Feeling All the Things With Cordelia Blake

She's an American who lives in Portugal with her family and she just has a very unique perspective on all things life and spirit , and thoughts and emotions . Thoughts and emotions .

And as we were connecting and talking , um , just to hang out , I was guided to just for us to hit record and make it a podcast episode , because this was a conversation that we truly wanted to share with other , uh people who might be feeling some of the difficulty we were experiencing in our conversation and just sort of living in a way that is guided ,

spiritually guided , yet grounded , you know , because we are living in a way where it is increasingly necessary to be very grounded and to actually embody and live these energetic things that we love to talk about . So here is our conversation . I hope you enjoy and I hope you'll let me know if what we talk about resonates with you .

I would love to hear from you . So , cordelia , you and I were just having our monthly conversation that we love to have , since you're all the way in Portugal , and we were just musing about what we're feeling , which is I was saying I'm feeling all kinds of things in my body .

You were saying you woke up feeling all kinds of heavy emotions , and I was realizing that I've heard this from several women this week , and so it's definitely something coming through the feminine collective , and I love that whenever we explore this together , because it really does show that these energies , they don't care about geography .

We know that but they don't .

So it's , it's a fascinating concept and it is a feeling , I think , and that that's .

It's like when you think about somebody or even a time from the past that isn't here , and like , sometimes , when I think about my son , when he was a little baby , right , and I held him in my arms , and now he's a teenager , I don't like wish that he like died when he was a baby or something like that .

Right , but I have this like longing for that feeling of like holding a baby and holding him when he was little . It's , it's this , but it's a happy like . There's like a whole lot of emotions tied up in this . This one feeling and this word in Portuguese is called saudade .

That might be that we , as feminine , it's always been our job to kind of lift everyone up to , to to make life continue , and I was saying it feels like the Titanic movie right now , where it's like we have to let go of Jack and our heart .

Our heart will go on and and Jack is sort of all those hopes and the direction we thought we were going to go in and we hope and even as a nation , even as a a world , because you were saying over in Portuguese you're feeling these bittersweet feelings about the US and what we're going through and just being you're , you know , having to let go in that way

yeah , and you know I've I've met immigrants and refugees from other countries who've been through , I mean , much worse than what is happening .

You know , even having a routine medical procedure can be crippling and it's a , it's like a yoke , you know . And especially when you have kids and you're like I mean , do I go to the doctor ? And I like I don't want to find out what's wrong , and you don't . I mean , obviously nobody wants to be sick , Right In any country .

You know , I don't , I don't understand the American and I didn't understand it when I lived in America this resistance to A bigger medical plan than whatever stupid thing we have in America now .

Like I've gone up till age 52 not really seeing why I should have to pay that much attention to what's going on with my body . It should be sort of self-sustaining if , as long as I'm not abusing it , what's the problem ?

And now I'm like , oh wow , not only do I need to start changing that , but I need to now repair decades of messaging that I've given my body that say I'm not going to listen to you . Because I'm realizing , oh wow , no wonder my body will shut me down at what seems like the drop of a hat .

You know , objectively , it's like it takes any little imbalance for my body to be like we're done , you know , and that's because for decades I was flat out ignoring its cries for help .

Through the type A work I was doing in journalism and through my own anxiety , I was just like body , you're wrong , here's some medicine , let's get on with it and my body's like , hey , we're going to need to spend some time and by time I mean the rest of your life balancing that out and I'm like , ok , whatever you say , balancing that out and I'm like ,

okay , whatever you say , you know we all have , I believe we co-create our reality .

But one of the things I'm starting to realize is that even as a if you , as a singular being right , Like we're not really singular beings , not not even talking about the collective , you know , spirit or soul or any , but like the body has its own , almost like its own karma for lack of a better word right , Like cause , there's a genetic component and there's ,

you know , environmental . And so I do think that sometimes we don't listen to our body .

But I also think that , as women , sometimes we take too much responsibility and blame for the fact that the body does just break down , sometimes because of stuff way outside of your control , and maybe it wasn't that you did the wrong thing for 20 years and now it's great , but maybe it's just like your body sometimes has problems and there is like a shame .

And then with the masculine , it's kind of like , oh well , it was the world , he worked too hard or you know , he did this in sports or whatever , and it's like always the world coming at him rather than like it being sort of an internal thing . Yeah , we're very internal as feminine , like I should .

But what actually happened was that the video didn't work and they were observing the different way that men and women responded to the video not working . Oh wow . And the women came out and they said I'm really sorry , I must be doing something wrong . Maybe I don't know how it works Right ?

The men came out and they said your video's broken , it's your thing , it's broken and so . But we do internalize . Yes , it's just part of I think we should have prepared , we should have you know , and we say that like , well , I maybe I'm not , but we do it . It we almost like victim blame ourselves , sometimes absolutely no , it's like why , if I had ?

Yeah , I feel like the masculine is way more like I don't know , yeah , way more externally focused in like something , something external must have happened and then , you have to kind of go a long way to get to like , oh , it's just that guy's fault .

Like masculine we've seen , we're seeing like , okay , you can take that to its most , uh , inflated extreme , exactly , and see where that goes . It's going to hit a wall . And with the feminine , same you can , it's just going to hit a wall inside . You're going to implode . The other one's going to explode .

And from this , what I'm seeing every time you know it's happened with spirit is , yeah , that's exactly what needs to happen . It's kind of the sperm meeting the egg for a new way of life to happen . That sort of you know both ways don't work anymore . That sort of you know both ways don't work anymore .

It is like creating something completely new from the what might seem like chaos but seem like you know nothing Most new things come from chaos .

You know the sperm and the egg don't exist anymore , right , right , you know the sperm and the egg don't exist anymore , right , right , and so it's just .

And you just that was what I was seeing , something with the sperm and egg , and you just said it that each one doesn't exist anymore . You've created something new and , yeah , that's where we're going . Is this this masculine point of view , this feminine point of view ? They are literally imploding and exploding .

They won't exist and we will have this more balanced , where we're all of us , each of us both , and expressing that in a new way that's actually sustainable on the planet , as opposed to these two extremes . And right now we're all feeling that , either in our emotions , in our bodies , in our thoughts , wherever we're experiencing , experiencing it .

And that seems to be where the the chaos is . It's not . It's not like we're looking out of our door . Thank god , seeing chaos , right we're feeling it , yes and that's why people are saying like you know , I'm feeling this and I don't know why . It's because we're not seeing physically why we should feel this inner chaos .

But it's all those other things energetic , emotional , mental yeah .

And I feel like there's been a lot of just like , oh well , we can't control it . And at the leadership level , I feel like nobody's taking responsibility on , you know , in the left side , the right , you know , and the right side , there , whatever , but nobody's like we should have done this differently , or if we had done better , or whatever .

Nobody's like taking responsibility for the fact that what we have now is able to even happen .

And then whatever we each sort of bring , like you know , for me it's like hey , I bring this thing of like , hey , let's , let's plan going and let's do this and let's look at things in an optimistic way and like why aren't we doing that ? And so for me it's more of a sense of disillusionment , of like , wow , I thought .

I thought it's sort of like you know , looking at you know , when Anne Frank said , you know , I see the good in all humans and I always have felt that , and it's a sense of like , hey , I know that good is in there , why aren't you finding it ? Why aren't you digging it out ?

You know , and for every person it's going to be different , based on their own soul path and what they personally bring and would like to see the world bring . And we've also seen that in our relationships . You know where it's like I brought this best part of me to this relationship and they didn't bring that .

And you know , and we're learning that we cannot we literally cannot go around the world expecting for others to bring exactly what we bring . We can only bring what we bring and release , and it's hard .

It's like there's that moment when you have heartbreak and we've all had somebody that we loved and thought was the right person for us , whether it was a friendship or a romantic relationship right , and that it didn't work out , and then like , say , fast forward into the future 10 years . You're so grateful that it never worked out . You see why ?

Yeah , even though in the moment you were heartbroken , but we don't know where we are in that , like in the bigger on the planet , we don't know . Sometimes it's a lot longer than amount of time to restore . It's like it's some people never recover from smoking , even if they didn't smoke , for , I mean , they still have damage .

Sekhmet is the goddess , but she's surrounded by a lion , lion and a lioness , and it's like this rage is probably going to be the thing . This , this feminine , um rage , because we do have to go in this feminine direction as a planet . Having gone all the way in the masculine , we have to go into feminine .

And , yeah , the feminine is going to come out and be like all right , I feel , you know , rageful . I feel like we're worth more than this , and it does feel like and when I say feminine , that's going to be in each man as well , because you're feminine as a man , lives in your heart and in your spirit .

Connection as a woman , masculine , yeah , your masculine lives in your body and your mind . So we're all all of it .

But this feminine of our heart and spirit is rageful right now , and rightly so , in in all respects , because that is the appropriate response to being disillusioned or feeling betrayed , or feeling like whatever has worked up to this point isn't going to work . That is what else would you feel .

But the thing that changed everything was nonviolent , peaceful demonstrations . But somehow you can , you can be nonviolent and peaceful and still rage and still fight for justice . What's missing in this now is that it's like people are like , well , we have to fight for justice . It's like a fight Like let me get my dukes up , you know .

And then other people are like , well , I have to be passive and just let things happen . And it's like , no , there's a third way , where you rage but you're also nonviolent .

Activists did in the 60s and the 50s and the 40s and the 30s and the 20s and the 1800s , right , they didn't just do it like 1968 and then the civil rights , you know , and so it's righteous , righteous anger , and but it doesn't necessarily mean violence , but it doesn't mean the emotions you have are somehow not appropriate . Well , it's the queen of raging is .

Well , it's the queen of swords , the raging is appropriate .

You know men and women , but as you're talking , I also got this thing from a spirit and it was so beautiful . You know you were saying your child's a teenager , now Mine is younger and they are in .

The younger ones , like I would say , you know , 13 and under , are in kind of this , this bubble of sorts where you know they have awareness of a new way to live . they were born with it and you can see them playing it out with themselves . They have a new way to live . They were born with it and you can see them playing it out with themselves .

They have a new way of connecting . They have a new way and they're aware they seem to be that they are leading the way . In a way , it's like they will tell us as parents , like here's what we decided . You know it's very and it makes sense . You know it's not crazy , it makes sense . It's like , oh , all , right , we'll do it that way .

And I feel like that and I'm getting chills as I talk about that .

That's going to be such a big component that we often forget is that these children , now and in a decade they're going to be adults and it's going to be an infusion of this new way of seeing things , living , this new glimpse that they came in with as , whatever you want to call them , you know rainbow children , light . You know rainbow children light .

You know crystal children , whatever you call them , indigo children .

But it gives me a flash too , of you're a 70s kid , right , and I am too , and back then it was kind of similar because , you know , back in the 70s we were definitely coming out of huge rage and uprising you know , the feminist movement , the civil rights movement , all happened right and there were .

There were hippies who are us and who were talking about the new way . Yeah , and we , as children , came in with our own kind of mission , which is being played out now . But it's so . It's such a cool repeating cycle to see .

That's like 50 years apart , you know of like , or 40 years apart maybe , but it's like this cycle of the children come in with their mission . You know they're they're kind of , in a way , bubbleized from the chaos going on by the adults , because we were , we didn't really care about that chaos , we were children .

I mean , if we were fortunate , we didn't have to care about , I mean , be in it , in it . And now same . You know , this chaos is going on . These children are coming with their own mission and , you know , 30 , 40 years from now , we're going to have a different planet courtesy of them and courtesy of what we are now hashing out and and de structurizing .

What do you say ?

They're like I'm keeping the power , it's mine , it's mine , you can't have it . You can't have it , which is not . That's not natural . Like , what's natural is that when you get to a certain point , then you mentor the next generation and then they more . You know that's like , but right now that's not what's happening , it's like the spectrum .

Both of them were so freaking clinging on to power that it left a vacuum .

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with the message oh yeah , the last couple of nights and this , the message that gave me was if we could all just honor and see each other's unique soul path as an intricate and unique soul path , that's very powerful and important , we would have heaven on earth .

If we could all each just accept that baseline truth that each of us here right now is on a really important soul path and just sort of have an inherent respect for that , like you and I develop when we tap into energies and stuff . You see that . But you know humans in general don't think about that , you know .

We just think about where are you in the earth , you know . But if you really could see you know everything we see when we tap into the Akash and all that it would be heaven on earth if we could sort of accept that as important truth here . You know everything we see when we tap into the Akash and all that .

It would be heaven on earth if we could sort of accept that as important truth here . You know , I mean it would be and it will be when that happens , because this next generation or the one after will have an inherent understanding of that for sure I hope so .

But staying home when I'm feeling down sometimes just makes it worse . So I was like , let me get up , Let me go out , let me like be in the world a little bit and just kind of go kind of have coffee with somebody . And I still was feeling heavy .

So I came back home I was like , all right , this isn't the day when this is going to flip the switch for me . But I almost canceled our call because I was like I don't know if India even wants to talk to me today , always , but then I was like India does want to talk to me , because I have this story that nobody wants to be friends with me .

So I was like , okay , india does want to do . So I'm just gonna , I'm just gonna be present to my feelings and try to just allow them to exist .

So when you just said again , you just got right to it , the thing of recognizing your stories , yeah , what it is about you that it's like amazing is you , you , you , you have that , and then you say it and you don't have the , you don't allow yourself to edit , and that's such a beautiful quality , cause some , you know it's , it's a layer that everybody thinks

that nobody did .

Not that I was ever told that directly , but I just kind of inherited some kind of and so , and also , especially if you're in pain , especially , you know , if you don't have sunshine to share , then just be quiet . You know , if you can't say something , nice , don't say anything . So you know all that , all that messaging .

So I realized that for me , the medicine is being the first one to reach out , being the first one to say hey , I was thinking of you , you know , even if I'm just leaving a message for someone that I care about , because my internal voice says no , no , that shouldn't . You know , you shouldn't do that .

So it's beautiful to see that line up with yours of you know , no one wants to be friends with me , when you know that's just absolutely not true . And I feel like for everybody the reason we were guided to share this , because everybody has something like that . Maybe you're listening to this and you're going .

Nobody feels the way I do , and we literally had no intention of this being a podcast episode . We just were connecting to talk and , spirit said , share it . So that's already proof that you know we others are feeling the same as you are .

energy up , like I hear that like , oh , you want to tune in , raise your energy , raise your energy , be , be the light , be the light . And sometimes you just sometimes the light is not white , it's gray or whatever , like I don't know how you say it , but it's like it's God knows , or goddess or divine , whatever you believe in , knows when you're lying .

So if you say right , like so , if you're like , oh , I'm in a positive space because I just feel like the presence of the universe around me , but you really feel it rage and anger and sadness and grief , those feelings will magically just go away because you lied about it to yourself and to God or whatever the creators there .

God's like I can tell you're lying , I see what's in your heart or you know whatever . So it's just learning how to be authentic but also not be a complainer .

The yin yang symbol is a nice guide because it's like you know , we are the dark and the light and you can have a little bit of light in the dark and a little bit of dark in the light , you know , just making sure that you're you're saying I'm not just just light , I'm also dark , I'm both , and I can have a little drop of one in the other and it'll

be okay . It doesn't have to be all or nothing . This thing that I alluded to earlier in our conversation about the feminine aspect of you being the heart and the spirit and the masculine aspect being the body and the mind , that has been life-changing for me to integrate .

Because if I feel like I am really struggling with my body , if I'll allow the feminine of my heart to connect to my body and say , hey , I feel you , you're right , I'm gonna feel the feelings you're asking me to feel now , instead of you having to carry them masculine . Oh , I feel that .

And if I'm in my head and it's like negativity , anxiety , and I'll say , hey , masculine mind , could you lighten up a little bit , maybe quiet down a little bit , so that the spirit feminine can come through and my mind's like , oh , I'll try , all right .

You know that has been so huge and maybe it's just cause I'm a Libra and I'm like wired for this masculine feminine dynamic thing , but it helps me so much just to connect with myself and it will reflect out into interactions with people .

You know , it's like people can feel that balancing and that and that personal responsibility of like , oh , they're balancing from inside , they're not trying to use me to regulate Right , which can be so destructive when we're just trying to get something from somebody to we feel better , it's like it's awful .

But if we're both bringing like , hey , I'm working on things , it's definitely not great , not perfect , and the other person's like me too , then we can share and go oh wow , you got a little what I need actually . And here's some of what you need . And actually spirits like you think , don't do you think I had a plan that whole time ?

Yeah , that's what I mean by flow .

Hold on , yeah , on a call , sweetie . Okay , I'll see you later .

Now I'm trying a little bit to just like okay , I have pain , I have whatever's going on in my body , whatever's going on in my soul , my heart , my spirit . Let me just be present with it and like it's not a mistake .

It's like it's , it's like I'm under rubble and I have to , like , ascend up out of it . And you know , just get out of here . It feels like , you know , you're trapped in your body , you're trapped in the emotions .

And same epiphany , you know , like last night , just feeling that stuff and going what if I just feel the emotions that my body's asking me to feel ? Okay , and then , like before I knew it , the rubble could just clear away on its own without me having to be pulled up out of it . You know , by by whatever ?

You know , my insistence on being pulled up out of it . You know , by by whatever , you know my insistence on being pulled up out of it , which is so much harder to , so much harder to get rid of it or get pulled up out of it than it is to just let it clear by you know or not .

But you need to find a way to let that coexist People . People say a thing that I think is wrong . They say like well , you can't feel love and hate , can't feel love and anger , can't feel love , and it's like you actually can . You can feel love and rage .

I don't know about hate , I'm not going to get into that one but love and rage , love and sadness , love and hopelessness even they can coexist , coexist , but it's not something , I think , at least in the american culture , that we are taught how to do yeah , and and that rage card that came up for the feminine , yeah , it was so powerful .

So I do see the masculine in this different place of trying to observe and noticing that they are coming into a new wisdom which here on this card , he's got sort of a blank scroll in front of him and it's like the masculine's in this place of listening and observing and going .

Okay , maybe it would be wise for me to just take in and not act and not you know , and not sort of do what I normally do and thaw it out , you know and , like you know , plow forward .

They're not in that , but that is . It's not that feminine's needed and masculine isn't , but it's like the masculine of wisdom is needed versus the masculine of , like , bitchy bossiness , which is kind of what we're seeing right now . Yes , in leadership yes , absolutely , absolutely .

I think I feel like this inner integration of those two energies the rage and the wisdom , the feminine and the masculine , and letting it amalgamize , you know , inside is going to be key in this transformational year .

I mean , there's so much this year that's coming up around the heart , with cancer energy coming into play , so much , you know , we've got this Pluto and Aquarius that's causing us to move into our spirit more .

So I do see this sort of rise of the feminine energy in all of us , as you know , the way to move forward , but it is going to be in a completely raw and different way than we've ever seen . The feminine energy , for sure , and it may look like whoa , that's intense , you know , but the masculine can be in this unprecedented .

I want to say silence and acceptance too . That's very wise and very beautiful . This , this receiving place , you know , which is needed . It's almost like the feminine has to show more Yang and the masculine has to show more Yin in this season , you know , yeah , so that we can get that balance .

And oh well , the point is that we're all feeling this stuff inside of ourselves . I love getting to come together with you whenever we do , and share that , because you know , the gift of our connection is it does say you're not alone .

You know , I'm feeling this in this different way , and that's that's why I think spirit wanted us to to share this with whoever hears it too , because you're not alone and we're not alone , and it can be anywhere on the planet and you're not alone .

And so I was like huh , and I have just been a little bit , probably a lot more open about my authentic self with people . I don't push , but I'm like yeah , I'm into this , I do this , I meditate , I like communicate with angels , I do stuff like that's just my thing .

And I had my first spirit circle at my house the other night with like five women Wow , that were . I was like hey , do you ?

allow that to kind of flow into every part .

I'm in my mind or I'm in my spirit and you do a really good job of being in both and that's pretty powerful wow , cordelia , you're gonna make me cry .

But when we get into the being humans , I really I really do struggle and and that is such a gift to hear that you see , you see that integrating in my human self , that that's I need that , thank you .

Like it just makes so much sense to me , you know , and I heard another spiritual person say that they felt like an alien and I realized that that was a common feeling , but a lot of us feel like we're here like what the fuck ?

I mean , that's the definition , is not sharing your true self . Then you look around , you think I'm the only one who's like this and it's the nature of separation . So I mean we're definitely .

I keep looking at the ace of pentacles that came out again , keeps coming out , and that's talking about a new way of living and it seems we are doing that in real time , in real right time , right now . That's what we're doing .

But also , yeah , that doesn't surprise me that , yeah , it's like a come on , Cordelia , let's do this Like I'll make you , if you're not going to go ahead and do it .

And still , how do you be in your place where you're not happy , and still be authentic , but still be in a space of love , and and you're actually doing it- so I will be happy to be on your podcast sometime soon in the future and or actually tomorrow or whatever time .