The language of the quad was a gift to me because that gave me what I needed. It really allowed me to now start focusing in on those different parts of myself What were they telling me and what what was in pain and why was it in pain? Welcome to Lu Everyday radius. A podcast brought to you by the Hoffman Institute. My name is Liz Sever and on this podcast, you will explore Graduates journeys of self discovery and learn how the process transformed their internal and external worlds.
Please be aware that this episode references, pregnancy loss. Please use your discretion. Hi, everybody. Welcome to today's episode. I am so excited to have Leslie Ko with us. Hello. Me too. So, Lizzie, I know on top of everything you are a Hoffman grad, but you have also had this beautifully indulge long career in
all of these healing modalities. So you started, I know as a special education teacher moved on to personal coaching, you are an e klein assisted coach with a beautiful ranch out in Nevada and most recently an author. With all of those things. It has healing and helping and being with people and seeking the connection and the goodness, has that always been in you from a young age? Well, if from a very young age language was got anything I understood or even used until well into my fifth year.
However, because of that, I got to read people energetically? Do I feel safe? Do I feel comfortable am I heard? And what am I hearing from them? So in a sense, yes, because that became a highly att quality that I have. Therefore, I guess that pushed me into all my other careers or professions.
And so from there, you went on and you lived in New York and spent quite a few years in the New York school district, helping children and what a gift, right, to be able to be with them both physically, but also as this energetic kind of knowing So what was it like to be helping in that way? It was a great healing from me to be able to help others early and deep from within my own need to be helped, not having those language skills.
So I appreciated the opportunity and I also recognized at the same time I was experiencing a lot of personal physical difficulties and working with young children that were deprived and challenged help me get through that very difficult time in my life of great losses. That's probably the most important thing. And so where did your journey lead you next?
I would start with getting my master's degree because in my master's degree before I started teaching I really began to understand and be more kind to myself about my challenges. But yet, I still have a lot of that, and it wasn't until I had a near death during 1 of my atop pregnancies. Did I begin to realize that there was a very strong voice within me and that was my soul self?
When I heard that, I started to open up a little bit more to knowing that I am more than just my intelligence or my interactions with people. In 2003, before I did Hoffman, after I was teaching, I really was very sick with Crohn's disease, and I had to look inside not only from the intellectual part of me, but the physical part of me and the emotional part of me. And I didn't have the language for it.
I I was trying to move with what was going on, but I didn't have the language until I ultimately wound up with the Hoffman process, which I have to thank my brother law for because he went, and I was living in Nevada, but a different part of Nevada, and I felt that I needed to go further. And I didn't know where that was gonna be. So I went to New York City.
My at Uncle gave me their apartment, which they weren't using and ed books all over the place, and this 1 book spoke to me, and this 1 book was the seat of the soul and I'm mentioning it because that was what I felt was calling to me to understand what was that inside of me. And that took me to have a conversation with my brother along came to visit, and he had just done the hoffman process and he said to me, Oh my god, Roughly, go to the hoffman process.
This will be just what you need to heal and to move forward. So in 2004, I did the process, and the language of the quadrant was a gift to me because that gave me what I needed. And it really allowed me to now start focusing in on those different parts of myself, and what were they telling me and what what was in pain, and why was it in
pain? So that was just wonderful. And the more I listened, the more I healed pain and my doubts and my negative self perceptions, and that helped me lean into what I call now my opposing truths of those lies and deception, that I was believing about myself, That I I couldn't have this conversation man. Right? Because those were part of the lies and the deception I was telling myself. And that moved me into the next step which was, The spiritual psychology program for 2 years
after that. Thank you, Hoffman process for opening me up to that. Right? And recognizing that, wow. I really needed to go deeper and learn more. And so I proceeded to do that, and that was very in deaths because it was 2 years. And it allowed me to heal on so many levels including healing the Crohn's disease, and healing it to my language, maybe not the medical professions language, but my language of I know what it needs to not be in pain. Right? I knew and
I learned what the crohn's needed. That brought me to so many new possibilities because I was feeling better. And at the University Santa Monica, where I did the spiritual psychology, I got a lot of feedback because they they did Trio all the time for us to practice. And everybody would say to me. Oh my god a you coach. A you a coach. And I wasn't a coach. I was a teacher, but not a coach. And I walked away from there recognizing that's leading me to the next step.
And I did become a coach, and I was working with people privately. There was a family situation where I got to experience a client, assisted coaching. And I was like, what what is that? I cannot I believe when I'm seeing. I was blown away. In my observations of it happening with other people, and then they allowed me
to have and experience myself. And that experience was feeling the sentience of both myself and the horses interacting and the horse is being able to nudge me, sometimes gently, but physically, nudge me, when I wasn't speaking my truths that I was covering up where I was deflect or whatever I might have been doing. And I was fascinated and decided wow, that is my next step. And I trained as an assisted coach.
And I trained even though, which is really important I had a fear of horses because I was very badly injured and had pretty much a a back challenge from a horse incident, and I never understood how that happened? Why did that happen? And it always, like, did I do something? What happened between me and the horse. I was thrown, I injured my spine considerably.
And that new level of understanding that the horses understood or the horses were trying to communicate with me but I didn't have the awareness to be open to what my horse was telling me even though I had written quite a bit.
And so I became a coach, an e assisted coach, which helped me to take what I learned from Hoffman, all the different parts of ourselves, and I learned something new from the courses, which is They are 4 and a half million years here on this earth, and their prey, not predators and that fascinated me, how is that possible? How could they survive as a prayer animal.
The more I'd learned about them, the more I understood that they not only survive, but they thrive because they communicate in their social structure. They have high sen, so they can sense and know when to leave when to run when to protect and they are fast and big, and that's what allowed them to survive and thrive? And I said, wow, what do I have to take from that when I'm coaching people because if we don't use that social sen were limited.
And how can I apply it, and that's where I then began to develop my own conceptual framework which is now going to be shortly published in my book? It's just been a blessing, and that has been a huge journey of well over probably 2 decades, living it and developing it, and then writing it for the past 6 years with a c writer. Yeah. So Well, I would I'd love to hear though a little bit more if we go back to the e assisted coaching. I'm kind of
talk about that. If you could maybe for those that are unfamiliar with, like, what would a session look like? I've I've participated in it, and I learned a lot about my own energy, and my own being, but I'm I'm curious if you could articulate for us what a session looks like, you know, a question that people go in with or anything. Well, I've done it in a few different ways. I've had groups. And I've done personal coaching, and there's some different. When I've had groups. I've had groups
with people that are coming in with... Say generally the same desire to maybe meet to partner, develop relationships. So my groups have been more sort of focused in that way. It's also can be used in businesses when you're trying to get teams to respect and hear each other and be kind in understanding that we all have our pains. Some of us have done a better not a better job, but a more in endeavor healing process of that pain.
Again, I'll go back to learning that we have to embrace our truths and the horses step in on that because when you send an energy, to the horse that they feel is not aligned with what they're sensing, they will let that person know They will nudge them, they will even be a little bit... I don't wanna use the word aggressive, but a little bit more than an nudge. Just kind of call them out on it. You know, I sometimes laugh with the people and go, you know, they're screaming bullshit to
me. Right? And they are and I don't know exactly what the reason is, but I know what the forces are feeling. So or a horse depending. I then would ask my clients, basically, what's that about? What's going on is there something that you're not comfortable sharing? And do you wanna try and share again? And a way that is more free and open and trusting. So that's 1 way. Other ways is doing team programs, You know, you you have an idea.
You have a goal for the team that maybe there's a lot of bad blood within a business team, and your effort is to have each member of the team clear, some of that stuff with it as I was just describing with the horses, might inform us, and then you have an activity in which they have to work together with a horse to accomplish something. Sometimes and a lot of times with business teams you do it where you have 2
different teams. So there's a bit of competition, and that competition then allows us to look at it afterwards to see Is their behavior in service to the team and the goal or was it in service to themselves? And how did that affect the team? So there are a lot of iterations. Right? But those are 2 that just came forward for me. Yeah. Well, and what I I was picking up on was sort of the internal lie detector. Right? If the the horse is outside of us, a n and and guiding.
It so sounds like a beautiful way in to sort of check yourself and say, wow. Wait. Okay. It's that didn't sit right. And that's where the lang of spies comes in for me. I wanted to create an acronym after the Hoffman process, I knew knew that there was something inside me that was gonna be a book. And I never thought I would be a writer of a buck given my language challenges when I was so young and reading challenges.
So when I felt so compelled to understand and want to create a language, which is why I created the acronym spies for the purpose of people being able to identify these 5 operatives, we call them spies operatives that are within each of us and how we have to really understand each 1 of them to be able to call them out or heal them or support them or whatever it might be. So as it team, we could make decisions at move us forward. And be honest about what stops us from moving forward.
Walk us through what are the 5? Right to the acronym. So the first 1 is your soul full self. We're soul full operative. Sp, your physical, Sp I, your intellectual, Sp I e, your emotional, And then the last 1 is what the horses really brought up for me, PIES, your social self were operative. When teams work, it's very helpful because you have clearer language or even a person, you want them to be able to understand who it is that's in pain or who it is traumatized or who it is in fear or angry or
whatever. Right? Or sick for that matter. I had to understand where was my Crohn's ema from besides it just being physical. Right? It was there another component to my Crohn's. What was the emotional part of it? So, you know, 1 I was able to break up the SPIES. It gave me greater language to help other people be able to language where they're getting stuck, where they're hurt, where they have fears and pain, etcetera.
Amazing. And when you were kind of going through your story, I think something first that I just wanna call out is that you did the process 20 years ago, which is incredible. I always love hearing that's something you did 20 years ago Ago still lives with you and is now, you know, shaping some of the work you're working on in some of your passions. So take us back if you can to your process, and what was something kind of profound or a moment that you remember really moved
you during your time there? Well, they were 2. Being in for me a space with a lot of people doing something was a little intimidating before I entered that space. But once I entered that space, the way it was orchestrated was amazing to me and helped me realize that when you things up properly, you're still acknowledging the individual's privacy, and ability to do their work in whatever way at whatever pace they need to. So that was 1 very important piece. I also really
appreciated. That would didn't matter. You know, what we do for a living or who we are, but that were all people. And that was also a really striking experience having been living in a very high pressured community outside of New York City and then inside of New York City, where so much of it is who you are and what you do or at least was in the environment that
I was exposed to, I should say. And the other thing is, as I mentioned, I had a lot of losses during a period of my life wanting to make a family and not succeeding. The process was the first time I felt acknowledged for the pain and the trauma that I had. It healed me. It healed me to let go of that and move to the next place that I needed to go.
And that next place was to open myself up to just be okay with Not everything works out in the picture perfect way we imagine, but that makes us more step wives or step for people if you wanna call it, then it does humans having their own unique experience. I said humans, but I wanna say humans that most important are unique souls having their experience.
Well, you've mentioned the word soul a few times, and it grabs me, and I'm curious of what that means to you and what the journey has been to learning and uncovering parts of your soul. Well, when I was very young and I didn't understand language I was picking up a lot of information, and I didn't have any idea of what that was or that I was even different until you start sharing, like, my older sister saying, oh, let's read this book or how come you not
talking or whatever it might be. And I then felt gee. I must be different, and I kind of had a hole inside of me. But now I understand that whole was a society kind of perception a social, I guess you'd call it perception because as I grew up, and then I said had some traumatic losses, 1 being a near death, I literally experienced myself leaving myself. At that moment, I didn't have language for it so when I woke up and I was alive.
I was stunned because I had an out of my own body experience, observing everything that they were doing to try and save my life. Not only that but hearing others as I was leaving my body, they were rolling me into the elevator, you know, trying to rush to the operating
room. And I'm observing everybody who was there as the doors closing, and that was my brother love, my mother, my father love my husband and the people rolling me into the elevator and the doctors having the conversation in the elevator. But I wasn't hearing it from the language that I then had, I was hearing it from this little girl place that I was sensing it. Right? That it wasn't language which per s, but I could totally understand what they were saying and experiencing.
When I woke, I was shocked, and my husband was there, and he said everything is okay. And I said, no, it's not. It will never be the same I met a part of myself that I know what it is now, my soul I met my soul, and it took me on the rest of my journey, and that was a very long time ago. I mean, my I adopted my son in 19 82, and my daughter and 85, and this will happen prior to that just to give a perspective.
And so that allowed me to hear the students that I was working with, not from their pain in their frustration verbally, but in observing and feeling them and and having a sense of how I can help them navigate to get a handle on something in a different way. So it was quite, you know, gift that kept building on itself. And, and then also allowed me to not be afraid to make decisions that a lot of people around me didn't understand why and how I was making them because I was making them
driven by my soul self. So in my spies, operative, the soul self leads the Pi IES, the team so that it becomes let's say the decisions become surrounded by the soul energy for lack of the better way of saying it. And so everybody can feel comfortable living with it that they've been heard and then, you know, or sort of guided by that other energy. That brings me to something that I think
is important to share, which is... Before It I started to write the book, and I had all the concepts going on in my head. I knew that there was gonna be a fable for my book introduce my book. Again, do you asked me how did I know? I guess it was my soul himself. It was just a sentence I didn't... There was no doubt about it. And for years, I... Your, people tell you you're gonna be the 1 to write it, and I'd say, I don't think so there will be somebody that comes into my life that will be
able to write it. And I just left it out there. I did go through a change in my life that was quite big, and I went through a divorce, and I then was in new partnership, and my new partner was sharing how he's written stories would I like to read it and different poems and different things and I'm reading his work, and I'm saying to myself because I didn't wanna put any pressure on him
Wow. Is he the 1 who's gonna be riding this sale and well into the second year of our relationship he said, could you tell me more about these spies? And I did, and it was right before we were going to go sleep, and I woke up, and I said, wow. I think my partner drank the fable and sure enough, he is sitting with his computer on his lap that morning and putting his finger over his lips shu me so that I don't interrupt his process and he literally writes the whole sa in that 1 day sitting. It was
beyond what I could have imagined. I was moved beyond belief and the the the tears and the emotions of how powerful it was. So it will be the preface of my book, and he is publishing it as a children's sa, and I hope that I will be able to bring being the educator that I am, possibly this into the schools to teach children how to understand their spies so that they could be with them from very early on
amazing. It makes me smile. You mind sharing a little bit of the of the fable with us just as an overview because I know it's where you got the rest of your title Spies lies and butterflies from. It's actually lies, spies, and butterflies. The lies of are the deception that we spoke about earlier that we all tell ourselves about ourselves. For whatever reason or experiences or feedback, right, over our lifetime, or social pressures that we create perceptions.
And then the spies allows you to look at all of it So the fable is about a cat pillar who is going about being a cat pillar. And encounters different creatures each 1 of them representing the operatives, spies, is now confronted with an owl who says, oh my goodness. You're not here for any other purpose, but 1, to be my dinner. And is it almost successful in convincing the caterpillar?
I guess I am and all the creatures that enter into the story remind the caterpillar that the caterpillar is more than just the dinner for somebody else, especially the soul part of the communication, then you have in the end, this beautiful emergence of a butterfly, and it is a tale that helps us to understand our journeys in such a beautiful clear way that I think kids will just love it, Appreciate it, and the characters
are so much fun. In the whole fable that I could never have imagined somebody could be so creative, but people are. And he is, and he was in this fable. What a gift? What a gift for adults to be able to dive back into this and and that I love just thinking about spies and, I just think it's a great
framework for it. And then also this, yeah, fable an introduction to kids and and healing all just sounds so aligned with this journey that you've been on to discover your own soul, but I think now it really sounds like helping people discover their own souls. Yeah. I actually need to add something, which is... I had a group here that is being facilitated by myself and another... She'd be calling herself a therapist for...
Well, for people on the spectrum. Young or old, but this group was basically sort of young adults for the most part and 1 of the participants is now going to be or is the... She's doing the drawings for the fable, the characters.
And she's now come into our life on a much more personal level, and I've watched the emergence of her from being an incredible artist, but totally within herself and not necessarily comfortable in, you know, stepping out into the world to totally stepping out to the world as she's understanding the story because she's illustrating it. Right? And wanting to have this dialogue with me and the author so that she can do the right
illustrations for it. And to watch her emergence is almost like for me, watching that caterpillar become the butterfly. It's been nothing shy of amazing. So I just thank Hoffman all the time. It's it's something that was the best gift, my brother Could have ever given me. Risk to pass it forward. Well, thanks so much, Leslie. I always enjoy hearing from you and the energy you ex zoo and just this journey through the soul and your love for presence and people. So I really
appreciate you sharing that with us today. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate having the opportunity. Thank you for listening to our podcast. My name is Liza and Grass. I'm the Ceo and President of Hoffman in Institute Foundation. And I'm Ras Rossi, Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute Foundation. Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love. In themselves in each other and in the world To find out more, please go to hump institute dot org.