Culture or Cult? Trusting Your Truth With Cassie Parlotto

So we're just going to dive right into this conversation , which goes in a lot of directions that I think you're going to resonate with and receive a lot from . So here we go . If you were describing what you do , who you are , how would you do that ?

I have a doggy , let's see , I also , in addition to owning the studio , I have a corporate job . I work in product management , um , for software companies . So I'm doing that .

And then , lastly , probably the thing that's like the biggest thing , that's kind of like over Cassie's life that surprises most people , is that I pretty much grew up in what I would consider a cult , from the ages of eight years old to my early twenties .

So a theme of my adult life has been unpacking a lot of that and coming back to truth and just figuring out what life means to me as opposed to what life was like , because in a cult it's kind of like manipulation and games and stuff . It's like they tell you what the truth is and you just believe it .

So getting to a place of having your own inner authority and your own inner truth and being able to discern that for yourself is actually a skill to be learned , and if you don't learn it at a young age , you got to be like me and learn it as an adult .

It never comes into my head , and so it it . When you said it again , I was like , oh right , and that's something that's definitely interesting to talk about and it's something that , uh , coincides with the energies we're going through right now .

Um , because , astrologically , we are in energies right now that if you had fertile ground and fertilizer for cult mentality , it would be this this is what we are in the midst of .

There are planetary energies that are actually really strong right now that can make people more willing and open to just sort of , like you said , giving over to a way of thought and sort of following that you know , very in a very focused way and actually it might be fun to talk about . You know where is that line ?

Because I know I was talking to my mom the other day . We were talking about something . It was Pilates . I was trying to remember what it was and I was like I'm trying Pilates , and then we kind of talked about I was talking to him describing an energy that sometimes goes with certain types of workouts .

You know , and you can describe certain types of workouts as sometimes having a culty culture and and I sort of said to my mom , I was like I guess you could say that about anything . You could say that about the work that that I do . You could say that about yoga . You could say that about absolutely anything .

So first I want to know how , what was the process of you kind of coming out of that closet , or was that a process or was something you just always included when you were describing yourself ? Second , where do you think that line is ? And I just want to hear your point of view and and anything you want to share on that .

So for the very first time in my life I had to figure it out on my own . In the culture that I grew up in , this very strict religious culture , the woman deferred everything to the male , like everything , like decisions , how you're going to do your family , like usually they didn't work or provide any income or anything like that .

So for the very first time in my life , I had to do all of those on my own . I barely graduated high school . I was very smart , it was just not . Education was not like a huge priority . And here I am , like in my mid twenties little kids and like , oh , I got to put food on the table now .

So at the you know , leaving the church , divorce it was like I was given a huge , beautiful gift and that was like now you get to decide what life looks like for you , and that pretty much propelled me into a decade long self-improvement project on myself where I was like , listen , like I don't want to be in poverty , I don't want to .

Like I don't want my life just to be like a statistic or a number , like I actually want to create something beautiful that I'm very proud of . And so I found for me that , like , as I read books and I learned and I grew and I implemented those things into my life , my life would change in a meaningful way .

So for me it was just a process of like , slowly and I think I'm still in this process to be quite honest is like learning more , um , just truth about the universe and truth about myself . And then the more I align with truth , the closer I come to feeling like my authentic self , to use that little bit of a buzzword .

So I think for other people to your question , I think the line is truth and I think why it's so muddy these days a bit is because you know we have our mass media that is paid for clicks and so the more sensationalized or something anything is , that's the way they're going to pitch it .

So it's hard to uncover truth , right , if you're relying on other people to give it to you . So it's kind of a thing where you have to discover it on your own , you can't rely upon anyone else . Or maybe you do learn from some source , but in the end it's like if you're taking an information , like I was , and then you're like , does this resonate with me ?

Does this feel good to me ? Because there were a lot of things I learned I was like nope , that doesn't feel good to me , that doesn't feel right or that sounds cool but that doesn't actually line up with my lived experience . So I don't think that's going to work for me .

So I guess , whether it's something political or something like I'm talking about , you know , fitness based or whatever , you will know , when you are maybe giving over that power to a truth that's outside of you and you're not questioning .

Because I think , with our own personal truth , the thing that makes it our personal truth is we're always testing it , questioning it , we're always letting it shape and mold , we're listening to our guidance , we're paying attention to our connections , we're going through changes , and that's what makes it our personal truth , that's what makes us trust it , because we

have a relationship to it . But I guess , if that an inner relationship , but I guess if that relationship to your truth is outside of you , then , whether it's religion or anything else , we're talking about a group truth and not a personal truth .

But I think what sets that apart from , say , a cult or from a group think that is very toxic and manipulative , is when you are not allowed to question , when you're not allowed to have your own opinions that vary from that standard norm , without persecution , without people looking down upon you .

So I think that variance is worse or worse , or , yes , absolutely worse . So it's just like a little bit of a meter . It's like , okay , I can be myself , I can have like everybody's going to be a little bit different , right , but are you being persecuted for that ? Are people looking down upon you for that ? Are people blasting you ?

Are people trying to cancel you ? Like those are red flags for me , yeah .

I mean everything is , but one of the things is that you are someone who's so gifted at drawing in people from you know all parts of life at your studio . I know that people come and gather and enjoy each other's gifts and share , and you are one of those connectors . Part of your soul path might be bringing healing to this wound .

You're talking around about around being able to connect with a group of people , but still hold your own personal truth .

You know , years and years later that I assume I'll continually have to work through .

But I think part of like what I thought was like part of my path was like I've learned so many tools and so many things that you can do and I just love to share those with people and I love to , as you say , like draw people and create a space where people can come and be themselves , and if they want to learn and grow , they can .

If they just want to come and hang out and be part of our community , that's okay too . So I think it goes back to that thing that I think all of us are a little bit drawn to , and that is I'm creating what I wanted to have during that time in my life and even this time of my life , I'm enjoying myself .

I love every single thing that I do and so can I create that self , safe , welcoming space to other people , no matter which phase of life you're in .

You know , whether you find each other um organically in the physical world or whether you're connected on the internet , or whether you know , you just remember someone from your past and your soul's reconnect it's .

It's such a time of us connecting in new and different ways and not just sticking to our villages , and it's such a time of these new , higher vibrational energies coming in . We're all embodying them and essentially , we're reinventing and rebirthing the planet . Um , you know , we can see that as clear in all the changes we're going through .

We are definitely some people see it negatively , I tend to see it positively but we're , we're changing as a planet and in doing that , in connecting and and birthing this change together , there is such a balance of individual versus group that your own personal truth versus you know , a hive mind kind of thing that either you feel a part of in a unique way , or

you feel just like this sort of I'm not an individual and there's just seems to be so much confusion around that right now .

So much opportunity to find clarity , to search ourselves for that , and so much opportunity to create a new way of being where the whole way we connect with each other is different , the whole way we identify as individuals is different and sort of having an equal , equal parts , complete , individual , truth and voice and self and we're one at the same time .

It just and it feels like you are a person that , as I get to know you , I'm like she is just sort of the embodiment of what I'm talking about here , like you are this ambassador of that , because you have so much that's unique about you .

You also have this experience that you're describing of being a part of something else and also , you know , connecting people now . So how do you feel like , with so many strong energies out there of different things you can either subscribe to or not , and I feel like a lot of people , more people than we know , are just kind of going .

Yeah , none of it I don't want . People than we know are just kind of going . Yeah , none of it I don't want . I mean , we can't really afford to opt out , but I feel like many people are probably just trying to live their lives and be , and be on their own journey .

You know , where do you feel like , um , clarity comes in as far as finding your way and all this . You have teenage children . How do you , you know , guide them and finding clarity and all that ?

I always go back to the fact that I truly believe that we're placed here in this time and space for a very specific reason and I also believe in mirroring . I feel like my environment is a reflection of me , so even like my country and my community and all that sort of thing .

So I have been having a more concerted effort lately to not lately , just like within the last few years . When I look out there , it's easy to other people , right , it's easy to say they're the toxic ones , they're , you know , evil , whatever you want to call it . But I don't think that's actually true .

I don't think anyone is all evil or all good , and I think it's easy for us to try and label people and push people away . I like to look out into my environment and say what am I contributing to this ? Where am I not heart centered ? Where am I not being passionate ? Where am I not understanding where other people are coming , not being passionate ?

Where am I not understanding where other people are coming from ? And so when we talk about the vibration of our universe , like as you become more yourself , as you become more kind , as you become more loving , you will naturally lift up the people around you .

You'll give them permission to do the same to be seen for who they are and all their glory and vibration is not something you can physically see , but it will happen . So I think truly the change and the work is with yourself is changing yourself , being more compassionate , being more loving .

But , you know , seeing that part , that shadow part that we can see so easily in other people , seeing , you know , okay , that's actually reflecting a place in me that needs love , that is in the darkness , that's being left in the shadows , and when we can really see that it is such a gift , it does not feel like a gift you know , at all , because it could

feel just like this person or situation is hurting me and I just want to get away from it . but I think what you're talking about is that realization of , well , it all is me , and that does not mean that we need to tolerate things that are causing us suffering .

Definitely , if a situation comes along that feels difficult or painful , saying is there something in this that this can show me feeling into that personal truth some more , communicating from your heart what you can , and then recognizing okay , this can either be influenced by me or not .

You know , like you said , I can either bring light to this or it's beyond me to do that , but either way , it's going to show me more about myself . And , good Lord , I feel like we've all been going through that discovery times a million , especially with these energies that are going on . They're all about revealing those shadows more and more and more .

Just when we think , oh , we've got all . We found all the shadowy places , it's like , oh , there's another one . It's like when you're remodeling a house and the more you fix and uncover , the more you're like , oh , and there's also mold in the ceiling and all these pipes are . It's just seemingly never ending .

But , you just kind of have to keep going because you're like this is the project , this is it .

But at the same time , right now , as all that really uh , intense and and difficult stuff , it feels like spirit and and our intuition is guiding us toward being more gentle with ourselves , treating ourselves more like little children , and yoga is such a big part of that for me .

You know , letting yourself have a safe space where you can just be quiet and do things that feel good in your body . Give your body some space , no-transcript , to receive that gift without the demands of other people or our minds or anything else absolutely it's .

an internal process that you're undertaking as well as a physical one . So , yeah , it's a beautiful thing just to be able to notice and be still and be quiet . I think it's awesome .

We're sitting there looking at all the titles and it's vintage , so they're from years ago , and some of our favorite stuff it's in there and the energy felt really good . And then what was interesting was a couple of men , a couple of masculines , you know , kind of wandered in and they just right away were asking for recommendation .

I mean , we were just sitting there having a tea , but they were like you know , what would you recommend ? And there were two interesting things about that , you know , and it was in a very benign like exploratory fun , you know , they were just having fun with spirituality kind of way , or at least very curious .

And the things that stood out to me were you you know , I've been doing this work for 10 years . The representation of the masculine has been pretty small over the years wanting to actively do this work . Um , I feel like that's really growing and and the other thing was they were . They seem to be really enjoying it .

They seem to be like this is really fascinating , like really diving in in a way where that was fun to see . It was almost like seeing their little boys go like whoa , this stuff that the girls have been into is really cool , Like you know , it's just a neat thing to experience .

It's just a neat thing to experience and it also is very encouraging because I feel like the feminine energy whether you're in a masculine or a feminine body , you have both energies .

I feel like the feminine energy has long been kind of worried , slash , maybe almost giving up on the masculine energy in some ways , and definitely feeling imbalanced with it and it just felt like a nice little glimmer of sunshine .

It was like you know , it was like we we are reaching more balance there and I could be coming from a very skewed view , but I want to hear your experience with like that balance and what you think about all that and it was funny because when you brought it up , when we were , when we when we had our book chat at the bookstore , I hadn't really considered

or even noticed it before .

I just wasn't seeing it myself , um , but then , when you pointed it out , I was like oh yeah , that's true , I am starting to see it more and more and I'm very encouraged by it as well . Um , like you were saying , like masculine , feminine , it's very much like a spectrum .

It's kind of like we all have different parts of that energy , and so I know for myself , I tend to have assumptions in my mind about how , like , males in particular will respond to certain things , and so I have to check myself and say , no , cassie , you need to stop doing that , because times are changing , changing , people are learning , people are growing and

expanding . It's like the universe is naturally expanding , um , and that means we are naturally expanding too . So you're growing and learning , and so they are too , and so don't make assumptions about who or what they are .

To , to you know , drop the judgment , drop the fear , drop all that and just say , hey , let's all . You know . It's like when we're all kids and it's just like there is a point before which we , you know , actually are like , who cares if you're a girl or a boy like you're , just like , you know , know .

And then there's that point where we're like , oh , it makes a huge difference . But that's all just perception , really , and it's all just based on the past and past behaviors , which I love looking at .

You know , the kids now are little gen elphas and going , like you know , in a lot of ways they don't perceive it and and you know that we did at least as much as we did , and maybe the next generation even won't think about those differences at all and just see so much more of a balanced world and just be like everything's for everyone .

So we were explaining it and both of the guys were like but I want to come .

So , like as an owner and somebody that you know brings things to your community , it's like made me have to take like a second , like thought about , like , okay , is this something that everybody would be interested in , or am I just like narrowing it down to just females , because that's who I think would be interested in this particular content ?

So it's definitely given me a lot to think about .

a place of deciding that . So you know , I don't want to pigeonhole , let's see , let's see who shows up for this , let's see . You know , let's give things a chance to shift and change . And that's where I feel like we're at . And then , of course , the mind comes in and goes well , we have to do something that's going to succeed , we have to do something .

But I feel like the definition of success is also shifting you know it's shifting to , is something fulfilling , is something connecting , because when they are , the success is being revealed in new ways , wouldn't you say ?

But then I think it's shifting for me where it's like okay , well , if you deliver something to a group of people and it doesn't actually help them , are you , are you really successful ? Like so I would hate to put out classes that people are just paying for and are not coming to or not getting anything out of it .

They're not getting what they want out of it .

So how do I , as a business owner , as somebody that wants to serve my community which is what it really boils down to is like how can I give them something that will truly help them , that they'll enjoy , that they'll have a good time with , and how can those be my measures of success and not a number on a bottom line ?

What kind of like with self-care , you know it's like , I know , a latte is a lot of money for coffee and milk , but it is , you know , translating to a sense of I'm taking care of myself and I'm I'm giving myself something , because I'm , you know , putting my I'm , I'm treating myself , you know putting my I'm , I'm treating myself , you know , and those things ,

whether you're spending or making money , I feel like we're bringing a whole new paradigm to value , you know , and again going back to like , what's your authentic truth , what's important to you ?

Sure , and I want to hear that message .

I found that when I did the fearful thing , when I did the vulnerable thing and I finally did share it with somebody whether it was my partner or a good friend or my therapist one I just felt this immediate relief .

I think there's just something just very hopeful and I'm trying to think about the like it's not releasing , but it's close to that about just getting something off of your chest and it's like you don't have to suffer in silence and you can bring it up .

You can get love , you can get support and most of the time , you realize that a lot of other people have probably dealt with this the same like as you have , and so you can have this extra level of support that you never had and the hopeful part of that card that I saw , like that light on the horizon , like my mind went to the importance of community and

connection and like having those people that you meet with and you talk with maybe it's your church community , maybe it's your yoga studio , maybe it's your women's group , where you just have a place where you can be seen the good , the bad and the ugly and you can have support for that journey . So you know that you can't , you don't have to suffer alone .

Suffering alone I think there could be cases where you want to keep something private , but I think for a lot of things you could have a lot of relief and love and compassion if you share it with a safe person or within a safe space .

You're tugging on that line of connection with spirit and even if it doesn't seem so right away and you certainly don't want to open up if you know someone's you know , doesn't have the capacity to receive for sure , but just allowing yourself to share what's going on in your heart .

Yeah , and I love also , you know , the concept of silence and the concept of suffering interesting together because when you , when you climb vibrationally to the top of anywhere , like you're saying , you know I've released some shadows from my life , some reflections of shadows , I've released some addictions , I've released some negative patterns and I've risen up , and

then it can get really silent up there , it can get really quiet .

And when it's quiet and peaceful in within ourselves , I can feel really good , except when we run into a fear or something that doesn't feel good and then that silence can turn into suffering , like laying there in the middle of the night all night long and being like nothing's actually happening . But I am suffering , my mind is making me suffer .

You know and I love what you said about speaking , because I was just saying this with a client that so often readings are either about being able to hear yourself speak the questions you didn't know you had , or hearing the confirmation come back to you of what you already knew .

It's like we really know and have everything inside , but we're just so silent within ourselves that we need each other to be able to say and oh wait , I feel that way . I didn't really know that , I didn't really know how I felt until I heard myself saying it Sometimes .

I'll just be like I didn't know I was even upset until I heard myself sobbing and like you know , to you , to someone . And the same with hearing the confirmation , confirmation . You hear it and you're like oh yeah , I kind of knew that it's not new information but it's so confirming of what my heart knows .

And it's harder for the mind to negate truth when we hear it echoed back to us . The mind has a harder time being like uh-uh , but when we're silent , it's like has a field day . It's being like your heart is wrong . You can't handle this you're , you've messed up whatever it's saying , they're gonna get you you know whatever it is .

So just because you've had that experience of um , creating your own truth from nothing , really a lot later than some of us had , that Maybe I mean you are in a different way than some of us had that what would you tell someone who ?

What guidance would you give someone who is trying to create , find , discover their own truth , rather than one that they've just sort of found themselves steeping in , that's not really theirs ?

She is a psychologist and she also had a traumatic religious experience growing up , and just I want to talk about the word trauma just for , like a quick little side thing . It's like it's very normal when you grow up in it . So it didn't seem traumatic at the time , it seemed very normal . So I just want to like call that out .

Yeah , that's just my words as an adult , like you know , 20 plus years later .

Yeah , um , but she has a book , I think it's called the way of integrity , and so she talks a lot about her process that she went through and it really resonated with me and what she recommends you do is something that's super simple , super innocuous , where you're like surely that it can't be that simple .

She's like every day , just become 1% more truthful with yourself about something . It could be anything , anything at all . It could be .

You have this thought or this feeling inside with your kid or your partner or your coworker , and instead of keeping it inside and not voicing it I mean , don't say something like harshly or unkindly but it could just be as simple as saying hey , I understand where you're coming from , but I don't actually agree with that .

So just just tiny little bits , just becoming a little bit more truthful take what's inside of you , that your thoughts , your feelings , even your actions , and just make it a little bit more in line with who you are on the outside , to the outside world .

But like nine times out of 10 , or maybe 9.999% of the time people meet you where you're at Like people will say oh , okay , like people don't get mad at you . So I think we just have this unconscious fear that it's not going to be okay to be myself . But that's not usually the case .

Usually it's totally fine , everything is good , unless you do it in a really like obnoxious or mean or harsh way , which you probably wouldn't do . That .

Yeah , so yeah , certainly , if you're listening to this , you've probably never done that , so probably anyone you were drawn to connect to is not going to do that either . Exactly , beautiful , beautiful . Is there anything else you'd like to talk about or go in the direction of , or ask or anything while we're connecting ?

So , yes , I would love to be connected .