- The minute I walked into Hoffman, I had a one-on-one with Raz about my work. He went through all my pre Hoffman work and I think he asked me like three questions and um, I remember one was, when did you lie last . I remember telling him I lied to my mother that I was coming here. , - Welcome to Love's Everyday Radius, a podcast brought to you by the Hoffman Institute.
My name is Liz Severn, and on this podcast you will explore graduate's journeys of self-discovery and learn how the process transformed their internal and external worlds. Hope you enjoy. Welcome everybody. I am really excited as today on the podcast we have David Fish Off. - Hi Liz. Thank you so much for having me. I am a father of five, a grandfather of eight.
Prior to going to Hoffman, I probably would've listed all my credits, but my family is most important to me and secondary is my career as a music and sports agent. I started my career off as a sports agent, representing many professional athletes over the years, including baseball, great Lou Pinella to football, great Phil Sims, many athletes. And then I transitioned into the rock and roll world where I created tours like happy Together, dirty Dancing and The Monkeys in 1986.
And then I continued, uh, bringing Ringo's all-star band. I brought that to fruition. And now for the last 25 years I've been doing the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp. - I mean, there are so many directions that I could take this because knowing what I know about you, you are one of the most interesting people that I've had the pleasure of talking to. But I first think I heard about you through, well, through Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp, but also through the process.
You are a legend in our Hoffman community. So how long ago did you do the process? - So I did the process probably 25 years ago. I went to see a, a fellow person in the music business and I walked into their office and they turned to me and said, after three minutes of speaking to me, they said, you know, I think you should go up north and do the Hoffman process. Here's the telephone number, call E Liza and just tell her I told you to call.
And I had just come off the road with Ringo Star and the band for three months prior to that, I did three months with the Monkeys. And, and I don't know, they just told me, you should call this number. And I did. And I remember calling the office and uh, asking what, what's this program about? My friend told me to call. I - I love that because truly not much has changed in terms of the process, right? We are still this really tiny, intimate group of people.
You can just call the office and talk about it. But I am always delighted to hear the stories of of, you know, 25, 26 years ago, it was the same you called in and asked. So what was it that you heard that made you say, okay, I'm gonna sign up. I'm gonna go away for a week plus and do this. - Well, I have to tell you, uh, you know, I've gone back many times, you know, weekends and couples with my wife, and you're right, the program hasn't really changed much in 25 years.
It's only been gotten better and better for me as an individual. I basically wanted to know a little bit more about it. And I think Liza really explained it to me and, you know, because I thought I was on top of the world. You know, here I am on tour for six months, but I had gotten divorced, uh, a year before prior, and I couldn't understand why I got divorced. And I, I, because I know I'm a good guy.
I, I know, I feel I'm a good guy, you know, and my parents were married for 50 years and how come I couldn't keep, uh, my marriage? So that was really one of my biggest questions. I wanted to really learn and understand more about myself.
And then when they explained the process and what I'll get out of it, I signed up and, and I didn't even really understand it at the time I signed up, but they sent me this paperwork and I remember flying to Israel and 'cause it was, was so much paperwork and I was going there. Anyways, I decided to go through the paperwork and I'd have to tell you, it brought a lot of emotions, um, going through that paperwork and asked me a lot of questions. But I loved that. I thought that was great.
They really wanted to know my story. They wanted to know about my childhood, about my relationship with my parents, my traits. And, you know, that was the first time I really, you know, paid attention to traits that you learn from your parents. But I filled out the paperwork, it was extensive and again, I I I, I loved it. I thought that doing that work, they were really trying to know the most about me.
So that when I would do the process and I would spend this week there, then they'll have everything about me. I did it and I sent in the paperwork and that was it before I went.
Then my, then what happened was my dad had passed away in between the time that I filled out the paperwork and the process, Raz was so nice, he called me up and he said to me, you know, David, if you wanna come another time, feel free, but I'm gonna tell you that this is a very special time in your life and I think you'll accomplish a lot by coming. And he was so right. And I decided, you know what? I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna challenge myself.
And I have to tell you that not only was the timing right, you know, and I love my father, but you know, coming off the road after six months being on tour, it really answered all the questions I really wanted to know. - I love hearing that. It's, and I love hearing they get the courage to go, even after your father had recently passed, as I know a lot of, a lot of people that are interested in Hoffman, it's like life happens, right?
And sometimes we can use that as an excuse to not carry on or go forward, but to allow that to move you even deeper into the work I imagine was just such a gift. - Well, I have to tell you that I deal with this every day. You know, I own the Rock and Roll Fantasy camp, and I'm really proud of that because I know about a week ago, I, I did a comedy fantasy camp with Jay Leno and Adam Corolla. So I'm able to give comedians now their dreams.
But I have to tell you, the week before camp at Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp, I, I have a, it's a, it's not a joke, but I tell people it's called Cancer Week because people try to cancel. They, you know, the, the wife will call up and say, my husband's mom has cancer, his brother has cancer, his guitar has cancer, his drum set has cancer. They just throw that word around. And, and I, and I know what it is, it's just, it's not true.
I hate that they use that word, but they wanna try to find a, a reason to cancel, you know? And I, and I totally get it. I, you know, I know why people wanna cancel. You know, when you go to Hoffman and when you go to my camp, you are really putting yourself in arm's way of going to a life changing experience. And most of the people come to Hoffman are very successful people.
And you know, we're type A's, and we're so used to, you know, winning and to go somewhere where, you know, we're not gonna have control of our lives. We are gonna, in the end, we do really have control of our lives. But, you know, we're, we're so used to wanting to succeed and here we're gonna hear the truth.
You know, I always say that Hoffman really ripped me apart, really, which I needed being in show business, you know, being around celebrities all day and athletes, and, you know, no one says no to you. You know, everyone is always yes, yes, yes. And you're great. And, you know, and, and no one really tells you the truth. And I think what Hoffman did for me was really tell me the truth without taking away the great stuff of the entertainment business and sports that I love.
I, I'll never forget, I think I had this conversation with Raz one day, and I, I said to him, one of the reasons that we, I like the entertainment business, is you get to still be a kid. And he turned to me and he said, you think Steven Spielberg's a kid? He's an adult also . So, and he's producing movies. And many executives, you know, we're, we're adults. And, and I think that the fact that people try to cancel and they get scared, it's a good feeling.
And I, you know, rock Camp, I tell people, Ringo Star, Joe Walsh, Bruce Springsteen, they all get nervous too, going on stage. So nerves are good. - Well, talk us through some of your nerves going into the process. Was there something you were fearful of or was it all excitement? Let's go? - Well, you know, two things, definitely the fear, but you know what, I had taken a different attitude. I had come off the road. I really wanted these answers.
I knew I'm a good person. I knew I had, I was, things were lacking in my life and I was anxious to, to get the answers. So normally I would've not gone because of my father's passing and would've found an excuse. And I just said, you know what? I'm gonna tackle the issues. So I went in with a real positive that outta Hoffman there will be the answers that I want. And the biggest answer I got coming outta Hoffman was all the answers are inside of me.
And really taught me that that was something that if I would be dating a woman I'd, I'd go to five friends. What do you think? What do you think of her? What do you wanna think of that? Or if I had a business concept and I'd ask 20 people, and the bottom line is, is that all these answers are inside of you. And Hoffman taught me that. It taught me that you can make these decisions, you can make decisions and how to make those decisions and they come from within.
- Beautiful. Well, and I love to ask everyone the question 'cause a lot of our listeners are grads, and I think it helps everyone connect back to their process. When was a moment in time during your process that you really were just either in total shock, awe, but kind of that deeper pull of this is where I need to be, or this is what I'm working towards? - The minute I walked into Hoffman, I had a one-on-one with Raz about my work.
And, you know, he went through my, he went through all my pre Hoffman work and I think he asked me like three questions. And, um, I remember one was, when did you lie? Last ? And I remember, I remember telling him, I lied to my mother that I was coming here. So I mean, right then and there, I said, wait a minute, how did he know this about me, , you know, or you know, he just, the three questions that he asked me, just I knew I was in the right place. 'cause I knew I was gonna get these answers.
So right away when I walked in and then it got, you know, it got stronger and stronger and, and, um, and I was getting more and more confident. And, you know, the process is amazing. I mean, just the way they schedule everything and the way it's, it's so perfectly timed. And I remember taking stuff from the process and bring it to my camp. And, and that's the element of surprise.
And I remember I said to Mickey Dolans of the Monkeys, I said, would you come by Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp one day for lunch? And he came by and I turned to the people at, at the meal and I said, okay, say bye. Say hello Mickey. Do sitting right next to you. They didn't even know. And I love that element of surprise. And they were just blown away. And I think Hoffman did that for me, gave me a lot of elements of surprises.
- Well, and let's talk about rock and Roll Fantasy camp, because I know this is a huge passion of yours, right? Entertainment, but also as you're mentioning, bringing some of this joy and childlike excitement and expression back to adults. So talk us through the inception of the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp. - So the Rock and Roll fantasy started, you know, when I, I got this idea and I was on tour with, with Ringo and the All Star Band, the first tour.
And, and you can go on YouTube and people can see the, they played a joke on me, these rock stars. I was having dinner, um, at the Garden State Art Center and with the president of Radio City Music Hall. And Ringo had said to me, I, I wanna play, uh, radio City. And he said it like, uh, I wanna play Radio City. So how great it would be, you know?
So he invited the, the president to come see the band, and I'm having dinner with him, and all of a sudden, uh, NS Lofgren from Bruce Springsteen's band, the E street band, walks by my table and says, David, this all star band idea of yours and bringing all these all stars together, it's never gonna work. And you know, the bands are fighting and you know, the band members are fighting, and everyone told me it wasn't gonna work. So naturally people tell me something's not gonna work, I do it.
And then all of a sudden, Clarence Clemens, the late Clarence Clemens, the big man from Springsteen's Band who was in the band, he said to me, fish off, I'm quitting. And I said, what? He says, yeah, the bands are fighting Joe Walsh of the Eagles and Levon Helman, the band are fighting over songs, and you better go downstairs and and to the dressing room and straighten it out. I said, oh, no. So all I could see was my house falling down the river.
I was gonna lose my home. I was gonna, I bet the bet the farm on this tour. And I go down there and I, and I see, I walk in there and Joe Walsh has a knife and, um, blood on his hands and Levon helmets a glass bottle, and they're yelling at each other. And, um, I walk in there and one of the rock stars was filming it, Jim Kelner. I walk in there and say, you guys, a bunch of babies? And they both turned around and they pushed me and they threw the glass.
And it turns out they stuck their tongues out. It was fake glass, it was a bottle made of sugar, the knife was a rubber knife. They put fake blood and they just scared me. So then I realized that, uh, you know, they, they played a goof on me. So from that, when I was on that road, then I said to myself, you know, these people, they love what they do. Why don't I put them all together and create a camp where people can see how amazing these rock stars are and how creative they are.
And that's how I started Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp. And, um, in the movie Rock Camp, it's, it's one of the opening scenes that, uh, people can get on Amazon Prime, you know. So then I created this camp and I just started to realize that I was changing people's lives and finding their passion. And then after I did Hoffman, I took some of the elements of surprise and some of the things that I learned at Hoffman.
Basically how they bring you back to your childhood, and you find that passion of who you were when you were a child before anyone ever hurt you, before you were hurt by parents and brothers and sisters and teachers and girlfriends and everything to that one-year-old little David, when I was really happy and, and my happiest and 2-year-old and three, three-year-old. And they brought me back to that time in my life where it was the happiest time in my life.
And because I had a great childhood, my parents were, were sweet, and, um, and they were nice. I didn't know any different. And so I do that at camp and I try to take these people back to their teen years when the music was the most important thing to their life and show them that they should go back, you know, try to get them to that part of their life. And when they do, when they find that happiness, it's just unbelievable.
You can conquer anything when you find that happiness, you can conquer your job, you can conquer your family, it's all these things that, all that hurt that you get over the years that you don't realize you are passed down from your parents. Both positive negative traits that really, that really affect your day-to-day living. And I think that, that, you know, that's, that's what I try to do in my camp. And that's really what I, I learned from, you know, Raz and Liza.
- When has music always been this through line, back to your childhood, back to these joyful, happy years? - You know, music to me has been different kinds of music, but to the, the camper that's coming to rock camp music is his life. You know, he, the camper comes to me is someone who's been playing in a band since high school and in college and, and then all of a sudden they, they gotta take a position where they have to go make a decision in life.
Either quit being in a band or go do a real job. And most people, 99.9 0.9 0.9% have to go do the real job. And, you know, the people, the musicians that are able to do it as a living, how amazing it is for them to live their passion. And I have to talk about passion because passion is probably the greatest thing that came out of Hoffman for me. I thought I was passion. I really thought I had a lot of passion to me, but it was so cloudy.
My passions were cloudy because of all the hurt and because of all the negative traits. And I think what Hoffman did was just cleared all that negativity out and then I could find my real passion. And, and, you know, my real passion is, is really doing, doing my camps and, and because I get to enjoy the same benefits that I think the Hoffman process does, you get to really give people a gift of life that they didn't realize that they had. - Incredible. Yeah. I watched the movie Rock Camp.
So talk to me, how did the idea to, to film and put fantasy, you know, rock and roll fantasy camp into this behind the scenes idea into a movie? - So, uh, Jeff Rowe, who was the, uh, president of VH one, and we worked for together for many years, he ran the network and came to me and says, you know, David, this thing's amazing. You don't realize what you're doing. And, and I said, I know people thank me all the time. He says, I wanna make a documentary.
And he got a hold of Doug Blush, who's been around three Oscar winning films, you know, 20 feet from Stardom, one of my favorite. And Netflix had one on Ticus, I think it was called. And, and then another one called Period, which, you know, all three won Oscars. And he, um, loved what he saw in, in our footage. And together they, they made an amazing film and I think people really, really enjoyed.
It's Free, it's on Amazon Prime, it's on YouTube, and you'll really see people going through a life-changing experience going through the camp besides the people who go to the camp, get the experience, get the life-changing experience from the rock stars who really go through the, the most, uh, life-changing experience because it reminds 'em when they first started out.
And I think it's so much emotion that they get from it that, you know, some of the stars are in tears and they get a lot out of it also. So I've been able to be around for 26 years, not because, um, me, but because the rock stars really enjoy it. And, and I think it's the same thing with teachers like Ed and yourself. I think that the teachers get a lot out of it as much as the students.
- Absolutely. And in that movie though, I just really saw your heart and your passion, so I know yes, it's the, the campers and yes, it's the rock and roll musicians, but it was really beautiful just to see your spark come alive in that. And the fact that you've been able to keep this going for 26 years really just speaks to how big your heart is, right? And how big this passion and how you live from spirit.
- And that's Hoffman I have to say, you know, prior to Hoffman it was business, business, business, money, career. What can I climb the first year? I can, I'll have 10 ball players and I'll have 15 ball players. I'll do one tour of summer and I'll do two tours of summer. There wasn't enough to fill the inside of me. And, and, and I'm glad I did it 'cause I I was very successful at it. But then once I came to a time in my life, once I did Hoffman, and it just kept getting on me and getting on me.
I know there's more to life here and, and now I'm really, you know, I'm lucky. I'm 67 years old and I have more passion than ever. I credit Hoffman with that because if I feel like something is wrong in my day to day, I'll just go to the great tools that they taught me there. And it's able to bring me back to reality and structure and who I really am. You know, being a son of a, a rabbi and a cantor and my brother's a rabbi, my son-in-law's a rabbi.
And I didn't wanna be a rabbi, but I just saw these people around me constantly giving and, and wanting to help people. And I, and I went into this world of show business where, you know, it's help, but it's career, career, career. And so I was able to combine what I learned in show business and, and what I learned from my rabbinical family when - I, that brings us to this other huge part of your life, your faith.
- Faith is important, you know, and, and Hoffman doesn't make a difference what your religion is. It doesn't make a difference if you're a Muslim, if you're a Buddhist, even if you have no faith, if you're an agnostic. I think Hoffman really deep in my faith before I was doing things that I rote, I pray three times a day and I would go to the synagogues in the morning and Hoffman was able to deepen my prayers, you know, by doing the, the quad process in the midst of my prayers.
And doesn't take that much every day to do your quad entity and to check in with, with yourself and, you know, deepen my, my religious belief and, and really, and in, in my prayer and my meditation. - So talk to me how you hold your praying practice and the quadrant check-in. 'cause I think this is fascinating. - So in the daily prayers in my, my religion, there is a, they, they're called the silent amida. And there's 18 blessings.
And we basically, we say a prayer where, and we ask, you know, God for everything to protect us. And before I end those 18 blessings, I stop and I just go into my quadr and I do my physical check, I do my spiritual check, my intellectual check and my physical check, and I check it every day. If something's off, then you know, I'll go do one of my tools and afterwards and I'll say, okay, what's wrong? What's not working, what's not?
And it really grounds me every day, you know, um, I get grounded because of, of Hoffman and because of the ity check. And in the past I would go, uh, if I felt something I would go eat a Danish, you know, , I didn't, I didn't know how to take those feelings, you know, I luckily I wasn't into drugs and alcohol, but I, you know, food was my thing. And the program really helped me identify when I had feelings. And I never had that before.
I just went, you know, I, it was exciting or it was, you know, in show business it's very up and down, you know, that's why this program is great for people in the entertainment business. You know, we have the highest highs and we probably get the lowest Lowe's because, you know, actors and actresses, they get high of being on a set, but then not getting a part or, or a musician losing a gig. And the lows are so, you know, are so low.
And I think Hoffman's able to ground you and, you know, many successful entertainers have Dun Hoffman, you know, the late John Denver. And I mean, so many names have read, been public about it, you know, I did a record for, I remember producing a record of all the musicians who had dead Hoffman asking them for songs. And, uh, but you know, especially in our business and, and I think what Hoffman does it, it just grounds me, you know, get me on my two feet.
- And what about connection to spiritual self, right? We talk about that often in Hoffman, and for many, that might be a new experience, but how are you able to bring in your spiritual self and bring that into your, your tradition and your faith?
- Well, again, I'm able to, to feel, and I think the, having the spirituality, I don't, I got into a candle fetish, , that's the right word, but everywhere I traveled on tour with Ringo, uh, one summer I just bought candles and candles, you know, and I love candles. And I learned that at Hoffman. Really? - But the candles are from Hoffman, huh? Lighting your quadrant. I love it. - I love candles. I think candles was a big part of me. And, and, and I used to light 'em on my terrace.
And, you know, that really brought my spirituality to me. And I got to be who I really am. You know, Hoffman, it gives you who you are and you're not there because your mother and your father, you know what, one of the things I love watching these award shows, and I remember learning at Hoffman about how we're so geared to our parents, our parents, our parents, our parents. And, and if you watch these award shows, you see that everyone who wins, I gotta thank my mom.
I gotta thank my dad. Mommy, are you proud of me? Now, you know, it's like I beg my kids be who you are. Don't worry about me. You know, I know you wanna please your parents and I think it's beautiful. But what Hoffman taught me is be your own person and love your parents and, you know, and 'cause your parents gave you a lot of great stuff. They gave you a lot of other stuff too. But learn to separate those things.
And I, I think that to me is, was really one, one of the greatest things I learned at Hoffman to be able to separate myself from my parents and do things for me. And I really want that for my kids. I beg them all the time, be who you are, be successful. And I have very successful my children. I, I think without Hoffman, I, I, my, my daughter and, and her husband are very successful Rabbi and, and a and a rabbi's wife here in Los Angeles. My daughter Alana Noah, my daughter's a top nutritionist.
She got over 2 million TikTok followers. And I think I was able to give them the tools that I learned in Hoffman and don't worry about Dad. Maybe making me proud. Make yourself proud. And I, of course, I'm gonna be proud of you. - I don't dare ask for a full rundown on your opinion on the music in the process, but I do know that one song was pretty special and fond. You were fond of it. Do you mind telling us that story?
- It's my pleasure. I, it was a song that they play in the process called The Living Years. And it was by Mike and the Mechanics, and it was sung by the lead singer, Paul Carrick. And I don't remember ever hearing the song before, but I heard it at Hoffman. And they, during a, one of the, um, special, uh, events that they do during that week, and I remember crying and the song went a Grammy. And it basically about a son regretting, you know, not connecting with his father.
And before his father passed away. Now I had the opposite. My father and I were so close. I mean, I went to Hoffman and I'll never forget, I, when I did my paperwork, I filled out a hundred negative traits I got from my mother and five from my father. My father was amazing. He was a Holocaust survivor, and he survived Auschwitz in Boal and he loved me, and I just felt unconditional love from him. But by the time I left Hoffman, I identified 125 negative traits of my mother. And 125, my father.
My father gave me a lot of stuff too that I didn't realize. And it was amazing because, you know, that's how great that process was. It brought out things in me that I was doing that I didn't realize where, where they were coming from. So that was number one that helped me identify. But that song, the Living Years was so amazing that every time I played it, when I left Hoffman, I just, I just kept getting a, um, a, a chill.
And, and it probably was that it reminded me of the process, not 'cause again, I had an amazing relationship with my dad. So every year I would put the Ringo and the all-star band toured together. I would, I would go out and find musicians and come up with ideas, and I would go to a Ringo and say, um, you know, I mean the first tour we did together and his, he had his musicians that he wanted.
And, you know, he had his relationship with Joe Walsh, his brother-in-Law, and he wanted the guys from the band, and I wanted Billy Preston and, you know, different ones. But then it got to the point where, okay, we'd have our meeting and, and I would say, um, here's who I think we should have on the tour. And I, I wanted to go meet Paul Carrick.
So I, I got ahold of him, I went to England and because back of my mind is, if I could hear that song, the Living Years, every Night on Tour, that would be what a gift I could give myself. So I remember going to meet Paul, I went to Bourmouth, I went all the way down south to, to see him perform at a little theater. And I went in to pitch him on this idea of going on tour and I convinced him to do it. And the next day I go see Ringo. Oh, who?
And I said, well, I this person and that person, and then I'd really like to get Paul Carrick. 'cause he won the, the Grammy and the living years. And he also, he was, he sang a song called Tempted. He was, he's been in like three bands, what a Voice the Guy has. And he turned to me and says, oh, you just want that song? 'cause you want to hear it every night. And I said, yeah, I do wanna hear it every night, and we're gonna listen to it every night.
I love it . And I had to convince him to put Paul on the tour. And, uh, so he did. And it turned out Paul was the biggest star on the tour besides Ringo that summer. And he was really the star. And, uh, it was, he, he was amazing. About six months later, I was producing a camp at Abbey Road in England, and I was talking to one of my campers and we were having this conversation.
And she said to me, she came over to me and she says, you know, my father is very good friends with Mick Mason from Pink Floyd, and he probably would love to do the camp. And I said, you, that'd be great. Do you ever talk to your father? And saying, you, no, I don't have a relationship with my father. And, but my mother's here. And she proceeded to tell me how she didn't have a relationship with her father, and he got married again and she felt totally abandoned.
So a light clicked in my mind, I said, okay. I go back to my room that night and I called Paul Carrick and he lives in England. I said, Paul, do me a favor. Would you come to Abbey Road Studio and do a q and a with the campers? And I'd love to just to surprise him again, I love to bring surprise guests into camp. And he said, of course, David. And he came and I set up a piano for him. And, uh, he answered all these people's questions about his career, and it was fabulous.
And then most of the people left the room. And I turned to him and I said, Paul, I need you a favor. I want you to meet this young lady, her name is Julia, and no last name. But she definitely loves that. I tell the story because I said, would you do me a favor? Would you sing the song there?
Now here I'm asking a big rock star who won a Grammy, and he said, major touring star Paul character, sing the song just to this lady one-on-one, because I want her to hear the lyrics and I want her to realize how important it's for her to have a relationship with her father. You know, he was so nice to me. And he, he knew that I'd done the process of what, and, you know, I kept explain to him how the song was so important to me. And he sang the song. She started to cry and cry.
And then I hugged her. And uh, and then I said, thank you to Paul. And then I turned to her and I said, let me tell you something. This is really important for you to hear the words in the song and, and you want to go try to make up with your dad and find a way to get the, oh, he won't, he won't. Well tell you the end of the story is that not only did she make up for her father, they have a relationship.
But as a gift to me, her father told Nick Mason from Pink Floyd all about the Rock and Roll fantasy camp. And I contacted him and he contact, we both contacted each other. I remember I went and he said, David, I'd love to do your camp, because I heard how emotional it is for people and, and how life-changing it is. And not only did he come to camp, this is the greatest thing. He stayed for four days. He said, I love what you do. I never get to play with Roger Doer.
I never get to play with Joe Walsh. And, and I said, I'm always playing my music. And he stayed for four days and then he leaves and he calls me up a week later and says, do you mind if I write a story in GQ about my experience at your camp? And it was unbelievable. So, you know, just from that song and the process and, and this lady, she comes to all my camps. She has a relationship with her father and just that one song, the Power of that one song.
So you see how music does change people's lives. - I mean, I'm speechless and I listen to that song and it is one of the songs that every time I hear something different in it, and I'm fighting back tears in front of the room as well every time we're playing it. But to just hear how that song has traveled through your life, heard it in Hoffman, traveled through your life and brought healing to others is incredible.
- Can you imagine me going to Paul McCartney one day and say, Paul, will you play something ? Will, will you play, um, Ringo? Will you play Yellow Submarine for this one person, one-on-one - Just like a private concert. But it speaks to the power of just you Raza be proud. You know, just knowing and trusting what you saw in others, and again, speaks to this huge, massive heart that you have. - Realizing how one song, and you know, my wife always makes fun of me.
'cause Dave, you never listen to lyrics. I don't, I'll say I love this song. And she said, do you know what this song's about? It's about breaking up. I said, okay, you know, I love the music. And that was the one song that I finally learned, you know, listened to the lyrics and analyze the lyrics. But I like the sound and the music. The power of music is just, it is amazing. And you get some great music at the process, you know, great songs that, that playlist is incredible.
- We appreciate that. So I, you started off your introduction talking about family, and we talked, uh, about your children. But how, how else do you feel that you, as a father, as a husband, have really shifted or changed post-process? - Well, the f funniest thing was when I went, I had to explain to my kids where I was going. So I think, uh, I told 'em, I'm gonna daddy camp. I'm going to place where I'm gonna learn to be a better daddy . So - This is great.
So many people are like, what do I say? You know? So I love to hear how we left it. Some people call it love camp, but okay, you're going to dad camp - Daddy camp, and I'm gonna learn how to be a dad. I'm gonna get to learn how to be a better father. So dad's going away, gonna be off my phone. Which is a blessing. It's a blessing to be off your phone. So I remember telling my kids, they asked, where are you going? Where, why can't we talk to you for a week? I said, I'm gonna daddy camp.
I'm gonna learn how to be a dad. And that to me, it, it, it did change me in such a amazing way because you really learn to become a better father. You learn to listen to your kids. I mean, you go through those traits and just listening and, and having patience for your kids, you know, you know, I remember having lunch with a, a, a big manager the other day, and we were talking about the olden days. You would be there, but you wouldn't be there. You wouldn't be, you wouldn't be present.
So how many parents, you know, we're worried about our business. Our kid comes over to us and and says something. You'd say, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I all, I was waiting for a call from one of my athletes and my rock stars and I would say yeah, to my kids. And I wasn't listening. I wasn't paying attention. You know, today I'm so lucky.
I have a wonderful wife and a wonderful two children from my current wife and three children from my first marriage, the second set of kids, I was able to be there. I didn't live on the road. I'm able to listen to my kids. And even today, my older kids, they call me and it's my preference. I listen to what they have to say. My wife would call me. I listen to what I learned to listen before Hoffman, I would just spew out, spew out, spew out.
And I didn't really have the conscious until I went through all those, you know, learning all the, the issues that, um, the negative traits that I got from my parents, I didn't wanna give them to my kids. And it made me aware. And I think that that's really a beautiful thing. Hoff, I became a better parent and I became a better husband. I also was able to find a different type of partner and to find out, you know, what my needs were.
You know, I, I'll share this, you know, and I got married the first time I was 20 years old and I married a woman. I wanted to save her. I was gonna save her. I wanna save the world. You know, after I did Hoffman I realized, hey, I need to be saved. You know, I'm allowed to have, enjoy life and find a wife who, who will save me. You know, not save me, but be a partner. And I, so you're able to identify better who your partner is or what you need as an individual.
You know, again, it opened me up and not to be afraid to say what I need and to see what I needed in a relationship. And also my kids. I was able to listen more. And I see all five of my kids. I'm really proud of them all. Whether one is a successful nutritionist, who a rabbi's married to a rabbi. My son works in a law firm, he's happy. And then these teenagers of mine, I have one son in Israel, I was studying there and he's happy there. And, and I can see how complete these kids are.
My daughter, my teenage daughter. I realized that having the Hoffman process in me, I was able to raise my kids to be more complete and find happiness. And it's probably the cheapest thing you can do in your life that will give you something that you can't find anywhere. Anywhere. - And I know earlier we had mentioned that you bring your quadri that practice, that tool into your faith tradition.
But is there, are there any other tools or practices that help you keep just your spirit alive, keep Hoffman alive in you? - So Liz, I enjoy elevators. I think that elevators is a, um, a great tool. It really is. The one that, that gets me . It's probably my, my number one tool when I'm having an issue, uh, to understand why I am feeling that fear or that or that feeling.
Another one I use and not sure if they do it still at Hoffman or they do something similar, is I write down the negative feeling on a beach on sand. And then I think of how to turn it around. And once the water takes away that the negative feeling up comes that positive feeling. So I love the tools. I mean, the tools are just amazing writing meditation. I love the app. My wife said to me today, let's take the app out and start meditating every day.
And I said, let's do it. You know, and that's a great thing. I think that one of the points, I, I think that we all come outta Hoffman and we all say, boy, I I want my friends to do it. I want my my wife to do it. I want my kids to do it. I want everybody to do it. And you know, it took my wife five years to finally do it. You come outta there and you want the whole world to do it. But I think what happens is, is your actions and your change that will probably prompt people to wanna do Hoffman.
So if your friends don't go right away, if your partners don't go right away, don't panic. They will see the change in you. And they're gonna want that change. They're gonna really want it. And then they'll go, it's five years later, fine. If it's 6, 7, 8 years later, they're gonna wanna have that life. You come out there and we wanna buy it for everybody.
, you know, and you can't, - I, Hey, you're hired, David, you did an excellent pitch on that is probably one of the things that we try hardest to remind people to really be the change, right? To really focus on your being and let that inspire change in others, but to really not, not tell people they have to go, not tell people they have to change, but you really model that. So thank you for that. - And, and you know, I was able to get on a plane and fly to Australia to fly to Japan.
I can't tell you the benefits of, and in so many different ways, you know, fears I had of being stuck on a plane that long and, you know, and, and Hoffman just cleared all that stuff up, really. Did it really get, i I sleep better, you know, sleeping better. I mean, that's the thing you do every day. - You named those as patterns, some of those fears or phobias. - Yes. Yeah, I have fears.
I definitely have fears and phobias, you know, and coming from a, a father, uh, Holocaust, you know, father would tell me stories every day, you know, about his life and surviving in the camps. And, uh, my mother didn't go through the camps, but they, they left Germany right after Krisna. And, you know, my grandfather took the diamonds and, you know, I asked how he was able to leave. They, they lived in Berlin, they took diamonds.
They, they tied him so him into this jacket and he said, oh, we're just going on vacation. They left. I mean, they didn't have a childhood like my kids have or like I was afforded to have coming from people like, you know, my folks and, and no one has a normal childhood, what we think is normal, but everyone's parents have issues and everyone has issues. I'll tell you another great thing. At Hoffman, I'm able to learn to read people so much better.
I mean, one of the things I always point out when I have a conversation is I look at someone in the, in the eye. If you look at people, most people can't look you in the eye. They look up, they look down. And that was really the one of the great things I learned at Hoffman, that exercise where, you know, we look in people's eyes and I love that one. I mean, there's so many of 'em. You're - Absolutely right.
Eye contact is a beautiful thing and allows us to, to see each other and to, to see ourselves. But I really appreciate your time and your vulnerability to today, David. Um, it was such a pleasure to have you on. Thank - You. Thank you. Yeah, no vulnerable. That was a big thing that I learned at Hoffman too. It's great. - And I have to say, like, I really encourage people to go and watch your movie. It's on Amazon Prime and it's called Rock Camp. Is that right?
- Yeah, that's Rock Camp. You probably realize some of the Hoffman stuff in there that I've learned , - I just got to see so much of you. But then I also got to see, as you were mentioning, just the souls of these people that were going to rock and roll fantasy camp. And it was just such an amazing feel. Good story. I tell you, my husband's a a huge guitar player and I was, he was like, oh, whatcha watching? And he came in and started watching it with me.
And by the end I was like, I think I wanna go. And he's like, you don't know how to play anything. And I was like, I know. But it is so inspiring to kind of watch people in their element, in their joy, in their passion. And so I encourage everyone to go watch that and get a little bit of that spark back. But also just a huge thank you for doing this kind of stuff out in the world. - Thank you. And, and again, forever, Hoffman, and I wish everyone would do it.
- Wow. Thanks again, David. Thank - You. Appreciate it. - Thank you for listening to our podcast. My name is Liza in Grassi. I'm the CEO and President of Hoffman Institute Foundation. - And I'm Rassi Hoffman, teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute Foundation. - Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love - In themselves, in each other, and in the world. To find out more, please go to hoffman institute.org.