Hey, everybody. Drew Horn here. You know, 1 of the words we use a lot in the process is authentic, authenticity. What does that really mean? 1 of the ways to look at it is that you're true to your own personality, your own values your own spirit, true to that regardless of the pressure you're under to act otherwise. In this episode with Amanda D, see if you can listen and look out for her own authenticity. It's a refreshing honest and beautiful
conversation. I'm grateful for it, enjoy with amanda d ke. Welcome to Loves everyday radius. Podcast brought to you about the Hoffman Institute. My name is Drew Horn. And on this podcast, we catch up with graduates of the process. And have a conversation with them about how their work in the process is informing their life outside of the process. How their spirit and how their love are living in the world around them, their everyday radius. You know, Amanda in researching you for this
conversation. I'm just aware of all the things you do, journalist, photographer, author, founder mother advocate. You say so frankly on your website, you do a lot of things, probably too many things, but you're an advocate for equal rights You interview people on your show the conversation. You write books. You raise your kids perfectly, you're a photographer, the founder of Girl, and you love cake, and you probably don't get enough sleep. I definitely don't get enough cake or sleep.
Yeah. So are you in the midst of your workday? What were you up to before this conversation? I'm having a very stressful day, and I am really doing my best to not be reactive right now. If I had a moment to use a hoffman tool, I would be logging into my app and listening to somebody's calming voice, I don't know who. But someone who I find calming who would be helping to move me from a reactive place to a more compassionate place.
I love it. You're acknowledging the left road reactive as opposed to the right road responsive. Yes. I'm in it. I am in it, and there was no way for me to get on here without being honest about where I'm at. Well, maybe this is the perfect time to do a Hoffman podcast I mean, when is it not a perfect time to do a Hoffman podcast because no matter how I am, that is okay. Alright. How long ago did you do the process? I did the process 9 years ago now. I did Q19 years ago, and I did Q22
years ago. Well, thank you for reaching out to us and offering to be on the podcast we're so delighted. And I know that you've interviewed so many amazing people on your own podcast and I think that's what has me most excited about this conversation is your your love of conversation is that true, Do you love those conversations on that podcast? You know, I have had a lifelong career of interviewing people. I started working. When I was 16 years old, I spent a year in J from 15 to 16.
And when I got out, I really needed a job, and I was somewhat une unemployed having just been in J for a year.
And, you know, god bless the entertainment industry that was excited to take a chance on a girl who didn't have a high school Ged, but who knew how to talk to people, which I largely learned from being in J. And I largely learned how similar we are, even though our external are different, that the internal experience and the emotional experience were all spiritual beings having a human experience, and I learned that at a young age because of being and J. So my love of getting to know people
and of really looking for the connections and the similarities between us as opposed to the differences start young.
It started actually as I would say a survival skill in order for me to work out who I could connect with in J. And so what started out as being a kind of, you know, survival skill has really turned into a positive for me because it's enabled me to maintain a really healthy curiosity about people and about the human condition, and I am genuinely interested in why people are the way they are.
And over the years, I've become increasingly curious about not only why they are the way they are and why I am the way I am, but how that manifests in my life and and the different ways in which those things can be assets, but they also can be very challenging at times. So what's it like to be on the other end? And be the 1 being interviewed. What do you notice in that difference?
It's not a very easy experience for me because by nature, I want ask you questions, and I have to consciously stop myself from doing that because I have a natural inclination to look at the other person and want to know what their thoughts are on something. I also observe that when I'm interviewed, it puts me in a... I don't wanna say hierarchical,
but, you know, it's... There's an imbalance in the the flow of conversation often when you're being interviewed because people are just asking you about you. And I always in my interviews try to make things more balanced and more inclusive and that it is... It is a conversation, and there are times when I wanna know your thoughts on things. So, Drew, I'm gonna do my best to not interview you, but I may have to ask you the other thing. Got a big smile on my face fire
away as you see fit. Thank you for that consensual permission Yes. Yeah. And so I imagine if if listeners are to head over to the conversation, they'll learn a lot about your guests but also a lot about you. Yes. You can listen to the conversation with a man academy. That's me. On wherever you get your podcast, but also, I've been doing the series for 10 years and it started off on television.
And 1 of the things that I have always done is been willing to share my own experiences with the people I'm interviewing because I've wanted to role model that it's okay to share vulnerable aspects of my life, and hopefully, it has given other people permission to share vulnerable aspects of their own journey with me. It feels a lot better when both people are willing to do that in an exchange than when it just 1 person.
Right. It feels so much more intimate when the sharing comes back and forth. Yes. And I'm sure you find that as a as a coach. Right? When you're working with people that that's part of... You know, letting people know that, you know, you're not asking someone to do something that you're not willing to do. Great point walk in the talk. So let's go there. Tell us a little bit about what led you to Hoffman of all things and at all times, Why Hoffman and why
10 years ago. Well, first, I wanna start by saying that I love the Hoffman process. I talk about it publicly. I give a lot of credit to the Hoffman process, nobody, you know, pays me or asks me to say anything about the Hoffman process on a public level, but I feel compelled to do so because taking the process was an integral part of my recovery journey. And I started my recovery journey when my first order was born, and I was 19 years old, I got so at 20.
So I have been in recovery from alcohol and drugs, since then, so the majority of my adult life. And had done a lot of therapeutic work, a lot of work in the group that I'm a part of for alcohol and drug sobriety. And I had really learned a lot about myself, you know, I had a higher power, and I had taken ownership for a lot of my patents, and a lot of my... What we call, you know, character defects and really looked at
who I was. And and the reason why I took the Hoffman process was, at that stage of my life, I had been in recovery for over 10 years And I felt like there was something missing. I felt like there was a deepening of an understanding of myself that I really couldn't get from going to therapy, you know, even 2 or 3 times a week, and I couldn't get from the existing tools I had in place.
I had heard about the Hoffman process as you do, where, you know, you kinda hear about it... I mean, for me, I have to hear about things like a few times before I'm like, that's so weird. Someone else was just talking about this or, you know, you start to kind of connect the dots, you know, especially with the process. I kept hearing different people in my life, talking about, you know, how it had change their perspective in such a deeply profound way,
and I like anything that works. Anything that actually works I wanna know about. Because I am a solutions oriented person. I don't... You know, I wanna as much as possible, put my time and energy into doing something that actually has a tangible outcome, and recovery is very ne. It's very hard to actually put tangible results on recovery because it is such a slow process. And so the overwhelming thing that I heard about the hoffman process was it works, but you have to be ready for it.
And that kinda scared me, but also excited me. Because I've never been afraid of challenges, and I've lived through a lot of very challenging things in my life. And so I looked it up, and I really connected with the stories that were being shared, and I connected with the concept which is actually very simple. And 1 of the things we send in recovery is that the program that I follow from my sobriety is a simple program for complicated people. And Hoffman is like that for me. It's very simple.
It is for me, no matter how hectic my life gets, like today, I'm feeling overwhelmed. The first thing I do is I go, oh, Yes. I've been living in my my intellect. I've had to do intellectual work for the last 3 weeks. I'm completely separated from my body my spiritual self has not had a look in. You know, like, I I check my... I do a quad check. And I go, oh, no wonder you're feeling like this. That is such a simple tool that I can go back to at any point in the day, and it is the...
1 of the cornerstone of the process. So I love that it is so simple. I love that I can utilize it at any time. And the very immersive experience of doing the process did indeed put me out on the other side with a deeper understanding of myself and a deeper connection to myself and to the world. I mean, how incredible is that? I'm man, I'm just sitting here me by your voice and your...
Words and the fluidity of the thoughts that come into your head and come out of your mouth with such musical physicality and such thoughtful and such clarity. Thank you, Drew. Can you take us to your process? Do you have some moments in time where you even now can still remember a moment? You know, I did q 1. Quite a few years ago, and first of all, I was lucky enough to do q 1 at the Og location. And it was a really special place.
Alright, you're referencing first the the process as opposed to the q 2 graduate 3 day weekend, and the Og location would be white sulphur Springs. Correct. Okay. It was a really magical place. I will be honest that I did not wanna give my phone up. I will be honest that I was not happy about the pillows and the mattress.
I got there, and I was looking for reasons to not be there, because I was scared to be fully present and commit to a transformation because change is always scary no matter how much you want it. I remember very distinctly that place. I remember the people who are in my group. I remember the meals, oh my god such good food.
I remember my teachers. I remember the trans thirds I had onto 1 of my teachers who ironically was my teacher for q 2, And when I got him as my teacher for Q2I called Ras, how do you explain Ras? Whereas the chair of Hoffman International and the founder of Hoffman International, and it's been a teacher for over 30 years. Ras is my teacher, and I called him and said, okay. My teacher for q 2 was my teacher for Q1I have a lot of transfer onto him.
I don't know if I'm gonna get past this, and I wanna have the best experience for q 2. And he in typical Ras Hoffman way, reframe everything for me, and I was in a place of openness and receptive. And of course, I had the most incredible experience and connection with that teacher because I shifted my perspective. So going back to answering your question about the process, not q youtube, but the process. It was like things came into focus, in a way that they hadn't before.
And it was like a little pot in my hot? You know, I'm super emotional today. And I have to say that talking about the process, which is 1 of the most powerful experiences of my life, connects me to how I feel. And so inevitably, when I talk about the pros You know, I have feelings that come up because it was so profound, and it helped me to access parts of myself. That I don't think I had really embraced and paid attention to my entire life.
That was profound you know, it allowed me to really look at my childhood with a lens of compassion, and forgiveness, sorry. You know, and I'm okay with this because this is this is truly part of me. You know, I I'm a very empathetic person, and I have beautiful big feelings. It makes me good at what I do in the world because I feel things deeply.
And the process By the way, help me to accept and take ownership of that as a human being because in the world, some being someone who has a lot of feelings, and who's very empathetic. It's hard. There's a lot of judgment of people who feel things deeply. What I learned in q 1 was true acceptance of all aspects of myself, and connecting those so that I was in the world as a more unified human being being spirit led. That's the best way I can describe it. And it sounds like part of...
That was the authenticity of your spiritual self to be that big hearted em emphatic feeling expressive person that you are. That is a big part of it. And that is an ongoing commitment to that part of Amanda. I use the tools on a regular basis to keep allowing space for that because we do not necessarily live in a world that values those qualities, and especially in the industry that I'm am in which is the media industry.
It is somewhat at odds with the modi Opera brand that most people come from, And so I've often thought, you know, I've really picked an interesting industry to be in with bringing my full self, to the table here. And in fact, why I did q 2 was over the years, I had begun to deny parts of myself again and become disconnected in order to operate in the world, Because for anyone that's done the process or is thinking about the process,
Hoffman creates a very safe place. And for many of us, it's the first time that, you know, we've experienced safety. And what comes from a place of feeling safe is so magical that I've wanted to create that safety inside myself from then on because I know the value of it. And so I did q 2 because I knew that I had kind of gotten away from myself in the way that I knew I was capable. Yeah. I got away from myself in a way that I knew was not the path I wanted to be on.
And so when you interview and sit down with your guests, I imagine you're also attempting to create that bubble of safety for them in their conversations with you. You are absolutely right, Drew. I want to create a space where people feel safe, to be who they are without judgment and to know that I am looking at them with curiosity. I am listening to them with curiosity, and I I really don't have judgment. I mean,
It's interesting. I've interviewed women for the last 20 years of my career, and I've interviewed women from a vice president Kamala Harris to people like Lady Gaga, and, I mean, just so many in incredible, Alicia alicia Keys. Just amazing amazing woman. And well, let me reframe this. What I've decided to do, is to interview men over the last year, and that is the series I'm about to launch and people have asked me why you interviewing men? Don't he feel men already have a platform?
And they do, but not in the way that I've have tried to create because to have a space that is not judgmental and is really seeking to understand Like, I am really seeking to understand where men are at because they've had a monumental cultural awakening, which is a great thing, but masculinity that the original concept and constraints of masculinity have been shattered.
And if we are to reconstruct masculinity in a way that is healthy and is supportive for not only men, but all genders then we need to have men's voices help shape that narrative. It's no good women sitting in their space saying, this is what men should be doing. Great. But if men are not involved in that discussion and that planning and ultimately, that execution, what good is that? And so the space I've been creating to speak is 1 of except and curiosity and lacking in judgment.
And I have to tell you that acceptance the conversations I've been having, whether it's with Matthew Mc, who is, you know, a world renowned actor who had so much to say about masculinity, about toxic masculinity about the things, the qualities in a man that he found admirable about how he talks to his kids about consent about how he was taught about consent by his father, how he navigated a very traumatic experience as a child,
and how that helps that shaped him. The things that he was discussing, which I think need to be discussed were so beautiful and so fascinating that it's an interview that you don't normally hear men speaking in this way. He's just wanting, but as many men I've spoken to you who have shedding cr insightful vulnerable insights about themselves and about men that have just blown me away. It's beautiful.
I imagine part of the reason you wanna do that is because you get to curate the environment, the questions and push them a little bit towards what you wanna talk about, the the important
things that need to be talked about. And so that feels like so much curiosity that you bring to your conversations and yet also a lot of leading in terms of who you bring on and what you talk about your pushing dialogue about subjects into the culture that aren't necessarily what's being discussed in the culture. You're absolutely right, and that is my objective. And I very much pick the people based on what they can speak to. Now what I hope they can speak to.
A lot of the time, Well, all of the time, every single interview I've done, the men have spoken about something that they had not previously discussed on a public platform, And I don't know what that thing's gonna be because obviously, it hasn't been made public yet. It's a point of view. It's a perspective. It's an experience.
But I know that there is immense value in men not only showing their strengths, but also their vulnerabilities, and I do know that shared experiences help us feel less alone. That has been true for me. And I very much want to send certain conversations. So I ask questions, around the topics that I think are important. There's a through line of conversation topics that kind of have bubble up. Some of those are toxic masculinity is 1. Porn is another 1, hook up culture is another 1.
Race is 1. Healthy love versus toxic love, vulnerability. These are some of the themes that have come up, but that I have also asked direct questions about because I as a woman who is married for 20 years to a man and who has a teenage of 15 year old son, I'm curious and want more men to talk about those subjects. So I I do try to steer the
conversation towards those things. Some people are less interested, and they change the subject, and I try to push them back to it and, ultimately, I let them lead. Because it is a collaborative experience. But, you know, those are the subject matters that I... Feel some of them. Some of them. I'm sure as I keep interviewing, there are more that are gonna cut come. There's gonna be
more common threads that show up. But those are just the first ones that have kind of bubble up through line themes in your interviewing women as you look back on that chapter of your conversations, who stands out to you, what conversation stands out to you as 1 that was heart centered and vulnerable and really transparent about what was really going on.
Drew, I know that this may sound unbelievable, but I will tell you that every single 1 of them had those elements and that's why the show affected so many people because I launched this series before social media, and people had never seen social media has only been around for 10 years, or, like, 8 years or something. It it doesn't seem possible, but it's true. And I launched this right before social media kind of blew up. I think Twitter had just launched at that time.
And people were not used to seeing and hearing the most famous women in the world talk about the vulnerability of life, and their vulnerability of the experience of being a woman and we talked about things. And by the way, I still do the conversation where I talked to women. I just didn't view day with... 1 of the only, female war journalists who's 1 of the main journalists on Cnn Clarissa award, who is in, you know, war zones reporting frontline, because she has a fascinating story. She's a
mother of 2. She's married, and she is risking her life to tell stories and we
need to hear. So I'm still speaking to the women, but I think overall, people had just not heard that level of authenticity and honesty in that way before, which again, just confirmed to me that, you know, we want to feel connected, and we connect through shared experiences, whether that is through the specifics of a story or shared emotions and what I try to do in my interviews is to allow the emotions to have a space, where they can be felt.
And therefore, my audience can feel their own feelings, mirrored in those past feelings. How did you get there? I'm listening to this. I'm listening to how you articulate that. I create conversations where emotions are allowed and encouraged so that people can feel and witness their humanity. It's part of what I heard in that. And so I guess my question is, how did you get to this place? I know you referenced J. That's coming in as I asked this question. But
Like, why you? How did you get to this place where you're the 1 creating these kinds of conversations and leading the way? It's it's incredible. How did you do that? I thought about that often actually. I've thought about why am I even alive. Why did I survive severe drug and alcohol addiction as a teenager when I had multiple near death, calls.
Why did I survive multiple sexual assaults as a child and a teenager, why did I survive the trauma and addiction and all of the things that I survived, and the only thing that I've come up with, is that I have always felt like doing what I do In the world, my job has put such great purpose and has given such phenomenal meaning and value to all of those things.
I've been able to empathize and to care deeply about people, and about making the world better for people because of where I come from, and I have to say that There are very few women that have a platform to do what I do. In fact, the platform I have is actually very small. Hundreds of thousands of people around the world look at what I do. That is not an insignificant number.
But it's not millions of people as it would be is if I had my own, you know, Tv series or I had millions of dollars of marketing behind people you know, my own streaming show, or, you know, I'm not on a major network or a major platform. Because I do talk about these things that are at times challenging and provocative and challenging the status quo. So, you know, It's not an easy path to have picked, especially given so few women
actually get to do this. You know, there are women that host daytime television they're confined to talking about people's outfits and who's having sex with who. You know, there's the occasional news anc, there's actually Rachel Mad who just quit a show to do a podcast cost, but there's very few women that do this. And so why did I pick this? Because I definitely could have had an easier time doing something else. And I and I do... Periodically when it really gets tiring in the trenches
think, why did you choose this amanda? You really could have chosen something else. But I feel like it shows me And I feel like my consistent prayer has been, please. Guide me to the place where I can be of the most service to as many people as possible. Please utilize all of my skills, all of my abilities, all of my blessings, in service, of helping other people. And whatever that looks like if it's... I'm writing a book. I'm making a Tv series, I'm doing a podcast series, I'm writing an
article call. I'm whatever it is. I know that that is what I'm supposed to be doing. Because let me tell you I checked in with my spiritual self many times. And I was like, are you sure about this? You sure? Because this is really hard and sister needs to break, you know, So I've definitely checked in, but I do believe and I have to go with what feels like... What I should be doing. I've said to students and graduates in working with them around connecting to spirit.
That there is hard work required to get to spirit and finding your way to your... Essential nature. But once you do get there, all you have to do is listen. And I hear you listening and being guided by when you say it chose me. Is that how you see it? That is how I see it. You know, the Hoffman tools, I I was joking, you know, I sent Ras photo the other day of me at the airport. With my earbuds and doing with my hand... I doing a hand on a heart meditation.
This is a moment of suffering, a crisp ne, you know, little meditation, and I sent him a picture of me at the airport doing it because I continue to check in with myself and use tools on a regular basis, not just hoffman tools, but my recovery tools to stay in tune with that voice because what I find happens is that life happens and the filter. It's like the Ac filter Like, it's so hot in La right now. And I was, why is my room not
cooling down? Because the filter was dirty, and the guy had to come and change the filter. And I was like, oh, that's how it is for me with with my higher power with my spiritual self. The filter gets dirty, and those little tools are the things that clean the filter on a regular basis. If I don't do that for long enough. That's when I need to take a course or do, like, Do q 2. You know what I mean. It's like, those are the things that keep me in keep me aligned with my purpose.
Whatever that may be? Earlier you were referencing about the dominant culture, And and I just wanna go there for a second because I think 1 of the things in the work you do and in the work we do at Hoffman is that on some level, we're really encouraging people to swim upstream, that if they listen to what's happening in the world around them, they may not do the things required and be the way they need to be that part of this work is realizing that you wanna be different than the
common narrative, the dominant culture. And so how do you see that in your own life and in the guests you interview that this is really... Swimming upstream going in a different direction against all the narratives that were fed every day. I live that every day, Drew.
I wish that our culture supported this kind of work anywhere close to the way it supports earning money because I sort of feel like if we could flip the priorities, people would be earning money in a much gentle way because they'd be connected to what they're calling was in life. And when people are connected to themselves and 1 another I think it would just solve a lot of issues because, you know, there's less violence. There's less anger. There's more
collective consciousness that is positive and loving. And I have been a I'm okay with being an out outlier. I'm okay with being different. I'm okay with not being a cut fitting in with what culture prioritizes.
Because I did that when I was young, I was successful as a young person hosting live late night television, and I was the product of popular culture, and I was fortunate enough to have success at a young age, right after I was in J. And I was just as unhappy as when I had gone into J. And I thought, oh my god. This is terrible. This is terrible. I have got took all the outside stuff. I married to him. I look like this. I earn this. My
status in the world is this. People view me like this, and I still... Don't care about myself. I'm not inspired to live. I don't feel creatively motivated. I don't care. And it was so devastating to me that I had achieved what popular culture told me would bring me happiness and it didn't goddamn work.
And I'm so grateful that I got that lesson firsthand because a lot of people don't get to have those experiences, and they just wonder they're, like, oh, maybe if I was really famous that would make me happy. And I got to have all those things. I got to have All of those things, a young age at 19, and I was miserable. I was spiritually bankrupt. And that is why I'm okay with being uncomfortable and doing the work because I know what the other way is. The other way is not the answer. I know
that. If I hadn't have had that experience, I don't know that I would. Be so okay with how much work it takes. And by the way, that's not to say where I don't... Like, I interviewed Ga ama mat a few weeks ago, Oh, god, just the grandfather along with Be Van coke and Peter La. Of trauma, trauma work, and trauma recovery. And and I was saying to him, do you
think there's ever a time? Is there ever gonna be a time in my life where I don't have to do so much work to not be impacted by my trauma you know, by my reactivity, by my my dark side, is there ever gonna be a time where I'm completely free from it. And the truth is I don't think that's gonna be the case. I think it has lessened immensely.
I think that I've learned many tools, but I still have growth periods of which I've just come through a year of 1 of those periods, where I'm just on the tail end of that, you know, I was like, man, I haven't had to up this hard since I just got out of J. You know, like, what is going on? But like, that's the path you pick. You pick to be asleep, and, you know, follow whatever everyone else thinks is gonna bring you happiness. Or you choose to say, no. That's not the answer. I'm
gonna find out who I am. I'm gonna live authentically, come what may. Come what may. Do you ever... This this a random question? But you... At the beginning of this conversation, you referenced what you learned in J and the curiosity you develop. In trying to understand who these people were. And have you ever gone back to the building or the campus and looked back at that period of your life.
It's interesting you bring this up because I'm actually developing a script series right now that is focused on those, teenage years of my life growing up in London in the nineties, printed and I'm am revisiting the social workers notes that she took. My case worker wrote extensive notes, and I am reading those notes. It's taken me about a year to get quarter of the way through because it's so sad, and it's a lot to process I wasn't able to do it before now.
I mean, I started about a year ago, but it's something I wanted to do. And I'm actually in the Uk and November, and I am going to go back to the facility for the first time. And I want to have that experience because I want to be able to, as an adult, you know, so much of the kind of hoffman work and trauma work is rep parenting and re... And rep parenting ourselves.
And I want to be able to as an adult who I am today, go back to a place where I was at my most broken and vulnerable and in despair and be able to stand in that place and have a different... Emotional response because I'm a big girl. And I and I have the tools to be able to have a different experience today, and I know that will be profoundly healing. Very much like what we do in Hoffman where We ask students to go back in time and be with that little being.
You're literally doing it when you go back to the Uk in November, you're gonna go back to that building and have a corrective experience, if you will. Yes. That's exactly what I'm doing. Wow. You know, as a as a as a straight white male, I know that the messaging I get around what it means to be me in the world is part of it is comfort. You have a right to comfort. And I don't...
No 1 has ever said that to me, but when I hear you talk about the messaging that men get and I know in my work with students and grads that the step onto the right road, the first step on the right road, people tend to think is 1 of acceleration and excitement and connection to spirit.
And in reality, it's 1 of discomfort and awkward and a little confusion and odd or weird, it can feel a little dis, and I think we have to embrace that and message that that first step is actually an indicator that you're on your right road. What is your take on that? What's interesting to hear you say that even though you had articulated it previous that 1 of the messages you get as a cis white male is that you're supposed to be, the expectation is 1 of comfort in life.
Obviously And that resonates with me. I'm like, yeah. That makes sense. That that's what, you know, the messaging that you will have... You the the culture would have given you. Because this is the Cis white male world and you run it and you... It's prioritized and set up for you. And if you think about so much of of life, about being comfortable. Like, all the things were sold, all the products is gonna make it easy you. You can... It's gonna be less aggravation washing your dog or it's
chain... You're taking care of your car or, you know, looking good or whatever it is. It's is about ease and comfort. You know what I mean? Efficiency, ease, comfort, it's all about not struggling. And I think you're right that advocating for discomfort being an experience that is actually desirable. Like, just because you're uncomfortable. It doesn't mean
that's a bad thing. In fact, to your point, most often when making a healthy change, a positive change, it's so uncomfortable because you're taken out of your comfort zone. That's why we say the comfort zone. It's like, you're out of your comfort zone. It's... You don't know anything, and we build comfort zones to feel safe in the world, and a lot of the time they're m active comfort zones.
And so once you start doing this work and certainly with the process, all of those m adaptive comfort zones and narrative ti and patterns that we've created to survive. It's not anyone's fault. It's like survival skills that for a long time kept you ti alive and kept you safe, but at some point, if they're m, they're gonna start to kill you. And that's when As Hoffman so beautifully says when you are ready for change, you get to Hoffman.
But it is not for someone that is not ready for change because it is uncomfortable. You have to go through the discomfort, part of the the antidote to discomfort is compassion. We talk about that in the process a lot. And I think what's also true especially for straight white men, cis white men is is humility, humble. Like this is an indicator of your humanity. So let's be humble with what is being revealed to us. And not see it as some character defect that we need to cover up.
Humility is not considered a strength. Overall, in some circles of course it is, but for the average boy growing up, not just in America around the world, What he is being bombarded with is money, success, women, affluent assets. It's all that stuff. Nobody is saying, seek humility as much as you're seeking private planes. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I would like a private plane with the word humility painted on the side of it. That's what I would like, please. You know?
So, you know, I'm trying... I guess, like, I always joke that what I do is I make things that are a vegan protein bar and a sn is rap. That's what I do. It's nothing fancy. At the core, I'm giving people something that is good for them, and it's nourishing. But on the outside, they think it's a snickers bar, and so they're like, oh, great. Snickers bar. But actually, they're like, oh, I don't feel like shit when I consume this. I actually feel better.
You've been able to make things palatable that other people haven't. What do you think the secret of that? You pal is, like how do you make something that isn't tasty, tasty? I think. Because of the lens through which I talk about these and I approach these things, I sit at a really interesting cross section of cultures. I sit in this... Really great place. I str, pop culture, music, film, television, entertainment, politics, so I'm deep, you know, an activism.
So I'm working and collaborating with legislators with activists, whether it's journalists who have broken some of the most significant stories around sexual assault ever, legislators, senators, you know, I, that side of things, and I'm in recovery, I've been since I'm 19 years old, so I knee deep in actually what it means to be in recovery. And so I have that community and those ideals. And and I str kind of all 3 of those places.
And so the lens through which I speak about this stuff is a hybrid of all of those elements. And I think that makes it not 1 thing or the other. You know, it's like, I can speak to different communities, and I somehow, I'm able to kind of combine all of those interests and all of those avenues of information and resources. It's like baking a cake like, I put all those ingredients in, and then what comes out is this kind of like weird amanda cake that...
You know, that has all those ingredients in it, You know? And it's it's my life. It's like, that's the gift of inhabit all the communities that I inhabit. And I inhabit all those communities based on my own life experience and what has been my... Shoe authentic interest in calling. So it's like, I don't even know how this is how the kate... You know, these are the ingredients, but, like, the cake that comes out seems to,
you know, have impact. Hopefully, enough people are able to hear what I'm saying I'm like a conduit for other people's stories, and so, ultimately, like, I look up myself as the vehicle. For people's stories or with my company Go, I'm the founder of a company called Go that connects tens of thousands of women, trans women, non binary folk around the world who are on a platform, and they're able to be hired for creative jobs.
So I really did leverage my privilege in order to get other people in the door in the creative industries. And, like, that was just a kind of, like, where do I need to be to kind of be of the most service. I'm an unlikely tech founder. I have to be honest. I don't think it is... No. No. I don't think. I know it is not the way for me. I do not wanna be a Ceo and founder. That is not my calling, but it is what I needed to do in order to get something.
Alive to get it living to get it breathing to get it moving, and then someone who's really passionate about it, needs to come and take it over, because that is, I know not where I am best of service. It does not, you know, speak to my ultimate skill set. But I just feel like I try to be a conduit as much as possible. For whatever it is and whatever stories and concepts. And ideals need to be put out there.
Amanda you've referenced inhabit those communities and and the amanda take of all of that coming together and out pops what you help create in the world, And when I heard inhabit those communities and all the different cross sections of the cultures that you stand at the crossroads.
What I also hear is that in the conduit that you are being, you're also inhabit the internal communities inside of you, owning all of what's happening in your internal world, including the stress of how you showed up, it not being a good day, the tears and the vulnerability as you reflected on your Hoffman experience. What's it like to bring all of your internal community out to this external community that you've come to know so well? In this conversation. It's a really great observation.
It's the only way I want to live. I don't feel like I Well, I do have a choice. Every day I have a choice to bring all of myself or only parts of myself. You gotta read the room obviously. Right? You know, if I'm doing a podcast for Forbes, I am certainly not gonna be bringing my... Emotional self and to to the to the degree that I would when I'm speaking to you right now on the Hoffman podcast, where you know, you have to read the room and you have to know, oh, it's
safe for me to bring this here. It is not here. Here, I need to lean on the intellectual. Part myself. Here I can let my spiritual self run free. Like, you gotta know where and when is really important and that comes with time and experience, but ultimately, I am working on, and I'm continuing to work on allowing all aspects of myself, and my experiences to come with me wherever I am, You know, I kind of look at it like, sometimes I dial this 1 up and that 1 down. Sometimes these 2 are dialed up
and that one's down. But knowing myself, and knowing all the different parts. I mean, I love, you know, Richard schwartz work with internal family systems, which is when he talks about parts and our internal parts, and you know, I very much relate to that. It ties into Hoffman work with our aspects for our quadrant. I I'm working on being as whole as I can in as many situations as possible. Whilst reading the room. That is what my focus is in September 20 22 when we're recording this.
Reading the room while, also staying true to your essence your essential nature. Yes. Because that is what people will connect with. That is what makes people different. Everyone's unique. Everyone's true nature is different and yet all of our true natures speak a similar language. So when you show up with your true nature, and I show up with my true nature, we can speak and connect in a way that is only reserved for for when you
show up with your true nature. And I believe that that is the place where the conversation, the inspiration, the choices that are made are divine. Come amanda a cad. Thank you. How are you feeling at the end of this conversation. I'm so grateful. I feel good, Drew. I feel good. Thank you for, creating a space at allowing all of cells to show up here today with my anger, my tears, my vulnerability, my wisdom, I feel seen, and I'm am grateful.
Where you headed to as a as a mom and a Ceo and a host, what... What's the rest of your day hold? I am launching my series September nineteenth, and so I have a lot of focus this afternoon on what my marketing assets are gonna be, and what those will be will be focused on the topics and the conversations that I really want to center with this series. So that's my afternoon is picking those quotes and those video clips so that people can really know what this series is about.
And for our listeners, we will fill our show notes with all kinds of fun, informative links. To your work and anything you referenced during this conversation? Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you so much. Drew. Thank you for your time. Thank you, Amanda. Okay. Bye bye. Bye bye. Drew Thank you for listening to our podcast. My name is Liza and Rossi. I'm the Ceo and President of Hoffman Institute Foundation. And I'm Asking Rossi. Often teacher and founder of the happiness institute foundation.
Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love. In themselves in each other and in the world. To find out more, please go to hop institute dot org.