Yes, You Are in Hell

Dear Humans,

While it may feel like an eternity, it’s only been TEN DAYS since America’s worst President returned to the White House. It’s become clear that you all died in 2016. And yes, this is Hell.

As creators of the Universe, we can exclusively confirm the answers to all of the questions you’ve been pondering over the last few days.

1. We expose how Donold’s very expensive and cruel racism managed to raise coffee prices.

2. God attacks the racist masculinity complex and defines what it really means to be a man.

3. People who voted for Trump are now tragically being either fired or deported.

4. In light of Trump renaming the Gulf of Mexico, God has a new, official name for the United States of America and Texas.

5. And we wrap with some uplifting news… because we have to have things to look forward to for this planet!

While the topics are serious, we promise you’ll be entertained and informed as we discuss them. Watch the episode above, or listen to it in your favorite podcast app!