Hello, and welcome to the Heart of It. We would like to acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation, the traditional custodians of this land, and pay our respects to the elders, both past and present. My name's Cam Daddo, Mal Daddo. This is fun.
Yeah, we get to introduce a chat that we had with Australian country music Burgeoning on legend.
Star Casey Barnes's gorgeous wife Michelle, who's also a musician. We found now as well when we had our chat with them, and you know Casey's music.
And life story.
They're so deeply rooted in themes of love and you'll really hear that in our chat with them, how much they love each other and they love their music.
They share insights on maintaining a very strong partnership, oh yeah, and they deal with a lot they've overcome challenges and blissfully finding hope and peace through music.
Yeah yeah.
Casey really turns his personal experiences into relatable anthems and we thought that that's why they would make the perfect guest for the Heart.
Of It, right and they were.
They got to the heart of it in such a beautiful way he talks about the proposal.
Of which is pretty funny. Absolutely, we realize that they've got a shared favorite destination on the northern New South Wales coast, so you'll hear about that as well.
And of course we share something with them, our daughters. They've got two daughters. We have obviously two daughters and a son. But our two girls their love of music and they're beginning to well, certainly our youngest is setting foot in the music world.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a great chat. Please enjoy. It's a fabulous chat and we loved it. Yeah, yeah, Please welcome Casey and Michelle Barnes. Welcome Casey and Michelle to the heart of it. How how did you meet?
Who's going to tell that one we met?
I used to do a regular Sunday afternoon acoustic gig. That's what I started out doing on the Gold Case, you know, probably twenty years ago, and I was playing this little Sunday afternoon gig and Michelle just happened to walk past with a group of friends and you can take it from there.
Oh that's nice, okay, lisas a group of friends, he's being very nice. I was actually with my boyfriend at the time who and his friends as well, but they were just.
Like, who is this guy? He is so good?
So we went over and started listening to him, and as actually my boyfriend at the time, became Casey's biggest fan, so he would make me go to all of these gifts with him. But we were definitely not looking at each other as boyfriend and girlfriend because I'm five years older than Casey.
So for me at the time, I just saw him as.
This really great young guy who was super professional and greated his job, and we started hanging out and talking industry, so we weren't even really looking at each other in that way whatsoever. We just became great friends. So it was really nice way to start to be honest.
Yeah, when was the tipping point that you both realized, hang on a minute, is this more than a friendship?
Ridgit Jones is diary. That'll do it.
We went to a movie and we used to play tricks and it was really funny. We'd pretend we were boyfriend and girlfriend and we'd go to these movies and we'd we'd have these little jokes that we'd say at the counter, like, you know, make it look like we're on this really awkward date or something. So he'd be like, oh, so are you going to pay fifty percent? And I'd be like, oh, okay, then yeah, I guess so, and the person serving us would be just like.
Oh, this is awkward. And anyway, it was just all a joke.
But then we're being silly and then we're kind of walking back to the car laughing, and then he kind of grabbed my hand and I was just like oh, and then it was nothing. And then yeah, as he was leaving that night, we used to always have a little cup of tea on the couch at the end of the night. We're just such great friends. And then he just kind of looked at me and he said, I just think I'm going to have to kiss you.
And I started laughing. I was like what, no, no, you And then yeah, so there was like this kiss and then he went home and were kind of like what happened there? That was like really strange. But then once we kind of took the leap, it was just like, what were we doing this whole time?
We are just so meant to be together. Everyone else saw it.
I'm going to But in my version of the story is slightly different. As soon as I saw Michelle, I knew, you know how you know.
Like as soon as she walked up, I was I was playing the gig and I was selling my little independent CD at the time, you know, and Michelle walked up just have a look at the CD. But as soon as she walked over, I knew there was something there. You know, probably not to the scale of where it's where it ended up going, but I just knew that there was something special about her. And I think the fact that we both started out as really good friends was the you know, probably the basis it's.
The best she just I think you when you're dating someone, it's kind of like, oh, I better not say that because they might not like it, or you know, I don't really think you're being your true authentic self in that kind of beginning of your.
Relationship, I guess.
But for us, we kind of knew everything about each other.
Like what's and all, so it was sort of.
Like it was a really nice way to sort of start a relationship because there was no pretenses.
It was just so authentic and real. Yeah, that's so true.
Do you think you're if you think remember back to your first impressions, do you think they were right of each other.
Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, to the point where I think we're both very I guess, very spiritual people people and and I'm a true believer on you know, picking up on energies of people when you meet them, and you know, you can walk into a room and you know how you get that first impression, and I really believe in
that and gut feels. And as soon as I met her, I think there was such a deep gut feeling to the point where I think I knew subconsciously that if this does go to the next level, this is it, this is this is the one, This is the person I'm going to be with for the rest of my life. And it's like, and I think we'd both we'd both come out of, you know, different different relationships before we
met one another. You know, I'd had a relationship that didn't in great Michelle had some stories from her previous relationship that we both been like before we met each other, and so I think we're a bit apprehensive. We wanted to take things slowly just so that we didn't want to get hurt again, you know.
So that was Yeah, Michelle, is your ex boyfriend still Casey's number?
One fan or has that changed now. It's a good point, I think so. I think he did actually come to your show recently.
He's a really nice guy. He's a lovely guy.
He's got good chase taste in music and women clearly, so.
We kind of owe it to him. Really let you go otherwise.
Yeah, yeah, okay, Casey, give us give us the gossip on the how you asked Michelle to marry you.
How was that experience? Funny?
It wasn't. It was an orthodox it was.
It could be interpreted in probably two different ways depending on where you sit on things, but I wanted to do something different, and man, this could also sound like
you're a super widow stalker. But we were both We were both involved in music at the time, and Michelle was still singing in a corporate band, and so I knew that one particular night she had an event on out at the Royal Pines, which is an events based here on the Gold Coast, and I knew what time the gig finished, and I planned to write a handwritten note and put the ring inside her glove box in her car, so when she got into the car, there was a note that just said open the glove box,
and there was the ring and then I.
Come from hiding fromhere and pop the question.
In hindsight, when I look back at that, there's a lot of red flags.
It does sound a little bit weird.
And well it was because I'd had this really creepy guy that night kind of saying, you know, what are you doing after the show, and I was like going home. You know, this really weird guy and he kept kind of loitering, and so I was walking back to my car with one of my bandmates, and you know, then I saw this note in my glovebox. Now, logic doesn't set in as hard of this guy get in my glove you know, in my car to put this in my glove box, Like that wasn't even a thing.
Logic was not a thing.
So I'm thinking, this crazy stalker guy has put something into my glovebox and I'm like.
Oh, look, it was hilarious. So I was not for a minute. He's smart though.
Because he knows i'd be onto it, Like if he books some romantic getaway, I'd be like, what's going on here? You know, he knew, so he had to do something that was way left field, and it was it was just so funny because I was like petrified and he's watching it like from Afar, losing it at me, going.
I don't want to open it. You open it, you do it, you know.
It was just so funny with my girlfriend. And then yeah, and then when I saw it, it was just this beautiful ring that we had kind of looked at rings and I was picking very like low key modest because I never wanted to be you know, oh wait about that one, you know, but he picked this amazing ring.
Oh we can see it here.
It's actually, oh.
My god, it's gorgeous. Wow, it's really beautiful. It's really unique.
And I was like, oh he saw that, and he's like, what about this one. I was like, oh, don't be silly, like that's out of control. And yeah, so I just see this ring in the glove box and I was just like wow. And then there are years over on one knee in the car PA. I was very funny. It was so cool because I just did not see it coming.
Yeah, well done, well done, Casey. You went out of the glove box on that one.
Well done.
It's a little different.
Michelle, tell us a little bit about you, as we've said you know, Casey, we know a lot more about but you so you actually are a singer where a singer, you're in the music biz too.
Yeah, look, I'm sure you'll be able to relate to this Ali in the sense that you know, you, like I had forged like a career doing you know, like a lot of stuff in the arts, and then obviously when babies come along it it does have to take somewhat of a back seat, so you know once, yeah, once our girls were born, I kind of I think that's sort.
Of when your career kind of really started to escalate.
So I just think one of us needed to kind of take a step back. And at the time, Casey's career was kind of going further ahead and me wanting to be home with my babies. It was hard, though, Like I will say, it was really difficult because as much as you are so so happy to see your partner succeed, it is tough sometimes when.
You do you just have to take that back seat. And as much as you want to be doing it and you wouldn't have it any other.
Way, it is difficult when your career is something that makes you.
Who you are.
That was tough, Yeah, especially seeing as though it's the same career. It's not like Casey was excelling in architecture.
You know, yes, it's your field as well. So yes, I had a really funny memory.
Actually wasn't funny at the time, but Casey, I think, called me and he said.
Oh my gosh, like I'm front row.
At Beyonce, like it was part of, you know, something that he was doing with work.
And he's like, I'm front row at Beyonce.
And I'm in tears at the time because my dog had just thrown up my eldest she was only a toddler at the time.
She's crawling through the vomit.
I'm bawling my eyes out because it was like this tipping point of I am just so struggling on my own here. And then Casey called, of course, because he's so excited. He couldn't believe he had this opportunity, and I was so excited for him. But then here I am kind of just going, oh, this is just so you know, it just was just this moment of and that's that's how it is right now.
You know, we now have a phrase, don't we, honey, that we use for those moments that we actually stole from Paul Field and his wife.
Well, yeah, you use it more than I do, Yeah.
For sure, Which is we live in two very different worlds because I'm in your world, Michelle, and Cams Cam's in cases well where yeah, I'll be at home with the kids and fixing the dishwasher that's clogged, and Cam's like, I'm in the south of France sipping champagne and about to get into a ferrari for luxury escapes, and It's like, go have a great time, sweetheart.
I'm just going this is just so removed from where I am right now. Different worlds.
So yeah, yeah, now that you've mentioned the kids of times, are they following? How old are they? And are they following the musical footprint?
Well?
Can I say it's plural? Can I just say on that note too? I noticed, is it your daughter?
Your eldest daughter has just is into music as well, plays and just did her first Yes.
When we saw your daughter, I was like, they looked like their sisters number one, and they sound alike. I was like I showed I showed the video to Caw. I'm like, it looks like body like this is wild.
They need to become friends.
I was as well because I saw that and I could relate to how proud you both were. And I guess we're going through that that same feeling at the moment where both of our girls have naturally got into music, we've sort of deliberately tried not to push them in that direction.
We've sort of, you know, introduced them to music.
They've picked up a guitar, and they both got into it. But our eldest is she's sixteen, Charlie, and she is just obsessed, Like she plays every day and she's just getting to the point where she's far far better than I ever was at sixteen.
Put it that way, it's like it's crazy.
Yeah, well, I mean I've been saying this about Bodes as well. That I mean, when you were sixteen, Casey, with all due respect, there was not ultimate guitar and YouTube videos and all those I mean incredibly generous artists out there now showing how things are done and how to do stuff. So body's picking up all the I mean, it's like, yeah, I'm the same thing. She's way beyond where I was, as you know, as a teenager playing.
Yeah, I think my mom my mom was the one that got me into music. She had a handwritten this is how much Things have changed? A handwritten notebook of all her favorite songs. You know, it was old Beatles tracks and James Taylor and you know, Rolling.
Stones and Elton John.
And she would loan me the notebook and her acoustic guitar and I'd sit in the room in my room and try and teach myself how to play, and you know, read the lyrics and the chords above every lyric, and that's how I learned.
That was before before the internet and all that stuff.
Were you one of those guys that actually, I mean I sat next to the record player and I would have the have the lever that flipped the needle up and down, and I'd knock it back and I'd listen. I'd listen about what's he doing there, Like what's James Taylor doing there? Or Jim Croche, what's happening there? And then I'd knock it back again and I put it down and play it and try and redo it. And their tunings were always different, and I'm like, god, this.
Yeah, absolutely absolutely, And there's so many weird, serendipitous things that actually, like it's getting a little off the topic, but I remember one of the first CDs I got as a teenager was was Brian Adams's Greatest Hits. It must have been for Christmas, and I sat and the bedroom exactly the same thing, learned how to play every song note for note, and always had this vision and dream of one day that's what I wanted to do. And I think I knew that from a younger age.
But funnily enough, fast forward to I think it was two thousand and five. It's a long story, but the first big break that I got in music was opening for Brian Adams, and it was the spin out that that actually happened, you know.
That's what was.
Even the biggest spin out about that.
Yes, he picked me out of the audience, Like I was just I've been selling all the cases merch and I just walked as I was walking in, he chooses a girl out of the audience to sing the song that he did with Sporty Spots.
So he's just going, oh, yeah, it's a great song.
It's a great song.
Yeah I knew it too, but he's just like you, and I just was, like I was like Courtney Cox out of dancing in the dark, and then all the security came over and they're like lifting me up to the stage.
I was like, what, this is crazy and yeah.
And then it was funny because we were in Mudgie at the time. It was like Day on the Green in Mudgie. And and then he said, oh, where are you from? And I said I'm from the Gold Coast and the whole crowd just booed. I was like, oh, I'm thinking moving the mudgy yay. And then they said, well, what do you do for a living? And I thought, oh, if I tell them I'm a singer, it'll just be so I said, oh, I'm a legal secretary.
It just just happened to karaoke, and I do know the words when you go, and.
He said and as I started singing, because they normally have the MT they have it quite the mic quite low because often no one can sing that gets up.
And then I started and of course I'm singing the harmony. Yeah, He's like, he looks at me and he goes legal secretary my eyes. Yeah.
It was really really cool, so we both got our our moment with Brian.
It was very cool and she actually freaking nailed it too, which is it.
Was so fun.
It was like it was life changing.
I loved it.
What's what's it like at home for the four of you then? Or on road trips? Did the four of you singing together all the time?
Or at home at home? It's constancy.
It's like I'll walk in if I've been out for the day and it's it's the best, it's the best environment to come home to. I'll walk in and open the door and I can straight away here Michelle singing and Charlie singing and playing the guitar and Emmy singer and sometimes you know, they'll get into like a three part harmony thing, and I don't know.
We're not the Partridge family who sit around, you know, with the guitar and sing together. It's kind of like just little moments of we're off doing our own thing. But yeah, it's cute, it's nice. It's like, I feel very blessed that we could all sing, because it's like, if there was just one that was really tone deaf, it'd be really it would really suck for them.
Sadly, that's me, Michelle one in the family. I can dance to the singing, but I cannot. I'm just like I ruined.
Him, she's the biggest fan. Lotus, lotus and body just start. One of them starts singing something, the other one throw a third harmony over the top of it, and it's sibling sibling harmonies are.
That makes me cry.
It's just like you need to reenact that scene out of is it Step Brothers where they're in the car and the family's all doing the harmonies. But and you can get up ally and just say singing lessons not paying off.
That would be Michelle take This question usually goes to the artist, but I want to ask you this, Michelle, take us into the life of a country music star in Australia as a partner. What do you see your your man is having a lot of success and how how from your perspective, what is that like?
Gosh, you know, it's been hard. It's been really really hard. I mean it's not like the US, where I think they really get behind their artists.
Like Casey.
You know, he was he was having a career for many, many, many years and it only really sort of I would say, like twenty years into it is when he was acknowledged
as a new talent. So it's been a really long, long journey and one where you know, I'm amazed at his tenacity, you know, to just keep going has been remarkable, and I think, you know, I've always been of the opinion with him, you know, it's just like, oh yeah, but if you stop now, this could be the moment, you know, like something might be just around the corner. So I've always kind of really tried to back him in that sense.
But yeah, look, it's been really really hard.
But once I think, you know, he became managed by really blessed to become managed by Michael Chugg, who is i mean, one of he's just royalty in Australia with music. And I feel like once that happened, I think people really started to go, Okay, this guy's behind him.
We really need to get behind him.
So it's been really wonderful since Chug he's been on board.
But in the daily life of a country artist, I mean, it's just.
Him working so hard, Like I think people just imagine it as you just you know, you go and do a gig and it's great and that's all you do kind of thing.
But he is on email all.
Day every day, He's rehearsing his you know, it's a constant constant slog He's never clocking off, that's for sure.
Casey, you agree with all that she got it right, well, absolutely, But I think the other thing is, you know, there's absolutely no way that I'd be here doing this and would have kept doing it for so long if it wasn't for Michelle, and they've been I literally just just wrote a song which will hopefully be on my next album, which is literally telling the story of.
What it's been like and having the support from Michelle.
And it's called The Woman That You Are, and and it sort of touches on many many times where I've you know, had those conversations of I don't know if I can keep doing this. I don't know if I can keep writing this emotional rollercoaster of the highs and the lows and the knockbacks, and then you'll get this lucky break that'll keep you going, and then there'll be another little setback.
But I've been very, very lucky.
As Michelle said, you know, since you know, getting Chuggy on board, which sort of started as a joke in a studio when we were recording one of my previous albums. The boys sort of said, you know, we think this is your your best album yet you really need to get the right team behind you. And who would you if you had your wish list? Who would be at the top of your wish list? And jokingly at the time, I said, well, Michael chug he'd be He'd be at
the top of my list. And we talked about it, and the boy said, well, why don't you flick him an email and send him some of the songs And it started out as a bit of a joke and I send it, sent some tracks through to Chuggy and long story short, here we are now and it all
paid off. But a lot of this is to do with Michelle and all the time she said keep going, and she's given me ideas and strategies and things that I should try, and she's just always believed in me and believed in what I'm doing and maybe seen a bigger picture.
And yeah, I'm super grateful, very lucky.
Yeah, in those moments of writing the Rollercoaster.
And you're on the.
Downward spiral, what did you think that you were going to need to go do? Like if you were leaving the music industry, were you like, I'm just going to go be a postman or like, what did you have any other alternative of this?
Was it?
Well?
Really, this is always been it for me, and I think for any young artist that's looking to get into this as a career. You know, I see a lot of you know, friends and colleagues that are wanting to get into the music industry and they've sort of got one foot off the cliff and one foot on and they haven't made the full jump, and that's probably half of the reason why they're not going to that next level.
And I think, if you really want to have a crack, you've got to do it.
You've just got to step off the ledge and take that risk and know that maybe it's not going to happen overnight. But you know, I remember sitting down with my mum and dad twenty years ago, and I was still working at Flight Center at the time as a travel consultant and doing that in the day and then doing pub gigs at night time. And then the pub gigs started to take off, and I was wanting it hard to balance doing both, and I sat down with mum and dad and I said, I think I want
to give this music thing a crack full time. And both of my parents have always been incredible, and they said, you know, that's what you want to do, that's what you should do, and you can always go back to Flight Center if you want to. And thankfully, here we are twenty years later, I've never had to go back. I've been lucky enough to make a living out of it, and you know, things like that, and then other little
serendipitous things that have happened. I remember doing a pub gig here on the Gold Coast around the same sort of time. And you know, one of the best bits of advice I got given when I started doing music was whenever you do a show, no matter how big it is or how small it is, just play the gig with the attitude of you never know who's sitting there in the crowd listening. It's such a good piece of advice and it's always paid off on times when
I've least expected it. And this one night I was doing this pub gig, and it might have been you know, midnight or coming up to one o'clock in the morning, and there was a guy that was at the bar and he was just really I could tell he was just really enjoying the gig and he was listening and came up to me in one of my breaks and he said, have you got five minutes, you know, I'd
love to have a quick chat to you. And he ended up giving me this incredible pep talk and a kick up the backside and just said, what are you doing wasting your time here on a Tuesday night playing other people's songs? Why are you not writing your own music? And why you're not playing your own shows? And it was just this incredibly perfectly timed chat and kick up the bum and I said, well, yeah, I do want to do this. And he said, well, what's going to
set you apart from everyone else? And I said, well, these are the reasons why I think, you know, I'm better than you know other people out there doing it.
And he said, well, you've got to go out and do it.
And as it turns out, his name was Clint Bog and he was the lead singer of a rock band up in Brisbane called The Butterfly Effect, and he ended up getting on board and being a real motivator at the time, and it was just one of those things where it was exactly what I needed. And yeah, just funny things that happened along the journey.
You know, isn't that great. They're kind of like those those angels. Yeah, the guardian angels that just step in and give you that key piece of information or whatever it is that just needs you to push yourself to that next step.
Yep.
We lived in the States for twenty five years and you know, Keith Urban was massive, like he was, you know, just winning all the awards in America and everything. And we moved back here and it was almost like people knew him, but like, oh on, Nicole Kidman's husband, and
it was really kind of interest. I mean, of course people know him, but it was kind of this interesting thing of like, this isn't this isn't Aussie who's done unbelievable stuff in America and he still almost didn't feel like he was getting the kudos of what he deserved in Australia and being so proud of him. What is it about country music in Australia that you feel doesn't quite get the push or the experience or the love that it's.
So so deliciously.
Deserves, because we've got some incredible country stars here with voices of just absolute angels.
It's a good question. I think I think it's starting to change. I think there's been a huge shift, especially in the last couple of years, where this new generation coming through have actually gone, you know what, country's cool, And it's really exciting to see the shift. And I think it's a it's a combination of a lot of things. I think some of it's to do with commercial radio starting to play a little bit of country and the listeners going, you know what this is? Actually these are
actually good songs. And I think there was a misconception out there for a lot of years where when you talk to Australians about country music, they thought it was just a specific sound and.
Slim dusty type country.
Yeah, and we love slim dusty and we love Lee Kernighan, and there's so many greats that are that have been around for a long long time. But the beauty of country music that I think Australians are just starting to realize is there's a huge variation in styles of country
music and there's something for everyone. And and you know, when you've got the likes of Luke Colmb's coming out now and filling stadiums and three nights in a row, it's ridiculous and you watch the fans and you see country come to the Big Smoke and like we we went and saw his show in Melbourne a couple of weeks ago and it was just so cool to see all of these people that have come from regional parts
of Australia come into town. You know, they filled Marvel Stadium and it's just so exciting and it's it's blowing up.
It's really really, really exciting.
So I think there's a bit of a shift and it's probably a great time to be a country artist.
You know, it's been a struggle, but it's starting to turn around.
Yeah, good, it's great. Can I just take you back just to one thing. Australian idol is on TV at the moment, and I know you have a relationship to that. Casey, when you say you've got you see the young artist and they've got one foot on the cliff and one foot off the cliff, what would you say to those guys you know who are there? They are there's a there's a country guy on there, you know who's obviously you know, very well established in the country world. Anyway,
come his name escapes me at the moment. But what does that mean to step off the cliff?
It means there's no safety net. It means that you know, don't don't be afraid. I think one of the things that that stops everyone in life, doesn't matter what they want to do, what their goals are, is the fear of failure or embarrassment or ego or whatever it might be. And I think, you know, if you can let go of that and realize that there's going to be times when it's going to be tough, there's going to be times where it's not going to always go the way that I want it to, but I'm going to learn
from it. I'm going to grow, I'm going to try and get better every day, and you know, you don't necessarily need to rush things. I think that's where I'm lucky to have that little bit of wisdom behind me now, even from going on Idle. When I was on the show, I was probably a little bit older than a lot of the contestants in the Top twelve the year that I was on, and it was this funny little bubble that we lived in while we're on the show, where it wasn't really what reality was going to be like.
You know, we were pretty lucky, you know, we were living in this when we're on the show. We were living in this beautiful mansion and you know, on the water down in Sydney there, and we had a full time chef and bodyguards and luxury. Limo has taken us everywhere, and I think some of the contestants got into this idea of well, this is what life's going to be like. Now, this is this is it. It's never going to be
the same. And and then there was this massive reality check of coming off the back of the show, of realizing, Okay, well now I'm back in the real world and now this is when the real work starts. And I think I was lucky enough to have that little bit of wisdom to know that, you know, that was a great opportunity and I made some new fans and I learned a lot of stuff. But now I've got to dig in and do the work and try and make the most of this opportunity. And yeah, that's that's a big thing.
But yeah, it's for anyone that wants to have a crack. You've just got to know that.
You know.
Sometimes I'll have parents of you know, kids that are super talented reach out to me online and ask for some advice and you know, sometimes it's not the advice they want to hear in that give it time. You don't want it to happen too fast, because if it happens really quick and you're young, it can disappear really quick as well.
Interesting, Michelle, how are you guiding your daughters with the music? You are? They like gangbusters for sort of we want to be putting out records. I mean a use sort of being the mumma jo as they say already, Look.
I think I'm the one kind of yeah, really looking at it from the nuts and bolts in the sense that I'm like, Okay, what will it take if this is what you've chosen to do. I'm being quite you know, logical about it and going, okay, well, I think you need guitar lessons, So you know, this afternoon I'll be driving and taking the girls to guitar.
Lessons and developing that way.
And I think that also will then determine do you really want to do it? Because if you love it, you'll do whatever it takes.
To, you know, to get there.
And you know, I want to make sure that they want to do it, like I did not at all say to them. You know, you should get guitar lessons, but I would suggest it like, oh, maybe, now that you've started your music course at school, you know, did you want to maybe get some lessons or you're happy not to.
Oh no, I'd like to do that. You know.
So there's been no from either of us. He's been zero pushing either of them into that field. It's just been let's see if it organically goes there, which it has. And so now it's kind of like, all right, I think they are really taking it seriously, so let's try and get them some lessons. And you know, I'm looking at a pink acoustic guitar currently.
Our eldest is very keen.
On is it birthday soon or is it coming up soon?
So I'm like, oh, maybe you know, it's okay, you're serious, let's get.
You a real guitar. Yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely navigating it in the way that letting them organically choose it. I mean my parents were very much like that, Casey's parents were very much like that. There was never a you know, show mum behind either of us going Okay, you know, it's been very organic, and I think that's the way to do it.
And you guys would be the same. Just that how proud you are of your kids. It's just that's the best feeling when you just sit back. Sometimes I'll just you know, I'll just hear Charlie or any in the bedroom playing something and I'll just sit and listen and just go, that's just so cool, you know, it's awesome.
Yeah, I mean, I think we both feel the same way. Me, I'm going to say me slightly more, only because because I have no musical talent. For me, it's just like this magical thing that's happened to our kids that just really blows my mind. That they can sing as well as they.
Do, and they all musical, all the kids they are. They are.
Yeah, that our son, he's the middle. He's got a beautiful voice. He doesn't use it. He's actually more he's creative on the food side. But our two daughters very musical, really beautiful voices.
I think Riv got dragged to enough of my gigs in La too. Know the amount of times I'd be playing there and then River would be front row and he'd be crawling on the floor. He'd be lying under the chairs, laying on his mum's lap asleep and he was like, Nah, I don't want to watch.
Career that you have.
You'd have some stories to share of your time in LA. I'm sure it's. Yeah, I've been lucky to spend a bit of time. And actually one of the when I wrote this song about Michelle, I wrote it in La with Funnily enough, another girl who was in the top twelve on Idol with me.
Her name is Hayley Warner, and she's gone on to.
Become a really prolific songwriter based in LA and she's written for some huge artists. Perry, Yeah, I really really love LA.
I think it's a great place.
But I've got probably more of a connection now with Nashville because of the country scene.
But yeah, LA is definitely one incredible place.
How often do you go there to the US and do you both go there or do you just go?
Do you?
Yeah?
I stay I've got a business back here and the girls obviously being in a really kind of important time with high school and everything, I stay home.
Okay.
Yeah, I've started to go a lot more frequently now, I guess over the last four or five years since signing with Chuggy and we were lucky enough to get my one.
Visa, which means I can go back and forwards and work.
And we've had, yeah, we've had a few little lucky breaks over the last couple of years. It's funny like certain festivals and stuff that we're on the vision board or the you know, one day I want to tick that off the bucket list. We finally have got to do a few, and in particular, there's a huge festival called Stagecoach.
Which.
It happens in California the week after Coachella, and I wanted to play it for a decade and it's just again one of those going way back to that bit of advice of play every show as though you never know who's in the crowd.
Right.
So twelve months before that, we were playing CMC Rocks, which is our biggest country music festival here, and I didn't know any of this was happening in the background, but we're playing our set on the main stage and Chugg he's off to the side, and someone, actually a lady came over and just said, who is this guy?
I really loved what they're doing.
And as it happens, she's the promoter of the booker for Stage Coach and Chuggy and said, well this is Casey and anyway, cut a long story short, we ended up getting our spot on stage.
Coach, congratulations. It was just so good.
Have you done it yet? Did you play the stage yet?
We did? We got to play main stage. Only was you to do that?
And it was just a dream come true. You know, it was incredible. I could talk to you for half an hour about all.
The worries about that.
But but that's where, you know, doors have started to open up, and I'm going back and forwards to Nashville a lot a lot more now too, and starting to make some inroads.
And you know that's the next that's the next big goal. You know. Talking about Keith, he's been great, Like I got to.
Meet him on his last tour and we got to go backstage and have a chat to him, and I couldn't believe he actually knew my name. And he came and gave me a hug, and you know, he said, congratulations that we just won an Aria, the first time I ever won an Aria, And he gave and gave me a haga and said congratulations and gave me some really awesome advice of you know, what to do, and so that's that's the goal, you know, that.
Is the big goal hopefully is to get over there and do more.
So with all that travel, how do you guys stay connected?
Yeah, it's a good it's a good point. We've just been so lucky in our relationship. Like honestly, I just I don't know how we do it.
Because yeah, I mean, look, we've definitely had periods where you know, we've had to sit down and have a chat.
You know, there's definitely been it's not been all roses.
But trust is probably the biggest I think when either of us are away from each other, you know, there's never ever a seed of doubt in either of our minds that he might be getting up to mischief or she might be or it's always this incredible feeling of trust and knowing that you know, that's not even ever going to come into the equation.
But I think maybe two, it is helpful that I lived not not to the degree of Casey, but I lived that life myself. And the perception of what you think, like the external world thinks happens on tour, and I'm sure it does. Like, don't get me wrong, there's plenty of artists that do live that kind of life. But if you could see his green room, it's comical. It's comical. It's like cups of tea and it is not rock
and roll in any way shape. So yeah, and look, I think, you know, as we talked about having that foundation of a relationship that was just so solid as a friendship, for someone to be able to come in and mess that up, I just wish them luck because it's you know, what we've been through together. Yeah, I don't know that anyone could ever really come and rock that in any ways.
It's a it's been a journey, you.
Know, We've been through a lot as a couple, and I think, yeah, just that solid foundation that we had, but we do try and our connection, our thing is every night that we are home together, we sit on the couch, just the two of us and we have a cup of green tea every night that we are home together and we talk.
Yeah. Nice, that's how we.
Keep It's pretty wild.
You are wild and crazy, you right, But.
I think the fact that you know, you do those sort of things, and I'm sure it's the same with you guys.
You've just got your own sense of humor as well.
And we get one another where you know, we're both we're both stupid, and we both like to have have fun and.
Send each other memes from one.
And the other not take life too seriously.
And I think the older we get, the more we start to get what life is all about.
And I don't think it's about taking it too seriously.
I think it's like taken every day as it comes and going with the flow. And I think that's that's a really important thing. And yeah, as I said, we're just super lucky that we've got that friendship that we've built everything on.
You know, it's really beautiful.
You do write songs, Casey from the heart and some of the experiences that you had in your life. For you, Michelle, how how do you feel when you hear Casey sing a song that reflects a piece of your shared journey.
Yeah, it's actually the biggest one for me, which was amazing, was when my dad passed away. He wrote a song about his own feeling on that, which I guess when you're going through that yourself, you don't really stop and kind of think about how they would be dealing with it. And I still remember, actually Chris Martin writing Fix You which was about Gwyneth when they were married at the time when her mother was her.
Mother passed away. I think I think her.
Dad her dad, Yeah, yeah, but him trying, wanting to fix her but not being able to, you know. And it is a really like grief is such a massive and poor Casey like he's had to go through that with me a lot.
I've lost a lot of immediate family.
And yeah, just for him to be able to pen that from his perspective and then for me to hear that song was just so amazing. And then you know, filming the music video down in my hometown, which is Yamber, which I think can ye, well.
His favorite place on the planet.
Let me tell you, we knew when the Dado Boys were in town.
Yeah, we did that every September every year.
It was a time for Yeah, all the girls in our area, we all knew when you guys are holiday.
And had no idea, absolutely no. I have heard that before. And Ali and I were there a little what was last year or so, and I was I swam from a convent beach across to the surf beach and did that did that swim, which to me was always a panic, Like you know, holy crap, because I definitely saw Noah's arcs out there when we were surfing.
Absolutely yeah.
But anyway, someone in that swimming group said the same thing, and I'm like, what what are you talking about?
You know, we were obviously very polite about it.
Clearly, it's still my still my most favorite place. Anyway, So where I digress, Yamby Yamby, Yamber.
Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah.
So we filmed the music video down there, and my dad was a deep sea fisherman, so yes, he saw plenty of those. But yeah, so we filmed it and it was all on a trawler and it was just it was the most amazing experience. It was just really special to me, and I guess through Casey writing that song and that whole experience was was just the most healing thing for me.
It was beautiful.
I'll try and give you the short version of this story too, but again, you know, without getting too out there, that song and how it came about was still to this day is probably one of the most trippy things
that has ever happened to me. And when Ted passed away, we had the service down in Yamber and one of his favorite songs of all time was desperado by the Eagles, So we organized for a friend who's an incredible pianist to come along, and he came along and sang that song at the service, and shortly after that, I was organized to go down to finish off the album that I was recording at the time, and we sort of talked about should I go, should I stay, and that
Michelle said no, you should go, And then I was in the studio with the boys and they said, how do you feel about writing a song, you know, about what you've just been through? And I just sort of said at the time, I don't know if fucking go there.
It's pretty raw. I didn't know at the time.
And we tried to work on something on the day and it just didn't happen. It wasn't flowing, it didn't feel natural, and it didn't feel right. So we left it and we parked it for the day and came back the next morning and we were both sitting around the studio with a cup of coffee having a chat, and Michael Painter, who I do a lot of writing with, had no idea of that backstory at all, and he sat down at the piano just to noodle and start
playing with some ideas. And the first song he started playing was Desperado and I just lost the plot, like I just lost it, and the boys like, what's going on, and I just said, you just don't You don't understand. That was Ted's favorite song and this song then just happened and it wrote itself, and it's a song called set Sail, and it's all about when it's your time to go. It's your time and you can't fight against
the current. It's a really deep song and it was nearly like Ted was getting a message through the song through me to get to Michelle and Michelle's mum Chris to go, It's okay, it's all right. You know, I'm still around. I'm going to keep an eye on you. It's it was my time to go. And it's just a really really deep song and.
I meant so much to a lot of people.
Exactly.
I don't play it at every show because it's it's a it's a tough song to play, but when I do, without fail, there's there will be someone that will come up at the end of the night and share a story of you know, I can remember what we were on touring in the States, and a guy came up to me at the end of the night and he said, I wasn't meant to come tonight, but I did.
My father just passed away, you.
Know, two weeks ago, and I was but I must have been meant to be here to hear that song, and you know, it's it's just yeah, it's sort of grown legs and it's just one of those songs.
Yeah, Casey's and we lost a baby as well, and Casey wrote a song about that as well, and.
I mean, it's it's a it's a great way I think for men.
You know, women were probably a lot better at being able to talk about our feelings and go through those experiences. I mean I went and sat in support groups when we lost our baby, you know.
But Casey, I mean music was his way.
Of being able to express his grief. I guess, so's it's nice for him to be able to do that.
I'm so sorry to hear that. That's that must have been heartbreaking.
Yeah, it just feels like such a lifetime ago.
There's been there's been so many different losses that you just you just go through it, don't you, with life like it just all of these different different losses and then, you know, Ali, you are just such a big part of my life in the last.
Few years because I went through early menopause.
Okay, so yeah, without you, I don't think I have got through that time. Honestly, I just felt like no one. I couldn't relate to anyone talking about it. Yeah, and then I saw you, who was someone that I idolized. You know at the time you know that I probably was was checking cam out in the amber.
I was just as big a fan of yours. And to hear.
This, you know, beautiful woman who had this successful partner and her own career kind of navigate that time just meant the world to me because I finally felt like I could identify with somebody going through it. So, you know, I felt like I kind of went through so many losses. I lost my brother he was thirty nine, We lost our baby, My dad died suddenly when he was on his way to our house.
You know, it just was like bang, bang bang.
And then hitting this perimenopause menopause time was just like are you joking? Yeah, and trying to you know, still be present as a mother and a partner and all of that staff was just so so hard and we got through it.
It's just but thankfully.
Yeah, having someone by my side who actually was willing to ride that way with me.
Was Yeah. I feel so lucky.
It sounds like Casey, you had your your music is your cathartic release.
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
It's it's weird blokes find it a little bit harder to get stuff out, but for some reason, you know, I can go to a whole different place when it comes to writing and performing. You know, There'll be times where I'll sing those songs and I'll just be off in another world. But it's it's because I'm connecting to the deeper meaning of the song and what that's probably doing for me. Yeah, definitely has helped a lot, that's
for sure. And that's one of the reasons that I've just love music in general so much, because the connection that you get, you know, through the songs and through through your music and a crowd, and that that energy that you can exchange through performing is just hard to beat.
You know, it's the best, the best thing.
I've only just learned an interesting thing about because I sang for a living and I sang every day, and I only just learned how unbelievably beneficial singing is for your nervous system.
Yes, and your vagus nerve and all of that.
I had no idea that it's I mean, I guess it makes sense because meditation, you.
Know, is the hum and all of that.
That humming and that sound and the vibration is actually a reset of your nervous system. So it's no wonder people find music and singing so cathartic and like a really amazing therapy.
I guess it is.
Yeah, I mean, and I always say, you know, I've never been a church goer, but my church is live music. That's when I am most connected to people around me. There's a spirit that just rises in my body that I'm like in tears listening to music that I love. It's just there's nothing like that experience of that.
Agreed thank God that AI can't take that away, cannot It's a scary time, but you know, you cannot, you cannot replicate that feeling.
I don't think if it's it'll be tough to be.
Yeah, for Alliot's Mumford and Sons, Lumine Ears and we're coming to see Casey Barnes. When down to get up on the seats, mate, take Cam up for a song. Yeah, I'll do that. Hey a question then, I mean you've mentioned challenging times, and I reiterate what Al said. I'm so sorry that you did lose a child and we all we all go through our version of different challenges. What advice do you have any advice for couples or people that are having their challenges right now?
Hm?
Oh gosh. I think it's just talk to each other, you know. I think that's the biggest mistake. Everyone makes. You go through your own personal hell, but you don't talk to each other, and I think that's that's the biggest thing. I mean, some people do find it difficult, but I think that communication is just everything because you really don't know.
What each other are really feeling. Deeply, I think it's just.
So and everyone's on different trajectories and timelines of when they're getting through stuff like That's one of the things that you do learn is that you know when it comes to grief, especially when you lose a family member.
For Michelle, that doesn't go away.
It's not like you just click your fingers and go, well, hang on, shake that off.
Now, let's get back into life. It's always going to be there.
So I guess you just need to roll with the punches and have you know, as much compassion as you can. And you know, also, nobody's perfect. And I can look back on different times, you know, like when Michelle lost her brother, which was the first big loss we had, there were times in that where.
I wished I could have handled it a little bit better.
Well, you'd never experienced loss before. So that's the thing.
It's very difficult to know how to help somebody if you've never experienced it, and until you have, you really don't know the enormity of what that.
Person is going through. So you can't beat yourself up over that because you didn't know. You didn't really know. And it wasn't until probably my dad passed away.
Because Casey had a very close relationship with my dad and we lost a baby, he was equally.
And where he really felt that enormity of loss.
And you know, man, we get so deep into this. Yeah, it's it's really interesting. Like I'm in a unique situation too. I grew up with a parent who I'm very very close to, my mum, but she suffers from mental illness and so she's had bipolar since I was a baby, and there's been a lot that's a massive can of worms open there, And there's been a lot of stuff that I've gone through growing up where I've had to learn coping mechanisms of how to deal with that, and
times where my mum's just gone. It's not the person that I know, and I've had to build up this. I don't like a lot of that, feeling like I've built up this barrier of numbness sometimes to its horrible stuff that's happened because that's my only way growing up I can cope with it, and I don't like that. I wish there was a way to magically fix that. But sometimes when you do go through, you know, stuff that happens in life that will come back, that habit will come back because that's.
Sort of what you've been used to.
But you know, that's everyone's got their own their own story, and I think the more compassionate we are for each other in general, it's everyone's got stuff going on, that's for sure.
That's exactly right.
Yeah, there's a phrase that I've heard where what what you did to survive your childhood can sometimes destroy you as an adult, so it's you know, you had to do that to survive, you know, your childhood. And you know, I understand that from my perspective. You know, you compartmentalize things so you can keep moving ahead. As a kid, you don't know you're doing it, but come to an adult and I'm like, WHOA, why am I having this
experience and being so triggered by that. It's like, ah, well, now I know where that came from, you know.
So yeah, And.
It's funny with my mum.
You know, I was only literally only talking to her on the phone yesterday, and and you know, even though we've gone through some horrific stuff over the journey and it's been tough, but I could not love my mum anymore. And we've got a super super close relationship. And even with her own challenges with her mental health, she's she is one of the wisest, most.
She's just tapped in.
She gets so many things, and she's she's always teaches me a lot of stuff about, you know, letting go and not not trying to control things as much as we all try and do in life, and just letting things flow. And she's taught me a lot. You know, which I'm grateful for. So it's it's interesting.
Yeah, guys, thank you so much for coming in and speaking with us. And yes, our podcast is the heart of it and you've you've given us a lot of heart and so thank you so much. We would ask one thing before we go. We do. We have a rapid fire heartbeat and put the pulse on you. So we've got a couple of questions. Just keep your answers short. How about that.
Yeah, we're going to ask you both the same ask.
You both answer the same question. You go first, right, What.
Brings you joy?
Music? Family?
Exactly the same?
Okay, one time you'd like to revisit.
I would.
I would like to redo when your brother passed away, if i'd love to redo that.
The immediate thing that came to my mind was the moment I saw both of our babies faces for the first time. Yes, that will never ever, I don't know anything can ever top it.
Yep.
That what do you miss when you're not together?
Green tea on the couch?
Thank us?
The little things, just our sense of humor and banter.
Yeah, one word to describe each other.
Powerful, everything, so gorgeous.
I love that, Love that question and what the responses but we've had it's so amazing, but.
It was not rapid. It was like, really, we had to think about that.
Really.
Yeah, yeah, thank you both so much. We actually had so many more questions for you. We could have spoken to you for another hour. You've you've really been open and vulnerable with us. So thank you so much for your wisdom and for your love and just sharing who the both of you are with us.
Thank you, thank you so much for having us.
Yeah, and I just wanted to say also add something, Michelle, thank you for reminding me of Yamber, because it does. It is a joyous place for me. And one of the memories I guess this would be tied up with your dad. One of the great most peaceful memory. He's the best things for me to do in Yamber it is to sit on the cliff on Ocean Street and watch the trawlers come in at sunrise.
Probably one of them was Michelle's.
Daddy, maybe you know, watching all those trawlers line up and in they come, and and same when they go out through the through the through the wall at the end the late afternoon. It sure is. It's unique.
It's just great.
So thank you.
Thank you so much. Guy, thank you