Happy Valentime's Day
I totally didn't get these flowers from the gas station

I totally didn't get these flowers from the gas station
Dude its like going to the movies, but like, you can stay at home
Go on and stand behind me Satan
If you can sleep in one position all night you are a psycho
Something about being in the kitchen making pies or whatever
Depending on who you talk to, there is a chance I wouldn't be considered a real man
No, go ahead perfect stranger, please continue to touch my head and face
I got you on beer and pizza for the help
Drip
Well, technically speaking, the best way to watch it is...
I wish I spoke more than just English.
I hit a milestone and I don't know how I feel about it.
If you make things go the way I want them to I promise I'll go to church again.
We all wanted to have that cool scar across our eye at some point.
Hunting on em (get it)
I wonder how many people are hung over today
Did anyone ever figure out if sharpies really ruin cds?
Ho ho ho y'all
Enlisting sounds fucking exhausting.
I don't get visual art, like at all.
Brains, its what's for dinner
I'm no rat, I'm a shark!
Gather 'round the fire y'all
Retirement is a relic
I'm doing the breast I can!
How do you fell about your name?
"(Cough Cough) Can't come in today boss"
Gobble gobble
I really only listen to...
Ghosts are super real