Hello, and welcome to separate bathrooms.
I was wondering if you were going to do that. Hang on, cute the new music. Please, Hello and welcome to the heart of it. My name's Ali Daddo.
I'm cam Dado.
We would like to acknowledge the Gadigor people of the orination, the traditional custodians of this land, and pay our respects to the elders, both past and present.
It's exciting.
I know.
It's been a few months in the making. We've decided to take the leap from the shower, the baths and sinks and join you in the main house.
Gracious a daisy, exactly fresh as the mountain stream factory.
Fresh we are.
We're like toothpaste. We're tingling and fresh.
Yeah, bright eyed and freshy child.
Oh look, just like a healthy relationship. Things grow and change, right, and here we are, we're getting to the heart of it.
After several hundred episodes in the bathroom.
Yeah, we began podcasting like five years ago.
It was five years ago.
That's wild, isn't it. And our intention was always to just sort of set the record straight about our relationship if anyone needed to know.
In our words though, right because there were people writing their version of it, so.
Yeah, yeah, and we wanted to talk to guests also really about how they made their relationships work. That was our curiosity and then maybe we could learn something and you could all learn something.
That's right. I mean, we had no there was no time frame, there was no agenda, kept our expectations pretty low about who would actually listen. And the fact that we're still here is a testament to you. So thank you, yes, very much so.
And now well we've listened, and evidently you still want to listen too, so thank you, and onwards we goward we go.
So we're just as interested as ever in stories, be it relationships or simply stories about life and getting to the heart of what makes relationships and people unique and special. So we haven't been in the studio for a while.
I know, had a nice break.
Yeah, so what's going on. Just let's give a little.
Well, I know where, I know what happened with you over the summer wasn't exactly the best holiday.
I guess, no, Look, someone was quiet. I spent some time in Sydney's westmeat Hilton.
Well that is actually the incredible Westmead Hospital. Those of you who don't know.
Big shout out to the to the staff, the doctors, nurses, caterers.
That was me. I was the caterer. Are you shouting ut me?
I am because look, you know, hospitals are not renowned for great food.
No, and that's okay. They've got a lot of other more important things to do. Well.
I guess it's just providing nutrition to get better. It doesn't taste, is not a premium. But so Ali would visit me and she brought those cherries summer cherries that kept me going for a couple of days.
But truly, the doctors and nurses were just all round care of you. I am super appreciative.
So look in any in any case, I am sincerely on the mend, albeit with some extra bits and bobs in the gizzards. Do you like going to that down the road? Yeah? You know how to welcome a stent episode?
Yeah, there you go or multiple stamps?
So what about you?
I well, I had been I'm finally able to talk about a new TV show that I am doing for Foxtowel that I am incredibly honored to be a small part of. It's really a sorry part you're hosting and honey, yeah, I know, but really the stories are about these families that are we talking to. It's called gen Well, and it's really about the holistic way for families, generational families from babies to great grandmothers and grand you know, great grandfathers as well, how we stay well and there's the
different modalities that we can use to stay well. And it's really really beautiful. It's also very heart driven. So it's very very excited to be a part of it.
So when you start shooting.
That is later in the in the year, okay, and.
It comes on to foxtails, to.
Foxtel, Yeah, June June. I think it comes on June July.
Yep, yeah, brilliant. Well, we've rebranded we are the heart of it. It's a brand new year, twenty twenty five. We're still going to be talking about relationships and couples.
And absolutely and we've always been about the heart of the relationship and now we're just going to be, you know, maybe digging a little deeper and seeing what else couples have got to say. We've got some amazing people coming up throughout the year. We've actually got repeat a vendors. Mitch Tambo and his gorgeous wife Leleah lovely love those two. Casey Barnes country and it's great. And his wife Michelle, one of our favorite ladies who works at Nova, Rachel Corbett.
Yeah, she's amazing.
Yes, she's got her own podcast O. Yes, it's about being a single month exactly. That'll be a ripper. And just also we've got Sarah Pasco and her husband Steine, so that's also going to be a great chat, brilliant.
Well, here's where I think we should start. Yeah, so given that we are exploring relationships to the heart of it, yes, say it again.
We've got it, right, I'm sure we will.
Here's something we can check out, right, So it's an online lifestyle platform called rest Less Restless Restless. It's an English one. I think ten game changing dating strategies. So this is twenty twenty five.
This is a single one, is it? Or if it's already if you're dating, could be whatever.
But if you're into dating, then here's some game changing dating strategies for twenty twenty five. I mean, I think given that we're in the first quarter of the year, it's probably a perfect time to throw out any old and outdated habits. Some fresh new strategies. We love that.
One of my best friends is looking for love, so absolutely she's always looking for tips.
Okay, so ten ideas in this article, yep, for ways you can mix things up this year, whether you're looking for love online or out in the real world. So you've got this list in front of you too, I do now, Yeah, okay, So I'll do the first one.
Yep.
Ask your friends to choose your dad.
Yes, oh, I would be really good at that.
Friends to choose who you go on dates with. They could basically be unpaid matchmakers and suggest the right people for yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you hand them the dating app and let them swipe on your behalf.
I wanted to do that when our daughter was on the app. She's no longer on the app. She's found love, though. I remember I wanted to choose just because I was fascinated by the whole thing. But like, I know who I think would be good for our girl. Yeah, and you do, and she's found It was great. Oh okay. So have you ever heard of the three three three rule?
No? I haven't, but I did a little dive into it, and apparently it was a TikToker came up with it.
Oh really, well, then it must be amazing.
Yeah, right, three three, that's what you know. That's what I do when I go to casino. I put three on the rule. That will three times and then I'll no, I did not know that. That's if I ever go into casino. How often I do that?
Yeah?
Always three? Well three times three times three? Yeah, but three and then if I got nothing after the third three okay, but I invariably actually do quite well with that one.
Yeah, well, I like that. So after three dates you decide whether you're attracted to each other. I think you do know within three dates, Okay, I think that's that's pretty clear. So there's there's not like a maybe I might be. It's like I'm in or I'm out. Okay, So if you're not end it, I like that.
Yep. And then what happens after three days?
Okay? So then three weeks you ask yourselves whether, okay, do I see a future with this person. It's not that you necessarily need to be marriage ready, but just to know, you know, is there potential? So and if you do, you just carry on dating each other and you know. But obviously in those three weeks if you had a red flag out done, gone gone. Okay. So then three months the final three so you decide if you're going to be exclusive and official, will you go around with me?
All right? Or okay, well you.
You go around with member?
Is that the Sydney way of doing it? That was the Sydney way when Melbourne was would you go with me?
Oh no, it was go around with me when I was a kid. Instead of falling into like a non committal nomn's land where it's like, yeah, we're kind of I'm seeing other people, it's like, no, it's you, it's me and no one else. And you become boyfriend and girlfriend or you're you're out.
You're part ways.
Yeah, okay, ok't you know TikTok and makes sense on that one. I mind it.
Well, it takes the it takes them and ring out of it. It's like we're going to reassess after that.
It gives you a bit of a three months yeah yeah, and it's not working after three months.
See, everybody thinks this one. Number three. I actually really like this. My father, as you know, my dad is huge on AI. He just can't believe I know this whole thing, and he uses chat GPT. So this is suggesting that how to use chat GPT as your dating coach. Right, so, so have.
You used it as a dating coach?
No? Have you used chat GPT?
Yeah? Absolutely? Yeah?
Yeah, okay, Well put it in a prompt like this, acting as a professional dating coach. Ask me questions about my past relationships until you know my attachment style and ideal partner. Then give me a thirty day plan of action to find that ideal partner.
Oh, that's quite detailed, so you'd have to input a lot of information. I guess that could actually be quite fun and quite illuminating. Actually, because you're putting it down on to you know, you're writing about it, you might actually find something about yourself that you didn't even realize. But you know, sometimes when you verbalize something or write something down and then what does it do? Then it gives you a thirty It.
Gives you a thirty day breakdown of how action, like a blueprint, wow, of what to do.
That's and then then you input the three three three. After that, I guess yeah, okay, okay, there you go.
And then you do number four.
Now number four, So this is an interesting one. I think this is probably might be a little controversial. I kind of like this as a like my best friend, she does have the heavy conversations early on, and I like that she gets the stuff out early because then it just sort of gives that person an idea of who she is, where she's coming from, what her wants and needs are, and then you can either jump in from there. And so I do think openness is a
real key, especially if you want marriage and commitment. So just sort of, you know, spilling those beans. I mean, I'm not talking about absolutely everything. Do you want to scare the person away, but you know, if you're not searching for just a deeper connection, just you know, have at it. But I think being open from the start about what you're looking for, and particularly being very vulnerable what you're hoping for, is a really good way to sort of screen out incombatible people, you know.
Yeah, Yeah, I like this one. Only searching for no strings sexual marathons with double jointed Marxists. Don't be afraid to put that up on your profile.
Yeah, and a lot of people do. A lot of people do, which is cool. Yeah.
Okay, number five is have sex at a different time.
Now, how did we jump there? We were having open conversations and being vulnerable, and we've gone to number five. Have sex at a different time.
Well, I'm thinking only searching for those sexual marathons with double jointed Marxists. Those have sex a different times. So if you've used to having sex between seven and nine o'clock in the morning, do it in the afternoon.
Do it at nine thirty, take.
A different time. Okay.
Flirt number six, Flirt with people everywhere?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's great.
Well, I think it's how you do it. I think it's because that can also be very very could bring up a lot of trust issues. If you're in a relationship and your partner starts flirting with the opposite sex in front of you, that would find that would feel very I would not like.
It would be kind of disrespectful. What would be disrected?
Yeah, but what is it they're talking about? Something different?
Yeah? I mean it really comes down to what is your definition of flirting? Right as well? Right, because I think it goes into easy ways to be more flirty, and that is say hello to five new people every day, men, women, babies, dogs, Give a stranger a comp about their clothing, ask a Barista's advice on what drink to order. Yeah, I mean this to me, it's just it's just opening conversations with people,
and it's like an energetic flirting. It's not so much Oh god, you know, what does your husband look?
Sexual?
Off?
Yeah, everyone asked me that I tell you.
Yeah, because so disappointingly say.
No, I just say, let me show your photo. And I love it. Yeah, because the word flirt always it brings I don't know if it's for me just being female, it brings up a little bit of like, oh, she's such a flirt, you know, like where it's a little bit of a negative thing, a little bit of a like yeah so but I but this is kind of it's a different version of flirt. It's just about Yeah,
it's more about connecting with people. And and I I one of my said this before on the podcast and to you, I one of my favorite things giving random strangers compliments. I love it.
So that could be construed as some kind of flirting.
I guess, I guess. Yeah, it's fine.
It does say here. The best flirts don't save their skills for people that they fancy. They interact with everyone, So why not try it? For yourself in twenty twenty five. Yeah, you know, talk to many, talk to as many people as you can on the bus and the shops, at work, in the pub. Keep the conversations lighthearted, complimentary and fun.
You know what else I like about that is it gets people lifting their faces out of their phones if you're talking to them as well, which is nice. Okay. Number seven, So this is if you are on the dating apps, and this is again referencing my friend. She does this. She knows all the safety measures. So only communicate via dating apps until you meet. And that's a
really good safety boundary, all right. Because you can chat on the dating apps, you don't necessarily have to take it off the dating apps until you feel ready and secure and feel like, yep, this is someone I can give my phone number two or you know what I mean. I think it's a really it's a good safety measure to have.
Not only is it safer, but it's probably less satisfying, which means you'll both be more motivated to get together and have some FaceTime together. Yeah, as soon as possible. So when you talk about it being unsafe, when you start doing WhatsApp and texts and things like that is that also is that kind of catfishing? Yeah, to avoid that sort of thing.
Yeah, it can make you really vulnerable to the romance scams that you do sadly hear about. And I'm going to say it's not I'm going to say it's a bit more of a female thing, but I don't necessarily is.
I think men get scammed as well, you know, and you hear stories all the time, and then it's devastating for those people thinking that they're in some real online relationship when you're talking to someone in Bolivia that's been doing this for five years for a living and getting money out of people.
Yeah.
Right, so yeah, keep it safe, keep.
It safe, keep it stay on the dating app until you meet Yeah, okay, number eight multi dates. The days of being exclusive with someone you just started dating are over, says this article in twenty twenty five. Consider committing to the idea of dating more than one person at a time until you're both sure how you feel.
Yeah, back to the three three three Really, Now that's an interesting one for me because I just I don't know if it's just a personality or a scorpio thing. But I would never do that if I'm dating someone. I'd only date that post. I couldn't imagine dating multiple people, Like, it just would not work for me personally. If it works for other people and it's not hurting anyone, go for it. But for me, I'm like, I'm a one at a time person and I'd.
Be hopeless because I forget that you'd.
Call each other, you'd call it the wrong name. It wouldn't work. Come on, Karen, remember when I told you that last week? Sus Oh no, that wasn't.
Jenny. Oh No, I wasn't Angel, Jeez.
Now number nine, which kind of just sort of it's a little bit of like state the offer years to us fifty and older.
Thirty three us very we've got so much skin in the game in the daily life after being married for that.
Yeah, but I just I think it's just our age group as well. It's like, have real life dates. So what's a real life date? You may be asking go shopping, catch the train together before.
A concert to see that funny fun fun not funny, but going to a concert. Getting the train to a concert.
Yeah, I love that.
Or a football game yeah yeah, because traveling in building the anticipation and it's.
So good yep, yep. Cooking dinner together is a nice one. Yeah.
Make a long car journey, that's our thing.
Yep.
Yeah.
We spent a lot of time do some gardening. I mean it's a little bit old lady, but you know we both like gardening. I know you do. You've always liked gardening too.
Like that's Can I tell you a listener what I did over summer speaking dating?
Oh, I know what you've do.
I got marsinal dates from the grocery store, ate them, kept the seeds, wrap them in wet paper towel, put them in a plastic bag for three weeks. They sprouted, and now I am growing date palms.
Yeah.
I've got three shoots. Yeah, three seeds have come. I'm so exciting.
It is very exciting.
Two avocados.
Avocados are on their way. Yeah yeah yeah.
What else am I working on? Oh you don't know about this one. Oh we had lunch at the oaks in Neutral Bay and Sunnyah. I found some acorns on the ground.
Yeah, you're going to grow an acorn tree. I mean, yes, you just need to go out there and sing that Poor Kelly song, which one from Little Things.
From Little Things, Big Things, grow of course, why not fast that bloody go to the tree fast screen deb So there you go, do some gardening, grow it, grow some dates on your.
All right, last one number ten?
Oh god go no contact with X's yeah right. So, when in a relationship with someone, we become almost addicted to their presence. That's one of the reasons why breakups are so difficult. Our body and brain are going through withdraw from the chemicals we released around.
That's interesting, isn't it.
Yeah? Yeah, So what does no contact mean?
Well, also, that sort of withdrawal is sometimes when I think people act out of character, you know, I think they get sometimes people get a little bit nutty when they've had a really hard breakup and they do things that they would never think that they would do. You know, they might do a little bit of stalking. They might call them three a m when they're drunk, like just to hear their voice, or you know, I mean follow film just like it's just it's kind of looking for
a little bit of a fix sometimes. So that can be not so good for our mental health if we're stuck in that kind of addiction.
So twenty twenty five, if you've broken up with someone, no contact. Yeah, move on. It's as hard as that is.
I delete all the old voicemails and voice notes, delete them from social media.
Yeah, don't go scrolling for them in social media.
Yeah, don't wear any of the clothes they left. Don't be sniffing the shirt.
Wow. No asking mutual friends about them.
Yeah, or trying to avoid bumping into them. I used to do that with this old well before you, my love, this ex boyfriend of mine. I used to try to show up wherever I thought he was going to be. I was so heartbroken and do you see him?
Yeah?
I did. Sometimes it made no difference whatsoever. No difference.
Yeah, all right, Well, there you go. Ten tips about dating from a couple that have not been on the scene in thirty years.
Take it from us.
We are off and running.
You just went straight to the heart of it, Annie, There you go.
I did.
It's really great to be with you again. In twenty twenty five. As we mentioned, we have some fantastic guests. We are going to be getting to the heart of it of course, with all of the couples and experts as well. I'm sure that we'll be having on the show.
There you go, catch up with you next time. On the heart of it,