86. BACK TO SCHOOL ADVICE 📚 first day anxiety, not feeling smart enough, finding your purpose & MORE 🍂

Hello everyone, Welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia Gogan, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand your mind and become more self aware so that you can blow up into the best version of yourself. Hi. If you're watching on YouTube, there is a new background. Listen. We have things going on in this apartment. This is not the final production, although I don't mind it. You know new vibe. You can see my coffee table TV. My living room is very

minimal. I need to get a carpet still. You guys know, I moved my makeup and like my desk more into the living room, but it looks really put together. I feel like I just love this setup. I know you can't really see too much of it, but follow me on Instagram because I'm always posting, and lately I've been posting my mirror selfies in the new mirror area and it looks brilliant. It's here. It's a little bit

of a rebrun but what I did. The reason why I'm the reason why that I'm in my living room right now is because I need to make space for my actual office where the studio is going to be. Because I did purchase the chair, okay, and I got it custom blue, and I'm really hoping that the blue that I get is like the proper baby blue, the cloud blue, something similar to the color that I'm wearing in my podcast photo. So for the time being, we will be in the living room.

I don't hate it. I do not hate it. If you're listening on audio, then you know, maybe go check out the pod if you're really interested and to see my living room, but you probably don't really care. Also, just one more thing, I am wearing this long sleeve shirt from Aloe. They did send it to me because I'm gonna be working with them on a new project. But I gotta say this is snatching the body where it needs to be snatched, and the color, the dark green,

is giving fall. So I don't know if you want it. I have it linked on my light to know it. But we are not here to talk about shirts today, are we. No, we are not. We are here to talk about back to school season, because you know what, I realize that just because I'm not going back to school doesn't mean y'all aren't going back to school. And honestly, when I look at my analytics, and I see your guys's age, and yes, I know how old you

guys are. Well, not really individually, I do not know how old every single one of you guys are, but in general, my analytics tell me the age group that listens to my podcasts, and I would say is a pretty fifty fifty split between eighteen and twenty four and then like twenty four to thirty four, so you know, we got the young ins love you guys like eighteen years old? Wow, was I even listening? Yes, I was listening to podcast when I was eighteen. But I love it.

I love that you guys are so interested in this kind of content, healing, leveling up, going up into the best version of yourself at eighteen, Like, girl, you really have it together more than you even think. And even the ones who were older are like the thirty four year old. I know there's older people who listen to my podcast too, which I'm also just honored. I freaking love that so regardless. I posted on the Instagram,

not the Instagram, the podcast Instagram, the Globe Secrets podcast. If you guys like pin, if you guys are really into Pinterest and like Pinterest quotes, and just like I don't know, funny, cool aesthetic things. Then definitely follow the podcast Instagram because it's just I don't know, it's fun over there. But I do also ask all of the Q and A's on there and all my Instagram sometimes and I just tell you guys to go somewhere

whatever. I ask you guys, what advice you need for back to school, and a lot of you guys sent in questions, and you guys needed advice, So we got to make a whole episode about this. Now, this is definitely going to be for any age group, like the freshman's, the ones who were just graduating, the ones who were going into college, the ones who maybe took a few years off and they're going back to college as a mature student. You guys had a lot of questions regarding balancing so

many things now that you're going back into the school year. Advice for when it comes to friendships, obviously that's a thing, failing grades, being productive. A few of you guys were asking about what to do when you're taking a major that your parents are making you take. So I compiled a list, of course in my notion. My notion, I freaking love notion. I guess that's the first tip for your back to school get on notion. Yeah. Anyways, I compiled a list and we're gonna go through them,

and I'm gonna give you my best advice. Listen, I've been in school for I haven't sorry if you didn't hear that. I have not been in school for a very long time. When my last program, I graduated in twenty twenty nineteen, so it was the beginning of twenty nineteen, well not the beginning, I should say springtime of twenty nineteen and then but you know

what, Okay, let me just let me know it. Let me completely backtrack here and give you a little rundown of like my college experience in a way, I'm not going to give everything because like I want to give you guys the tips. So I right after high school, I went to Durham College and I took special event planning and then I end up having to come back home because your girl didn't have enough money. And that's the times where things were rough back home with my mom as well. So I went back

home. I ended up working for like a year at Tim Horenn's and I worked full time girl six to two six to two woke my ass up every day at like five am. I grinded, I worked, and I just I don't know. I was like eighteen at that point, and yeah, eighteen years old. So I wasso trying to figure out what type of program that I wanted to take. I was just trying to like make money and

get my car, get my license, all that kind of stuff. And then I ended up going back to school I think the next year or something, and I went to Georgian College. By the way, I'm from Barry, Ontario, if anyone does not know. And so I went to Georgian College, which was like in my hometown Berry, and I took what I take, hospitality management for hotels and resorts. I don't really, I think at that point, I just was like looking at different programs and I wanted,

like that sound interested to me, interesting to me. Sorry, I had no idea about psychology. I had no idea about mindset work. I was like just kind of starting like fitness and health like interested in that, but I had no really idea of like like I was into self help, yes, but I wasn't I didn't like correlate like that could be maybe something that I pursue for a career, so like that was not even a thing

for me. I literally didn't even know that, Like you could go to school for psychology in high school, Like nobody told me that, Like I missed the memo on that one. But I digress. So I went to school for hospitality management for hotels and resorts. I was like a two year program. Learned business, learned how to manage resorts like hotels, all that kind of stuff, got a lot of experience would honestly, it was like a pretty well rounded course. But as I was in that course, I

started to get really into health and fitness. This is where like my self development era had occurred, like full blown whatever, and so I kind of knew honestly, by the time I was done that course, I didn't really want to pursue like working in hospitality management. And then I got into hospitality in terms of making money, like as a servant and things like that, but I didn't really want to go any further than that. I didn't want

to go out west like most of the people in my program did. They all went out West and they all worked at like the really beautiful hotels and BAMF. I didn't have had no literally, you could not catch me out in BAM for nothing. For nothing, I wanted to be like send me out to Florida or something, but I wasn't going there, and so I

didn't really do much with that program. But throughout by the time I was done in that program, I should say I got really into health and fitness, and so I already was already pursuing another program, which was I ended up being Workplaced Wellness and health Promotion, so that was kind of more aligned to me, and I took that program as well. So that's when I moved out to closer to Toronto and I took that course, and then I got a job through co Op. And then as I was going as I

did my co op and I got into that job. This is now beginning of like twenty nineteen, and then I got a full time position at a tech company being a health and well as consultant. As I was doing that, though, I started getting into like really getting into psychology and mental health

and stuff like that. And now I had always been into mental health like way before I even took that, but I started to realize especially in the fitness and health space, especially from my experience and working with other people that it was so much meant it was like it was your mental health that was the issue. It wasn't the fact that you don't know what to do in the gym. So I kind of realized very quickly I didn't want to be in that field, and so I was trying to figure out like what I

wanted to do. And in that moment in time, that's where my hand pain occurred, which made me go deeper into mental health and understand more about psychology and everything like that in my body connection. And then the pandemic happened, and then I was still working at that job, but I was trying to heal myself, so like I wasn't trying to pursue a new career because I didn't even know if I could even start a new career. And I definitely by the time I was out of all that my death and my rebirth,

I healed myself. And this is when COVID started like calming down a little bit more and everyone was going back to work and I was still a server by the way, and I was doing still working at the tech company. I realized that I wanted to leave the tech company because it wasn't paying me enough and this is not even what I wanted to pursue anyways, and so I was like, you know what, I'll just grind it out.

I'll just bartend. I'm making way more money, and I will either consider going back to school to do something in psychology field or I will Actually it wasn't really an or. I was just considering, like do I want to go back for another four to six years to become a psychologist or something, or do I want to like see other routes, Like I was into sematic therapy when I still am just life coaching in general, just coaching. I took a lot of different like extra cool, that's not even the word.

I took a lot of courses outside of regular schooling. I spent a lot of money learning about like it, took a bunch of stress resilience courses. I obviously I got certified as a life coach, health coach, so many coaches certifications you don't even need to be, but whatever, I took all of these like extra things. So I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. And then this is when I was also starting my social media and I just knew that I wanted to do social media and that was

going. I wasn't like I wasn't going to not go back to school, but I just I knew that I wanted to do and share what I've learned through my whole entire life on social media, and I didn't need to go be a psychologist to do that. Like, that's totally fine, that can share my story. I just say all that because I've gone through a lot

of different ebbs and flows. So I mean, maybe the first thing when it comes to giving you advice is it's totally fine if you do not know what you want to fully do. And I think that you'll just never fully know until you start something and then you realize, oh I don't like this, or oh I like this instead, and you kind of go wherever you

want. Even for me, like I'm a lifelong learner, I don't think that I'll ever stop learning, whether that be traditional school or different programs that I'm investing in outside of the actual school system, which I really not gonna lie. I don't want to get too much into this, but I do

think that especially in Canada. I'm live in Canada. Do you think a lot of the school systems have a lot of politics weaving themselves within a lot of curriculum, and that's been one of the reasons why I haven't actually decided to go back to school, because there's a lot of political things happening, and so yeah, anyways, and also I'm just successful doing what I'm doing.

And but anyways, regardless, I will always be life long learner, whether I go back to school or not, or take more certifications or not. Whatever. So again, I say all that because I have definitely been through the journey and I've had to go back. I've had to contemplate about going back or deciding not to, or just dealing with all the things that come with schooling. Schooling was such a huge part of my life only until

kind of recently, but it's still kind of is. But I think it's important to talk about this because, yeah, schooling is going to be a part of your life probably for a long time. So it's like, how

can we enjoy the process more? How can we not you know, only love our lives when it's like two months of summer and then the rest we're just dreading it because we hate what we're doing or we don't know how to be productive, or we struggle with friends like all that kind of stuff, Like we need to learn how to enjoy this because it's going to be a part of our lives for a long time. And for me personally, education is always going to be a part of my life and I don't want to

ever give that up. I actually love it, but I didn't love it back in the day. I was really not It wasn't that I wasn't a good student, but I you know what, we're going to talk about that because somebody had asked about feeling like not smart enough and stuff, and that was that was my experience in high school. I was not a good student in a way. I was not getting good grades, I didn't understand anything.

Ever, I got pulled out of class to sit in those classes where they gave you extra time, which ended up messing me up more because then I was lost. When I got put back into classes, I also subconsciously was told basically like I was not smart enough and I was dumb in a way, and so that really affect the way that I tried to study and understand things, and until I completely switched myself concept Honestly, this happened in

grade twelve. Instantly my grades got so much better, and then I was really really good in college and I was like an A one student because I applied myself simply and also changing how I viewed myself from somebody who is slow and dumb to somebody who understands things. And it's fine if I need more time, like and I'm not actually saying like not actually trying to call myself dumb or slow, but like literally that's what I thought. So yeah,

anyways, let's get into the tips, because there's a lot. So somebody had asked tips for freshman year of high school, so I'm to make freshman year. Okay. So the thing is when we, like in Canada, we don't really call each year like freshman, sophomore, whatever the other ones are. We just call it like grade nine, grade ten, eleven, and twelve, like that is high school nine, ten, eleven, twelve. So I but I'm pretty sure freshman year would be like your first year.

I believe I could look that up, and I'm too lazy because I'm reading off my notion. Whatever you're early in your school year, I already know it understand that everyone everyone is in your shoes when you were starting out somewhere new or like a new grade or whatever. Like everyone doesn't know what the f they're doing. Everyone is scared and nervous. Everyone wants to do

really well. So just like embrace that. I feel like a lot of the times it's like we demonize the fact that we feel afraid or we demonize the fact that we're nervous, or like I shouldn't be nervous, and like how do I be more confident? How do I like love this stuff? But it's like, also embrace the fact that, yeah, I'm a little nervous today, Like yeah, oh my god, we're all like walking through school and like nobody really knows each other and everyone's trying to make friends and

this. That like just embrace that because I just feel like there's too much pressure on yourself when you try and tell yourself like you shouldn't be nervous or you shouldn't be in this like new era, like it's a new era. Embrace that. I also think just being open is going to be very helpful when you are starting anything off in a new year, a new school, coming back to anything. Be open to friends, be open to listening,

be open to the teachers. Just be open. I think that it's really going to help you be able to create networks and friendships and connections everything, regardless of the goal is to have friendships or not, even when it comes to good grades. Like I just being open with your energy is going to be so important for you to actually be successful in school with friendships things like that. One more thing is I think that you should detach from outcomes.

I think sometimes again we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, like when we're starting a new year in school or high school, it's like, oh my gosh, like I have to have the perfect outfit or I have to

like say the right thing. Like you might put a lot of pressure on yourself to let's say, find a group of friends, and you know, if you aren't having the best first day or the second day, or like people are not as a social or whatever, if you're super attached to being like oh I have to have I have to find a friend group, or I have to understand a concept in school, or like you know, my life is over, then it's just again you're just adding more pressure to yourself.

So detach from like needing to have friends or these certain friend groups or like needing to have the best grades, like you're going to get them. Yes, you're absolutely gonna get them, but like just chill, relax, like it doesn't need to be that big of a deal, like you will

absolutely figure it out. Somebody asked advice on being motivated but then procrastinating on things, and I just wrote my notes like you're not always going to be motivated, like you can't always rely on motivation for you to get things done. And now I am going to talk about some studying tips, so I'll continue to speak on that more, but just know, like you're not always going to feel motivated, so I'll just leave it at that. You won't

always be motivated, so don't rely on that. Someone asked how to make connections with people and make friends while studying at home exclusively. So I say, if you are somebody who's like studying at home, that is totally fine, but definitely don't underestimate the importance of connection. And I used to do this too, like I am definitely an introvert, and especially back in the day, like I had no interest in making friends. Well, I did

have the college experience for sure, when I went to Durham College. But as I was getting older, I was kind of just cared about getting the work done and that's that. And that's totally fine if that's like where you're at in life. But I also did not have a social group to begin with, Like I didn't even really have like solid friendship, So I really should have been putting myself out more. And so what I would say for that, and I think this kind of works with me just working from home

too, is get yourself out of the house. So if you can maybe go study or work at a like a public library that's near you. I used to do that sometimes depending on the school, like I'm you might have certain connections with different libraries or the actual school library of course, going to coffee shops, going to places where you know there's a lot of students that spend a lot of their times because students don't just always stay at the school

to study. Like I know, when I was in college, I definitely went to different like coffee shops, just getting around people who are kind of in that same vibe as you college student, or even maybe they're just they have their normal jobs. Getting around those people, you're going to give yourself the opportunity potentially just to look somebody in the eyes and say hi, and then you say hi every single time that you're there, and then eventually you

start talking. Like very small little things that you do changing up your environment will make a big impact on the potential friendships that you will make in your life. But like you just have to think about like this, and I guess this can kind of be a limiting belief because yes, you can make friends in certain situations, but like if you're always at home, the chances are you are not going to have a lot of friendships or connections because you're

always at home. So if that's what you're looking for, you must take yourself outside of your home. Go to coffee shop, go to a library that's like public. You can even go into Facebook groups, like I know that there's there was a lot of Facebook groups that I would get into.

I remember when I was going to Durham College. There's like Facebook groups for the dorms and stuff, so you can meet friends that way, and then they would have like weekly meetups where you would study together or you would even

go out together. Like there's so many things even looking in your hometown, Like I know, that outside of Georgian College, there were different I don't know, companies that would run these like weekends college things where it was more so like bar stuff, which I'm not really suggesting you go do like bar hops and stuff, but like that is another way that you could meet people, even if you like you follow them on Instagram. In the next day,

like you go and meet up with them and stuff. Obviously, not everyone, especially at the bar, is going to be your best friend during the day, but you never know, right, and it doesn't always have to be bar things, like there's always things probably going around to looking in your hometown on Facebook groups things like that, and even I'm sure you have

some friends who are in college that have other friends. So there's many times where you know what I actually think about this when it comes to my siblings.

By the way, if you guys don't know, I do have a few siblings, but they're half siblings, so I technically like I was, I grew up in a single parent not single parent, single child household, I guess, but I did have sisters and a brother who were around my age, but same dad, different moms, so they lived with their moms and I went to a high school right down the street from two of my siblings, and then my actual my third sister, ended up going to that

high school as well. So they were all three at North and I was at East View, and so I didn't have like the best I had friend groups at East View, but I feel like my high school experience was it was just like awkward and weird, and it wasn't like I didn't have friends. I definitely did, but I didn't have like the best friendships because I was also like unhappy and like I had friends. I definitely did, and we did a lot of things together. So I don't even know why I'm

saying that, but whatever doesn't matter. I think high school is like friendships are way different than older friendships. But a lot of the times I hung out with my siblings and then I met so many of my current friends now from them because I went to their parties. And it's so funny because last night on Instagram, this is going to be a quick side note, probably

not quick though. Last night I posted a video on my story and it was this video where you know where they have like little camcorders of recording whoever comes in and out of the house and it was recording like like a bunch of kids, like boys and girls walking in the house out of the house. They had like towels and bathing suits and you know, just like every

day. The camera was just recording them coming in and out and there were just like a bunch of friend groups and whatever, and they're talking about how or the parents I guess had recorded that and put it on Instagram and they were like when your house is the house and they're just saying, like, you know, we have the house that everyone comes to. We have all

the snacks, we have all the things. All the kids always want to come over things like that, which, by the way, I want that for my kids so bad, Like I want to have a home where all their friends come over, pool parties, like team parties, whatever. It is like I will be that suburban mother living through my children. I promise you that. I promise you that. But anyways, I had posted that and my sister had responded last night and she was like, oh my god,

this just reminds us. Reminds me of the days when we when her house was the house. By the way, her mom always let everyone come over. And my brother he was he played football, he played soccer, he played everything. He was like one of those like light skin athletes that like everyone loved, like everyone loved Row and so he was like very popular and like everyone always wanted to come to the parties. And then Vanessa was a very big socialite as well, so she had like a lot of friends

whatever. So everyone was always at the place at the house, and I met so many people from just putting myself there and now obviously like they're my siblings, so I was just like over there all the time. But I just mean, simply, if you have a friend who is more of a social butterfly than you, go hang out with that friend and listen, Okay, I was talking about partying. Obviously partying is not the most important thing. But I've I definitely met people who I didn't just like party with.

I was able to see and hang out with during the day, and I got into their friend groups and things like that. So I think, honestly, the best thing is if you are somebody who's more isolated, and you you were from home, you study from home, whatever, who is your friend that's more of a social butterfly than you, because honestly, go out with them a few times, and you will make a lot more friends, like honestly, and you'll probably pick up how to be a little bit more

social as well. That is my best tip. Someone asked, how does that being anxious about studying, and I think that, like, you need to remind yourself that you're not gonna die if you don't understand something or if something feels overwhelming. Okay, because this is a thing like when you're when you think about studying, it's like this huge project and you have the story that's attached to it, and the story is like I can't do it. It's going to be so hard, I'm not going to understand it. I

need to get this grade, or like I'm gonna die. Like you need to kind of like de escalate the situation or the story that you have in your mind about what it is that you're about to do, like truly, because if you don't, then yes, it's going to feel that big. It's going to feel like you're literally going to die, and then you're going to continue to procrastinate it. And you know, I think another thing is you need to start in smaller chunks when you feel like, oh my gosh,

this thing is so big. You want to work on the story that you're telling yourself about this thing, and then you want to give yourself a little small tangible goals or like things that you want to work towards when it comes to maybe studying or working on a project, if you think about that whole entire project and how you have to get all this done, and oh my god, I have to research for like two weeks, and then on top of that, then I have to come up with the presentation and then

I have to think about presenting it in front of my class, and I have so much anxiety, and that's going to be a whole Okay, let's not even think about you presenting in front of the class. Irrelevant right now. Okay, let's not think about the fact that you have to then take all that research and put it into something to presentation. Irrelevant right now. Let's first look at the fact that you have to research. Okay, that is still a little bit big and like it's a lot, but let's just

only focus on that. We will focus on the rest of stuff later. And on top of that, how can we make doing the research of this project a little bit more tangible, a little less scary Okay, well, let's not think about having to spend the whole entire week, every single day after school for five hours studying on this thing, Like that's also really big.

Okay, how can I bring it into smaller chunks? Okay, well maybe if I have to study every single day, which I do think when you are working on a projects, it really is helpful for you to stay consistent on that thing and do it in smaller chunks rather than you wait a whole week and then you bust it out for like five hours. I do think that it just it helps with anxiety if if you do something small every

single day I do think that. So, yeah, instead of doing four hours, you're just going to do one hour, and within that one hour study session, you're going to a method that we're going to talk about later on when it comes to studying. So it makes it even easier, Like you really have to make things smaller, more tangible. If not, the story is going to be insane, you're going to keep procrastinating and then you're

going to make it way worse than it needs to be. And it truly does not need to be like that, because at the end of the day, you are not going to die. I promise you that I know studying can be annoying and difficult, but you will not die. You'll be able

to do it. Okay, somebody asked, how can I say consistent with my healthy habits when my whole entire routine changes now that you're going back to school, which it would totally makes sense, right because usually maybe during the summer, you're waking up at like eight o'clock or nine o'clock and you have time to, like, I don't know, do whatever. Maybe you have a job, so you work at like five o'clock or whatever you do,

but you have so much time. But now, like back to school, you got to wake up at like six am get things done, and you have all this time throughout the day that you're at school. Like, I totally get it. Oh my gosh. I just remember I was posting a Drake song the other day, Scholarships from What a Time to Be Alive? I think that's the album I don't really remember, and it just brought me back to the time where I was really really in my health and fitness grind,

although I usually am so I don't even know why. I like say it as if I'm not really, but I would wake up at like five am in the dead middle of the winter, dark as shit, eat my oatmeal with my protein powder and my freaking peanut butter in that thing. Because that's when I was counting macros, which don't recommend. That was just way

too stressful for me. I would listen to that song. I would drive my old ass mas staff from my grandma's house because me and my mom got kicked out of our trap house at that point and I wasn't living with her.

Love that for me, so I just grinded more. That was a hard time for me, and I would drive to the gym and I would do like my hour workout and then I would get to class at like I don't even know by then, it was like six to seven seven ish, and I would oh, my gosh, it's so funny because I would have

usually have oatmeal again. I would literally go to tim Moren I would ask for a hot cup of water and I would go sit my ass down in class and I would pull out my container with my more protein powder and oats and I would put the hot water in it. I would make it in class, and that's that's what I would eat, and then I would be

into class because I just need to get it done. Like I didn't have a lot of time, and you know, it wasn't summer anymore where I could wake up at like seven o'clock and go to the gym and have this like fun fresh that girl morning routine. So I say all that, I don't know, maybe as inspiration, but also like this is what you're gonna have to understand. Your priorities are going to shift. Okay, so you might have to, yes, do a shorter workout if that's what you want

to do when it comes to consistent with your healthy habits. Another thing is maybe you need to go to sleep at least thirty minutes earlier than you usually do, or wake up at least fifteen minutes earlier than you usually do. And I know it sounds like small and like that's not gonna make a difference. It does. If you want to be healthy, you're gonna have to

understand the priorities are going to switch. But on top of that, you're gonna need to make a little bit more room for things, and you're going to shorten the things that you do do when it comes to healthy habits. But it's still it's still going to count. Your workout is still going to count, even if you do a thirty minute workout versus like your forty five minute like going to the gym and getting everything done, like having the best

time in your life. Like you just need to be a little bit more efficient. Now, I will suggest you will listen to the podcast that I posted last week about productivity. I talk about a lot of ways in which that you can be more productive and more efficient and short amount of times. And someone had also asked how to manage seven hours of school two hours of tuition? They said tuition, I don't know what that really means. Homework,

exams, hobbies, getting it all done. And honestly, like, if I'm gonna be dead ass with you, and I'm doing this because I want you to just like not be so stressed, You're not going to get it all done. You're not You're not going to be able to get seven eight hours of school and then like let's say you have a job and then hobbies and then all your healthy routines and balancing friends and family and everything perfect, You're not going to do it. And guess what, you don't need

to this is a new season of your life. Understand this. Okay, So the season of life for you, for most of you is school. So the main priority is going to be school and studying and getting the ship done that you need to get done and being very productive and efficient and learning how to do things and not waste your time of course, but even then there's still going to be like a little bit of time and your days and your weeks where you're going to have to be able to allot it to your

hobbies, to your friends, to your work whatever. It's not that you can't have your hobbies or you can't see your friends, but maybe it's gonna look like you're probably having like a weekend with your friends once a month, like you have three other weekends. Like there's not that many weekends in a month, right, so you know, ideally, yes, we want to have our weekends with our friends and there are hobbies and then after school like

asleep whatever. But really basically, yeah, maybe it's going to be once a month that you go and see your friends and you go out and do something, and the other three weekends are using to prioritize your hobbies or working working at work like I did not have a social life for so many freaking years because weekends we're not an option for me to just go hang out. And if I did go out, I was still getting my ass up and

working. Like there was I never, ever, ever, ever, until I went full time as a social media influencer that I had free weekends to like wake up at eight am and like watch YouTube videos and like go see my friends and like get ready and like whatever. No, I worked. I worked all of the time, and if I did go out, I literally this is insane that I even did this. But I would go out

to the club. And this is like early in the college years. Though, I will say, but even when after the college years, like I still worked and sometimes I would go out, but maybe it wouldn't go as late. But when like my early college years, I would literally go out to the club. I would get home maybe two oclock, get into bed at three o'clock, wake my ass up at five am to start my tim Horton shift at six am. That's literally what I would do until I started

to move into the more bartending industry. And then obviously I had like days where I could actually sleep in, but still, you know what I would do when I would bartend, and I would like bartend weddings and whatever. The wedding would be done at, Like it depends on when. Sometimes I would close a shift and there'd be no point because everyone that's downtown would be leaving. But sometimes I would be done around like twelve or one o'clock.

Guess where my ass was going downtown to meet all my friends. Like, girl, you just worked an eight hour shift. So anyways, I say all that just to say, you're not going to be able to balance at all, and that's totally fine, so don't try, Like, just don't try to do it, like take off the stress. Understand that there's going to be so much time for hobbies and so much time for friends and all of these amazing things certain areas of your life, and it doesn't need to

be perfectly It's like a perfectly balanced life does not exist. Like we can try and aim for balance, but it's not. It's not always going to be like that, and that's totally fine. Someone had asked advice for going back to school after a few years. So I'm assuming you're probably like a mature student, so maybe you took time off and then you're going back, and they also said, like how to put blinders on and just like focus

on yourself without comparing. I'm assuming, I'm assuming what they mean is feeling maybe a little bit insecure because you're going back to school. Maybe you're a little bit older, and you're not in like the college scene of like partying and like doing like I don't know, sorority shit, not like we had it here, but like that kind of stuff, you know, the partying that this that understand that there are so many people who are mature students and

who take a long periods of time off and come back. And so I just say that because you're not alone, Like you're absolutely not alone, but even younger people like not everyone does the whole college experience in the partying. Some people can't. Like I did for a little bit when I was living in the dorms at Durham College. But like at the end of the day, like girl, like I not no nepple baby, nobody paying my bills. Okay, I had to get up every day and every single time that

I wasn't studying, I was basically working or doing something. Like I tried my best to go out and have fun, but like that wasn't the reality of like every single year in college. I experienced it for a little bit, but then I realized like now, But on top of that, I didn't even really love it, Like I wanted to work on my health and fitness and like prep myself for my future because I had to, Like I

was in survival mode, like I had no time to chill. But honestly, I think that there's no point in comparing yourself or judging yourself because no one's really judging you. But you like if you were to go into a classroom, let's say, and everyone's younger than you, it is really irrelevant

that you're older. Like if somebody, let's says, if somebody did say something to you, it's like, okay, well they're just being rude and insecure, so like they're irrelevant and a lot of the times, like I remember when I was in school, like if I did see something, there was always people who were older than me in school, and I looked at them like amazing, You're amazing. You're going back to school, you're taking

something, you're getting stuff done, Like who could even knock that? You know, like other than you, Like you're the one being insecure, So anything that you think you're gonna perceive everyone to be like judging you, and really it's like just you and your perception. So anyways, yeah, like you're you're not wrong for going back. It's actually really like I commend you

for going back. And also like you're not missing out on anything. If you feel like you're back in college and everyone else is like having that college experience and you're not, that's totally fine. There's many many students regardless of age, that are not partying, who are not like having all these crazy friend groups in sorority and like the college pictures and this that Like, no, that is not that's just what you see on social media honestly and maybe

maybe sometimes in school too. But like, it's totally fine if you're not that. Like, there's so many people who you can find who are honestly just like studying and doing their own thing as well. Okay, somebody asked how to decide your major. Listen, what you're not going to do is decide your life path from somebody on the internet who gives you advice. So

just take this with a pinch of salt. Okay. I do think though, like one thing and by the way, like thank you for asking, Like I'm not saying like that that was a stupid question, but it's just like you, I don't know, Like I can only give you my advice to take out the pinch of salt. I think, for one, you're never going to fully know, so just like always leave room for that. Like I feel like some people really struggle with choosing me because they really just

don't know. So I would say, you don't need to fully know, and most likely things are going to change anyways, and you can do that throughout school, so don't wait for the time that you're going to feel one thousand percent like yes, I got this and I know exactly what I want to do. And even if you do, I thought that I did. I told myself that I did, and I decided that I did not want

to do that. So it's totally fine, okay, But you know, thinking about like what you do well in or what major you should take. I think you just have to think about what are you interested in? What could you sit down and like watch youtubes for hours about like videos I should say not youtubes videos for like hours about or read about or what does your

friends or your family always say that you're super super good at Now. I feel like a lot of people, especially girls, would be like, oh, like I'm the advice friend, like everyone comes to me for advice, like I love it whatever, and you see them go into the field of psychology, which is like would make kind of sense, maybe even more into communications per se, but like, yeah, just thinking about you know,

what are your kind of natural talents and gifts. What are you naturally really really interested even if you let's say you're not talented at that thing, but like what are you really interested in? And when you take that major, like you're going to find certain classes that spark an interest within you and you

can go in that direction. So I would say that now. I think also making sure you do a lot of research on the types of majors and like degrees and everything that you can get is very helpful because I just think back to when I would take when I took hospitality, Like as much as yes, I was interested in that because that's how I thought I wanted to live my life and have that career, I also was not even looking at anything to do with marketing, communications and or psychology or even social work or

sociology anything like that, and those were the things that I was actually really interested in. And I feel like if I did more research than I would have came across programs like that, and I probably would have considered doing that. So I would just really say, do your research. And a lot of people nowadays, not everyone, I know, all you guys are really into like social media and stuff, but a lot of you guys are into

wanting to do something with social media. Let's say, but let's say you still have to go to school, Like for sure, I've seen a lot of people do this, and they've actually especially in my one friend tests like she she I don't know if she was into social media before she went to school. I don't think so. I don't think that that's how it worked. But I see a lot of people and her using their degrees to apply to things like social media, Like they became content creators. That became something

to do with branding or marketing things like that. So let's say you're really into something to do with social media, well maybe if you go to that you go on into the school's website and there's no actual program about like how to be social media influencer, or whatever. But maybe you look at more things like marketing or pr communications, and what you will find is there's gonna

be a lot of crossover when it comes to the social media world. So I would say, maybe look into that if you're really interested in that, of course, obviously, like if you love watching YouTube videos on health and wellness or YouTube videos. I don't know, I know not everyone only just watches YouTube videos, but I'm just saying, like this is just an example

of something that may spark your interests. If you find that you're reading a lot or watching a lot of podcasts or listening to a lot of podcasts about health, fitness, or psychology or like social like social issues, then maybe you can look into like more social work or sociology or of course psychology, things like that. So I would just think about the things that you really love and are interested in, and people will also say that you're really good

at. Or let's say you start asking your friends and family like what could you see me doing? You know, And a lot of the times sometimes we know, like when people tell us like, oh, like I like when people tell me, oh, I could see you being a therapist, Like obviously, it's like the number one thing that I always get. I always knew that, But there's obviously like certain things too that people will tell me that I never really thought of. But then I because people see parts

of you that you actually don't necessarily see or don't believe in. So like for me, I remember, like all my life, people would always say that, like they could see me becoming like one of those dancers, like background dancers or just like dancers with people like big celebrities who are on stage all the time. And I was like, I actually loved I wanted to do that, but like that part of me was like thrown into my shadows

so much that I had just like never even considered it. I never ever looked at myself like somebody who could ever be able to be a background dancer or whatever. But people around me saw, like, you have talent, you could do that like whatever. Obviously that wasn't my life path at least

for right now it's not. But like it's good to kind of ask people their opinions in a way, not from a place of like guiding you and like deciding, but just to see what people think and like what they could see you doing based off of your amazingness that maybe you can't fully see yet. Okay, somebody said, well, multiple people had said this, how to study something I don't really like? And she said it was med school or maybe it was a guy, but I'm pretty sure it was a girl.

But I have to because my parents. And then somebody else said, like, I want to drop out, but my mom is forcing me da da Again, this is coming from somebody on the internet, Like, I can't dictate your life. Obviously, if you are under the age of like eighteen, you only have so much decision making that you can make, right. I really do think it's very unfortunate that and this, you know what,

I'll pay play Devil's advocate here. I understand why parents, for the most part, push their children to do something like med school or become a freaking scientist or become a well med school as a doctor but whatever, something in that field, or a lawyer or things like that, because that's what they've learned how to do, and like that's gonna be quote unquote where you make money and things like that, and it's it's like a survival thing.

They want their best for the kids. This that. But I do think that it's also really sad because it's like a lot of people don't want to do that. And I think that there's a lot of people who go through years and the years and years of this stuff where they end up becoming very unhappy and they're in debt and they literally don't want to do it. So this is what I would suggest, okay, And this is coming from somebody who did not have a parent who forced them to do anything they didn't want

to do. And when I mean that is my mother. When my father is a whole completely different story. But he also passed away when I was sixteen years old, and that would have been a different story. Although he wasn't super hard with me when it came to academia because he wasn't really an academic, he was hard on me about other things. A lot of the times it was helpful and some of the times it was traumatizing to say the

least. But when it came to school, he didn't really have that much of a say because he also wasn't that successful when it came to school. Love him though, obviously arrest in peace. But my mom, on the other hand, was completely different, and she was very very open and like let me do whatever I wanted, which was great. I love that. So it's coming from somebody who did not have that. So this is what I think my best advice. And like what maybe could I'm not even gonna

say could work. Okay, I understand that this might not work, but almost like build a case for yourself, because this is the thing you're saying, like you don't want to do med school or like you want to drop out, or you don't want to do this. Okay, you need to come up with a very good reason as to why you don't want to do this and what you want to do instead. Because understand that your parents are

not going to be okay with you not doing anything. So if you're coming to them just being like I don't want to do it anymore and like I don't like it and it's just it's just stressfulness that okay, well guess what

you gotta do something? So what is it going to be? And if you have not built a case, if you have not done your research, if you have not followed your interests or your passions, and you've done your like like I just said, research and you've written like a huge case as to what you can do differently, if you drop out, like what you're gonna do, like your whole plan everything like that, are you going to convince them to be able to leave this whatever it is that you're doing.

Probably not. Now. I'm not saying that this is going to work, but I think that that is going to be your best bet when it comes to trying to change somebody's mind about something, because again, your parents want the best for you. They want to see you grow and involve, and honestly a lot of parents don't even know what's out there other then like med school, are going to be a lawyer or going into business or get counting

things like that, right, so they might not even be aware. And again this might be so much convincing that it might be too much and you never be able to change their mind, but who really knows. And the last thing I'll say about the whole not wanting to take this major, if that doesn't work and you can't convince your parents of you know, leaving dropping out things like that, and it's really not your decision, which it really

should be. I just think that you should really try and be open and understand that not every single class you're gonna like and not every single class you're going to like excel at. Maybe but if you and I know it can be hard, like med school, Like I never went to med school, I can only imagine, and I like, I commend people for that, but like for you to even expect yourself to love it, I don't know. I think that's kind of I don't think anyone could possibly love every single

part of med school. But I feel like if you're open and you have a positive mindset and optimistic mindset, you might start to I'm not saying you're going to absolutely love and enjoy it, but maybe you'll pick up on something that you didn't because you were open or because you enjoyed it, and that's going to lead you into a new insight or a new interest that will lead

you into a new class. And maybe that is a class that opens up your mind about you know, specializing in something when it came to med school, and maybe actually you do want to be in med school, but maybe you just didn't want to do this specialization or like you know, like something sparks your interests or your passion, but when you are very very very close off and you're like, I don't want to be here and I'm not going

to do this and whatever. Well, if you're if you're going to be there and you have to do it, then do your best to make it the best damn fucking year that you possibly can make it or years right, And I know it can be difficult when you're when you've been like you're convinced

yourself like absolutely not, I do not want to do this. But I think that if you learn how to be a little bit more productive, you learn how to overwhelm yourself too much and not have much anxiety and stress when it comes to studying and like managing school, which can be difficult, I

know it can. I think that it does give you a little bit more room to find something because I just I just believe, no matter what path you're taking, whether it's not necessarily the path you want to be on, taking steps forward will eventually get you to where it is that you're supposed to be in life. But if you dig your heels into the ground and you say no, I don't want to do this and I want to do nothing at all, then no, you're not going to find what it is that

you really are passionate about. And if you have this circumstance that is very fixed right now. And I've been in very fixed environments and situations and I couldn't get out of them. The only thing that I could do is change my perception about those experiences and say, you know what I got to do with what I have right now? This is not ideal. I don't want to be in it, but I'm going to find some light, some positive aspect of this shitty ass thing right now, and I'm going to make this

work as much as I can. In every single time, I changed my mindset and my perception around the thing that I was happening in my life from looking at it as negative to somewhat positive and somewhat this is a part of my journey, this is there's a reason for this, There was a lesson for this. I always found what it is that I was supposed to find. I always found my path. I always found some insight that brought me closer to where it is that I am today. So just take that with

what you will. I know it can be difficult, but I would honestly say, like, build a really solid case for your parents if you're really trying to like change something. Oh one thing Actually, I will say this. My mom did push me a little bit in school, and I'll give you this quick thing. Not quick, you already know it's not gonna be quick. So when I was in hospitality at that point, it was my second year, and I kind of knew that I didn't want to go out

west and work in the hotels and resorts. I didn't really want to do that. So I was kind of like checked out of it, and I was really into health and fitness, and like I just didn't want to pursue anything. But I was still gonna do it. I wasn't gonna drop out. I was going to finish the course whatever it wasn't it was easy, fun course whatever. Had a good time in school. But one of our classes was co op. So we had to find a co op and the co op had to be which is like an internship. By the way,

if you guys don't know, it was wasn't unpaid. Yes, it was an unpaid internship. So we had to find something in the field of hospitality. And now a lot of people went to hotels and worked at the front desk or they did some sort of management or whatever, but hospitality also includes bartending, and serving. And now we actually had a fine dining class where we taught. We got taught everything. We had a wine in spirits class, we got trained. The top of the line had to serve highest end.

It was great. Although I hated it. I hated fine fine dining. I did not want to serve ice. Still to this day do not like serving fine dining. Like I would never be able to work at a really expensive stakhouse or anything because I just like cannot, I cannot, I just like I don't know whatever. So even though I did, I did work and do fine dining at a private golf club. I ended up doing that and I literally hated that part of it. I hated working in the

dinner service part. I liked doing like bartending and working on the course and stuff like that. But anyways, we had to find an internship. And so while I was at Georgian College still I was still working full time at Tim Hortons because it was just an easy job that was paying my bills for what I had to pay, and I had seniority there at at the end of the day, like I was a good worker. It was very easy.

It was like home to me. So I worked there for a long time, and I was like, Okay, well, let me just do extra hours at tim Hortons because it falls under hospitality. And I was able to actually get them to actually do it if I wanted to, and I knew I was keeping very small because it was already a place that I was working at. But I was like, I don't really want to, like I don't want to do anything, so like, let me just stay here and just do extra hours here. And my mom was like, you're not

doing that. You're not doing that. You're going to find a job that's in the hospitality, even if it's not your job, or sorry, even if it's not in a hotel, You're at least gonna go find something. And they had a list of things where you could work, right, And so that's where I found the golf course because golf courses are tied into like the hospitality, because yes, it's like serving and bartending, but there's like events that you can do, and like I did a lot of bartending weddings,

and I did a lot of setups for weddings. We set up weddings every single weekend. It was insane the amount of weddings that I worked, and so there's all that hospitality aspect of things, and like different little corporate events and stuff that we did. So I ended up finding the golf course and then I was like, Okay, I'll go to the interview, and

I ended up getting that job and I did co op. So I did all the events and everything like that, and then I ended up realizing that there's more money to be made in the serving and bartending industry than there is working a minimumui's job at tim Horton. So even though I still didn't want to work in hospitality, and I decided and I graduated that I'm not going out west, I'm not working at a hotel resort. I don't really care

to do that. I ended up getting a job out of this, which was a job that allowed me so much experience to not only move into another like I ended up obviously when I left Barry, I served and bartended at an actual, like true restaurant, even though that was a true restaurant.

And on top of that, it made me so much more money, so much more money, and I gained so much more experience, and I was I came in contact with so many people that actually was like at the golf club, like very wealthy people at the golf club, very connected, well connected people. I made so many cool friends there and it just allowed me

to work smart or not harder, and I wouldn't have been able. And I the reason why I'm saying this too is because the serving and bartending literally held me all the way until I wanted to leave my corporate job and be able to do social media full time because I was still serving and bartending as I was doing my corporate job, and then I want to realize I didn't want to do that as well in the health and fitness space. I was

like, Okay, well I want to leave this job. And I was able to leave because I was making enough money in a short amount of time bartending and serving, which allowed me to work on my social media to get me to where I'm at right now. So that was needed. I had to take that leap, not even to leap of faith. I shouldn't say that, but I had to take that step out of my comfort zone even though I was convinced I didn't want to. M no, I'm just gonna stay here, and my mom was like, no, you're going in that

direction. So I guess I say that as well as because like, as much as you might think that you know something, it's not that you don't, right, But it's like, don't have so much resistance to things because you never know where that could lead you. And that was a part of my path That wasn't the end all working at the golf club or anything to do with hospitality, but that was a bridge to where I'm at right now.

It made my life ten times more easier to be able to build my social media on the side when I had when I was able to work let's say, four shifts a week versus a five work week Monday to Friday, driving in and out of work and all this shit, and not even making enough money to be able to like live versus like bartending, not even working as many hours, but making a fun time of money and tips and a short amount of time. Right. So it's just like everything is connected.

I swear I could go for days. Everything is connected. Okay, Oh my gosh, this episode's getting really really long. But whatever, I haven't done a very long episode in a long time study techniques. Okay, so I use this thing and it's called the Palmadero. I don't know if I'm saying that right, but it's spelt p O m O d O r O, and it's essentially this technique where you study on and then you take a break, and then you study on, take a break on and off,

on and off. Now I don't think it matters like how many minutes. Like I think that there's people who do like twenty five minutes on and then you take a five minute break and then twenty five minutes and then five minute break until you hit an hour or until you hit the goal that you wanted to actually accomplish. But what you can do is you can go on YouTube

and I do this. The reason why I'm also really saying this is because I still use this today when I do any sort of work, but especially when I'm writing my book and I'm doing things regarding like writing, I go on YouTube and I will either I use that method, but I also just sometimes just go on and write a one hour or two hours study with me, and I like work through that whole entire thing. So it depends on

if you want breaks or not. I find if you're somebody who's very overwhelmed, you have a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress, it's better to do this method where you're timed for twenty five minutes and then what it will do. It will beep on YouTube and then you can take your five minute break and then go back into it. My lord, that's when you know I've been talking for way too long when my camera keeps heating up. I don't know where I stopped, but we were talking about the study technique.

So if you are doing something that's creative and you need a lot of like creative flow and just like writing, I honestly highly suggest you just go on YouTube and find like a one hour or two hours study with me with

no breaks, and then just take a break when you need to. But if you are overwhelmed or you just are doing tasks that don't necessarily involve a lot of flow states and it's just like you doing some research or I don't know, mundane tasks but for a project, then I would suggest maybe doing the Palm and Darrow. I think that's how you say it study technique.

I just think that it just helps and just having a timer in general in the background, and they usually play music in the background as well, so I would suggest that and also again go to my productivity episode that I did

last week, and I have some good tips for that as well. Somebody asked tips on how to take notes, and this is a good The reason why I wrote this is because I used to be somebody who would chronically try and write absolutely every single thing that the teacher would be saying, and I would then not actually take in anything at all. And I realized as I started to really apply myself in school, I would actually learn something when I

listen to the teacher instead of focusing on writing down every single word. Because half the time that I'm writing down these things, I'm not even gonna remember it. So then when it comes to test time or when it comes to actually going home and learning something, I have actually no idea what it is that I learned, and I have to reread all my notes. But even when I'm reading the notes, like I'm not retaining the information because I wasn't

engaged with what they were saying. So this is what I say. You can take notes, sure, but like literally just take notes in a way of like, oh, this is interesting and this is something that I don't really know too much about, so I'm gonna write it down. I'm gonna jot it down on my paper, and I'm gonna look into it later, or I'm gonna look into the textbook that we have for the class later, or I'm gonna ask my teacher about this later. I'm not going to try

and write every single word that they're saying. I will like literally research that later. The main thing is, I let me listen to what the teacher is saying, because this is what happens. When you actually listen to the teacher. You are actually retaining the information you are imagining in your head, or you're listening to their words or whatever it is. However, you learn and everyone's like different and people are like neurodivergent in this that. But I

think it's really important for you to be engaged with the teacher. And this is what's going to happen if you don't actually understand something. That is when you can actually put up your hand and ask. You need to ask questions. If you don't understand something, ask And I get it. I used to be somebody who was definitely afraid to put my hand up in class.

Okay, I get it, But you can't be that person if you do not understand, put up your hand and ask in that moment, or write something down that you do not understand that they just said, and at the end of class, go ask and get them to explain it to you, because this is what's gonna happen. If you don't understand something, you're gonna keep going down this road of not understanding more and more things, and things

are gonna get more confusing for you. There's so many times where I didn't ask questions, and once I started asking questions in class, I was like, oh my god, now I get it because somebody explained it to me. Or I stop trying to rate everything word for word because half that ship was irrelevant anyways, and just listen to what they're saying. And then I actually went home and realized that I understood what it is that they were saying

because I was listening. I wasn't writing things. I wasn't trying to like recall what was that word she said before that word? No, please take taking notes very very lightly, I guess. I don't know, just like, don't put that your main focus. I just think that it's it's very counterproductive at least somebody, especially for me, Like I'll say, like I need time, I need a lot of time to understand a concept. I

need to ask a lot of questions. And I was never a student in school where like let's say in a math like a math class and they're doing some calculation on the board, and then the teacher turns around and says, Okay, what's the answer, and everyone's hands are flying up. My hand wasn't flying up because I still need to sit here and like calculate what I'm

just what I'm seeing on the board, Like I need a second. And if you're a person who needs a second, most likely it's not going to be helpful for you to just like try and word for word right whatever it is, and instead give yourself time to understand something by just listening, digest the information, ask your question, and move on, and then of course go home and think about it again and work it out, or like ask

somebody to explain it to you if you need. Somebody had said advice on failing classes, thinking these classes are not for you getting selected or not feeling not smart enough. I think the worst thing that you could do for yourself is to now look at yourself. If you, let's say you fail to class or you didn't get selected or whatever, like you are less than that, you're dumb, that you can't do it, whatever. And I know obviously that's how you're going to feel initially when you get a bad grade or

you're not understanding something. But I think there's no reason for you. First of all, you're not going to be one hundred percent perfect all the time. And if you're straight a student, amazing, you're just so amazing. We love that part. Yeah, okay, but I was not that, And I think that, like I had already said, the worst thing that you can do is try, and now create not try, but you're creating this self concept that you are somebody who fails. That's somebody who doesn't get

it, somebody who will never understand it. I remember I used to tell myself all the time, I don't understand math, or I don't understand science, or I can't do it. I can't do it. Stop telling yourself that you can't do it. Start telling yourself a new story. Okay, I struggle with this topic and I need to learn how to learn better and retain the information better. But it doesn't mean that I can't understand science or

I can't understand complex topics. Do you know how many times I thought that I couldn't understand anything to do with psychology, sociology, economics, politics. Every time I heard anything to do with any of those subjects, I was like, Nope, I have no idea, I can't, I don't. I don't get it until I was like and even geography, by the way, and then I was like, you know what, No, my schooling has been completely shit okay, And all I needed was more time and extra

help that I didn't get. On top of that, I came from a household that was not it wasn't helpful for me to actually learn. I went home and nobody was checking on if I was doing school work, and if I was, my dad was screaming at me, so then I didn't understand anything anyways. Or my mom, like she was at work so she couldn't really help me. Like there was many things at home life that that wasn't creating an environment where I was able to actually retain information and understand things.

So no wonder I wasn't the best student, honestly, so you kind of have to look at your life in that way. And like we didn't have any money to do any tutoring or anything like that either. But I never let my upbringing or the fact that I struggled at one point understanding different topics at school affect how I was going to learn when I was older, and I realized, Okay, these are things that I still do not understand, and it's affecting how I show up in life and conversations, and I want

to understand them. So I decided to take my time and learn them, however long it was going to take, if I had to spend time after school, if I was in school learning about a certain topic, or even after I was out of college, and I realized, oh, I don't know a lot about geography or economics or freaking geography, Like I feel like a lot of us come out of school not knowing shit at all. So I just decided to take my time. And I think that, yeah,

just you aren't. Even if you feel like you're not understanding something, there's usually probably a reason, like maybe it's the way in which that you're trying to learn that thing, or maybe you're putting a lot of stress on it. And then of course there's always gonna be time where you just don't really you're not interested in certain topics, so it's going to be harder for you to stay focused on And that's also okay too, Like I don't think that

you're going to excel in absolutely every single thing. It doesn't mean that you're dumb or whatever. It's just like that topic is probably not for you, and that's totally fine. And also, like even in school, like if you do need more time on an exam or a test or a project, or you have to ask a lot more questions than the other people in your claus who cares literally irrelevant, irrelevant what somebody else and how they are learning

and what they are doing is compared to you. Like just like let's leave that at the door. Let's leave comparison at the door. Somebody that also asks, like you know, I shall gole with like secretly kind of feeling like I have to compete with my friends in terms of grades and projects and

all that kind of stuff. And I get it, Like, you know, it's not bad to be having a little part of you that's like competitive in a sense of like you want to just be successful, right, but other people's success should really be irrelevant to yours because there's room for a lot of people to win. Okay, a lot of people live in scarcity and

they think that there is not and there is. So I would suggest just focusing on your path what you need to do when it comes to educating yourself, asking questions, applying yourself listening, taking that extra time, prioritizing school right now. And if that means yes, you're gonna have to, you know, not hang out with your friends all the time or like all of this time into hobbies even if you're ends are doing that. Guess what you

are on the path that you need to be on. And guess what all of this time that you put towards school and working on your future self is going to be worth it. I promise you it's never not going to be worth it if you decide to bet on yourself and go for what you want in your life. Someone also asked, like, how to get a job after college. Now, I'll quickly just sum it up by saying, start as soon as you can if you're in college still last year, because there's

a few people who are in their last years. Set yourself up for success. Start looking for jobs in the industry that you need. Also, be

open to people and places and connections. Going on LinkedIn. Can you help like you searching up like people in certain roles of the companies that you're trying to get into, Let's say, using the teasered resources that they give you that nobody wants to freaking like take or apply themselves to be super open even if you feel like I don't want to be in that job or that job

seems boring or whatever. You never know. You could start at a position and then three months later they open up a new position and it gives you more money, or it gives you more experience, and then that experience leads to something else. Also understand that when you're starting out somewhere new in a field, there's gonna be times where you're gonna have to put in that work

and it might be free work, right or whatever. Like when you're starting out new, you kind of have to really put your effort and understand that people are looking for value. What value can you bring me to this job right now as an intern as somebody, let's say, or even if I'm gonna pay you, what do you have that's different than everyone else's And a lot of the times people business owners, it's not even just about them looking

for credentials. I hear this all the time. Even for me. When I got my corporate job, I didn't even have the actual I did have the credentials, but there are people who had way more credentials than I did. But I decided to apply myself. I decided to continue to ask to show up to help extra help. I would even pick up shifts or people. I would ask people like do you need to actually help on any projects that you need, like always telling them like I'm available, I want this

job, like please let me know if anything opens up. I made very deep connections with the managers. I always made sure that I was falling up with things like being proactive in that way is going to put you in the eyes of somebody who eventually is going to need you to fill a position. So like, you ain't gonna get what you want by sitting sitting around and hoping and praying and wishing on a damn star. I'll tell you that for

free. You know, like even when it comes to manifesting, like yes, yes, yes, get the mindset right, spiritual, this, that and the third vibes high vibrations. But and then you have to take that action and go and do the thing that you want. Right, if you want to become a YouTuber, you need to actually decide what it is that you're going to sit down and film and record and upload a video and do it consistently. You're not going to be a YouTuber by not doing that.

So there's always the masculine with the feminine. Stop letting your anxiety take over you asking a question. Understand that those thoughts and those negative stories that you have are just old manifestations of you and the self doubt. That's irrelevant. It's not you, it's not the story. You are smart. You can do it. You can learn, you can implement things, even if it takes you a lot of time. Whatever it is, you have to start

to reconstruct that story that you tell yourself. Oh one more quick question that I'll answer because I didn't actually I forgot about that one. Someone said how to deal with girl drama, and like friendship drama, I literally just wrote on my notes, don't just don't, just don't, don't deal with it. If people are gossiping and people are doing shit you don't want to do, and you know it's not align to you, this is not the time

anymore. Like I'm so sick and TI. I don't care what aige you're at that we just like feel like we have to deal with stupid shit we don't want to. This is not the year that we're going to be dealing with things that we do not want to deal with. If people are around you who are being negative, who are complaining, who are gossiping, who are doing shit you don't want to do, remove yourself from the situation, find you friends, stop people pleasing. I literally put a post a video

on YouTube. If you struggle with that people pleasing. Focus on your vision that you hold for yourself, and if you don't have one, make a vision where you want to be next three to five years. What are the steps in which you're going to take to get to yourself there? And how are you going to do that every single day? And keep focus on that. And I think that productivity video will definitely help, and also my videos

on preparing for a fall will definitely help on YouTube. But I just think that, like you know, it's just you have to think about the bigger picture here. I don't care what age you're at, Like, this is not we don't have we have a lot of time here on earth. But we don't have that much time, okay, to just be wasting our time doing things we don't want to do, or talking about things that we don't want to do, or being friends with people who don't want to be friends

with. And this is the thing, Like you're probably going to upset some people when you decide that you don't want to engage in conversation about certain topics or party anymore, or focus on yourself more. And that's okay, And I honestly just think that's kind of the price that you pay to becoming the

person that you really want to be and understanding that. You know, in the moment, you might lose some friends or you might feel like you're being left out because you're not doing what everyone else is do in college or high

school or whatever. But that also doesn't mean that you're always going to be lonely as well, Like you're actually creating a lot of room for people to come into your life that you actually want to spend time with and you want to do fun things with and you want to have this life or relationships. You know, even when you like step out of hook up culture and you stop doing all that stupid shit, you might feel like, oh it's boring. I'm alone, I'm a loner, I'm single. But you're creating a

lot of space for healthier people to come into your life. So just understand that. But in the moment, yes, you will have to kind of deprioritize things and lose a few things, but understand that it's all for you and it's not against you. So I hope this episode helped you in some capacity. I rented for so long about so many things. I realized that I just had way too many questions. I couldn't even answer them all. I wish you guys nothing but the best for the school year, and I'll

be here every week. So if you guys need more advice or anything like that, you can always submit your questions on the podcast Instagram or on the community tab here on YouTube if your wing. Make sure that you subscribe to the YouTube channel if you aren't, because I know a lot of people,

just find my videos on the homepage. Also, I am considering doing two episodes a week on the podcast starting sometime in September, but I want to talk about that next week because next week is going to be a little bit more chatty as well. When it comes to just like the summer ending. Things that helped me gloat up this summer. Lots of recommendations, just chit chat shit that sounded really weird. Also like things that I want to do

for the podcasts and stuff. So you'll hear more about that next week. So I hope you guys enjoyed and I'll see you in the next one. By