it was recorded late, not because some big life changing experience came into my life. This episode is late simply because I am a worthless piece of shit and forgot to post it. With that being said, I want to apologize further for being a drunk asshole during the episode. Ok, I think I made myself sound good enough by this point. This episode will make you feel better about yourself. Laugh at us you idiots, you don't really deserve it but w...

Apr 26, 20221 hr 7 minSeason 1Ep. 12

Knuckles Deep

Here we are, episode 11, and absolutely no dignity left. Well, why stop now? In this week's episode, Carrie realizes that she was Me Too'd mid-sentence, does anyone know that the statute of limitations is in Wyoming? She also speaks about her serial killer tendencies as well as her path to redemption. Hosey's back with another pet peeve and an onslaught of self-deprecation. The lesson this week is that sometimes there isn't water hot enough to rinse off all the shame. Tune in and laugh at us you...

Apr 19, 20221 hr 17 minSeason 1Ep. 11

Momma's Boy

Hello fellow fookers, please join the SURGE of people that are tuning in to feel better about themselves. In this episode we add a segment called clueless Carrie, I mean curious Carrie where we answer the deep existential questions that we all ponder. We are not joined by a guest but have mastered the ability to have remote guests! We play "am I the asshole" where the answer is always yes. Listen in for a "Florida man" story as well as a vacation story that will leave you sucking your thumb, at ...

Apr 05, 202250 minSeason 1Ep. 10

Cosbied

In this episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by Maddie (Carries niece) and a mystery audience member. They take a Tik Tok shot and talk about their virality. They play a game of "how many beers" Where they determine how many beers it would take to smash their friends. Join in on the fun and see if they would bang you. Duane calls in to give his version of the Walmart beat down. Tune in and laugh at us, you deserve it.

Mar 28, 20221 hr 11 minSeason 1Ep. 10

Pull Out Game

In this episode Carrie and Hosey play a game that involves offering some eggplant to a stranger and that gentleman demonstrates a pure soul, so obviously they laugh at him. Carrie tells a story about being assaulted by a man while Hosey laughs profusely. Hear a heart wrenching story about a game of tug a war between a skank and a sphincter as well as Hosey waking up in a hotel room that appears to be a murder scene. We promise that the phone call quality will continue to get better as we get our...

Mar 22, 20221 hr 1 minSeason 1Ep. 8

Cooter Stank

In this episode, Hosey and the hoe go without a guest. They are still waiting to get the results of their STD test after being in the same room as their previous guest. Carrie has a queef stroke and clears the air, I mean the room. Ooh-ooh that smell, Can't ya smell that smell, Ooh-ooh that smell, The smell of cooter surrounds you. They discuss some unanswerable questions and Carrie talks about being in the illuminati, but we know she means the alluminutty. Tune in and laugh at us, you deserve i...

Mar 15, 202256 minSeason 1Ep. 7

Deprecating Day Drinking

In this episode Carrie and Hosey are joined by a day drinking deplorable. We discuss the finer things in life and by finer things we mean Hosey's wife of course. Jesse's in love with a stripper and Carrie is a freak that leaks. Make sure that nobody is around because they will judge you for listening to this filth. Tune in and laugh at us, you deserve it.

Mar 07, 20221 hr 28 minSeason 1Ep. 6

Meshing with Methheads

In this episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by their fat biker friend Ken. He talks about his 1st sexual experience (the title is a spoiler) and many of his sexual endeavors that followed. Hosey nearly dies from a case of the hyenas and Carrie lets Ken in on a BIG secrete. To close the episode we are joined by a special guest who tells us about his search for something dear to him. Buckle up Homens, this is a bumpy ride.

Mar 01, 20221 hr 26 minSeason 1Ep. 5
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