Greetings. Tis I, the Headless Horseman. Welcome to a very special five-part Halloween presentation from Gen Z Media. If you liked listening to The Hollow, then you probably know it was based on The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. a short story written by Washington Irving, 200 years ago. It is one of the most famous scary stories of all time. We present it here as an audiobook in its original text. A warning to all mortals. What you're about to hear is a tale from 1820.
Many things have changed in our culture since then. You're going to hear some outdated language, some outdated gender roles, and references to things like corporal punishment in schools and bullying behavior. Also, it's kinda scary. Listener discretion. Among the musical disciples who assembled one evening in each week to receive his instructions in psalmody was Katrina Van Tassel. Hello, Lady Van Tassel. The daughter and only child of a substantial Dutch farmer. Oh, my.
She was, withal, a little of a coquette, as might be perceived even in her dress, which was a mixture of ancient and modern fashions, as most suited to set off her charms. She wore the ornaments of pure yellow gold, which her great-great-grandmother had brought over from Sardam, the tempting stomacher of the olden time, and with all a provokingly short petticoat.
to display the prettiest foot and ankle in the country round. Ichabod Crane had a soft and foolish heart, and it is not to be wondered at that so tempting a morsel soon found favor in his eyes. More especially after he had visited her in her paternal mansion. Old Baltus Van Tassel was a perfect picture of a thriving, contented, liberal-hearted farmer. He seldom...
It is true, sent either his eyes or his thoughts beyond the boundaries of his own farm, but within those, everything was snug, happy, and well-conditioned.
He was satisfied with his wealth, but not proud of it, and piqued himself upon the hearty abundance rather than the style in which he lived. His stronghold was situated on the banks of the Hudson, In one of those green, sheltered, fertile nooks in which the Dutch farmers are so fond of nestling, a great elm tree spread its broad branches over it.
at the foot of which bubbled up a spring of the softest and sweetest water in a little well formed of a barrel, and then stole sparkling away through the grass to a neighboring brook. that babbled along among alders and dwarf willows. Hard by the farmhouse was a vast barn that might have served for a church, every window and crevice of which seemed
bursting forth with the treasures of the farm. The flail was busily resounding within it from morning to night. Swallows and martens skimmed, twittering about the eaves. and rows of pigeons some with one eye turned up as if watching the weather some with their heads under their wings or buried in their bosoms and others swelling and cooing and bowing about their dames
were enjoying the sunshine up on the roof. Sleek, unwieldy porkers were grunting in the repose and abundance of their pens from whence sallied forth now and then troops of suckling pigs. as if to snuff the air. A stately squadron of snowy geese were riding in an adjoining pond, convoying whole fleets of ducks.
Regiments of turkeys were gobbling through the farmyard, and guinea fells fretting about it like ill-tempered housewives with their peevish, discontented cry. Before the barn door strutted the gallant cock. That pattern of a husband, a warrior, and a fine gentleman, clapping his burnished wings and crowing in the pride and gladness of his heart, sometimes tearing up the earth with his feet and then...
generously calling his ever-hungry family of wives and children to enjoy the rich morsel which he had discovered. The pedagogue's mouth watered. As he looked upon this sumptuous promise of luxurious winter fare, in his devouring mind's eye, he pictured to himself, Every roasting pig running about with a pudding in his belly and an apple in his mouth. The pigeons were snugly put to bed in a comfortable pie and tucked in with a coverlet of crust.
The geese were swimming in their own gravy, and the ducks pairing cozily in dishes, like snug married couples with a decent competency of onion sauce. In the porkers, He saw carved out the future sleek side of bacon and juicy relishing ham. Not a turkey, but he beheld taintily trussed up with its gizzard under its wing and peradventure a necklace of savory sausages.
And even bright Chanticleer himself lay sprawling on his back in a side dish with uplifted claws, as if craving that quarter which his chivalrous spirit disdained to ask while living.
as the enraptured Ichabod fancied all this, and as he rolled his great green eyes over the fat meadowlands, the rich fields of wheat, of rye of buckwheat and indian corn and the orchards burdened with ruddy fruit which surrounded the warm tenement of van tassel His heart yearned after the damsel who was to inherit these domains. And his imagination expanded with the idea how they might be readily turned into cash, and the money invested in immense tracts of wild land.
shingle palaces in the wilderness Nay, his busy fancy already realized his hopes and presented to him the blooming Katrina with a whole family of children mounted on top of a wagon loaded with household trumpery with pots and kettles dangling beneath and... beheld himself bestriding a pacing mare with a colt at her heels setting out for Kentucky, Tennessee, or the Lord knows where. When he entered the house, the conquest of his heart was complete.
It was one of those spacious farmhouses with high-ridged but lowly sloping roofs, built in the style handed down from the first Dutch settlers. The low projecting eaves forming a piazza along the front, capable of being closed up in bad weather. Under this were hung flails, harnesses, various utensils of husbandry and nets for fishing in the neighboring river. Benches were built along the sides for summer use.
and a great spinning wheel at one end and a churn at the other showed the various uses to which this important porch might be devoted. From this piazza, the wandering Ichabod entered the hall. which formed the center of the mansion and the place of usual residence. Here rows of resplendent pewter ranged on a long dresser dazzled his eyes. In one corner stood a huge bag of wool.
ready to be spun. In another, a quantity of Lindsay Woolsey just from the loom. Ears of Indian corn and strings of dried apples and peaches hung in gay festoons along the walls, mingled with a gaud of red peppers. And a door, left ajar, gave him a peep into the best parlor, where the claw-footed chairs and dark mahogany tables shone like mirrors.
Andirons with their accompanying shovel and tongs glistened from their covert of asparagus tops. Mock oranges and conch shells decorated the mantelpiece. Strings of various colored birds' eggs were suspended above it. A great ostrich egg was hung from the center of the room, and a corner cupboard, knowingly left open, displayed immense treasures of old silver and well-mended china from the moment ichabod laid his eyes upon these regions of delight
The peace of his mind was at an end. And his only study was how to gain the affections of the peerless daughter of Van Tassel. In this enterprise, however, He had more real difficulties than generally fell to the lot of a knight errant of yore, who seldom had anything but giants, enchanters, fiery dragons, and such like easily conquered adversaries to contend with.
and had to make his way merely through the gates of iron and brass and walls of adamant to the castle keep, where the lady of his heart was confined, all which he achieved as easily as a man would carve his way to the center of a Christmas pie. And then the lady gave him her hand as a matter of course. Ichabod, on the contrary, had to win his way to the heart of a country coquette.
beset with a labyrinth of whims and caprices, which were forever presenting new difficulties and impediments. And he had to encounter a host of fearful adversaries of real flesh and blood. the numerous rustic admirers who beset every portal to her heart, keeping a watching and angry eye upon each other, but ready to fly out in the common cause against any. new competitor. Among these, the most formidable was a burly, roaring, roistering blade of the name of Abraham, or
According to the Dutch abbreviation, Braum van Brunt. The hero of the country round. which rang with his feats of strength and hardihood. He was broad-shouldered and double-jointed with short curly black hair and a bluff but not unpleasant countenance. From his Herculean frame and great powers of limb, he had received the nickname of Brom Bones, by which he was universally known. He was famed for great knowledge and skill in horsemanship, being as dexterous on horseback as a tartar.
He was always ready for either a fight or a frolic, but had more mischief than ill-will in his composition, and with all his overbearing roughness, There was a strong dash of waggish good humor at Bottom. He had three or four boon companions who regarded him as their model, and at the head of whom he scoured the country, attending every scene of feud or merriment for miles around. In cold weather, he was distinguished by a fur cap surmounted with a flaunting fox's tail.
And when the folks at a country gathering described this well-known crest at a distance whisking about among the squad of hard riders, they always stood by for a squall. Sometimes his crew would be heard dashing along past the farmhouses at midnight with whoop and a halloo, like a troop of Don Cossacks. And the old dames, startled out of their sleep, would listen for a moment.
till the hurry-scurry had clattered by, and then exclaim, Aye, there goes Brom Bones and his gang. The neighbors looked upon him with a mixture of awe, admiration, and goodwill. And when any madcap prank or rustic brawl occurred in the vicinity, always shook their heads and warranted Brom Bones was at the bottom of it. This rant-a-pole hero had for some time singled out the blooming Katrina for the object of his uncouth gallantries. Goodness! How do you like that, Mr. Ichabod?
And though his amorous twangs were something like the gentle caresses and endearments of a bear, yet it was whispered that she did not altogether discourage his hopes.
Certain it is his advances were signals for rival candidates to retire, who felt no inclination to cross a lion in his amours, insomuch that when his horse was seen tied to Van Tassel's piling, On a Sunday night, a sure sign that his master was courting, or as it is termed, sparking, within, all other suitors passed by in despair and carried the war into other quarters.
Such was the formidable rival with whom Ichabod Crane had to contend. And, considering all things, a stouter man than he would have shrunk from the competition, and a wiser man would have despaired. He had, however, a happy mixture of pliability and perseverance in his nature. He was in form and spirit like a supplejack. yielding, but tough. Though he bent, he never broke. To have taken the field openly against his rival would have been madness.
For he was not a man to be thwarted in his amours any more than that stormy lover Achilles. Ichabod, therefore, made his advances in a quiet... and gently insinuating manner. Here to see the Lady Katrina for her singing lessons. Under cover of his character of singing master, he made frequent visits at the farmhouse. I'll fetch Miss Katrina for you. Not that he had anything to apprehend from the meddlesome interference of parents, which is so often a stumbling block in the path of lovers.
Balt Van Tassel was an easy, indulgent soul. He loved his daughter better even than his pipe. And like a reasonable man and an excellent father, let her have her way in everything. His notable little wife, too, had enough to do to attend to her housekeeping and managing her poultry. For, as she sagely observed, ducks and geese are foolish things and must be looked after, but girls can take care of themselves.
Thus, while the busy dame bustled about the house or plied her spinning wheel at the end of the piazza, honest Balt would sit smoking his evening pipe at the other. Watching the achievements of a little wooden warrior who, armed with a sword in each hand, was most valiantly fighting the wind on the pinnacle of the barn. In the meantime...
Ichabod would carry on his suit with the daughter by the side of the spring under the great elm, or sauntering along in the twilight that hour so favorable to the lover's eloquence. I profess. Not to know how women's hearts are wooed and won. To me, they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but...
one vulnerable point or door of access, while others have a thousand avenues and may be captured on a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but... a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He who wins a thousand common hearts is therefore entitled to some renown, but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette is indeed a hero.
Certain it is, this was not the case with the redoubtable Brombones, and from the moment Ichabod Crane made his advances, the interests of the former evidently declined. His horse was no longer seen tied to the palings on the Sunday night, and a deadly feud gradually arose between him and the preceptor of Sleepy Hollow. Brahm. who had a degree of rough chivalry in his nature, would fain have carried matters to open warfare and have settled their pretensions to the lady.
according to the mode of those most concise and simple reasoners. The night's errand of yore. By single combat. By Ichabod. was too conscious of the superior might of his adversary to enter the lists against him. He had overheard the boast of bones. I'll double that schoolmaster up and I'll lay him on the shelf of his own schoolhouse. And he was too wary to give him an opportunity.
There was something extremely provoking in this obstinately pacific system. It left Brom no alternative but to draw upon the funds of rustic waggery in his disposition. and to play off boorish practical jokes upon his rival. Ichabod became the object of whimsical persecution to Bones and his gang of Rough Riders. They harried his hitherto peaceful domains, Smoked out his singing school by stopping up the chimney.
broke into the schoolhouse at night in spite of its formidable fastenings of withe and window stakes, and turned everything topsy-turvy so that the poor schoolmaster began to think that all the witches in the country held their meetings there. But what was still more annoying, Brom took all opportunities of turning him into ridicule in presence of his mistress. Watch this. Here it comes, boy.
and had a scoundrel dog whom he taught to whine in the most ludicrous manner and introduced as a rival of Ichabod's to instruct her in psalmody. Are you a fan of teen spy action-adventure podcasts? Then you'll love six minutes. But don't take my word for it.
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