This is pod Popular Podcast for the People, The Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love.
Debate, de Great Love Debate.
It's a great love to base.
Hi again, everyone's Brian how We welcome to the Great Love Debate, the world's number one dating and relationship podcast.
It's twenty fifteen. I'm back here in the very fine.
Studios of Pod Popular Podcasts for the People. I am at the one in Scottsdale, Arizona. It is not quite the full Scott's Dazzle going on here yet, but it is close. And if that is a hint, I know. We're supposed to keep our podcast evergreen be four times a year we do sort of time and season specific episodes where we put out a APB on the socials and the interwebs asking you guys to send emails, messages, letters, whatever that are related to the particular season we are tackling.
We do our holiday mail bag, we do our Spring Fling mail bag, we do our Summer Love.
And mail bag.
And the one that gets a little bit of the short shrift, which always does, is our Autumn one, our fall in Love mailbag. And if you have listened to me on this podcast before, you know that. I am very, very pro Autumn. I think it has a bad publicist. I think spring is overrated. There's no such thing as spring in most cities. It goes from pouring rain to boiling hot. Spring has a really good publicist, and people fall in love with rebirth and flowers, and February sucks most places.
So that's it.
Fall is the time. Fall is the best season of the year. I couldn't take this on myself, so I have a full house in here today. I don't know the last time I've had three people who are in here who are going to help me do this. First of all, producer extraordinaire. She's the director of operations here at pod popular podcast for the people.
Megan, how are you hello your podcast debut?
Oh?
Yes, okay, are you nervous?
Nop?
Have you had a conversation before?
What's the definition of conversation?
You'll be fine?
And I brought in two heavy hitters. One you've heard him on this podcast many times, but not in a while. He is the host of the very very popular Secrets of a Sugar Daddy podcast, which I actually just guessed on.
It's pretty good.
Marcus, welcome back, Thank you, Yeah, we had a great episode. You guys need to catch Brian and Megan. You talk a lot when we're here, so I have no doubt you'll have plenty to say.
Don't try and lure her into your sugar world. Somebody who has been he's making his debut here. He is apparently a knee deep? Is that the term in the sugar world? Jay? How are you good?
Good to meet you guys.
I asked you Argo, are you a sugar daddy? And your answer said, oh yeah, oh yeah, full on, full on?
When did that start?
Oh, let's see, it's gott gradually more serious. I think the more time I've spent in Phoenix, so and a lot of it thinks.
It's like a buff right, That's what I call it. It is a buffet.
What is the advantage of being a sugar daddy here? No, the old Charlie Sheen line, you're not paying them for sex, You're paying them to leave.
They don't seem to believe.
But I think just the fact that the city has just millions of people, You're just gonna have an environment where you're gonna have more possibilities and more chances of finding somebody that is attracted to you and you're attracted to them. If you're coming from a small place, a small town is very very challenging just because there are n't even single people around. Whereas you go to a big city like here in New York Chicago, it just enables.
You to and where are you from?
Originally I lived in California for about like fifteen twenty years, and then before that I was in New York, and now I'm in Colorado.
A little California's filled with big cities.
Yeah, surprisingly, I was in this smaller town along the coast, and because the town was kind of like a sleepy town. It's a beautiful place, but there's not many single people.
It was very challenging and it kind of affected my psychology and kind of thinking that because I wasn't able to find what I was looking for, I just thought that maybe like I didn't have as much to offer as a result, But it was more indicative of the location I was in, Okay, and then obviously having been in New York, having been in Phoenix, some of the bigger places.
The American Express black card goes farther here exactly. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I hate Satar. I like to say it Scottsdale and the valley here it's ground zero for the sugar sugar world.
We feel it is after traveling to a lot of different cities. Jay has been to all over the world, but the talent walking around this area is second to none.
It is. I don't know why that is, but it is. Anyway, do you guys understand how we're doing this here? We've got six letters, We've we've wheedled whittled it down, three from the men, three from the boys, and you guys are going to give your opinion on some fairly split down the middle things. I don't know how I feel. I did a sneak peak on these, and I haven't really done that before, but I looked because I'm like, ooh, I don't know how I feel about a lot of them.
You guys ready, let's do it all right. The first one is from Kayla via our Facebook page. Brian lots of buzz recently about the controversy surrounding having a Saturday in the Fall wedding because of the conflict for a lot of guys, and to be fair, women too, who want to watch college football at exactly that same time. I think if your actual alma mater isn't playing during the ceremony or reception, it isn't a big deal.
But I am torn.
I can see both sides thoughts, And this is a thing now that men people are freaking out because during the reception there's a TV in the other room and all of the people are watching college football, and a lot of people are criticizing the couple or specifically the bride for choosing a date that on a Saturday. In a lot of the country, people are preoccupied. Are you aware of this?
I am aware of this because this happened to be in Chicago. I was just recently there and we flew there on a Thursday night, and I'm a big Dallas Cowboys fan. Here i am with my girl and I'm trying to sneak peaks on my phone of the Dallas game because it was the first one of the season and it was really close and it was a good game. So I'm just I'm a little distracted. And she noticed and definitely made some comments about it, so that that can be an sure though.
So that let's just say so this the NFL. That's an NFL thing.
NFL schedule comes out in May, You're only talking, you know, four months, so that's lead time on a wedding. If you're planning a wedding a year or so in advance, you are seeing that fall calendar. And if you went to you know, University Georgia, Ohio State, any of these schools, you know that there's probably something there that a good portion of your wedding party or guests are gonna be curious. I'm not a big college football guy, so it doesn't
really affect me. But I I've been at weddings where nobody's on the dance floor because it's the fourth court.
Megan, I, I don't. I don't think it should be a problem. The way I see. It's like there's so many games. And this is coming from a college girly shout out to my Notre Dame. For sure, I've never missed a game, But when it's your friend, you're at a wedding, it's one time, well one Saturday out of the whole year, and you literally don't don't RSVP to the next wedding.
Well, I agree with you on that, but when you say and I agree, I'm like, you're at the wedding whatever, but it's the most special day of hopefully both of their lives, and you should be respectful of that. But when you put out there it's just one game. Well, in a college football season, just one game can wreck
or make a season. So you know, you better, you better stay away from the Like if you went to Michigan and you're scheduling your wedding as you see Thanksgiving weekend Michigan Ohio State around on the same day as the Michigan Ohio State game, and half of your your party went to that school, it's a fuck up and you do have to steer clear of that landmine, regardless of how you feel it about it.
Right, yeah, or you just marry somebody that's not into sports.
What the guests are, Oh, the guest, that's that's the problem.
That is true.
You know, I know, I know a girl from from Cleveland.
She didn't realize how big a fan of Ohio State her husband was until their wedding day. Until they're literally getting married that day and the game is on in the other room and.
He left the head table to go watch the game.
She had no idea.
You'll already know you know those things before like you're your partner again. If you're getting married one year, you definitely watched to watch the Ohio game last Like you're you're going to understand your partner, And I really hope you would understand if you knew what game your partner's like to watch before you got married.
There's a chance, though, so let's break that down. I agree with you normally, but let's just say you're a fan of of Georgia Tech football. Most years, Georgia Tech is not great, they're they're okay. And so let's just say you've dated your partner for two years. First year, you don't really notice how big a fan they are because they're three.
And nine and nobody cares.
But then suddenly during your wedding year, this is their bull season. They're going all out, and then suddenly it matters to them. There's a lot of fickle fandom that you are really, you know, trying to not hit a bullseye on that, right.
I just think you need to be understanding and realizing so too. But that is what you've done when you schedule something during the false.
I agree, but you also can't be that upset if the guests are a little preoccupied now.
Right now, something I would do is reception just because the wedding. And sometimes a lot of these are the venues. Like I have a lot of friends that are getting married over Thanksgiving weekend because literally it's the one we can no one does, it's cheaper, that's the only one they could get. But you could move the venue. You're like, reception, sports bar, right, a big deal? Why are we not in? It's a party drinking, Let's watch the game. Like if
that's I disagree. If I am the bride after party, watching the game.
After party is different. That's usually later. If I'm the bride and people are watching the game versus it's time to cut the cake, it's time to throw the bouquet, it's time to dance, and they're not paying attention to me, I'm probably getting divorced, Like I want that spotlight to be on me.
DVR, I don't know. And then like do the reception after where you're like, yeah, we're watching, but unfortunately it's just one day, one game. It's going to it will go on.
Okay, Well I can offer my opinions because I've had a wedding that I mean, there wasn't a college game on. But the sentiment that I got was that the wedding was mostly for her and her family. And I was literally told to stand on some corner to like just walk in when I'm ready, Whereas like she had an entourage of like bride maids party.
And I was exciting there by myself.
And not to say that it's uh, you know, it didn't mean anything to me, But I feel like the wedding for the most.
Part, is for the woman.
Like her day.
It was her day.
It was her to be beautiful, it was her to be the the center of attention. It was her family and friends.
They were there.
I mean I had my friends there too, But for the most part, I felt like it was something very special for the woman. It's something that women plan for literally since they were a childhood.
Women dream of their wedding day.
The man dreams of his wedding, the marriage, the marriage exactly that men are fundamentally more romantic on that the women a lot of times look at the wedding days the destination.
He looks at that as the beginning.
So props the guys on that now now that you're a sugar daddy, is wedding off the table for you, his marriage still the possibility.
You're like, I'm not going back.
It would have to be a person pretty special to get you out of this. Well, I mean, i came out of my divorce at about thirty five percent of what I have now, and I'm on good terms with my ex, Like I'm giving her a el's not alone for her house like today, So I don't have any animosity towards her. I mean, if anything else, I want to keep helping her to a certain level. And we're
staying pretty civil and friends and whatever. But the cost of just extracting yourself from a marriage is so great that it's it is like I'm sure I've heard this many times, is that the rebuilding, it is an incredible process for a man just his idea of it's just his identity, his and then literally like you become dependents of the person for so many facets of your life and you don't.
Even know how to pay a freaking bill.
Yeah, so that even took like a while to figure out. And not to say that I wouldn't really want to have a person that I can rely on and have a partner, but I've now seen the cost associated with the divorce.
Part, so choose wisely, choose very nicely.
The cost is then.
It was eighty twenty split for me and she got eighty percent. I got twenty.
That sounds about it.
I see. I've never been married, so I'm still hopeful. I'm like the happily ever after it still exists, and I believe in all that. But all the divorced people are like, fuck.
That, all right.
Next one, this is from Michael in Temecula. I started dating this amazing woman earlier this year. We are both divorced, each have two kids, love the same activities and travel destinations.
All is great.
We recently had our first big fight and it's not over yet. It's about Halloween. Not only do I not usually celebrate and probably haven't worn a costume since my twenties, she is adamant that we do it together, a week of parties, matching and complementing costumes. It's a really big deal to her. I adore her, and normally I would go along with whatever she liked, no big deal. But this is such a big deal to her that it's alarming.
She's treating this like Marty Grau, where every night for a week is a parade and she has like four or five different costumes in mind help.
I know so many women that are just like this, I really do. I've met them now indebted them.
I am somebody and people who listen to this podcast, no, I feel this way. I'm somebody who doesn't do Halloween.
I don't.
That being said, I'm very pro Halloween because the day of the year that the most people are the most confident in America is Halloween. Halloween is about being liberated to be anything you want to be without fear of judgment. I think that's good. I think that costume confidence is a wonder thing to have. That being said, like, I'm pretty confident. I don't like give a shit, but I have never been really in a relationship where she's like, I'm share you're gonna be Sonny, and I'm like, what.
I actually like when the woman chooses my outfit. It just helps solve that problem because now I'm not trying to figure the w Don't you feel like a prop Well you know what, Grandon Barrett, just get past it. It just is what it is.
Have you ever done every like? Because that is a thing. Now depending on when Halloween falls, if it falls, on a Wednesday, you have the actual Halloween, and then you have the Saturday before and you have it. There is a lot of multiple cosplay. Culture is a really.
Big two weekends. Last year it was two weekends. This year it's another like two weekends of just playing, like all my friends are planning back, you know, the weekend before, the weekend after. Because even though a Saturday I think is like technically the first like we're still doing a Halloween party, going to a Halloween event. So it's like it's a huge thing. The amount of this woman loves Halloween. It made me really debate which is worse, the Halloween adult or a Disney adult.
I think that was Disney adults are talking about.
Decorating and going places. I'm like, oh, I thought they're going to meet.
There's a lot of couples dressing up at Disney World.
I've seen that.
That being said, where do you stand on this? If she's like there should be a compromise here, like we do one night, I'll do one, But it doesn't sound like that's okay with her.
I feel like the compromise comes down to two words. Floody costume. We especially here in scot I was like, you're telling me that I can't get a sexy nurse Jackie astume. You can be Hannibal lector if you want. And who says that a few drinks after the party doesn't lead to some fun role play afterwards. Like, I think this is a win win for both if you
strategize properly, you know, give and take. I need you to go to this party and act like a whatever animal or whatever thing it is, and then you can come back and do that again.
I know, I don't think this is Megan's first thoughts on.
Oh, I know she had a philosophy, sugar Jay, What do you think?
I had one girlfriend that she was willy into costumes and she made this elaborate Jack Sparrow costume from me. Oh cool, and she like could make up on me and she like did all like it was incredible, and I was like a prop because she was the Mermaid.
I went to a Halloween party once and I wasn't in much of a costume. It's like fifteen years ago, and I met this girl and she was like the hottest Cruela Deville, Like she was gorgeous, and I met her, I talked to her, got her number asked her out, went to get her on a date Thursday, and I'm like, what happened to the wig? What happened? Like she didn't look anything like that? And I'm like, can we go back to costume Cruela du Well? Like like she was so hot at the Halloween party And I'm like, h
she should wear that all the time. Maybe tells more about me. But I think you're right. I think you know. I asked this girl last year, like what are you gonna be for Halloween?
She goes a cop? I go what kind of cop? She goes a hot cop.
I'm like, uh, sorry, I didn't that was the thing. But your answer is right, Like I think Megan wrong here, I wait till the end.
I'm probably the person that picks the night before, maybe even the day of, and people are like, what do you Ho's like, I don't know, slutty something like, it's just like there's always something in the closet.
Well, don't we don't discourage that.
The business model of the of the Halloween the pop up stores is a very smart that's like a billion dollar business. They just look for vacant real estate.
Sen there's already one near my house.
Yeah, yeah, what are that's called spirits? Yeah, spirits. Yeah, he's gonna sign leases. He's like, we're gonna be a business for six weeks. It's like the Christmas treat thing.
I actually knew a couple who ran one of those, and yeah, they'd make a year's salary in thirty days.
I was just about to say, that's like a lot of these. It's big for these big strip malls, Like they make a year's worth of salary, and like what it would cost to have like a normal store in there. That rent. They pay that rent for three months, so it's like there. People love it. Like the strip mall owners they love having those in there because then they have that security because then they don't have to worry for nine more months, like when are we going to get the next big store?
In costume culture has become a big thing with a lot of people looking to which which I do. Like, I mean, if you're introverted and you want to be a slutty nun or refrigerator, nobody's going to judge you, and it's a way to sort of put this mask on for the world. You know. I always say this, like try and do that. The other three hundred and sixty four days of the year. Like wear a color that you would normally wear, where an access you wouldn't wear.
It's going to help you your dating confidence. But I am a fan of the philosophy of Halloween. I just I don't need it, so all right. Next one, this is from MK via our Instagram. I love fall fashion. It's the cutest. I can do so much with sweaters and scarves and boots and all kinds of accessories. This isn't about me, well a little about me, because I look fantastic during the season. My issue is the guys.
Is a hoodie the only option? What happened to guys wearing sweaters or blazers or something that makes them match? My sharp This is the most fun fashion. I feel like every time the guys I am with just look like duds and it brings down my mood.
Step it up fellas well.
Bill Belichick is our.
War Uckerberg or whatever. Like, Yeah, hoodies, they're comfortable, they're functional. I get she's right though, like.
Old dogs can learn new fashion lines.
I think so. Like when I was younger, like I did throw on like more corduroy blazer or sweater stuff.
I don't think I do that at all.
I have more a closet full of sweaters I haven't touched in you.
I haven't either. It's really full time sweatshirts and hoodies like that is it.
But I have more hoodies now that you know. It's just different thicknesses for different seasons. I've got so many hoodies in my closet now, it's unreal.
I agree. But fall fashion, you're a girl, it's fun, right. You don't really have it here too much in Scottsdale, Arizona because it's still pretty warm.
Oh yeah, no, I moved here because I like the warm weather. Like when the winter time for me as a girl, I swear I look like the Michelin Man because you're just like layers and layers of tights under your pants and jackets and sweating just to like not freeze to that's winter though.
But is there a fault where you're from Idaho? Yeah, okay, there's fall, there's leaves changing.
Where I'm from, it's boots, jeans, jacket and a hoodie, so I definitely get that. I feel like this also falls into like the first question we were talking about. You know, it's like how important something is. I'm like, you should really know this bill or your partner like beforehand, or like you're going to pick someone, like let's say you meet them spring. They're going a man that has a good spring wardrobe. If he dresses well in the spring, you guys go out and he has some nice day
club clothes. In the summer, Oh, you're usually going.
To have a good So it's like you think you can take their fashion temperature all year, und it is what it is. They're not suddenly falling off the fashion.
I don't think they're getting dumpy, Like you're either a metrosexual or you're not. Like, so it's like you're going to pick them in like if that is important to you, pick a man that that you know is already implicating that.
Sugar Jay, Well, I was thinking, unless you're a college girl dating a college guy, you know, if you're dating somebody older, there's really no excuse to not dress well. Yeah, I mean it doesn't really cost very much. You know, you get like a couple of Hugo Boss shirts for like a couple one hundred dollars or I mean it just kind of raises your your stature, how people see you from a first initial look.
It's like three points.
So I don't really see a reason why people can't just like, you know, up up the game in the very easy way. I mean, I can't make myself taller.
Right, So that's true.
Dress like an easy one.
That's a good point. I was gonna be like, MP, MK, you're the picture, he's the frame. But I see your point, Like, if it matters to her and you and you say it once, that's the issue.
MK.
If you're with this guy, don't say, oh my god, you're gonna wear the hoodie again, Say I bet you would look really sharp in the Casumere sweater. If you say that sort of positively reinforced there's a path here that said this. This is kind of a.
One man mini clothes. Or you're going shopping and you have a boyfriend and you're like, oh, I was out here, I bought you know, I brought this for you. It's like I picked this up. I know it's your side, Like you just better starts subliminally integrating their their wardrobe and then you realize we're wearing everything you bought for them.
Well, yeah, when the girls like you would look so good in this, I bought these for you. It's it's better than Christmas, it's better than Birthday. It's oh yeah.
Numerous times my sugar baby is like, hey, I got you this from mis warehouse, so it's gonna look perfect with the dress I'm wearing tonight.
Yeah, but she paid for it with your money, so.
Exactly, well, she does have my car.
Okay, there you go, so a little bit less of a gesture.
All right, we are taking on the Fall into Love mail bags. I'm here with Megan Jay Marcus.
We got to take a quick break because we got to pay for Cashumer sweaters around here.
We'll be back right after this, and we are back all right. The next one is from Ben from Old Sabrook, Connecticut. Old Sabrook is very nice.
I am forty five and divorced, but my ex wife and I had kids in our early twenties, so they are all college and beyond.
Now.
I'm currently seeing a great girl. She's a few years older than me, but her kids are significantly younger. They are eight, ten, and thirteen. That's not the issue. I've met the kids a couple of times and I love watching her as a mom. The issue is their schedule. One is in dance, one is in volleyball. One thinks he's gonna be pro soccer player, even though I have
seen him play and he actually kind of sucks. Anyway, they are back to school now, and every single weekend hour is devoted to her running them to games and rehearsals and practices and worst of all, tournaments. She has shared. She has shared custody with her ex, but there are only two of them and three kids, so they still have to share duties on the weekend. I'm never going to get to see her except for maybe an evening here and there, but she is always exhausted from driving
around or three hours away to tournament. I'm trying to be understanding, but I am a parent and it never used to be like this. I am so pro been on this when I was a kid, When you were kid, we didn't have to go weekend long like volleyball tournaments in Vegas.
We played the schools in our county.
Yeah, when did this change? And why did this change? Other than parents want to hook up on the road.
Yeah, that's a good question. I we just played local towns, yeah, communities around us. So in baseball, and what is we weren't traveling.
Yeah, and I understand that.
You know, during COVID here in Scottsdale, all the California school you know, things were shut down. They were all out here for tournaments. I've seen this where you have to the parents are all secretly hoping their kids lose the game on Saturday so they don't have to stay till Sunday. And you are paying for hotels and whites is so prohibibly expensive.
I don't know who's in favor of this.
You got one hundred high schools within twenty miles of you play them. Yeah.
I run Airbnbs and I constantly get parents in for tournament tournaments.
Yeah.
And and the way this affects Ben is he's right. It didn't be like, Okay, the kids are, let's go do something like it is full time taxi service at best now for these parents. And if they're eight, ten and thirteen, he's going to have to go through this from September to May for a long time.
So my cousin has that same exact situation. They live on Fifth Avenue in New York, so they're obviously loaded and don't have to worry about the money part, right, and so they would they live in New York and then the two kids are super into baseball and they have to fly to North Carolina, fly to Georgia for games.
I'm like, are you pro athletes?
Yeah?
I mean if you're if your kids it's a good chance to going pro or that's your scholarship things.
I get that, but most of these most of these kids don't.
It's just the norm.
Now norm.
It seemed like the norm. I couldn't believe it, Like why can't you play like a team that's like a cross town.
And looks like the car line? Now, since when did the parents have to go and like pick up and drop off? It's nuts, so we can use the car line.
They're all star games, they're all star teams. Like these are people that pay to do these. So this is basically the new like college application, Like you thought your kid was in cello and piano and track, Like, oh, you're on an all star team, You're an elite team.
These are how like this is the precursors in middle school and high school to where they're actually getting footage, they're actually getting their names and like they get this travel experience, they're more likely to be looked at by big teams like this.
Ninety percent of these kids aren't getting looked at at all. And I think you have to.
Determine that's now becoming the bear requirement is to be on these pro I get steam.
Let's look at this from Ben's perspective. What does he do about this? Because it does you know younger, he's younger than her, but the kids are all gone. He's probably like, yeah, I'm a pair of two. This is great. And then he suddenly like, I basically have to do this all over again, worse. And I can't even share a hotel room with my go because she's got an eight year old in the bed with her. He's got to find a new sorry woman.
Yeah, I've dated a few single mothers, actually quite a few, and it's an issue. Yeah, and I get very frustrated. So and it hasn't worked out for me.
I don't you know.
I don't mind the kids. I love the kids. I actually fall in love with the kids a lot of times. But there's just no quality time with.
Yeah, you know, I always I'm very single mom sympathetic A lot of this time. She has to paint a roadmap to her availability to make him feel like this is this one seems tough, this one seems checkmate. Like there's three kids, and you know she's already sharing it. You know, he's not to the point now where he's like, I can take one of the kids. But he doesn't want to do that either. He wants to spend time with her and if the weekends are shot, I mean's a lot of week dating.
But this is a long way to go. The youngest is eight.
I think it's unanimous. This is not going to work out. It's never recommended. I've seen again, I have many forty five real it's like a lot of forty five men. They have like a kid that's like maybe a sophomore or junior senior. They're like one or two more years. We're almost done, like all the kids are out. Unless you truly like you have to make that decision you want to be a parent again, you like, really that's what you love doing, and you loved going to the
hockey games and doing all the false stuff in the sports. Yeah, you're gonna it's yeah, it's not gonna work out.
Yeah.
A lot of couples stay together till the kids eighteen, just so they can share the carpool duties.
And it sounds like this woman needs to stay and like seems like she has some other responsibility to shoot.
Yeah, I feel bad for them, but anyway, all right. Next one, This is from Savannah via the Facebook page.
Thanksgiving is the biggest fall thing.
Right, for the sake of argument, let's put it ahead of raking leaves in Columbus Day weekend. Anyway, my boyfriend every year we've been dating for three years, has tried to get me to make the full dinner for our friends and his family, like the turkey, the stuffings, the sides, all of it. He says, at some point in life where if we are together and have a family, it's something I will have to do, so let's figure it out.
Now.
That's not exactly the most romantic of proposals, but I do love him.
What the fuck?
Why can't we just go out and save everybody this exercise in culinary experimentation. He's definitely wrong on this, right. I've asked my friends and they all say I have had to do it once myself.
Is this a thing? Have you ever made a Thanksgiving dinner? Yes?
Yes, I'm a cooker, so I like, I love cooking all the meals. I've even done like an entire Thanksgiving dinner just on a smoker before. So I like doing that. I understand someone not wanting to do that, right, Like that's fair. And there's also takeout, like do you know how many restaurants in grocery stores like do full like they literally cook you pay for these full meals per person.
It's not about that. It's people wanting to know that she's capable. And me and you last year, I think not together, but we each went to like a Capital Grill for Thanksgiving. Right, it was delightful. Yes, shout out to Capitol Grill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are restaurants. A lot more people are doing that. But this is almost like a rite of passage that a woman has to
go through and do once. He should not ask her to marry you, boyfriend, and then maybe kind of put this in there, but don't be like, at some point we might be together, we need this test. He's wrong.
Yeah, if a woman doesn't cook, there's no way she can pull it together out of nowhere.
Right, maybe or she can cook, but Thanksgiving dinner is a thing.
That's a high pressure situation, and I don't believe anybody like if we liked turkey as a society, they would serve it in restaurants. Normally, we don't like turkey, we like the other shit that goes along with it, So just make the other shit right.
I like the dark needed turkey.
If you go to a restaurant, you're not like, do you have any dark meat turkey on the man?
Any specials? There's no specials of turkey.
Maybe at Denny's they have it all year round, but generally speaking, we don't like turkey. We like turkey sandwiches. It's about all the other stuff. This is an unfair thing, is She's just like, I don't need to jump through hoops to show you that I'm capable of doing this, and I'm never gonna do this if we're married.
Screw it right.
Yeah, I enjoy going out, Like you said, somebody else can cook and clean and you used to get enjoy the dinner in the atmosphere.
Yeah, And if they're nice about family, then hang out after dinner or like you said, cater it or go to a grocery store that just heat stuff up. But if she's sticking there with her fist up the ass of a turkey just to prove that she's capable for your friends and family. That's not wrong, but it doesn't sound like her friends are all saying apparently like yeah, I've had to do it too, Like that seems all.
I don't fall for ultimatums. If there's an ultimatum, I'm out. Maybe that makes me petty, but it's like, don't quote position away that. But usually there's learning, like if you're getting to know when you're dating this person.
They said three years, three years, this is she said, this is three years of this.
Maybe his mom is like a really intense Italian and like their thanksgivings are like maybe maybe it's not as like a normal cranberries and stuffing kind of thing, and like she's intimidated by it.
Yeah, but he's like, I'm going to make you do this, and she doesn't want, she's stressed out by and it's exhausting. Don't make her do this. We'll make her wear the slutty Halloween costume.
Don't make her make the turkey.
There you go.
Well, I do kind of think that if if you're a guy dating and you have a lot of options, a woman that can cook and can bring something like that of value. It does make that woman look a lot more attractive.
I'm right, But that would be a woman other than her who's like, I'm excited to show off my cooking skills.
Exactly, somebody that can cook, somebody that is already excited to cook, not somebody that forced the cook. I mean, if somebody can't do it, I don't want to do it. You're not going to get a good turnout I got.
I got asked by a girlfriend once I was at her family's house and she was like, oh, Brian, can help carve the turkey? And I'm like, oh my god, I've never done this. I turned it shredded wheat, like I had no idea how to carve a turkey. It looked like chicken salad by the time I was found it. It's a bad idea. People are like, let me just help you with that.
It was awful.
Seems like she needs to ask a deeper question on like why is this so important? A lot of times when it comes to like Thanksgiving, Christmas, it's more about the family and the football. It's like it's the camaraderie, it's the thing. So it's like maybe she is just not a cook. Maybe she just burns toast, But like, can she host? Is she empathetic of your family? She gathered? Can you put your work together? Does she enjoy the you know, having fifteen people in her house like with
family and get nice cultory? Like maybe the food is just the one thing. But it's like, does she hate Thanksgiving and the thought of hosting to worry being a part of the family or does she just hate cooking?
Two words, Savannah slutty pilgrim, you go with that and never very like you anyway.
Ooh, all right, I like the visual.
I know, all right, next one.
Since this mail bag is about a particular season, I think weather is a part of a season, and for that matter, temperature. Why is every girl I date chronically cold? There's nothing worse than coming in with an extra layer of clothing on during October or November and have the heat beyond eighty five because she has a circulation issue or weighs one hundred pounds. It's abnormal. I constantly tell these women that it's a lot easier to add a layer to keep warm than take awful layer to cool off.
You want me to just walk around naked, that's fine, But I'm still gonna be hot, and not the kind you want.
What is the compromise on this?
People wait all year round to enjoy the outdoors when the weather gets in the sixties. Can't we all enjoy the indoors at the same set temperature. That's from Mark at the North Pole. He's right, Agel love being outside in sixty eight degrees. Why can't it be sixty eight degrees inside? And you can just leave a sweater on, borrow my hoodie.
I know.
Megan's like, no, turn it to seventy eight. What does your boyfriend prefer the temperature?
Ap He is a poor, poor he's very hairy man warm. He's just hot all the time. And I sympathize. So the house is set to like seventy sixty nine seventy I can't even feel my fingers with toast just sitting in here. I'm cold all the time. I'm miserable. I have gotten used to the sweaters and wearing the leggings, and I like have fuzzy socks when I have to just be in my house. So it's just the way it is.
Airplane movie theater, You're you're bundling movie theater.
Yes, oh, bring a sweater literally every single time. But I mean there are I tell them that there are downsides to not keeping One, I'm usually a little bit crankier, but two, it's like if he keeps the room a little bit warmer, closed little yeah, it gets He's like, why can't like he wants to lay and tries to feel up and do all the things, And I'm like, got a T shirt and a sweater and socks, and
I'm like, yeah, warmer in here. I would probably be wearing less clothes to bed, but I'm literally shivering for survival a lot with the fan and the air conditioner blowing on me in the cold sheets.
And there's a lot of women think it's sexist that a lot of offices are colder, but colder makes people more alert.
It's actually a better work environment.
So theaters comedy clubs are a little colder because they want people to be alert.
Thoughts, are you a hot temperature cold temperature? You don't give a shit?
Well, I've definitely noticed that women do run a lot colder by default, because like I've known so many women that love Sauna's hot tubs. I'll go in to support, but I'm like, literally roasting like a turkey. So and I don't really I mean, here it's hot too, but it's it's uh, it does seem like women's temperature, like the homeostasis is like a little bit a little bit lower than men's.
It's a constant problem. It's almost like you're dating somebody with a different political view. You're just gonna have to agree to disagree because there is no solution. I battle this every single day with my girlfriend. She loves to turn on the fan and then get under covers and put her cold damn feet right on my back or something, and it just drives me crazy.
That's what I'm like, do you want me to cuddle you, then let's make it colder, like yeah, that's better than we're hot and whatever. Like I'm the same thing. I I want it like fifty five and then I'll put on like more clothing. Then there's a point where and it's just you know, we're here in Scottsdale where it can be you know, one hundred and twenty it's brutal, but in like, let's just you know, sixty eight should be fine.
I think it's a compromise. That's what we have. Like in the morning, Like he gets up before me and goes to the gym, So when he wakes up, he'll turn the AC up to like seventy three seventy four, so when I wake up and do stuff, it's like warmer. And then he works from home, so he turns it back down during the day, and then we have a brief few hours in the afternoon when I come home.
So when I walk in the door, the house is nice and warm, but then I'm also courteous before before we go to bed, if I know like we're starting to wind down, I'll crank it down to seventy so I'll put on my sweater so I know he can sleep like it's it's.
Just it's healthier to sleep in the call.
It's healthier. It's good.
John Stamos slips like fifty eight degrees. Look at how good he looks. It's a better sleep. The sweets.
That's scientifically proven.
Yes, that you're supposed to your body if you'll have a better sleep. Yeah, And your body's able to warm you down to quite a few times. If you sleep like sixty two sixty four, you're gonna have a better sleep and you're gonna be healthier.
Ladies.
Interesting, you know you want me be cold and then let me cuddle you and a lot of women, I don't want to be cuddled.
Get away from me. I want my sleep thing.
So all right, in the interest of time, here, this is the first time you've been on this podcast where you can still play. This is your guys first time on the podcast. Here the Great Love Debate. We play something called worst date or first date, which means you actually you have to give us either the worst date you've ever been on or the greatest first date you've been.
On, your choice. Maggot first, think back to your swinging single days.
Oh my goodness. Uh, greatest first date or worst date?
Your choice?
I think a really great first date.
Good for you. That's very hopeful. Share please.
Uh greatest first date was I was a lot more free spirited.
And sluddy pilgrim.
Yeah.
I was much more like luster in the wind and was not worried about caution. And I met someone and I literally met them for a drink.
Uh.
They invited Like I met like on a dating site or something forever ago, and they asked me to go on a drink. We met on a drink and he's like, I'm going on a trip tomorrow. Would you like to come? And I was like, sure, first thing I did, very first thing in the morning. He like, that night, send me a ticket. We went to California. We stayed in Malibu for like five days.
I'm for you, you felt comfortable with him, like just the first day.
Listen to you, sugar dad. That's like half your dating stories.
Just like when I was like tomorrow, like you'll be ready, like only I was like, I am either going by myself or he was like, yeah, sure, I'm down, And I was like, I think that audacity and like confidence. I think that's what falls with.
A lot of like what happened after? Oh we were so you dated?
We dated for We dated Everyone say in a relationship, but we definitely dated for a while and then we ended up. I think just in our personal lives just beaking friends. Like we were super close. We were best friends from about like two and a half three years. So then he got into a serr spaceship that we good for you, but we yeat.
The problem with those is first dates and I'm just saying they're not is it's a little tough to sustain that excitement. It's like, oh, we're just gonna go get some ice cream. Now, last week we went to Malibu, like you almost have, Like that's a pretty high bar to top, but good for you. That is a good first date.
Second best day was going to I went as an anime character. I was at one of the conventions and I didn't have time to go back and change out of my little sexy whatever anime. I'm a con costume and I literally came out on a date and a wig.
So wow, cruel Deville, there you go. Good for you, all right, sugar Jay. First date, worst date or first date. So this might not be a first first date, but pretty close. I took a girl to BAMF in Canada and we had a great day hiking, we spent I felt really close to her and I felt like we really bonded. And one of the last things we did was went to a bar.
Some guy just random go at the bar, walks up to probably her, not me, and says, you want to come to a party, And she wanted to go to the party.
And I wanted to go to bed and you know, bed and other stuff, you know what.
So therefore I kind of just wanted to just not go to this party, you know, and then it became this big fight, and we went back to the hotel, and after I went to sleep, she went out again. And the only reason I found out was the next day she left a sweater at either the guy's house or the party or whatever. The guy brought it back, left his number, and the concierge says like, oh, a young man brought this, and and he left his number for you in front of me.
To that, first of all, you must be a sound sleeper.
Well, we actually know. What happened was that we had really bad sleep the first night together. We were both tossing and turning. So I was like, you know what, I'm just going to get a separate room, so we're gonna both get a good night's sleep. So I went to my room and so therefore I didn't know, you know, it was so she never came into your room, No, no, I Yeah. So yeah, we just bamped.
Yeah, I like banff until then.
Yeah, well the two rooms that'll cost you?
That did cost me if like four hundred dollars a night.
Yeah, so no two rooms with Megan s male body.
Yeah, but yeah, but that was that was that really stun just because.
She wasn't that tired from the night before.
Yeah, exactly exactly. She had ry I know, you pooped out.
I can't really blame her on her side on this one.
The crazy thing is this just happened. Yeah, this is fresh, and here she is, Oh.
This just happened.
Yeah, it kind of stings.
But I mean, was she a sugar yeah, oh yeah yeah?
Yeah.
So she was paid you paid for for no, I mean, I I covered her costs and I don't know that we didn't have anything worked out specifically for the trip. So but there were a lot of like long term kind of potential promises.
So there's no expectations on the trip. There's no negotiation like you will sleep in my room for an extra five hundred Is that a thing?
Or that he had already given her like a monthly allow?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
She she I felt she was pretty much taken care of in a big way, you know. I mean I think I think that you know, she just didn't really understand how it all worked.
I guess, so in some sense you needed to find print in the brochure.
So ask him what the age gap? Well, on this one, was was the age gap?
I don't know how old.
I got to do the math here twenty two versus fifty fifty.
Two, thirty thirty years about thirty?
Yeah, what are you doing?
What you do?
You could find somebody just like her who is really cute forty y cute.
Okay, he's really fair enough.
And I guess the other guy thought so well, I got you know, I learned my lesson too, so it's maybe it's not a good idea to to date somebody is super young, you know.
But that was that.
I mean, that was definitely one of the worst, just because I felt that I had done everything to bring her here, given her a really nice experience, and then she felt that she needed to like just.
She's twenty two. She doesn't need to sleep like you, old man. Apparently, Nah, you got to know your demo? All right, Marcus, what do you got?
Let's see, I've told this a couple of times, so I'll get you a new one. This one's pretty crazy. I met a girl on the dating site Sugar dating site. We had sushi. She's like, yeah, I want to go back to your place. I'm like, abs so fucking loly.
So we go and.
We're we has a few more drinks, and we started kind of messing around, and her phone rings and she says, oh my god, my driver is out front and he needs to go to the restroom. Can he come in and use the restroom? Like your driver?
What?
How does he even know where you are? She oh, he has my location all times, and don't worry. He's my gay best friend. Okay, come on it. So he came in used the restauran. We're in the master bedroom and he used the restroom in there. And She's get pretty inebriated at this point, and so he comes out and he's not. He's feeling awkward already. She tries pulling him in bed with us. Oh, I'm like, oh, well wait, wait, wait, hold on, you know it's it's fine.
I just don't.
I don't. I'm not ready for this, right. So anyway, they start talking, they get up, they go in the garage. They goes, hey, can I smoke a cigarette? I'm like, well, just go in the garage. So they're in there for like twenty minutes. I'm laying in bed, going all right, this is not sexy. I'm not around. I just this is not going well. So she comes back in he sits out in the living room. She starts trying to get into it. I'm not into it. She gets all mad and leaves in a huff and a puff, and
she leaves her Jimmy Chew shoes there. I didn't know how much they were worth, but anyway, apparently those were quite expensive, and she asked if she could come get them back, and I said, yeah, I already walked around him. They're not my size, so I gave them back to her.
Uh, but yeah, that sucks.
That was a little interesting. So yeah, come on, guys, get together crazy anyway, I've got crazy stories, but some of them I don't know they'd be appropriate for this show.
All right, Well, where can people find your inappropriate show?
Secrets of a Sugar Daddy. Uh, we're on all the all the podcast players and uh, you can find us a Secrets of a Sugar Daddy dot com. We've got a big party coming up you might even want to attend. We call it Sugarpalooza. And Brian knows about those and they are a lot of fun. He thinks they're swinger p loosers, but that's.
Not what they are.
I don't know what they are.
Sugar sugar Daddy Jay over here. Has been quite a few there. They're actually quite almost life changing. People have great experiences and it's just like minded people coming together to celebrate a fun weekend. So you're interested in finding out more about that, go to our website.
All right, you need to register sugar Daddy Jay dot com. There you go. If somebody wants you use their sugar daddy where they find you just Google.
They could contact me exactly.
Reach out to Marcus.
Yeah, I'll pass on his number. Actually, I've had quite a few people because sugar Daddy Jay is. He's generous, he's fun to be around. He's just a super nice guy.
Here you go, and I've met some really great both women as well as good friends because.
Of Marcus, and I really appreciate that.
Yeah, we have a fun little community. It's it's actually unlike anything you would think it would be. It's it's super close and friendly and honest, and everybody really enjoys each other.
So I cash on the nightstand.
Well.
Also the fact that, like, because this particular segment of dating is so tabooed, you know, many of us don't
feel comfortable telling even our family about it. So but when you find other people that are also on the same path, with the same struggles and the same kind of like you know, issues, and then you have this community you really bondt to them because they're there are people that you can actually trust, that you can actually be feel that you can express yourself without feeling judged about it.
And and I think that's how like really like halloweens, you know it is.
No, there are people looking for alternative paths to happiness relationships all the time. I'm a little bit probably too old fashioned for you guys, but hey, you asked me one times, like you have a.
Girlfriend and I go, yeah, and you're like, she costs a lot of money. I go sometimes and you're like, you're a sugar daddy.
Isn't that the saying now? Or you see it all over the internet. It's like all women are expensive. Just pick one in your tax bracket.
Yeah, yes, I think you're right, Megan.
You got a podcast starting up soon, I hear.
Yes, oh really, yes, we'll be starting the new podcast Hot or Not here at the pod Populace Hot or Not, Hot or Not. Yes, you'll be on Marcus.
Really yes, Well you have to come on my show and tell us all about it for sure.
Yeah, we'll be talking about all the hot topics and anything interesting going on and things not so hot or like that. We need to bring some more awareness to so good.
I like that, all right.
Uh, you guys were great as far as us and the letters, we got a whole bunch. Fall is sort of a looked at us, sort of a dead season, but you guys were able to hit the bullseye on that as far as us like share, follow, Please review Seekers of a Sugar Daddy as well as this podcast. After five hundred episodes of this your podcast, your reviews still mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. Shoot me an email Great Love Debate at gmail dot com if
you've got something to say. And I was teasing you guys a couple weeks ago thinking that I've got the itch health permitting if you listen to that podcast to do some live shows again and some venues are calling to me, I'm thinking about it.
I'll just say I'm thinking about it because so go.
To Great Love Debate dot com and if I think about it harder, you'll see tour dates on there. Because, as always at the Great Love Debate.
We never stopped making love to see you next time.
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