Steph De Sousa On The Relationship That Nearly Broke Her

This episode contains discussions of domestic violence. If this raises any issues for you, support is available through the links and phone numbers in the show notes.

I just don't accept what's not acceptable to me. I have limits and boundaries.

They're pretty firm, they're pretty strong, and I'll just I'll walk away like I won't make a fast but i will just walk away from things.

And I've had to do that a few times.

Hello, and welcome to the heart of it. We would like to acknowledge the Gadigor people of the urination, the traditional custodians of this land, and pay our respects to the elders, both past and present.

What a great chat, Master Cheffer's those fans know there are millions of Master Chef fans. Yes, are going to love this chat.

She's a fan favorite. Actually she is, right, she is. She's very beloved. She's the author of two best selling cookbooks, launching the new cookbook I should Say Easy Dinner Queen that's coming out. She is a TV host, a media personality, and a frugal foodie, which she does talk about as well, like how she loves to cook and where she came from and where she was inspired.

By and she's joined by her husband, Neville, who what an interesting fellow. Actually, when people say interesting, what an interesting fellow, come up is?

But he really is a curious, lovely.

Such a warm energy. I found like, I found myself feeling very calm around him, which is part of what his job is.

Well it is, And I love that what they were talking about was opposite to track. Yes, there's some things in here in this chat I think you are going to enjoy because there's some different ways of thinking about stuff. Indeed, it's really great chat.

We go back in time, we come to current days, we talk about their kids, lots of info. We loved this chat.

Steph de Sosa and husband Neville.

Welcome, Thank you, thanks for having us.

Neville, yes, are you okay?

I am?

This is your first time.

Headline A little bit out of his comfort.

We are diving into the heart of things today.

Thank you for for sort of trusting us to be your first podcast.

That's very kind to you.

I didn't have a choice in this, did you know?

Did you know?

Really?

I got told about a week ago.

Yeah, yeah, but then he didn't really know. I said we're going to do this thing. Yeah, I didn't bother sending him a link to the podcast or anything. I just yet I have trouble keeping up with her.

Out He doesn't. He just doesn't look at them.

Is that because you're looking at other things or because you're.

No, it's not that I'm not interested. I am a nerd, so I watch nerdy things like.

What Yeah, what's what's your definition of nerd? And what do you watch?

I work in it at the University of Newcastle and I watch a lot of YouTube things about Microsoft data products. So there you go.

I love that we're actually complete opposite.

Yeah, it's quite I do love food and wine though, Yeah, yeah, we.

We have that in common.

But as far as you know what we do and personalities and in all that kind of stuff, where opposite.

Well we'll start with the easy question first. How did you two meet?

That's a cop out.

We just basically we're just introduced by a friend of a friend at a party. It was like a very not very interesting introduction, but it smiled very rapidly. Did I think I told never I loved him on.

The first time?

Why he didn't run, It's beyond me. But why, I know?

It just vibes.

It just came out of my mouth.

It was I think it shocked me as much as it shocked him, but just came out of my mouth.

It was just weird.

It was obviously was there. Within three months he'd moved states.

He met in Sydney, and then I was living Kingsgrove, I think, And yeah, within three months I was living in Tazzi. Yeah, actually five months I moved to Tazzy.

Yeah, so you were living it. So I sweel a bit lonely in Tazzy? Is that why I came out of three.

Kids already lonely? No, not at all. Yeah, yeah I was.

I was divorced, fairly recently divorced and just single mom at home with my three kids. And seriously, I don't know where it came from, but it's worked because that was what twenty years ago now, So I was right. But that's kind of me though, like I'm pretty of a spir at the moment, kind of taken, you know, you know, yeah, I.

Think so Neville for you, When did you know with Steph?

When did you not on the first day.

You love me? You don't even know me exactly.

I think it was a couple of months in and I said, well, there's nothing called me back in Sydney. So I left my job. Well, I actually got a job in Tazzy before I left Sydney, and then yeah, I made the move and here we are.

Yeah.

Actually, what's twenty three years?

Actually?

Oh really? And how many years in Tazzi together a yeah? And then to Newcastle.

After Newcastle, well, we wanted to move away from a few things, but also the cold. Nev's family has got Nev's got two brothers in Sydney and I've got so we didn't want to live here are that close to them and my family on the Gold Coast. It was kind of like a bit of a nice middle ground. Yeah, not a big city.

Yeah, I think you house is fab. Yeah, it's great, it is.

And it's really growing up, which isn't it. Yeah, it's really good.

Yeah, and it's close to Sydney for us. We come to Sydney, make use of it, so to speak, and then we can escape.

Yeah.

And I'm probably down here a couple of times a week for work now and that's achievable as well.

But trains, planes, cars that the roads are so much better now, it's so accessible.

Yeah, absolutly even like driving to the Gold Coast. Now, you know it's like seven hours, it's nothing.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

I think when we first meet here it was like ten and a half. So it's amazing how much it's changed.

Seven episodes of the heart of it.

Yeah, you're done.

They yeah, they just go on your voice. Ali just takes wherever.

So you your three older kids, are they still in Tazzi or did they.

Know they they were little when we moved up here or.

Not really little but two teenagers?

Yeah, two were just teenagers and one was in his second last year of primary school or something in culture. Yeah, so they came with us. But our two biggest ones now live in Darwin, I know, right, Like could you get any further away from your parents?

Really?

Yeah?

You can move to a different you can still still and it's so beautiful too, Yeah it is gorgeous.

And ones in Lake Macquarie. And Noah, our baby is still at home?

Is he ten? He is sixteen?

Seventeen?

Yeah?

You see you're eleven.

Yeah, you're eleven?

Ok?

Yeah, amazing, yeah amazing. Are any of them foodies?

Oh?

They all love food?

YEAHOD and bad? Yeah, they're still they're still like junk food. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, no, they are foodies and they all cook really well.

Noah, our youngest te works in an Italian restaurant, has since he was thirteen, and he's now the pizza cook so he throws the dough in.

The air and recently.

Yeah it's really cool. Yeah, really cool.

Have you got a pizza oven at home?

No, we didn't yet it now we used to have one in.

Our house, yeah, definitely, and Tazzy we built on pizza oven. Yeah, and then in our first place here.

In Newcastle we built another one.

Yeah.

We Ali and I went and saw a house the other day that we're looking, we're looking to buy and they had a pizza oven in the front yard sort of down below the road. It was out of the way, but it was in a courtyard and they clearly used it a lot because.

The aroma that was coming out of a coal pizza oven, it just smelt like a pizza box. I mean it was.

Enough to buy the house, right.

It was amazing. Yeah, it's a pizza oven.

Is that something It wears off like the novelty wears off after a couple of shots?

Sort of? You were you persistent pizza?

It was our parties were always pizza parties, so we were like really big entertainers, you know, always having people over for the weekends, and the pizza oven won't always be lid. And it's such as social things standing around the fire yea oven and communal eating, all those kinds of things.

So yeah, it was always weather weather.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean you should look at that house again. Beyond our reach. So tell us the engagement story.

Never engagement story.

It's a bad story.

It's a bad story, very very romantic, very.

Oh damn, did you go tech heavy on it?

It was at home.

We actually went and bought the ring together.

Yeah, we did.

We know what was kind of happened, Yeah it was.

And there was work function.

Yeah, it was a I think it was Christmas Plenty or I don't know, something like that.

And I just wanted to show off to the people work that evening, so I did it at home in the kitchen.

In front of the street breach. It's like the least romantic story.

And then when I hear other stories, I'm thinking.

It was a bit.

Now we've told our story a few times, but it's yeah, it's pretty much the long line.

There wasn't a fridge in bold.

Drowning brother in the background after.

We just had a fight.

Yeah, my last ditch rescue tempt Look, there's been lots of other romantic things, but that wasn't one of them.

That's right, you can't.

Look, we both love Tasmania and cannot wait to circumnavigate Tasmania in our yet soon to be caravan.

It was just great down there living there.

I mean you did mention it was cold, but of course it's going.

To be is beautiful and it's a great place for a holiday, but we just found it. We're just hibernating like nine months of the year because it was just so cold, and never really hates the cold, coming from a really tropical coming.

From it doesn't get really good nineteen.

Yeah, so it's really a shock for him.

Yeah, and like we really wanted a better future for our kids that there's not a lot for them.

There's not a lot of work.

The university degrees are pretty restricted, so yeah, we really that's.

Why we have time to grow.

Maybe it's great for young families and older people.

Absolutely beg place to bring up your kids, like honestly, so safe.

The environment's amazing.

Fresh air and the food and wine is unbelievable.

That's me.

Yeah, you'll love that.

When and once they get their AFL team, the industry is going to fly as he devils their own AFL is supposed to paying for one.

Yeah, yeah, Richmond one.

The Hawks, Hawks and Hawks and North Melbourne do play down.

There, Yeah yeah they do. Yeah.

Never. I just want to get to know you a little bit more because you are a businessman. You're in the tech world. But I did see a mantra that you have that I really love, and it's you say. It's dare to dream, dare to believe, dare to give, and dare to live. Where does that come from? And what does that mean to you?

I think I had one too many wines when I come up with that.

There's a lot of daring.

Now I do get a bit creative, and I've had a few wines. I thing most people do.

It's the ingestion of spirit, you know, Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly and throwing a couple of whiskeys.

Now you're talking.

Look for me with work, I used to be quite reclusive way back when, and I seem to have come out of my shell work wise, and I love creating communities at work. So I might not be the most techy tech person. I still call myself a nerd. But if you don't dream big, there's no point moving on for me. So and that's where it came from. So I dream big, and I dare to achieve and dare to believe. And I am able to convey that message

Yeah, yeah, the bosses must love you.

Yeah yeah, I'm still in the job, so I think that.

No, but businesses really need people like that. They need someone to create that community and that cohesiveness. Yeah, you know, I think that's really it's a really important role. Does that Do you apply that at home with the kids and with Steph And does that sort of apply there as well?

Off and on, off and on, because I tend to I do get super involved with my work when I say at work and at home as well, Probably a bit too much, but yeah, that's how I like to live.

Yeah, Steph, you've spoken about food being an act of love. How does cooking play a role in your relationship?

I guess cooking is providing, I guess ultimately, so it is always an act of love to feed your family, and to feed them healthy, nutritious food that's delicious and that's hot and cared for, you know, presented nicely. That's always, I guess, an act of love.

I think it also keeps me sane, which is also.

An act of love for my family, because if I'm doing something that I love to do, then I've got more to give back to them as well.

I think does it keep you connected to your grandmother because I know that that's where you did a lot of your growing up and cooking? Y.

Yeah, Look, especially this time of year and Easter time, I particularly connected her because we have this family tradition where we always cook her Easter hot crossbun recipes at this time of year. I'm always particularly thinking of her. But I'm always just really thankful to growing up in that environment where I was taught how to cook and how to I guess how to love to go because she genuinely loved it as well. I mean, I don't

Yeah, I find I'm very much a scent person. Like that's what triggers my memory the most. Yes, so I would imagine like with the cooking and the smells, you know what I mean, it would take you.

Yeah, absolutely it does.

And also one thing that I she was also a great gardener, and I always whenever I smell freshly cut grass, I always think of her as well. That's kind of one thing that I always remember. Yeah when I think of her.

As was she growing her own veggies and oh.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely she had this beautiful veggie garden. Yeah, fruit veggies, all that kind of stuff. But I think everybody did back then too. Wasn't an uncommon thing. Even where I grew up. We were almost completely self sufficient as far as fruit vegetables.

Mate were concerned. Where was that until I was eight?

I grew up in northwest Tasmania, a place called Wynyard, right, yeah, and then we moved.

To Queensland after that.

But yeah, my dad was a horse racing, horse trainer driver. Yeah, so we sort of grew up on a farm with horses and all sorts of things.

That's that's really cool, Neville. Where did you grow up? I mean you said, do you say Goer.

Before did I? Yes? And go I was born in Mumbai there for I don't know, about ten years thereabouts, and then family packed up and moved to go Out. So in India you tend to say that I say I'm from God because you look at your ancestors and you said that's where you're from, even though you might be born somewhere else. But Dad wasn't a big fan of Mumbai. Too busy, too crowded, to congested, et cetera.

Came here to study on your own.

Yeah.

My older brother came here first, and then he moved back, and then I came here. Yeah, yeah, by myself.

I never left.

I had to go back for a couple of years, but then yeah, so essentially never left.

Oh that's so good. Welcome love Australia. Thank you.

Yeah.

When as you were saying that, it reminds me of Irish Americans they often, you know, they're three generations Americans, but they'll still say they're Irish.

Yeah right. I love saying that I'm Irish and that's generation Island so much. I like it's my Irish history. Well.

By the way, I just did some work.

With ancestry dot Com and one of my ancestors is from Ireland in a county that we drove through on our holiday. And I wish I'd known that at the time. It was like seventeen hundreds or something.

Everyone's got an ancestor somewhere.

Can I just.

Go back to you guys with your food and how much you love it and as being an active love when you're with the family and when you're growing up, did you ever have dinners around the TV? Or was it always around a table and with their kids?

Yeah? Yeah, as we've gotten older, gotten lazy and sit in front of the TV.

But it's a different, isn't it.

Very Probably the teenagers doing a lot.

Yeah, exactly, grunting.

I'm glad you said that, My goodness, just like a broad.

Stroke like fifteen sixteen.

Yeah, and a lot of in your bedroom with the dog clothes.

Yeah, but that's okay, exactly, Yeah, but we always, we always sat around the dinner table always, always, always, Yeah, it was great.

I loved it.

Yeah, me too. We always that was our rule, wasn't it that we had to sit at the dinner table.

Phones weren't allowed.

Dogs fed set the table. No phones, Let's see dinner.

Yeah, let's have a.

Chance for Friday nights, Fay fay. It's a bit different.

Take out night for you guys too.

Yeah.

Always we go to Blockbuster and get two weekly in a new release, and we'd get like Macca's Happy Meals and we set up.

A little picnic blanket on the floor in front of the Telly. It was like so great, was so missload days past?

That was a real time. I mean walking the aisles of Blockbust. You could be in there for an hour.

It was like an outing with the kids.

Then you have to figure out who is whose choice it.

Was Yesh's turned for the new release.

Yeah no, it doesn't know what a videotame.

He wouldn't even know what it is.

Has the relationship between you has it changed or evolved over time with your success, Steph. I mean maybe that's a question for you. Never, I don't know, but you've had a lot of success. I mean, you've got three million followers across social media, and has it changed at all.

I think it's changed a lot, because I guess, up until about six years ago when I went a must chef the first time, and it was a conscious decision like that, I was the primary care When we decided to have Noah together, I just said, look, I'm not I don't want to do this and work full time. Like that's a deal. If we can have a baby, I'm going to work part time and I want to

It's equaled Neville's. So I guess our partnership.

Is very different now to what it was before and busier, Like you know, there's not as much time, and we're nearly empty nests.

Like honestly, we're like so close.

To the end.

We're in the same position.

Yeah, I really one of our kids at home now and it's a very similar spot. And also with Ali's.

Career as well, her busyness is really.

It's really different isn't it very different? Very different?

I had to ask Steph to share her calendar with me just so I know what's going on.

Yeah, I guess because I'm coming and going a lot too, Whereas Nevill's like, you know, gets up in the morning, goes to work, comes home, whereas I'm like, could be anywhere at any particular time.

Yeah. Do you travel yeah, well, particularly to Sydney, yes. Yeah.

How do you stay connected when you're doing the travel.

Time?

Yeah?

Because again it's hard because Neville's job is so big as well. It's like he can't just pack up and come with me, you know, we're going away somewhere else something, So that.

Makes it a bit tricky.

I can work remotely, but most of the time I'm in the office.

You need to be poking people.

Yeah, pretty much. That's exactly what he does.

Come on, imagine he.

Tries to get people to come into the office.

Back to community. Yeah, people hard to have a community remotely.

Steph, you've been so brave and open and honest about past relationships or relationship I should say that experience. Did it shape the way that you love and receive How did it affect your relationship with Neville in anyway, perhaps in the earlier days or oh yeah, I.

Remember having this conversation with a friend after Neville and I'd been together for I don't know, maybe two years or something. It was a really good friend of both of ours. Were sitting having a coffee one morning, and I know it's probably Winy might there for some reason, I know why.

I can't remember what the contact was.

And I remember he said to me, Oh my god, Steph, when are you going to stop making Neville jump.

Through hoops to prove himself?

And it was a bit of a light bulb moment for me because I probably hadn't realized that that's kind of what I was doing it either, So I was like, oh, yeah, you're probably right. He's not like my ex was. It's very different and I probably need to just move on maybe, But it was actually it was really difficult for us to move on because my X was in our life and causing trouble for a very very long time, like right up until those kids were eighteen.

Yeah, like it was.

Yeah, that's when I said. There was a few reasons we left Tazzy. That was one reason.

We just went like we just have to escape this.

It was just relentless harassment, and I made the tough call to say right because we had fifty to fifty shared care, I made the tough call like, Okay, your kids, you have to decide.

Because I can't live like this.

And it was a really tough call to make, but I just knew that I couldn't and I had Noah who I wanted to protect from this abuse as well, and we just went I can't do it.

So we went through a bit of a mediation process and all the rest of it. It failed dismally.

He ended up following us, lived closer to us in in Tazzy.

It was just a nightmare. But he since passed away.

But once the kids turned eighteen, it really settled down because it was there was none of that unable to financially abuse me anymore basically, or abuse me through government agencies like you know, Center Link and Child's Bought and you know all those kinds of things.

It was relentless. Yeah, it was really relentless for a very long time, and it had a big impact on us too. D Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

How are the kids now? Have they sort of have they worked with a therapist or have you worked with a therapist.

Has that sort of been something that you, Oh, no, we have this saying in a house where you just suppress the press, the press like it works.

Really well, it doesn't, and then like ompression.

Then fresh cookers, then you expect.

Actually, the kids have really flourished since their dad passed away, And that sounds hartless and terrible, but it's the truth. They have really flourished because there isn't that dare I say manipulation and yeah, yeah, exactly anymore and also just playing us against him as well. So our relationship with the kids is is much better than what what it.

Ever used to be.

My daughter has she has gone through She has had some therapy in the last twelve at eight months to try and she had some emd are therapy sure, yeah, which she's found has been really, really, really successful. So she has the other two have it.

We'll see.

Have they met partners themselves.

The three older kids and they off and on Tanna, our middle one, who's expecting our first grandbaby.

Oh I'm not ready to be called pop.

Yeah, yeah, we'll make it up.

So yeah, him and Aaron are together. Derby, she's had a few serious relationships, but acknowledges that she's got issues she needs to work out to be able to do that. But she's a foster mom, so at the moment she currently has three foster children in her.

Care as a single woman. Yeah, she's amazing. She's so cool. And Melie, No, he doesn't have a partner, but he's Mallet is a loose spirit, you know, like he lives in his band.

Yeah, he number three, the third child.

So different. So so.

How is that for you? Neville? You know, how did you deal with the abuse for yourself? You're seeing your your loving wife, you know, the kids in some way involved.

I mean, yeah, it's it's very hard. Yeah, well it was very hard because things like that get dealt differently in India, whereas you have to play it by the rules. Sure, and that sounds what they weren't.

They're not played by the rules.

In as in people tend to take things into their own hands. So when you see a loved one getting hurt, you want to take matters into your own hands. So a cricket bat might turn into yeah exactly, And especially when I witnessed it like personally a couple of times, and I had to sort of restrain myself because usually I'm very placid, but then when I see something like that, I just go from zero to one hundred very quickly. So it was hard. It was hard on our relationship.

I was always being undermined as well, which you know, you take five steps forward and ten back.

And yeah, it was tricky.

And I come from a background where corporal punishment and you know, it's like very hierarchical as in some ways, you know, you respect your parents, et cetera, but there's no backchat at all a lot. So coming into that in a different environment, it became very difficult for me to try and work through that.

I mean, it's not easy. Step kids are not easy anyway, you know, but it's loaded more.

For you and culturally loaded.

Sure.

It was not only was that loaded from the influence we were having. But also it was really difficult for Never culturally because like even he would see our kids come home and watch Telly or play outside or do whatever, and it was like, why are they not starting.

Studying because growing up in India have much free time because education is such an important part of your life. You finished school, come home, eat, have rest, and then it's on your books. Yeah, nine o'clock at night, have dinner, go to bed, repeat the next day.

I mean, it's so competitive India too. The population is so huge. You have to be the topic of your game in order to be successful. Whereas here you know where we I guess.

Yeah, we have a lot, and I imagine that there's a balance between that. It's like absolutely hit the books and find balance in our life and play.

Yeah, because I was like the other extreme, it was sort of survival in the sense that Okay, you need to make it to the next grade. You don't you get done go to the next grade until you pass your exams. So even here, like kids progress from one grade to the next, whereas we had to go through exams from grade one that you didn't you know, you start your exams and you progressed to two, three, four, et cetera. And then yeah, but if you fail, you stay back.

Yeah, Neville, you must have had to rely on or employ a.

Massive amount of acceptance. Yep.

And was that part of your makeup before you guys met or was that something you just had to develop.

I had to develop that because it was a completely different life, like after meeting Steph and getting immersed in a different cultural life, so to speak. It took me a long time, to the point that now recently Noah's came home from school and said, oh, I hate school, I don't like the subject, et cetera. Yeah, eleven, pressure gets added on, and once upon a time I would have flipped and said, no, you go to school, you have to pass year eleven, past twelve, university, et cetera,

Yeah he got over it.

Yeah, who got over it? Never?

Or no, no, no.

That like the first couple of months of year eleven where they really apply the pressure and they tell you need to be.

Serious, and he was like, what, man, this is scary. But he's kind of settled.

Town, whereas we have that pressure right from when we were young.

Sure now has a really strong work ethic too, So he tries to work, you know, twenty five thirty hours a week at his part time job as well as going to school and you know, which is okay when you're in grade ten and soccer and all the rest of it.

So, yeah, he's just had to learn to adjust his life a little.

What does he want to do when he graduates? He wants to it's taken subjects that it gives him options. So he wants to travel though, like I think the first he wants to have a year off and go traveling.

So you went through this awful time. Often that's where we get a lot of our wisdom. You don't sort of learn a lot when things are really shiny and bright and successful. You learn when it's in its toughest about things like what you've been through. What's the wisdom that you take from those tough times and that you can employ in your relationship today.

So much in my relationship and I think my outside my life, something that I have learned is I just don't accept what's not acceptable to me. I have limits and boundaries. They're pretty firm, they're pretty strong, and I'll just I'll walk away, like I won't make a fuss, but I will just walk away from things.

And I've had to do that, I guess professionally as well.

A few times, you know, since I've been on this road, you know, with different different things that have come and gone. But I think that's probably I won't be treated badly by anybody.

Whereas when I was younger, my.

Ex was significantly he was ten years older than me and we met when I was sixteen, so I always felt I didn't have that power in that relationship. So I've very definitely taken that power back.

How do you protect your private life? I mean, you are a public person, but how do you protect yourself from you know, I don't know if you get trolled vera. But you know, what do you do to put in place there for a protection.

I haven't actually found I've needed to, to be honest, I have such a great community. If I get trolled, community come after thee Like honestly, last time, I just do not need to.

I think in the.

Beginning, when you were still building your base, it was hard used to get trolled.

I used to get told a bit like probably in the beginning, I'd get on the wrong side of TikTok and you go, whoa like anything over a million views on TikTok, you are definitely going on the wrong side of TikTok and people come for you and have all sorts of opinions. You just learned not to read it and not to take it personally. Really, that's kind of what I do. But as far as outside of social media,

I think because I try to be.

I feel like I am authentic, and I think that's part of the reason why people like what I do is because I am authentic and I'm happy to give, you know, give off myself.

So I don't really find I have to put up those boundaries.

Really, how did you feel being invited back to the second go round?

Yeah?

It was a bit wild.

Actually, yeah, okay, okay, let's see weight wild.

Well it's good.

Look I the first time round was so when I when I mustered it for the first time, I actually quit my job.

I had a great job, paid really really well, amazing conditions all the rest of it, and I quit to go.

I must.

I didn't have to, but I knew, like line in the sand, this is it. I'm changing my life because I was forty six and if I didn't do that, and I was going to die in that chair and it was slowly eating my soul.

So just went right was the job.

I was a HR manager for the Department of Human Services. So yeah, it's a fairly serious kind of job.

I guess I would say, pretty intense.

Yeah, it was pretty intense, which you know, I liked it, but it just I knew it wasn't what I was destined to do or distant to be. So the first round of mass yet there was so much writing on it, so much writing on because I like, this was going to change my life, that was what I was.

I wasn't going back to that.

So when I came twelfth, I was like, oh my god, Like I was devastated because that wasn't part of the plan really. But anyway, I came out and I worked out, it worked out it and here I am now and everything's great. Now, everything's worked out really well. When I was asked to get back in this time, I was like, firstly, at unfinished business.

And you are back to women.

Yes, unfinished business, but also probably unfinished business, not so much as far as winning. But I really wanted to enjoy it this time because the last time, there was so much writing on it. It was so much pressure on myself. Not nobody else did it but me. I wanted to go in and actually enjoy it and have fun.

And I really wanted.

My followers to enjoy that as well. Like I'm really excited for them to come along with me on this. A lot of people didn't even know that I had been in our mastership before, so it's been really fun going through that already. So when it starts to show on air, it's going to be really cool.

Now you're launching your is it your second or third cookbook?

Now?

It's my second second book, second book, Easy Dinner Queen. Yes, and Queen, Why tell us about Easy Dinner Queen?

Easy Dinner Queen.

So this is the book that I wanted to write first off, but I didn't kind of have the power to choose that for myself. You know, when you just your first book, I didn't have as many followers as I do.

Now how many do you have?

Yeah?

About three million altogether. Yeah. Pretty, it's pretty wild, isn't it.

Is it international or just a three mini?

No, no, no, it's international.

I have about forty five percent or Australian okay, yeah, which is pretty good.

Yeah see so yeah, yeah overseas as well.

Yeah.

So they asked me to write their air fry book because I was doing a lot ofir fry content back then it was really hot, so that's why I did air Fry Queen first. But my followers were really asking for this.

Easy Dinner Queen.

They wanted, you know, the really simple, easy stuff, minimal ingredients, one pan, trade bake kind of things. So yeah, this is the one that I really wanted to do.

Yeah, that's great.

We're excited.

We're excited to have this book because we do. We do a lot of trade trade baking. Would do you guys split the cooking up?

By the way, I genuinely cooking dinner is my favorite part of the day.

Yeah.

I do love to cook.

Yeah, sometimes on a Sunday I'll let him cook. Yeah, if I'm hungover and I can't be bothered.

Easier the better for us in a way, isn't it.

I love that simpler, the better.

Yeah.

Yeah, so my followers love anything that's in one pan.

Yeah, you know, pop it on a train in the oven, slow cooker, you know those kinds of if.

You've got slow cookers this.

Yeah. So I've got four chapters in the book.

One is one pan, one is tray banks, one is slow cooker, and the other one is one bowl.

So that's sweets and treaty. You make me one bowl, I love.

I love your catchphrase as well that food should be.

Fun not fussy.

I love that.

Yeah, you made fun not fun fussy aprons. Yeah, but where where do you do this stuff?

Like?

I have so many ideas of stuff that I want to do, I've just got no time.

It's crazy.

Would you love to have your own range of spices or that stuff?

Yeah, Like it's all like I have a list, you know, I have a list of things, and it's just actually the next thing, which I have literally just started in the last couple of weeks, is we're creating a meal plan, so a subscription meal plan. So it probably won't be out until July because we need about three months worth the content first. Yeah, so it'll just be five weeknight dinners on one little sweet tree and we'll send it to you once a week. I have a shopping list.

Yeah. How do you support Steph when she's in the midst of all this creativity and running here there, and.

You're doing well for your podcast? You are you are nailing this, mate?

He speaks, Yeah, because I'll come home and I look at Steph, will be in the kitchen cooking, and I say, do you need a hand? I know the answer, yeah, but I have to ask.

Do you do the cleaning?

The no, Noah does the cleaning?

I said, on the couch watch Telly, or on the computer.

Wat you know, No, that's on the Telly.

Yeah.

After I go to bed, I go to bed and YouTube comes on girls girls Yeah.

Yeah, a whole different ways of viewing things. People go, We've got to make this in to a TV show. I'm like, nah, maybe we just put it on YouTube.

Tube back here, We've got all these subscriptions, but I end up watching YouTube.

I never support if he does support me a lot.

I think, you know, if I'm going like coming down to do the morning show or sunrise or something. You know, like he does things like he carries my boxes down to the car and helps me do things like that.

You know, he fills up my car with petrol.

Even just a coming words or something like that, because like I get a bit frantic sometimes as well.

In that frantic when you go and do a morning show, do you get nervous or anxious about those sort of things?

Yeah, not anymore, It's funny.

Yeah, yeah, why do you think that is?

I just think I'm comfortable in front of the camera now. I just it just feels, it feels normal.

Now, it's not something that I'm concerned about anymore.

I find when I am and you mentioned before, when I'm connected to my joy of what I'm doing and also been grateful for that opportunity of doing it, that the nerves and anxiety that I would feel are way less.

Actually, that's really interesting you say that, because I hadn't really thought about until you just said that, And I feel like I know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you know, and I like what I do, so yeah, that's probably why the nerves aren't there like they used to be.

Yeah.

And also the host, I mean their job is to make you feel comfortable, right, And they're so good at what they do. They're so good at what they absolutely.

Yeah, and he had great treading with Master chef as and you know it was intense in cameras and having to perform men.

Yeah, yeah, that first time was very intimidating. But also mashav is a great training ground, so it's really like very very intense, but you actually learn a lot about being in the media industry while you're there.

You know about how.

To answer questions and having a camera in your face and like, honestly, I said, if you don't give it to this, we're it's going to keep asking.

So you learn really quickly how to act so they get out of your hair so you get cooking.

That's cool.

Yeah, And also like moments like you know, if there's a moment that is going to be good with the camera, you'll just look over the camera and goes do you want to film this, and go oh yeah, and they will come over it. Yeah, you know, when you're opening the oven door or whatever, just because they'll look after you if you look after them.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

So would that be the advice that you would give any Master Chef contestant.

Oh yeah, absolutely, and also cook two dishes, so one for the judges to try when it's warm and delicious and one for them to try when it's not quite so warm and delicious.

Because they try all the food, I.

Know, and if you're like number twelve to be trying the food like you've it's been.

Seen there whole time.

Yeah it has so, Yeah, you're just a little sneaky and yeah, all right, okay.

Right, that's not something that's told you. Like if you're a rookie on that show, you just cooked one dish and then that's the one that they're going to photograph and it's going to get cold while that happens, and then they've got to they've got to taste that.

Yeah, once you do the too, that's yeah.

So everybody who was who is back to win this year, that won't be an advantage because everybody will know that's right, everybody will be onto it.

I think you should ask a favorite dish. Would you like me to tell you dish? Thing to eat? Croissants?

You're a jerk. It's such a jerk. That's how I got eliminated. Do you loun croissant?

So there's amazing croissant house in Melbourne.

They're in Sydney too.

Now actually i've just heard about these. I just my.

Wife, Yes, yes.

And so you went to make one of those?

Yeah, I had to make this loon croissant. It was like at the time, it was the longest Maschi of challenge ever.

It was over two days. I was nailing it until six minutes before the end of the challenge. I made one mistake. Look, all I did was.

So you had to it was full of the cross was full of franchipan. So after you had baked the croissant, you had to fill it with this chocolate franchipan. Right, So you had to put it back in the oven and you had to put it back in the oven separate. So the top here and the base here. And I just missed that step and I put them together, so the middle didn't cook as well as what it could.

I know.

Life goes on still croissants again, So well that dad by heart.

Okay, if if if your partner was a.

Dish, well say something else.

Okay, what what dish would stuff be?

If she's interesting?

Let's see, well a black forest cake?

Why why black forest cake.

Because it's delicious. It's my favorite thing to eat when it comes to sweets. And then a Vinda.

You say, vin dalund.

We said the whole wrong way.

Fastest and the completely different.

I'm going to say that next time.

Yeah, restaurant, and I'll go, are you from you?

How about you with Irish heritage?

What's never?

What?

What's he is a dish? I'm going to say, let's call him my croissant.

Because you like to dip in, because.

Because he's not cooked in the middle.

I want to say, because his layers. I want to say, because his layers, like I just yeah. And it's one

They're really yummy.

Lay Yeah, I like to dig my croissant into a cappuccino.

French of you.

It's so good. It's so good. Question.

Okay, if your children could learn one lesson from watching you two together, what would you hope that that lesson is?

I what do you mean?

I think when when I separated the first time, I looked around it all of the successful relationships that I had around me and really really looked at what it was that made them successful. Well not I mean, not everything, obviously, but there was one core thing that I noticed with all of them, and that was that they were the opposite of each other. So I think if I could teach my kids one thing was big, don't don't look for someone that is you, look for someone that compliments

Beautiful, that's great, Oh me.

That's what they call him.

Yeah, let's say patients as well. So opposites definitely, but patients because life will throw your curve balls endlessly and if you don't have that and sometimes a thick skin. I'll learn to have a thick skin, then you'll just get swallowed up alive.

We do a thing called the pulse on the heart of it, so we'd like you both to answer the same question.

Okay, okay, okay, I think I know the answer to the first one.

So what brings you joy? Food and wine?

Yeah, the same. We got a lot, far too much.

What do you miss when you're not together?

Conversation? I would say.

The same, Yeah, time spent together going out having a chat, because quite often what happens is when we are home, sit in front of the telly, have dinner and watch a show and then spared, whereas when you go out it's an excuse.

To look at each other face to face.

Face to face, have a conversation.

Yeah, talk for us all two hours.

Yeah.

Is there one time in your lives that you would like to revisit?

The start?

The start?

Yeah, really the start?

We're not do again, but revisit Is that what you mean?

Yeah, let's say revisit. Revisit as in the emotions the roller coaster? Yeah ride?

Yeah?

Was that a positive thing? Or was that something that it was?

It was that something you want to it was positive?

It was flush?

Yeah, yeah, at least have so much fun. Got married, Yeah, now we're serious.

And we used to sneak away and go to Melbourne.

Yeah, I remember, we both had this amazing memory of this trip.

We went to Melbourne week that's right.

We booked really cheap.

This is when we were broken, you know, had four little three little kids, and it was you know, life wasn't easy back then, and we nearly canceled them because we like, we were so broke and we didn't really have enough money to go wait in Melbourne. In the end we went right, well let's go and we had a budget of twenty dollars a day.

We went for a weekend for three days. We had a budget of twenty dollars a day.

Honestly still to this day, the best weekend we've ever had.

Yeah, yeah, it was amazing.

We had to be creative, free.

Stuff to do, time to re create you to Yeah, we've.

Crashed this.

Art exhibition exhibition and it was invitation and we crashed it with well, we had dinner there, we got drunk champagne best so cool.

Sorry are you revisiting that too?

Yeah, yeah, I have just revisited.

Haven't I to do that again?

The twenty bucks wouldn't cover a Chrystal coffee the following morning.

Yeah, hanging to triple it now?

Yeah, yeah, eleven dollars right anyway, alrighty one word to describe each other, giving.

Keeping I'm stuck. There's so many words in my head.

You can have more than one, if can I Yeah.

Today, maybe.

I want to say maybe a little bit mysterious, I think is what I want to say. And yeah, you never quite know what's under there, what's going on, and it's always like a little an interesting conversation and an interesting opinion or you know, something like that.

So your word would be isn't there a superhero.

Language?

Neville and Steph, thank you so much for your time, good luck with everything that's coming up for you. That's so exciting. And we can follow you on Instagram. You know you're you're all over the place, so we can buy your books. Sorry, it'll bit. We can get more of Steph, and.

We can eat the cookies.

Enjoy the cookie. Yeah, thanks for having it. Thank you,