Welcome to the Hoffman podcast. This is Love's Everyday Radius, A Taste of 2021. Sharon Moore, how good was this recording that we did together as we reflected on all the great conversations we had? Oh, it was such a reminder of of the beauty and the power and the strength of people and their resilience and their stories. It actually reminded me of what I, what I love about this work. That's what you and I came away with. We hope you enjoy these episodes and are excited
as we were to record them. You'll get lots of snippets. 5 from Sharon, 5 from me, Drew, for a wonderful, unique taste of 2021. Welcome to Love's Everyday Radius, a podcast brought to you by the Hoffman Institute. My name is Sharon Moore, and I'm one of your hosts. My name is Drew Horning.
And on this podcast, we catch up with graduates for conversations around how their internal work in the process is informing their life outside the process, How their courageous journey inward impacted their personal lives, but also how it impacted their community and the world at large. How their spirit and how their love is living in the world around them. Get to know their love's everyday radius. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Hoffman podcast. My name is Drew Horning, and this
is your special episode. Right, Sharon? So special. This is, Drew and myself reflecting on this past season and, giving you a taste of some of the podcasts that we found memorable. This has been fun. We've been sitting here together a couple thousand miles apart over the last couple of hours, listening and reflecting together and talking and asking each other. What about that one? What about that one? So I am looking forward, Sharon, to this,
recording with you. I I was just gonna say this is an important moment. We could continue to move forward and transition to season 4 and keep doing what we do, but I think this is a nice way to pause, reflect, enjoy the work that we've done and and these beautiful people who we have featured and connected with in this last season. That's great. And season 3 has lined up with much of 2021. And so we'll also get a little taste of the year that it's been for all of us.
What do you have first, Sharon? Let's see. I would love to start with a clip from an episode with guest, Hope Edelman. She's so beautiful and, has done some really powerful and important work in this world. And she talks here about this moment in the process where she experienced, as a 51 year old, feeling like a grown up for the first time in her life. We did a counting circle near the end where we said, you know, we sat in a circle and we we, counted and said our ages out loud.
And I was 17 when my mother died, and I had always felt that a part of me was stuck in the past. When we counted, I think at the time, I was 51, and I should have stopped counting at 51. But when I got to 17 in my mind's eye, I took the hand of that 17 year old self, and I walked with her all the way up to 51. And it was such a powerful moment. You know, it was it was spontaneous. The instructors had not, you know, told us to do that or told us that might happen. It just happened all on its own.
And after we were done that evening, I remember feeling like, wow, you know, I actually feel like a grown up, maybe for the first time ever, and left Hoffman feeling like I was integrated again. Oh my gosh. Are you kidding me? Mhmm. Isn't that beautiful? That brought tears to my eyes. You know, I was thinking we couldn't do that at the beginning of the week. And that's at the end of the week, her taking the hand of her 17 year old when she reached that number and then walking it all the way to
51. Sharon, that's beautiful. You know, you and I have talked about this before, but part of the gluttony with playing this role and reconnecting with our graduates and hearing their stories just reminds me of how strong and impactful and important this work is and hope encompass that beautifully. I wanna go to Ebony Williams who references, you know, there's so much to the process, so everybody gets something different out of it because there's so many things to choose from.
Oftentimes people get similar things, but Ebony talks about the power of her classmates and, the power, that Hoffman gave her to show up as an ally. And I just love this clip. I am so especially grateful to my process at Hoffman, to my small group, to the ability to to forge the deepest connections in 1 week you could ever imagine.
Because of the, I think, the intensity of the work, I think just the innate nature of the process, you leave a week of connecting with people and you feel like you've because you you have. You bared your soul to these people and they have to you. So I can't even try to, to articulate the depth of
what the intimacy of the relationship is. So to have that deeply intimate relationship with people that but for this process, I I certainly would have never known shows up in ways like that example, you know, where now I am able to go out into this world and in my community and be a better ally, a coconspirator, in fact, against harm and and hate towards people that that exist outside of my own
community. And I think I'm very grateful to Hoffman for that, and I'm grateful to my classmates and my my processmates for that. Wow. I love how she talks about those connections that form in that week. I experienced it as a student myself, and I see it time and time again with the students and how powerful to imagine that what that produces is somebody going out into the world as an ally, as a coconspirator against harm and hate. Wow. Wow. Well said.
Yeah. The broadening of the circle and exposing of people, that she said, but for the Hoffman process, I wouldn't normally connect with. Quite powerful. I would like to let's do, Julio Alvarez. He was a, obviously a graduate, and he speaks here of one of the greatest gifts he got being the ability to forgive. And for those of us who have these relationships in our lives that we are just so eager to get to the other side, but can't find the way to forgive. This is a beautiful clip with that. That
is really my moment. One of my big moments from Hoffman was my ability to forgive and now have this man be a part of my life and see him as who he is and have compassion and empathy for everything that happened because I now understand that he was a teenager. He was moving He came to this world not speaking into America, not speaking English, being around all these hot shots on the on the railroad, these union guys, and he needed to show up
and be a certain self. And I didn't reflect back to him what his idea was of a son. I had glasses. I was a little chunky. I had white skin. You know, he's Ecuadorian. He's much darker. I would prefer a compact presario over a soccer ball any day of the week. You know, at the time, I love you know, I was all about computers and geeky stuff. And that that just didn't map, and we were always at odds.
Sharon, the ability to have empathy for his father in not being the son his father wanted, and yet still to have compassion for himself and love for himself. That's a kind of perspective taking that is not easy. That must have been a great interview. It was. It was. And and I related in many ways. So it was not only was I hearing his genuinely inspirational transformative journey, but, I very much personally resonated. So it was beautiful. I would love to, play this clip with Busy Philipps.
She's a actor and podcast host. She was just so courageous in her process. So straightforward taking on the work in such honesty and transparency with such courage. And she perhaps gives one of the better descriptions of why the quad check is so powerful in in this clip? Checking in with my daily quad checks
have been helping since post process. That's been, like, the single most helpful thing that I've continued to do, basically, because I think for a lot of people, I don't think I'm unique in this. We have so many things going on, and so being able to figure out what is it that my intellect is asking of me in this moment? My what does my body need in this moment? And what emotional self is meeting me today? Where is that
coming from? And is there a pattern that I'm tracing this back to, or is it simply that it just needs to be heard? You know, let the emotions need to get out or separating those parts of myself oh, and my spirit, of course. Of course, my spirit. But separating those parts of myself out and really understanding what they all need and that they can work together and coexist. I mean, that's been such a game changer in terms of being able to be compassionate towards myself.
Oh, I love how she makes that connection of giving them this voice, allowing them to coexist, gives her the the compassion for herself, the compassion that she needs to be in her life. I love that. It it reminds me of as a teacher, I don't know, Drew, if you experienced this too, but in the process, when we have them do the embodiment experience of their quadrinity, and then we have a moment of silence in a 100% of the time, what they say afterwards is, woah, I just experienced silence.
Yeah. I mean, in a world that is so loud, how do we get to silence? And it turns out the way to silence is first by listening to what they have to say, and then they'll be quiet for you. But if we ignore them, they're going to stay loud and, distracting. I would love to talk about an episode I did with, Wilma Mae Bosta. And she talks about when she made the decision to come to Hoffman, she kind of preemptively recognized that she might have the tendency to kind of out trick the process.
And she had to talk with herself on how am I gonna show up? Oh, you know what? I'm gonna make a conscious decision to just let it do its thing, to surrender to the Hoffman process. I remember the train of thought was, I am going to allow Hoffman to catch me. I am gonna be present for this because clearly, I'm in a space I've never been before. Clearly, I can't think my way out of a paper bag. I don't know what to do, and I have to surrender to this process.
I have to do this, and I'm not going to come here and try and out trick the process or outthink it and try and figure out, like, the flaws or try and be the best student, or I'm just going to surrender, and I'm going to allow this process to work for me. I made a very conscious decision when when I came to Hoffman. Wow. How the intention of that, Sharon, to surrender. And she just kept using that word surrender to not do her patterns of out thinking, outsmarting, being the best student.
Yeah. The students that have the best process really can surrender to the experience. Mhmm. And I love that, having kind of a talk with yourself beforehand. Okay. How am I gonna show up to this? I've I've gotten to the point of getting it on my calendar. I've gotten to the point of doing all the arrangements of how am I gonna get there. Also, let me have a chat with myself of how I'm going to show up. Speaking of showing up, I showed up to the process in Canada.
We had, an offer from our Canadian friends to the north to have a teacher visiting teacher come. And I was able to make it and decided let's try this. So I went to this process with teachers I hadn't met before and obviously students that were new. And I had a student who was a, policeman in the Royal Mounted Police Force in Canada, Dan Sterling. And in it, he starts with how a couple weeks prior to the process, he was really in a bad place because he had to investigate, the death of a child.
And he references how low that took him. And it's just a really this is a strong, big you know, he's a policeman and he is very powerful and to see his process was amazing. But he references the pain people start often start in prior to coming to the process. Less than 2 months before I came on the process, I was at the lowest I've ever been in my life, and I had to investigate the death of a child. And it was when I realized I had a big problem. I actually knew I had a big problem
then. I remember sitting in my police truck, and I was having a breakdown, but it was silent. It was stoic. I drove to the police detachment, and I told my boss I just need a couple hours. And I went and sat in the gym room. I lifted some weights, and I sat in the dark, and I locked the door. The gym door would lock where I worked at that time, and I realized I couldn't cry. Throughout my childhood, I I'd kind of learned that the only emotion a man feels
or can express is anger. And so I really hadn't allowed myself to be emotional in any other capacity. It was either through being very stoic or angry, or when I was being funny, I was insulting somebody. Wow. Talk about a man owning his life and taking responsibility for his life to acknowledge, and I know he's not alone, to acknowledge that he couldn't cry and that the only emotion that has been safe so far has been anger. Or even when you're funny or insulting someone, that is huge.
Huge. Yeah. He was a beautiful man. And he looked back and was was grateful for his breakdown because he said it it brought him healing. And if he hadn't have really, struggled as much as he did as as potently as he did, he wouldn't have sought help. Yeah. The breakdown gave him a breakthrough, really. Yeah. And a break open. Wow. I, this this kinda reminds me of my interview with Marlene McNabb.
She, talks about grief and how important acknowledging grief has been for her in her in her transformation of becoming clean and sober and continuing to stay on that path. So let's take a listen. Probably one of the most profound processes that I, you know, had to heal was was learning how to grieve. I never I never knew how to grieve growing up. And I realized, you know, after, you know, getting clean and sober and getting in touch with my emotions, just how much grief I had.
You know, how much unshared tears, you know, I kept inside from not being able to acknowledge, you know, all of the losses and, you know, the difficulties, you know, that I had witnessed. You know, so when I see, you know, my people succumbing to some of these, to the suffering, I I see how important it is for me to continue that grieving process. Because sometimes that's all they can do, is is just acknowledge
that the grief is real. And it's something that it's a living energy that I need to consistently release. Grief is real. It's a living energy that I need to consistently release. Was the episode focused a lot on grief? No. It was, about her journey and that was a big part of her journey. The courage to grieve. I think so much of what students struggle with underneath that, I heard this saying a couple of weeks ago, all anxiety is unprocessed grief.
And I was like, wow, I can see that the ability to grieve, not easy. No. Our society doesn't really make room for it. So to Marlene's point, she makes an effort to keep it present, to keep it up and consistently address it. Doctor. Yeah. I want to reference my interview with Cynthia Merchant. She is, it has a unique relationship to the Hoffman Institute. She was a former process teacher. She was along at a time when she got to know Bob Hoffman.
She's also worked in somatic experiencing, and she does personal transformation work 1 to 1 now. And she, she just references Hoffman being a peak experience for her. I just loved the interview because it was perhaps the most, focused on change and how do we create change? How do we heal trauma? But in this clip, she references how much she loves peak experiences and Hoffman and working with people around change. She calls it her jam.
Each time you go through a Hoffman process as as a teacher and when you go through it as a participant, it really is a peak experience. It's one of those unique, you know, moments in time when hearts open up, insight opens up, intuition opens up, magic happens. Like magic, like in shamanism, really, the magic of healing transformation awakening happens. And I mean, how could you not like that, right? I mean, that's my jam. I love that stuff.
Well, shoot. That's my jam too. I love how she says that. Wow. Yes. I I want more. I wish that clip lasted longer. I might have to go back and listen to that whole episode. I loved every single word she just said. And, yeah, as a teacher, it is a peak experience even being a teacher as well. I I know that every time I teach, I feel like I myself have a transformational, magical transformational awakening as well.
It just makes me, I resonated with the interest in change and why people change and how people work and what helps them transform, which helps them be different and show up differently in their life. The curiosity around how people change is was what we kinda geeked out on throughout in that episode. Speaking of geeking out, I had an amazing, panel actually with several guests. It was called the Indigenous Voices podcast.
Talk about every single moment was impactful and so many, really important insights shared among these guests. And I wanna play one clip that was, a moment where Anita Sanchez, who also has her own episode, by the way, each one of these guests, not only are they in this panel, but they have their own episode. In this moment, Anita Sanchez talks about how the Hoffman process is an invitation to what is already there, to the sacred that is already in each and every one of us.
There's such unity in our diversity. And if we could understand that we don't have to be afraid that we're gonna be wiped out or something that know that we don't wanna make a sunflower a rose or a rose of sunflower. They don't look at each other and go, oh my gosh.
And it's just it's about blooming. And that's what I feel like Hoffman Institute is not fixing, but inviting to what is already, what is sacred, and just needs to be remembered with some processes and tools and the love that's being held there in that space. So good. What is already, not fixing Sharon? What were you gonna say? Just that I love how she said a rose and a sunflower don't look at each other and want to be each other. They just are a rose and a sunflower and then it becomes,
how do they blossom? How do they bloom? I'm so excited because I love metaphor. Change can be so esoteric and and kind of, you know, how did you change? What does change look like metaphor? I'd love the rose and the sunflower is so powerful because it brings the clarity of change into focus. And then just the other thing is so many people do personal growth work. You and I have talked about this on our episode with the
idea that something's wrong with them. And so let me come to the process or let me do therapy or whatever modality is. But the focus is on fixing the thing that's wrong with you. And she references, there's not anything wrong with you. There never was anything wrong with you. Beautiful. I would love to take us over to Tim and Paula. We didn't interview many couples together in this season, you and I. And so it was a special interview to have a couple on.
And, they came to us from Robin in enrollment. In this clip, they're referencing how they moved spontaneously and how they just picked up and moved and how in the past preprocess, one, they never would have moved to. They would have thought about it for years years years. And they start there and then talk about how they just really picked up and moved and how great it's been. But we would have never done that before Yeah. No. In a 1000000 years.
That's not who you are. You wouldn't have done that? In a gazillion years. Hell no. No. And here's why, because that's like throwing it out into the way. That's irresponsible. Yeah. That would have been completely irresponsible. And when I say this, I don't mean to say like, Oh, it just fell into place and it's all perfect and rosy. I mean, but it did in so many ways. It wasn't perfect but it was just like,
Okay, we're going. We literally left, I was getting my hair done and I told Tim, I'm like, I'm leaving in 4 days. He goes, What do you mean? I'm like, We're leaving. We're going back to bed. He's like, We don't know where we're gonna go. And so literally, I'm calling up hotels like, Hey, can we have a room for a few weeks until we find a rental? It's who we are today, and and it's really fun, being this way. But it wasn't who we were before at all.
Whew. I love this concept of changing, not just as an individual, but changing as a couple, as a unit and as a unit, being able to be, you know, look at the patterns of the unit. Oh, maybe they were, you know, he jokingly said that's irresponsible. Maybe they, as a couple have been responsible all their lives and they recognize that and were able to spontaneously up and move within 4 days. That is exactly right. They, they were fun to interview lots of back and forth.
Well, let's see. I've got one more that I'd love to share in our taste of 2021. And that is with a fellow Hoffman teacher named Hillary Hillick. And in this specific moment, I had asked her about the impact that being a Hoffman teacher had on her personal journey. And I loved how she just said they are so completely intertwined and linked, and I feel similarly.
Your question, you know, how has the journey of teacher training and being a Hoffman teacher and before that, a Hoffman grad facilitator, how has that informed my personal journey? They're they're so inextricably linked. And the more I continue to do my own work and my own healing and be present to my own pain and despair, the better a teacher I am. Wow, Sharon and Hillary. The more I am present to my own pain, the better teacher I am. Was that the quote she
said? Mhmm. She said, despair, I believe. Despair. She took that yeah. She took that even further and said, despair. I absolutely couldn't agree more. When I can be present to all that is hurting inside of me, I can be so much more effective at supporting students through their journey. Yeah. And I I love that she connected her personal work, not just with something she's doing for her own evolution and transformation, but in the interest of becoming a better healer and teacher.
Yeah. Yeah. That's so good. I have one more to to share. Jason Eric Hennicki has referred so many people to the process through the work, the healing work that he does. He's from Minneapolis, St. Paul, the Twin Cities. And we have had over the years so many people from Minnesota come to the process, and even had some teachers from there.
And in this clip, Sharon, he it was towards the end of the, conversation because as the interview went on, he got more and more excited just talking about the process and how powerful it was for him. And so he references these. I had no idea that he does this. We we just got to it right before the end. These morning walks he does where it's pitch dark and he's out near the river and he's dancing and singing and he just does such a beautiful description. He's such a light being of love.
I hope you enjoy this clip. I hike about 350 days a year, and on those morning hikes along the nature trails in Stillwater, Minnesota and along the Saint Croix River, I utilize these tools and practices that I, you know, took home with me from the Hoffman Institute. You know, I'm out in the dark dancing, you know, singing. You know, we have this we have this old lift bridge. I'll get to the bridge by 5 AM. It's pitch black.
And I, like, am sit out there belting, defying gravity from wicked, you know, because I just have this joie de vivre. Right? This joy for living and this courage to be myself as a result of the process. I mean, I was talking with one of my colleagues. I said, you know, how do you see this living in me? And she said, well, it's interwoven into every aspect of what it is that you do. I love this concept of this courage
to be myself. And in that moment, if his true self wants to sing and dance and sing to the wicked soundtrack, that's what happens. I love that. Love that visual. Yes. So good. The value of expression on the cycle of transformation. We can't just think it. We have to act it and express it and be it. Sharon, this has been so good. So sweet. Really powerful to actually pause and reflect and and, go through some of these clips from season 3. And so many other good
episodes in season 3. So if you get a chance, check out even the ones we didn't talk about. There's some great stuff there. And thank you everybody for joining us both for this episode and all the previous episodes and the episodes to come in the future. Sharon, I'll see you soon. See you soon. We appreciate you and love you, Drew. Thanks everybody. Thank you for listening to our podcast. My name is Liza Ingrassi. I'm the CEO and president of Hoffman Institute Foundation.
And I'm Razi Ingrassi, Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute Foundation. Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love. In themselves, in each other, and in the world. To find out more, please go to Hoffman Institute dot org.