The Happy Highly Sensitive Life Podcast
Exhaustion, Hustle & Burnout: What Human Design Can Teach HSPs About Fatigue
Podcast Transcript
Episode 12
As HSPs, we push ourselves hard.
To show up for other people even if we’re worn out.To be good partners, parents, employees, daughters and sons.To get things done even when we really need to restTo get out of our comfort zones to try new things.We’re super conscientious, wanting to give our best to everyone and everything. To not let people down, even if it means sacrificing ourselves.
Anxiety, stress, burnout, overwhelm and feeling dread on Sundays about starting a new week are all signs something needs to give.
The messages about needing to hustle to “live the good life” have us all mixed up.
But Human Design shows us how to get back on track and how physical energy is activated. We each have our own unique configuration for generating energy.
In this episode, you will learn…
What the 4 Human Design motor centers show us about physical energy and energy management What’s really occurring if you’re constantly feeling pressured by your to-do list and why you never feel like you get it all doneThe surprising thing Human Design shows us about willpower How living in alignment is key to tapping into energy How, if you have open motor centers, your perceptions of your energy and what you can accomplish may depend on who you’re aroundHow to sustainably incorporate exercise and sleep into your lifeWe receive so much conditioning and so many messages about how we should live hard and play hard. We see how people around us race through life, rushing from one thing to the next, surviving on caffeine and skimping on sleep and we think that’s how we should manage our energy too.
My hope is that this information will give you a new understanding of yourself and your energy. And give you permission to create a life that gives you the space and time to rest and restore in the right way for you.
Let’s dive in.
In the last few episodes, I introduced you to the Human Design Body Graph. To get the most out of this episode, you’ll want to listen to Episode 10, an Introduction to Human Design for HSPs and Episode 11, on Empath Overload, and what Human Design shows you about being and empath and how to cope. In Episode 10, you learn how to print out your free Human Design chart and about 3 crucial aspects of your Human Design, your Type, Strategy and Authority.
These 3 things show you your unique energy configuration, and how you’re meant to tap into your body’s wisdom to make aligned decisions.
When you look at your Human Design chart, you see 9 geometric shapes overlaid over the human body. These shapes are called Centers and they work like the chakras and have energetic themes.
When a Center is colored or defined, also called closed, you have consistent access to that energy theme.
White Centers are called open centers and through them we take in and amplify the energy of people we’re with, In these Centers you have variable access to energy that ebbs and flows.
Now, of the 9 Centers in the body, 4 are motor centers.
THE SACRAL CENTER
The first motor is The Sacral Center, which is the second square up from the bottom (located above the Root). It is the most powerful motor and energy center in the body. And it’s responsible for generating energy for work and life force energy. Life force energy is the energy for reproduction, sexuality and raising a family.
When this powerful motor is Defined (colored in), as is the case for Generators and Manifesting Generators (70% of the population) it gets turned on when you experience good feelings in response to signs and synchronicities that show up in your environment. To feel the full potential of your energy and have sustained energy, it's important to engage in activities that are aligned and that light you up. Saying yes in response to what lights you up, you have an ample supply of energy for those things. Doing activities you’re passionate about turns on your Sacral motor energy and doing the right work can actually extend your life.
You can push through and use your energy to do things that aren’t aligned but the intensity of the energy isn’t the same and you will feel like there’s something big and meaningful missing from your life. Over time, forcing yourself forward doing the wrong things can burn you out.
You have so much energy, you’ll feel compelled to try to make things happen. If you try to create out of your head, doing what you "should do" without responding to signs, your Sacral motor stays off and your energy for the commitment will fade over time.
You turn on your powerful Sacral motor and generate Sacral energy only in response to opportunities, signs and synchronicities that show up in your environment and that feel good to you. As we talked about in episode 10, The Strategy for Generators and Manifesting Generators is called Waiting to Respond. And as Generators and Manifesting Generators, these opportunities come along very quickly. If you get an idea for something, say you get the idea to buy a new car. Then a few days later, you take it in for inspection and learn it needs a ton of work. That’s a sign. Later on you’re talking to your best friend and she just got a new car and is raving about her experience buying a car. That’s another sign.
When you live in alignment, responding to signs that feel good, and following your Strategy and Authority, you have a powerful source of energy and are designed to be on the go from sun up to sun down.
With an open Sacral, when this center is white, which is the case for Projector, Manifestor and Reflector energy Types, your energy for work, reproduction, sexuality and raising a family ebbs and flows and you’re meant to include cycles of rest in your days. You are designed to live and work smarter, not harder.
This may be a tricky thing to wrap your mind around because you will feel like you can go and do more than anyone else. But this is amplified or exaggerated energy that you're experiencing through other people and your Open Center.
My mom is a Projector and she’s given me permission to share her experience. When I was growing up she prided herself on being able to do the work of two people. She pushed herself hard and she used sugar and soda to power through. Around the age of 50 she hit a wall and started having physical symptoms that forced her to change the way she was living. She started to have unexplained hives and rashes that forced her to stop and tend to her body. These kinds of signs are there to nudge you to give yourself the rest and relief you need.
For Projector, Manifestor and Reflector Types, since you have an open Sacral Center, it’s important that you enter into a work situation correctly following your Type’s Strategy and your personal Authority. When you enter into a work situation in an aligned way, you will have more sustainable energy.
For Projectors, that means waiting to be acknowledged and invited into a work situation.
For Manifestors, that means following your non-verbal internal creative flow.
And for Reflectors, that means taking your time to be sure an opportunity is aligned before committing.
If you push forward on the wrong things, you’re at risk for burning out.
For Projectors who are in misaligned opportunities, you may begin to experience burnout in late 30s or early 40s. For Manifestors, it’s slightly later, around 50.
If you’re non-Sacral, 70% of the world is a Sacral type and it’s very likely that you were raised by a Sacral type, a Generator or Manifesting Generator, and that you watched how your parents were constantly on the go. And felt the pressure from being in that environment to go go go.
You may have lived wondering what’s wrong with you that you don’t seem to experience energy in the same way as other people. People express such relief when they discover this information. It’s the missing piece of the puzzle for their own self-understanding and for being able to be self-compassionate and to adjust your life to give yourself time and space to heal and rest.
My father was also a Projector. He was a dentist. He wanted to be an artist but his parents were afraid he couldn’t support himself at it and so at their request, he became a dentist. When he got home from seeing patients every day, he was incredibly depleted and he just intuitively knew he needed to have quiet alone time away from his 3 kids with Defined Sacral Centers. He spent a lot of his time after work, alone in his basement office recharging and recovering.
I have 2 sisters and all 3 of us have Defined Sacral Centers and we were like playful puppies. We were loud and active. We spent a lot of time outdoors as kids, swimming, climbing trees and digging in the dirt, and that helped us deplete that Sacral energy and gave my Projector parents a chance to have a solid break from the Sacral energy.
My Projector mom also had a rule to try to make life less busy. Only 1 of us was allowed to participate in a sport a season. She intuitively knew that being a working mom and driving 3 kids to and from a million after school activities and sports games wasn’t doable. So she set that boundary for herself.
On Sundays, in our house growing up, everyone stayed home and rested up for the week ahead.
As a non-sacral type, you have a sacred mission. With your open Centers, you can see the potential for what’s possible and hold that wisdom. You are here to guide and lead the sacrally defined Generators and Manifesting Generator types to do the work of building and creating your vision into physical form. The sacral types have the role of building the infrastructure of our society, and doing the work of the world and are meant to have the energy to do that from sun up to sun down.
If you are a Projector, Manifestor or Reflector and have an undefined Sacral Center, to have the energy for work, it’s crucial to be in the right and aligned work and follow your Strategy and Authority.
A Key Question for you to ask as you’re going about your days is how do I know when enough is enough?
THE WILL CENTER
Let’s look at another motor in the body, the Will Center, also called the Ego Center. The Will Center is the small triangle located to the lower right of the diamond in the middle of the chart. The Will is the Center of willpower.
It has the language of “I want” and is all about following your heart.
When Defined (colored in), it cycles through periods of action and rest. When you’re doing something and your heart is in it, with periods of rest, you’ve got the energy and commitment to continue with it day after day. You can only power through for so long and then you need to rest.
The energy generated by this motor fluctuates, giving you bursts for short periods of time. Resting recuperates your energy. Make sure you work and rest since pushing too hard can lead to burnout from overdoing it.
You can try to use your willpower for things you don’t want, but it won’t be sustainable month after month and you’ll burn yourself out. Commit to only things that are aligned and you’ll be able to maintain energy for them over time.
What’s surprising is that only a small number of people, 1 out of 8, have a Defined Will.
With a Defined Will, when people with an Open or Undefined Will connect with you, they will feel empowered to make changes and will feel they can follow through and commit themselves to things.
The majority of people have an Open Will Center. With an Open Will Center, you have variable access to willpower. When you're around people with a Closed Will Center, you may amplify their energy. If you grew up around people with Defined Will Centers and then moved out and your activation energy became variable, this may be why. The energy you take in through your open will center is borrowed energy and over time, it will wear you down to keep up the pace of someone with a Defined Will Center.
With an Open Will Center, You may also find that you question or underestimate your value, your time, or your services, and you may make overly generous offers without anyone asking you to. You may find yourself saying yes to things in an effort to prove yourself.
Burnout can come from trying to prove your value by taking on more and more. It’s essential for you to only take things using your Strategy and Authority. This will ensure you have the energy to see tasks through to completion and will support developing a positive self-concept.
The Will Center also calls us all to set boundaries around what we give our energy, time and money to so we live in a way that’s sustainable.
When you have an Open will Center a key Question for you to check in on is, “Am I trying to prove myself and my worth?”
The Will Center asks us to become wise about what's truly worth investing time, energy and money in.
Both the Defined and Undefined Will Center are at risk for burning out. With an Undefined Will Center you can overdo it from borrowing forward momentum from people with defined will Centers. And with a Defined Will Center you can overdo and burnout from pushing hard forward on unaligned things.
What the Will Center teaches us is to learn about taking action sustainably and to take on only aligned activities and build rest into your life.
THE ROOT CENTER
A third motor in the body is called the Root Center. The Root is the square at the bottom center of the chart. The Root is both a motor and pressure Center and houses the adrenaline associated with taking action. When Defined (colored in), it operates in on and off pulses. It creates pressure to get things done and to take action. This center is the center that’s associated with timing of action. There is a rush of energy that supports productivity and when it is absent, it’s time to rest. Whatever you want to accomplish will happen with ease when the adrenaline pressure is on. When it’s off, things take ten times longer. If you have a Defined Root, Experiment with what it feels like to take action when your Root energy is activated, and to work in alignment with the pulse of adrenaline pressure. Notice how your to-do list gets accomplished with greater ease.
Unfortunately, our society says you must work a set schedule and show up whether or not your Root Center is on (that’s why caffeine makes the world go round). We’re built to take action when the Root Center is on and that makes getting things done feel easy.
Question: Is it time to act and get things done or time to rest?
With an Open Root Center you constantly absorb the pressure from other people’s defined Root to get things done.
You feel very tied to your to-do list and pressured to get through your list. You may have trouble relaxing with the feeling of unfinished tasks consuming you. You feel like the work is never done and that you have to race through what you have to do to get free of the pressure. Because you’re so efficient, more and more work may wind up in your lap.
With an Open Root, if you're around someone with a Defined Root, you will feel pressured by their Defined Root energy. You will feel that others are waiting on you to complete tasks. If you’re in a relationship with someone with a defined root, you can experience statements and observations as pressure, when your partner isn’t meaning it to be that.
Check-in and ask them when they need something done, rather than assuming the answer is "immediately". You also may feel that the expectations coming from others are impossibly high. With an open root, you always feel this pressure.
With present moment awareness, you can realize that the pressure is energetic and ask questions of the other person to clarify their expectations and set realistic goals for yourself. Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that will happen if this doesn’t get done. Triage and do what’s urgent and important and let go of what’s not urgent and important.
A question for your open Root Center is: Am I in a hurry to get everything done so I can be free of the pressure?
THE SOLAR PLEXUS
The fourth and final motor in the body is called the Emotional Solar Plexus. The Solar Plexus is the large triangle on the right side of the Body Graph that’s associated with emotions, spirituality and creativity.
When Defined (colored in), it’s associated with emotional energy that fluctuates in up and down waves. Imagine if you will, a sine wave. When you’re in a lower frequency wave, you’re more internally focused and contemplative. This is the time to be by yourself and reflect and recharge. When you’re in a higher frequency wave, you’re ready to connect with the world and to be outwardly focused and expressive.
If you’re feeling unhappy, it’s a sign you’re out of alignment or need time by yourself.
The message of this Center is to honor your emotional waves, leaning inward in a low wave and waiting for a high wave to be expressive. Also, decisions are best made when you take your time making them and only commit when you see that a “yes”, stays a “yes” throughout the ups and downs of your wave. We access sustained energy when we commit to things that are an unwavering yes from the get go.
With an Open Emotional Solar Plexus, as I talk about in Episode 11, you are an emotional empath. And are here to learn about emotional energy and to become wise about feelings. You take in and experience the inwardly directed lower frequency wave and the externally focused higher frequency wave of people around you. It is easy to think that the emotions you are experiencing are your own. But in reality, you don’t have your own emotional wave.
I talk extensively about being an empath in Episode 11, If you haven’t listened yet, I share some foundational information about the Solar Plexus in that episode.
Knowing how this Center works, you can use present moment awareness to notice emotional energy and to allow other's energy to flow over you without thinking it's your own energy or taking responsibility for others feelings.
Question: Do I need to rest and have time alone and a break from taking in other people’s emotional energy?
EXERCISE & SLEEP
So how do you sustainably incorporate exercise and sleep in your life?
If you have a Defined Sacral, your self-care may take the form of more high intensity exercise to wear yourself out every day so you fall into bed exhausted each night. If you’ve had a day of sitting, balance that out with movement. If you have trouble focusing during the day, try upping your physical activity to improve your sleep quality. Better sleep quality improves your concentration.
With an Undefined Sacral, it’s easy for you to overdo it with exercise and deplete your more limited energy stores, only discovering that you overdid it in hindsight. If you feel you have some energy to release, you may benefit from trying lower intensity gentle exercise like yoga or Tai Chi, but only if it appeals to you. And then experiment and notice the right frequency and intensity for you..
With an Undefined Sacral, Human Design also has an unexpected recommendation if you live with someone with a Defined Sacral. Since you absorb sacral energy from people around you, it’s recommended that you sleep alone, if not all the time, at least periodically. During sleep and when you’re laying flat, you release the Sacral energy you absorbed through your Open Sacral during the day. Your sleep will be more deeply restorative if you sleep alone than if you sleep next to someone with a defined sacral.
What Human Design shows us is that we have energy for taking action over the long haul when we follow our Strategy and Authority, and listen to our heart to lend our energy and time to things that are really sustainable, saying no to what’s not to preserve our energetic resources. And that ideally we should take action when it feels easy, and add in cycles of rest to be productive.
With this information that Human Design provides, you can do what’s right for you to preserve your energy and individualize your self-care.
Now If during the pandemic, you started feel drawn to look for a new job, perhaps one that allows for less hustle and energy output during the day, or one that has you involved in more meaningful activities that makes the energy output worth it, I’ve create a resource for you called The Aligned Job Short Course.
If you are ready for job search advice catered to Highly Sensitive People, and you want to find a job that works for you as an HSP, this is a self-paced video course to help you begin to get unstuck from second guessing and analysis paralysis, to feel more assured in your job search and start taking action.
Sam B calls this class, “absolutely life altering”. If your intuition is nudging you to learn more about it, visit the link. I’ll also share links to the podcast episodes referenced in this show in the show notes.
If you have a question for me about something you heard on this podcast or want to suggest a topic for a future episode, email me at [email protected].
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Bye now.