This is Pod Popular Podcast for the People, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the Great Love Debate.
It's a Great Love Debate.
Hi again, everyone's Brian. How We welcome to the Great Love Debate, the world's number one dating a relationship podcast. In twenty fifteen, I am back here in the very fine and fancy studios of Pod Popular Podcast for the People. I am the one in Palm Beach Gardens. I have not been here in a while. I do come to Florida a lot. I come to Florida a lot for business, and I gotta tell you, I still feel like every time I come to Florida, I feel like I'm landing
on vacation. Even though there's a lot of stuff in Florida. I don't like the traffic and I'm working most of the time. Florida does feel like vacation. And maybe that's the New Yorker in me. I don't know, especially in the winter time. Quick announcement, Our five hundredth podcast episode is a couple of weeks away. You guys send a bunch of submissions on what we should do about it. I have decided what we should do about it. I'm very excited about what we should do about it. It's
gonna be a special show. It's gonna be special to me. I have a very special guest. I think you guys are gonna like it. It's a little bit of looking back, it's a little bit of where we are now. It's a little bit of looking ahead. But I think you guys will like it. Today. I'm also excited we are
doing what. I put out a little apb on the socials, on the interwebs to you guys because I wanted to do what we're calling a second chance mail bag, which means we asked you guys for emails, social media posts, submissions about a relationship that may or may not have gone bad but it definitely ended and you get a chance to relive or change or take back things to possibly make it work out or last least a little longer. It's basically, you can back to the future style roll back,
and this is what you would have done. So this mail bag doesn't lend itself to some of the craziness of some of the listener letters we bring on. I have peaked at these. There's a sense of sweetness to a few of them, and because I needed a little extra touch of sweetness to help me out. I brought in somebody who I think is reasonable. I think she's level headed. It's been married a long long time. She's filled with logic. Who could help you guys out in
a way that I could not. She's the host of the wildly popular Cinnamon Effect podcast, which I was lucky and privileged enough to be on last year. Last year. Yeah, I always say, we noticed the blonde, but we remember the redhead. Kimberly hand, how are.
You hey, I'm good. How are you, Brian good?
Welcome, Thanks, you welcome the Great Love Debate. So you kind of get the gist of what we're going to do here today.
Yes, and I hope that I'm reasonable, reasonable enough.
For you or you might be wildly controversial. I don't know, As Sinatra saying, you know regrets, I've had a few, but that again too few to mention.
We shall see.
I read the letters.
They've not read the letters, so we got we always picked three from the men and three from the women. We don't have to agree with each other. We don't have to agree with them. You're just going to give your take on what you think they should have done what you would have done. I don't know you ready, I'm ready, Okay. The first one is from Lilyan via our Facebook page. She facebooked it to us. I dated this guy back in Chicago. He was great, We were great,
Everything was great. The only issue was our dietary differences. He was a typical frat boy meat eater. He practically ate ribs for breakfast. He was in good shape, was out, but I was in a phase where I was all about healthy, worked out three times a day, and was a strict vegetarian. And it became an issue where I felt like we couldn't share meals or go out to dinner, which broke down some of our communication, and he refused to mix in something like a salad once in a while.
Well fast forward five years after we broke up for health reasons, I needed more protein and honestly, I absolutely love pork, chicken, beef, just about everything he ate every single day. I wish I wasn't so stubborn then, and I wish I had a chance to eat an Italian beef sandwich with him. Oh No, See that does that happens a lot where people want the other person's journey habits superstition lifestyle to match theirs perfectly. They drink a lot. I want to drink a lot. There this, they're this.
They like to watch the Chicago Bulls. I like to watch the Chicago bulls. If the smell of meat bothered you and he insisted on, you know, firing up the barbecue, that's one thing. But if you thought that this was really a deal breaker, and now you're looking back, it's like, I want to share meat with him. Ay, I think you miss other things besides the meat, but b yeah, don't break up over that.
No. I feel like I actually have a lot to say on this topic. It was like the perfect listener letter for me to answer because I've been vegan, I've been vegetarian, I've I am now a meat eater. And when I was vegan, I didn't expect I made a lot of like vegan dishes, but I didn't expect my husband, you know, to follow along. I knew it was something kind of different, and my husband's a hunter, so he was not giving up the meat and I was totally
okay with it. I think this is like a case of you do you you know I'm going to now I'm gluten free. I don't drink alcohol, so I'm still following kind of a different rule for my own life. And I think you have to let people be on their own journey. And so I get that she might be feeling regretful about breaking up with him, because you.
See, you don't have to be so rigid.
You don't to be rigid with yourself, but don't be rigid with your significant other.
Yeah, I agree, it's not it's not happening in the way you want it to. In the moment, you want everything to be absolutely perfect, and so the meat at the time might have been a metaphor for something else that bothered you. And maybe as you've grown older, maybe it really isn't about the meat. You've gotten some distance
from the situation, things tend to happen again. Maybe you're looking at it like it was just the meat, and maybe he did a whole lot of other things, and you're, you know, single in Chicago, and I don't know, you know, sometimes we want to pick out that one thing, and maybe that one thing is the one thing. So I could see kind of both sides of this, where you think, oh, all I had to do is go back and eat
meat and everything would have been fine. I think if everything was fine besides the meat, maybe she would have done that. I don't know.
A great point. That's a great point. She's really going to break up with him because he's, you know, eating meat ribs for breakfast.
If you don't have to touch the meat, I.
Might break up with him if you had ribs for breakfast, and I love ribs. That's a little excessed.
I worked at a barbecue restaurant when I was in You did college, and so I haven't eaten a rib.
Since you were a former NFL cheerleader. Is that correct? Yes? What were there? Was it like they say they weighed you and all that, or wasn't that strict?
Yeah? It was pretty strict.
Yeah.
Have you seen the Netflix Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader? I have special It's pretty.
Much like that.
So you really do get a good.
Snapshot of what that whole experience is like through that show.
The cheerleaders don't have to do the a lot of little bit of the meat and greets that they used to because the guys used to get grabby. The guys used to like put their hand around you and grab the little where a normal girl would have a little muffin top. The cheerleaders do not they would do that right.
Well, we usually had someone there that would keep people started, to keep people at a distance, you know, a little bit, keep hands off.
But I did have to stop.
I was in my uniform and I did have to stop somewhere for gas. And it was amazing that people really, you know, want to come up to you. They want to you know. It was an interesting kind of experience of being somewhat known, but you're not because you take the uniform off and then nobody knows.
Who you are. Well, sometimes that happens with the players too. Yeah, anyway, all right, the next one, this is uh is from a guy I will not reveal who. First, I really had the best girl. She was amazing, beautiful, fun, smart, and I thought she would move with me when I took a dream upper tunity with a company in Seattle. We lived in the Bay Area at the time, not that big of a difference, and I thought she would
come with me. She said her family was nearby in the San Francisco area, so she didn't want to leave anyway. I left for the job that di has became too much. Our plans of seeing each other every weekend soon turned into once a month, and then every other month. We broke up, and the guy who recruited me to the company quit and the job turned out to absolutely suck. Took a year for all that to happen, but it only took her a month to start dating someone else.
And now I hear she's moving with him to Atlanta. I guess I either wish I never took this job, wish I didn't leave her, or wish I had an opportunity in Atlanta that's been still in Seattle, he says. Oh. Boy, First of all, San Francisco, the Bay Area is not Seattle. They're different. Now that being said, there are hour and a half away. But I'm somebody who would never choose the job over the girl. But I've never really had a job, so maybe I don't know.
I couldn't move to Seattle. I'm sorry.
The kicker at the end was she maybe her parents have died. I don't know her family.
She did move to Atlanta, Yeah, but Atlanta's totally different than Seattle.
I mean, she was willing to leave her family.
Oh okay, okay, that's that's.
That's the thing that she couldn't leave because of that. But then she did leave. That's the that's theh at the end of this. His regret is like she didn't really it wasn't the family. She just didn't feel comfortable that this was the guy to pack up and leave for. Yes, especially because he was clearly going to take the job. So part of that is the conversation. Was there a I won't leave if this affects us. You know what, what was the conversation?
Again, It's not about the meat, right, It's not about Maybe it wasn't about the place. It was more about other issues or you know, it was more about her not wanting to be with him than than the move itself.
Right, Or she's like being him every other weekend or whatever. I can make that work. Yeah, And then the logistics of that are tough because you don't you know, relationship really is about Tuesday morning, not Saturday night. And if you're just visiting on the weekend, and that's always fun and it's always special, it's kind of easy to make that work when you both have to get up for work and go to school and kids and whatever your
stuff is, and on a weekday, that's a relationship. So you don't really get into that flow in a real feel of things when you're just kind of seeing somebody twice a month, and then you've seen somebody you know twenty times a year, and then where are you going?
You've probably done that. I feel like you've done that.
I have done that, and I'm always aware of it. It really takes confidence communications. I'm not saying long distance relationships can't work. I'm saying that you don't really know if you're dating somebody until you spend weekdays.
Completely agree mornings with them.
I did a lot of long distance with my now husband when we were dating. He had a business in another state, and it was really hard because I had my own life. I basically had my own life. And then, like you're saying, on the weekend and I'd have him and yeah, it was fun, And then you're like, Okay, what is this?
Is this going anywhere?
Are we really compatible when we spend more time together, And what we still realize twenty years later is that we like having some alone time.
We like to like.
Once it was great, she's gone in four day bursts, you know, perfect kind I kind of liked it. But you're right, the long distance relationship is. It's tricky. Maybe she wasn't up for it then and a year later, maybe she's the guy made her come. I mean, people can. I don't know how old you are, Ben, or how old she is, but people can rapidly grow up in their twenties and thirties. And bike bulbs gonna happen, and and and whatever. I'm on her side. I don't know
I should take sides here, Ben, Like too bad. You shouldn't left. You shouldn't have left without really figuring out how this is gonna work. Not like hey, I'm leaving. See I'll fly you up a couple times, like I feel like you watch this Ben?
Oh Ben.
I do think though, Ben, if it's meant to be, you will find your way back to each other. I really do believe that. Like set it free when they say about love, set it free, if it comes back to you, she is free. She's in Atlanta, she's with another guy. But if it's meant to be, they will find their way back to each other.
You know what you do. Statistically, that might not work out either, if she doesn't marry the Atlanta guy. You wait it out, and you moved to Atlanta because if you moved to Atlanta for her, that would mean something to me or to you. Might be crazy stalker, I already broke up with you kind of thing. But I don't know. I say, I say go for it, I would go for it.
I would go for it too, all right, track her down?
I like that. The next one, this is from Verra via Facebook page. Again. Oh Jesus, if I had a second chance, I would have gone back in time and screwed my upstairs neighbor earlier. Then I would have realized what great sex did for my confidence and self esteem, not to mention my body, and I would have left the loser. I was with a lot quicker instead of finding excuses to sneak away while he played video games.
Wait, so she got with the upstairs name.
Yeah, she wished she had started that earlier. I don't know if she ended up with him, but I guess she's She would have lowed. I say that a lot. I, you know, not about screwing the upstairs neighbor. People. When I moved from New York to LA, people ask me like, when when did you move to LA? Or why decide to move to LA? Do you have any regrets? And I go. My only regret is I didn't leave earlier. I wish I left New York quicker. After nine to eleven,
I'm like, I'm never leaving. I was one of those like I'm here and whatever, and then three years later I was gone. Yeah, it was a great move for me, and I thought that all the time, like I wish I had done something quicker. You always wish you would break up with somebody quicker, Always comment quicker. If it got to the point where you were sneaking the minute you think I need to sneak away because he's playing
video games, the conversation needs to happen before the sneak away. Yeah, don't just leave with the video games and go bang the neighbor and then let that go on, Like sit down and say, like, if you continue to do this, I'm gonna go visit the neighbor. Yeah.
Yeah, I definitely think like this cheating is not the answer. Ever, I get it. Video games would annoy me too. I think like a grown man playing video games, I'm sorry.
You could do it a little bit.
If you have a child, it makes more sense maybe you're playing video games together, But a grown man who's really into video games.
I'm sorry.
It is an ongoing problem. When we do married Great Love debate shows, it is the number one thing that comes up. Video games im porn. The reason why these men play them, at least my analysis of it, is because they feel like they are losing in lots of other aspects of their life, including the relationship, and they feel like I can win at this, I can escape in this, and there's a score I can get, and there are levels I can achieve that I'm not getting
in my personal life. So you always have to look at like, why are they playing the video games? What is about the video games that is stimulating in a way that clearly she has a sex drive cannot You know, you have to look at the video games as the symptom problem. So don't do that, Verra again, don't go back in time and start screwing them earlier. Go back in time and say I wish I had the conversation about the video game. Yes, does that make sense?
Don't repeat the pattern because what if the upstairs name, upstairs.
Neighbor, certainly he likes PlayStation, Yeah, he's.
Doing video games, or he's doing something else you don't like, yeah, and you're gonna move on to the downstairs neighbor.
You know, I know you need to move to a different building, or maybe we all need to move to your building. I don't know, I could get messyes, just in case we need to play pay the rent at Vera's building. We have to take a quick break because I'm gonna pay the bills around here. I'm with Kimberly Hand. We are breaking down the Second Chance mailbag and we will be back right after this. And we are back all right. The next one is from JR. In Orlando.
Hey, JR.
I was on a first date with a girl last year. It was amazing. We ended up at some dive bar at three am, playing eighty songs on the jukebox and comparing favorites. She picked the song only You by Yaz and said, if we ever got serious, this was going to be our song. I didn't pay any attention to it. I just kind of wanted to make out with her, which I did, and we started dating. Three months later. She asked if I remembered that night. I said, of course,
and she said what is our song? And I couldn't remember, and said every rose has its thorn As a joke, she didn't think it was funny. She reminded me of the song and said she couldn't trust me to remember things that are important to her. I guess she might have been a bit crazy, But if I had to do it again, I might not have remembered her song, but I would have maybe picked nineties music.
At least he didn't pick Witchy Woman.
Well, I know that's true. Only use a good song. But it's a little obscure, like if you don't know that song, who's yaz I was?
I'm eighties and I am not sure of that.
I know we're gonna maybe we'll google it. Everybody. I'm gonna pull up a little clip while we continue to talk about that, so.
Glad to hear the song.
Okay, so what what do you think the That's a tough one for her to call back. He could just say them like, oh my god, I was drunk, I don't remember. But I also see her point. She that's a if a girl said that to me on a first date, I'm the kind of guy that would like that. Some guys will be freaked out. I'm the kind of guy who likes the girl seeing what Howie looks like in her in her penmanship on the first date. I want them to think optimistically. You know, I'm that person,
but some people, you know. So she was trying to be like, this is gonna be our song. I think it's sweet. I like it. I think I would remember, Yeah, I've had girls on first dates walk me by a jewelry store and say this is the kind of rings I like. I just think it's fun and playful. I don't think, well, I don't. I'm okay with that. I get it's not for everybody, but I know you're this song hold.
On, keep yeah, I think okay, let's hear this.
It's a rights violation.
Like okay, First of all, that's kind of a terrible song, to be honest.
It's a little slow, but it's only you. It's kind of sweet. I get it. But if you're not familiar with that song, there's no way you would remember three months down the road, if you were drinking at a jukebox or whatever. There's no way you didn't pick something. You know, you didn't pick Billy Jean, like, you didn't pick like something song that everybody's gonna know and remember, yeah, don't. I mean, she's wrong. He fucked up. She was probably
always gonna look for something to catch him in. Maybe she was setting that trap. I don't know. I think it's sweet, the idea of it. You can't break up with him over it, you gotta give him another shit.
I think it's a little a little unrealistic. I think she was a little over the top in breaking up with him. I mean again, it's not about the song. I think it's not about.
The is or something for something else. Yeah, this is like, listen, we're not perfect. Everybody's gonna if the whole thing was a test and you were plotting this out and he failed the test, that's a rough test. Because that song, although I know it, I might not remember three months later.
I love music, I love concerts, I love I love Yeah, I know the artists and names of songs like I'm good at that stuff. I don't know about that. That is so obscure.
Never married a song, And I guarantee you we could bring in many, many happily married couples right now who cannot one or both of them cannot remember the song they dance do with your wedding.
Yes, I would completely agree.
I went to my cousin's, my cousin's daughter who's still my cousin, wedding a few weeks ago, and she walked, when you walk down the aisle, that's what's it called? When you leave? What's the exit song called? When you're now bride and grew? When you walk down what is that called? She walked out to shook me all night long? Ohe The look on my cousin her father's face was like, oh my god, the best damn woman that I've ever seen.
Like she owned it. It was fucking badass. And I was like, I know, and I was wondering if her husband, the new groom, I'm like, can you handle her? So? But I was like, people have raised some eyebrows, but it was like, good for her. Yeah, keep cranky ezy DC to walk out of that. I love that ceremony. Do you know what?
You make your own roles and do something spunky. We danced to Aerosmith's Crazy was our first dance, which is.
Crazy and amazing or kind of the same song with their difference.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not a singer, but oh that was good.
I don't need to fire that up. You did justice, Yeah, you remember, but a lot of couples probably wouldn't remember, and he was drunk and it was three am, and you're a jukebox and you're trying to kiss her like you're pretty much you know, gonna say what, yes, I'll remember a song whatever, Like I'm sorry about I appreciate the gesture by her that she was willing to pick a song. That's the nutty romantic in me. I like that, But also like, give them a fucking break. You know.
First state you're nervous. I know, likervous.
I might not even remember the girl's name, and that doesn't mean I don't like her.
Yeah, you were too busy.
Bearing her beautiful blue eyes exactly, you know, all right. Next one, this is from Penny from Don't Try to Find Me.
Okay, oh Penny, Okay, okay.
I didn't think I wanted kids. I knew they were important to him. I just didn't think at that point in my life and career it was the right time. And I was pretty sure I never wanted them at all. So we broke up because I knew he wanted to be a dad. Anyway. Three months after we broke up, I got pregnant, kept the baby, didn't stay with the father very long. But I love being a mom more than anything in the world. I have a stay at
home job, my mom lives nearby to help out. I have everything, but the guy, and that guy was the right guy. He is dating somebody else now. I'm sure they're going to settle down. Just wish I knew then what I know now, we would have been one happy family.
That feels like a knife in the heart. That feels I know.
You know, so I've been I talked about this a few times. People always say to me, like, didn't you ever want kids? Because I don't have kids, And my answer was always like, if she wanted kids, I would have had kids. Whoever the she would have bet at the time, And people are like, well, what does that mean?
Is it her decision? I go because if she says she doesn't want kids and I love her, I have to be prepared that she's going to change her mind, which happens a lot a lot of women at like twenty nine, when they're having fun and they love their body, they don't want to have it, and then they change their mind. I to be prepared for that, And I also feeled I always had to be prepared for the possibility that she just couldn't have them, or I couldn't
have them, or we couldn't have them. If you're getting married and the only thing is like if we don't have kids, this whole thing's going to fall apart. I've always had issues with that. Is that wrong to have issues with that? Like, I'm not going to divorce you because you can't have kids, and I wouldn't want to
be divorced because my sperm count was low. You know, I don't know, but if that is your image of I don't know on this because I'm somebody who didn't have kids because mostly idated girls who didn't want kids.
Yeah, I think if you can't if you're in a relationship and you can't have kids, you're in that journey together. But if you're in a relationship and one person really knows that they have always wanted to be a mother or a father and you're with somebody who doesn't, yeah, I think you I think I would move I would move on to somebody else.
If I thought.
I think people change their minds. I think you're right.
I did change my mind actually, from.
Not wanting them to want them. Yeah, well, you're in cheerleader it's tough to be a cheerleader with a belly.
Well, I mean this was way later, but so I ended up having you know, my son at thirty Well, I was almost thirty seven, so I did wait quite a while. Best decision I ever made. I mean, that's not the point of this, but it was like, how long were you married first along? Well, I was with him almost ten years and we were we were married about six seven.
And not to get too much in your personal life, was it an ongoing discussion do we want to have kids?
It was kind of funny.
I don't.
I don't drink alcohol now, but we were at we were in Napa out A vineyards and we'd had a lot of red wine and there was a concert going on and this guy was singing. The artist was Billy Dean and he was singing about when they were little. I think it was the name of the song, about you know, kids being little and you know all this stuff. And I looked at my husband, and you know, it was probably the wine talking, but I was like.
I want a baby, and he was like what.
Like this guy, you know, kind of came out of nowhere but started the conversation, and I really stuck.
With that, you know.
And how old were you then?
I was thirty. I was probably thirty five, thirty five and a half.
That's when those voices happened.
Yes, yes, so I think it depends the age.
I agree with you, like it could happen, you know, there is And again, this is the most complicated conversation anybody could have, So I don't really like to dive to be into it. But sometimes it's hard to have a baby, and sometimes it's hard to you know. And so most men want to be dads because it's a really good gig compared to being a mom. I think most moms want to be moms. Being a dad is a great gig. It's one hundred percent approval rating. I
have never met a dad who didn't like it. Yeah, I've met some moms who are just so buried in the muck that they can't even see straight. But the dad's always like it, you know, And you have to decide how important that is. If he was harping on it all the time, like I out of have kids or whatever, and you know, maybe she just wasn't ready to make that decision until she was faced with it. And she gets knocked up and has the kid and whatever, and he moved on. I know this is this is
one is both sweet and heartbreaking. But you love being a mom, yes, and so you got some love there. Maybe this guy isn't the guy, like move on? You know.
Motherhood is her journey honestly, because she's now a mom, she loves it. Yeah, there's a whole nother if she were to try and get that guy back. Maybe she really thinks he's the one and wants to get him back. Now he's a stepfather to someone else's child.
Is she willing to have another child with him?
Yeah? Complicated dynamics. Do you want to? Or you're like, we're good with this kid by this other random? Yeah, I guess he's a random. He's not around anymore. That guy. Yeah, that guy. It's a different dynamic. Penny. I feel for you, but I'm mostly like, congrats. If you love being a mom more than anything in the world, just be grateful.
Penny, lean into being a mom and focus on that, and I think the right partner will come into play.
Yeah, and Penny, when you sign your thing, don't try to find me. That's a little surly, you know, Like, what are you doing like you should be open to Maybe he can't find you either. I don't know what you're signing that for. We're sweet, we agreed with you, we gave you a little, we sprinkled you with the cinnamon effect, and then you give me that.
Well, that's bad function because if you do want love, you don't sign don't try and find me.
Yeah, you should say open to the world.
That's just like a bad, bad message going out there, all right.
Last one, you know that game where you give each other a hall pass about a hypothetical situation where you infest one person who would you like to sleep with who isn't your partner? Well, we played that game and I mentioned her old roommate from junior year. So yes, we met in college, but we didn't actually start dating until ten years later. We reconnected a reunion, so who cares about her old college roommate. Anyway, she was furious and we broke up over it. My regret isn't that
I told her who my hall pass was. My regret is that I didn't try harder for the roommate back in the day. Michael from University of Oregon class of twenty twelve.
Wow, okay, throwing it out there.
The hall pass game is dangerous. The fantasy thing is dangerous unless you have something weird, and even that might be dangerous. I had a girlfriend asked me once, who is my person? And I said, Elizabeth Vargas, like the news chick from my twenty twenty.
Okay, interesting toys.
I like it though, right, Yeah, And she just thought I was weird. It doesn't matter. I like her. It's pretty. She was drunk at the time, and she used to live with myghborhood'd see he around. She read the news. I had like a Newswoman thing, okay, and she only wanted to talk about what in the world. She doesn't look anything like me? What like? She was so not bothered by the choice. But she's like, I don't know you at all.
Yeah, I think she was.
You say, like Jennifer Aniston, like every other guy, And I'm like, no, I'm picking the at the time, like fifty two year old news chick.
Okay. I can tell you that I do think as a woman, you want your partner to pick someone who is kind of like you in your weird right kind of rationale.
That making it better.
I also think you never choose someone who is the least bit tangible. I mean, were you really going to go get with Elizabeth Fargus? I mean maybe, yes, Okay.
Yes, I absolutely could get Elizabeth Fargus. No, I don't, sorry, but like, did you know her? I had access to.
Her because she was in your neighborhood.
Yeah, and I knew people who worked at the news.
Okay, So I think, like Fargus, if the hall pass is like someone you work with or like a friend's best friend, I think that's dangerous territory.
But you don't go there a ten year like if they started dating in college when they were all together, and then that was his regret. These two didn't start dating. They met again at a ten year reunion, and then he's like, I always liked your roommate back, and now I'm saying it out loud, it seems a little weird. So you just I know, how close is she to the roommate? Are they still friends? Is it ten years ago?
I don't think you can play that game if you're unless you're prepared to deal with the consequences of the answers.
And then when you're verbalizing it.
I mean, maybe that's like what you really want, But I say, always go celebrity hall.
Yeah, because it's not realistic. But a lot of the girls that I have dated, I think they could get the rock. Yeah, sorry, whoever example is, you know, maybe not like Brad Pitt, but there's certain people. I'm like, oh shit, she's hot. He probably would go for her. I guess I have to stay out of Nashville, you know, Like well.
Now with social media, I mean you you can get out.
Just anybody there. You got famous people marrying regular people.
So it's a dangerous. I kind of love that for regular it's a day.
Have you ever played this game?
Yes, I don't know if I'm permitted to say all that can say.
No, it's it's not like I mean, it's not like I ever said like, yeah, that's okay. I think at one point he said like Angelina Jolie or something like that, you.
Know, which you think like, yeah, nice, see I.
Would think that's boring. Yeah, good luck with that. Yeah she would. You don't want right, just have fun? Right? And what did you say or you can't say?
Oh gosh, I mean do I say.
You say I say on the air gave his away?
Yeah, uh, I think John Mayer.
You knew this about me?
I think no, I didn't. But that makes you know he's he gets the chicks, he's got the guitar.
He's got to get.
See. That's the thing. I think if you met John Mayor, you could get John Mayer. That's the thing. No offense to your husband. I don't think you can get Angelina Joelee. That is see that is where that's a conversation. So now he's looking, he's suddenly your body's in Wonderland comes on the radio. He's a look on your face. That's that's why it's a stagerous game.
Yeah, I think you just don't.
I think you just shouldn't play it.
You know, I think you shouldn't play it either. If you're going to play it, don't have somebody that immediate that she knows that you could that you could track down. Yeah, clearly all he went to college together, go ducks, you know, in twenty twelve, like it's not that far removed. Another thing is I would judge on how quickly they answered the question. I think every instance, if he instantly said, oh my hope, it would be your old roommate from
ten years ago. If you answer that real quick. Yeah, that shows regret. That shows I've been thinking about her. No, no, no, you need to take some time and really think about it. Yeah.
You know, have you ever had someone ask you I remember someone that asking me which one of my friends would you hook up with if you had to?
And I'm like, oh god, none of us the only right answer.
No, but I agree. I used to have a girlfriend who would ask me to drive her friend home drunk all the time. She goes, you need to take care of Bridget, And it was really just a test because Bridget was her hottest friend. And it's always this like weird test, Like I'm like, what are you trying to do? Want me to hook up with Bridget? Like why do you keep doing this? Bridget is fine? I hate taking
Bridget home. I know what you're doing here. She's like, no, we're just good friends of hers and you need to take care of her. How can we never come with me? The whole thing is weird.
First of all, Bridget is definitely hooking up just by her name. I can do a bridge is down.
But you know these people do play You know, you try not to play games. You're not trying not to have the answer too quick. You're trying not to, but it is little dangerous. I had a girl come up to me. And I did a great love debate show in Charlotte and two girls come up to me. One of them was a fan of mine. The other one says, I have no idea who you are, but I really have a thing for Mark Ruffalo. And if I'm drunk enough, I can pretend that you are him.
I see that in you. We're not ideot. That was her.
That was her. You guys know what I look like? That was her line. Like, I can pretend if I get wasted and I'm like, what are we doing here? Girls? You know, I'm like, know to the fan and know to the weird Mark Ruffalo fetish, because that would just make me feel like we never And I'm like stunt, double drunk Mark Ruffalo sex guy, and I'm like, may we're good here, Chris have a drake?
Oh my god. I love that.
I love that for you.
Yeah, but I don't want it like that. I want to like like me, not you, like, oh, you look kind of like somebody that I like better.
You know what, they like a type and you kind of fit that type. I mean, I feel like it's not that bad.
Okay, I suppose that's worse. But Mark Ruffalo never gets the girl in any movie. Yeah he doesn't. He's like the friend of the lesbian couple. And or he's a cop. Yeah, he's not a cop.
It's kind of a loof.
Yeah, it's kind of clumpy and mighty. It's not a compliment. I like him though, people like him, but you know, no, we want to state him anyway. This was fun, This is fairly painless. Some will agree with some we don't, and some of you guys just have to move on.
Yes, Unfortunately, you know, if it's meant to be, it will be. I I definitely know that sounds cheesy, and you know, but I do think if it's meant to be, it will be. But yeah, some of you, you you kind of made a choice. You made your bed. You've got to lie in.
It, right, all right, It's been a long time since you have been single. We play something called worst date or first date, so you have to have to think back to your swing in single days and either give us the worst date you've ever had or the best first date you've ever had, and that could be with your husband. I don't care your choice.
Okay, this first date, my husband, we went to.
Director jukebox and you picked only you and said to him.
Oh, I love a jew box.
I'm always like at the jew box. But no, I don't think there was like a particular song I remember. But the restaurant is actually local because I'm born and raised here. He's born and raised here. And we connected later on. I was twenty four and he was twenty nine. But we went to this restaurant that's still the location is still in town. It's changed hands a bunch of times.
But we closed, literally closed the restaurant down. And it was kind of a blind date because even though we had known each other our whole lives because our families were friends, we had not seen each other in a long time since I was like sixteen and he was twenty one.
So at this.
Time flash forward, it's eight years later. We go on the date and we didn't really know. I didn't know what he was going to look like. He didn't know what I was going to look like. But we kind of, you know, connected over the phone and got re acquainted and went to dinner and literally were there probably four hours. We closed the restaurant down they were putting. I remember all of a sudden looking up from likeable chairs on the tables, and that was like, good for you.
That was it.
Yeah, And I called my friend from the bathroom and I said, he will be my husband.
I already knew he was going to be my husband.
Shared to that I had this like weird intuition about it, which is very much me.
When did you tell him that part of it? Oh?
No, not for a while.
I was just like, I'm going to try it.
I want to hear that when you get out of the bathroom. I want to hear it right away. Cool, but he ken.
But he did say later on, you were in the bathroom kind of a lot, like a long time, and I would call, you know, would somebody get on the phone with me, like it's nervous.
I was amazing, this is going so.
Well, it's amazing, this is my husband.
And they were like, whoa, okay, really you know, calm down, but yeah, best first date.
That's a good date. Do you ride by that place ever? Oh?
Yeah, I go we go there.
You know where's it?
Well? It was the it was Red Fire Grill in Palmeach Gardens. It's now stage.
That was the location of the first Were you outside no?
Inside?
Inside?
Yeah, you've lived here your whole life.
Moved away once.
But have you ever had a driver's license that is in Florida? No?
Wow, No, I'm a Florida girl, through and through Palm Beach County.
A lot of people leave New York and they never go back. A lot of people leave Florida and a lot of them come back.
Yes, because you realize, like I mean, summertimes, they're.
Hot, but weather it's a seductive muse.
Yes, right now it feels like vacation.
I know it does.
That's so nice.
It's the season. Tell everybody about your podcast and how they can find your podcast.
Okay, of course the cinemon effect. I what we talk about is things that make life healthier, sweeter, more fulfilling. So we enhance, you know, I think with the topics that we talk about, we enhance the core areas of life with intention. So it's it's a whole.
Lot of things.
It's health and wellness, it's fitness, it's lifestyle, it's travel, it's you know, lots of things.
It is. It's a good show. I was on it and you asked questions that are that are smart and sightful and they make you think and I'm proud of you. It's a good show on the socials. Can anybody track you down?
Yes?
So I have at kimberly Hand underscore on Instagram.
I know that pass score on the back end.
On the back end because there's apparently another kimberly Hand out there.
Who is she? I don't know.
And then I do have The Cinnamon Effect podcast Instagram as well and Kimberlyhand dot com the Cinnamon Effect dot com.
There you go, blowing it up. Track her now you were lovely. I appreciate you doing this as far as us like, share, follow, Please review this podcast and The Cinnamon Effect. Your reviews, still after almost five hundred shows,
mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. Shoot me an email, great love debate at gmail dot com if you have a question comment thought for me Kimberly or you disagree with some of the things we said, you're wrong, but you can disagree, or if you really or if you really like only you by Yaz sorry because because it's big in Britain, if you go over to London now they still play that song part of the whole English revival because, as always at the Great Love Debate, we
never stopped making love. See you next time, the Great Love Debate. It's the Great love Debate, the Great love Debate.
It's a great love to be