GLD 499 - Beauty And The Beholder

This is Pod Popular Podcast for the People.

The Great Love Debate. It's a Great Love Debate, The Great Love Debate.

It's a Great Love Debate.

Hi Enner Munch, Brian Howie, Welcome to Great Love Debate, the world's number one dating and relationship podcast. Its twenty fifteen. I'm here in the very fine studios of Pod Popular Podcasts for the People. I am at the one in bolk Raton, Florida. I'm in a in a studio within the studio called the Pop Pod. And the thing about this studio is it has three very very fancy cameras.

I don't use. You got a lot of guys right like, why is there no.

Video on this podcast? It's twenty twenty five, blah blah blah. Well, I have been recording for a long long time. This is episode four ninety nine, so we're almost there, and

I like sort of the theater of the mind. I like all of that kind of stuff.

Now it's swung the other way that most of our guests want cameras and people want video and whatever. And it's kind of unfortunate because a lot of women have been scared out of the podcast game because they don't want to play that game.

They don't want to be do hair and makeup, and they don't want to have to look good and so two sides of the coin.

So the reason I'm bringing this up is probably because there's some fancy neck new technology that's gonna like me really well.

I'm still very cute, but maybe I'm not as cute as four hundred and nine nine episodes ago. Good lighting will help that.

So there's gonna be some video element coming soon, at least for the socials. You're never gonna be able to watch the whole thing on YouTube, so sorry, you have to hit Spotify or Apple. Second thing somebody mentioned the other day, They said that you always describe every single female guest that you have on your podcast as lovely and they go, that's such an interesting why do you use that word. There's a reason why I use that word. I used to watch Letterman all the time, like my

I think it is sad. I think it is unfortunate.

I think that we have to get out of thesaurus and find other words for lovely that are disarming. So I brought a couple of lovely chicks in here, and now they're going to be like, oh my god, he says that to everyone so now any guests gonna be any?

Says to everyone.

They both look like they're auditioning for the Wednesday Adams Hair Club. They're very jet black hair. They've been on this before, maybe once or twice each. It's sad that I don't know, but I don't think they don't know. I dragged back Julie and Jeanine. Jannine, how many times have you been on this podcast?

This is episode number two for me.

Oh so you've only been here once?

Yeah, Julie, I believe there was one with just me and another one with me and someone else. But let me just say, I want to be introduced as smoking hot.

I don't know.

Oh you do.

Well, that's why you need to put that in your bio or something. And that's a really good point. I've said this on the podcast before. I stand by this one of I think the Again, if this offends you, this is probably not the podcast for you. Unfortunate trends in recent society is that people put their preferred pronouns in their work signature line.

Fine, if that's what you want to be called. Fine.

I think we are better off societally, especially romantically, if you put your preferred compliments in your signature life. If you put in there like pretty, beautiful, cute underneath your name in there, I will know more about how.

To deal with you than I will. Do you do if it's she her or them or them?

I can't If you tell me she her, all I know is you're probably a worm, well probably, But if you put in like cute, sexy, vivacious, I know more about you, and I know more how to deal with you, and we're all better off with that.

Right.

Yeah, I'm going to update my LinkedIn profile right now.

Put it on there because if people say, oh, you can tell everybody because I bring this up at my live shows. Yet every woman wants to be told she's pretty. No, they do not. Not only do some not want to be looked at physically, the ones who do don't like pretty because they think it's boring.

They're like pret people identify as they No, I think a.

Lot of women like pretty is lunch with your mother. Pretty is not sexy, Pretty is not They don't necessarily want that. Does that make sense? If somebody want you want to be called beautiful, pretty or.

Hot, I don't care as long as you call me, oh.

That makes it hard for the guy I mean, right, but he doesn't know that either. Love I mean the only one that i've I've sort of has unanimous approval across the board. I've never never met a woman who doesn't want to be called a stone cold fox.

Okay, yeah, everybody wants to be a fucking guy.

Lovely is like a ninety eight year old grandmother, which is exactly.

It's complimentary, but it's not sexual.

Correct.

If somebody goes, here's my girlfriend, Julie, she's lovely, probably wouldn't like it.

Probably not going to sleep with them that night.

Correct, right, So it's a non sexual compliment, more about their like presence and their personality. You can't go into a workplace anymore in America and your colleague be like, oh my god, your hair, you look amazing. You can't even say amazing to somebody at your colleague.

That's an hr violation.

That's try for men, that is very true.

So they say nothing.

And most of what we're used to to talking about, at least early on, is we just want to flatter you and compliment you until you're smoking fucking hot.

Think I'll be working for you, because otherwise it'd be.

Drinking at eleven o'clock in the mouth.

They are drinking, drinking.

And ye.

Right, you know, I think you should go to be able to you know, the only ones who really mind are the hot ones.

Generally, because they're most insecure.

No kidding, and they're like, I know I'm hot, tell me I'm smart, tell me I'm funny.

You know.

Krista Allen. Yeah, google Christa Allen. When I first met Krista Allen was probably twenty years ago. She was dating George Clooney. She might have been. She was as as as they say about Tiger Woods. She was playing in a game that we are not familiar with. That like, I'd never seen anybody's who looked like that in real life.

I need to.

Google her, okay, and uh and probably do her.

But I said to her, I asked her, I go, are you able to be complimented like or is it just like no shit? Because even if she didn't think she's hot, she's hears it every single day of her life for our ex single person and she goes, I like something specific, your hair, your smile, your clothes, something that shows a little bit more than I hits. Yeah, maybe that's a good point though, Yeah, she brought up.

She goes, I need to see you looking at me then more than.

A painting, more than a picture, more than I wanted to be the three D in a two D. And I always kind of remembered that if you tell me about oh my god, you look radiant or luminous, I said, get off thesaurus, it's gonna go a long time than oh my god, you're fucking hot.

It's a really good.

But I do think beautiful when said in the right setting, like if we're like about to whatever and you were like sitting on the couch and he's like, you are.

I don't know, I don't even know who. I don't know who I'm talking about.

But if they're like, you're so beautiful, like if they say it sincerely, it's it's it's then you feel it in the heart.

That are related. Beautiful and gorgeous are similar.

Gorgeous is physical, Yeah, yeah, correct, right, Yeah.

You rarely anybody not anybody, You rarely hear the word gorgeous. That is the highest level of compliment. I think it is right.

You might say somebody beautiful one hundred times in a year. Yeah, gorgeous is reserved. For the very best, right.

I think I've ever been referred to as.

Gorge maybe not to your face, because people aren't allowed to say it to you anymore.

I want them to say it to me.

Have you ever said it? You've seen a woman like, oh my god, they're gorgeous. Yeah?

Right, And that is that is a compliment that is higher up. I don't think anybody wouldn't want to hear that. That is the ultimately, if someone is like, oh my god, you look gorgeous. Yeah, women can say that to other women. And I think a man could say that, because that's kind of word that usually a gay man would say. And it's disarming. It's such a high compliment that it's not sexual.

Fabulous I think that's or stunning.

I say fantastical, and I'm like, oh my god, you look fantastic.

Stunning. You use stunning. I love the words.

Stunning is a good word.

That's why, you know, kind of you have to think about what you're saying.

But it sucks that we can't just.

Spend like like the old fashion, we have nothing to say, and we're just going to tell you that we think you're so hot. I think that's fine, and the reason why those I'm a man and we don't hear it.

Yeah, that's an ick. If someone said, oh, you're hot, I'd be like, you're not. Goodbye, right.

But if I asked one hundred women, thirty would like hot, thirty would want pretty.

And that's why it's hard for the guys.

Unless you put it in your signature line, we don't know how to even approach you. Must let's compliment you. And if you came out to if I picked you up to go out to dinner and he's like, oh my god, you look so hot. He's rolling the dice that you like that. If he said it to Julie, you would like it.

Yeah.

See, we don't know.

It depends, though it depends.

But I also think that so what the different creepy to compliment is who's given it.

That's a good quote, that's a good quote.

It's truck quote. No but.

Hot, And he said I look hot, I'd be like, yeah.

If Tatum sells you're hot, he says hi to me, I'll do what everyone.

But the guy doesn't know how you perceive him.

But then once the guy says, I think that talks to compatibility. Once the guy says it. And if you are like, oh god, I'm offended by hot ter, I'm offended by stunning room, offended by whatever, that might not be the guy for you, and that might not be the girl for you if.

You can't handle that.

I would want a guy to think I'm hot. I just would, and I want him to say it. But I'm a guy, and even though I'm still probably in the you know, thirty percent good look, and still because I have a full head of air, Yeah you really do, I don't hear it ten times in a year.

I might not hear it a hundred times in.

My life because a man is not as defined necessarily, unfortunately by his appearance. You go out with a guy and your friend say, what does he do? I go out with a girl, And are you still dating that blonde? Are you still dating that attorney? It's just the way it is. You might qualify it. Oh my god, he's dating some doctor and she's smoking hot. Yeah he's he's stating a really cute guy and he's a financial analyst. Like it's second.

It's true. However, I'm a total sapio sexual. So for me, I love the person I want to be wowed by the beauty of the inner, of the inner self.

And that absolutely not.

I hear that all the time, Like I'm turned on by the mind if the guy's gross the guys I'm.

Telling you, I if you look at the lineup of the men I've dated in my lifetime, You're like, there's no fucking stated or they like hot and depends. Yeah, So what I'm saying is physically they might just be absolutely appalling to you, but mentally they're right.

Here's the issue.

You won't know them well enough for them to get a chance. So there's a lot of guys that you If you're saying looks don't matter, then you're saying every guy has a chance with you if they can connect with you intellectually. That means you have to give every guy a chance to have that, and that might take some time.

So how do you weed that out?

You know or you don't.

How do you know somebody's intellectually stimulating to you in thirty seconds?

Haven't you met? Because haven't you met? You've wrote a book on how.

To find love in sixty seconds? That is difference.

That is about a spark and a moment might not be because somebody could be intellectually stimulating. You might not find that out to the third date because they're nervous. You might not know that right away. I'm saying, if you're saying that matters to you the most, if you've got to that's not sabio sexual, sabiosexual or sapio sexual Tomato. Tomato is about I am turned on by their intelligence, by their intellect.

Find that out in the first date with someone. If you're turned on by their intelligo.

Because I think they're nerving, nervous and they're sucking down artichoke dip like I don't know.

If you can, but.

I agree like for me, like honestly, like four places sometimes is a deep conversation round I'm like, oh my god, Yeah, the.

Smartest person I know, the smartest girl I know. She is a big boob California blonde. And I had no idea she was smart because she.

Was a big boobyed Calibornia blonde.

So that was enough. She can go a long way with that. And the fact that she was is that offensive to you?

If somebody's like, you're a big boobyed California.

It's a fact.

Yes, California is descriptive.

I don't know.

None of those can be denied if it's someone right now.

I mean you introduced this as Alvira and Wednsday Adams say Elvira.

You brought up elvira, You said thea orticia whatever, that's descriptive.

It's a hair collor true different.

Well, no, we could be like Latina and be spicy in tan.

But I know you're Jewish and Italian.

So we are both fair skinned and dark haired.

And drinking at eleven o'clock in the morning. I'm here with Jeanie and Julie. We're trying to figure out what we can say to compliment each other.

Uh.

I gotta take a quick break because we have to pay for wine at eleven o'clock in the morning and we will be back right after this. And we are back when you compliment, And so I brought up the guy thing.

You know that you don't compliment men. You might say you look.

Great, but you're not going to be like I think you're like, you don't say.

Oh, except sometimes they want it, like not to we always want it get in bed, They're like, tell me this is that?

And I'm like, oh, well what about before you get there?

Like you You might go a year without telling a guy, a man, to his face, that you find him attractive.

Do you know why I don't. Who does that?

Yeah? Nobody? That's my point.

Why wouldn't Why wouldn't you tell the person you're No, I'm not talking about the person in your relationship with.

I'm talking a random like I might meet some of the office and say, like, you know, you're beautiful, you're amazing. Somebody might come in this podcast studio, Oh my god, you tell men that.

What do you say? What is the adjective you use?

Your beautiful soul?

That is?

I would be so insulted at that. That would be like saying you have a great personality.

Yeah, you're saying they're nice.

I don't want to hear that.

Give me a physic You ever give a physical compliment to a man?

No, because I'm in a relationship and it's completely That is different appropriate to do that, is it? What?

Why?

Yeah?

Hey, I just think you're super handsome. You can't say that to somebody.

No, no, no, But.

I could tell a woman, I think relationship or not, I could be like, you, you look fantastic, you look amazing.

I think you can without hitting on her like.

That doesn't nessary if you're not in a relationship, But if you're in a relationship with someone and you say that to another woman, your woman is going to feel complete.

I think it depends on the woman's secure though, because that woman that I'm in a relationship with, she's going to hear it every day of her life.

And so if you're letting her know that, you're a problem.

If you tell a woman every day of her life and then you sell another woman, you're not telling you that one is going to cheapen.

The I think it's got to be a different compliment. Just like now anyone who comes on here is going to hear the love lady.

I mean, now you're just I ruined it. I want to know. I like the word like oh, that means you think of a good personality.

But I also think I don't necessarily compliment men, at least not early on, because I don't want to inflate theor ego. I don't want them to leave me for someone hotter because I just now said, God, you're so hot, are you have this or that?

Whatever? Like I've clearly insecurity issue.

There's a lot of women. The thing they do not want to hear. They do not want to hear cute. They don't like cute.

I was cute when I was fifty pounds heavier. Then I was cute and bubbly, and h is cute.

Is cute is more personality driven. Cute is almost a consolation prize. Yeah, there's an old casting.

My vagina would totally dry up if you called me cute. It would just be done.

There's an old a casting director. One time.

She used to say she was looking for a blue lobster. You know what a blue lobster. There's one out of every million.

But I know what a blue waffle is, and you do not want to look that up right now.

While here, okay, there's a blue lobster. So one out of every million lobsters is born blue. It's like a genetic freak lobster. In the in Hollywood, in the casting world, a blue lobstre meant that, depending on either what she was going for or depending on perceiving she could be looked at, is cute, pretty, or hot, And almost no woman is all three. They're usually two out of three. The rare one is somebody like Peak Britney. Oh God, she's all three, yeah, or.

Two out of three.

You know, maybe Jennifer Aniston is all three, but give me like Angelina and Joelee, there's no cute and Angelina she's hot and she's pretty not cute.

Right, I'm very turned off by Angelina.

I get that.

That's a different conversation, but very rare. And if you're one out of three, you're doing pretty good. Two out of three is great. But it's such a rare thing to find somebody who has all three. Wow, And that's not a good personality thing because Britney's a lunatic, so we're not judging on it.

It's just her looks. It's cute, it's pretty. There's not that many.

I don't the thing I cute I agree with.

I don't mind if I'm like, just had woken up and I'm kind of like, you know, BedHead and whatever, and if they say, like I look adorable at that moment, I don't mind.

Adorable If adorable is great too. Sweet Taylor Swift cute and pretty not hot.

I don't even not hot. He's a poster in a dorm room of Taylor Swift.

No adorable, No, I adore you.

That mean that's all different. That is not a compliment.

That is my physical We're into the physical compliments here. So I adore you is a feeling.

This is about the I'm a sapeo sexual, so that's why I like the feeling.

Brian, How what if he said, I adore you? Are you look adorable? Not interested? Do you dry up?

I mean, it depends on if I'm again, it depends on if I'm in a relationship with them or if they just see me in the You're.

Adorable because you hear these things as women a lot.

As a man, many don't say that to me.

I never get you're pretty, you're.

Hot, You're get it from your man.

I do because I'm in a relationship. But but he had to say it before. He says it every day.

As a man, like I hear I'm smart a lot, I hear I'm an asshole a lot.

I hearny a lot.

Well, you're kind of an asshole, but I love you.

I don't hear you're a good looking man like you know you're.

Because I tell myself that. No, I'm aware that, but you don't hear it. You're not gonna hear it. You can wow somebody a long long time, and you just don't. It's just not something that men get. So maybe we think because we need the commodity. You know, I say I love you a lot quicker because I didn't hear I love you very quick in my life there same thing. Maybe the men give the compliments because we want to get this out in the open and hope we get the ball hit back to us.

I don't know, I'm sincere. Listen, if you're in love with someone, they're going to shower you in their own way, not necessarily in the hold on, in their own way, their acts of service gives, whatever their love languages, they're they're going to do it. But for me, it's words of affirmation one hundred percent.

But a lot of women do what I call fishing for insults, which means you'd be like, oh my god, you're so hot. No, I'm not usual to see my sister. Oh I don't look good today. I just have my hair done.

That that we're we isn't got to turn off like that's gross.

If I were a dude, it would be like, I'm not saying it's not I'm saying they do do that, and so that's it's going to be like, listen, no matter what I say, And you can be in a relationship and say that, oh, don't even look at me right now, like we yea. It's not always received with open arms. Relationship or not workplace or not stranger or not.

Yeah, your eyes are such a pretty color.

Yeah, you won't get punched.

You won't get punched. If I just said you're really hot. Yeah, no, it's not going to work out, but I would love to hear it. As a man, it can come.

I will tell you this is a true story.

And I don't take compliments while and I'm not trying to be I was in seven eleven. That's where I get my die cookes these days, because they're cheaper than McDonald's.

Anyway.

I have a die cooked day. Fact. Yeah nine, me too.

Oh my god, I love every day multiple anyway.

So I'm in seven eleven and this man who like not to he looked a little like, oh my god, is a homeless man coming up to minory. He was like, I just want to tell you, like you you look really really like happy and pretty see like comin things. I don't know if it's my eyes or whatever. And I'm like at first, I'm like, you're so fucking creepy, and then I'm like that was that made my day?

And sometimes you just need to hear it. Oh, we don't know. You need to hear it. You should wear a little stick compliment.

Yeah, wear a little button complimently the eye voteen Devil's Advocate.

There are times, even in sixteen years of being in a relationship with the same person on and off. That was the first podcast one, So there are times when I'm like, I need to hear I need to be cuddled, I need it, But I have to communicate that I need to I need you to shower me with compliments right now, because there's.

Too many times when you don't need it or you're not receiving it. So he doesn't know when you need it.

Correct, But I'm vocal about it. That's called community. Like if you're if you're in a I need compliments? What in my signature line?

I like compliments. I like hugs. I'm like you. It's always a weird interaction when they're like, are you a hugger? It's so weird, like I think you.

Wasn't it a thing that people were putting their love language as in their in their dating profiles, like I like of affirmation.

Well, the problem with that, and I've talked about this on the podcast before. Eighty five percent of men have the same love language, and it's words of affirmation.

I don't say physical touch.

That's what all women think. They're wrong. They need the touch because they're not getting the words. If we got the words, we wouldn't need as much touch. Touch is the words for us. Oh she's touching me, she must like me. Almost all men it's words across.

Like I want to feel like they're appreciated. Thank you, honey, dishes, thank you honey for doing the laundry.

I like it.

You can you know we take you out, we compliment. We know all we get back is thank you for dinner.

Physical touch men are like men are.

If we got the words, we would need far less physical touch. The touch are the words, the touches. How you communicating us? If we can't touch you, it says ick, that's a bad word. So the men are wildly insecure because we don't we need the words because we don't get them. We don't get the compliments. We don't we pick you up for a date. Oh my god, you look amazing, Oh my god, this blah blah blah. We might hear back like cool, what do you do?

Thanks? Like all that.

So we need the words. And so the women always think, well, the touch is the thing. You can do a lot less touch, and if you.

Gave the words, touching is fun too. I agree with you. Women are more likely to say physical touch than men are. See.

I love giving the physical touch because I know if I give that.

Up, you're gonna get it.

I get everything.

I agree with you, you might get it if you gave it.

Got litter yep, absolutely got the try. Absolutely, But if you said.

The words, you might not have to touch.

But what if you want to touch.

Again, that's a different thing.

But the women are like, he needs I have to touch him to show him that I like him. Yeah, the words are harder. It's easier to touch because it's harder to know the words. That's kind of what I'm getting at. It's harder to know that I find you physically attractive, desirable, or I just think you're good to look at.

You know you're intellectually stimulating. A lot of men are not. And it's me, Dick, you Jene cave men mentality where it's like, hey, tild down the pants.

I mean they're not intellectually. I think they've not been trained properly by the women. I think the men are capable of more. All we know is what the last girl like, and we probably found that out too late. You need to train us in what you need, like want. We have no idea. You're all different snowflakes. The men are essentially the same. But if you don't, if we don't, if we and a lot of times the challenge for the woman is you don't know what makes you happy.

Self awareness, and you should go to therapy.

We all have I get that, but a small percentage of people goes to therapy, because therapy is fucking expensive.

People are willing to put botox in their face for four hundred dollars a pop, but they can't go to a shrink and their issue.

I don't do it every week.

How much of Starbucks? That's a that's a.

Car payment priority. I agree to you.

Do you remember getting a physical compliment one time either, except for the seven eleven incident, like from a man that was like, they said that to me in a way that I'd never heard before, and I loved it. Is there something specific that you'd heard, like, oh my god, I just want to jump your bones right now, Like, is there something that you've remembered somebody saying that You're like, that's an interesting way to put it. I told a woman once that I thought her face was exquisite. Most

China? She just shot it down. She didn't like it. I put my fasaurus away, like I never said it before. Most but some don't. That's my point. We are throwing shit at the wall. You know what that means? You have no idea.

She's not cultured and she's intellectually dumb. Because any woman, most yeah, any woman in the right mind would be like, that is an amazing That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Picked the wrong and I never said it again, Picked the wrong girl, pick the wrong person to say it to people.

Aren's drop.

So I will, I will, I will tell her because she put it in her book. I think she's been on the podcast for it. So Brandy, Brandy Glanville, sheusewives.

Yeah, she she's on the Great Love Debate too.

That's why I said, she's done the show a million times. She told me, and I think she said in her books. I think it's a public story that she went into a modeling agency one time and they told her that she was a body girl.

Her face was never get good enough.

So by any reasonable standard, for most of her life, Brandy Glables had a beautiful face. When you talk to her, she will cover her face, she will pick it her face plastic surgery. I know that's different, and no offense to Brandy I'm talking about. You know, most of her life her face has been as pretty as anybody. But because one person said the wrong thing at the wrong time,

But I question the motive are you? Are you saying that I'm gorgeous because you want to get in my pass a ship?

Don't question the motive I do. That's the problem.

It's insincerity.

Who cares? But what if he's your gorgeous pancial?

Things are fucking ugly? What if I have some random homeless person walk up to you are gorgeous, I'm supposed.

To do nothing. Thank you? Thank you should be the response.

Insincere?

Who gives a shit with their motives? Are lots of people say lots of shit? You don't know their motives? What is that shirt? I don't know?

Why should I appreciate that? If you're a random homeless person, he's probably on talking tell me that I'm gorgeous.

If he thinks you're If he's telling you're gorgeous because he wants to have sex with you, he probably thinks you're gorgeous, or he wouldn't want to have sex with you.

Or he's high.

Okay, well, the high.

Version of him thinks you're gorgeous showered, the unshowered version of him like you. Again, you're judging the messenger. Why can't we folks on the message somebody in a vacuum. Pretend that same person was a podcaster and the voice in your head said, I would love to hear this.

You're taking it. You're like, what is their intent? Why are they saying it? This is why we.

Can't do this anymore. This is why we can't give compliments. This is a problem.

Who gives a shit?

Why if somebody tells me I'm cute and they just because I went through this, I was in Hollywood, I was a director. I know people would kiss my ass because they wanted to work with me. Still felt good, still liked it.

Of course, it gives you a boot.

I didn't give a shit if they want if they think that, you know, I'm not. You know, I'm sure some girl told Harvey Weinstein he was gorgeous at some point because they wanted to part was ever no, but I'm sure they wanted something out of him.

I don't care to me, Why why do you think the twenty two year old is dating Bill Belichick or whatever whoever is that is, and she's beautiful.

She is because she's probably has some issues. But I guarantee you the fact that you know, I would never date a twenty two year old because I wouldn't want her or her friends to be like ew. Once you hear you and George Clooney hears ew like, you don't want to hear it.

Yeah, you know it's gross to me. I have a step so on that's in a story.

Okay, but that's their thing.

But he he definitely we know why he's with her. I guarantee you he tells her she's pretty.

And she likes it. And you think they have sex. I know they have sex. I'm sure they're also in his trust fund and yours.

You know, I mean if she you know, I know a lot of the girls who had sex with Half in the later later days, they're like, I bounced on it for ten grand a month four times, and a lot of women be like, I'd probably do that too. We've all done that. My point, my point, I.

Have not done that.

The opportunity I would bounce on Half for ten thousand a month, but my point, you're like, see you judge, So you think that the homeless man compliment has less value to you?

Most of the time they're in psychosis.

So what we're all in psychosis? You're drinking wine at eleven am Like.

Seriously, I am in We need some more work, okay, seriously?

Like like, who cares why they say it?

That's why if somebody tells you you're physically attractive to them, I get as a woman, it could come off it's threatening. It could and you're trying to be taken seriously in a business meeting. I get there's a lot of qualifiers. I get that some women would be like I only want to be saying this.

So you're looking at the compliment.

What if someone randomly walked up to you and said, Brian Howard, you're a fucking asshole.

Oh what, I guess you? I guess my reputation proceeded.

The point is are you supposed to react or are you supposed to go?

Oh?

I mean no, that's.

To the positive rather than the negative.

I didn't say you wouldn't react. I would react to the negative. I'd be like, what are you talking about? I would react to both.

But that's but that's what I'm saying. If why do I have to react to anything that I don't feel as sincere.

Is my You're guessing the sincerity and that's a dangerous game you're.

I asked him, Oh, jul are you sincere about your compliment?

Yeah? Why do that? Why do not you say thank you?

I will tell you.

And the odds of it being sincere, don't you think are much higher than the some people that's I don't know, But.

Times I do not know if I send that, And I think that's part of the problem that, like we all have had our shit to like, it becomes a problem in the next relationship and whatever. I don't think the seven to eleven man was homeless. He might have been partially homeless.

I don't know.

It did feel good, though, I will say I told, like all my friends at TIM like this was a really special moment.

In a moment when you need it at your worst and you want to and you're crying and your hair is a mess, and somebody thinks that.

That's such a pretty smile. It will change your fucking day.

I mean, if I wake up no makeup, hair a mess, and someone's like the.

Most yeah, time that a woman is at her most radiant, which is another good word, is in that sleepy half light of the morning, with her face a mess and her hair all over the place.

We love that, do they? Yes?

You?

Is her at her best? The makeup on the pillar that we love that.

That's a sincere compliment. Not a homeless guy going.

Well, he would give you that if he was in the bed with you.

Anything to get a warm meal.

Again, this is why, this is why society's breaking down. But I think that, look, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen is that six forty am did alarm go off? I agree, but most men think I'm not the only man who thinks this way. We love that you can look all dolled up for ball and you're going to look one kind of beautiful. But this is like you as you and that sun kind of coming in and we see that at least me again, And I'm no dummy.

I look at that as the painting r.

Are you well, I'm just saying that men are not encouraged to express that because you're most likely to hear like, oh my god, don't look at it, don't look at me.

I'm ugly. No I'm not.

You just want to sex with me again, So why would you want to date someone of that caliber when you're intellectually intelligent?

Whati what caliber are we talking about? The ability to give a compliment should be from any We're all the same.

But it's insincere if you don't. I would never if a man looked gorgeous to me, if he looked dropped dead gorgeous, I still wouldn't give him a compliment because I don't know who he is on the inside, And for me to give someone a compliment for me, I have to know who they are on the inside until actually right, Like.

That's fine, Yeah, I mean I hand him out.

Like I feel it's a sincere if they say it to me because they don't know me.

No, I know, I would rather say it than not. I'd rather err on the side. I think what you don't want to be is the only one in the room not complimented.

That would suck. Oh my god, you look amazing around high that you gotta be careful about that too. Yeah, I'm I'm but.

I wouldn't say it if you didn't mean it, Like if you give him all like ticks ex.

If you find a different compliment of somebody who you don't normally find attractive look good in a particular moment or day.

You have to say, oh my god, you look great today. Is there anything wrong with that? You look great today? No?

Well today?

Right? Okay?

Great today?

Is like that means she doesn't look good normally.

It is mine from That's what I'm That's what I'm saying. Who is it coming from the homeless dude or.

You're a coworker or ship. I don't care.

I give a ship.

Well, that happened to me the other day, and you're right, I rarely had accomplished and somebody goes, your hair looks good, and I go, doesn't it always.

Like I shot it down. I did the exact same thing.

That was not the way to respect because it was insincere and your o.

It was sincere.

I was not prepared to accept it, so I went to an insecure place the other The only choices for me were to shoot it down or say no.

Shit, those are my choices.

Thank you.

I wouldn't say thank you because I'm an asshole, but I would have been like, no fucking shit, I have great hair.

I think you're an asshole. Anymore.

Okay, right, Okay, we.

Evolve, but anyway, so we agree though that the highest compliment.

For a woman is gorgeous and stunning. Stunning is good too.

There's something that's stunning you.

Let would you take either one of those from your man and be happy?

Stunning? Beautiful, radiant?

Beautiful is okay?

And it's your man loves you?

Yeah, goddamn Fox, Oh.

I would never. That's where that's a little range.

I'd fucking love that, Fox. Fox.

That's because you were born in the sixties.

Yes, I was.

Okay, Well, maybe that was an term of endearment back in the seventies or something.

I think it's I think it's timeless.

Bottom line, like compliments, if they're sincere, I love them.

Tell me every day that.

She's a babe. Is that okay? You're such a babe? Is that okay?

I don't know what it mean. Are you twenty two?

Maybe?

What if a twenty two is a compliment different from a twenty two year old than a sixty two year old?

I think it does.

You're not quite on the contract.

If I'm a If I'm in a relationship and my other partner says to me, after you know I want you to be my little whore today in the bedroom, I'd be like fuck yeah.

Or is about action not appearance?

Yeah, but whore in the streets is like very I do not call me in the bedroom like yes.

Like okay, but nobody's gonna walk up and call you a whore in the streets. Maybe the homeless guy, maybe seven eleve. What do you want a compliment? I said this on a podcast recently, that a compliment from a from a gay man meant more to me. I said that a compliment, Yeah, I said that. So would a compliment for your thirty nine? Would a compliment from a twenty five year old mean more to.

You than a fifty five year old? Yes?

Yeah, matters Sorry, like I still got it boys exactly me too? Yes, yeah, me too, Because I think if you still a good to twenty six year old, eyes right, and you're not looked through that Barbara Walters filter, Like it's the same thing.

Walters was like seventy like really.

You know secret, she's fucking hot, hot body, Barbara Walters, the underrated older woman hots that I've been around.

Joan Rivers. Yeah, Barbara Walters, Yeah.

And this is gonna be a weird one to break out Princess Grace and she died a long time ago.

You even knew Princess Grace.

I used to go to church with Princess Grace and Harris and Jewish.

You are, oh, I.

Should qualify that I have a Jewish grandmother, So I guess that's like being a little and he gets along with you.

I'm very neurotic. I speak the language.

And when he's in Boca, do you identify with my crucifix around my now?

No, I identify as agnostic, which we all are anyway.

And that's another podcast, another podcast.

I've said that before, I pissed people off, and agnostic means I'm not sure, that's fine, fair enough.

I don't like atheists. They're too sure that there's nothing.

No atheists is like no atheists.

I know there's nothing.

We're all agnostics. We just don't like to admit it. That's another podcast. That's the only that's the third rail around here, the the the really religious people get mad when I say that that we're all the same. If you laid out, if you didn't know anything about any religions and you landed here and you read the Book of Mormon, you read the Church of Scientology, and you read the Bible.

They all seem equally insane.

Probably. I mean, I'm not that religious, so I can't.

But you're all kind of the same moments, but they're all kind of.

It means like I have comments. So we'll wait last night.

Tell everybody if you want them to where they can find you and tell you're pretty.

You can find me at Jane and Stella on Instagram and Dan tell me tell me I'm pretty, And I promise I will.

You'll take the DM compliment.

I will promise to to.

Is it dick pick a compliment?

It is atrocious?

Yeah, I will say that's that should be a podcast for you because that is something else.

You think we have done that podcast?

All right, Julie, I'm everywhere by Julie Lauren. I would absolutely appreciate a sincere compliment in my DMS any day of the week. I do a podcast Life Unscripted, but I haven't done it in a while. It used to be hashtag noo filter.

That's all that sucks. We're back to podcast. I know.

I know it's been a hot I've been going through shit, all.

Right, Okay, that's when you should podcast as far as us like, share, follow, Please review this podcast after four hundred and ninety nine episodes. By the way, yes podcast, your reviews still mean a lot on the podcasting ecosystem.

Is a defensive that you were four ninety hundred.

Or are you like, oh, I'm close enough to greatness?

Why why didn't we make the cut for five hundred?

You'll have to listen?

That's bullshit.

Shoot us an email Great Loved Debate at gmail dot com. If you want a compliment for me, send us your pictures.

We'll compliment you.

Or if you have questions, comments, or you think Fox is the greatest compliment ever because as always at the Great Love Debate, we never stopped making love.

See next time the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, degree

Love debate, It's agreed love Debate.