Hi everyone. My name is Alicia Gogan, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand your mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the best version of yourself. Hello everyone, how are we doing? I missed an upload date, which was Thursday because I am just getting over a cold. I'm hopefully going to be posting this episode on Friday or Saturday, so really only like a day or two later.
So I apologize for anyone who didn't get the memo and you don't follow me on Instagram, what you should Alicia Gogan, and you didn't see that. I said that I was sick and that I won't be posting, but I really feel like life is coming back into my soul and I have enough energy to record today, and I quite frankly missed you guys, and listen. I have been sick for the past week, and at the beginning of that sickness, I was basically going through a little bit of a mental health
crisis. Actually crisis is way too big of a word. I was resetting my mental health and I did make a vlog because I think I had some good tips for that reset. So if you're interested in that, then you can go watch out on my channel, my main channel, Alicia Gogan. But I have been going through it. I've also heard that it's mercury retrograde. The gatorade is in the microwave right now, also that there's some sort of either full moon eclipse. It's giving. The planets are doing things that
I don't really love, but it's needed. It's absolutely needed. I do feel like I went through a death and rebirth. Partly was because I was sick, but I do think the planets do be planeting, and I am a Scorpio, and apparently the scorpios really got thrown into it this time around. So I am feeling rebirth. And you know what, This happens a lot when I get sick, but also when my mental health kind of goes down in the dumps for a moment, I get triggered. I have to
work through things whatever. I always come out with so much wisdom, so much knowledge, so much juiciness, so much zest for life. And that is what I'm here to share with you today. I did so much journaling in the past week. I really had to to keep myself sane and work through and process a lot of my emotions, a lot of the things that I have been feeling. And one thing I do love about a good journal practice with me is I end up coming up with so many different topics,
so many talking points that I can bring to you guys. And I know that you guys are going through a lot of the same things that I either am currently going through or have been through, or whatever the case is. And we need to talk about self love because I feel like I have not talked about self love in a while on the podcast, although I feel like every episode could really be you know, it's a part of your self love practice, and listening to podcasts in general can be a form of self love.
But even for myself, I really haven't taken a look at my relationship with myself in the way of really analyzing, like how much do I love myself? Am I doing things that are truly self loving? And really have I asked myself this question in a while? And the question is what would somebody who loves themselves do? So let me give you a whole backstory and let's unpack what I mean by this question that I'm posing to you, to
myself and really to the universe. So recently, I've been having conversations in my life around feeling loved, and some of my friends have been struggling with really knowing what it feels like to be in love, to have love. I think we all struggle with, you know, having our lovers and consistency and real relationships, and sometimes we're really experiencing people not showing up properly, people being inconsistent, people disappointing us, and in turn we feel a lack
of love. Now, on one hand, it's totally normal to feel that, especially when you have an attachment to somebody, when somebody's not showing up a certain way, when somebody's disappointing, when somebody's being inconsistent, of course
you're naturally going to feel that lack of love. But realistically, when we get so torn and shot down and so incredibly disregulated, when somebody's love is not a consistent, flowing energy in our lives, this is when we really need to explore just how much we are trying to experience the feeling of love and trying to get love outside of ourselves versus how much is actually from our own selves. And something that I've had to ask myself recently, same with
some of my friends. Is why are we looking so much outside of ourselves for this feeling of love? Why do we feel so incredibly empty the moment somebody doesn't show up a certain way. We don't get that text, they don't show up, they don't send that emoji, they don't have that tone of voice. Why do we get so incredibly distraught from that? And the truth is, it's because we don't have a lot of that within ourselves to
begin with. We don't have that as our starting point. The only love that we are actually experiencing is from that external source, and the moment that someone quote unquote takes it away, we don't feel any of that. And
now that is a problem. That is a problem, and it's also in my opinion, if you're looking at this from a law of attraction standpoint, the more that we reside in this emptiness of love for ourselves and not being able to cultivate any of it and only ever getting it from our external resources, we are just going to attract more situations where that love comes and goes and disregulates us more. And it's not it's not a good state of being.
It's not a healthy state of being, it's not an enjoyable state of being. You know the feeling. You know what it feels like when you haven't even realized just how much you've been getting your source of love from somebody else until the moment that they walk away. You go through a breakup, of course, usually always that's really where we feel it the most. But I know, somebody ghosts you, somebody's not showing up, somebody disappointed you,
somebody acted a way that you didn't expect them to act. Whatever it is, you realize it's almost like your whole world is just completely in a new reality. And I honestly think that it hits so deep and it hurts so much sometimes because I think one of our human needs is to feel this deep level of connectedness and love and safety, and all we want is our nervous systems to be regulated, honestly, and so when we don't get that,
it does literally feel like death. Sometimes it feels like it's just like we would do anything to just have it back. But the problem with only ever getting your source of love and stability and really regulating your nervous system from everything external is that it's not as consistent as you needed to be. External love and external things that make you feel a certain way. It ebbs and flows. It ebbs and flows because it's external, so that driving force is
out of your control. The person that is giving you the feeling of love, they have their own things going on in their life, which is going to affect the way that they show up their capacity to give you love or not. And the only source of consistent, grounded, regulated type of love that you are really going to get is the source from within. And I want to make a little side note here because I used to always hear people say you need to love yourself. Love yourself first. The only thing that
matters is the love that you are creating internally for yourself. And on one hand, it is right. It is actually the most important thing that you could cultivate within yourself. But is not to look at relying on external love or validation or anything as something that you can't have or that you shouldn't rely on, or that you shouldn't want, because realistically, you did not come here on earth to just be born and cultivate love and just be on an
island by yourself, loving yourself and needing nobody ever we're human beings. We are literally wired for connection. So for you to tell yourself, okay, well, I'm just going to be in this fully full state of self love and I'm never going to need anyone, that's obviously it's very naive to think, because you even think about a child, like a child needs its mom and needs his dad and needs a community, it needs everything, all of
these moving parts. Okay. So it's not to demonize external love, validation, wanting things outside of yourself instead of looking at it like I need all of this external love and validation, even I want, I want, I want so bad. It's more so looking at it like it would be great, it would be in a great addition to my life. I would love to experience it, but I don't need it and I don't want it to the point where I can't be grounded and feel love within myself without it.
So if you're feeling a lack of love in your life right now, you're feeling alone, you're feeling heartbroken, you're just feeling like empty, empty, empty empty, it's a good indicator that it's time to start to cultivate some self love, some real love within you and realistically for again, I'm going to look at it from a law of attraction standpoint being the change will create more of that positive outcome that you want, which is love. So how
do we feel love again? How do we feel and cultivate this feeling of love withinside of us? Because that is something that I really had to cultivate a lot in the past week and kind of get myself back to where I
needed to be. And also something that I realized that I lost a little part of that my ability to consistently sustain this feeling of love within myself and happiness and safety, and I lost a little bit of that because naturally, when you start to get a lot of that from external resources, aka let's say you're in a relationship, naturally you kind of fall off of your natural ability to give that to yourself, which is totally fine, is normal,
especially when you have attachment issues, like it feels so nice to have somebody just give you that love, right when, especially when you've been doing that all of your life, or you've been single for a long time and you've been given you've been loving on yourself girl, and you're just trying to get that love on somebody else for once, like, totally fine, but it's just to realize, Okay, there's a lesson to be learned here. Maybe I lost myself a little bit, Maybe I fell off of my self love
routines a little bit too much. So how do I cultivate this back within myself? And also, again, if we're going to look at it from a law of attraction standpoint, once you start bringing your energy towards yourself, start cultivating that love within yourself, usually what happens is the people conform. So when I was younger, I thought what loving myself meant was accepting myself when I looked beautiful, when I had the body, when I had the
skin, when I had the money, the clothes, or whatever. Those are the only times that I really loved myself. When I looked my absolute best, when I showed up, when I finished a project, when I did the task, when I was a good girl, when I X, Y, and Z, I basically had conditional love for myself. I only
loved myself when I accomplished something, when I looked good. I never, never, never, never actually loved myself on the days that I didn't look good, that I slacked, when I was going through something when I was confused with life, when I was breaking down in my emotions because I didn't know how to handle them, and instead of accepting and loving on myself, I got really mad at myself. And I think sometimes we slip up.
I've even slipped up on this too, thinking that loving myself is doing these self care practices and spending time doing my hair and making sure that I looked great, and making sure that my life is romantic sized and all of these things, which are great things to do, amazing things to do. But there's a whole other side of loving yourself, which I think is so important, and I don't think a lot of us really actually ever learned to cultivate,
especially if you didn't have a parent who unconditionally loved you. So I'm going to read out a few things that I wrote down in my journal the other day when I asked myself the question what does it really mean to love yourself? And I do want to say one thing. I thankfully had a mother who showed me unconditional love. She loved me no matter what, she accepted me, no matter what she still to this day, no matter what I do, no matter what I say. She is a ride or die.
So I do think my ability to be able to tap into unconditionally loving myself or others is a little bit I don't even want to say easier because I'll tell you why it wasn't at the same time, but I do think that I'm able to recognize what unconditional love might feel like or look like. And again, these are just my definitions, like everyone has their own, but I have witnessed it. I have been unconditionally loved my mother, and
really only recently have I really learned how to unconditionally love myself. And that I am telling you changed my whole entire game. It changed the whole entire game when it came to my glow up and just so much. So we're
going to get into that. But one thing I want to say is I still struggled with loving myself for so many other reasons, Like naturally, when you are in high school and you're going through puberty and your body's changing and you're trying to be accepted in society, you naturally will start to not like yourself and put conditions on yourself and only like yourself when you fit in, or only like yourself when your hair looks like those girls, or when your
body looks like those girls, or ex y and Z. On top of that, I did have a father who was the complete opposite then my mom, so I picked up that very much so tyrant of a voice which was
very harsh and critical on myself. So it took me many, many, many many years to even be able to basically self accept myself, because honestly, loving yourself is accepting yourself for all of you, not accepting yourself for only the half side of when you do everything perfect and amazing, for the whole other side, the messy side, the unconventional side, the shadow side. Realistically, so let me read out a few things that I wrote that
I really do believe is the representation of actually loving yourself. Loving yourself is carrying yourself on the days that you don't actually love yourself, like you know, when you have those days where you know you're not loving yourself, you're looking in the mirror and you're eating every part of yourself and you're critical and you're sabotaged and you're falling off your routines and everything. If you can still love yourself and accept that state of being, that is a form of self
love. Another thing I wrote, loving yourself is creating a life for yourself to be able to hold you a little bit better on the days that you actually fall down. This is something that I've been thinking about every single time I move and up level my life and glow up and just continue to evolve. I continue to create a beautiful home environment, I create financial stability for myself, I create time freedom, all of these amazing, beautiful things I
keep creating for myself. And I think that all of these things that I'm creating for myself, the life that I'm creating for myself, is a form of loving myself, because realistically, I'm still going to have bad days. And you know what, I will tell you something. The bad days don't feel so bad when you are out of the trap house, when you have money to take off of work, when you can lay in your bed for
five days and not worry about a paycheck. And I experience that because I decide to take certain action steps so that I can create the life that I want, of course so that I can enjoy it and be amazing, but also so I can have this life to carry me through my bad days.
So just a little bit of inspiration for you if you're wondering sometimes when you're getting up and you're trying to go to the gym, you're working hard, or you're grinding and you're on your path, that there is a reason that you are doing this, even beyond you experiencing what it's going to feel like
to have all the money, the time, freedom, the everything. You're going to have those bad days still, but they're going to feel a lot better, a lot manageable, because you've decided to get up and work towards
your dream life. And every time that I'm sick, every time that I've been going through something, I always just sit in gratitude for the old version of me that decided to love herself enough to get up and create this life so that I could be carried in these moments where I needed to just relax and chill and not feel like the way of the world was on me. Another thing I wrote, loving yourself is knowing that you are okay, not that you will be okay. So let me expand on that a little bit.
There's a difference between you being in the state of I am okay as I am right now. Nothing needs to change. I don't need to go back, I don't need to go forward. I am okay in all of my glory, all my messiness, all my everything, versus trying to tell yourself, Okay, you're not okay right now, but you will be okay. Don't worry, You'll be okay eventually, eventually, eventually in the future when you get up tomorrow the next day. Right now is really bad,
but don't worry. In a few days, you'll be better. Now. Listen. Obviously, it's a great affirmation to tell yourself that sometimes, and we need to. Of course, there's duality and everything. We can accept that as truth. But sometimes what loving yourself really is is not saying that in a few days you'll be okay. It's fine. No, we can be okay right now. We can accept what is going on right now. We are safe with ourselves right now. That is a form of loving yourself.
Another thing that I wrote is that loving yourself is not running away from yourself anymore. Sometimes when we aren't feeling okay, we want to run away from that feeling of not feeling okay by doing self care routines or getting busy or being productive or doing X, Y and Z to get this feeling away. On one hand, yes, let's not demonize that. That's amazing, okay, but a lot of us don't ever do the opposite, which is not running away from that feeling of I'm alone right now. I feel empty
right now, I don't know how to be in this stillness. I feel abandoned. I don't want to be with myself right now. I don't like my life because of course it doesn't feel good. Of course it doesn't feel
good to be in any sort of negative emotion. But the truth is we have an inner child that is feeling that way, and sometimes what we do is we want to slap a self care routine on top of that inner child that is feeling abandoned or alone so that it can be quiet, so that I can stop feeling what it feels, which is realistically a feeling that I probably felt in childhood from maybe a parent or something in its environment. Now you might ask a question, Okay, so do I just not do self
love practices to make myself feel better? And you can totally do that, but this is what this is what I notice in myself when I am trying to do all of these self care practices and more routines and more to do lists and more goals and more, you know, like doing all of these random things or not random, just normal things to get my mind off of things. If I still feel alone, I still feel anxiety, I still feel like empty, then that's a good indicator that these are not the things
that I actually need that's going to make myself feel better. And realistically, I'm only looking at these I'm only doing these things in hopes that it will take away this feeling of abandonment and loneliness. And realistically, if I'm still feeling abandonment and loneliness and anxiousness as I'm doing these things, then listen, these things are not These are great things where they're not going to work. Right now, I am going to sit with myself and my inner child because
she needs me right now. She needs me to stop running away from her. She needs me to just sit in the corner with her where she's sitting right now and cry with her and say I see you, I feel you, I'm experiencing you. I'm validating that it does feel like crap right now to feel this alone, because sometimes what we actually really need is we need resonance, our inner child just needs you to be there and say, yes, it sucks right now, Oh my gosh, let's cry it out.
Let's get angry, let's get mad, let's get whatever it is, and just process the emotion, let it out. Sometimes you just need to let a baby cry. And I don't mean the type of crying where the parent just leaves it and hopes that it will just stop crying on its own. No, I mean like, go with it and cry with it. You know. I don't actually mean that, because that's not what you do when
you're a parent. But you know, sometimes you just got to be there with yourself and you need to feel the feeling and feel it all the way through. Something that I talked about in my mental health reset day, which again is on my main channel, is before I was even able or not even able, because I've done this so many times, but before I decided to do any self care self love practices, you know, getting back into routines and doing things that make me feel good, listening to music and doing
all that kind of stuff, right, all the great things. The first thing I actually did was sit down in journal and literally were dumb and put all my feelings out on the table, the feeling of disappointment, the sadness, the anger, that all the emotions that I really was trying to suppress by Okay, I'm going to have a self care day and do my nails and do my hair and like hang out with my friends and look hot and like remind myself that I'm so amazing. Like those are not the things that
are going to help me right now. Honestly, I allowed myself to experience all of the ranges of emotions that were deep down within me anyways, and I knew that if I didn't do that, it was just going to suppress and they were just going to come out eventually, and I'd rather not. I'd rather not let them come out when the time is not right. Instead be there with myself, take a night, journal things out, let myself cry. Girl. I cried, girl. I'd had a whole death inner
rebirth. I cried a multiple times, honey. And every single time I do that, it feels so good, and I listen. I know it's easier said than done, because I'm somebody who has done that so many times, and I've seen so much benefit out of releasing and releasing again and releasing again and purging and just letting it all out. But I know it can
be scary. It can be scary for people. There's people who are literally like sixty seventy years old and never have actually let themselves feel emotions like that, and it's so scary. It takes people years of therapy sometimes to even get to that point. So I understand that it's harder said than done. You might want to even try and do that with a therapist instead of doing
it on your own. Like there's a lot of because really what you're doing is you're like sometimes you're processing, you're processing trauma really, so obviously, if you can let yourself do that, then that's amazing. But nine times out of ten, you're gonna feel so much better, so much better, so much better. Okay, another thing that I wrote, loving Yourself is allowing yourself to do messy things that you know that you'll need to pick the
pieces up from and still doing it. Anyways, Now I'll give you a quick example, because obviously we don't want to make these irrational decisions in our lives to the point where we have to pick up a pieces like we ruined our entire lives. Like obviously not, but this is how I would think
about it. Let's say you have a baby, a little toddler, let's say, and you have baby powder in your hand, and it's grabbing it and it wants to play with the bottle, and you're like, okay, here, you can have a play with it whatever, But you know, you got to kind of be careful because if the baby gets too crazy with it, like the baby powder is going everywhere, and you start to see the baby get a little bit too chaotic with the bot and it's trying to
turn it around and dump it and whatever. You could take it out of its hands and be like, hey, no, we're not gonna go there, because it's going to create a huge mess. Or you know, you start to see that the baby's kind of like tipping over the baby powder a little bit and it's kind of getting everywhere, and like it's already kind of creating a mess, and you can tell that the baby is having so much fun with it, and you're like, you know what, just have fun
with it, and you let the baby just dump it everywhere. Baby power is going everywhere, but the baby's laughing, You're laughing. It's a great time and you're just saying, you know, what effort it is, what it is, I can clean this up. It's gonna be fine. That's
the energy sometimes that we need to allow ourselves to be in. Again, of course we've got to be careful with is it baby powder or is it like our whole life savings that we're trying to invest something, And no, we don't want to do that, but sometimes we just need to let our hair down. We just need to allow ourselves to get messy, to make a mistake, to have fun, to not be so picture perfect, pretty proper in this box and just let ourselves have our way and enjoy it and
love ourselves through that, through that mess. Instead of getting mad at the baby for making a mess and oh my gosh, now I'm gonna have to clean up everything, you're just looking at the baby like I love you anyways. I literally love you. I couldn't not love you. And that's bringing it back to how I always experience my mom looking at me. It's like, no matter how big of a mess, she's like, I love you
anyways, Like you're just I can't not love you, you know. And I think that we really need to start having that same energy towards ourselves, especially when we make mistakes. Okay, I'm not saying to make a bunch of mistakes in your life, but just can you just allow yourself to make a mistake for once, Like, is it really that big of a deal. It's probably not. It's probably not. And you need to have more love and more race and more childlike energy towards yourself when it comes to mistakes
and just being messy and doing things and experiencing life. Another thing I wrote loving yourself is taking off the timeline of when you need to get back to being more yourself again. It's this energy of really not fully accepting who we are in this moment when we're not feeling our best or our lives are feeling a little bit chaotic or unknown, or we don't know the answer, we don't know the path. We live in a society that's just like go,
go go. We need the answer now, and we need to continue to go and we need to be perfect and if not, it's unsafe, and it's really not unsafe, we just perceive it to be unsafe. And so when you're feeling like you're a little bit lost, allow yourself to be lost. Allow yourself to not have a timeline on when you need to get back to it. And I get it. We have work, we have responsibilities, we have X, Y and Z, But even when we have those
things, we don't need to be one hundred percent. I've told myself, even even like this past week when I've been sick again, I'm very good at doing this with myself now too. It's like, of course, eventually I need to get back to podcasting, making YouTube videos, doing my work, but I also don't need to be one hundred percent. I don't need to like feel one hundred percent, or make the most viral video or look the absolute best whatever. Just show up how you are in this moment,
and that is good enough. Another thing I wrote loving yourself is to listen to when your gut says time is up. This is something that I do
think is a big issue with us females. We have this beautiful intuition, We have this beautiful gut instinct that we ignore time and time again, and I think one of the most self loving acts that we can do for ourselves is to honor that feeling and let our intuition tell us when the time is up, and to listen to that, because realistically, when we have this gut instinct that this is not it, this is not the one, this is not the time, you're going through the same thing over and over again.
This is your intuition trying to kick in it to be like, Hi, I need you to start loving on me. You are not loving on me, you are not listening to me. So really, when you feel this gut instinct with anything in your life, remind yourself it's an act of self love and kindness to yourself to listen to your intuition, because you know
the answer that is something that is It's a journey. And it's kind of sad that we look outside of ourselves for so many answers, so much guidance, so much inspiration, so much motivation, so much to tell us what to do, to tell us the right answer what we should do now. Obviously, it's great to have people to guide you and to influence you, and we need that because we are human beings and we are connected, and
we need community and we need support. But realistically, we do and we can source at answer within ourselves and the way that we're going to strengthen that relationship and that trust muscle is by not ignoring when our intuition tells us time is up, this is not right, something is off. So please start to listen to yourself, to your inner knowing, even if you cannot act
on it in that moment, start getting better at listening to it. A practice that is really good that I'm actually going to be restarting now that the summer months are here is having a very deep spiritual morning practice. And if you guys want me to do maybe a video, a YouTube video on that
I could. I used to do it. I was just looking at my archives on my Instagram and I was just like, so, I was in such a good vibe last summer of doing this, but just waking up, lighting some incense, pulling a Goddess card and writing out what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what my higher self wants me to really channel today. And that is such a good practice for you to have, is to really
just connect with yourself before anything else in the morning. And I think that it's even nicer when the sun is out and you can go outside or even just opening up a window and just having that peace and stillness and for you again to connect to that inner knowing that you actually do have within you, and you will find some profound answers. It's not even actually about finding answers, but they will come to you. You will have them, you will
have insights, you will have something the more times you do it. And in the past week, I have been doing this and I have gotten profound answers, so much guidance, so much wisdom, so many ideas, so many places that I'm going to take myself this summer from simply reconnecting to myself in the mornings and for me personally, kind of stepping into my higher self and asking my higher self like what does my higher self want me to know
today? And also just writing out anything that I'm currently feeling. And the more times that I do that, it just leads me to profound realizations, answers, wisdom, whatever. Okay, the last thing that I wrote, loving yourself is an act of allowing allowing yourself to be exactly who you are in this moment when you haven't before. And I had a little dialogue here, so I wrote a little rebuttal and I feel like maybe some of you might have thought about this before, but won't I lose myself if I just
allow myself to be. If you think about it, right, if I accept my body for what it is, or my looks, or my financial status or my current life, won't I just stay the same. I'm scared of that. There's a lot of women who are very high achieving who struggle with self love and accepting themselves because they're like, well, if I do that, then I'm I don't trust that. I'm not going to continue to create more success and be more financially free or have this accolade or that accolade.
And what I wrote here was no, you won't lose yourself because there is duality in everything, which means loving yourself means doing what is best for you in that moment, and what is best for you and every single moment is not always staying the same, is not always not having any discipline, is not always accepting everything all the time and just relaxing and chilling. There's
the opposite of that. So let's talk about that, because I think a lot of people struggle with self acceptance and loving themselves because they're like, Okay, well let me try to not judge myself and accept myself and whatever. But then they still have this desire, and of course you live in reality. You still have things you need to work towards. You need to get up and you need to go, and you need to do the self care routines and the practices, and you need to be a part of society.
So how do I balance? How do I balance letting myself rest, the feminine, the receiving, the relaxing, the soft life, but also the masculine, the getting things done, the making sure that you know, we have some structures, we have some walls, we have some goals, we have some direction, And I think the first thing that you need to do is to actually listen to what you need in this moment. You need to
tune in to what your needs and wants are in this moment. And this brings me to that question that you're going to be asking yourself a lot this summer. What would somebody who loves themselves do? Now? This is going to be absolutely so unique to yourself because it is based off of what you are currently going through and what you need. So maybe what the most loving thing for you to do for yourself right now is to put your phone down
and stop waiting for a text. Maybe the most loving thing for you to do right now is to take another sick day because you are actually sick, instead of you trying to continue to push yourself and work through it. Maybe the most loving thing for you to do for yourself is to stop forcing yourself to try to come up with an answer, the answer that you've told yourself that you need to come to, the decision that you told yourself you need
to make right now in this moment. Maybe the most self loving thing for you to do is to finally go and ask somebody for help so you stop feeling like the weight of the world is on you. Or maybe the most self loving thing for you to do right now is to allow yourself to miss somebody who didn't treat you right. The thing is only you are going to know what you need, which is also so empowering, right because I could tell you that you should take another sick day, or maybe you should get
up and just go to work. But the thing is only you know. Only you know how not accepting you have been of yourself, or how much you've probably been slacking on the goals in which the most self loving thing for
you to do is for you to add more discipline into your life. It's going to take a big level of self awareness, and it's going to take a lot of learning curves because sometimes we have a skewed perception of what we think that we need for ourselves, which is good to always get guidance, good to listen to podcasts of core, etc. So you can kind of recalibrate yourself right because you might truly believe that you need another workout even though
you've been working out literally for the past twenty days straight. Or you actually are convinced that you need to eat thirteen hundred calories because you have the skewed perception of how you should look, or you should feel, or you should be eating in life, and then sometimes it's actually not really that helpful. So you need to see all the decisions that you currently have been making for yourself and see are they really getting you to where you want to go?
Is the thirteen hundred calories that you've been eating forever is it really getting you anywhere? If it's not, then maybe you need to reevaluate is this really a self loving thing for me? Or let's say you're never letting yourself have any time off and you're working through every day that you're sick or you're just you're working all the time. Well, is that actually helping you or is
it hurting you? Are you burnt out? Okay? So if you're burnt out, then maybe the decisions that you are making for yourself might be a little bit skewed. Maybe what you actually need is to take a day off, or you need to pull back on something, or you need to recalibrate your mindset, you need to reset your mental health and listen. This is a journey, a process, but this is something that you can take with you in any moment that when you're about to make a decision, what would
somebody who loves themselves do? What is the highest, most good decision for myself? Is it really to keep scrolling on TikTok past my bedtime when I've told myself that I needed to go to sleep. Is it really waiting up for somebody who hasn't been waiting up for me? Is it really putting off all am I to do lists to another day just to streuss myself out more. These are things that only you are going to know the answer to.
But I want you to start trusting yourself. I want you to start trusting the answer that comes to you and bringing this whole thing back to the beginning of this episode of cultivating this feeling of love within ourselves. The more times that you make these little micro decisions to do things that somebody who loves themselves would do, you will start to feel love for yourself. You will start to feel confident, like you trust yourself, like you back yourself, like
you show up for yourself doing these small things for yourself. I promise you, not only will you feel that internal change within you, you will see people conform. You will start to see people show up in your life with that same level of love that you have for yourself. When you have boundaries, when you're saying no, when you're prioritizing yourself more, those people have no option but to fall off or to stand up exactly where you are.
Another thing that you can journal on if you want to to get yourself like really going. If you're just realizing, like I am not loving on myself girl, like I've been slacking on this, that and the third dad, and you're really hyper focused on somebody else that's not giving you love or everything external, then here's a journal pomp for you. What are all the ways that I've been putting myself last in everyone first and putting yourself last. Sometimes
we don't even see just how much we are putting ourselves last. Like you sitting in your bed scrolling on TikTok past the time that you told yourself is putting yourself last, because now you're going past your bedtime, which means you're going to mess up your sleep, which means in the morning you're gonna be
more tired, more angry maybe or grumpy whatever. You might not have enough energy to do your workout xyz like those little micro things, or staying up and waiting around and checking messages to see if somebody would ever again, you're
leaving yourself and you are your focused on on everyone else but yourself. Or when you're saying yes the plans when you know your body can't handle it right now, you're tired, you're depleted, you don't have the money, you don't have the resources, whatever it is, but you're saying yes, you're putting yourself last again. Or let's say, when you're hyper fixating on a situation or you're thinking about, well, what should I say to this person
and should I say it? Like this, or you're talking to a million friends about how you should act or how you should look or whatever. Again, you're putting yourself last. And a follow up journal prompt that you can write out as well is what do I need to do to start showing up for myself more? And I can guarantee you there's five to ten things that you can list out that you haven't been doing that you need to be doing for yourself. So do those things. This is the time, guys.
If not now, then when I'm waiting. Yeah, there's no answer. It's now or never. And again, if this is this, you loving on yourself should not be why you are trying to get love from someone else realistically, but realistically as well, you will start to get more of that love and that consistency in that juiciness of life that you're really wanting to experience when you start to be the change and you know what, it's okay that you want that, it's okay that you want to love from someone else.
You want consistency, you want people showing up a certain way, whatever, But it starts with you, and the universe is talking through me to you and telling you it's time for you to choose yourself. It is time for you to stop waiting for somebody to make you feel what you can feel within yourself. I know it's hard. I know it's hard. It is something that I have tried to fight so long in my life because it is hard. It is messy, it is boring, It is like not the work
that we want to do. We just want somebody else to do it for us. But I promise you, when you can have fun with it and you can start really enjoying this process, it's gonna be great. And you are going to be a magnet for more love and more abundance and more everything.
And I think we're going to talk about that. I think next week's episode, I want to talk about why you need to romanticize your life because I think that romanticizing your life and your routines and really enjoying your life and the process it's going to help you with this relationship with loving yourself, because you know it's hard work. And we don't want to look at everything as
like boring and hard because in what happens we don't do it. It's so much easier to go back to the X and wait for the text and wait for them to make us feel good. But we can't do that because we know where that leads us. When they don't, when they don't show up, when they don't text, when they don't X Y and Z, because people are not consistent. Because that is life. So let me know if you guys want me to talk about that, romanticizing your life, things of
that. I'm in the era of romanticizing my life, being obsessed with myself. I don't love saying I'm gonna be obsessed to myself and I'm obsessed to myself because I know how that comes across. But listen, it is the time to become obsessed with yourself this summer, and we're gonna do that. I'm gonna show you how to do that, and we're gonna talk about how to do that on the podcast and my channel. Okay, all right, that's it for this episode. I love you guys so much. Rebrand coming
soon for the podcast. Cannot wait, cool things coming for the podcast, and yeah, I love you guys so much, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.