Today, I sit down with Anne Hoc, who shares how her healing journey deepened. When confronted with a life threatening cardiac disease. An an effort to heal herself, she began to explore and educate herself in everything from eastern medicine, natural modalities, spirituality and everything in between. She found incredible healing on all fronts, and credits hoffman to helping her solidify her life's purpose and truly
understand self love. Anne is the incredible founder of you healing a retreat based in bali and continues to dedicate her life and her purpose to healing others through sharing her gift talents and most importantly, her loving heart. Enjoy. Welcome to Loves everyday radius. A podcast brought to you by the Hoffman Institute. My name is Liz Sever and on this podcast. We engage in conversation and learn from hot graduates.
We'll dive deep into their journeys of self discovery and explore how the process transformed their internal at external worlds, it's They share how their spirit and light now burn brighter in all directions of their lives. Their loves. Everyday radius. Hi, Anne. Welcome to the podcast Thank you. I'm just so delighted to be here. Well, I think 1 of the the cool things about, you being here is where you're joining us from. So if you don't mind, sharing a little bit about where you
are in the world. I'm in Asia at the moment, so I'm sitting in an apartment in Singapore, but my home is in Bali. So I've... I've come here for... I'm a stop off before I head up to Dubai for work. International traveler. Yeah. Who's Keen probably to begin to clip her wings a little bit. Fair enough. Well, do you mind sharing a little bit with us and the listeners about who you are and let you do in the world because it is so beyond fascinating.
Oh, well, thanks for that. I guess the shortest version is that I try very hard to show people how to feel better physically, emotionally intellectually spiritually. Maybe better than they have in days or weeks or months or decades, and and there are a variety of ways of doing that.
And I've been doing this for at least 20 years, because I really believe that when people don't feel well or haven't slept well, their ability to be a service to themselves is really limited which then means that their ability to be a service to family community planet is less. So that's kind of the down of what I do. Although I I don't tell people that, but they figured it out after a while. And, like I said, I've doing this for 20 years. So my background is in public health medicine.
And I had a pretty traditional career to begin with They work for the National Academy the Institute Medicine in the Us secretary for help. Blah blah. I was a real bench geek. And then I got hit myself. So I was a Ceo of a a small for internet related company. I had been a triathlete prior. I was fit. I was happily Married 2 kids and down I went. So I've had...
Multiple surgeries at say 10. I've had 4 strokes, 4 near death experiences all in the company of a cardiologist, and I'm on pacemaker number 2. In that context, I avail myself of everything I could that was western and that was gonna hopefully keep me alive. But once I got to the end of that shopping list, I realized no one's giving me much of a life expectancy, why don't I start looking on the natural side? Decide that I, of course was such a
medical sn. I didn't even agree or believe it existed. So I took a deep dive in all of that, and I put a lot of that into play in my own life. And, honestly, I've been so well ever since. I'm completely medication free. I do have a pacemaker, but I'm not pacemaker dependent, but my family would like for me to keep it in. And it's been quite a a humbling journey physically.
So what I'm hearing is that the main catalyst to kind of tipping into this more natural healing and kind of spiritual emotional began with this physical illness or this physical ill of your of your heart. It did, and it's actually really telling that it hit me at at heart center. But, yes. So I... At that point realized, this this is happening to me, this is actually happening. I knew it was true. When I started putting in the
methodologies and modalities to get better. They could tell immediately that there was a positive impact. On the degree to which I was pacing. So when the first pacemaker went in I was pacing half the day at night, which is unbelievably uncomfortable and very draining on the body And when you say pacing, F... So when your pacemaker fires, so it has certain parameters set. So if I went above a hundred and 27 or... If I drop below 40 beats a minute. So that's your
pulse. It will pace me. And so that feeling is, like, having your finger in a wall socket if you've ever done that or if your computer charger, but a lot more than that. So it's a very internal landscape feeling where it's, like, but nobody on the outside. Is aware of what's happening. And so that was that was happening, like, more than 50 percent of the time. And now I pace 0.01 percent of the time. So basically, I don't pace. Congrats. Well, III know.
I know... They didn't made the birthday cake for that or balloons for that. You know? It's like, happier worth a happy no pacemaker. Yeah. Well, I know. I know more of your journey with that. So that is that is a huge accomplishment. But we're I'd love to dive deeper into this because I think that is we talk so much at a hoffman about the body expressing, you know, what we repressed. And so you said you were interested that it hit you at heart center.
And what about that kind of tweaked with you and and Did you find interesting? Yeah. So I... Thanks for the question. I mean, I practice, medicine and healing from the mind body perspective, meaning that the body, is messaging trying to talk to you all the time. And then when you don't... When I don't listen, it talks louder. And then if you really, really don't listen which was my case. I walked right into a swinging baseball bat metaphorically. And so the fact that it hit me at heart center
and resonates with me over the years. I didn't know this, of course at the time, and I would have thought I was another to have implied this could even be true, but I was and continue to navigate the reality that I'm an over give, an over nurture that I always stand last to receive the best of what's available to be given or be received. I grew up in a... I often say terribly, but just, let's say, now normally dysfunctional family, we're
love didn't have a language. Love was we wouldn't do this to you if we didn't love you. So it was kind of a negative response negative reaction. My mom was a an incredible athlete, and that was what she wanted to do with her life, but got Mary in the... In the fifties had a first child boy child, and then the second child 4 years later was me.
And she was quite honest later in her life that that she didn't want to have another child, and she definitely didn't wanna have a girl child because she didn't know what to do with that. So I'm pretty sure that I talked a lot of early messaging in the shadow compartment of. I wasn't wanted. I'm not loved. I have to be perfect to be worthy loved no matter what you do, It won't be good enough. You have to take care of yourself because no 1 else will, you know, self reliance is your key
survival skill. All these things that were set down, early on in childhood that interesting and honestly served me very well. I mean, I I was very successful, professional because I was this hyper eager to please don't know when to stop. Person. So was it... Would you say that... Because... I hear this all the time. Right? I'm... I don't wanna let go of things because he's actually served me, whether their patterns, beliefs, whatever it may be.
Do you think it wasn't until the physical manifestations that you kind of paused and it that was brought to light or had some of this churning emotionally been happening prior? Great question. I think the churn was happening since I was 2. I think the subliminal messaging in the way I was responding based on that has been in my body, my whole life. I think not until and probably not unless, I did end up going through this terribly terrifying cardiac experience.
Would I have ever stopped dropped and paid attention. To what was going on. I always did that because my actual life expectancy was on the line. No no 1 thought I was gonna make it through this. And so when I realized that, Like, why? I have 2 young kids and husband Adore. I've got nothing to lose. So I'm gonna open the whole thing. I'm gonna open every can uniforms. And I saw a counselor who I still see an absolutely door. And that process began to safely and incrementally
encourage me to look at it. And so, from there, kind of beginning to open the doors Right be beginning to look inside. Where did you go next? You kinda dove into some of the emotional? Because I know I know this natural healing world and all of those physical emotional components are such a big part of your life. When did you kind of make that leap over and realize. Okay. I believe this this is working. This is healing me. I wanna learn more.
Okay. Can I ask you? Have you ever been so sure of something that you that you're quite stiff about it? You're just sure that you're right. Of course, there. Okay. Okay. So you can resonate with that feeling Like, don't don't even try to change them because I'm quite sure. Okay. So I... It just pains me to say it, but it's just true. I just have to be humble enough to say it's just true that that was how I felt about Western hospital pharmaceutical based medicine. I... That... Was how I was
trained. Right? And so here I had this experience where I start moving into the natural world and it's working. That and it's working quickly and it's actually working in a way that's measurable, which was important. So my medical team was seeing what was happening, of course, discounting at the entire time out of love and concern for me mostly. But Something open, like, a a large beautiful, door opened. And I decided that I would allow my intellectual snot sn filters to
retire a little bit. And so I went on to you asked what was the first. So I got trained in Rei by, 1 of Asia's best Rei masters. I started feeling things with my hands. I started knowing things, but I didn't wanna make the symbols and she gave me the freedom to say then don't use the symbols. You just do whatever you wanna do. Then I on to study body talk, h therapy, all kinds of other eastern ways of accessing pulse therapy. So you read people's pulses and know a great deal
about going on in the body. So I I just decided that I would experience as much of all of this kind of another world as I could. And each time I did what's something about it informed me. It was kinda of like, you know, when you get in the car and you're trying to tune into radio stations and a lot of them sound a little bit off. This process for me was allowing me to actually tune in, so the radio station was coming through loud and click So I was beginning to know
things. This this is where I sound really weird. But if it's okay, it just is my true. So each time I had 1 of these here. Mini strokes. I came back with an ability, that isn't considered normal. So I I could see things. I knew things. I was receiving video clips, I would be on a plane or in an elevator, and I I knew what was up for that person that that they needed to have this can't honor that there was this... Certain issue wrong with their liver. And I didn't know what to do with
it. So at that point, I really felt like I was moving into crazy lady land, Fortunately, again, I was able to find out here, people who had navigated these I wanna say God given, but I don't wanna put anybody off by that because I I... The it comes from elsewhere. It's not me at all. It just it just travels through me. And I know that because each time information came, it was 100 percent accurate. And when I shared it 100 percent of the time, not only was it accurate, but
it helped. Somewhat. And is are those gifts abilities? Is that something that you still are blessed with today? Is it still something that you bring into your work in your job and kind of with your retreats? Yes. I I think at 1 point in my life, I don't think I know at 1 point in my life. Tried to walk away from what was happening to me because I knew that I was being judged by other people that I'd lost my mind, you know, that I'd lost my filters at my Intellect was had gone down the drain.
So I I knew that I was paying a price for it in certain realms. But very fortunately, again, this lovely counselor. I remember him, in a conversation with my husband saying, you know, is this okay with you, Steve, and he was like, well, it... She's not the person I married. And a counselor, you know, Calmly said, well, can you describe what the changes are and, you know, how how bad they are kind
of thing. And as Steve described the changes, he realized as he was talking that there's nothing wrong with these changes. Right? Because, I mean, he he has a master degree in mythology. So while he's an incredible intellect and does all kinds of normal things during the day he he totaled off to get a master's in in mythology. So I knew I was
safe. And then, I started crying because my counselor said, do you do realize that if anne stops using these gifts, she will die, and he meant both emotionally as well as potentially physically. I agree with that. I think that it was hard coming, but the gifts that have come our gifts there are gifts that I use in my work with myself with my family with all that I do with you healing. And I understand that that is why I'm here.
And that if I stop being of service, I will stop being of service and and my time here will likely close out. But I'm not worried about that. Because as I said, I I had these for observe near death experiences. So I'm here for as long as I should be here, and then I'm there. That and that's okay. Yeah. What, and I'm curious, you know, as you're as you were talking about, recognizing some of these patterns and the beliefs of? I don't mean to say people please.
I don't think that was the exact words that you used, but some of these boundaries? How do boundaries show up in your life? And how have you created boundaries because it sounds like even though you recognize that you are such a give, and it is still something that you do this very much part of your life, how do you set up these boundaries now for yourself? Okay. So I could giggle for a long time because I have to admit that in my early forties so when all of this happened. I had
no idea. What the word meant, except for, you know what an equal fence or a border of a country, But I I had no idea what boundaries were. I had never been taught what they were. I had never set a boundary. I probably wouldn't have felt safe, setting a boundary. So that took lots of time and lots of reading and and courses, and I have been somebody who's just sort gobble up everything that's out there that I think is is legitimate.
1 of the questions that got positive to me early on in all of this was in a world with no judgment under underlying math 3 times in a world with no judgment. What is the most self loving thing for you to do right here right now? So in a world with no judgment, what is the most self loving thing for you to do right here right now. And that... Kind of long sentence with a few commas in and has guided me ever since.
So I have this ability to feel in my body when I'm out of sync when I'm not okay, either where I am or with whom I'm spending time or what the conversation entails. So I know when I'm not comfortable, and then I ask myself my question. And I've only, maybe in the last 10 years of my life, and I'm on my 6 decade in the last 10 years of my life, Have I really, understood what boundaries are and how to safely and appropriately
lay them down, share them. And the gift for me is I have 2 daughters that just turned 27 and 26. They are so talented in this area. They are so practiced and skilled that they call me. They call me up on it in mom. What do you really wanna to be doing right now? Like, I might say, hey. Didn't we must stop and get a cappuccino. And they'll say, Would it just stop walking, they'll wheelchair on and go mom, do you want a cappuccino? And I have to check in and go,
actually, I do. They could. So would you like to go get a cappuccino you? Yes. Would you like for us to go get a cappuccino with you? Yes. Okay. So I have these 2 angels flanking me a lot of my life helping me. And you've mentioned a couple of times you healing, and I know that is the name of, your company and richie and tell us a little bit more about you healing specifically, the Oh, I love to talk about this. So you'll just have to ring a Cal bell to get me to be quiet.
So you healing was birthed out of what happened to me. I remember literally being... In my cardiologist office with about 16 young tech guys trying to figure out what was wrong with the technology instead of what was right with me. And I started to cry and so to my cardiologist, but I wasn't crying, like, you know, it was just... There were there were tears of bliss as they say, up in R ke were. I knew I knew what had happened why did it happened and where I was supposed to go with it. I
didn't have an earthly clue. How, but I knew that that was what I was supposed to do. So I started you healing. I started for the first 6 months seeing people free of charge because I wasn't really sure what would flow through and what my purpose would be. It became very clear in those 6 months, and and many of those... Early clients remain clients of mind to this
very day. And so what I do is I I work with the body physically, emotionally intellect and, We unpack what's going on in physical is easy, emotional is a little bit harder. Intellect is usually super easy, and spiritual is usually where we have a a few knots. To un anti. And I then put together the best care plan I can based on everyone's belief systems to So if it's more hospital based or chemotherapy, for example, then then that's in the care plan. But then I I,
knit in everything else that I... Know to be true in terms of how to heal the body. And, in that, I also do a lot of work. On a I'm a, black belt forgiveness coach because what I recognized is it in a lot of unwell comes the desire to be forgiven order forgive someone else? And the other piece is is trauma. So I think I'd had mentioned to you earlier in our pre call that I'm going forward to get either a masters or a masters in a Phd in trauma informed counseling because that's what I'm finding.
Is 1 of the first movers for all kinds of disease, ease be it physical or emotional. So my job is to sit and listen which I do most of the day listen, look to see what isn't being said so negative space, and usual. I end up feeling like I'm probably 1 of the top 5 people in that person's world, who's really for the first time ever fully witnessed them without judgment. And I know part of the... If that's 1 on 1 work, and then the retreats that you hold fasting is a large portion of that. Is that
correct? Yes. Care to speak a little bit more about the power of vest and why you've brought it into your work and kind of made it such a, crucial part of healing. Okay. So the first quick answer would be, we know now, factual clinically evidence based medicine that 80 did 90 percent of anything going wrong whether it's acne or or leukemia on has to do with the gut. It originates in the gut. So gut health is everything and positive gut health lays down a red carpet for health generally.
How I got involved with it was a friend of mine who was my master in every way. So let's do a retreat together. We brought together people who were high acuity. So they had 345 diagnoses, very seriously ill. They sent all of their paperwork to us in advance, And we asked them after the end of 7 days to go back to the same doctor, same lab, same radio, etcetera too have AAA check in. The reason for that was to be able
to compare apples to apples. We did 1, and then we did 2, 3 and 4 of those high acuity retreats because what was happening was a large percentage of the people who came were trending in a very positive direction and their medical teams were saying, things like this is unheard of or, you know, this is impossible or this is, you know, quote a miracle. So at that point, I thought I was trying very hard not to do it, but it became very clear that I was supposed to do it energetically. It was
clear. So I just... Decided. I'm gonna go with this. I think this is what the call is. And the more I do it, the more I realize will come in thinking they might lose weight. Look a little prettier take care of leaky gut or whatever. But by day 4, they're very much in the fourth chakra in the heart space, and they are opening up blessing out, becoming very clear about the direction of their life. And by the time we close on day 7, no one's the same.
The room is just so high because they're letting go not only of their physical if I'm allowed to to be crude. They're letting go of their physical crap. But they're also moving into the, power of getting into the emotional stuff. And then the disconnect to spiritual. They're fasting the... For the entire 7 days just on water or what is the... What's the protocol? It's water plus fo botanical, so they're herbs
that I... Worked on for years now to put together that are non gmo not sprayed with any pesticides. I understand anatomy physiology and actually taught it. So I do know how the body works. And the herbs go in and work with each pathway of detox justification and support each organ in the hard work that they're doing. Most people aren't hungry. So first question... First question, I'm always asking. Am I get a star where Gonna die.
So far, no 1 has and, you know, being hungry as a thought, but most people don't suffer. Well what I'm curious because for me, what's coming up is I think the the... It would be more of a mental challenge. Thought Right. And so I'm curious is that come up for people kind of the the mental fort to be able to abs upstate from food for that 1. In all the years, I've just had 2 people actually cheat, and I can tell when they do. So... And that's that's a lot of people
who haven't cheated. And then the other is it the self selection of people who who fall into a practice like this are usually very high achieving, poly perfect. Drive myself very hard.
And so they they set themselves up to succeed, And part of my job is to distract them and so we're together for 4 hours a day or more, But we're together for 4 hours a day, and my job is to distract them and and be funny and goofy and and give them information in at least come to denominator way, so they can take it on right then and and change their life, What I'm curious about is the kind of taking this holistic approach of the body of the mind of the emotions of
the spirit and so you're saying kind of first... Pathway in for these retreats that you set up is is the, fasting. And then are there other practices brought in to sort of support you know, an emotional deep dive or spiritual connection or quiet that intellect? Yes. So the Intellect gets quiet probably by by day 2. And then by day 3, kind of round dismissed from the retreat. And people feel it. In the retreat, I'm trying to drop in as many of the...
Practices that I use to try to help me be better day by day or year by year. So while we get through the content and it's relevant for fasting and how the body works and what the bauer ph is and how to breathe this if your life depended on it, by day 2 or so top of day 2, People usually really open. So then I sort of scan the room and figure out what it is that people might like to talk about. And in some places we, like in Bali, people go deep very quickly because they have a a culture
of trust and it's deep. In other places, let's say New York or to dubai per chance. There are issues with trust. People traffic and other people's information. So I have to be aware of that. When you ask me earlier about boundaries, that's that's my job. And people say safe space is just a bunch of language, but it's actually, of a spiritual practice to great safe space so the people can afford to be themselves. Absolutely. I mean, I think that's I think that's the power of creating a
safe container. It is it's and, like you were saying sometimes just witnessing people for the first time. In a way allows them to finally feel safe, and, okay, I can begin to kind of release and reveal parts of me. Yes. And and I wanna really honor the Hoffman process. I'll try not to tear up with this. I really wanna honor the Hoffman process I caught myself the other day, it was a casual dinner party, but someone was was suffering, and I was sitting next to that person.
And they were talking about, you know, what do you offer with you healing. And I said, I went to the hop in process and explained blah, blah blah that. I think we'll
get into that warrant. But I said what I what I came out of the hop and process with was non judgment that I walked into a room with people that I thought were better than me, looked more put together than me, only to realize over the course of the of the course and getting to know each other that we we all share the common human bond of the buddhist version of suffering. By the end of that week, I would have given anyone. In that room kidney. Anyone.
I couldn't find judgment in me anymore for the experiences that they were brave enough to bring and share. And that has lasted in me since then. Well, let's dive in. And when did you do the process? And how did you hear about it? I was hoping you'd look that up. I don't know. Okay. It's been a number of years. So Steve and I, my husband. My first husband in my forever husband. We have been married 35 years, and I think we went around 32 years. Or 30 years maybe.
Because I remember saying to him, while I love you deeply and completely, and I wanna be together forever I don't want this version of the relationship to be the version that we go 30 more years with. And we had come up at the time we didn't know what was happening. But we had come up against 2 pretty powerful triggers. My trigger for needing to be seen whole, witnessed completely in my mess and my beauty
and glory. And his trigger of mess being a place it's very unsafe, very dangerous after armor up or run for your life. So that's just 1 of a couple of things that were happening for us where it's I wasn't feeling safe with him. He wasn't feeling safe with me, but we were very much in love with each other. So the good counselor I alluded to earlier in a session. Very gently, arrived Steve at a point. And he needs a hop informed counselor. That's probably critical.
Arrive, Steve at an understanding that there might be some shadow driving him. And maybe he would be well served to go. So Steve went and 3 months later, I went.
And that process, I talk about to everybody anywhere all the time around the world because it has changed our relationship forever when we hit moments that are really difficult, we have some of the skills that are hoffman or hoffman informed that we use regularly to understand what's happening and to be safe and to move back into a loving space of trying to heal that it changed everything. I went...
Well, I was glad that Steve went because if I'm honest, I was sure that everything that was wrong in our marriage was his fault. I was absolutely certain about. I, how could it be mine? Oh my god. How could it be mine? So he goes, and I'm also terrified. This probably resonates with other couples who've done it because as he's coming out hoffman, we're at our daughter's first year college parents weekend. Little bit loaded. And so that that could inform me as
to when we did it. So that's probably now 8 years ago. So I don't know if he's gonna come in a saying, I wanna get divorced. I don't know if he's gonna come in giving me all kinds of information about our marriage that I don't know. I have no idea So there's a part of me and that's it's terrified because I was a really big girl back then. I just stayed out with my daughter and to college party. So by the time I got back home to where we were staying in this Airbnb.
He was asleep. So I I felt kind of a metaphor few that I I wasn't gonna have to do with it that night. And then the next morning, he was so loving, so clear about his learning. That I almost didn't know what to do with it because I was so brace for the opposite. I was so terrified because I had heard right or wrong. I don't know. I'd heard a lot of people could to hoffman, and then a lot of people divorced within, you know, days or weeks after. So I have that in my in my mind.
I do not know where that rumor comes from. I don't. But because what I what I hear more time and time again is just what you're speaking of is this, 1 partner is blown away by the partner showing up differently than they've expected differently than their previous relation, you know, the previous way they'd held the relationship kind of allowed for and they're, like, what? And then through that, they'll get curious. And it's like, well, I gotta see what this is all about. So how was it for you?
It was amazing. I I think I had 1 of the best small groups. I think I had an incredible large group. I went in December at I also built in a lot of time as Hoffman had suggested that I do afterwards, which was really also a a follow on epiphany for me. To To move into that solid suit. I will say that my little person showed up. My little person was still sure that She was most of the problem. I knew I'd had a up childhood And I knew a lot of things had happened to me that were trauma inducing.
And I I knew that they'd had a negative impact shadow impact on me. But I still went in thinking, well, you know, Made a lot of interesting people and I'll probably learn some skills. And Su was my... Small group leader. And I I just remember her Eye I contact right at the right moment. I remember her coming over and sitting on that couch it was in the back of the room, and me just going blah blah blah blah blah and her non interrupting me and then
me just starting to laugh. It so I would shift from crying to laughing like an insane person. And she would just start laughing with me. She was so skill and gently, so encouraging me to sit in my own stuff, which I honestly think took me 4 days to do. Well, that... And that brings me to my next question, and I love to ask all of our guests this. When is a moment in the process... Says that you remember that you feel like really
landed you there. You're, like, great. I'm so glad I'm here or could've have been blown an insight wide open for you or something that just deeply moved you. There were so many that I'm sure are are common to people... When... You know, you hear people tell stories. And for you just can't believe the courage for them to get out of bed and brush their teeth. You think you put yourself in their boots and think, I I couldn't I could not have survived that. Much less thrive that.
So so there were many, many moments of that. But a moment that changed me and actually was a healing for me. And again, I'll try to get through this. I had been brutally assaulted and raped when I was 14 almost 15, really left for dead. And I was in... I don't even know what the room was. It might have even been the main teaching room. By myself kind of in corner with 1 of those big fat pillows that we pounded the hell out of. And I was holding it at my chest, I was just
shaking, kind of uncontrollably holding this pillow. So I was fully in this traumatic experience. I was I was fully in the memory of it. And I was so upset with myself that at the time, I could not call out for help. I couldn't do anything to save my life. Although, ultimately, I did. And I didn't know that there was anybody else in the room. I was so in my own Idaho. I had no idea, that there were 2 people in the room, and the 2 people in the room were men.
At some point, I felt that there were other bodies in the room, but I was I was crying my eyes were swollen, my eyes were shut for the most part. And in an instant, from that knowing that there were other people in the room, they... Not gonna make it through this. Okay. Were These 2 men who I do know because they're in the larger group. They're not in my small group. They come 1 on my right and 1 on my left.
And they are holding me so hard. So they're actually kind of hugging each other, but I just happened to be the jam in the middle and they're holding me so tight that this t response that I'm in the shaking of my body feels very safe. And so I just let it ripped. I I don't know who they are. I don't open my eyes, but I feel really safe, and I can feel their breath, and I can feel their heartbeat beats. That's how close we are. Like, a 3 where 3 hearts And they're just whispering in my ear. I love
you. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I think they kept saying you're safe. And I'm just balling and it's all coming through, and IIII eventually, and I don't know if it was. 5 minutes or if they were there for 2 hours.
I stopped. The t the fast physical body response stopped I let out this unbelievable, like, mammal animal in pain grunt, and I opened my eyes, but that moment of having 2 relative strangers, move in without any tension and hold me and heal me and whisper to me what they did was again life changing. At that point, I lifted up into pure una forgiveness of the perpetrator of that crime. It was gone. I and I I felt... And I can tell the story that without feeling any pain. So that was huge for me.
Beautiful. I thank you so much for sharing that with us. I think the highlights just 1 of the many ways that, you know, being in that as we keep talking about creating this safe container and allowing that emotion to kinda complete in a way, You know, space to experience something that perhaps you'd been avoiding or, you know, unable to look at. It's beautiful. And as we think about the process. How do you feel it lives in you
today? I know you said you talk about it a lot and you you know, share it with others. But how do you feel like it kind of, you know, the the podcast we talk about Lu everyday radius, And I think it's just a beautiful sort of imagery of, like, how the process moves us changes us and how it ripples out and impacts those around us. Okay. I'm just wiping tears away with a, very rough paper towel I should have known. They say there's a harvard study for every time you cry. You gain a day in life.
My kids are always like, mom you're and live for freaking ever. I love that. I I did not know that. I did not know that fact. It's apparently a study that's been repeated. So your question is how does... How does the process live in you today? What are some of the ways? 1 of the first things is my ability to love myself. I think really began at Hoffman. I had words around it. I had some counseling around it. I had some other retreats and things that I've gone to, and
I understood the words. I understood the value of it but I don't think I really had any practice around it that was functioning. I left with a a deep deep understanding of who I am, And I left with that deep understanding of who I am without the degree of shame that I had around my shadow patterns. I realized that I'd spent half my life put in a hurting on 1 person in my life when actually, there was another person that I my whole life couldn't afford to see in the light of day.
Hoffman brought that light and awareness to it. And I was also through a couple of practices that we do while we're at the Hoffman experience. I was able to move into deep forgiveness. First acceptance, and then into deep forgiveness for for the reality that there were there were several perpetrators. So 1, I think is self love, which is a practice that I regularly that questionnaire we're with no judgment, what's the most self loving thing
you can do right here right now. I ask myself that a lot, and I try to operate more from that. Because I have historically been an over. In my relationship with my husband, on my good days, when I'm all full up I've done my meditations, and I've done my self care. He can safely go sideways, and I can hold that space and know that this is actually not about me. This is a bid for love because he's in pain. So I don't need to brace. I don't need to armor up I don't need
to run away. I don't need to protect myself. That when we do it is an amazing experience in our marriage. Where we can shift things and change things right then. There are other times that maybe I don't have that capacity or I can't be that person for him. So it's it's definitely continuing to work like a live current moving through us, the skills that we learned at Hoffman that we continue to use and that we lean in when we feel out of sorts again, which, you know, does obviously happen.
With my work, I feel like what I do is I off for hope. My backpack is full of hope, and and that comes from hearing other people's experiences, which is what some people say hope stands for. So I've heard so many stories of pain of shame of... And I I think that a Hoffman, as I mentioned earlier, allowed me to not just intellectual open hardness and lack of judgment, it allowed me to really feel it because I received while I was there. Pretty much from everybody in our group all
the time. And I I do feel when I sit in my client work, that is that is what I'm able to offer. I'm able to listen and see it as it is without any judgment. Of the other person or really any need to fix the other person. And I think the last piece is that I felt this way before. I grew up in a a quaker. My grandparents were quaker and my grandmother was... Well, both of them were were a tremendous service. And so service was something that was
served for breakfast. You know, it's if you have any skills or any anything, whether if you have 10 dollars give aid away, if you have intellect 90 percent of it O teach. So I've always been... Person of service. But I think Post hoffman, I became very conscious about what it is that I'm actually doing. But what really is my reason for being here, And I feel quite clear with that. So I would I would credit a kaufman
for all of that. Well, I could probably dive in and ask you a million more questions because you touched on so many... Pertinent, big, loving and intriguing topics. So I wanna thank you for that, and I really wanna thank you for, sharing with us your Not your mantra, but you're... You know, that question you ask of yourself if if... So I'm hoping you could repeat it once more for us. I can. In a world with no judgment? That's the big part in a world with no judgment.
What is the most loving thing I can do for me right here right now. Well, thanks. I hope that question allows people to ponder and pour some love into themselves. And so I wanna thank you again for spending your morning, my evening with us and just opening up and letting us see a different side of you. Well, thank you. I... It is a different side because I never talked this much. I'm always in a posture listening, so I
appreciate you listening and listening so deep. And again, I just wanna wrap my side up, by saying that out of all the things that I've gone to and and the world that I have searched over, the Hoffman process is and remains the most powerful thing I ever did ever that and I share that reality with a lot of people. And I always say, you know, when the when the pain is staying the same, exceeds the pain of change go. Don't even think about it just go. When life arrives you at that at that
place. And everybody knows what that feels like. Right? It's the perfect time to go. And it's a gift that we've offered our daughters, who I said we're 27 26 when it makes sense when they feel like it's relevant for them when they have enough life experience underneath them because they both recognize recognized that their parents are not the same. It's And therefore, our family is not the same. It's better. Well, thanks again, anne. You're very welcome. Thank you.
Thank you for listening to our podcast. My name is Liza and Grass. I'm the Ceo and President of Hoffman Institute Foundation. And I'm Ras Rossi, often teacher and founder of the Hop institute Foundation. Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love. In themselves in each other and in the world. To find out more, please go to hop institute dot org.