Celebrating The Queer Voices On Separate Bathrooms

Hello, and welcome to Separate Bathrooms. We would like to acknowledge the Gadigal people of the e Or nation, the traditional custodians of this land, and pay our respects to the elders, both.

Past and present.

Minot's cam dado, I'm ali daddo.

How are you, honey?

Very good?

Thank you?

Haven't we had such a fantastic year this year on Separate Bathrooms. We've had some incredible guests and couples sharing this stories.

I know, we've had a really varied list of people this year, which has been so exciting, and we've been so privileged to hear many wonderful, heartwarming stories of relationships from all kinds, and some of the most gripping and vulnerable moments I think have really come from those in the queer and lgbt QIA communities.

We've had some rippers.

Yeah, and well, let's go straight to the heart of it.

Let's go I know where you're going, our own son.

What we thought we'd do today is relive and celebrate some of our favorite moments of the year on Separate Bathrooms from all the queer voices that we've had on the show.

Yeah, and here's one. It's our first in the lineup that we just was. It was just hilarious the retelling of the proposal between Reyes Nicholson and Kyron Wheatley.

Whilst it wasn't one of the most romantic ways to propose, it's certainly.

Made for a great story.

Have a listen.

Now you guys got married last year?

Yeah, and September finally, congratulations, great stuff.

It was a lot of fun.

Was there a proposal? Take us through that and who proposed.

Multiple It's a bone of contention within our relationship. Really, I mean, I've made it that way it Do you mean to tell my version.

Of the story and then you can Reese's version of this story is stand up so.

You'll get Yeah, I love it.

I'm buying a ticket.

Here we go.

Well, I mean, I actually don't remember how the stand up used to go, But essentially what happened was we went to a friend's wedding after we'd been together for quite a while, but not like maybe five years, maybe maybe five or six. Marriage wasn't legal at the time for us, Yeah, gay marriage wasn't wasn't legal in it right, But we had gone to a friend's wedding and it was a pretty like incredible one, one of those ones that you're like, oh, this is what all weddings should

Nights down she goes shoes off.

I think, yeah, that kind of like you're very not sexy undressing of your partner.

Yeah, yeah.

And I was just I kept saying this phrase that was like it was just such a good wedding. Wasn't it a good wedding? I just kept like saying over and over it was just a beautiful wedding. And Kara was like trying to go to sleep, and it's like, yeah, it was really great.

I gotta go to sleep.

And it's also four am.

Yeah, I've got to be on air in like two hours. And I just had this like epiphany moment whatever a negative epiphany is, and I said.

Hey, would you it was a good wedding and would you.

Do that also?

And Karen was like sorry, what, And I said, would would you would you do that also? And he's like and like I remember the lamp going back on and him like sitting up and going, are you are you proposing.

To me right now?

And I was like yeah.

And then I remember him saying, well, if you're going to propose to me, you need if you asked me to marry you need to actually ask me to marry you. And I just said, fine, will you fucking marry me? That was my proposal?

I said yes, And then I went to work that morning and I was on air with Gentfricker at the time on Triple J, and I knew that when I got home from work, I would have to see if Reese remembered proposing to me.

Yeah.

Yeah, So I wasn't able to yet tell anyone, share the news with anyone in case.

I got excitement.

Yeah, So I'm just holding that in. And then when I got home, I was like a little budgy.

Like, hello, do you do you remember anything about this morning?

Do you remember what you actually said?

So I wear this ring I've always this is like an heirloom, like this was my great grandfather's wedding band. And the way that you asked, and I think this is actually quite this is a very youth thing to do, where you were being very careful and you said, you know, after last night, you might need to move that over to the other finger. And if I was to say, I don't know what you're talking about, you could move on from that pretty quickly, I'd imagine. But but I had,

But then Kiren, well, yeah.

I did a much better job. So then was it the same year?

Okay, so you're talking days, weeks, months apart.

Yes, Well, I just felt it was unfair. I felt it was unfair that I wasn't allowed to propose now, and I think had like maybe grown up thinking that i'd propose a bit more. Maybe that was just like in my head. And then so I was like, well, screw it, I'm just going to propose back. That was a bad proposal anyway, so let's do a better one.

Let's go let's go around again.

But then I also then by me being as drunk that I was, and you were sober as I was, we weren't really able to, like you know, usually i'd imagine after you get proposed to and you say yes, there's like a kind of some sort.

Of consummation of that moment. But we didn't.

It would have been probably laws against Kiren having sex with me in the state that.

I was in.

So up next, we've got a really beautiful moment between father and son, Richard and Christian Welkins. I know Richard's a good mate of yours, and no parent obviously likes to see their child bullied. And Richard is such a gorgeous example of how tough it can be for parents to see this sort of behavior aimed at their children, and how he felt about Yeah.

Yeah, So amongst this adversity, Christian was able to thrive in an accepting, an open environment thanks to his his amazing parents and transform into the incredible person that we know Christian Wilkins to be today.

So true, So do have a listen to this one, Christian.

You have been so beautiful and vulnerable and open about being bullied in your earlier years. And I know again you know, talking about when someone that you love is being attacked in some way. I guess the question for you is, actually, Richard, how was that? Did you know that that was happening? And how did you feel?

No, I wasn't so aware of him being bullied at school, like physically bullied. I remember coming home from work one day when he was there and telling him about an article in the paper about him being the spoilt little whatever who had gone along to a function that I was hosting, the Mother of All Bars, with Brian Brown and Rachel Watt and their kids, and one of the gospel columnists wrote this hideous article and it broke my heart, and I didn't want him to hear about it from

Bully and picking on children.

So how did you? How did you do that? What did you say to Christian? In that moment? I started from telling him about it.

I'm telling I'm sorry, there's a horrible piece in the paper today, but I want to tell you about it. Do you want me to read it to you or you just want to wed? I can't even remember where we went from them, But you know, I don't think you read it to me. I don't know if I needed to be read it. Well, whatever, I think I read it, I wanted you to be aware. Yeah, so that's pretty awful. You hate seeing you know, people you love, you know, child or anybody being treated badly. It's just

You like, Yeah, I mean I told mum, because I guess teachers knew. I think it's just I think it's sometimes easy to actually forget how far we've come in quite a short period of time. You know, I'm only twenty nine, and sure we have lots of representation and diversity now, and it's you know, people are very encouraging and they're very aware of the language that they use. But still, when I was in you know, year three or four, I remember girls to he me and telling

And how do you think you've evolved that or how did you evolve that?

Because clearly that's you don't seem to lack confidence or value in yourself.

I definitely think a large part of it is my family and my parents. You know, they always very much encouraged me to be whoever I wanted to be. The conversation was always very open. I never needed to come out, I never needed There was never this straight until proven

We just let him be who he is and what a great result.

Yeah, that's right, that's right. We talk a lot about our son, and very similar. Mind you, he's a he's a he's a beefcake now, you know in his shorts and T shirts.

Loves them.

But when he was a little boy, like he just really loved to wear women's his sister's clothing, and was if it was Halloween, it was Lady Gaga, it was the good Witch of the North, like he always chose.

Of the West.

We need to hang out all love him.

He's awesome.

What I remember so vividly is, you know, someone asked him he had this big twirly skirt that he loved to wear, and someone said, why why are you wearing that?

Reven, He goes, because it just feels so good.

On my legs, and I went, yeah, like that makes so much sense to me, Like why can't he wear this? You know, not that he didn't. We never ever, ever said no to any of that. And you know, and my mum and dad, God loved them. They just thought it was delightful. And you know, they take him shopping at the costume store and it was straight to the princess to the princess outfit. It Fell's outfit. Yeah, it's just better like it was just yeah, And I think that's really hug to hear.

Well, he have a tutu that he was very fond of.

Are the best to dress up.

In the scotsmen have been doing it for centuries?

Yes, and they're as sexy as helen those kil.

Next up, we have International Drag Superstar and two times runner Round two dimes runner up on RuPaul's Drag Race, Hannah Conda.

Anna Conder. She is one special person.

This one pretty much had you on the verge of tears, Honey. In fact, I think it had its both on the aberge of tears.

Yeah.

It was that moment where I read the excerpt or the quote that was online from his dad and it was basically a letter or about his son, how he felt about his son, and it just touched me because father sons. Yeah, of course acceptance. That still touches me when I think about it, because it's so important that we one acknowledge our children but also speak of them in that way. I mean, I think our words are so powerful. I think they're like spells. And he cast a gorgeous spell.

Yeah he did.

And Hannah conder Is is the person that she is today because of the way you know, they were raised, and just it had us all feeling so emotional, and she's so proud of her father.

And her whole family.

So all right, let's just jump straight into it before it gets me going again.

We have a quote here from your dad.

Oh yes, and it was.

In a response to a really shitty article hateful woman.

I remember her.

Do you want to read it?

Yeah?

Oh, of it.

It's so beautiful because.

This is going to I think because we have a son, River who's been dressing in well he hasn't he hasn't kept up kept up with her, but he certainly for all of his boyhood he dressed as princesses and loves and so I think this is going to he So I don't know if I can read.

It, because I haven't read it.

No, I'm going to take a big deep breath, say why not? Okay, Yeah, this is okay.

My son is Hannaconda, a drag queen, and a very good one at that. He is a beautiful human being who has dedicated much of his life, to his craft, his family, and above all, his community. I too will do whatever it takes political posting mama to protect my children. But my job as a parent is to give them a good grounding in their life and to be supportive of their endeavors, to lead by example guide them to

Oh that's your dad, that's your dad. Dad, he is he is like he I have said it before. He's my like he is my my, my hero. Both my mum and my dad are very very called them new age. We we'd like when we grew up. We did like reiki, we did hands on healing as a family. You know, we've always been like like things were going wrong with like mental health or whatever.

We'd be like. Therapy was a big thing too. We're a very open family.

We talk about a lot of stuff, and I think that sometimes gets Jack a little bit because.

I'm a talker.

I'm an open book and we and like our family is very very open and like Jack sometimes goes, oh my god, just you know, this is a.

Lot of feelings.

He's also British is.

Also yeah, they're very reserved and they don't really do that. But my dad, he he is just an example of somebody that you know, can't understand how anybody could not love their child for for who they are, Like they take us where where they guide us and that and that's the fundamental lesson he's always taught us, is that we just we pay our taxes and we be good people.

Like that is it?

You know, he said you could have nothing, but as long as you smile and be a good person, that's all I want from my children.

And I think that's a really important lesson.

And something what else is there?

You know, Like people want to work and be around nice people and that are easy to easy to be around. And my dad is definitely that person. He's Yeah, he's a superhero.

He really is.

When he wrote that as well, like it just I didn't know he was doing that, and oh I just melted my heart, like because I was. I wasn't because in drag you. Over the years, there's been so many things staring us, but we get a thick skin, like we very thick skin. So even though that, you know, because I was getting death threats, so I was getting all these horrible things sent to me, and I just didn't let it face me because you just carry on.

Yeah.

But my dad he was like, no, I'm not standing for this because he has seen when he's come to the bars, how many kids deserted by their family and they become like surrogate parents yea. And they sit there and they talk to them and they have all these like you know, kids all around them, just sitting and.

Enjoying and they love it.

There's a photo of them that goes on their on their TV at home with them and they're like, oh, there are leather daddy friends that they've met. There's just these old older couple that live in Sydney and there there the leather daddies.

We love our leather daddy friends.

Yeah, but they just you know, nothing, And I feel like that's very similar to the two of you. It's like, I think your essence is very much the same as what my parents are. And you know, you just take people where they're at and just yeah, you know, who's just being a good person and you both do that, and I feel like you'd.

Get along with my mom, And I loved that already.

Yeah, they're funny, all right.

If I had to choose a favorite.

Episode, would you, I'm going to have to choose this one.

I got a text message from someone who I don't know very well, was a neighbor, yeah, saying that she listened to this episode.

And how much it touched her.

Yeah, and she I mean, she was like, I knew people were nice, but I had no idea of what the conversations are like inside your home. She walks past the home every day with Doc, and it was just such a delightful text to receive about this episode.

Yeah.

Well, we of course are talking about the first time ever we had our very own son, riv riverd River Dado on the podcast.

We spoke about a lot of hilarious life moments and some of your he is most challenging, and the one that where we're living today involved all of us Dados.

Yeah.

And you know, for any person who is gay and coming out, if we use that word, it's a very raw or it can be a very raw and vulnerable experience, even though it should just it should just be nothing.

It should just be who they are and fully accepting.

You know.

It's it's enough that we have to sort of out people or make a big deal of people being gay. It's just who you love is who you love. And that's something that we've always talked about with our kids. But you know, society reaped its way with even riv And.

Yeah, he talks about that without further ado. This is our son.

So you said between eight and nine that you kind of had that recognition with yourself that you weren't into girls. It took a little while longer than that for you to come out. Yeah, and when you came out to.

Us, there were a lot of tears for you.

I didn't you asked me, Yeah, you asked me.

Okay, So how was that for you that time, that that moment, although that leading up to that, and how was it through that and how did you feel once the cat was out of the bags?

Weird?

It was weird because I felt like, you have like this and it wasn't even that like I didn't think you guys were going to accept it or anything like that. It just I just didn't feel like ready, Like I was like, I don't really want I don't know how to have this conversation. Yeah, I don't know how to like initiate it. I think so probably it was a good thing that you guys did ask, because it probably would have taken a lot longer for me to say anything.

Anyways. But yeah, no, that day was that was a crap day. That was a bad day.

Because yeah, I remember I'd like, you didn't like the group of friends that I was with. They knew i'd come out to them, and then you guys, I had they'd set me up on the apps and then I remember that the apps was connected to my old iPad that I'd given to Body, and Body was getting messages and it was just like it was.

It was. It was a messy, messy day.

I remember we were I was supposed to have dinner with those group of friends and I we were on a walking down the street and Dad's car pulls up when I was like, oh, I was like, Dad, you're early, and he's like, no, I'm here to pick you up. Yeah, silence on the way home. And then it wasn't until later on that you kind of said that you knew everything and asked me, and yeah, I remember crying. I think I said sorry. I said sorry to you guys,

I think, Yeah, there was so much around that time, like there was a lot of there was a lot of hiding of other things that was happening. Yeah, so we were really like, what is happening to rib like, and it was yeah, that group of friends that were kind of a new group of friends were just getting into some stuff that was really illegal and like not great, and that was what we were concerned with. And then that question just came out and it was it was

And even just the fact that we asked you.

Like some days I just go there was no need to come out, there's no need to ask the question, you know, we just wondered if there was something connected to that that was causing the distress in your life because you hadn't sort of said, look, yeah I am gay. So that was why that question came out the way it did. But I know, like, I feel like a lot of things changed after that. I feel like it

Yeah, definitely, Yeah, yeah, for sure, I think that that definitely happened.

Yeah. Yeah.

When I told you, you were like, oh, we've known since you were two.

Yeah, yeah, that was that was what I Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well we thought we knew. For me, there was a question.

Then for me there was a bit of like.

Because I you know, I've tried so hard to get you into Bury looking for the motive bombers.

And be.

Part of footy and stuff and to find ways to connect with you and whether that be as we you know, cooking or the doll dressmaking or whatever it was that all those things that you were you were into and the question I would say, I wonder if is he gay?

Is he not gay?

And Alan and I Mum and I would talk about it, and then it became it doesn't matter, does it matter if he is or not? And then I remember Lotus came to me, uh, probably maybe a year or so before you'd finally come out, and she said, Dad, she goes, he's not gay. Ah, he's not gay. And I said, what do you mean he's not gay? She said, well, he left.

His diary or you know, in my room and I read it, and the stuff that he's writing about.

He's not.

She read it.

She was young too, well, she knew better than to read someone's diary well wherever it will just say she knew about her.

I'm going to text her after that.

That's true. Talking more about that.

I am true. I am sure about it.

But she said, maybe maybe you didn't read the She just said what I read.

What he wrote about so and so, huh, and whether it was maybe I'm elaborating on the diary issue.

She's still a sneak, but that's fine.

Alrighty well, this is our final moment we wanted to share with you today. It comes from one of our most enjoyable, laugh filled interviews of the year.

Yeah.

I remember having a sore face after this song from laughing so much. Anthony Cola and Tim Campbell had us in fits of laughter from the moment there in the studio, and when we asked him if they liked karaoke, they followed up the question with a really hilarious tale.

What does being a dolphin trainer and singing karaoke have in common?

Well, you're about to find out.

Take a listen karaoke. Are you into karaoke?

Okay?

Iao?

I hate it in Australia.

What I do like though, Why why Australia is because you're well known.

Well, I just like to have a bit of fun, especially when we go to La and I used to do this quite a bit, Like they used to be this bar up the road, and like they used to have like a drink tab on offer, you know if you won the competition for like three hundred bucks or something. And I'm just like okay. So we went with a few friends and I like to make up names. So I'm usually Adam and I'm a dolphin trainer from the Gold Coast. Tim Shrevor, he works for his parents building company.

Bite because you were too good.

Yeah I do.

I do like the story all the time.

I'm always like, you know, Adam a dolphin trainer from the Gold Coast.

Yeah, gosh, I got disqualified mud wrestling in Los Angeles because I was too good at wrestling.

They free me out.

That is an actual true story.

Hilarious.

I like to do more about Yeah, he was.

He was also wrestling a woman in a bikini.

Heaven, You're.

Smash.

You and us go to very different bars.

Well, there you go.

That's the I mean. We had a lot of queer voices on separate bathrooms this year, and it was really.

Difficult to choose yes, so we did our best.

If you want to go back and revisit other episodes, please feel free listen to the whole thing.

I'm going to say, go back and listen to the whole thing because all of them are delightful. We really enjoyed talking to everyone that we mentioned today.

I was just thinking, it's it's a really good beach podcast listening. If you're lying on the on the sand, enjoying the enjoying the sun and the sand, you know, well, we'll catch up with the next time on separate bathroom.

Thanks for listening, mm hmm.