Welcome to the Good Stuff.
I'm Jacob Shick and I'm joined by my co host and wife, Ashley Shick.
Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a gold Star granddaughter. We work together to serve military veterans, first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy.
At One Tribe Foundation, we.
Believe everyone has a story to tell, not only about the peaks, but also the valleys they've been through to get them to where they are today.
Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story, to share with us the lessons they've learned that shaped who they are and what they're doing to pay it forward and give back.
Our mission with this show is to dig deep into our guest journey so that we can celebrate the hope and inspiration their story has to offer.
We're thrilled you're joining us again.
Welcome to the Good Stuff.
We're so excited for today's show because our guest is Roy Tuscany. He was a professional skier and is the founder of the High Fives Foundation, which provides hope and resources for athletes with life altering injuries. From all walks of life. He's such an inspiration to us on so many levels. He's a dear friend of ours and we are excited to bring our conversation with him to you today.
From a skiing accident that left him paralyzed to excessive drinking and alcoholism, like so many of us at some point in our lives, he found himself in a very dark place, and because of his strength to press on and through many lessons learned, he's now on a path to live life to the fullest while being completely present. Now, please keep in mind that Roy is a true friend. In this conversation, we drop more than one F bomb, so if that is something you're sensitive to, please keep
your ear muffs handy. But I promise you this story will touch your soul.
We are so excited today to have our good friend. He's the founder of High Fives Foundation, a father, a husband, and just a really great dude. Roy Tuscany, thank you so much for joining us here on the Good Stuff.
Oh good day to you.
What a great name for a podcast too, And well, we'll make sure we use the word good a lot today, more than the words we sometimes find in our fun talks.
Absolutely Roy. I mean we go way back, like Cadillac seats and you know, man, my brother from another mother.
We're so excited to share your story with our audience, which really starts in your childhood.
You grew up in Vermont.
I did.
I grew up in Vermont. Every moment I was trying to be outside, and outdoors was everything. And we got a lot of snow. I remember as a kid, we got way more snow than we got now. I think it was also so shorter. But I remember, like in third grade, my mom like I had nothing to do in the winter. I was terrible at basketball. I was about forty two pounds in third grade. And my mom's like, all right, you need to pick a sport, and you can pick this afternoon ski program or you can play hockey.
And I remember that moment my mom said hockey, like I got this envision of like three dudes that in third grade were like the size of Jake, and I was like the math and I just remember just like the word like smear. That's all I could think about was smear, and I thought that's how hockey was gonna go for me. I mean, I'm a huge hockey fan now, like let's go Bruins and the VM Catamounts where I went to college. I'm a huge follower of their hockey program. But God, hockey is not for me.
So you clearly chose skiing. And what a great thing that you did. Tell us about that.
I remember going the first night and you know, third grader goes up there. All my buddies had skied, and I was like, oh, I'll just hang out with my friends, Like skiing can't be that hard, it can't be that challenging. I'd ice skated, I'd played basketball and baseball. I mean, what are we talking about here? And I got to the top of the lift and my buddies were like, all right, let's go. And I was like in my like bamby legs, like knees are buckling in all that.
And the next thing I know, I look up and they're gone, and you know, I'm like, all right.
Cool, Like what should I do?
And you know, being intuitive, I saw a sign that said practice slope.
I was like, oh, let's go practice. Like sounds good. Alan Iverson doesn't believe in it, but like I do.
And you know, got to the top of the practice slope and realized that it was the practice slope for ski racing, incredibly steep.
You know.
I barely got there, and I remember this vividly. And it's night skiing too, so it's dark, and it's like so you go from like light to dark to light to dark. So now sitting on top of this hill looking and I'm like, all right, I gotta make it down to the base. Like if I get there, I'm home, and like maybe skiing isn't for me. And I just pointed it, and you know, I was like, all right, I'll figure out how to stop. And I didn't, and I just went straight and the bamby legs like went away.
I like got into this like structural standset.
Unfortunately, I think I froze and I couldn't get out of I took that positioning all the way into the base lodge. And I hit that base lodge at like forty miles how or like a linebacker, and like took it sideways and like and then dropped to the ground and like I'm not even kidding, like cartoonish like snow from the roof like came.
And fell on me.
And I remember looking up and my buddy's dad's there and he like dust me off, and he's like, hey, you're coming with me, and he's like, I'm gonna make sure you understand how to ski, and he like dragged me over to the beginner area. And for the next like four weeks, I freaking pizza and French fried until I like escape, and then from there I just just started skiing and loving it. But oh my gosh, that that first introduction was definitely.
Rough baptism by fire. Truly, that is amazing.
You know, I could totally envision young.
Roy and then down the mountain and then like, Okay, well this might hurt a little.
Bit, but this is also going to be my life's past, you know what.
And that's why I told the boys Roy all the time.
And you see him climbing on stuff or doing dumb stuff.
You know, you're dad, and it's like, hey, trust me when I tell you that at some point, gravity will inevitably win.
Oh my god, I can't wait to you know, try to explain gravity to Gunner. The alliteration alone is nice, gravity Gunner. But I'll tell you what, Like I have tried so hard for so many years to defy gravity, and I will tell you what.
It always wins gravity.
No matter what you do, it always wins, and like it has a decision of how hard it wants you to remember how powerful it is. It's it's like mother Ocean, like when you go out in the waves and like all of a sudden you're like, oh, this isn't so bad, and then like you're like, I love this, and then out of nowhere's rogue wave comes in. Oh gosh, what just you have like sand coming out of every orifice.
Really exactly clearly that day a love was born for skiing.
Yeah, I mean it hit me literally like a hammer, Yeah, it really did.
But I think it was really like that learning process and like I think, like I remember like how fast it came once they gave me a couple techniques of little things to practice understand, and then from there, I mean, that's all I did. I mean legitimately, Like in high school, I didn't go to parties because I wanted to go skiing on all the days. In college, like my schedules, I had classes on Tuesday Thursdays. I'd leave campus on Thursdays and go ski everywhere.
From you know, Friday to Monday.
And it was just like it was a vehicle to get me to a place that I wanted to go, and then ultimately, you know, chose where I went to college in Vermont and then immediately graduating college, moved out west to coach skiing at you know, this pristine mountain in an academy. And I'm not kidding you, Like I used to get to like up the line on the interstate being like, oh, I got to get to coach
skiing today, Like oh, that's an important job. I'm like yeah, totally, And like I would cut the line, get to the mountain at like seven in the morning, and then like get to ride the lift and like ski untracked you know, perfect powder by myself for like an hour and a half. And like that's what that all was, Like, this whole journey of what it was all worth was.
Like no matter where I am at life, like I.
Always remember like those moments of absolute Christine and it took so long to get in. That's like that's like a thing for life. Like you're not going to freaking find happiness tomorrow, Like you got to work towards this shit, and like you're not also going to find you know, feeling emotions until you realize like are you feeling emotions or you're just like hopeless in life, Like there's so many things, but skiing, you know, skiing's given me and taken away everything.
You know. It's like it's that weird fricking thing.
I mean, it's very similar with you, Jake, Like you know, the military, it is everything, it's your family. But at the same time it took everything, it also gave you everything. When you think about that, like do you celebrate it?
Is it truly that love.
Hate relationship like that you can actually be like, I know what love hate relationship?
It is here.
It is well absolutely, and your mother clearly steered you correctly in giving you a choice. You have to have something to apply yourself to that young roy and you chose this path. Talk about growing up in that household, I think.
Like truthfully, skiing was like the best thing that ever happened for my household. My parents got like a bit of their freedom back. I mean, the mountain was my babysitter. They would drop us off, you know in the morning, myself when I meet up with my other buddies, and then they knew it time to pick me up. And it was like really simple, you know, like here's your money to run out, like you run out.
I'll be here at this time.
And it was before cell phones too, so it was very much like we'll see you at five o'clock right here, and it meant like show up here at five o'clock. And you know, looking back on it, and now, just like the little bit that I'm doing now and knowing it's gonna ramp up is gunner gets more involved in things. But gosh, my parents made a sacrifice, And like, you don't realize all the sacrifices you do until you become a parent, and then you really realize how much of a little selfish, pricky.
Person, right right, Why didn't you drop me at nine?
Why other things to do like try to put food on the table.
Yeah, I agree, our parents really do sacrifice. And I tell you, bro with our boys them being in sports and having to get.
All the equipment, you're able to really.
Empathize and sympathize with what your parents go through as.
A parent so much.
Oh my goodness, So tell me what kind of student were you growing up?
Oh?
Man? I think, like you know, I'm obviously like dealing with it now and like I'll say it now, like therapy is the best shit in the world. Like, if you don't go to therapy, like then like I hope you have an outlet that allows you to find your answers. It's so funny to look back at how much therapy is figuring out the points that were beneficial and then thinking out the points that unfortunately have caused some issues
within who you are now, but recognizing them. But you know, as a student, like fuck, my dad did not let me have a chance at failing. He ensured in a very militaristic way that my homework was done that before a test. I like literally in high school before Like my dad knew when I had tests, I think more than I did.
I don't know how, but like.
I had to know the answers the night before before going even into the test, and like that created like, unfortunately, this ideal of perfectionism. It also created, you know, the idea that I should get everything right.
So there's two things.
That I have to unfortunately unwind and figure out where are the boundaries to put those. But then it also gave me the ability to be everything I do. I'm that I'm not going to half ass anything, you know.
It's just about the same.
It's like a part of that is your work ethic is second to none. You were one of the hardest working human beings I know, like you grind to the degree, and I think that's the caveat to the everything else you just said. You know, and just like you said earlier, you alluded to it, we got to take the good with the bad.
And I love that you said therapy. Yeah.
I mean, anyone who doesn't have a healthy outlet find one.
It's such a necessity.
It unlocks so many doors and it shed so much light on why we are who we are.
But you just said the most important word there is healthy. What's healthy? Let's define that is healthy? Like how many bars you can visit in a day, and how many relationships you can create with bartenders, and how many people like when you walk into it, Like you think in the moment that when you walk into a place and someone puts a shot in a beer down because they just know that's why you're there and that's who you are.
Is that the identity you want?
I would hope not. And that's not love, by the way, that's called capitalism. They're not putting the beer and shot down because they're like, I genuinely love this human being, and you and I both know because we're going to get into it how that goes.
And I had well more than one watering hole that knews. Yeah exactly.
So where did that start for you? Roy?
Where did your discovery of alcohol begin?
I think like it's actually from again that strict household.
You just brought that up.
It's like I think my parents instead of like talking about their downfalls because now like looking at it, I think my dad got into trouble a lot as a young kid and drinking and he's never really talked about it. My mom like now looking back as like yeah, my mom was the life of the party, but now thinking about it, like holy shit, did my mom drink a lot? And like what I thought was healthy, Like my mom
loved jyd and Tonics. I as she got older, you know, would recognize that like like some weeks there'd be like three empty Hendrix.
Bottles out at the house, you know, just.
From her drinking at night. At first, you're like, oh, that's just how it is. And then later in your life, wait a second, that's developing how I view it. And then you know, later when she got cancer, and she was drinking one of those night who gives a shake, do whatever the.
Hell you want.
I don't care, Like party on, party the hell on. If that's what you want, that's your outlet, I don't care. You know, now looking back on it, it's like, holy crap. My parents never talked to me about it. And you know, we won this state championship for running like we were this underdog kind of like Disney movie. Like literally, we had this awesome coach who's still like one of my biggest mentors and randomly shows up in my life at the most mint like literally almost still like a Disney movie.
Like it's not like we had this awesome training program. We were underfunded. We just ran every day, and we ran with this like approach that wasn't like running, like we would do mud runs where you'd like run through the mud and just get fricking destroyed and wrestle. We'd run through these old dead forests and knock down trees. Like he added fun into running, but you had to run really far to get to the fun.
And then once you had fun, then you had to run back.
And it was like it was this pride thing he instilled all this stuff, so Whin the state championship, we go to New England's highest ranked team in New England's we end up nationally ranked as the highest public dranked high school in America. Cross country running went from nothing to like like this blip on the map. So we'd go and celebrate this huge party. Like first time ever drinking. I drink a six pack and I didn't know I
drank a six pack in literally twelve minutes. I thought it was like soda and I was like, oh, go go, go, go go, and then all of.
A sudden, like just destroyed, and I was like, I need food. I need food.
So we take my car, my buddy drives to sober Unfortunately, we have a missing light in the car.
You know, we get pulled over.
After we went to the store and I got like six orders of hal of Panio poppers. And let me tell you something, hal Of Paniel popper is a six pack of hard apple cider and a cop are a bad mix. And I puked all over this cop. I ended up like hugging the cop and all this embarrassing shit. You know, it became a laughing stock of the school. That was my introduction to drinking. So that's introduction one. Don't drink. I'm like, drinking is not for me.
How did it wind up? After you hug the cop?
So at the cops mom because I'm from a small town.
The CoP's mom was the high school librarian, and like we were the cross country team was very like nordurized at the time, you know, like we're very recognized and like scene. And he just dropped me off in my parents' house and like, you know, told me not to have it happen again, you know, and on his shoes. Yeah, I had more puke on me though. I told him I loved him too, you know, it's awesome.
Let me tell you.
Okay, sorry, So then what happened?
So then, don't drink, win some more state championships, graduate high school, still don't drink.
Go to college. First weekend at college, let's start drinking again. Everyone's doing it. Let's go for it. Go to this party.
So first we can randomly meet the head of the unh you know, row team, and he's like, you want to take a shot, and I was like again, you know. Then we start going shot for shot and this dude's like four foot eleven and I'm like five foot eleven. I'm like, I got you buy a foot Like, what is this like stupidity? So anyways, I get drunk again. I go out back once again to puke. So now you know, two times drinking puking, so obviously this is
a good score. Consistent puke. This time, someone's like, you're coming with me? I turn around and push the person.
It's a cop.
I get thrown on the ground, I get hog tied, and I get brought to what was supposed to be the detox on campus, but it was, folks, it's opening weekend. So I had to go to the Dover State Prison and I got put in a prison cell with eighteen other individuals that were like wild and crazy. They took my shoelaces, my belt. I had to sit in there for like thirty eight hours until I blew a zero.
And apparently that coup had no connection to your school librarian.
Yeah, it'd only been on campus for like a day. So had it met the librarian at UNH Yeah? Yeah, and me and drinking, Me and drinking went really well right out of the gate. But I think it really came from like a place of my parents, not you know, introducing it to me in a safe manner and me always thinking it was forbidden, and then given the keys, and I was like, it'd be like, you know, giving me the keys to a trophy truck, Like let's go see how fast we can go across the woods.
Like I've seen it in videos. I can do it too.
I definitely identify with that. Jake and I had very different upbringings when it comes to that. But I grew up in a very strict household where alcohol was just not discussed, like we didn't talk about it. My parents didn't drink that. I so then you know, same thing when you get to college it's like, oh I actually like the taste of beer.
Huh.
Definitely different upbringings. I think the thing that Roy, you and I have in common is it's hereditary. You know, it's the like, oh, well, yeah, this is a gnarly experience in a bad way. Yet it could be a crutch and a numbing mechanism to help me just not fill. And then I go out of my way to try and fill anything, and then all of a sudden I
become this walking, eating, breathing contradiction. And then you look back on it and growing up and you're like, man, but everybody it just was the norm, Like it was just what people did.
You know, You party.
All night Saturday night and show up church Sunday morning, your Sunday best and everything's like all rainbows, roses and lollipops.
Like yate was opened.
Absolutely, everything's great. Nothing to see here, like we're perfect. Yeah, I'd definitely relate. And you know, you and I, you and I have lived it, that's for sure, together in our in our own alcoholism and our own just embracing our crutches.
You know, a couple of these come to mind. I mean, the most hungover I've ever been is when was that was with you? Actually it was in your old house in the theater. We watched whatever that movie is with Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell Get Hard and Get Hard Too and.
Whatever it's called.
I think we like. I think it took us nine hours to drink a gatorade. Chris the night before our buddy face palmed someone we were supposed to fill. I remember that didn't do that. I ghost rode a car that night that I stole from someone. I mean, these are yeah of a car that I stole from someone that night that we met at the bar.
I mean, these are just the stories.
Holy shit.
Yeah remember the face bombing everything?
I remember you did you? You took a car too? Yeah? I can't. And how are we not in prison or dead?
I don't know, I really don't.
But you know, he brought up something in that last part that is so incredible. And it's been a relative so hard in my life. The last week, one of my closest bodies guy started with high fives.
He took his life last Monday.
And yeah, it's bro I saw that.
It's been a really hard one. I actually called my sponsor.
I've got an amazing sponsor, sober twenty eight years and I called him and I said, man, I just what is the outlet right now? And he said, well, I want you to think about something. I said, all right, hit me. He said, when you were drinking, You're outlet was drinking and all you could result out of drinking was being hopeless. You can't in that moment find an emotion.
Yeah you could be hopeless and sad, you could be hopeless and happy, but the problem is hopeless is what you always led with in regardles of what the feeling was. It was just you expressing the feeling I am hopeless and sad. Okay, now you're sad man, And I said, I'm fucking gutted. And he's like, all right, now, let's try a word combination. Let's try sad and gut it. And I was like yeah, and he's like, you know what the difference is. I was like, what he goes?
You feel it, don't you? And I was like, it hurts, and you're not just like going and being like, man, I'm hopeless and sad and drinking away. I'm sad and gutted and I'm sitting in.
It and I'll take this.
Over the idea of leading with being hopeless, and that to me has like been the most resonating thing that has come out of like sobriety in the last six years, is like this idea that like, you don't lead with hopeless anymore because you can lead with hopeless and happy, but you're still leading with fucking hopeless drinking a beer.
I'm so fucking happy right now.
Now you're not.
You're being hopeless in the moment and you're telling yourself that you're being happy. You unfortunately do not have the ability to create the separation and it also comes with who you and I are. We have addictive personalities, which unfortunately translate into other addictive things, and we can decide
where we want our addictive personalities to land. And I think that's like the realization that's come out of a lot of this is it's like, I'm not going to give my addictive personality to exactly what you said, that bartender that knows my shot and a beer. You're happy because I leave you at twenty because you're not charging the full amount to your owners. You're not being accountable
in the role that you were hired in. And you think that me and you have some bloy to make it that I benefit from spending time with no fuck that yep.
Take us back from that day in college, the second time you chose to get drunk, and now you're in the slammer. How did alcohol then become a theme throughout your career, your adult life, and then how did you get to that point six years ago?
Being set free in an environment that gave me the opportunity to explore without any boundaries is a dangerous place skiing. I knew the consequences if I went too fast, I'd hit a tree that would hurt even you know, as my drinking progressed through college, where like it was literally like Thursday through Sunday, it was guarant like I had like that weird like I remember going to see my dentist and he was like, what's wrong with the back of your teeth? I was like, I don't know, like
what is wrong with the back of my teeth? And he's like, there's this weird like acidic build up and I was.
Like, I don't know, I don't know. It's like do you throw up a lot?
And I was like yeah, and like I had like acidic build up on the back of my teeth from so much if that tells you like, and it was seen by my dentist, so that was like a Shirtell sign. And then you know, like I got married to a really beautiful lady and like it was all built around drinking, like she worked for a beer company and.
Like it was awesome.
And then my mom passed away, went through a divorce, like all these things that were like Okay, your mom and your relationship is all built on like how drunk you've gotten together, and like you barely remember these moments. Your relationship is built on in fueled on like anger
from drinking. Like I remember just like sitting down, like going through divorce, sitting in a lawyer office all by myself, like at a freaking like big conference table, like after the lawyers left and everything, and just being like you thought you hit rock bottom. Huh, and like you're signing away things and like you know what you thought was this life? You're just like it's literally just like you're signing these baby, I'll do this, I'll do that, and
you're like, where the hell have I been? And then like you start to see like all right, this foundational item of your life is starting to crumble. Let's check in on some other buckets. And you look at these other buckets and you're like, all right, this is going to be a lot harder. Now, what's what is my financial Like take into this and you look at it and you're like, you know, I have a thing.
You know, ever since quit drinking. I think I'm just shy.
I have one hundred thousand dollars saved and drinking in the last six years, and that's just from what my annual spend was, you know, on average. Then you're like, okay, so financial. Then you look at friendship?
All right? How many of these people could I call to go get a drink with me? All right? Cool? All of them? Check ten because they know I'll buy the drink for them. All right.
Now, let's call my car's broken down on the side of the road. I don't have anybody to call. How many of these people they're probably already drunk, so they can't help you. They're probably you know, wanting to know what the benefit is from them. How are they going to benefit by how coming to help you?
So?
Okay, friendships are crumbling, you know, relationship we already know is crumbling, and you look at it and it's like the grout that was the foundational you know, hold on all the things you build, you know. Unfortunately it's kryptonite as alcohol, as you realize. And I'm not saying everybody in this world needs to be sober, No, there's just certain individuals that, unfortunately like they're not good at drinking.
You're right, there's a lot of people that can go and have a glass of wine or beer with dinner and be just fine, you know. But I know, for me personally, last three I would say definitely the last two years before God told me, you're going to be the next one they bear if you don't stop drinking, because that's literally how it happened with me five years ago, the last couple of years. I mean, it was as soon as it hit my lips, like I was going to blackout, I was going to failure, no doubt.
That's that all gas s noo breaks mentality.
Just like you said, When we can channel that into healthy, it's amazing what we can accomplish. And I love the spin on words that your sponsor gave you, because that's something that you don't have to be a recovering alcoholic to think about. That's something that anyone could think about. And it's like Ash and I, you know, when we go through hard times because of stuff that happens in our families or together, and it's like, hey, listen, it's important,
like let's fill this. We got to fill it. We got to fill it authentically, you know, so we can learn and grow from it. You can't just put a band aid on an amputation. It's not going to hold. You know, it's not going to hold.
We haven't figured out how to be starfish yet either. And you know, regrow things. So it's like yeah, it would be nice.
Yeah, So, speaking of regrowing, you had a tipping point in your career. You became a professional skier, then you became a coach. Tell us about the significant injury that put you on the path that you're on today.
April twenty nine, two thousand and six. You know, nine oh five am, I hit a jump that was one hundred feet long.
The problem was what one hundred and thirty feet on?
It came down from thirty feet in the air, and the resultant impact into the snow first fractured my T twelve vertebrae into my spine, left me paralyzed from the belly button down. And I was super lucky. I got I got life flight of amazing care, amazing surgery, and was given the gift of you know, what you put back into your recovery is what you're going to get in your return.
And I took that as much as I can. You know, I saw massive complications.
I've had some bad medical doctors along the way that haven't been the best too, and you know, and they.
Are, they exist, they exist.
Oh my god, it's okay, Like people can make mistakes, but you know what you're messing with my life.
But I think like one of the biggest takeaways.
Is just has been like, all right, well, you know, what are the goods that I got out of it? And I think like the one that I remember and it's it's just been hitting me so hard is the day like hit the ground. What felt like this out of body what was an out of body experience of like hovering above my body and then you know the next thing is this ski patrol put this mask on my face and I sucked back in as the air
came to my body. Was just like in that moment what you know, could have been a minute, could have been a half.
Hour, whatever it was.
I think that was like that moment that shows that I have the ability to fight through any adversity. I remember just like hovering above and being like you're going that way or this way?
Which way you want to go?
Bro? And I was like, you know, pressing the button as hard as I can to get back down. Hit the elevator button down. I want to go back to him. I want to go back to him.
You know.
It's really funny, like I've had this realization after I don't know if you've watched cars on the road with either of your boys.
It's on Pixar right now.
It's just like the continuation of Lightning McQueen and you know of Mater And unfortunately Mater gets dressed up as a rocket ship to set the Lances speed record across the salt flats and he blows up and he actually dies and he gets set up and like the All Above like car is like like made.
Or like I'm sorry you're here, but you're coming with me. He's like I don't want to go. Yeah, May and May and Lot didn't have so many more adventures.
And he literally tricks the All Above to like sneak around him and go back down and like get back in his body in the car and save the wreck and come out and does set the speed record.
And it's like I'm watching that with Gunner.
I'm like, oh my god, like that's me, Like that's it, like let's go, and like it was that moment. It's like I don't know, I have relentless tattooed on my chest for a reason. It's like I have a relentless pursuit to get everything I want to accomplish, and I'm just I'm not gonna and if I fail. It's it's only me, and I know that if something doesn't happen, I know internally it's me. If I didn't fight that day, it wasn't like, you know, if this was an epiphany,
this was some like bigger thing, It doesn't matter. There was no one else in that exact moment except for myself that was like, dude, you need to fight to get back down and if you don't fight, you're going to go up there. And that's like at the end of the day, Like it's such a moment to realize that. It's like, dude, it's all on you. Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk or limp the limp whatever you.
Want to say. And I'll just limp the limp because I don't walk that good.
You know what, You walk a lot better than they thought you were going to.
So how did your recovery go once you made that ultimate decision? Like, no, I still won't be in this fight. I still want to do this life thing. Tell me about your recovery and what happened from that and how much.
You thought it was.
You know what, Like looking back on it, I think like the best thing were the mean nurses because it makes you really realize, like how amazing a nurse, a doctor, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, anybody along the road to recovery were so beneficial, but you really don't realize it untill later when you're like, holy shit, that one nurse, Like I had to get this ner rotten shot, so like I wouldn't get you know, decreased blood thinning, so
I wouldn't get you know, blood clots and stuff like that. And like I had these three nurses that were just like, oh, Roy, like it's so nice to see you today, Like do you want some apple sauce?
Like so nice? And they're like, Roy, look outside, there's a.
Birding like and I was like, oh, there's a like don't even realize it. And then not even kidding you, I her name was Helda, which I'm not making up.
And because it wouldn't be anything like yeah, and it's.
Not like her name's like Samantha, right, so Helda like comes in and I'm not kidding. Like the white thing, you know, like the like Hollywood version of a scary like nineteen fifties military like nurse, like the way they portrayed.
It a different Disney Pixar movie.
This is not from Disney.
Helda like comes in and she's like, you're not doing well to that. You look like you're going to die. No blood caught today, but bye see you tomorrow. At seven, You're like, what just happened? And like you get a black and blue So every time you look down, you're like, oh, helda, Oh helda. It's like, you know, but then years later
you're like, Jesus Christ, thank God for her. Like imagine if, like you imagine if it was the other way around, you had ninety percent Helda and ten percent like Samantha's or whatever.
Name you think.
Yeah, but that's like one thing that I always think about in that recovery. But you know, recovery for me was like it wasn't until like again I hit another rock bottom and another rock bottom that like I actually decided that again it was me. I was so codependent on my girlfriend at the time. I was so codependent on whiskey that like the two of them were a deadly combination. During the day, I like, basically her life was my life, you know, disappointment, that appointment, all these things.
Didn't know what to do when it was just me. Then at night when she would go to work, like I would just drink and it's like, okay, so I'm alone, but I'm not feeling things. And it wasn't until like you know, that kind of ended, you know, we broke up. I went to live with my parents in a completely unaccessible house, and I'm like I realized, like right then, like all right, nothing about quality of life is where
you want. I was sleeping on a couch, you know, and it's just like, what the what are we doing? And I had met this dude, this trainer, his name was Wayne Burwell or his name is Wayne Burwell, and he's like just you know, this sod after trainer and African American David Vebora is a great way to put it. He like randomly saw me and I was like, you know, I was at the bottom. And he's just like, dude, you show up every day at ten fifteen, I'll train you every day for free. Every day you show up,
you get free training. Well, skip a day with you, skip a day without a train, you skip a day without a reason, it's over.
Wow. And I was like I never knew that, man.
Yeah, we've never talked about tell me that wasn't a god Bill.
Dude.
This guy, I mean, he's Wayne's fifty plus now, he has like one percent body fat on him. He's a saint, and I think he saw that in me every day I showed up and then he made me a bet. He's like, dude, the first day you go skiing, I'll be there and I'll tell you what, dude, Skiing is such a humbling thing because Wayne is like as I said, he's like a physical phenom.
He came out skiing and he had that Bambi leg all over. I don't know what I'm doing approach to skiing.
And it's just one of those mentors that it's not like I see Wayne that often, but every time I need Wayne in my life, Wayne shows up. You know, from that moment of like realizing it's only you in this fight you got to fight to get back to your body, but then realizing as you go through it that like you can't be dependent on others. You need
to allow people to be dependent on you. And so if someone says, hey, you show up every day at ten fifteen, I'll train you for free, all right, they're depending on you'd show up at ten fifteen and when you when that happens, you know, a bond creates and I think that's like one of the biggest takeaways from that. And then that moved into my physical therapist.
This guy named Lad Williams.
Why you know, it was this Native American that like did more healing, you know through a I don't know, hold your hands over it, and all of a sudden, warm camp fire feeling shows up.
In your kneecap type thing.
It was same thing with him, Hey, show up every day at two and we'll do physical therapy for six hours. And it was like, you know, every day at two o'clock. Once I moved back out West, was you know, dedicated to the dependency of me showing up.
And I think that's really like, I don't know, it's free to show up. It's free. There is no cost to showing up.
I think that's such a beautiful thing.
As you're sitting here talking, I think about your recovery wasn't done by you. Yes, the majority of it was your grit, your tenacity to work through it, but you had other people that truly stepped in, Like I think about Vic Miller, who's one of Jake's good friends, you know, quintessential marine and a good friend of ours. Vic showed up for Jake. Not only did he have the friends and family that came and spent the time with him in the hospital, but Vic was so consistent. And that's
such a beautiful thing. And I think it's important for us to recognize, like, hey, sometimes when you're in that strong place, go be that for someone else, because there's a point in time when you need that, when you're at your low. So how was high fives birthed?
Yeah, so the name of high five's it's got a kind of a funny story. The next day after my surgery, the surgeon came in, this guy that bedside manner was not what I would say he was really sought after surgery was. And you know, he gave me this great news and said, you know, hey, whatever you put into your recovery, you'll get back in your return. And I didn't know what else to do other than to put my hand up and ask for a high five, because at this moment can't move in my bed, I can't
jump out of joy, you know and stand up. So I put my hand up and literally I'm just sitting there for what I swear it felt like thirty minutes, but you know, Lo and Behold, it's it's probably like five seconds. But you know, in that moment of just like despair, like come on, you know what to do. You can hit my hand, please just slap it. Well, have this positive exchange. It'll be awesome. Lo and Behold, he didn't know what to do. I had to literally
explain it to him. And then, you know, years later, when we're trying to come up with a name for the foundation, the first few like let's call it the Roy Tuscany Foundation. No, and then I was like, hey, I remember this moment, and I was like, how about high fives? And I was like, whoa, that's what we're gonna do in this process. We're gonna give out high fives to individuals when they have life changing injuries and help them through the recovery process.
And we're not gonna leave them hanging.
You're gonna yeah, awesome, tell us about your journey to sobriety.
So high Fives in the first couple of years got growth of like two hundred and twenty five percent annually on average. So it went from this idea of like helping one to helping now five to then twenty to then all of a sudden, like literally everything it was high Fi's Roy Roy High Five's High I's Roy Roy High Iive's Roy High I's Highfi's Roy. There was no boundary between my identity and it became this immerged almost like new persona where I couldn't be anything but this
like public figure, and it took this toll. I was in a really unhappy relationship at the time, my mom was dying of cancer. All these things were just stacking up, and instead of actually allowing myself to feel it was just so much easy. I I you know, it's so funny like talking about this stuff now, it's like, at what time was it okay for me? Like like my first shot, I'd take a shot, be like see you later, and like thinking that was so cool, like see you later, Like.
What the hell are you doing?
And so you know, massive growth, massive instantaneous success, but like small pond success, but a big fish in a very small pond, massive ego that then developed into like almost like you can't touch this, you know.
Twenty sixteen, like I was.
At I had went with you know, you know, I'm uncle Scott unfortunately passed away drinking is what, you know, took his life.
He's one of the greatest humans I ever known.
And if his heart was his only thing he had in this world, oh my god, the world would be the best place in the place ever. But unfortunately drinking took, you know, was what ended Scott's life, and it was going to end my life. It was going to end a lot of people's lives. And you know, I could have ended someone's life too, which is the scariest thing out of the whole coincidence. But Scott had so much money, you know, it was endless. We had a you know,
an American Express black card. You know, we had this beautiful RV. We had tickets to all everything. It was like, you know, we were living like the I don't even know, like the Billionaire Boys Club almost. I remember going and this is like how fucked up like an addictive mind can be. Is I remember going to the liquor store and being like, dude, let's drink a whole bottle, a whole handle a cass amigos in one night and you can do it. And I was like, this is gonna
be awesome. And I did it, did it without a problem. Actually I don't even remember what time I went to bed. I woke up at like six forty five in the morning, like half on a couch in between like a table and a couch on an RV, like in my clothes, just like that's not life.
That moment right then and there, I said like, all right, dude, you did it. Congratulations, you accomplished your goal.
What's next? The only thing bigger than a handle is a keg? What are you gonna drink a keg in a night? Dumbass? Not possible. And so from a competitive mindset, I originally was like, all right, dude, you gotta take thirty days going through a divorce, Mom's cancer just escalated, Dad's in a new relationship, all these things, and like I wasn't feeling any of them. All these things were stacking up, and the root of everything was the idea that I just I wasn't feeling anything, and like I
was masking everything. And I think that was that takeaway and that idea of that competitive mindset, and like being honest with myself for like the first time in so long, are you really going to put all your talents into how much consumption you can put forth?
Or are you gonna like.
Just be real and help people and you know, be genuine and.
Figure out who the fuck you are.
And you know, it's like six years later, it's it's unreal, man, it's unreal.
The conversations with your therapist, it's unreal.
All these all the conversations you can have, you know, and it's just like you reflect back on it and it's like you can't everything is so frickin poisoned that like you can't find the remedy for it until the only remedy is you. And when you realize that, you start to empower yourself. And like the journey over the last six years, like, oh my god, I think it's been harder than the first thirty six years of my life. But I'll take it because with every growth, I am
coming off of a mistake. With every growth, I'm feeling why I'm growing from it. And when I grow now it's not being masked, it's actually being a tablished and being built into that foundation. And unfortunately, you know, I know that the grout that holds my foundation together dissolves when alcohol is put into it.
And if I want to have.
A stronger foundation, well then I guess three cups of coffee. Is you know, I'll take that. I might just get a little energized and I might get more done, but I can feel what I'm getting done, and I take that every single day.
So I mean, that's been my journey.
I want to thank you for being so vulnerable and for sharing the beautiful words that you just shared, for the journey that you did, for choosing life and now for choosing a clean life and all that you're able to accomplish because of that. So thank you for sharing that. That was really touching. If you can think back on your life's journey, is there an individual or an organization that's made a huge impact on you.
I think like one that has made an absolute huge impact on me is make a Wish. I think like they set a standard for a lot of what myself and Jake do. Now, do we provide a trip for a family to go to Disneyland. Maybe we have a couple times, but that's not at the root of what we do. But at the root of what we do is we provide hope to those that unfortunately don't really
have hope in their timeline. And I think that really all comes from the model of make a wish, And so I think, like thinking back on it, thinking about what was that first you know nonprofit organization that really resonated within me was make a Wish. So I think that make a Wish is something that has built a catalyst for other organizations.
At that time, we're not being around. There wasn't a.
Mental health therapy group for armed services in the nineteen eighties and nineties. It was sorry, you're a wuss, fill out this paperwork and deal with it.
Like that's how it was, you know.
But now that idea of like you know, providing hope to people from the catalyst of what we make a wish, I think is what really has set me into the role that I am now in using that as a platform to you know, in a nutshell what h fhives does?
You know we grant.
Hope, great answer and completely agree. So what do you do to unwind and recharge?
My new outlet is adapted mountain biking.
It has become my absolute savior, and it's because it is a real life device, something that is available. You know, you can go to any store in America, not any store, but you can go to a bike store in America and buy an e bike and it's suitable for individuals with disabilities. Jake, I got a fleet of them here. The next time you're up here will go out. I'll
never forget it. Got my first E bike for my buddy, Paul B. Paul was a Red Bull mountain biker that sustained a spinal cord injury at the rampage of It in Utah. We became super close over that injury, and you know, he helped develop an e bike to get him back on. Me and him very similar walking paraplegics. So he developed a bike with Scott and he got me one of them and he's like, well, you gotta try this, and I was like, dude, I don't know.
Like I'd had my journey with mountain bike and prior to my injury and then post injury.
I got on this bike.
I remember the first pedal stroke I made as I went up the hill and I was like, wait, did my spinal cord injury just go away? Like what is going on here? And that moment, you know, Matthew McConaughey talks about it. He's like, yo, when you feel joy man, and it's like that's it. You don't you feel happy a lot. When you feel joy, it transforms stuff. Yeah, that moment right there, and then that's it adapted. Mountain biking on my e bike has become this transformational process
for me, a new way to explore. I got this little seat that I put Gunner on. There, me and him go out riding together.
It's unreal.
It's giving me the gift of something that it's a corny phrase, but dude, you know, I never thought I'd be able to fall back in love with mountain biking, and I've been given the gift too, So it's really cool.
That's beautiful. Last question, what feeds your soul?
Right now?
What feeds my soul are moments with Gunner and Elena that we get to experience.
Elena and I both have disabilities. My wife's in a wheelchair.
I walk with a pretty heavy limp and a very limited to mobility. But there have been that people that have taken Gunner out on the front of the surfboard so we can serve with us. We've got a great group of friends, from my adopted son Sano, to my goddaughter Ruby, to employees Becca and Danny who heather Gunner so he can go skiing with Elena and I because unfortunately we can't teach him to ski outside of just you know, being there to coach him because of our disabilities.
So it's like those moments that we get to experience with Gunner, Like that's the soul feeding.
You know.
Last night I was with one of our largest donors, who unfortunately doesn't have any kids, and he looked me right in the face and he says, Roy, I am poor in life, rich in property. You are rich in life life and pretty poor and property. It's like joking, it's like pretty poor and property.
To what I got.
You know.
He's a funny guy. And I was like, Wow, what currency do you want to operate in? And like, yeah, obviously we need to operate in the currency of like property, because we need a house, we need a car, we need these things to operate in our daily life. But if like you, operate in the currency of life, then all that matters is how you exchange those moments in life, and that's how I choose to feed my soul.
Well, this is one of those moments for us. Certainly, thank you for feeding our soul. Just truly touched by your story and everything you've been through everything you continue to do.
Roy, thank you for being on the good stuff.
I love you guys so much. This was so much fun. I can't We've been doing this for over an hour and forty minutes.
Now, bro, my bro, I tell you what we do go back several years, minion years, and we've spent a lot of time together over the years.
And I got to tell you right now.
I mean, even though this is for our show and you're gracious enough to be a guest, I want to thank you for being the most present I've ever had the privilege of having you. And that's saying a lot, because you you always did show up, no matter what I mean, hungover, drunk, it didn't matter.
You showed up.
But it is pretty rad for you and I to be able to share some time and be ever present in the moment.
I'm very very grateful for.
That in this time, Roy tuscany great human being there will only ever be one. And I'm pretty sure I say that about all the people we interviewed.
But there's a.
Point absolutely right, I mean, such a great guy.
These people are not the Diamond dozen people, right, These are the people that they unzipp their trescavity.
They bear their soul.
To the world and they say, let's roll, let's do better together, let's do awesome stuff.
Yeah.
To go from being told you're never going to walk again to having this coach show up and say, show up every day at ten o'clock, I'll train you for free.
Yes, it wasn't free. It is his time costs money.
Exactly most precious commodity has.
And then for him to go through everything he's gone through saying hey, I'm going to start this foundation and then getting sober. I mean, I love the parallels between the two of you, your life stories and where you're both at today and how present you're able to be with one another.
It's just a beautiful thing.
You know.
It's proof positive that there is a higher power and a higher calling and the fact that we both can truly appreciate our victories and truly process our failures now in a real way the way it was meant to be.
Is it's poetic, absolutely, And like he said, when I grow now it's not being masked, it's being established into my foundation.
Yeah.
I mean, he's awesome. What an awesome story. Everything about it except the nurse.
Helda she sounds scary.
What a horrible human.
That's trying to save my life and make me feel better. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Good Stuff. If it touched you today, please share it. Be part of making someone else's day better.
Put on your badass case and be great today, and remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.
Again, thank you for listening to the good Stuff.
The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick, Leah Pictures and q Code Media. Hosted by Ashley Shick and Jacob Schick, Produced by Nick Casselini and Ryan kants House.
Post production supervisor Will Tindy.
Music editing by Will Haywood Smith, Edited by Mike Robinson,