Do you sometimes find yourself in a coping mode , just trying to survive and get by ? I get to tell you how you can switch gears and break free from survival mode on this episode of the Happiness Coach . I'm Judy O'Neill . I'm a Harvard grad , a social worker and a coach . I'm here to help you improve your relationships and bounce back from depression .
I've learned a lot of this the hard way , and I love making the journey easier for others . When you're having a rough time with depression or anxiety , you might have more power and choices than you feel like you do . When we're in bad shape , we can easily find ourselves in a coping survival mode , just trying to get by .
People who haven't struggled with depression or anxiety might not understand just how rough and draining it can be . Part of this coping mode can be reaching for things to numb some of the pain . Perhaps you find yourself using more alcohol or weed , staying in bed too long , staying up late , binge-watching or gaming or eating too much .
It's totally understandable that we want relief from pain and stress , but being in coping mode can actually make depression worse . Numbing behaviors hold us back or distract us from taking steps that could actually improve our situation .
Coping survival mode can be seductive the cravings for more food or shopping , gambling or whatever promise , hope that the activity will actually make your life easier . It can , but only really briefly , until it backfires on us with a hangover or weight gain , not having slept enough or regretting having spent way too much money .
Having slept enough or regretting having spent way too much money . When we're in coping mode , we likely aren't taking constructive steps to feel better physically or invest in our connections with others . We probably aren't doing things that make memories or trying something new or accomplishing a task that will reduce stress or later be good for our self-esteem .
We might not be setting and following rhythms and routines in our days and weeks , and lack of routine is stressful for our brains , whether you're young or adult . Here's a visual Coping mode is like a leaf being stuck , floating in a circling eddy on the side of a stream . I'm glad to say you do have another option . The alternative is going into recovery mode .
You can take very small steps forward that can actually free you from the circling eddy and let you start progressing downstream . Douglas Block , a depression counselor in Oregon , has a YouTube channel that's called Douglas D-O-U-G-L-A-S and then Block is spelled B-L-O-C-H . He suggests this is spelled B-L-O-C-H .
He suggests this make the decision that you want to get well , even if you don't know how . Setting the intention to heal is the starting point of all recovery . To help you stay on track in recovery mode , I'd like you to take care of the needs of two people . The first person is your current self and the second is your future self .
Maybe , in this constructive recovery mode , you choose to reach for a protein snack rather than a candy bar . Not in order to be good I'm so sick of trying to quote be good .
Perhaps you set down the candy bar , though , with the motivation to simply maximize your hours of feeling good and minimize the hours of feeling bad , because you know from experience that protein makes you feel better for longer than sugar does . So this one choice to protect how you'll feel after the snack sounds small , but it's a powerful shift .
The craving part of us it can be narcissistic , focused only on how to get by and avoid feeling so depressed right now . It doesn't give much of a crap about your future self's well-being , but your present moment self is not the only person whose needs , wants and comfort matter .
What if you experiment with making choices that both feel good now and will also feel good later . These steps can propel you forward toward recovery and actually feeling better . When we feel really bad , it is so understandable to collapse into coping mode , feeling hopeless or helpless and angry .
But the truth is and I speak from personal experience no matter how awful you feel , there is always some super small , constructive step you can take that's kind , Kind to current you and also to future you .
If you're really overwhelmed or have low energy , this step might be simply sending someone a text , or shutting down the video game and turning on a movie you've been wanting to watch , or drinking a bunch of much-needed water , or it could be going for a walk in the sunshine or taking a shower , or accomplishing something on your to-do list , or leaving a message
for a medical professional or counselor to get help to break out of depression or anxiety . So even if you don't have hope right now , the very act of being constructive , rather than collapsing into coping and just getting through the day , can truly start to unwind the momentum of depression . Was this episode of the Happiness Coach helpful ?
Please share it on social media or with someone you know is having a rough time . To learn more about my private coaching practice . Visit my website helpingyougetunstuckcom . I see clients remotely and in Boulder , Colorado . I'm sending you my care and support . You can do this .