Greatest Quitters with Joe McAdam

corn cast role, whatever you want to call it. And c J is going to be making mac and cheese and stuffing. Wow, those are two big important items. Now, some people don't think you're supposed to have mac and cheese at It's ridiculous, absolutely certain stupid. We never had it growing up, and I always wanted to. I remember when you're asking if we could have spaghetti and meatballs, UM for Thanksgiving? If you enjoy it's like Thanksgiving is a time to eat all your favorite foods, and spaghetti

meatballs is in my top ten. And I've been to a m one of your family large family gatherings for Thanksgiving and there was Filipino food. There's Filipino food, there's pizza Frankis. Oh it was so good. I was thrilled. All right, well that is that's the most Thanksgiving theme. Um portion of the show. I want to bring on our guest, who is a dear, dear friend of ours, very very funny comedian, comedy writer, actor. He's got it all half of but But but Sketch comic favorite Sketch Crew,

Ladies and gentlemen, Joe McAdam. Guys, thank you so much, thanks for having me. And um, I'm psyched about Thanksgiving. Let's let's do this. What are you making Thanksgiving? What are you making making? I'm making mac and cheese. Yeah, mac and cheese. If you don't think it should be at Thanksgiving, that's weird, Like just allow it, just allow it. Yeah, I never knew it was controversial until recently. I see people tweeting like, oh, yeah, it's not a real it's

not a real like holiday food. It's like, it's the most comfort food to me is Thanksgiving Christmas tip. Well, and if you can have like cheesy potatoes, why can't you have cheesy pasta? That's all I'm trying to say. You should everything should be like a cheesy you know, carb starch whatever. That sounds great, that sounds fantastic. You should be that got turkey. Turkey in a turkey. I'm gonna make some gravy with some about a thing at turkey. Next,

you know what turkey. Next, go for the grocery store. Take a guess, leg I'm okay, I'm gonna say a buck a neck. I've next three five for three dollars only in America. What you want about this drink? You can buy five turkey necks for three dollars. If you're a turkey listening to this, that has to really piss you off. Listen up, Turkey, because if someone was selling five Megan necks for three dollars, I go, this is bullshit.

It would deserve more. And if you flip the numbers, if it was three necks for five bucks, you wouldn't even blink. But it's that's like a way worse deal. It sounds like a Yo Mama joke, like Yo Mama's next, so stupid it goes for three for five bucks. You should do Yo Mama Thanksgiving jokes for turkeys. All right, I'll start a Google doc and we'll start dropping in, um your mama jokes for turkey. Next. I love this project.

I can't wait to see it to completion for sure. Wait, well real quick, because I don't think I've ever had just solely turkey. Next, what what is involved in cooking it? I'm just gonna I'm just gonna cook like a like a sear some turkey next in a you know, a pretty big pan, and then just like add whatever the some drippings and some flour and I don't know what stuff to make it a make it a gravy. And then and then you take the turkey necks out at

some point, Yeah, straight out the turkey. Next, get rid of it. You don't want to turkey neck in there, but that's where that's where the turkey keeps all its flavor is in the neck. So that's what you want. You want to get those next in there. Now. C J says that he's been looking for a mac and cheese recipe. Maybe if you could share. No, I'm not happy to share the whole thing. Maybe you leave out one or two ingredients so the secret is safe. But I'd like to lobby for CJ to get the recipe

so I can eat that mac and cheese. And I've been tweaking, Like the last I think the last time you guys ate my mac and cheese was did I bring it to the super Bowl party? I forget I brought something over to your place. I brought mac and cheese your place a while ago. Yeah, I think it. I've been improving the recipe. I'm working on it. I've got over. I've got a much better mac and cheese

recipe today than I did one year ago. Okay, And that's the secret, Like we're not seeing what's what do you think is like an important aspect of a mac and cheese dish? To you, Velvita, it's like it's hands down, it's Velbata put it in. And if someone's a snob about it, tell him to take a hike. It's because the thing is they're already been snobs about not wanting mac and cheese. So ce J and I we've cut any mac and cheese snobs out of our lives. I

gotta lose them. You gotta go with the good stuff. It's yeah, you go with and there's there's more to it, but I'll send over a recipe. Now we had are now famous super Bowl party. And I say famous because it's the last time I felt safe being around people. Um and maybe for the rest of my life. We had our famous super Bowl party almost entirely for Joe McAdam. I can't express how much I appreciate that. It's the sweetest thing. It was the best day of my life,

maybe better than my marriage. Its beautiful. It's it's mine to say it. It's fine to say no, it's not. It is okay, it is okay. My dad I think ranks. Oh I forgot they listen, But I feel like my dad ranks the Colts winning the Super Bowl behind the birth of his children, but ahead of his wedding day and they're still married. Yeah, so Dad, you can correct me if that's wrong. We had a saved seat for you.

Let me give a little backstory, like why was it as important and also get into your allegiances a little bit with your teams and sports. I'm originally from Kansas City. Obviously I met you guys in Chicago, but I've I've never like latched onto Chicago sports teams. I've always been Chiefs Royals, and I'm definitely a bigger football fan than

anything else. Um, and so as a Chiefs fan, I mean, they that was the first Super Bowl they've won in fifty years, and they are notoriously the most heartbreaking team. The Colts have destroyed our our hopes so many times. I've had a lot of fun watching the Colts. It's and it's been it's been very rough. And so now where it's like this is the first time ever in my whole like sports life where it's like it's not even a fluke. It's like, Okay, this this is a

very game team and they are expected to win. And that's like my brain doesn't even know how to process. I've like like internalized this identity of being like an underdog, you know, for sports, and for that leads into everything else. Like that's just it's like because we it was a topic of ours I think a couple of weeks ago, small market teams and like the Chiefs, I don't. I think the Chiefs might be the most dominant team in sports, and like I also am like calculating they're probably the

favorites for the next few years. And that's like that's that's strange for Kansas City to hold that like for it's weird, not really known like, Yeah, Pat Mahomes is going to be there for his entire career. It looks like and it's crazy. The Kansas City Chiefs or Kansas City might be the number one NFL team for the next for the next five years. Yeah, I think it's it's Uh, I love it. I can't. I can't express it enough. That's so cool. I can't. I'm like, I'm

like doing back backflips about it. I'm a little hungover today because the chief has played the Raiders last night. We've got our houses, uh struggling today. Cults beat the Packers in overtime. And there was definitely some reserve alcohol that I had for the election that we didn't get to that when who boy, when you squeak out a game against the NFC North, you got to get that election and alcohol popping. And I don't know that we're

going with. Last night, Um, we took c J and I, just the two of us in our home, took shots of fireball and she has like she had like a twelve pack of little like airplane fireballs. Um, and that's the that that was like the third. We also have these can Margarita's and palomas that she kept going no, not cut water, which was like an early favorite, but

it's these new ones. I don't even know what they're calling. Um. And then c J and I I also hadn't eaten because I had eaten so much the night before, so I was drinking on an empty stomach. So excited we got drunk enough to do karaoke alone in our home with these microphones not plugged. Yeah, CJ took him out of the podcast and handed it to me and we said, okay, ed sheeron, We're ready. That rules. I'm so glad I've

been there. I think at least once during during quarantine, just me and my wife just just singing, you know, beas or something, just as loud as possible. What a beautiful moment. Felt amazed. I like, just before we started this, I was like, I want to do that again. We don't even we don't even need the cults to almost lose a game that they should have won. You know, we could just have fun and regardless it helps, though, football really helps. Yeah, but then bring it down. It's

a it's a roller coast one. Then marcusol the Lakers had signed marcossol Um, and yeah, it was just it was a good moment for the Tolo Donnod Gailey household in terms of sports that we then got Rack Sheep. Megan ordered Raman and then I ordered Papa John's. Hell yeah, I love the ordering of two restaurants for the same meal. Yeah, it's it's it's a move that I didn't think like, I don't know if I had like some kind of mental block about it, but I've I've unlocked that during

the last few months, and it's great. Get crazy bread from Little Caesar's with you know the you know, McDonald's cheeseburgers and whatever. It's it rules. I love it. Yeah. We got Danny Palumbo pasta one Sunday, which is louzy that don't know. Danny Palumbo is a very talented comedian slash chef and makes like gourmet food and I opped on the way home to get Crazy Brett to go with it. Yeah that's amazing. Yeah, I haven't had Danny, but I've I've heard amazing things. I gotta I got

to hit Daniepe for an order. I had spicy tuna on Crispy Rice last night and then I popped over and said, heck, y'all have a piece of Papa John. So I don't care. Yeah, that's the way to do it. It feels like we weren't allowed to do it as kids, because there's no way we were, and so it just it's there's like a level of we've been left with a credit card that we don't have to pay for, even though we do. And how much of living with c J is like is like living in the movie

blank Check? It's it's it's blank Check. It's also don't tell them on the Babysitters Dead. It's so many it's it's all of those I just got a home alone, Blanket Deliver. Yeah, it's um. It's sometimes I feel like I am Sally Field and Mrs Doubtfire. And this is at the beginning, you know, this is the prequel where I'm just like, he's so funny, this is amazing. I love him. He makes me laugh. And then the sequel is obviously you know, there's a donkey in the living

room and she wants to divorce. They're playing yeah jump around and on a birthday cake, right, So yeah, I worry if Mrs doubt Fire is my future, Well that's you know, there's worse stuff that could happen. Then you start to live the film this is doubt. C J and I get separated. I pierced brosen in and then I go, you know what, c J. I did, Like you impersonating an old Filipino woman in our house. I'm coming back. The thing is pretty nice. Yeah, and I

guess this makes me a cook. But like whenever Megan brings up like fucking like Pierce Brosnan or like a weird old NFL lineman, I was like, I'd congratulate you that that's same high five. Yeah, getting busy with like yeah and an old retired offensive lineman. Yeah. Can you do our podcast afterwards? Can you get Willie rof on this show? Fully? Count? Um? All right, so incredible. Let's

get into our topic a little bit. We we came up with this topic together, which I always look forward to it when we want, you know, our guests, we want like the topic to sort of reflect how they viewed sports, and we came up with greatest Quitters. Now, Joe, explain a little bit and without revealing st your choices, what is appealing to you for this particular topic. I think sports our first and foremost for me. How I

engage with them. Is that it's entertainment. For me, I'm not much of an athlete and I don't know anything about playing sports. Uh so, like the entertainment value of something is is superior for me than anything else that I'm looking at. And if someone like everybody has to quit and it's not even I'm not even living this to retirement or anything, it's just what's a funny thing you can do that is just like quitting, Like I'm done,

I can't. I just don't. It's about like what it means for someone's brain to just be like Nope, nope, not doing it. I'm not, I don't, I don't want to, I don't want this and I love that, and I yeah, that's that's what I'm looking for. It's quitting is also like so villainized in sports, like it's the worst thing you can do. They would rather you fight the umpire, you know, they would rather you bash a baseball bat through a third baseline coach card then to quit. And

so when it happens, it sometimes happens in really hilarious ways. Yeah. No, it's it's always going to be entertaining when like frustration boils over whatever the thing is or apathy, it could be any number of reasons, but yeah, I'm into it. Yeah, because it's like our dream. Like if anyone was asked us, would you want to play professional sport, be like yeah in a second. But then this is just like these giant muscle dudes or women and just like who are

so good? They're saying like, yeah, I don't want to do this anymore. It's it's very funny to me. I thought you were going to say our dream is to quit stand up and I was like, for sure, for sure, ye wouldn't that? Yeah? That that's every every stand up comic stream is to quit doing stand up comedy, and you can't blame them, and they're right all right, As someone who's done it fifteen times, pretty great, I feel

like that. I feel like the process is like when you're starting out, you're like, I just want to be able to make a living doing comedy, and then you make a living doing comedy and you're like, oh boy, I just want to be able to make a living at something else besides comedy, so I can stop doing comedy. I'm looking into other like oh I could I could cook, I could barbecue. I just bought a big barrel smoker. I'm we'll do that. I don't need comedy. I can

do other stuff. I'll make brisket. Yeah, your food is that. No one is like there's too many brisket guys in the game. You know, maybe they are, maybe maybe that's a Reddit board. But in comedy you hear someone like starting comedy and you're like, get the funk out of here. Oh yeah. If any of you guys ever had somebody ask you like, hey, I'm thinking about starting comedy the time, yeah I would. Yeah, it's just like I just don't do it, don't worry about it, don't worry about other

stuff out. Um. All right, well so let's get into it. So Joe, how it works is? Um, is it ascending or a descending We've still someone tell us. Okay, so we start with the number three, number three, and then you go to one, So that's descending if you're going three to the bottom. Mine mine don't even have like a great order, but they're it's fine, totally fine. Well give us, give us the first one you want to

hit us with. Yeah, okay, just to to set the table, this is I think I found out about this just because I was in the YouTube kind of wormhole watching John Kruc on David Letterman, and I can't recommend it enough. Watch every single piece of entertainment from John Kruk on Letterman. But he he, uh, he quit. I think it was in the first inning of a game. He was playing for the White Sox at the time. It was his

you know, mid season. I want to say, I don't know when it was, and he it was the first inning. He hits a single, gets to first base, and then it's like I'm out and then he leaves. He left the game because he was the reason he did it. What he said is is that he wanted to leave and retire with a perfect average, and it was that was the hit that it took to get him, like exactly on the line of batting three D and then he's like, I come out, So yeah, what were what

was the aftermath of that? Who runs? Like? Does someone I think they just got a pinch runner and they're just like all right, and I I don't even know what happened to any Did he have any reason? He's a very lazy dude, like he's just super like But now he's on TV all the time where it's like, yeah, it is interesting that. Then he's like, all right, I got another job. Like maybe he just didn't make enough.

I don't know that baseball salaries and the eighties were cranking the way they are now, so it's not quite the same. But he's he's you know, comfortable. Yeah. I can't imagine he's like high maintenance either. I'm sure he loves like a pretty humble life. No. Yeah, if he's the type of dude where you could you could see if they had like an MTV Cribs episode for John Kruk, they brought you to like a double wide, you wouldn't be ted right, like a laid back dude. He doesn't

give a ship. It would be like the nicest house of my five uncles could be John KRU's house. So he yeah, no, that's again. Watch watch all of his interviews with Letterman, because he talks just about like, oh, you know, times when games were there, like sometimes if you just are stuck on first base and you have to keep running, if it's the end of the ininning. You know, it's like you just have to keep running if if there's contact, and he's just like, I don't

want to I don't want to do this. I hate it. I can't. I can't bear to play baseball anymore. I'm far too lay for this. And there was there wasn't really like Twitter, you know, I mean, there was nothing, so it would be on the local news and then

Sports Center, which wasn't even massive at that time. And I know, again, because there was a social media, I feel like the league back then could have a little bit of control of the narrative that they didn't, like make it a big story so that it didn't set a bad example that you can just quit after getting on base. And also too, it's like John Kruk and

I just knew him. I knew him from The Best Damn Sports Show, which again was like the show that just was a bunch of retired athletes didn't give a shit anymore, and which I then think, you know, Danny McBride, like can Kenny Powers is like based off of John Kruk, and maybe like Pete Rose, it's like a lot of John Rocker John Kruk, Yeah, yeah, and it's that Yeah, that's a perfect dead on, like, yeah, he's just like a dude, who is I don't know. I love fat

baseball players. It's like, I love it. I love a big dude playing baseball, and I'm always going to root for those guys every single time. I kind of like any fat athlete man, woman's sport. When I see someone out there just that I know didn't hold back on Thanksgiving, I'm like, that's I like that you are. Yeah, you know how hard it was to watch, like the Royals World Series against the Mets going up against Bartolo Colonne and I love him. I'm rooting for COLUMBU dude. I

love the Royals, but I'm rooting for Bartlo Colonna. And it's like with him, he was in shape when he got drafted and then it just slowly how fat he got is funny because it's like, what are you skipping practice? Like I remember, and he only got better. Yeah, he only got better. You know, there's somebody he showed. It was the year he retired, maybe two years ago. I forget when he retired, but it was it was like the his his rookie card from and then what he

looked like today. It was like, holy ship, that is a different dude, totally different guy. Like Shack was that way too, was like, how did you get fatter while playing basketball every day. Yeah, I love it. Can I go next? Because my number three pick is a fat athlete? Okay, so my number three is John Dailey quitting the Australian Open after hitting six balls in a row in the water. He like he um, And this was this was like

the third time he quit the Australian Open. Like one one of the times he left the Australian Open he broke a reporter's camera. That was like that infamous time the time before he played in it. He just after the second round, I think he did qualify and he was like, nam good. Um. So he hit the wrong ball out of the bunker, which is listen, I played high school golf and that didn't really even happen that month. Like you mark the ball, you really know which ball

is yours, especially if you're a professional golfer. So that's what got him into this pickle. And then he hit so many balls in the water that he said he was out of balls, and he tweeted, when you run out of balls, you run out of balls. Yes. I shook my playing partner's hands and signed my card with the rules official and the tournament was like we would have brought you more balls, and he's like, no, easily gotten another ball. No, No, I'm not gonna take any

more balls. I'm a big John Daily fan. Yes, I don't watch golf. I don't know anything about golf. I know, you know, I'm that dummy that's just like yeah, Tiger Woods, right, and then I know John Daily. No, John Daily, he just transcends golf. Yeah. I just looked him up on cameo just by pure coincidence. Uh, John Daily charges set. Yeah, he's a big Trump guy. Um. And so I do think if you're like a Republican celebrity quote unquote, you're like,

it's me or my pillow man. You know, like, if you're trying to get a liberal celebrity, you gotta have any anyone you want Republican. If you want just a man that bleeds for America to make you a birthday message, there's not a lot of options. So you're charging to some fifty. That's the American way. Yeah, yeah, you get you get Craig te Nelson to get John Daily Nilson. Oh no, I think so. I don't know, but i'd assume so. But there I also want to recommend there's

an YouTube video. I forget what the guys, maybe Graham something, but um, there's an interview with John Daily where he talks about his diet and I think it's something like fourteen diet cokes um from McDonald's. Yeah, he loves diet cokes and he loves peanut m and m's and he loves McDonald's and and he's like, and the thing is like he's cut weight before. Like when you hear him describe his diet, you would think he is a he

should be a fatter man. And then he says like, yeah, one time I went on a diet and I just like didn't e McDonald's and he lost like a hundred pounds. But then he was like, but he said it it like hindered his performance, so he decided to put the weight back on. I would imagine with the with your golfs, when you get used to very specific body shape that

you're working with. Yeah, there's the d Shambo is like this really famous golfer that's on the rise right now and he gained like seventy five pounds and now is better because of it. I mean, John Daly's whole thing was that he could hit the ball far and like being fat for him or being you know, curvy, whatever you wanna call. John Dailey was part of that recipe

for the Australian Open. Was so mad at him. This was sort of like a three strikes your out that in this article they said that he would never be playing the tournament ever again. All right, what's to what I was? I was? I knew John Daily had done stuff like this, so I was googling. I mean, he also quit the U s g A, the the entire um United States Golf Association, because they wouldn't let him have a golf car during senior tournaments. They're like, no,

you have to walk. These men they're one thousand years old and fought in World War Two. They're walking, so you have to walk. And he's like, well, then I quit golf. If I can't set my golf card, I quit altogether. So um, so he's left the game altogether. Now good for him, you know, like he can do anything he wants to play, played by your own rules. John Dailey, alright, great pick? Should I Okay? So my I feel like this guy could be three or one

for me. But I'm gonna say Ricky Williams, Yeah, yeah, I was. I was heavily considering him. Yeah, and more so so. Like the thing I remember, and this is like almost two decades ago, when they would talk about Ricky Williams when I was a kid. They said he, you know, he quit to smoke weed, and everyone was like and that was like their insult. And then this article into the sixteen came out where Ricky Williams said, yeah,

that's kind of true. Like he was he was, he led I think the league in rushing a couple of seasons, um, but then he tested positive for marijuana. Which again, if you're leading the league and rushing and you're smoking weed, you are incredible. Like if anything else, Yeah, it's like it hinders my Yeah, like if I was smoking a ton of weed, I'd probably terrible at sports. But he was the best, So let him keep smoking. We you

were so mean to him. It was really like Ricky Williams, I feel like this is an issue sometimes I have with the older generation of sports reporters. They'll be like he's an addict, or they'll frame someone as like a drug abuser. And are there people whose lives have like gone in shambles because of marijuana? Yes? Is it is it the least amount of any substance. Yes, I think so. And also that's not what happened to this person. He

was operating at the highest level. So to frame him as this villain in this addict and this selfish, like weird man with his because they were I mean, he was like the first player I remember that had dreads or had like long dreads, and even that was shipped on like they just think it's just it was kind of just ingrain and racism a little bit. It was like, per Okay, this black dude with dreads loves smoking weed,

and they're like, we got him. I think that was like a lot of like people in power, like this guy's going down. He can't be he can't be a role Model's like it's not his response. I know. It's like a classic Barkley things like this is a responsibility to be a role model for your kids. Like and then also too, it's like in the last few years with CT and all these injuries, it's like, we found

that marijuana is a great way to rehability. Well he he It since has come out that he suffered anxiety and social anxiety, and it's a huge proponent of medical marijuana and has done a lot to try and like raise the profile to where it is now where we see mass like uh, legalization, like Ricky Williams is a is a part of that and and things. Yeah, he's totally at the curb and turned out to be a

role model in a way that nobody expected. The media narrator around him was for sure racist and shitty, and looking back on that, like I revisited something I saw an interview with him somewhat recently, and it's just like what were we told when we were kids? Like what were we shown and what were we told about, like about weed and just any of that, Like the was it the Sports Illustrated or was it a ESPN magazine where it was like him an address on the cover

with Dicka like a break. They treated him so bad. He's smarter than but that was that was you know of that. And that's the thing is like so he I think he got suspended and fined and then he did he ended up just retiring and then he was he decided to study It's called I you a Your Vita,

the ancient Indian system of holistic medicine. So it's not like he retired and them was like just like smoking weed and like buying a bunch of like bonds, which right, so but he has every right to do and like also him, no, like he was villainized for smoking weed at a time that we now know the NFL knew about c t E and it was killing people. So it's like, you guys are fucking evil and he just likes to get high, like you're you are You're so off base on this. And plus weed was like barely

anything in the nineties. Yeah, like come on, that was very Yeah. I think now they really only test you if they're like pissed at you. I think it's sort of like they know um. But there was a player I think there. Yeah, there was a player who was kneeling last year and had like six random drug tests and he's like, Okay, I didn't come up six times. He's like, luckily I passed to them all. But if I did it, that's sucked up too. Yeah. I know,

that's that's that's insane. If I was in the NFL. Listen, let's just say I get that a thirty six year old, bald, five foot tall man Joe, I don't even think you could be a mascot. No, I wouldn't even qualify for that. I don't. I couldn't be like one of the yet, the local guy that like, where's a goofy hat and garbeering or whatever. Okay, let's take a quick break and then we'll be back with our second picks. And we are back. Megan, you thought you were going to bring

a speck. All right, let's get on our second pick. Joe, what do you got for us? Greatest quitter? Um, I'm gonna go with me. I'm I'm myself. I Uh, I think I've quit every single sport I've ever attempted to play because I'm not very big and strong, but I've quit football. I went to like an all boys football high school. Both went to an all boys school. While I always get along with a lot of former all

boys school kids because you're like emotionally stunted. No, we were just so we can fart anywhere we want, anywhere in the bathroom, anywhere. Alright, sorry, cut you off, go ahead, there's no there there is something that it does to your to your brand to go to an all boys high school. And uh, and it's a weird like unearned freedom. Uh.

That no one should have. But yeah, I I went to like a super football high school, like h like Friday Night Lights, state championship, always contending kind of high school. When I was a freshman year CE team, I believe they had like that many teams um and I quit because my back went out and it was like, you know, it was a I did have I had back issues. I was a bald fourteen year old classic freshman freshman.

Did you guys know that I had a cane for a stretch that seems in high school and this is like honestly before it was like I fell on my back as a little kid, and I had like a pinched nerve in my back, and you know, it's like trying to be this this is why you quit. It's like I don't I don't want to deal with any of this. I don't even know how you were allowed to play in the first place. Hearing all of this.

They make you at this school, They made you do one semester of sports, so you have to do one. Couldn't you have done like swimming or something that would be good for your back, Yeah, sure, definitely could. I don't know why football starts the earliest so I couldn't. I could get it out of the way that the fastest um quit that I've I quit baseball like numerous times, very bad at that. But baseball is like fine if

you quit, no one really notices. Baseball is the scariest sport to me in my opinion, that ball comes at you fast. Yeah. No, it's insane. Why do people do it? I don't know. I saw a girl in fourth grade break another girl's jaw and fast pitch softball. Yeah, I was the so and then they left the picture in and my dad was like, what the um, I just had a player have to leave in an ambulance. Can

you maybe warm up the bullpen somebody? Yeah, no, I would be I would definitely be the guy that would um that would throw into get hit on purpose and take a base. You know, I'm not a great runner, not great. Uh you know hand eye coordination. Spent a lot of time. Oh I threw I had to be hospitalized and during a softball game. Yeah as an adult man, I know it's probably like eighteen, um, but playing playing softball and my buddies like, uh, you know, work league.

He worked for the video store, and uh, I was in left field, first first play. It was the first pitch of the game. I think got hit directly to me. I threw the first base and my arm popped out of the socket on the throw to first base, and I had to quit that. I mean, thank got you quit or you'd be dead, you know, like that's why you are one of the greatest quitters. You saved your own life. Yeah, I I quit basketball. I was again like a C teamer basketball again, short, short, little chubby fella,

not not. I was the defensive specialist. You would say that was my role. But I very distinctly remember my first game. I'm gonna start and uh, this is like this is a big deal for me. It never happened, and we're doing warm ups and I got those sick ass hair away ants. I just zip off my tear aways and one of the snaps hits me in the eye and they don't let me. I can't see. Uh, I like hurt my eye on my first start. Um. So every single sport I've ever played, I have quit

and dramatic fashion. Uh mostly well yeah, every time due to injury, not even in game. Yeah. I had one time with an ambulance with this offball. One they took me away in an it's pretty Yeah, it was a pretty big I made a big scene. I made a big old scene. I'm impressed that we were able to get someone from your list on the podcast. I know this is a big get you. We have one of the great here. But that is like if there were if there were Marvel superhero movies about comedians, it would like,

that's your origin story. There'd be that scene where you you're trying to play like eight different sports and your the ambulance comes for each one, and then you get really into comedy. Take me away. Yeah, uh yeah, there's something funny there, I guess. Yeah. You're in a hospital bed and you see an infomercial from Monty Python. You're like, what's this A long oh commerce for comedy Time Life presents an eighteen DVD Boxer Python. You see an advertisement

for Kyle's Ceces comedy. Oh God, Yes, that's the you know what, that's the most upsetting, like celebrity lookalike thing I've gotten. Joe. We've been your friend for years. We do not think it was somebody gave me Kyle ce And and it's the name of who it is who said it won't won't be important to any of the listeners, but it's funny for you guys. But it was Dave Odds, Dave BG. And the thing is, if we didn't say Kyle Sees Comedy boot Camp, we would have to say

Dave Odds Comedy book Camp. That full Easter egg for any Chicago comedy people out there listening. All right, Megan, Okay, So my number two pick is boxer Oliver McCall ne Um. So he actually was the heavyweight champion of the world, knocked out Lennox Lewis us In and then they had a rematch in seven and at some point he just put his hands down and refused to box. Um. They thought maybe he was kidding. Here this is a quote

all read kidding, kidding, kidding. This is a quote that I'll read from the referee for the fight, whose name is Mills Lane. He said um. In the third round, he got in close and then seemed frustrated, and then he just backed off and put his arms down. I thought he was playing possum, but then I saw his lips start to quiver, and I thought, oh my God, is crying. He in fact was crying um. And then at some point he started to like try again, and they were like, no, dude, you seem not okay. So

they called the fight Lennox Lewis one. And then afterwards Oliver McCall did say, oh, yeah, I was just kidding. I totally was kidding. I just was playing possum and then was gonna come out and beat him um. And he did not ever address why he was crying though. In the boxing rotten it's like the Larry David SNL story, but for boxing. Yeah, really quit, Like, yes, you did show up to the fight again. Yeah, I know here

here I am. What's up. Let's do this. That's relatable, right that that's that that guy has a relatable story. I have someone punched me in the head, I'd for sure be crying. Yeah, I'd want that to stop as fast as possible. I think what they think happened was that he just wasn't able, Like he just felt like he was losing or something, so he just refused. This is also someone who was very much villainized for drug abuse. He was arrested and it ended up basically and his career.

But yeah, he he was arrested for I mean, like some of this, like possession of drug paraphernalia and Fort Lauderdale. It's like, well, of course, have you ever been to Fort Lauderdale? Like that's all you do. There's a Hooters. I got my nose pierced there, and I got I got alcohol poisoning. So it's like, of course my dog has drug paraphernalia. He's a heavyweight master. Yeah, let him have a damn pipe on him. Why would anyone care?

This is what? What year was this again? Nineties something so the year he quit and started crying in the rings in Vegas, but his last sort of legal issues seems to have been in two thousand and ten. I really want to see like video of this in him being like stop, knock it off. There's there should be more than in boxing, like ouch, like just evaluate the fuck dude. Major. There is like a kind of famous

photo of him crying. Yeah, I've seen that. I never wondered who it was, but I never knew the backstory. But that should be the crying Jordans mean, the crying McCall meme of a dude crying because an emotional breakdown. Wow. Okay, so it's from his Hall of Fame speech and he was crying out of like, um happiness. Okay, it's really strange. The Internet yet did strange things. So there are people that um like. This is a reporting from Boxing News

Online dot Net, one of my favorite websites. Um and they say that he suffered a mental breakdown during the match, which I yeah, oh okay, So he was in rehab and then he left rehab to do the fight. Okay, well come on now, see that's okay. I'm surprised he showed up. He didn't have to fight, of course. Not. No, I'm on his side. I really wild. It's just a it's I think we're only laughing because the visual of a giant beast of a man crying in boxing briefs

is is like visually interesting. But no, I I'm on his side. I like Oliver McCall and I say, go on with your drug paraphernalia, dog who cares? Yeah. No. I always judge an athlete, you know, in terms of being like the greatest or whatever, in terms of who's happiest, you know, like that that's been whatever. If somebody is like a super happy basketball player, they're the greatest. In my book, John Dailey seems like a shitty person, Oliver McCall,

good person. That's what I'm That's what I'm decided. Okay, all right, you want to give us two. So, in in classic me fashion, it's a Chicago Bowl, but maybe not one to celebrate. Did you guys all watch the last Dance? Yeah? So I watched it with you? Yeah, I'm sorry, Um, he did watch it with me, But I was actually surprised, and I just today was looking up more about it that um. When Jordan's had left

the Bulls and four, it was then Pippen's team. But Pippen was really upset about the new guy, Tony ku

coach um. And again they detailed this in the Last Dance that it was game three in the ninety four playoffs against the Knicks, and again Pippen, okay, here's your chance, this is your team, but he's he was kind of like sour about not getting paid and like this new guy coming in that within the last two seconds, they were like, all right, you're your time to shine, Scottie, and he was like, no, I'm just gonna set this

one out. And he set it out and then Tony ku Coach hit the game winner in Game three against the Knicks, but yeah, Scottie Pippen, who everyone is like, he's the reason why Jordan won quit in game three of the Eastern I think it's the Eastern semi playoffs on the Bulls And so yeah, now, so when that story was on the Last Dance, I had never heard it because I blocked out almost all m was that

a commonly known no again? I think it was the lack of social media kind of wasn't spotlighting some of these weird things that were not weird things, but like it was no one, it's not a fun stir to report that Pippen quit, you know, And I'm sure, yeah, like the the hero of the team and likable dude,

uh did something that was like selfish. Yeah, it was like motivated by like because it wasn't It wasn't the story that like like Phil Jackson was writing up the play and he's like, we're gonna give Tony the last shot and he's like, all right, well on that plan. Yeah, Like oh okay, so yeah, I forget about that detail. Yeah,

you're totally right. It's just like it's a little bit of his u He's like, oh, Jordan's gone, I should be the one shooting that well, and Scotty seemed like deeply remorseful and regretful in the last Dance, and they're also seemed to be like players former teammates that we're like, I'm still pissed, like they still are, Like that was

sucked up. Yeah, that that definitely. I mean, like I don't know, watching that documentary was a like a whole new all that stuff, all the information and within was like new to me. Like the idea of of Scottie being underpaid for his entire career basically tricked up. They

tricked him into signing that deal kind of. I mean maybe he didn't know he was that good, but yeah, it was like I kind of get why he quit a couple of times because there was like another time too, but they totally tricked him to sign a long term deal and for what the nineties bulls were, Yeah, he severely underpaid. No, there's that one part where they're just like number two and points, assists, rebounds and then like what are you crazy? Yeah, I know that. Of course

Scotty man, he should get paid so much money. But he did get to have sex with Madonna and Jordan didn't. So that is and it is rumored that he has a way wait wait, wait, way bigger penis. So it's like, I don't know, is that that's in a lot of places. That's pretty good current. Wait, do you think Jordan is as good as he is because he has a small penis? No, there's no way that Jordan has a small penis. I think he has. I think there's no way. I think he probably has a hefty hog. But I think I

think Scotty's just got the bigger hog. Yeah. No, I want to know every hog suze, absolutely for the Bulls of that era. I want to know for every championship Bulls team. Let's see the hogs. You can come back and we'll do greatest sports hogs I've seen. I mean, I've been in some locker rooms, um, some baseball locker rooms, and I've seen some famous Hawks, famous hogs, famous hogs. I've seen some wild hogs. All Right, before we go any further, let's take a break and we'll be back

with our number one picks. And we are back Joe. How this works? Um, since you are guests, you'll be the big finale. So Megan and I will pick our number one picks. Maybe some honorable mentions. So, Megan, why don't you um okay, yeah, okay, I see you typing and I'm like, this is the pick I wanted to do. Oh sorry, okay. So my one honorable mention is Spice Adams, who is like one of my favorite sports comedy people like he meets. He's a former Bears player, and he

threw his own retirement at a white castle. Um, you know a lot of times people retired, it's a big deal. Spice. It was like, I don't really think I'm gonna get the numbers I thought I was going to. So he just staged his own retirement at a white castle that was fully operational and there were other patrons there. Didn't rent it out, just posted up there and said, today's

the day I hang up the cleats. That My number one though, is a former Cults player who became famous in my heart when I saw him as a Dolphins player on Hard Knocks. He was traded from the Dolphins to the Colts on that season of Hard Knocks and told the coach he needed his grandmother on the phone um to be able to sort of let the transactions sink in. And he just kept saying, I need to call my grandmother and I and he's like, no, I need my grandmother on the phone right house. I'm sure

people have asked, like for their agents. Um, not my Vonte Davis baby, he said, give me my grandmother. And he famously quit the Bills and the NFL during halftime week two of a game. Vante Davis is the brother of Vernon Davis, um and Vonte Davis in his own right, was a pro bowler with the Colts and then got not trade. They just cut up that he was released. The Bills picked him up, and he said that he he was like a healthy scratch. Week one. Week two,

he was starting. He had a a tackle that forced a fourth down in the first half, like he was playing pretty well, and he said he just got into the locker room and he was like, something doesn't feel right. I don't want to do this anymore. And he went up to his defensive coordinator and said I quit. And they were so confused by what was happening that the chaplain went with him, like they thought like that. He just kept telling the chaplain like, no, I quit, I'm

not I'm not coming back. He texted his wife, I quit and she was like what is happening, and then that's exactly what he did. I mean, I follow him on Instagram. I did then, I'd still do to this day. He's been having the best time. He's still in amazing shape, he's still at his playing weight, he goes on vacations. His wife's name is Megan. They seemed to have a beautiful life, and he got ripped to shreds. Like this was someone that that teammate, former teammate. They were like,

this is so fucked up. How could you do? He was like a punchline on all of the late night shows that week. And Vonte Davis is like a sweet person. I think he has like a really good soul, and he's just someone who's very in tune with what he needs and I think it's probably sensitive. And he just didn't want to play anymore. And like, listen, football you can die. I mean, that is a real thing that

has happened. It's definitely a real thing that you are cutting down on your life expectancy with each time you step out there. And he just he didn't want to do it anymore. And I think it's like kind of inspirational to like know yourself and then go no, I'm good right now, thank you, goodbye Bills. I think that quitting football is like the reward, like that's I'm done. I I I escaped without you know, getting brain damage or whatever the hell happens to your body by playing football.

And it's like, if you're on the team that sucks, what are you crazy? If you're on a shitty baseball team, you're you kind of you just turn into it's a hangout every day hanging out. But if you're on a shitty football team, what are you doing? Just get out of there, quit or get traded whatever. I don't know how the Jets still have, Like I think about Frank Gore. I'm like, this is the very end of your career. You're clearly not going to get to and they're like, no,

he's here every day, the last one to leave. I'm like, that's the most a mental illness at that point. Yeah, I know he's a workaholic in some way that you're just like, I can't relate to whatever that We talked about a lot about like late night talk show hosts and they're all like scared to retire because, like Johnny Carson said, the second that he quit was the day he felt like he died. And I think a lot

of these players are just like hypnotized. Well, quitting football is different to where it's like if you well, I mean, if you quit football, it is like it is this thing you've been doing since you were a kid, and it's been been the only thing you've been doing since you were a kid, you know what I mean. It's like my whole life has been just training and then like then what if you're lucky, you get to be like I'm a car dealership guy or your own restaurants

or whatever. Uh And otherwise it's like I just kind of sit around now. I don't know. It's like your life can look really grim after football if you don't have like something going on, if you have like a game plan. Vante doesn't have anything going on, and he

had no plan to do this. I mean I was reading an article that was like a year after he quit, and his like morning routine the day that they were interviewing him was that he was gonna work out and then do some chores, and I just thought that was so cute, Like that's what I do, you know, Like if I wake up, I don't have to work tomorrow, I'm gonna work out and do some chores. Like that's

classic stuff. Good for him. I'm like knowing yourself to know that that you're like, I'm out of here and I know what people will say, and I know that I'm letting I mean, I don't even know if it's like letting people down. You know, he was a new guy in the team anyway, right, Like, I don't know what the chemistry is like there. I was working at the NFL. I was at the in the building when this happened, and everyone was like, this is the weirdest

story we've ever seen. There were definitely people, especially like the former players, that were like how could he do this? And I like love Vonte enough that I was like, this is what Vonte wanted, Like, you can't this is not this is like a sweet, like very just sweet little soul that like, yeah, you you may want to frame him as a villain, that's not what this is gonna be. Like, you gotta just let Vonte be Vonte.

His brother said he was heartbroken. I mean, Vernon, come on now, So it's yeah, no, it's it's a big deal for people that I don't I don't know like for me, I'm was just going to be on the side of the player no matter what. Yeah, you know, it's like it's your choice, do whatever the hell you want. Like you know, with Andrew Luck, I was just like, go for it, dude, get out of here. Don't do that. What you gotta do. This is this is good for you, man.

I mean, that's still probably a touchy subject. It's not it was gonna be one of my picks. Well, let's let's just talk about a little bit. Great great segue. Well, so I was gonna say honorable mentions. Jordan's a couple of different circumstances, but I love that he quit twice, retired or whatever. And then Roberto Duran boxer, who I guess like what made his famous was he said no moss, Like in the fifth round he was like no more

because he just kept getting it punched. Um. But I think it was like part two of that fight and

he just showed up out of shape. He said. So I didn't know if Andrew Luck, but I think, yeah, and talking about this, Andrew Lucky is my number one pick for greatest quitter because again I totally agree, like as a Colts fan and what was like their big This flaw over those years was that he's not a great old line, right, he was not protected and he was constantly being hit running and and like ruptured his spleen. I mean, he had traumatic injuries that were caused from

humans banging into him with helpmets. Yeah, and again short, like a short lived career. And what we know about Andrew Luck is like just the nicest, sweetest man. For him that many times it's like, of course he's like calling it quits. Of course, like, yeah, maybe stick around for a couple more years, but the same ship's gonna happen, Like he like, I don't even care, Like if you ever was like I want to come back and be like I don't even think you should. Andrew. No, if

he came back, I'd be like what the um? But you know he was. He was booed. It was during a preseason game when the news came out, and so people got like alert on their phone that we're at the game and started booing him. And I, you know, I love the cults more than maybe any person on earth, which is not an awesome sentence to say, but I do. And so I was, yeah, it's like it hit me like a gut punch, and then I also, as like just a human beings, started to think of the things

we're saying. I think the only thing that Colts fans can be upset about is the timeline, like it was ten days before the season started or something insane, where it's like, oh, I guess personally, I would just like to know, like when did he start feeling that way? What was the conversation? But guess what, I'm not privy

to that because it's not my fucking business. You know, like, it is a human, it is a human's health and safety, and we don't necessarily know the conversations that happened between the organization and him, and if there was like if there were moves on the old line that he was promised we're going to be made and then they weren't. I don't. I don't know what led him to that decision.

But that's the only thing that I've ever been like, Yeah, you can be like I don't like the timing of this, but you can't be mad at a person for picking their health over being on this team. That's Moven good. Yeah, no, it was it was the right move, and man, I don't know. But did the Colts improved the offensive line like they did almost immediately after? Yes, Like it was pretty quick, right, yeah, because um, so this wasn't last year, this was two years ago. And yeah we got Quentin Nelson.

I mean, now we're supposedly have the best old line in the league. Except for yesterday they were the biggest piece of shirt. Um, but yes they did. And that's probably a credit to all the ship Andrew had to put up with. Yeah, I bet, I'm yeah, I could talk about like what's going on with the Colts with you for a while. Actually it's like it's I'm so curious about all right, what's the deal with with Philip

Rivers and how does what's the consensus of fans? You know? Right? Well, I mean and and and I wonder because then Jacobi bur said they were like, okay, this is gonna be our starter. Who was the backup? Came in and played really, really well. I think far exceeded people's expectations. And you almost have to wonder, like, oh, did that give Luck peace at making that decision? Like he was like, Okay, Burssette was Brady's backup. He's been here a few years

he's good. I think Jacoby Brissette is probably one of the best backups. I think he could be a starter. And and you have to be like that must have made him be like, Okay, I can leave and I'm not leaving them with you know, a rookie who, Yeah, a total disaster of a person. So I think it's a testament to Jacoby. I just love Jacoby a lot. Who doesn't. Yeah, he's great. Um, all right, Joe, So bring us home here with your number one pick for

greatest sports quitter. Okay, this is like it's maybe maybe bending the rules, but I love it. It combines all the stuff that I want in this. It's a fat athlete, a fat baseball player. It is high stakes. Is high stakes as it can possibly be. This is my number

on Twitter. Is Babe Ruth. The nineteen six World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals and it's game Game seven, end of the Yeah, two outs in the ninth and Babe Ruth is on first base and attempts to steal second base and then gets thrown up by about ten

ft just like not even close. And the series Yankees lose. Yeah, they could have had another World Series and he just like ran the second base, just like whatever, you know, like like I don't know what even what you're thinking in in a in a moment like that, other than like I'm going to leave because I don't care. I don't care. I would rather be just like downing beers

and Polish sausages. I'm out. Let's wrap up this game, treating it like it's, you know, the middle of July, kind of like who gives a ship game at the World Series? Love it, love it. I love what it says about the man. I love what it says about the sport. I love of everything about it. It's the It's maybe my favorite sports thing that has ever happened. It's probably yeah, just doing that. He's yeah, that's what

it's like, the biggest athlete ever. And like when I say Jordan quit, but he had like a formal announcement. But Babe Ruth, for as like iconic as he has to go, Yeah, I'm good, it's gonna wrap up this season. Totally my team too. Yeah no, yeah, no. Everybody's recounting on you. You're you're goddamn Babe Ruth. And when you and you think about it in the context of him I'm like, was he hung over? Was he drunk? Did he have to pee? Like he truly may have been,

like I gotta take a ship. We gotta get out of here, I gotta I gotta take a ship. Guys, did he like not know that the outside on the outs there? The hell? He doesn't even strike me as a base stealer, Like has he ever even stolen a basement? Like he was a stovepipe of a man. No, there's I don't know what the stats are, but if you there's no way he's given us even close to good numbers for his If I'd be shocked if he had like two stolen bases career, like he's a big fella,

he's not, And also like that's not his game at all. Crazy, No, no, yeah, that's my favorite thing that's ever happened in sports, Just giving up on on your whole team, on the whole season, the entire being. Any I mean, with how out he could have he was, he could have maybe gone back to first, like he wasn't even that far off for space. The yeah, the account of it says he got thrown

up by about ten feet unbelievable, unreal, how far? Yeah, if you were to ask me the feat between first and second base, I probably would have guessed around ten feet. So yeah, that's that's my guy. That's my that's my number one dude. And he still managed to have a candy bar named after him. Good. It's one of the butter can bars, rips apart my mouth, but very delicious and worth it. I'll never quit on a Baby Ruth candy bar. No, absolutely love the guy loves candy all right, Joe, Well,

thank you so much for doing this. Um, Where can people find you? And what are some projects you'd like to plug? I do a Patreon where I will mail jokes to your house instead of I should instead of using Twitter for jokes. I still use Twitter for jokes a little bit, but like go to patreon, dot com, slash Joe McAdam or Twitter. I'm at at Joe McAdam. They are so good. But I do a sketch comedy things called but with Chris Stevens. So funny. But it's

so funny. The one I was, Um, I mean, as people know because people started replying to my tweets that listen to the podcast that I eat a lot of gummies. Um and but I love eating gummies and reading your Patreon your analog tweets as you call them. And one of my favorite recently it was just so short. It was just like you should be able to eat lotion. I don't know why. It was like the perfect thing to hit them. That's the it's the fun way to

do it. Great. It's nice to get mail too. Now that the joy has unsuccessfully dismantled the USPS, we can have fun again. Yeah, we can have fun in the mail again. And this isn't that what we've been trying to do. Just have some pen pals, that's all. Yeah, so do that. It'll be fun. You'll you'll really enjoy getting a piece of mail. Awesome. Yeah, I'll link to that in Megan, Where can people find you? Oh? Boy, c J's mom just sent a picture of white Castle sliders.

That's that's just the type of thing going on in the Tiladano family thread. We like to snack eighteen cheeseburger sliders from white Castle. Um. You can find me at Megan Gailey at better Megan Gaily. I've been getting some questions about the bubble machine. It will be coming back once basket ball is back, and that's how because I prefer basketball. I just needed more than the NFL and college football that that doesn't that doesn't stir my soul the way it used to, and at one point basketball

was doing it right. Um, So when basketball is back, the bubble machine will be back, baby, and you can find me it. As c J toldon On Everything That Has Been another episode of the Greatest. Great subscribe, Have a good Thanksgiving and be safe out there, stay home if you can, and wear a mask. The Greatest is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.