Welcome to Love's Everyday Radius, a podcast brought to you by the Hoffman Institute. My name is Drew Horning. And on this podcast, we catch up with graduates for conversations around how their internal work in the process is informing their life outside the process, how their spirit and how their love is living in the world around them, their everyday radius. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Hoffman podcast. My name is Drew Horning. And on today's show,
we have Taylor Gardner. Taylor, I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to the show. Thank you. I am very happy to be here, Drew. Thank you. You are welcome. Thanks for coming on. So would you introduce yourself a little bit and and tell us a little bit about the work you do, the companies you own? Of course. Yeah. So my name is Taylor Gardner. I am a very passionate entrepreneur. I have a nonprofit organization,
that serves adults with disabilities. It's a in person facility where we offer daily classes, and internships out in the community, getting jobs. And then I also, founded an online platform, a national organization, that has online capabilities and a learning platform for also, adults and children with disabilities. Fantastic. And how old are those nonprofits? Fairly new. They're both under 5 years, so we're we're about to hit that mark.
That's a lot of work, isn't it, running 2 separate organizations? It is. It's a lot of work. My passion is is what drives me. I am a very, type a, very determined and just driven person to kind of make some really great change in the world, and I feel grateful that I get to do the work that I love. Yeah. I love that. With all the responsibility of the leadership as the CEO of those organizations, what led you to take a week time out from all of that to do the process?
Yeah. Good question. You know, in in building both of these businesses truly just from my heart, they've become a piece of me, and they almost, you know, became me. And there wasn't much separation between myself and my business. That could be really challenging when you start to lose yourself and you start to lose this sense of who you are and and what your purpose is and, you know, bigger than than your
business is. Right? And so am, again, being so hard driven, it's you're busy, and it's stressful, and there's always things to do, and you feel like you're never enough. And you just come to this place where you're like, there has got to be more to this. There has got to be. And I found the process, and it just it struck me at the perfect time. Take us to your process. A moment in a a couple moments in time, what's what's one that stands out? Sure. I mean, I guess I'll share also being
hard driven in all of those things. I also lost my dad a few years ago. And that was something that, you know, I had gone to therapy and tried to process. We were really close, and so it was a tough, it's the hardest thing I've ever been through. And so I knew that in the process that that was something that I would probably get to the point where I would want to work through or just not be so
sad and so angry. And this point in the process that was really impactful for me was a moment that brought me to that point. And it was kind of just sitting there in front of me. I walked in that day, and I'm like, Today is the day that I knew it was gonna happen, and I just I didn't wanna go there. When you're so sad and you're so, you know, I knew it was going to bring up all of these feelings that I had tried to push away and say, I'm okay. I'm okay. You made it through it.
You just keep going. You've got things to do. And, you know, I tried to process, and grief is grief, and and now it's time to continue on. But I knew that that wasn't all, that there was still just so much inside that kind of hadn't,
really come out. You know, I remembered sitting at the window as a little girl and looking through the window waiting for my dad to come home, And this moment brought me back to that place where I just really wanted my dad to come home, and I knew he wasn't coming home this time. And so, yeah, the process just brought me to this breakeven point that I didn't I didn't wanna
go. I didn't want to. And I had the most kind and encouraging and loving teacher at the process who really just pushed me in a way to say, You can go there. Really, the other side is going to be better. And so I did. I went there and went through all of these emotions, just all of the things that had been built up, anger and, things I don't even know if I had ever even articulated before, to be honest. I've never felt a sense of peace with my dad until the process. I've never felt that.
And now I do. I've read a lot and done a lot of self work within, you know, grief itself. And I think I just never pushed myself past that point of just completely raw, completely. And the process just really pushed me to go there and to articulate these feelings that, like I said, I never really had had let go of before. That image, Taylor, of you at the window looking out, waiting for your dad to come home,
and and he never did. Did did you have the experience of the adult you being with that little Taylor who was sitting looking out outside at the window, through the window?
Absolutely. I think that was something else within the process that has been so impactful, from then until now is seeing myself as this little girl, you know, being this hardwired and busy and accomplishment driven person, you know, that I inside, I am this little girl who just wants to be loved and be enough and be a good girl and do things right and be kind. And so I find myself often, yeah, in that moment, absolutely going to sit with that little girl and saying, it's okay.
And then I'd still do that now, often, to say you know, sit with her and say, okay. I wouldn't talk to her like that. I don't want I wouldn't care for her in that way, and so I want to be more gentle with myself because I have this beautiful image of me as a little girl. I see. So so it's not as if you're acting out from this inner child, but but somehow remembering that she still lives inside you allows yourself to be more kind and compassionate to yourself as an adult. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Has that impacted your productivity? I imagine you're still the driven what's different on the other side, I guess? Yeah. It comes from a different place, and that's kind of hard to describe. But I felt like coming into the process, everything was very externally driven. And I felt, like, this disconnect. Things were very much tied to accomplishment and tied to, you know, the vision that I had for my life externally. And after the process, I felt like it was a change to where
it's not externally driven anymore. It's just me being versus doing. And that's been really impactful in just the way that I work with people, in the way that I do get things done. And still, I'm surely driven and determined and, you know, have a vision, but it just comes from a different place. It comes from a being. When you said that, I I imagine that your your whole nervous system operates at a a much calmer level in in the being rather than the hyperarousal of doing.
Yes. Yes. That, you know, previous, it was catastrophic if things didn't happen in the way that they were supposed to. And, you know, timelines weren't met and all of that. And it's different now. It's it's much more of a a calmer place to be. So, Taylor, it'd be inappropriate to not talk about Lindsay. And so help the listeners understand who this special being in your life is. Yeah. So I just my face lights up even just talking about her, but Lindsay is my little sister,
and she was born with Down syndrome. She is just, gosh, she's just one of my very favorite humans. And, we're only 16 months apart, so we're very close in age. And I just, I've never known life without her. She's really just turned my world upside down in the best way, and I feel that she's given me my life's purpose.
I feel that, you know, because of her, I have this really strong passion and and and whatnot to create the businesses that I've created and to try to make the positive change within the world, and I feel like that all stems from her. I feel really grateful. You have memories as, certainly, you have photos on your website, the organizations about you and she together as as little kids. It's almost like you were best friends, playmates ever since you were born.
Yeah. Absolutely. I I really don't remember life without her. And so what what role did she play in your process? Yeah. Gosh. That's I mean, I feel like she's just a constant for me. And I should also share that Lindsay is nonverbal and needs more assistance throughout the day, so I've kind of gone into caretaker role, you know, as a child and into adulthood as well. And so I feel, like, this responsibility to carry out what I'm meant to do in honor of her, because of her.
And so within the process, you know, it really had me examine what that looks like. And there was a beautiful moment within the process that, again, because I just had one of the most thoughtful teachers, you know, I was given a rose, and the rose was in honor of her voice, which, again, she's nonverbal, and I feel like her voice. I feel like her advocate. I feel like that's what I'm here for.
And so to have this beautiful rose in honor of something that, you know, I may never hear was just such a special moment for me in the process to to honor that. It sounds like I mean, when I hear that, I hear additional grieving. So grieving for the loss of your father, his death, but also a kind of grieving for Lindsay who never had a voice.
Absolutely. And I guess I never thought of it that way until, you know, that moment when I was given that rose in that way, I had never thought of it that way. But it was absolutely right that I you know, that is a grieving process, to wanna hear what she thinks, and I wanna know, you know, what does she want in this world and that I can go out there and create, you know, and and for her peers and
things. And so it was really this beautiful moment, you know, sad but beautiful, just that I can be at peace with that she doesn't have a voice, but that others can can help to beat that for her. Taylor, how how does she communicate? I imagine through through many different ways. But what what's it like for her to try and ask for her needs or express what she wants, thinks, needs, feels?
Yeah. And so people always have the connotation that individuals with Down syndrome are just the most happiest people all the time. And although, you know, there's so much of that that is true and lovely, there's also you know, we're human, right? And so, she also can express, like, when she doesn't like something. And her mannerisms of expression and feelings just
come in a different way. Nonverbal communication, they say, is, you know, 90% of what people pick up on versus verbal communication, and that is absolutely true with her as well. And so my family and I have really just come to know her mannerisms and different sounds or different things that she does in the way that she moves or,
yeah, that she is able to communicate. She has the best sense of humor, comedic timing, and just I love when people take the time to get to know her because she honestly just has a huge personality, which I really enjoy because it's it's something that can be surprising to people. We were talking earlier that you are married now, but I imagine I'm just thinking about you dating that part of part of the, you know, package that comes with Taylor is Lindsay as well. Was that
a concern you had? How did you navigate that? Yeah. Yeah. That's I I love that you said the word package because that's pretty much what it's always been. It's just kind of a package deal. And naturally, dating, you know, you can be intimidated to naturally, dating, you know, you can be intimidated to share. You're not really sure what a man's reaction is going to be when he hears that, if there is intimidation, or what that might look like. But I kind of used it to my benefit.
I'll say that, you know, she was really my filter. Like, I'm I'll say that, you know, she was really my filter. Like, okay, it was kind of a test, you know? If they interact well or, you know, are open and loving and kind to this, then this will be the right person. It surely was fitting for when I met my husband because I'll get emotional. Their relationship is really special to me. When he first met my sister, I was like, he's the one. I'm keeping him forever. So You knew it right then.
I did. I did. You know, I wanna go to emotion, because a couple times already, you've teared up. I can hear your voice cracking. So so tell me about your relationship to emotion because earlier, you also said it was sad and it was beautiful. So what did the process help you come to understand about deep feelings and emotions that you now carry forward? I'm so glad you asked this question because I you know, you're taught that emotions,
you know, you have to quell them. You have to kind of keep them down. You don't show these these emotions, and, you know, you have to put on the happy face, and you have to be strong. And, really, that's kind of what I, you know, how I had grown up and really what I was was taught. And I have just always been someone who emotions just kind of overtake me. Whether I'm very happy, it's tears. Or whether I'm very sad, it's tears. And I just,
I'm very deeply connected. My heart, I don't know how to describe it, but my heart and my feelings are just very connected in a way to where it overfills me, I guess, and it just comes out. And so I'm sure you can imagine that the process for me was filled with just so much emotion. But typically, my emotion goes straight to sadness, or straight to tears. And I also, at the process, was able to express emotion that, you know, I typically don't go to anger. I don't know how to
do it. It's not a typical emotion that I go to. And I really feel like I went the whole realm of emotions. You felt that anger, Yes. Yeah. And and, again, I think I needed to push to get there because it's not something that's intrinsic to me to go to. And so it was almost, it was very freeing for me to go over that hurdle, to say, You can go there. And just the amount of peace that you feel and expression can just was it was so surprising and impactful for me.
But I think what I really realized is that this dynamic of bothand. I feel like I've been a very black and white, you know, it's either good or it's bad, or it's right or it's wrong, or, you know, all of these things that, you know, sadness is bad, and these different things that I've made these connections to. And what you realize is that it can be both and.
It can be, you know, both sad and both beautiful, and it can be really horrible, the worst thing that's ever happened to you, but it can also spur really positive, amazing things and connections with people. And so holding the dynamic of both and has been something that I've really taken from the process and and infiltrated within my daily life. Absolutely. That's not always easy, is it? No. It's not. But it's actually more comforting to know that it's not this either or mentality,
that it can be both. And it was so enlightening to come to that, to say, like, ah, okay. I I get it. It can be both. The power of paradox and and holding that both. And so, Taylor, I I wanna go back to your organizations and what you do and the down syndrome population and the services for this group of people. How are we doing as a country? I imagine that's part of why you did it, because you saw a lack of services for these people.
Absolutely. And I'll say, you know, my little sister has Down syndrome, but we serve all different abilities. So we have individuals with autism or cerebral palsy or all different abilities. You know, really what I saw when my sister transitioned to adulthood, I lived a corporate life that was not involved, you know, necessarily
within the disability world. I had always been on a board of directors or a volunteer or done different things within the disability community as I grew up just because of Lindsey, but it was never my work. When Lindsey transitioned to adulthood and left the school system at the year, she was 22 years old, you notice that there is just this cliff that people kind of fall off of. There is always this directed path for a typical individual, right? You go to school, and then you might
go to college. Or if you don't wanna go to college, you find a job. If you don't wanna do that, you might travel for a bit. And for an individual with a disability, after they leave school, it's really this period of I don't know where to go or what to do or who I am or what I can what I can be, what I can do. And so I found it so difficult for my family to navigate through very limited services that were out there. The services that were there were more like
a daycare. And my sister was 28 years old. She was so young, and, you know, I really wanted her around her peers and wanted her around, you know, people her age to continue learning and to try new things, and that just wasn't happening. I just wanted more for her than than what I could see. And the more I started talking with other families and with other people, it just became so apparent
of this gap, of everyone wanted that. These families, you know, they wanted that too, and they were tired of being a number through the system. They really wanted someone who knew their name and knew what they wanted to do, They really wanted someone who knew their name and knew what they wanted to do and what
they liked and disliked. And so the goal to you know, the seeds for planting the garden foundation, this personalized, smaller by design organization to really meet people where they are and to create a more meaningful life for these people to say, we see your potential. We see what you can do, and you're not limited by a diagnosis. I imagine for Lindsay, the you mentioned the social piece and the the value of being around peers,
that that's important to her. At the end of the day, she's filled up as a result of being in this community. Absolutely. I think that was something else that I even connected to the process. It's just how important human connection is and, you know, human needs. And at the end of the day, people with disabilities truly just want the same things that everyone else does. They want that human connection. They want to feel a place of belonging or like they
belong. They really want a sense of purpose, like they're here for something, happiness. They want love and connection with, you know, relationships, whether it's a romantic relationship or whether it's a platonic relationship. That human connection's really important. It was for my sister, and it is for all the people that we serve. I'd love that you tied it to the process because often wonder so many people have fortunately found the value in individual therapy
and the process is a group experience. So tell us about how you understood community like you do in the organizations you run, how you that in the process? What what struck you for the value of that in personal growth? Yeah. I think especially, you know, in a sense to comparing it to individualized therapy, There was just sense of community that could never be achieved by doing just, you know, one to one therapy.
I think it was so it's so hard to describe because, you know, you walk into the process with these people that you have no idea where anyone comes from or what they do and what their story is. And so to be able to, you know, be the most vulnerable you've ever been and that everyone goes there, and everyone's there for the reason of just wanting to be better and wanting their life to be a little bit different. It's such this point of connection to where
you're like, wow. We're really all here for the same thing, Even though, you know, everybody's story is different and their backgrounds and and what they've done, it was just this beautiful thing that at the end of the week, you didn't wanna leave these people. You grew so close to them in a different way, and it was just the most beautiful thing. It really was.
Taylor, if if you could shout from the rooftop about this disability population and what you want the able-bodied population to understand, what would it be? I love that question. It would be that we're all more alike than we are different. People see disabilities and or hear disability, and it instantly just creates this point of intimidation or, you know, you're unsure, and I don't know how to talk to someone. I don't know what to say or what to do when I'm uncomfortable.
And that breaks my heart because, truly, we're all just human, And just saying hello is just the, you know, it's it's what everyone wants. And so to be acknowledged and to just say hi, we're all really more alike than we are different, and we all want the same things at the end of the day. And I really see, again, the value to the the similarity to the process that although everybody's story was different, their childhoods may have been different.
On some level, they were all dealing with the same thing. You really felt that with your classmates, didn't you? I really did. It was and and for everyone to be, you know, so willing to be vulnerable and to share these things that everyone's going through with their within their lives and to have the support of people that,
you know, you don't know very well. It was just this connection that is really indescribable, but I think it's a connection that truly everyone in this world is is seeking and and hoping to have. We are longing for that, aren't we? Wow. I am appreciative of you sharing your story. Will you tell listeners where they can access the work that you do? Yeah. Absolutely. You can find us online. Our Instagram is at thegardenfoundationlv or at tribeinclusive.
That's our online platform, tribeinclusive.comorthegardleyfoundationlv.org. We'll be celebrating World Inclusion Day in October, just about, you know, again, that sense of belonging that everybody's included today that we found it and we're really proud of. So we would love to have other people participate and be a part of it. Taylor Gardner, it's wonderful to hear your story about your childhood, your sister, Lindsay, the organizations that you run,
and your experience at the Hoffman process. Thank you so much for this time. And I imagine you're gonna head right back to work doing all the important busy work that you do. I am, but I I so appreciate your time and the opportunity to share. I I'm very grateful for what the process Thank you for listening to our podcast. My name is Liza Ingrassi. I'm the CEO and president of Hoffman Institute Foundation. And I'm Razi Ingrassi, Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute Foundation.
Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love. In themselves, in each other, and in the world. To find out more, please go to hoffmaninstitute.org.