Marissa And is today's guest. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it with Marissa, my friend and colleague. You know Mrsa has so many natural gifts in working with students. You'll get a sense of why that is. But, you know, 1 of the other things I I'm really am grateful for about Marissa. Is what a great colleague
she is. The process is intense. As teachers we work side by side, breaking bread together during meals and meetings, and there's no better colleague than Marissa I am so grateful to work alongside her and hear her humility and her deep wisdom, in this conversation, Hope you enjoy. Welcome to Loves. Everyday radius. Podcast brought to you about Hoffman Institute. My name is Drew Horn.
And on this podcast, we catch up with graduates of the process and have a conversation with them about how their work in the process is informing their life of outside of the process, how their spirit and how their love are living in the world around them, their everyday radius Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Hoffman podcast. A byproduct of the Hoffman process, both have Hp in their name, Marissa and Grass, welcome. Thank you. Hi, Drew. Hi. It's great to be having this conversation with you.
Yeah. I've been looking forward to this. Marissa, you are the marketing manager, you're a hoffman teacher, you're a Hoffman supervisor. You started spearheaded and brought us onto this platform called Instagram. Where us non technology people knew nothing about and how many followers do we have now? I think we have close to 43000 or maybe just over 43000 followers? Wow. Yeah. And and that's all only in the last couple of years during the pandemic. So... Yes.
There's so much that... You are connected to around Hoffman, including being raised in a kind of Hoffman family with Res, and Liza as your mom and dad. Is there anything else I missed in this intro, a former used to to do a lot of musical theater? Right. I grew up doing musical theater. No. I think that that was very inclusive of the many hats I
wear. It's what was it like to be raised in a a hoffman family with Hoffman, teachers, people who were so close to Bob and have been involved in the process since you were born. You know, it's... Funny because people ask me that question all the time, and I don't really have a good answer for it because it's I don't know how it would have been any other way because it was just my experience. It was my childhood, although, I have to say it wasn't... I mean, thank god. It wasn't.
Pushed down my throat or something like that. I mean, my parents have patterns like all people do and there was a big part of my childhood that I don't know. Just felt very normal, I guess. And it's kind of all you knew. Right? Yeah. It... Well, it's all... We all know. Right? Or our our parents and our family system, our family of origin when we're... You know, I don't know below the age of 8 or something? So as you got older and started to... Understand other people's childhood hoods.
Maybe you look back and realize, oh, there was a little hoffman stuff in there. Yeah. There's a very sweet kind of memory that I have, and it's woven throughout my childhood, but this particular memory, I think illustrates it well. I remember... I don't know, being scared of, like, a monster under my bed. When I was little. And I just... I have this memory of
I don't know. I must have been, like, 5 or 6 years old of my dad sitting with me on my bed and telling me that I was protected by light and that we all were and that I didn't have to worry that first of all, that there weren't... There wasn't any to be afraid of, but that in addition to that, I could imagine this light that is just that it was always around me and that nothing that I didn't want. To enter it, could that I could protect myself from any energies that I didn't want near me. And
I don't know. The way he said it, when I was that age was probably a little more age appropriate. But This was a a theme throughout my childhood certainly, as it relates to my dad and kind of that early introduction of spirituality. Beautiful. And was like, he was inviting you to create your own little sanctuary. Yeah. He was, and to feel protected and and boundaries too, like, I could be the... You know, I had agency. I didn't... I wasn't,
like, a victim to other energies. I could claim my own energy. In my own space. Such an important thing to set boundaries to say no to that energy, and yes, to. Your own light. What a unique response to the monster under the bed, Not sure many parents have given that light, going into the light response as a parenting tool to the imagined monster under the bed what a beautiful anecdote? No. It was fun remembering it. And then now, I guess, as an adult and
and working with them. They're your they're your colleagues. Right? They're my colleagues and my boss and, yeah. How is that part of... The relationship like, to grow that up and now be adults with them together. It's surprisingly normal. And very natural and fluid, and I certainly like it because I get to connect with them. And work creatively with them on a, you know, pretty frequent basis to collaborate in that way and to have a shared mission, so to speak is really cool.
And the relationship of them as my parents, then them as my bosses or, you know, colleagues, however, you wanna call it and You know, we'll be on the phone, catching up about normal life stuff, and then I'll remember that I needed to ask a question about something related to work. And so we kinda go back and forth like that in a very fluid way. Yeah. That's amazing. I I do have to attest too. There are times where...
In observing you all interact. I can't even tell that your family, You're just you're straight up, you're you're acting As if your colleagues, it's it's pretty cool to see. And then every once in a while, it'll sneak in with a little hug or something. Yeah. Well, Matt Bran again, who has also been on the podcast and is our director of faculty and vice president and colleague of ours. He very early on was like Marissa.
You cannot call them mom and dad when we are in business meetings or talking, they must be liza in ras. So, yeah. I got very, I'm very good at it. Column them liza in ras. We'll go... I'll go through a whole process and, you know, refer to her as lies in. No 1 knows she's my mom. Until they see you paired together sometimes in front of the classroom, and then they're like, oh my gosh. I see the resemblance it's always really sweet. I'm... It's it's a really cool part of working
together. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that that vulnerability of being the daughter of, it's always a unique role. Marissa, I wanna ask you about, well, I guess the pandemic, the loss of white sulfur springs, the the role of Instagram coming on as a whole part of our, of our work with graduates, what has that process been like for the Institute for you? I mean, there's a loss and a rebirth? The new sight. So much change in such a short period of time. I was on that.
Last teaching team of, you know, March 20 20, when we realized about mid week, Wow, the world that these students are going to be released into and that we're all. Going to be released into is a very different world than when they entered. Now, of course, there was lots of talk about Covid 19 and worry and concern, before they came into that week, but there
was a turning point. I don't remember exactly what happened, but it was while we were in the middle of that process that the world as we knew it changed. And I remember how we approach telling everyone at the end of the week and entering into this upside down kind of reality that everyone was thrust into, across the entire world, I mean, I remember at the time, particularly in that first couple weeks.
Feeling very connected to humanity because it was like the entire globe was going through, this thing at the same time. And for Hoffman, you know, it meant canceling all of our courses So if that was March of 20 20, we didn't attempt to go back in person until September. Of 20 20. And then it was that first process back that we lost white sulfur springs to the fire and had to evacuate that process.
And then, of course, everything that happened from March to September was all of this innovation and creating, you know, hoffman essentials, the 2 day hoffman essentials course, which, you know, our design team did such a fantastic job of creating and ended up being such a powerful virtual 2 day course, and then the Instagram lives, which was so awesome. It was like, oh, wow, We can provide some connection or solace or community by doing these Instagram lives, these quadrant check ins and
appreciation and gratitude. And in those early days, you might remember, we would also jump on there and you know, talk on a variety of other topics or interview other people on Instagram live. And so there was this very, interesting creative time that in the midst of all of this suffering and terrible loss that the community was, like, fortified or strengthened in this way that it wasn't before at at least, Not digitally. If that makes sense.
It does, yeah. Can be that kind of contrast can feel like a paradox like we're the world is shut. You know, the economy tanking people are sheltering at home, and and yet at the same time, there's deep connection together without being together and powerful innovation for us as well. I remember con convenience as teachers saying to 1 another. How are we gonna reinvent ourselves when our core offering is in person. We just weren't online people. Right? No. We weren't.
It is kind of wild for me to think about how kind of online we are now, and how it was 2 years ago, So, yeah, we've come a long way in that regard huge growth in that way and growth edge and we went through growing pains and still are in certain ways, and, yeah. I mean, you referenced growing pains. We are fully waitlist and training new teachers as fast as we can, but wanting to maintain the integrity of the new teachers coming in.
We're bursting at the seams with with new students and certainly the pandemic maybe be made it harder for people and exposed parts of themselves that they wanted to work on, but it's full steam ahead, isn't it? It is. I really think that people need the process now more than ever, and it's more relevant in a certain way after the depths of I don't know that I wanna say despair, but just the different depths that so many of us have been through, in the past couple of years.
I think that people are really ready. You know, I I notice a theme, I think amongst students now maybe more than before, which is that They're just really ready to dive in and do the work of the process to step into the mystery of whatever is gonna happen for them and to be present to it. I noticed that 2, and I'm not sure I could have framed it the way you just did, and it reminds me of when I first got out of the process I did would... What we were told not to do. I was like a process push.
And I And what I've realized is that people have to be ready. And that sounds cliche, but it really is true as an immersive. Oh my god. It's so true. And now that we both teach. You know how important that is to have a student that is ready. Let's break that down a little bit. Why is it better to be ready? Really ready? Well, it's funny because I don't want it to be... I don't know. I'm thinking about people listening to this and maybe we haven't done the
process yet. And So there's no, like pressure or a particular thing that you have to do to quote unquote be ready. It's more like a state of being, maybe it's like Well, ways I would describe it are curiosity, enthusiasm, connected to their own pain and just like, alright. Let's do this. Let's step into the unknown, so to speak. I know I already said that, but Step into the mystery,
see what happens. And, of course, there's resistance for everyone that's a part of, I think everyone's process in a different way that patterns show up. So it's not like you have to be without resistance or without questioning or even doubt. It's more, like I don't know. Yeah. Certain state of being. Like, alright. Yeah. I would agree, you know, it
reminds me of that quote. I forget who said it, but and it makes sense, change happens when the pain of staying the same, is greater than the pain of changing. Yes. I know that quote and I don't know who says it either, but it's really good, and it's really true. It's so true. Change is hard, and we've gotta want it so badly when staying the same is even harder. That's good. So Marisa take us to your process. How long ago did you do the process? Let's see. I did the process.
I think 15 years ago. 15 years ago. Take us to your process. What's a a moment in time that you remember from that experienced 15 years ago. So much of it is a blur in certain ways. I don't know. What this was like for you after, of course, you do the process first before you become a teacher, and then you teach it a whole bunch and go through all kinds of other relationships with the process and the material, and then to return back to that original introduction.
It's a little bit hard for me to think about a particular moment. However, what I do remember is at the end of the week, bursting with love for my parents, not knowing that I could love them that much, And with that, also love myself that much too, and I just remember this feeling of being happy, And that was so much of before I
went to the process. I remembered part of what brought me to the process was feeling really lost, and not connected to myself and kinda a feeling like there was something wrong with me and at the end of that week, and not being able to stop smiling. I just was just like, wow, It blew my mind and my heart and it was like, oh, I get it. I get it. That kind of getting it. Sounds like it it's cellular almost. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. It was a knowing.
It and it was almost like a remembering of what I had always known, but had forgotten. Wow, this... And when you say a a, like a re remembering of what you had always known. I'm I'm thinking about... Like, maybe you didn't remember it intellectually, but the other parts of your quad certainly remembered it. Yes. My spirit certainly, and my body... Yeah, the experience of it was, oh, wow. Yes. I feel free. So for people who have taken the process after that, freedom that you so experienced.
What tools do you use in your own life that have helped keep this work alive inside you. Good question. I think my
relationship with the tools have... Has... Evolved over time and certainly right out of my process, I was using them, I think in a different way than I do now, and then other things have gotten a lot easier and more almost automatic, Like, recycling and quad checks are really, I have my own way of doing them that's fast and it's so I don't know, and ingrained in me in a certain way that I can do that. But I remember this it's actually during the
pandemic. When I was really distraught, I think it was over all of the loss, certainly lost of business totally in uncertainty about what was going to happen, what we were gonna do And then it may have even been around the time that our retreat site burned down. And it dawned on me that I could map out a left road in a right road. It looks like wow, of course,
this is so great. So I sat with my pen and my paper, and I drew a left road and a right road map and I just with all of the patterns and thoughts, negative thoughts that were coming up dark side messages. I just wrote them all down, like, a brain dump almost of just, like, what are what is going on right now? What am I...
Feeling what am My what are my judgments about that, what am I doing in response to feeling and thinking this way and So I got a really nice list, you know, that really was a good indication of my dark side, all that left road stuff. And then I shifted over into right road not denying that that pain was happening because that pain was.
And I always like to emphasize this to students and grads is that, you know, we use this left road right road model to help differentiate between patterns and spirit led authenticity or essence, but that on that right road, in our authenticity, life is still really hard at times and challenging. So it was more for me about okay. I'm not judging myself for feeling this way. I feel this way because what's totally normal that I feel this way. This is really challenging right now.
But how can I meet that? How can I be with myself in the midst of this challenge that is more nourishing to myself that maybe is creative? Like, what do I asking myself also like, what do I need? To return to my wholeness or remember my wholeness? Yeah. I... And I hadn't done that in a really long time. Mapped out a left road in a right rub but it was really effective. I was, like, wow. This really works. I have to say I have that experience
sometimes to his. Picking up a tool or a practice and being like, what what was I thinking? Why didn't I do this earlier? This this this shit is good. Yeah. There's something in there, Marissa In yours about the humanity on your right road? Will you say a bit more about that? Like... This stuff is normal that I'm experiencing, and I'm still on my right road even though I'm experiencing these things. Yes, I think it's really important that remembering
is super important. Otherwise, I've seen it happen with some people where black or white thinking around left road right road is like, right road is always supposed to be happy, and that is not the hallmark of the right road. We are meant to have our full range of emotion, we cannot
cherry pick. If we wanted to always only feel happy, we would have a very limited range and also our range of joy and ecstatic sp and all of that would be limited too if we weren't able to let in the pain of life and to acknowledge it. That's pretty good stuff right there around, so you can't have 1. Without the other, if you want more joy and love and connection and freedom, you also have to be open, to the potential of pain and sadness and loss as well? Yes. It's situational appropriate.
1 of the things that I think is important when you're doing, like, a, mapping out a left road and right road is that you write the situation up at the top of the piece of paper. So whatever it is, that you're going through and let's just say I wrote down, retreat site burn down in the middle of a global pandemic. There are some really situational appropriate difficult feelings that you would expect to come up. So it's not helpful denying those.
I like how you reference the situation as a way of normalizing, these specific reactions that might come due to that particular situation, and there's lots of allowance in that. Yes. When I am in the most suffering, it's when I'm in resistance to what is. And sometimes what is is really bad. It is really hard. Yeah. It won't say bad. Is really challenging. And being in resistance to it or thinking that I should feel a different way about it or be better is not helpful.
It's a detrimental actually, and it's a surefire way to stay stuck or in it longer. That's beautiful. I'm really grateful that you're sharing that in the way in which you're sharing that because I just noticed myself breathing and being like, yes. Like wanting to breathe that truth in. And live from that place of almost the permission to be with what is and not to
resist it. I remember actually drew something that you set, I don't know if you remember saying this, but this was during the pandemic that you offered this You said, I don't know about you, but this is my first pandemic. So I think I'm gonna, like, let myself kinda navigate this 1 and see how I do and, you know, whatever it is the... Were saying it was just... It resonated so much for me. And I think that that's a good analogy with so many things
in light. Particularly when we are in great challenge. Oftentimes, it's something totally new, you know, whether it's a breakup or a difficult diagnosis or something happens in your family, it's like, well, I've never done this before. Lots of grace. I just hear lots of grace. Of offering to ourselves grace in those moments.
So I can't tell you. I'm sure you experience this too and coaching people we can be so hard on ourselves, You know, something really terrible happens in someone's life, totally outside of their control, and the dark side messaging comes in so fast telling you how you should be doing it differently or that, the worst kind of dark side message for someone who's done the process is to use your own good work or maybe not the process only, but, you know, any personal growth
work is to use that against ourselves. Oh, you should've have... You should know how to handle this because you've done this work on yourself now or something... It's just Awful. Marissa, I was asking you at the beginning before we pushed record something about, like, what do you notice in graduates who are able to thrive and hold on to their experiences versus those that struggle And I think you said something similar. Is that right? Yeah. This is a a good segue into that because...
Self compassion. That's it. Self compassion. It's not aggressive use of the tools. Or making it to every Instagram live, it is self compassion. It's the recognition that they're human and that they are going to make mistakes because we all are. And with that, when we talk about this a lot in the process with self compassion also comes self forgiveness and owning and taking responsibility for one's life.
Will we talk about this, you now, we've been talking about right road, but this my life is my responsibility. Is it's like, okay. It's really hard right now. Alright. That's a part of life as being in the midst of challenge and difficulty And now what self compassion represents to me is the ability to return to yourself. And to remember your wholeness that you have experienced so many times during your life, but
particularly and is a pretty broad sweep. I think I speak for most people that they experience that at the process, and it's a state that you can return to. It lives inside of you because it's an inner knowing and experience. Marissa, you,
I think I've lost... Heard you in the past, I'd love this where you reference the the importance of practice, I'm chuck because it Whenever I hear it, I'm like, gosh, I have to remember this for myself to practice in small stakes practicing with things that are small stakes so that we're ready when the big stuff comes around, would you help people understand that. Yeah. I talk about this in relation to accessing messages from...
Your spiritual self is it's like, it can seem like, really big, like, wow, message from my spiritual self. And I think that when it's too big like that, that it feels overwhelming or daunting or like, I can't get there. So I often normalize it by say, just... It's listening to your own inner wisdom to that little voice inside that doesn't have to be so little. So you can press just listening to it in and lower stakes situations like, you know, asking your spiritual self what... You
know, what do I wanna wear today? Who you're getting dressed in the morning. And trusting your instinct or intuition and and following that, it could be, like, you know, what do I wanna eat for lunch? Or, you know, any number of things. But small... Little, you know, and even making a practice of, like, okay. I'm gonna try for 3 times today. I'm gonna ask tune in to my spiritual self and ask for guidance. And it's in building that muscle that it is so there for us with the bigger questions.
And when we maybe really need it most when we're perceive ourselves to be in trouble or we're really caught in a challenge. Fantastic. It's almost like we're building that neural pathway towards our essence, our spirit. So that as you said when we really need it, it's there for us because we've asked it what it wants to eat what it wants to wear what's important to it right now in this moment, even though this moment is just a random moment.
So so good, Marisa, what's it been like to... I don't know to reflect on your childhood with your mom and dad and talk about this powerful thing called the hoffman process that you're so integrated into throughout every area of your life, powerful Well, wow, when I hear it said back that way, it sounds lofty, like it. But, like it integrated into every aspect because man life is hard, and when life is hard at times, it can... I don't know about you, Brings me to my knees.
But it's always a joy to talk to you and to talk to you about the process and life and I love that about our working relationship and really across the board with the faculty. It's 1 of the things I look forward to in teaching the process is the teaching team and who do I get to work with this week and what wisdom do I get to soak up? And it's always changing. We're always teaching with different people. I so agree with you that team, aspect if we're doing this work shoulder to
shoulder. So this is a a little bit like that in a way. This, you know, being able to reflect and talk about the process, and I appreciate it. Marissa Ing, Everybody. Thank you, Marissa. Thanks, Drew. Thank you for listening to our podcast My name is Liza and Rossi. I'm the Ceo and President of Hoffman Institute Foundation. And I'm Ras Rossi, hoffman teacher and founder of the Hop to foundation. Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love.
In themselves in each other in the world. To find out more, please go to Hop institute dot org.