The idea of it is obvious and it's everywhere. Right? People talk about loving themselves. Be kind to yourself, self care, all this stuff. But until you actually tap into that place within yourself that is eternally loving unconditionally and you feel it and embody it, you don't know what it feels like. Welcome, everybody. My name is Drew Horning, and this podcast is called Love's Everyday Radius.
It's brought to you by the Hoffman Institute, and it's stories and anecdotes and people we interview about their life post process and how it lives in the world radiating love. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Hoffman Podcast special guest today. Welcome, Helen. Thank you for having me, Drew. Helen Vello, Hoffman teacher extraordinaire. Helen, what is this anniversary coming up here in the fall? Oh, in November, it will be thirty years of me teaching the Hoffman process. Wow.
I know. Who stays in a position for thirty years anymore? You've got some wisdom, some perspective. What has it been like to be a Hoffman Process teacher for thirty years? I mean, it's an honor. It's a privilege. It's a lifelong calling of service. I love the people I teach with. I'm inspired and learn from not only the other teachers, but from every single participant that walks through the door.
You know, it's a little bit quirky. It's a little bit different than your normal career and position of work. It is kind of a unique thing to shepherd people through this experience. It is. You know, the one thing about the process, I'm always in awe of the power of spirit and how people heal, what they glean from the process, and what they do with their lives afterwards. Yeah. You know, I was thinking about this. Like, we're so lucky that the people who come to the process
are ready. They're committed. You know, maybe they've tried other things that haven't worked well, but by the time they come to Hoffman, we really have a group of dedicated students week after week, don't we? We do. And I think that's changed actually over the years because when I started teaching, there wasn't a lot of professional or personal development. So people came in a little more guarded and with a prove it to me attitude, really wanting to
to get the healing, but still skeptical. Whereas now, because there's so many modalities of healing and people have done a lot of different things, by the time they come to Hoffman, they're ready to dive in deep to their childhood patterns and really take a look at that. Wow. That is interesting. The different types available to people, it's almost made what we do at Hoffman more normal. A lot more normal and palatable.
You know, I'm also always impressed and surprised by how people who've done all these different modalities are still walking away from Hoffman going, I had no idea. This is incredible. This is what I was looking for. Not to diss other modalities because they're awesome. But Yeah. It's almost like this is what I've been looking for, but there's also this sense sometimes that, oh my god. I didn't even know this was available.
I had someone, a daughter of a friend, say to my daughter, I had no idea that that kind of self love was even available. It was cool. It is. It's inspiring. So how did you get to the process? You live in Toronto. You've taught in Canada. And then over the last couple of years, you've come down to The US. Now you're a US faculty member as well. And how did you get to the process some thirty plus years ago? Through a friend. He told me he was going to do this big process, and I went, great. That's
good. You really need to do something for yourself. I'd been in therapy. I thought I had it all together. And then when he came back from the process, I spoke to him on the phone. He was so different. And I said to him, how can I do this? So he did his process in February of ninety two. I signed up for March of ninety two. Wow. There was no Zoom, so you could just hear it in his voice. I could hear it in his voice. I could feel the shift in him. There was a calmness of presence, a clarity that,
wait a minute. I've been doing therapy. I've been traveling all over the world. I've been giving myself all these experiences looking for that. I want it. Fantastic. And so you go to your process and you digest some of your childhood stuff. Share a little bit about the unique experiences you grew up under and how the process sorta helped you navigate that. So I grew up in Edmonton, Alberta, and my parents were in their early forties when they had me.
They were both known as corporate pilots and bush pilots, so they did a lot of flying in the Arctic under extreme positions. And I was the only child in the sixties and seventies who had a mother who had a career. She loved to fly. She was one of the few women that really dared to dream really big and follow her heart and her passion, which is, you know, what she imprinted on me, absolutely. She always said to me, think for yourself. Don't follow the crowd. You can be anything
you wanna be. Follow your heart. And she modeled it, and she was very accomplished in what she did. She was the woman to be invested in Canada's Aviation Hall of Fame and a recipient of the of the Amelia Earhart award and very, very esteemed as one of the Canadian female pilots back in the sixties and seventies. So, yeah, it was a very different childhood. She was really tough. We fought a lot. You know, I wanted the more feminine side. She was like, no. You're gonna be tough and strong. And
so, you know, we were at loggerheads. And then, you know, when I was 13, she was diagnosed with inoperable colon cancer. So my dad came home and said she's not going to make it through the night, and I didn't believe him. She did make it through the night, but she didn't only just survive. She went on to do some experimental cancer treatments, which back in the seventies, not many people had cancer the way it's so prolific in our society now.
And then she decided she was going to do a lot of alternative healing. So she did acupuncture and nutrition and threw out all of the refined food in our house, and we went very organic and clean. Yeah. She just embraced everything alternative. And so she went on this healing journey, and she actually did get her pilot's license back when I was 16, which is a phenomenal feat because you have to have a very clean bill of health in order
to get your license back. So it was an incredible experience to witness her determination in firstly getting back to flying. I mean, that that was her number one goal for sure. She loved to fly. Absolutely. It was about three years later when I was just about 18, 19. She had some calcium deposits that grew around her spinal cord, and it left her as a paraplegic. She refused to accept it. She kept looking for ways to heal, looking for ways to walk again. You know? She wanted to
get back to flying. And then I remember a pivotal moment just before my twentieth birthday where she said, that's it. I'm done. I want to die. She had a she started throwing everything out of the dishwasher, and she was done. She got angry and said, I can't do this anymore. I remember thinking, are we not enough for you to live for? That really struck me. It was like, oh my god. I'm not enough for you to want to live.
And I remember she had gone to a room, and she was in a wheelchair by that point, and she got herself into bed. And I remember lying there with her, and I'm thinking, God, if I'm just like you, mom, maybe then maybe then I'm enough for you to live for. Maybe I'll get to hear the words I love you. I'll be just like you. Of course, I never did hear those words. Right? You know, she died a few months later, and two things from that was, one, I saw the power of choice. I
mean, she really made that choice. She was she was done. She was ready to die. Number two, it was she was done with suffering, which was a great thing, but but we weren't enough. And so I think that imprinting left me with a tremendous amount of pain, a tremendous amount of confusion, and the determination to try to emulate her. But it didn't work, of course. In my twenties, I was so dysfunctionally independent, tough, scrappy, fighting with everyone and everything.
And so I think by the time I got to the process, I was 32, I was ready. I was ready to just lay it all out and be done with it because I knew I was messing up my life. I knew I was messing up relationships. I knew that instinctively and through therapy that there was a lot of pain there. Such a clear timeline and understanding of life preprocess, and then you step into the process. And what did the Hoffman process experience do that therapy
couldn't or wasn't doing for you? Well, of all, the expression work. I hyperventilated for the few rounds of the expression work of the bashing. I couldn't get that energy moving. I remember Tim Lawrence coming up to me. He was a teacher in my process, and he just looked at me and he said, Helen, breathe. I I just sort of let go, and that was it. I had so many bottled up emotions that I needed to let go and express. And so the expression work was amazing for that.
The compassion work was interesting and different for me. of all, I wasn't used to opening up my heart, that was a little jolting for me and a little bit of a push pull, am I really gonna open up my heart? And then by the time it was over and I was processing everything, I realized I was feeling a peace around my parents that I hadn't felt before, and a peace within myself. One of the things about the process is, you know, healing isn't always graceful. It's raw, it's those breathless songs.
It's sadness, it's grief, it's fear, roaring through the body. You know, I was willing to let it all rise and let it all go. From that, I knew I was on a different trajectory in my life. That's beautiful. And you can still remember it now some thirty one years later, can't you? Yeah. It's thirty three years, Drew. Thirty three years. Yes. Yes. I can take myself back to specific moments in my process. I can remember who was there. I remember the faces.
I remember the energy of the group. I remember where I was, what it looked like. It's etched in my heart. That's for sure. And why do you think that kind of thing gets etched in your heart 33 later? Like, what is it that makes it so memorable? Well, it really did shift me into this place of I can love myself for who I am. I didn't have to live up to my parents' expectations. I didn't have to live up to who they were and their accomplishments. I could be myself.
I could start to enjoy myself, I could let go and laugh and have fun. I was pretty intense and focused and determined and tough. So to let that go is a huge relief. Absolutely. But also, I think there's something that aligned at that time in my life that brought me to the process that gave me the experience it gave me to then move me into really changing my life, opening up to love and receiving love from others, and then moving into teaching the process.
The process has so many sacred moments in it. I don't think anybody can walk away and forget those profound moments of healing and the richness of self love and compassion and peace and joy and the lightness of being. It wasn't an intellectual journey. It was emotional, and it was energetic and physical. You know? So it it gets in our bones. It gets into us on a cellular level. Wow. I got goosebumps. So you come out of the process, and what happens? Like, what did the process
lead you towards in your life? Teaching, but wasn't there partnership as well in there? Literally, the Monday after my process, Derek, my now husband of thirty one years, walks into my office, we had been friends, he had been in a relationship, he was not my type so to speak, but he walks into my office and he says, I'm single. And I looked at him and I said, I'm ready. I knew that I was ready for a relationship.
I knew that he is one of the kindest, most respectful people of human beings that I've ever met. I witnessed that in him and how he treated people, which I deeply appreciated and loved in him. Yeah. Our date was 04/01/1992. April Foothills' Day. Yeah. And we've been together ever since. So Wow. And there is a correlation between being ready to be with Derek, being ready for partnership, and what transpired in the process that helped you be ready?
Absolutely. Because I had been pushing away relationships or being attracted to unavailable people because I couldn't get close I couldn't get close to myself I couldn't get close to anybody else I would pick up and move I would move you know from Montreal to Toronto to Vancouver to back to Edmonton I was I'm like, here, take my stuff. I don't care. Yeah. I'm moving. I'm off on a new adventure, and then
I was off on travels. I was, like, doing everything to not be in relationship with myself or with anybody else. You know, and I think back on that with also some guilt and some shame because I think I also hurt people who really loved and cared about me and they're like, why is she leaving? I I didn't care. I sabotaged everything.
So to know that I could stand in the fullness of myself and receive receive intimacy from other people, receive friendship, receive relationship because I have this new relationship with myself, and I knew I was worth having it. Yeah. I mean, I could tell you or someone could tell you before the process, really, what you're gonna get out of this is a better, more loving relationship with yourself. So just go ahead and love yourself.
That wouldn't work, would it? We'd have to go through the process to actually get that loving relationship with ourselves even though the idea of it is obvious. The idea of it is obvious, and it's everywhere. Right? People talk about loving themselves. You know, be kind to yourself, self care, all this stuff. But until you actually tap into that place within yourself, that is eternally loving, unconditionally, and you feel it and embody it, you don't know what it feels like. It's impossible.
And I mean, that's what the process gave me. I had no idea. Just like your friend's daughter said, I had no idea. I had no idea that I had this essence of eternal love and grace and wisdom and peace within me. And so you married Derek, you have a daughter Mahala, and you become a process teacher. Like, take us through these next chapters in your life. Yeah. That was crazy. I did a lot at once, which is part of my personality anyways, as you know, Drew. But, yes, I had this baby.
I was actually in homeopathy school. I was doing teacher training and then being part of a relationship all at once. So it was a bit of a juggling act. I was really blessed that Derek's parents were able to be present and be available when I was away during training and later on teaching. It was crazy, but you know what? That's what healing does. It opens the door to things that you would never imagine that, you know, new possibilities.
That's interesting. Healing opens the door to things that you would never have imagined prior to the healing. Absolutely. Uh-huh. And you kept opening doors, and then later on, you became a minister. Can you just talk about that journey? Yes. So when Mahala turned 13, I realized that I didn't have a mom when I was 13. She was fighting for her life. I thought, oh my gosh. I don't want Mahala to experience the same loss in her teenage years that I did. I should stay home and be a mom.
And it lasted seven months. I drove her crazy. She said, please go back to work, mom. I'm not used to you being home all the time. But during that time, I also found some classes in science of mind, new thought. And I remember because I needed to do something. I walked into this place in Toronto called the Center for Spiritual Living and the minister spoke affirmative prayer and I I felt something go through me and I went okay I need to understand this. I was not raised in religion.
I don't know much about it, but I knew that this form of prayer was something that I could feel inside of me. So I wanted to know. So I started taking classes. I became a licensed spiritual practitioner, went on to ministerial school, became a licensed minister. I eventually ran the center for three years and then just after COVID I said, my time is done, I need to pass it on to somebody else.
But it was one of the greatest learning experiences of how healing happens and understanding that we are such powerful beings if we open ourselves up to our own inner power. So I loved it. I think that the teachings have enhanced my own teaching at Hoffman, in my faith and trust in the power of spirit. I went on to get my doctorate in consciousness studies at the Emerson Theological Institute, which was really understanding also quantum physics and how the universe works,
so which I love. It's all connected. There's no separation from what we do at Hoffman to what happens in the, power of healing and other modalities. It's all one. It's just how we approach it. So I was busy. Alan, jeez. I'm I had no idea of some of this stuff. That's incredible. Lots of energy, lots of motion, and Mahala gets a little break from an intense mom. Yeah. She does. She actually went on to do the process in The UK about three years ago.
And she lives with you now, so you guys have a beautiful relationship. We do. We do. Our our family is very important to us, and we feel very blessed that we have the family we do for sure. We'll add a bunch of this stuff in the show notes and put some links for people to check out some of these things you talked about.
But there's something I just wanna go back to, this idea of affirmative prayer, and that being kind of the doorway for you into this deeper exploration of religion and science of mind. So can you just help us understand what is affirmative prayer, and how might people do it in their lives? Affirmative prayer is affirming that there is this infinite presence of light and love that is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and that that is what we are.
We are this light, we are this love from that place, opening up just as we set intentions in the process, we do visioning in the process, it's then affirming, yes. I am this abundant being who is creating a life that is filled with presence and grace and love, peace, whatever it is we want. And knowing that as we set our intention, as we focus our mind on it, and as we speak it, it is done. It's done. We have put that out into the universe. And so it is.
Yeah. And when people do that, they can begin to breathe in and be that abundance. Is that part of what happens? That's the idea is you are embodying this. You are this idea breathing it in so that it becomes a living vibration within your own system, which is fantastic. I mean, it's still aligned to what we teach. Who wouldn't want that? A living vibration within your own system. Yes. Beautiful teachings. They're considered new thought teachings. They pull from all the religions.
That one belief that is done unto you is you believe you are love, you are light, you are power, that sense of being you want to embody. So that's wonderful. So do you still attend occasionally? No. I'll watch online sometimes. I'll watch different people around the world that I like to tune into, but I kind of went, okay. I'm done. And when I'm done, I'm done. And I'm back in Hoffman full time, so that's
a big part of my life. I also went on to do heart math training, which is also weaved and integrated into my teachings. It's part of my life. Wow. How does Derek keep up with you? He's busy in his own business, so I don't think he needs to keep up to me. He just rolls with it. So you did talk about going back to full time, and we're growing so much now. So all teachers on deck, so to speak. But what is it like for you? I'm kinda curious. Here's my question. What do you notice inside you
as you lead people through the process? Can you feel your own inner life being affected by this process experience and by the students in that process experience? I don't know if it's so much affected as opposed to affirmed. It affirms my faith and trust in our own spirit, the the presence of the universe, the goodness of the universe, and also the goodness of human beings. I love human beings. They're fascinating, Complex, annoying sometimes, but fascinating.
You know, essentially, I do believe that we all have this goodness within us. You know? It gets covered over by patterns. And that can be a radical idea. I mean, there's some people who believe that at our core, we are evil or the idea of original sin. All we see in people are those patterns, so we have a hard time seeing the goodness underneath them or the goodness underneath ourselves. But you're really saying that that's not true, that that goodness is there. Yes. I believe it is. Yeah.
Absolutely. I've I've so much faith in that. I think that's our work to do is to get beyond the seeing people and their patterns. And not to say it's not challenging, Drew. It can be very challenging. But life is a mirror, so whatever I'm seeing in somebody else is a reflection of me and what what do I need to look at within myself? Because we're multidimensional. We're not just made up of one or two qualities. We have everything within us. It's all there. It's what do we choose to focus on.
For the next chapter, Helen, you are starting yet another business. Can you share a little bit about what's next for you in this aging journey? Yes. I'm starting getting there. Launching Elegant Aging, which again is as I also turned 65 in November, I look at my life and I go, okay, well, I'm not done yet. I'm not done with Hoffman, but I'm also not done creating. For me, aging is also an inside job. It's a time to really deepen connection to spirit.
Maybe about twenty years ago, somebody said to me, it was someone who was older than me and with a lot of bitterness that this too will happen to you. And I thought, I don't want to feel bitterness. I don't want to feel resentful in my life or feel invisible because I'm aging. It's like, wait a minute here. We don't stop at a certain age. We don't stop expanding. We don't stop exploring, we don't stop living until we actually leave our bodies on this
earth plane. So I just thought okay I want to create something that's a movement, a conscious choice to embrace the fullness of life while we age with grace, vitality, purpose, and deepen into our wisdom and radiate beauty from the inside out. Yeah. To do aging differently than that kind of stereotypical bitterness that creeps in as people come towards the last chapters of their lives. I want to challenge the traditional beliefs about aging.
I don't think they have to be the guiding force in our life. You feel like teaching the process keeps you young? Absolutely. I love it. Because what again, I meet all kinds of people, I learn, I stay open and curious, I love our colleagues because they're all different ages, nationalities and they come with different skill sets and different ways of thinking and being, so I get to learn from them. Yeah. And staying open and curious and being open to learning is key in terms of aging.
Yeah. That's maybe what keeps people young, that openness and curiosity. Yeah. Not buying into the traditional belief that I have to retire at a certain age and that I'm no longer relevant and I have nothing left to give. Oh, yeah. Helen, what's it like to reflect on your life? You started with your mom and her story and your parents as Bush Pilots and sort of took us through to your process and Derek and your marriage and teaching and then on up to the work you're
doing now. What do you notice in the sharing of all that? Oh, that's an interesting question, Drew. What do I notice? I notice a fullness and richness of life and an embracing of life and saying yes to it. I'm always up for the adventure. It's like, okay, give me a new adventure. I'll say yes to it. Absolutely. You are I have to say, in my experience over the years teaching with you, you are a yes. Like, when I see your face, when I see your energy, you have this, like, yes on your face.
What are we doing next? Yeah. I think I actually get that from my dad. My dad was very much that way and was always doing something new, always learning, always growing right up until he passed. Imagine that's a good way to go. It is. Yeah. Well, Helen, I'm grateful for this conversation. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. I'm grateful for you nudging me to do this. We can share that this has been many years in the making, hasn't it?
It has. It has. And I want to say that the integration of Canada with The US is one of the most joyful things for me right now to have this cross pollination. I give so much credit to Peter Maureen Colossa for bringing Hoffman Canada to Canada, but now to see it so grounded, solid, steady, embraced in the love that the US team and organization supports The US but supporting Canada in the same way
just warms my heart to no end. It's so good for our graduates, it's so good for new participants coming in to feel that love and care and nurturance from the institute. So I just wanna say I'm thankful for that. Yeah. And Hoffman Canada is adding weeks every year, aren't they? You're humming along up there, aren't you? We are, and I think we are now actually booked until the end of the year. It's a fullness that is really solid and steeped in love and care. So I'm I'm very happy
about that. I think you speak to something that's interesting behind the scenes, which is the institute that supports the process is really important. The people that work for it, the organization, the structure that undergirds this whole process experience needs to be a functioning positive organization, doesn't it? It does, and it is. And I feel very honored to be a part of that. Thank you, Helen. Thank you, Drew. Thank you for listening to our podcast. My
name is Liza Ingrassi. I'm the CEO and president of Hoffman Institute Foundation. And I'm Razi Ingrassi, Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute Foundation. Our mission is to provide people greater access to the wisdom and power of love. In themselves, in each other and in the world. To find out more, please go to hompaninstitute.org.