Glory to God with Jacob Schick

two of us over the course of season one. We wanted to bring the podcast full circle an end where we started with our own story.

this recording is different because it's intimate. It's to my wife, just two of us in a room, and I am going to dig deep to go back to that day in that place and remember it just the way I remember it every single day, but on a much deeper level, because I think that that's only fair because of what our guest has given us, I think I owe it to all of you to do the same.

in IRIB operation that needs to be neutralized. And I was sitting in the hum V next to Doc because it was his turn to be on watch, and I was debriefing with Doc about this high stress situation that we just had with the Iraqi National Guard, and I was still very much coming off my adrenaline high and the guys had already betted down inside the tent. Once that adrenaline dump wears off, Like you just knows dive, there's always just super high highs and super low low

so there's very little in between. And so I remember when I walked into the tent, you know, that's where I find my moment of solace and sit down on my cot trying to be quiet because I know the guys need sleep. I kick the boots off, which is like taking a deep breath, laying in your bed at the end of a long day, knowing, Okay, whatever my abnormal baseline is, I can get to it right now,

even for a minute. And I laid down on my cot and within fifteen minutes a react got called, and I remember just feeling bad for the guys because I knew that everybody was tired and hungry, getting thirsty and miserable. I just remember smiling because I was like, you know, Murphy's law, it's just never ending. So I get up and I put my boots on. I wake all the guys up. And the way we do it is not by rubbing their backs and whispering sweet nothing's in their ear.

You know, It's just not the way we do it in the Marine Corps. And I got everybody up and told them we got to react and get moving.

I remember seeing a couple of them dragging their flack jackets and having their boots unlaced, and because it was just it's so the antithesis of what people think of, most likely when they think of them.

And I go to the reach back to the back and grab the radio from radio man. It's between five and six in the morning, it's like right before sun up. And I remember telling the guys button up your shatter proof goggles, your keV lar, your helmet and at this point. I knew that the guys knew that something wasn't right. I mean, when it's one hundred and thirty degrees and you're wearing a ninety pound combat load, you don't need help being uncomfortable. And they knew that I had a

feeling about something. And I remember getting in the driver's seat after I put the bomb blanket down, and I have the radio in my right hand because something told me drive with your left, talk with your right, and I punched it. And by the time we go around this turn and I'm talking with the watchtower, we called the react. It was trying to get us on target. We're trying to walk us on target. And I knew that I had to take this road because there was one way in and one way out of this area

in do Live, Iraq. I just have to sail on this road until I can make a turn to get off the road and off the tracks to make a beeline to wherever the thread is. And I came over this hill. There was at least a twenty or thirty meter area that was soft sand on this one road. The rest of it was like compact, so compact it was as hard as cement, but this one area that was part of a dried up waddy or a dried up riverbed had soft sand.

Once it made contact, it blew directly beneath me. So many things happen before I'm ejected out of the hum V. The firewall on the humbe folded so that broke my right foot. A piece of shrapnel or a piece of the hum vy went through the bottom of my left arm that I was driving with and came out the top.

Then the steering wheel and the dashboard disengaged and hit me in my chest, which is on the front of our flat jackets is where we wear all of our magazines, where we keep all of our AMMO for quick and easy access, which made all my magazines explode, and it also broke every one of my rips. In this process, I had a piece of shrapnel go through the right

lens of my goggles. Then I was ejected. I was blown thirty feet to the top of the humbe because we operated in two door, soft top humb's, And I remember being in the air knowing this is very, very bad.

settles fairly quickly. I mean this stuff just it's like it floats in the air. And so I still couldn't see where the vehicles were, and I couldn't figure out where I was. But then my age driver started yelling check Chick, and I remember trying to immediately make my way back to the lead vehicle, and I was going towards the sound of his voice. And so I started pulling myself with my right arm, and I was trying to move my whole body and the only thing that

would function or even move was my right arm. So as I'm pulling, I realized I don't have a weapon, and so I start to move my left arm, which was just flopping around, and I knew it was broken. I didn't even have to look, but I was waiting for my arm to hit metal at the rail system of my sixteen, and I couldn't find it. And then I looked down and I could see with my left eye of it, I wasn't going anywhere. I was just

scooping sand. The whole time I'm hearing shack Hick. This crush my soul is when he broke military protocol and he just yelled my first name, and he just yelled Jacob, and it was this blood curdling scream of desperosity just to have any sign of me, because I'm sure when he looks in the passenger seat and all these seas or my rounds from my magazines and my blood, but no me. I remember when he did that, and it

broke my heart. I couldn't get to him, and I was trying hard, and it just crushed me because I loved him so much and I wanted him to know, like, hey man, I'm okay, and too, like stop yelling, because you're making us a target. Stop yelling.

a self assessment. And I remember looking down at my left leg and starting my self assessment to see what kind of aid I can render myself if I'm even able to do that, and I saw my phibia, my tibia, sticking out of my left leg, and my left leg was wrapped around itself and my foot was inverted and turned upside down. My boot was blown off, my combat boot, and I remember thinking when I saw that two things.

One that's not supposed to be like that, and two this was a significant amount of force to be able to blow my combat boot off of my foot and not take my foot with it. And I remember looking at my right leg, which looked normal, and it hurt like hell, and I knew it was broken, but it looked normal. I worked my way up and got to my left arm and saw daylight through my left arm.

It blew out five inches on out of my left arm, my own the bone, and then part of my left hand, probably gonna lose the left leg, lose the left arm. And then I look at my right arm and I just see s trapping, the wounds, a couple of minor burns. I couldn't see my own face, but I felt trapping alver my face and my chin and my neck, so I knew I was really wounded. At this point, I still hadn't taken a breath when I got hit by

the steering wheel and just collapsed my lungs. I wasn't able to breathe laying there after my self assessment, and I just remember telling God, all I ask is that you don't take me in front of my brothers. Because I knew I was dying. This was most likely going to be my last day on the planet, and so my hyper focus became not dying in front of my brothers. And the deal I made with God was, as soon as the bird gets here and those kids leave the deck, I'm all yours. All I ask of you is to

not allow my family to watch me die. And I became hyper focused on staying alive for as long as that took. Little did I know it was going to take as long as it did. But I was able to really focus on that and dig into something that I knew I had but I rarely had to tap into.

At which point I could hear a couple of the guys coming up, and the majority of them are standing around me, and you know, we got you, Shike, we got you, brother, and I looked up and the first thing I said, up, grace of God, I was able to take a breath, and the first thing I said was developed through sixty, which means set up a security perimeter. And I remember the look on their faces like oh, oh yeah, and I was like, yeah, we're at war, and I don't feel like all of us getting shot.

Was you looking at me? Set up the three sixty, several of them went up, set up the security perimmer. A few of them picked me up and took me to the second Humby that was not didn't take any damage because at this point the pain didn't necessarily set in yet. But I knew it was coming. And by the time they got me in the vehicle in the back of the second Humbye to take me to the command post, and it started setting in. The more painful

it it became, the angrier I got. And I remember, they get me to the command post and Doc straight they're ready to go, ready to work on me. And it was one of those moments that were surreal because I was I felt like just minutes ago, I was sitting with them and we were just talking and I was trying to come down off this adrill on high and yet here he is just straight up in work mode and he's talking to me and I'm just yelling

at him. You hit me, Doc, hit me with the morphine, and he did, and he hit me twice and that's the only time he would hit me. And it was putting a needle in your thigh and releasing some morphine into you. And I was pissed because he had only hit me twice and I knew he had more. And I'm yelling at this guy who I love and I respect and calling him a stingy bastard. At this point,

I'm in fight mode, fighting for my own life. You had this other marine that was with Doc, that did this additional training to help Doc with these situations where he had a little more know how when it came to providing medical care to the Marines and to the enemy, which we did. This particular marine he stepped on my left leg and obviously was an accident. He didn't mean

to do. It really pissed me off. The complete antithesis of politely asking him to go away is what I told him, And I remember him getting emotional, and I remember that pissing me off more. And so if you haven't picked up on it yet, anger is a very high octane fuel for me that I've learned to utilize over the years to help get me through the valleys

to the peak. And I've used it as a motivator and a lot of bad but also in a lot more good and I remember hearing my tuning commander given talking over the net or the radio to our battalion back at the base and alasade I distinctly remember him saying, We've got to get the spreen out of here. He's category four and he's rapidly approaching category five. Category four means urg a surgery, Category five meaning expectant not going

to make it. And I knew he was right because every minute that passed I felt life leaving my body, and I knew I've just got to keep fighting, got to keep fighting. And I was very, very very grateful to be in the back of that hume Bee in my right arm. It is just another reason I know God's real because it wouldn't have worked if it was my left. It had to be my right, my right arm.

Other than burns and shouting, the wounds to work fine, I was able to hold my right hand up in the back of this humb Every marine that I needed to talk to, I got to talk to him and hold their right hand and tell them how much I love them and I respected them, and that they had so much to do with me being the marine that

I am. And I remember telling the guys even the guys that didn't want to look at me, and I remember yelling at him to look at me and to take a good look at me, because this is what they want to do, and you have to fight forward, you have to fight for me. I'm out of the fight. And I remember when the guys were telling me, this is your bird home, brother, it's your bird home, Jake. Every time they said her to piss me off, because

I was home. Wherever they were was my home. That's my family, and I to this day feel that way strongly that they're my family.

rhotors again. Every second the past, I got a little weaker and a little weaker and a little weaker, and I was starting to worry that I wasn't going to be able to make it to the bird. I was so hyper focused and convicted and not dying in front of them because I didn't want them the last thing to see if me was my dead body, because I love them and respect them too much for that, and

that's not how I want them to remember me. I wanted them to remember me fighting and going out like a gladiator like I am, and that's why I was so convicted in it, and I didn't want to do that to him. The last thing you ever want to do is let one of them down. And I finally remember hearing the roads of the helicopter and landing, and they're carrying me to the bird. Right before the guys loaded me, you know, Doc was having to put bandages on me and then take them off and put them

on me because I was bleeding through these bandages. When they were loading me on the bird, the rotor wash from the black Hawk blew up the bandages, and the sand being so fine, blewe into all my wounds. Like I can't believe it just got worse, which is why one of the sayings that I love to say is that physical pain reminds you you're a live but mental

pain will test your will to stay that way. And I'll never forget when Michael Toon Sargeant, I respected the shit out of He called me Jack London because my grandfather is Jack London chick, and uncle is Jacq London shit jinner, and I guess Jake's is not that cool of a name, so he called me Jack London all the time. Got on the bird, he was the last one on, and he kissed me on my forehead and he was trying not to cry, and he said, we'll see you's soon, Jack London, and I knew he was lying.

Remember when he got off the bird, look out to my left and I see the guys looking up. And that was the hardest part of all of it. I was leaving then, what's clear I still struggle with So. I mean, I felt this abundance of guilt about that. That didn't leave me for a very long time. At that point, I started to feel like I was hanging on him by a thread and got the attention on

one of the litter crew. Here's this young kid. I'll never forget how young he looked, which is not saying a lot, because of jeurias of us over there were kids, but I mean this kid, it was like he had never even taken a razor to his face, and he looked that young. And I remember him avoiding me like the flag, almost like my near death was gonna rub off on him. And I don't blame him at all for that. I mean, until you've been in that situation,

you can't possibly understand it. But I got his attention on my right hand. To his credit, he did not hesitate coming over to me, and he leaned over me and he pulled his left headset over his left ear, pulled it off back behind his left ear, and put his left ear right over my mouth. And he got right up next to me, and I yelled, how long, put it back over his ear, and he read it up front of the captain, and he came back and he yelled in my right ear, and he yelled twelve mics,

which means twelve minutes. And I remember thinking to myself, you can do twelve more minutes. And I immediately talked to guy again and I said, hey, big man, I'm gonna have to renig on that original verbal agreement because I think I got twelve more minutes in me as if I had a choice. You know, it's not. I don't think for the most part, it's up to us

when we get to make the call. But I remember leaving the guys and looking down and seeing them, and my will to fight to stay alive was all but gone because I had already accepted this is it and I was going out exactly the way I wanted to go out as a warrior. But then here in twelve minutes, I was like, how far can I push this thing?

and I was so nervous. And I remember walking out of the side door of this clubhouse area where her rotary club was, and I remember walking out and I went to go light a cigarette, and she walked out and she put her hand on me and she said, how do you feel. I looked at her and I said lighter, and she said good. That was the point and walked away, and I was like.

And I agree, I completely agree. It's the scars you can't see that are the most debilitating your well being if you let them be. People need to understand that seeing is not always believing, and that's why you can't judge a book by its cover, because none of us know what we don't know. And it's like I tell the tribe all the time, and treat everybody you meet as if they have a broken heart, because you never know love and be loved. That's it.

your soul. And the brain is the most powerful weapon any of us will ever possess. And I've done a lot of work to make sure that mine can function and operate at the highest ability that's even possible, especially for someone who's diagnosed with traumatic brain injury and push my e stress and for me, mental strength will carry someone so much further than physical strength. And it's something that I started working on as a little kid because

I had to. The only downfall to it is that it can also be your worst asset, because stubbornness and pride can take control of you and do a lot of damage. And I've got a track record of that too. I'm a firm believer in truly believing in who you are and being comfortable inside your skin, regardless of what it looks like or doesn't look like, because every breath is a gift. That mental strength is going to carry you through a lot of times that you wouldn't fathom

you would go through. But that's why you need to be so convicted in who you are and why I've done so much work to be convicted and who I am and understand that I'm a moratal human being, just like everybody else that was given a second shot. I'm by no means perfect, but I'm going to fight like hell until i can't fight like hell?

out on. And I learned that. I mean, I was in the hospital for a long time and I didn't see sunsets, and I didn't get to talk to people I love all the time, and I didn't get to know if my guys were okay, and I didn't get to know if I was going to make it through this twenty hour operation or this surgery or that surgery. And so I mean, attitude of gratitude is easy to say, you know, and it's catchy and it rhymes, but unless it's something you put into practice every day, it's really

hard to grasp out of thin air. And so for me, I find a relaxation and recharging is being with my family. I mean being with you and the boys, my brothers, and my nephew, my niece and yours and your family, driving around a ranch and being out in nature, or it's being present at a ballgame or just watching sports, not allowing the societal noise to pierce that moment. Is

I find that to be very therapeutic to me. It's I got a marine buddy that you know tells me is like, I've Jacob, never met a human being like you that you find therapy in every single thing you do. I was forced to. I mean, I was so angry for so long and so bitter for so long that it was like, I need to stop wasting time. And it's it's still a struggle.

me the real world. She didn't put me in a protective bubble and take the notion of what you know, he'll figure it out when he figures it out. No, she's the one that taught me to be the father that I and you know, my father was didn't really ride us growing up, and he would give his sound advice and you listener, you don't. Then a lot of the time we didn't. Then the world patched us in

the mouth, and then we learned. I mean so many teachers that put up with my shit for so long, and just so many coaches and even athletic trainers and even friends' parents. And there's just such a long list that if I named one, it would do so many an injustice. I am where I am because of a countless number of people and organizations, to include the Marine Corps, because the hospital and VAMPSI or Samsea and San Antonio

and even March Air Force Base. My commanding officer that medically retired me, such an inspirational human being, and he's just a Marine's my first order, I mean, my gun. I could just go on and on and on and on, and just so many people that just their presence by default makes you want to be a better human. And I'm just fortunate in that fact that I know a lot of those people, and I mean some that are well known and some that aren't that are all equally important to me.

who help people, and so on and so forth. I mean that that's what feeds my soul and gives me conviction to be better tomorrow than I was today, because it's there's no subtle point, there's no point of like, Okay, I'm good ever till I die, you know, as you know, like I'm gonna I have an innate ability to push people to the n degree because just like I tell you, even when I feel like I can't give any more, I know there's a lot more to give.

in those categorical boxes so you can be defined. You know, iron sharpens iron. So thank you.

you just wake up and just survive, that's okay. You're not going to thrive every day that's your goal. But if sometimes you just survive, that's okay. And that's the point is that sometimes you just need a fresh perspective to take the next.