The amount of times as you know that I've quit. I've quit on stuff, I've quit on songs, I've quit on all sorts of stuff, quit on myself. And we don't know where the end of the race is. To quit at the ninety ninth meter of one hundred yard race. I don't know how many times I've done that, but I know i've quit before I got the end.
Hello, and welcome to separate bathrooms. We would like to acknowledge the Gadigor people of the Eur nation, the traditional custodians of this name, and pay our respects to the elders, both past and present. I'm Ali Dado and I'm not really on my own. I do have a special guest with me, but it is just me asking the hard hitting questions.
I'm here, by the way, I am here.
I know now. I've known our guest for about coming up to thirty five years. It's a long time to know someone, and he's very special to me. He's very special to a lot of people. He's very special to our children. His name is Caron Dado and Karon Dado has a book out and it's a fantastic book. It's called Keep It Smooth. Life Lessons in Confidence. And we just thought it would be a really good idea to bring him into the bathroom and I have a bit
of a chat about the book. Welcome Karen Dado into the bathroom.
Let me just turn the hot tap off, give himself a little cold burst, yes before we get started and lighting up. And yeah, you're just.
Talking about your book today. You are my guest, which is I can't really get Cameron Dado to interview Cameron Dado exciting. Maybe I should have had you. Anyway, we'll see if there's a question that you wish I would ask you about your book at the end. Maybe I have a think about that.
Okay, all right, we'll wait and see what questions you ask me. I know I love doing this with you with your book, and thank you for doing this with me.
About is very good. Fair players, they say your book again, Cameron Dado, keep it smooth. Life lessons and confidence will just dive right in. What inspired you to write the book? Ye? Are you?
I saw you writing your book, and well I experienced you writing your book, sure, and how much work and effort you put in. I have, as you know, I have been fiddling around making starts to one man shows making starts to a story book? Did I even have a crack at writing a nonfiction book or sorry, a fiction book? Rather, I think I did. I've certainly got a file on my computer that has followed me over.
I don't know how many incarnations of Apple books, apple computers I've had, but it just seems to be there of doing a book, and you did yours, and it reignited this idea for me to write a book. And then I thought, what am I going to write it about. I'm really look honestly, I haven't arrived at the place in my career where I thought I was going to get to. At this age, I haven't achieved the level of whatever it is success that I thought I was
going to do. So in order to write a memoir, I'm looking at people like Michael Caine or I don't know. I love Robert Redford's biography, autobiography, all these different people that have written autobiography. So I thought, I just I'm not famous enough to do that. So I needed a I needed some tool that would get me into being able to tell some of the stories that I had. And it was our manager, Kathy Baker said to me one day, Gosh, I'd love to hear what you have
to say about confidence. And I still remember the moment that she said it. I remember exactly where I was, and the hair on my arm stood up, and I went, that's your end. Yes, because I have wrestled with confidence my entire life, and I can say that from them my first memories, I'm wrestling with honesty, confidence that I
can that all these things. So I thought, oh, I can plug a number of stories so it can be entertaining at the same time as maybe not so much educational, but just experiential that the reader can go, oh, either have it as a story or maybe pick something up to have a takeaway from it.
Yes, I know. With the title of my book, I was nervous about it because it's called Queen Menopause, and I didn't want people thinking that I was claiming I was Queen Menopause because I you know, as I keep saying, I always wanted women to feel like they were queen of their menopause. That's why that title exists. And I always have to feel like I've got to explain the
title a little bit. Yeah, do you feel like you have to explain your title in the sense that it's like you're it's not a self help book about confidence, because you've got it all together. It's exactly what you just talked about. It's your wrestle with confidence, how you take two steps forward, three steps back, and all the incredible stories that you've garnered from really well known Aussies about their crisis of confidence.
Right right with the title. As you know, it went through different incarnations. I wanted to tie it in with my music as well, so there were it started off as like song titles that I've that I've put out there coming undone was one, and then Curious was another. And I thought I thought the book was going to be called Curious Curious about Confidence, and then the publishers were actually I think it was the audiobook people said not much cells with the title curious, with the word curious.
You know, that's strange because to me, curiosity is a massive part of how to be confident when you stay curious with things, because it keeps you in a positive side of the of the ledger. And and then it just was keep it smooth. There was the obviously the obvious synergy of people that know me as an announcer on smooth, but also keeping it smooth is a great tool also to how to go through life and to stay again feeling like you can. If you slow things down,
you don't have to go back and redo it. I know we've explained this. You know fast is slow. Slow as fast, keep it smooth, then you keep it could just go slow bit by bit and you end up further down the road than if you're trying to be fast and you make mistakes and have to go back.
I think about you mowing the lawn for some reason, which I love to Doah, No, would you love that? Because if you if you sped over that lawn, you would you wouldn't do a good job. So you have to go at a slow and steady pace and keep that lawn mode beautifully. So that's keeping it smooth.
It's a great analogy. You're clearly on my side when you say that.
Well, I knew to use a term that the lawn mowing, because I know you love your lawn mowing.
Do it you have to go back and redo it.
If you go to write that's right.
And you're like, you can do that if you're not wearing your books exactly how much.
Of your personal experiences, whether from your career or your personal life, is in the book, and was it challenging to distill it down to stories, to add the ones or delete the ones that you were like, oh, I can't share that one.
Yeah, it was, as you know, and we've talked about this. I think I'm a better writer than I am a speaker. Amazing writer, thank you. I tend to waffle when I speak and with the writing. The thing that I had, I had a post it note on my desk. I had a few, but one of the one the touchstones that I had was too many words. Yeah, and it was just keep coming back to distill, distill, distill, back to the feeling of what it is I'm trying to write because I can't stand waffle on the page reading
It loses me. I'll throw the book away. So I just was like, just cut to it, cut to it, cut to the point. I think. I think of John Candy, planes, chains and automobile and Steve Martin when Steve Martin viciously says to John Candy, when you tell a story, have our points and it's so it's true, but it's just so mean. In that moment, so anyway, that's what I
wanted to do. And so, I mean you talked about before about having the extra voices in there, the extra people, these incredible people who gave up their time to share their experiences with confidence. That wasn't the original intention was.
I never set out to interview other people. It was only that during my exploration, and I'm writing all these stories down, and I had I turned in something like one hundred and si sixty thousand words of my own into this book, and they only wanted eighty, right, So then I add another forty thousand of other people. So now I've got to distill one hundred and sixty thousand into forty thousand words.
You've basically got part two ready to go.
There's a whole bunch, yes, So so yeah, it was a challenge to to take out because some of them were a little precious, and like Bodie. I remember reading a bit to Boad's our youngest daughter listener, and our youngest daughter said to me, I read her a bit and she goes, you know, Dad, it's really good. You just kind of have to prune some of those roses. Yeah.
I needed to cut out some of that stuff because it just had to relate to confidence first, right, Yes, there's nothing in that book that does not relate to how affected my confidence.
Yeah, yeah, you mentioned you know, the stories in the book and the contributors, and you've got people like Marsha Hines, Keith Urban, Heather Mitchell, dear friend, I know you love her. We all love her. You have pilots and you've got principles of schools. You've got a huge football stars and the artistic director of the Australian Chamber Orchestra, just to name a few. So it's not about just having celebrities
in there. You've You've gone across a cross section of life and jobs all you know that you need confidence in order to do the job.
You would think you would think you would.
So why didn't you ask me because you're my wife? Okay, got it? Uh the spot are there? Are there sort of any particular stories or lessons from those contributors that really reflect your own journey with confidence?
Oh that's a great question. I think I got a little bit from everybody. Yeah, I really do. Ian Baker Finch the professional golfer, Champion Golfer of the Year in nineteen nine, And you want I believe he was the
champion golfer. He talks about having competence be in alignment with your confidence or your you know, that's you know to be to work on your competence level, mar And that's really important, and that resonated with me because sometimes, you know, if you turn up to a thing and just I felt like I haven't been competent enough at what I'm doing, and that can erode things pretty fast.
Marcia Hines brought up a beauty and that is some advice that her mum told her about dwelling and not to dwell too long about things that haven't gone your way. And that to me, really resonated with me because I have dwelled on stuff I have thought about could I have done better? And I think that's good to do a post mortemon things that you haven't done very well, mistakes you've made, outcomes that haven't turned out the way you wanted. You go do a little post mortem on it.
Go Okay, why didn't it turn out that way? And then let it go. Take the wisdom and let that thing be its own thing. Keith Urban mentioned talked a lot about being curious, you know, and understanding your value that just because you might be good at something doesn't mean you're a dickhead, you know, and not to laud that over someone. And he tells a beautiful story about he's the lead singer of a band that he was a stant guitar player for and the guy goes, what
do you get out the front? You know, I stand on on the monitor and put your foot up there and be a rock star. And he goes, well, and Keith says, someone they'll think I'm a dickhead. And the guy, Rusty says, are you And he goes no.
And he goes, well, fine, isn't that great?
So beautiful?
Simple?
Yeah, And that night Keith said, I went out the front and stuck my foot on the wedge and I played a solo. Crowd went nuts and.
That was it.
And he's still doing it today and it brings tears. I mean it brings tears to my eyes. I go, fuck, that's what he did and he's still doing it today. And that's why he's the guy that he is. He's just such a good bloke who loves what he does. So yeah, and it's full of the book. Is all those people FITSI.
Michael O'Laughlin, Aaron the anesthetist, just great stuff. Scottie the pilot. You know, I chose people that I think need confidence. Like I fly in planes all the time. The pilot's got to be there. I've been put under the under an anesthetic, knocked out, Jesus, that's got to be that's
a job, you know, how does it work? And these people were so brilliant in bringing their expertise and talking about their vulnerabilities and where they've lost their confidence, and it was just there's so much to learn from those stories. Just read those stories if you don't to read.
Mine, they're really good.
Read the in between bitsiness.
Speaking of bits, can I get you to read just this little bit in here because I think it just really speaks to exactly what you said, and you just put it in a really wonderful, wonderful way.
Okay, here we go the more. And I said no before because I thought, oh God, I'm going to get emotional reading my own book. I am, but no, it just I'm very proud of it too. I am proud of it. Okay, here we go from page six. The more I've talked with others who seem confident, the more
I've found myself saying you struggle with confidence too. That's why I've rounded out the book with a roster of guest stars interviews where friends and colleagues from high performance fields like sports, entertainment, education, medicine, and aviation share their definitions of confidence, their own crises of confidence, and how they've become the extraordinary people that they are. I am
so grateful for their thoughtful participation. Each has been remarkably generous with their time and spoken openly about aspects of their confidence journey.
Yeah. I think you just it just was so beautifully put, because it's exactly you know, you put so much thought into who you were choosing and why you were choosing, and I just think you wrote that really beautifully. Did you face any unexpected challenges? I'm laughing while writing this booker probably answer this question.
Yeah, a lot. Well, I had crises of confidence. Of course, who's going to be I mean, who's going to be interested in reading this story? There were some that. I mean, it was an interesting thing because I was writing the book while I was shooting Luxury Escape, so I was heading overseas. A lot of the book was written at thirty five thousand feet. I didn't watch many movies on
those planes. I just just beave it away on the on the computer writing, and then once i'd arrive at a destination, I would send the words off to my publisher, Tom, and then Tom had be you know, he'd make comments because this is great. We'll throw it in the pile, this is great, I love that bit, you know whatever. And then some of the things that I thought were fabulous, he he was like, yeah, no, we'll put that in the next one. I'm thinking, what do you mean, what
do you mean you didn't like this? That's story about it? Yeah, that bit about Tom cruise and that was really funny on the airplane and Maverick requesting a flyby. It's like nah. So then I thought, oh, I'm shit, I'm a shit writer. That's not that's not worthy of it.
How did you overcome those thoughts?
I just kept little by little, which is where I came up with the idea of of doable chunks. And what I mean by that is, instead of looking at the end of the road of the thing that you want to achieve, you know, the podium or the cash, whatever it is that you're going for, know that that's at the end of the road. Your intention. But if you just how you're going to get there is break it down into doable chunks and small doable chunks so that you can actually achieve it, and then you move
on to the next one. So that's how I got through. I was like, no, you've said you're going to write a book, and the amount of times as you know that I've quit. I've quit on stuff, I've quit on songs, I've quit on all sorts of stuff, quit on myself, and and we don't know where the end of the race is. So to quit at the ninety ninth meter of one hundred yard race or one hundred meter race, I don't know how many times I've done that, but
I know I've quit before I got the end. And I wasn't going to do that with this because I don't people were keeping me accountable. I talked about in my men's team, I'm writing a book, and part of that being in that men's team was being accountable. I told my manager Kathy Baker, I'm writing this book. I told obviously you knew, the kids knew, so it was really important that I finished. So I had to break it down into doable chunks and look what happened. You know,
there it is was sitting. It's in the bookshelves.
You did it.
I did it. You did that, and it feels great that I did it.
Yeah, of course it's a massive achievement. And that's what I was saying. You know, I've said along. Just the achievement is writing it and getting it. That's the achievement. Where it goes from there, it doesn't really matter. But just the fact that you've achieved finishing a book, I think, and I feel like that way for anyone who's anyone
who's written a book. You know, there are incredible writers and books out there that don't make any money at all that people will never get to read, but they're brilliant and it's just the art of writing and being able to do that. I think it's really amazing. How do you feel writing compares to your work in acting and music. Was it a different experience for you in writing this book?
Yes, it was different. It's still storytelling as such, but it is actually pure storytelling because I know that when I've read books, my imagination fills in. You know, we've all read a book and then gone to see the movie and it's like, it's not what I think that. How many times have you heard I prefer the book. Oh yeah, because you're.
Very rare, I prefer the movie. Yeah, very rare.
Yeah, you know, I think the Harry Potter movies came pretty close to too emulating what was on the page. For me, it was terrific. So it was a great
challenge for me too. And I love this challenge of getting down on the page what was happening and what I was feeling, Like those moments of stuttering in the classroom, having to give a test result, or with Big River or you know in America later on, those sort of stories really important for me to be succinct and give the most honest portrayal of what I was doing, and then allowing the reader to have their own to leave it open for that.
Soristing is really about playing a completely different person. So you're never Cameron Dado when you're acting, you know, but this you have to strip away everything to the core of Cameron Dado and right from there.
Correct. Yeah, I mean I had your example in my mind. I had a couple of other guys. As a couple of guys, one bloke who runs a charity called spoke to a bloke Scotty. He goes, I'm not going to I'm not going to read your book if it's all If it's fig jam, you know, you know, no, I've never heard that. Fuck, I'm good. Just ask me. It's an anagram, yeah, fig jams.
It's never had.
Yeah, yeah, fuck, I'm good. Just ask me big jam jam very much fig jam. He's like, I don't quite like big jam, but no, I don't want to be fig jam.
Yeah. You know.
He goes, it's got to You've got to make this raw, don't you. And I said, yeah, that's the whole point. That's the whole exercise. So it was really important to do that and to be as just cut it as honestly as I can. The therapist I was seeing at the time, you know, I gave her a couple of things to read and she said, you don't need display yourself open this much. So it's kind of like in acting.
Sometimes in an emotional role, it's better to hold back the emotion would be seen to be fighting the emotion rather than just blowing it out and look at me, I'm crying. I'm feeling something where the audience is going, I don't feel anything, but we actually feel a lot watching that person fighting the tears, because I think that's a more natural response of a human response, is to hold the tears back and do everything. I'm not going to let you see me cry.
Well, I'm going to say, Emma Thompson love Actually what a scene that scene. People talk about that scene so often because it's a woman keeping it to gather while she's had the worst news of her life, and it is so powerful, and it was so genius and she's just the best actress and it's such a vivid memory for so many people who've watched that film.
Absolutely, I mean, there's a whole acting school around it is not to show any emotion and you allow the audience to fill in the blanks, which is kind of what reading is anyway. As a writer, you're writing, you're writing the guide track, you know, and you're taking the audience on this journey. It's I'm thinking about that movie
The Dry, the book The Dry, which I loved. It was like, I'm following this narrative along and I'm filling in the I know this bush, I know this creek, I know I know I'm seeing this, so yeah, it's a different really enjoyed it. And so with acting, it's a given set of circumstances that I am playing as part of a bigger story. And I feel the same way when I'm when I'm singing on stage and with my guitars and telling the story or a narrative within a song and the music. That's why I love what
I do. I love this business of entertainment and that's why I've done I guess you know, Acros'm answering other questions you haven't even asked me, But so I like to distill. But it's why it's so varied, because I love telling the story.
Yeah, so you know, not telling you anything you don't know. As we've always talked about Australia and it's it has a bit of a terrible reputation in the sense of the tall poppy syndrome, where confidence can often be called being a whanker. So what's the difference to you between confidence and being a wanker? Is that the big jam?
Oh? I think fig jam is being a wanker? Yes, sure, obviously.
No.
I think with confidence comes a certain amount of humility and modesty because I think a truly confident person does not go out of the way to show people and tell people how good I am. You know, that's not what confidence is. And I think it's that it's that person that can walk into a room and know their value, know who they are. They don't feel the need to speak up or speak you know, it's not like he
notice me. They don't need that kind of validation. So yeah, I mean, yeah, we could go down a whole spire or tunnel of psychology here around it. But I think the truly confident person is one that knows their value and is humble and steps up when they need when they're called upon to step up. Yes, I can do that. Here's here's what I know. Here's what I understand without belittling anyone else around them, you know, without having to dominate,
without having to prove themselves to be right. It's just like, yeah, okay, you know you have yours. Say. I mean, I think that the mark of a truly mature person is someone who can actually not look at someone else who's telling a lie and feel the need to go, you're a liar. You just go just be quiet and no and move on. So it's just that quiet humility is a is a massive part of it. No, when to step up, No, when to step in and do it with grace.
Yeah, it's a bit of a curly question.
I'm going to ask you asking a question about our dog.
Yes, a bit of a curly one. So women, I'm so grateful that you have women in your book telling their stories of confidence as well. And I know that that was something I was really on me on you please have women in that because women are really challenged often with being seen as confident. They're often targeted as as bitchy or wanting to be a man if they're if they're confident, what did you learn about What did you learn from the women you interviewed about confidence?
I loved Elisa Heay, Australian cricket captain, what she had to say about it because she's been part of junior cricket since she was, you know, a youngster, and she just went about her business. She didn't and she ended up she just played with the boys because that's what she did and she got good and she was better
than like I think. She was the wicket keeper for the first eleven at her school and got the position over over one of the boys, and she was accepted by the boys, by the other players because they knew she was just that good. But she wasn't avert about it. And I think that that was a great lesson for anybody with confidence, if you're not to have just again, know your value and know what you do.
I wonder, though, I wonder if she to interrupt you. I wonder if she was told, oh, you play just like a boy. It's great that you can play like a boy and be part of the team, do you know. I mean that that's something that often women are often told.
I mean you have to ask her that.
You know what I mean, Like, it's an interesting one that you bring that up, because that's something that you know and as we know, that term you play like a girl has been used as a form of slander.
Yeah.
Absolutely, So if you can play like one of the boys, you can be part of the team. You know, it's an interesting one.
Yeah. So yeah, I think it's just allowing people to be what they are. And I get why, you know.
I think of Margaret Thatcher, the Prime Minister of England, and how she was known as the iron Lady and tough and Julia Gillard came across off and sometimes as tough and this whole men and women thing, and men want the woman to be nurturing, and when they're called upon to make decisions and be tough, it's like men jar especially old school guys, it jars them because they they don't they don't expect that, they're not used to that. So yeah, it's a tricky one, but it's I think
it's so great the shift. But now we're having these these women and wonderfully strong women who are like yourself, you know, vulnerable, and and that to me and okay with that. And I think when you're okay and you're accepting of where you're at it, it does there is
a strength in that. If I can turn it back into more of a non gender thing, it's that the the more you understand your own value, the more you know, if people don't want to hear your opinion, that's if the person that knows their value and feels okay with themselves, they're not going to try and impose it. And I just walk away and go, well, I don't need to be around those people. They don't want to hear from me. Yeah,
and I'm okay with that. Because I know that there are people that do want to hear from me, so I'll go find them rather than let it get to me.
Did you learn something new about yourself through the writing of this book.
I learned to I think quiet and down coolma jets. You know, I've been so critical of myself and I talked a bit before about stopping before the race is over or the task is done because of my critic self criticism.
Has that has getting to that finish line as you as you said, you've written the book, the book is out there. Has that Has that given you confidence because you've seen that you've actually finished a project.
Yes, yeah, it has and that and Kevin Sheety talks about his definition of confidence was about experience. So when he coaches people young footballers, boys and girls, he's taking them out to do all these different experiences. I read that, Yes, I.
Take them to the museum. He took them to an indigenous experience.
And so because the more experiences you have, the more confident you grow knowing that you can do this. I've done that, I've been there, I've tried that. I don't like that or I did like that, And so yes, in terms of like you've finished a book. I can always look back at that moment and go, mate, if you did that, you work, you can call on that hours and go. And you wrote a book, and so you can't lie to yourself and tell yourself that you can't do X, Y and Z, because you've done it.
So just small steps do it.
How has the How has the reception to the book been so far?
I think pretty good. Yeah, you know, I haven't spoken to a lot of people who have read it. I know people, some people who have sent me d ms on Instagram and things who have read it and enjoyed it. I haven't, you know, I haven't had too much of that response, so I must be honest. I don't really really know. I know my dad loved it.
I know he did. And my dad dad in fact, in fact, it's it's currently doing the round at his retirement home.
That his version. I want them to go out and buy their dam So it's it's.
Big in the retirement age. No, No, that's it's my dad. My dad reads. He's a prolific reader, and he really loves and it really took him by surprise in a wonderful way. So he's been talking about it so much, that's why people want to read it.
Yeah, and it's very kind. And I know John Bell, who is an actor. For those listening who don't know, John Bell's Australia's most you know, I would say he's our national treasure in Shakespearean Theater, a Belle Shakespeare Company. John read it and he's written a book himself, three books, I think, and he sent me a most beautiful note and finished it with you really are a very good writer. And so they was like, yeah, okay, yeah, I'll take that from Thanks from John absolutely.
And finally, what messages do you hope readers take from the book?
I think the message in the book is that I think our creator put us here to feel and experience things. I think we're meant to feel confident, We're also meant to feel a little anxious and a little bit maybe cautious because we don't feel that we might be able to achieve what it is we want to do. And
that's normal. And I think the message I want to put out there with the book is that we all deserve to feel confident at some point, and yet we are all experiencing that feeling of not being confident because we don't know. The point is to take action. The point is to be We'll start with curious, curiosity, and then of feeling value. So if you're curious and you have love for yourself, you feel value for what you have, and then you take action as a result of those
three things, you can that's it. That's I called that the confidence wheel, those three things, and you can jump in at any place on that wheel and curiosity and in.
The same place it has to has to have action in it though.
Yeah, we have to take action, and that's often the hardest thing. So do it in a doable chunk.
I think, do you need a T shirt with doable chunks on it?
I ever reads that. Well when I see chunks, I'm like, well that's just like.
But doable bits, doable steps. Yeah, small steps. Well, Cameron Daddo, the book is Keep It Smooth Life Lessons in Confidence.
Thanks for joining me here in the bathrooms my first podcast on about the book.
This is my first one.
It's a world first.
It is a world first, so yeah, thanks so much. And it's going to look so good in Christmas stockings, isn't it.
It's a beautiful looking book. Honestly, listeners. It is such a good book. I'm not just saying that. It is a delightful, rollicking read of like some amazing stories from Cam and how he puts it all together, amazing stories from other people. It honestly is such a good read. So do yourself favor god bye book. Download it you'll be able to. Oh you haven't done the the audiobook yet, that it is coming, it's coming. Read it on your
kindle whatever. Good summer ready. Thanks Honey, thanks for joining us. He hand the bathroom, Thanks Pistol, thanks for listening everyone. Bye,