¶ attracting your dream relationship
Hi, every want, and welcome back to the podcast episode. My name is Lisha Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast. Well, I help you expand your mind and become more self awares so that you can glow up into the best version of yourself. Hello and happy Sunday. And if you're watching on YouTube, we got baby Theo here right now. Hopefully you will take a nap very soon. So I did a Q and A, a more personal Q and A where you guys could ask me questions
about myself. I really don't do it very often on Instagram. I'm somebody who kind of is just like, I just want to help you guys, but I know sometimes you guys are interested in my life and you want my opinion on things and YadA YadA. So I did that and I got a lot of questions answered them all, and I got a lot of questions about my relationship.
And I feel like I probably talk about the.
Fact that I'm in a relationship the most on the podcast, even though I don't talk about too much of it, mainly just because it's the context in which I'm talking about things, Like I haven't been talking about relationships that much, but We will be talking about relationships in this episode, and one of the main questions that I received was where did you meet your boyfriend? How can I find a good man? Where are all the good men? And I hear you guys, and I know because I used
to ask that question a lot. Okay, and I have a lot of one on one clients as well, who if we're speaking on relationships, they'll ask the same thing, like where do I find a like minded guy? Like where do I find that guy that's just like me? Where do I find a good man? And I want to talk about that in today's episode. But if you're also a man and you date women or you date men, whatever the case is, this episode will still be helpful for you because it's really just about how to attract
the relationship that you've been searching for. Essentially, So every
¶ where do I find my person ?
time I think about this question, where do I find my dream relationship? Where do I find that person? I have a few may core points that I've broughten myself through, and I'm gonna really speak on experience. I'm always going to do that, especially when it comes to relationships, because
like that's all I've obviously experienced. But there's been a few key things that I've had to focus on every single time that I went through a dating phase, and I got better over time, which eventually led me to a relationship that is just so great. I was gonna say perfect, like no relationship is perfect, but genuinely like, do I think this guy will be my husband?
Yes? I do?
Can I say one hundred percent? No?
Who knows? You know? At the end of the day, who knows?
But I mean, I am also turning thirty and I have dated a lot. I've been in relationships, I've lived out unhealthy patterns, healthy ish patterns. I've learned what I've liked, what I don't like. I've gone through it all. So I'm pretty much at a point now in my life where it's pretty easy for me to see will I be with this person.
For a long time or not? And the answer, in my personal opinion is yes.
But before we even get into some of those main things that I want you guys to focus on, if you are somebody who is looking and dating and feeling kind of jaded even is to stop putting so much focus on where specifically you're going to find this person, as if this person is only in this area of the world, or they only move around these set of
people or in this community. It's not to say that your dream person wouldn't be in certain environments, around certain people, places and things things like that versus others.
But I think we.
Focus way too much on the specific place or the timeline so much that we forget about all the other things that are so important. Because at the end of the day, and this is what I said on my Q and A, you can find a good man anywhere.
You can find a good person anywhere, genuinely, So let's stop stressing about if you're on dating apps, where is Yeah, I can't find him, or I need to find him out In real life it needs to be through friends, or you're in college right now, or you're in university, where can I find or your work like, why can't I find the work bay? Like, whatever the case is,
don't worry about that. Let's focus on other things that will allow you to be able to suss out essentially and find that person that is more aligned to you.
¶ clarity
And that is first getting very clear about what you need and want in a relationship. And when you hear that, it's almost like, yeah, like I know what I want, but I feel like, especially for me, I think about my twenties, I thought I knew what I wanted, but I really just knew I wanted to be in a relationship.
That's basically all I knew that I wanted. And there's so many other things that you need to really get more clear on and define when it comes to non negotiables, because it's going to allow you to say yes to more people that are in alignment with what you believe and what you value and what you're looking for, and to say no to the people, places, and things that do not serve you in this case dating. I've seen this in a lot of clients that I do one
on one sessions with. If we are speaking in the context of relationships, I've also seen it within myself and friends really everywhere where we really entertain people who genuinely are not meeting our needs and it's not really aligned with what we truly deeply want. But we are not being clear, we're not being truthful to ourselves, and we're not having that at the forefront of our mind when
we are going out in the dating world. And I think that that saves you so much time and so much energy, and when I quote unquote got back into the dating field, which was like really nothing.
I actually met my boyfriend on a dating.
App, for one, And I've also had really good experiences always really off of dating apps, Like even when I was going on them, I was so clear with what I was looking for and the type of man that I wanted to date that it was really easy to say no to a lot of people. And because I was able to say no to a lot of people, I didn't feel jaded. I didn't feel like, oh my god, where is he? It was just more so I haven't found that person yet that meets all of my needs.
And if you really want to know what you need and even want in a relationship is to first look at what you did not get in your past relationships and even in your childhood. Okay, this is such good information for you when it comes to getting into relationships, because I can get that question a lot too, and I've definitely been through this phase of like what do I actually need in a relationship?
Like what should I be looking for?
And We're gonna definitely dive way more deeper into relationships, so many episodes to come, but to really see what you should be looking more for in a relationship is to see what you didn't get in childhood and even your previous relationships. So for me, I really needed a lot more consistency in stability than I ever did from my parents. And this is not to look at your partner like this need to reparent you, but there's going
to be similarity. Your first real experiences with relationships and relying on people in connection is usually from your caregivers, parents, grandparents, even like sisters and brothers and all that kind of stuff, and you're gonna have similar needs in your romantic relationships. And typically the things that you didn't get in childhood you either over compensate for or you stress about. Like, for instance, the inconsistency and the instability from my home
life made me very anxious as a person. And so there's gonna be people who are better suited for me in a relationship than others. The guy who is avoidant, the guy who wants a lot of distance, that's not gonna be the guy for me, because I need somebody to show up consistently, communicate properly with me, because if not, then I am going to feel a little anxiety ridden. Now of course, it's not always putting it on someone else.
I always say when we're speaking about anxious attachment styles, but any attachment style, really you have to also be the one to look inwards and to fill up your own cup to work on that anxious attachment, Like somebody can't just constantly be like feeding you all this attention and love and this that every second of the day, Like you need to learn how to be more secure
in a relationship. But at the end of the day, even if you move more into a secure attachment style, which is me now, I still have different needs that I need in relationship that maybe somebody else wouldn't. But also taking a look at your past relationships, if you've ever had any or even like dating phases, like there
was definitely personalities. There's definitely behaviors in men that I dated in the past where I'm like, I don't want that to be my future husband, Like I don't want like I remember I dated a guy.
Who he was a great guy, but he stressed a lot.
He stressed a lot about finances and other things, which is so understandable, and like we were a little bit younger, I mean, he was in his like more later twenties, but I was in my mid twenties. I guess whatever in our twenties is still kind of young. Honestly, the older you get, you realize, like, wow, that still was really young. But he was stressed a lot, And now
looking back, I'm like, I don't want that. I need to be with the guy who's very stable, especially through hard times, and mainly because I've learned how to do that, but also it really helps me feel calm when I am around somebody who's also stable or even more level headed during stressful times, because for me it has been a struggle because I am somebody who can get stressed very easily. Again, I'm not saying my partner needs to be the one that makes it so I feel safe all the time.
I have to do that work on myself.
But at the end of the day, I'm gonna look for somebody who's probably not as stressed as that person. There's another guy that I dated in my earlier twenties, great guy again, but he was very quiet. He honestly, like I know, a lot of people don't like to hear the masculine and feminine energy. We have masculine feminine energy in all of us, but I do like to speak on that. Sometimes he didn't have a lot of and energy. He just didn't like move things forward. He
wasn't much of a leader. I didn't feel like that's safe with him. And again, I have to learn how to feel safe within my own self. I need to do that work on myself, which I have, and at the end of the day, I still come out wanting a man who makes me feel like he is a leader and he's getting things done. He's very clear, and he's forward moving, which is who my boyfriend is now.
So it really is just taking a look at your needs and your wants and being very clear with that so that when somebody comes in and I say this all the time, especially for women, okay, there will be a lot of men who come knocking at your door all the time and they will have their handout and they'll be like, hey, this is what I can give you. And what they have in their hand might be a full blown relationship, or maybe it's a situationship. Maybe it's a stage of life that they're in, maybe it's a
personality trait, maybe it's the way they deal with stress. Whatever, right have the package and they say here, you need to be so clear with what you're looking for so that you have more strength to say no to the bullshit that is presented to you. And I'm sorry to be harsh about that, because I'm really like when it comes to men, like, I'm actually like, I'm not a man hater. I think a lot of men are doing
really good things and are really good men. I think a lot of women don't even see how good some men are because of social media and how everything is. But there are definitely going to be people who just if there's not your cup of tea, okay, they're not going to meet your needs. But we are so like, oh okay, yeah, let me entertain it. And there's many reasons for that, but one of them can absolutely be because you're not being clear, Okay, you don't have those
non negotiables and you need to have them. And for instance, some of the other things that I made sure that was in the forefront of my mind and basically said absolutely no, I'm not even gonna entertain this guy. If I didn't see it would be valuing family, talking about the future. What is he doing for his career, Does he have a career, is he happy with his job. Does he take care of himself health and wellness?
Does he party? I don't want that.
I don't want to be dating a guy who's out in the scene. What's his communication style like? And not just like the fact that he is emotionally mature, which is also very important for me, but genuinely like, men have different ways of wanting to communicate. Like some guys suck at fucking texting. Sorry for swearing, but not really. Sometimes I swear and it is what it is. Sometimes they're not good at texting, or they like to call, or they call like once a day or twice a day,
Like does that work for you? Some of that doesn't work for me, And I am a very independent person. I don't need to be up my boyfriend's ass. I don't want him up my ass, Like I don't need all of that. But I really do love that connection and that communication. So if a guy I start talking to a guy and he's not really giving that and it doesn't really feel good, then I'm not interested and you keep it pushing or I think this is a
big one, especially if you're on dating apps. I like that dating apps now have that future where you can select what you're looking for, because I feel like that saves so much time and effort for anyone, at least for me, whether a guy is saying like, oh, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for right now, or I'm looking for a long term relationship or short term, but regardless, you can just like ask these things, right and if somebody is like, well, I don't really know,
I'm just kind of nope, sorry, I'm not doing it. Trust me, I've done that before and I've entertained guys who would say like I don't know really and that no, and that's fine. So anyways, I say all that to say, the first thing really to do is to be more clear, like what are you actually looking for, and have.
Some of those non negotiables.
You don't need to be super strict about it, but I just think, like, simply, sometimes we are entertaining and now we're in a situationship when genuinely you want a relationship, like why are you doing that? You need to be more clear and direct, and I promise you it will take you a very far away. The next thing is
¶ saying no early
having boundaries and discernment, which is a playoff of what I just said about you know, being very clear about what you're looking for. But the truth is, relationships are not black and white.
It's very gray.
You know, you're not going to just like start talking to somebody and instantly in three seconds. I mean, maybe you will know, like I got really good at knowing whether a guy was gonna be serious or not, but you never know, like you might have to go through like the dating phases a little bit. You're seeing somebody and you know, maybe you feel good about it and everything's good, but you still need to kind of see like where are we going? Is this guy leading me
in the right direction? If this is what I want? And I'm saying men because I date men, But during your dating phases and things like that, you still want to be aware and listen to your intuition and coming back to what you're looking for and say no early, which I guys, you know what, I don't regret anything because all of the relationships that I went through led
me to where I'm at now in my relationship. But I would never say know early, like if there was a little bit of a red flag, whether a guy was being a little bit inconsistent or he was kind of beating around the bush, whether he was looking for a relationship or not, or maybe he wasn't really leading us forward, and you know, the dates and all of these things that would make me feel like, Okay, he's being more serious whatever it is, or even if it's
not about him taking me serious about his own life, and maybe he's not taking care of himself that well, or maybe he's overworking, or does he really have that much time for me, whatever it is, I would ignore those things. But then I got so good and more so my late twenties of just being like, you know what, I need to start saying no early.
I need to catch these things.
I've gone through enough cycles, dated enough people to know that there are gonna be flags that you will see, and like, for instance, the person that.
I dated before.
My boyfriend, Actually everything was really good, but I started noticing that he was busy a lot of the times, even though he was trying to do his best to make time for me. And I enjoyed that, and it was almost hard to say no early.
Because things were great.
He treated me well on paper, he was doing all the right things, he checked a lot of boxes, but I just felt like also like his age was a thing that I started seeing that I could tell and we even have a conversation, so it wasn't like me just like assuming he was kind of one foot in, one foot out about like do I really want to commit to a relationship, because in order to commit to a relationship, it's going to require me to be a different man than I am right now, and do I
want to give that up? And all these things, like we actually had pretty constructive conversations about those things, and I basically said, I'm like, I just I think that I'm looking for something a little bit more serious than you and maybe you're not.
And he kind of pushed back on that and he was kind of like, well, no, like I like, I like where we're going.
In this that, but I'm like, I have seen this movie before. I've seen this movie before, and I'm not doing this movie. So I'm going to have to respectfully exit the theater. And I look back at that guy.
He was such a.
Pivotal moment in my dating life because he set a higher standard for what I needed to look for based off of a previous dynamic that I really had to break and that was more of the attachment style wounds from parents that I was playing out, which I'm sure we'll talk about eventually, but.
That was very pivotal and very important.
But I knew, like when I was seeing it reflected, I was like, no, this is a lesson. He's a stepping stone in the nicest way possible. It wasn't like I was like using him or he was even using me. Like, it's just you know, sometimes you meet people and they're not there for a long time, just like a short amount of time, and they teach you a lesson if you're willing to look. And I was like, nope, I know what this is. I've seeing this movie.
And I ended things.
I had a really long time of like being single again, and I was going through a lot of other things in my life, and you guys know the year that I had in the wintertime, and it really allowed me to have even more clarity for when my boyfriend came into my life, because I was already in this energy of like very much so willing to say no, very much so, willing to walk away from things that didn't
feel good to me anymore. I was very clear with what I wanted because I used my voice in that last dating situation and I truly believe our intuition speaks to us very early on, but we don't have practices and we're too scared to listen. And I actually found a Pinterest quote and it says, your intuition is an ancient voice.
Trust her.
She's seen this before, and I feel like with that dating situation, that's exactly what I felt. I'm like, nah, she's seen this before, Like we're not doing this again. And I think you just need to also remind yourself that, you know, are you really here to like live a lackluster life and have a lackluster relationship and a shitty one or a one that's not fully fulfilling, like really? I saw TikTok Oh my gosh the other day and I can't exactly remember what she was saying, but she's like,
you can't choose your parents. You can't choose your siblings, you can't choose your uncles, your aunts, your grandparents, you can't choose any of those things, like really not anything, but you can choose your husband. And you're telling me that you're gonna date a loser. It was so funny, like it went viral and she was like, you're gonna tell me like the only person that you could actually choose when it comes to being with for the rest
¶ become the main objective
of your life, and you're going to choose a loser. You're gonna choose a person who doesn't know how to communicate, doesn't know if they want a relationship, doesn't know how to plan a date, isn't mature enough yet stresses over every single thing, Like that's what you're gonna choose.
You gotta choose wisely. Now.
The next thing that has helped me tremendously with getting into my current relationship but a lot of my other relationships as well, and honestly saving me a lot of sanity and peace is really focusing on detachment and becoming the main objective. And I think this is where people get really stuck. And then you can go into this
loop and it kind of just over consumes you. Let's say you are on dating apps and you're looking for that person or you're trying to get out there, like you're in your phase where it's like I want to meet someone in this that it's totally fine to want that, like you don't need to get rid of the part
of you that wants a relationship ever. But I think sometimes that part plays like too much of a role and it stresses you out too much and you put a lot of pressure on like I need to find the man of my dreams on this dating app or I need to find the man of my dreams this summer, I need to go out Like it just becomes like too much and your energy I swear, like, it's just I don't know what it is about that, but like you typically just don't attract from that state, and you
typically start to act out of a place of desperation. So you're now entertaining people who aren't really the full package, but you're doing it anyways because you're really really trying and you're wanting in this that which again, that's a fine if you do, like we all need to learn a lesson, or you're putting a lot of pressure on a new relationship. You know, when are you gonna make me your girlfriend? Or when a you're gonna da da da, Like I just don't think that that's the place that
we should be, especially for women. I think that again coming back to this question of where do I find them?
Where do I find them? Where do I find them?
It's fine you asked that question, but I think that you need to see when you're kind of more in that masculine energy of like thinking that you need to go out and search and find. Okay, I genuinely believe that like your future husband will come, he will come to you, he will find you. It doesn't mean you don't put yourself in places and open your channels up. Like for me, I was on a dating app, but I was so detached from it, like I went on it here and there, I talked to only a few people.
I was very like, this.
Doesn't need to be where I find my guy, but you know, just the place that I was in in my life, I was very busy. I work for myself. I don't go out a lot. There was so much going on in my life as well, so I was like, let me just like use this as a way to maybe like open up the channels a little bit. It doesn't need to be anything like crazy. And there was just like a lack of pressure that was on all of that. And I met my boyfriend so quickly and
everything just was so seamless. And even when we were first talking, we talked for maybe like two weeks before we even went on our first date because I wasn't putting pressure on it.
Neither was he. We talked on the phone, we were texting, we were just getting to know each other.
And also, if you're watching on YouTube, theos decided to put his leg on my chest.
So sorry about that.
We're just gonna leave it. But coming back to also like kind of dating in your feminine energy, for me, I think about how I want to also allow a man to lead and to take more control over certain things and you know, make those plans and make those decisions. I'm not somebody who's like, oh, I need to be submissive and he needs to do everything.
Now, I'm not like that.
But I just think like there's certain things that I personally would like a man to kind of like lead and do, and I'm just gonna let it be and I'm not gonna put pressure on it. It doesn't mean that I'm not clear, it doesn't mean that I'm not communicating or you know, standing in my worth, because there's a difference between just passively sitting around and waiting for a guy who literally is not gonna take you serious and you're just like waiting, waiting, waiting. No, like we
were still having good conversations. There's many signs that we were he was moving it forward even before we actually like went on our date, like it was planned. It was happening in a timely matter. Everything was great, But at the end of the day, I was still kind of like, you know what, I'm not going to rush this because why would I. But also I don't need to worry about this because I know my worth. I am my own main objective. I'm focusing on myself, so
I don't need to be like worrying and waiting. I'm not waiting like you shouldn't be waiting for someone to choose you, like genuinely, and I think that that's sometimes what happens when you get in this energy of like where and when is it going to happen? And so when it comes to also being the main objective, what that really means is pour back into yourself. We shouldn't be sitting here all day anyway stressing about when we're going to find that person. That person is.
Going to come. Do your inner work.
That probably needs to happen, which is looking at your past, looking at your attachment styles, what have you played out, what are the things that keep happening what are the cycles you keep getting in? How do you take yourself out of those things? By saying, Okay, I need to have more boundaries, I clearly need to be more clear. I can't just keep accepting the bare minimum. Why am I accepting the bare minimum? Why am I rushing things? Why am I putting pressure on things? Why do I
need somebody to want me so much right now? Again, doesn't mean that we don't want love. We want love, and that's totally fine. I'm all here for like just wanting that. I think that that's a great thing to want, But it's really just doing that inner work. And I think when you're bringing your energy back towards yourself, it's very attractive.
It's attractive to the person that might be interested in you.
But I just think in general, you don't have that desperate energy going outward. You're not talking to people who don't serve you, and you're really conserving your energy for the person that it's going to be very aligned with you.
And you know, like when you.
Are entertaining people who are playing out patterns with you, like your like trauma patterns, and you know, giving the bare minimum and things like that, you are now occupied doing those things and putting your time and your attention into that and stressing and being anxious. You aren't in places around people where you could be attracting that right person for you. So you really have to take a look and be like, am I holding onto patterns? Am
I playing out patterns? Am I staying in situationships? Am I letting people in my life that do not serve me? Because that will take you away from the person that is meant for you. Trust me, Trust me the moment I energetically, not only physically, but energetically let go of the men who did not serve me and were only there for a lesson. Only then did the right people come into my life. Maybe they were teaching me a lesson. But even when it comes to my boyfriend, like when
he came into my life, there was no ties. I wasn't holding onto anyone. I wasn't, you know, thinking about I want to go back to this person or that.
I even asked God.
I was like, honestly, God, I don't want any energetic ties. I don't want to I don't want the half assed love. I don't want to be stuck in these patterns. I want to learn that I am worthy of healthy love. I want to know that the things that I went through in my childhood and the relationship dynamics and you know, the things that played out that taught me about relationships, they don't need to continue to be my reality moving forward. I can let that go. I can put that to rest.
I can see that I never deserved that in the first place, and once you do that, you can really start to say yes to what you've always deserved, which is healthy love. Now, the last thing I want to talk about is more of a spiritual thing realistically, and
¶ there are no coincidences
I think that spirituality or God religion, for the most part, I think plays a role in every single thing. I think there's a lot of things that you can do. You know, you're being clear, and you're opening up the channels for people to come in. You're not worrying so much, you're doing the work on yourself. But I think that there's just this divine timing that sometimes can happen as well.
I've always seen it.
Like as much as I think that I've done a lot of work to bring in the people in my life that have been very impactful, even my boyfriend, I think that there's always that little piece of like I just gotta let go and let God in a way, you know, I gotta let the universe bring me the people, the places, the situations at a time where it makes the most sense. And maybe sometimes I don't know that.
And for instance, I genuinely believe that my mom and her passing and everything that happened had a huge role in the timing of when my boyfriend came into my life. On one hand, I think that I had done so much work when it came to getting out of patterns, on healthy patterns in relationships, and I did a lot of work on myself and you know, working out an anxious attachment and even working on my avoidant patterns that sometimes that I can have when it comes to connection
and intimacy and just everything. But then there was a piece of you know, I had done a lot of grieving and I was so strong through all of it, and I had my friends and I had people around me, but the end of the day, like I really was alone.
And I've been alone for a.
Long time, Like I've always done things alone. I'm very very independent. I actually thrive on being alone. And it's definitely a trauma response in the same coin because that has turned into a lot of isolation and depression and not wanting to lean on people. And it's really important that you have connection and community in your life. But anyways,
that's kind of been my life. But I genuinely believe the grieving and the processing that I had to do and go through, and the things that I had to let go of from my mind passing and the darkness and the cycles and everything, like you know, there's a
lot of therapy and everything like that. When I was releasing that and I was grieving that, I genuinely believe God, my mom, everyone, all of the things, all my angels, everything was like, you know what, it is time that Alicia has a really good, solid person in her life that I think will be in my life for a very long time. I do not believe in coincidences. I think that me also going through a grieving process before
meeting my boyfriend was also very important. Not to say that I needed to do it alone, because I had people who were there for me and things like that, but regardless, it was just a process that I had to go through. I had to grieve the loss of such a special connection in my life and I am almost very happy that he didn't come into my life until I was kind of it wasn't like I was coming out of it, because I was still in the thick of it, genuinely, and I still am, like there's
so many days that grief just like overwhelms me. But the first few months I did all that and then he.
Came into my life.
So I just think that if you have been going through some of the things I've already been talking about, it's like, Alisha, I know this. I know I need to be clear, and I am clear, and I know I am detaching in this that then maybe it's just about letting it go for a second and knowing that, like you're a person, will come when it is time. And I know sometimes it started to believe that I know you might want it now. It's also not to convince yourself that you aren't deserving of a good person
now a relationship now. It's just for many reasons. Some of them you might not see it yet. It just hasn't happened. And that's okay, because it will happen. So keep working on yourself, keep doing that work, keep saying no, keep saying yes, keep finding the lessons that are unique to you, because I promise you all relationships are is such a reflection of your past and the lessons that
God the universe wants you to see. And even in my current relationship now, he's teaching me so much about how to be in a healthy, secure relationship, even more so than the other people that I've dated, where some of them were even more secure, but I'm also way more ready for the growth that this relationship has required me to have had. Essentially, your person is out there for you. And I found another pinch Just quote that says soulmates show up when you are honoring your soul, and I think.
That's very true.
I think that before I met my boyfriend, I was honoring what I needed to do for my soul, which actually had nothing to do with relationships. That was me going through a grieving process. Like I was grieving, and I was pouring into myself as much as I can. I was also healing from a really intense flare up during the winter, and I was also when it came time to, you know, opening up my channels, maybe I'll meet somebody whatever. I was being very detached again, I
was being clear. I was thinking about all the other lessons that I've learned over the years of dating other guys, and I just always kept that in the forefront of my mind.
I don't date.
A lot, and I go long periods of time without dating someone before I usually date again. So it's just like reminding myself of the things that maybe I've learned in the past. And I'm not surprised that we.
Met when we did.
And my boyfriend also believes in things the exact same way, like he thinks that. Yes, on one hand, it was very much so divine timing. Definitely, somebody was looking out for us and wanted us to be together, but also he was doing that work on himself as well. He learned to pour into himself and take care of himself and course correct and learn the lessons that were playing out in his past relationships and to be a better man for himself but also for the next person that
he dates as well. And I think when you are so connected to your soul, to yourself and doing that work is inevitable, it's gonna happen. And honestly, even before when I met him, that's what I would tell myself anyways, Like there's no rush there's no pressure.
Because I know it's going to happen eventually.
I don't know when exactly, but I'm just going to do the work that I know that I need to while also believing I am so worthy of love. I don't need to be perfect when it comes to relationship. There's many things that I cannot possibly heal from until I'm actually in a relationship, which is a different topic because like genuinely, like especially if you come from any sort of relational trauma, which most trauma is very relational, There's going to be things that you don't know.
There's going to be things that you struggle with.
There's a lot of things, and I definitely want to come out with an episode on lessons Insecure Love because I think that there's many real lessons that I have learned and things that need to be spoken about more. And I think that online there's a lot of conversation about relationships and it's very black and white, and I think that the ones that are working, the ones that are healing, the ones that just are real relationship have time.
You don't even see them online. You don't hear a lot about it, and we need to have more of those conversations, and I think that relationships will always look different from person to person. So even though I've gone through what I've gone through, it doesn't mean it needs to look the same for you as well. And I
think that's great. And I think it's just important to remember that during hard times, during the times where you're feeling alone, and also to help you course correct because there is a lot of things that we can course correct. Stop entertaining people who are not aligning to your values and your lifestyle. You see somebody who you know is maybe throwing up some red flags even though maybe other things are great, it's okay to still say no to
that person. There are going to be lessons that you will need to learn throughout your relationship.
Just do your best to look at it like that.
So I think that's all I'm going to say for today's episode. Like I said, I'm going to have some more episodes coming out when it comes to relationships. I would like to have another episode when it comes to late blooming and love because I've had experiences. I mean, I'm twenty nine now and i feel like I'm really just entering a really, really, really solid, great relationship that
I think that will last a very long time. And I've also had experiences where I felt like I was kind of that late bloomer I think even when I was younger, definitely a late bloomer and other things too, And I get a lot of questions and it kind of is on par with this conversation of like waiting for love and like when is it going to happen and things like that. So if you guys want another episode on that topic, let me know. I'm also going to be coming out with an episode on aging and
kids and marriage and things like that. I've really learned to slow it down, and I'm so happy I learned some of those lessons of like really slowing things down and not like needing to speed things up when it comes to marriage and kid and that before I met my boyfriend, because I just think that, like, if I was had that mindset and then met him, it's not that I would ruin it or anything like that, but I just I am so happy that I am more grounded and more like chill about things because it allows
you to also learn and heal and do the things that are needed before even moving into marriage and kids and things like that that are so vital that we just skip. We don't even know, because how would we know. Half the time, we don't even see that in the relationships that we're shown to us in childhood. But then online everyone's getting married and kids, and just that you don't know the ins and outs. You don't know what
they've learned or not learned yet. And I think that those are very pivotal times that should be cherished and should take time. And it's okay, so let me know if you want episodes on that. And with that said, I'll see you guys in the next one.
Bye.