196. how to stop being low maintenance in relationships 🎙 situationships, low standards & anxiousness..

and rebirths literally every single week. Something new, I'm learning, something I'm reflecting on. My life is changing, YadA YadA. So anyways, I feel like I lived twelve lives. But I hope everyone is doing good. Today.

maintenance in relationships, And I really just want to honestly, this is gonna be me speaking to a younger version of me. Okay, like my twenties version of me. I'm twenty nine, so like literally like not that long ago version of me, like heavily because this was me to a tee. But I have been having a few clients like one on one sessions, which I do have one

on one sessions. I don't really promote it too much because there's so much that I'm juggling, but if you're wanting to work with me, I do have a link always down below, and I open my sessions weekly and if you can't find a time, you can always email me, but you can always check then. Anyways, I've seen some of my clients, but also my friends and not me

right now. I'm actually in a much better place in my love life right now, which I know I'm sure talking about that soon, but at one point, and why I'm even in a good place and why I'm reflecting on this right now is because I really convinced myself that I was asking for too much in relationships, which was so far from the truth. And this is what

I mean by being low maintenance in relationships. I'm not gonna be talking about the I feel like sometimes, like with trends and stuff, when it's like high maintenance low maintenance, like whatever maintenance type of wording, it kind of sounds like you should be the opposite, so like you should be asking like a guy for money or or X amount of dates or this x amount of treatment when it comes to like material and actions and things like that.

Not to say that you can't ask for that, but I'm just saying, like I want to talk about the like subtle nuances, like the ones where we just don't really catch because I think for probably a lot of us, we're not even those type of people anyways. And I actually feel, and this is why I resonate with it so deeply that a lot of the I'm just gonna say girls women like for this example, but it can

be guys to whatever. The ones who are always self improving, who are independent, who have a lot going for themselves, it's like they do know their worth, like they are aware they're self aware they might be even the advice friend, like they're aware of their past, aware of their traumas, and this that like us girls sometimes do a really good job at trying to not see what the reality is, especially in our love lives, and we're not honest with ourselves when it comes to just how much we are

really accepting the bare minimum. And I want to talk about that. I want to talk about where that comes from. I want to talk about some of the things that I have learned to not be so afraid to ask for more, but also just to feel better about letting go of the things that are not serving me in Sorry, theo right now has a new toy and he's like moving my camera after watching on YouTube. So being somebody

who was I would say like your average anxiously attached in my twenties when it came to dating, when I learned about being anxiously attached, and I learned that, oh, it's important to have a relationship with yourself and learn how to self soothe and you know, like not rely solely on a man or someone else's attention and things

like that. I worked on myself when it came to the relationships like that, and I definitely got into relationships where it's like I knew that I loved myself or I thought that I did, but I would still be triggered. And it got to a point where I really learned I was just gas letting myself into saying, like, oh, it's me, Like I'm anxiously attached. I need to learn how to love myself more. Why am I getting so

triggered over someone else's behavior? And you know, if they're not texting me or calling me in this that now, like I said, I'm talking to the ones who aren't blowing up someone's phone and needing somebody to hold their hands, So you're gonna have to discern whether this is you or not. But for me, I would still be so anxiously attacked and triggered in relationships, even as I knew I was so like self aware and like I was so like good and like.

real with myself. I would go around and around and make excuses as to why it's fine that this need is not met in a relationship, whether it's like this person coming to see me, or action or consistency or frequency and conversation or finances even or like where this person was in their life, like it was just such a you know, doing a dance around these things, these

really important things. And it's even worse when you know you are with probably people you've dated, these people who you know that they like you or love you even and it's not really actually toxic, which is sometimes why it's confusing when you are triggered or like feeling anxious.

But this is a thing, and it kind of makes sense when you come from dysfunction in relationships, or when if you're real with yourself, you've grown up and actually not a lot of your needs have been met, or you don't know how to ask for them or don't know how to communicate whatever it is. It's kind of silly to think that we would just automatically be in the most healthy relationships now obviously that can happen, and also it can you can become secure, you can match

up with a secure person and whatever. But I'm just saying, like, sometimes we're always convincing ourselves it's us. But if we actually look at it, like we're not choosing people who are able to show up and this is the thing,

and it's a thing for me, it's a thing for the people that I talk to and even friends. Like it's typically this cycle of in your childhood somewhere, Okay, I just like to use parents as example. It could be your caregivers. It could be completely different situations, but whatever it is, you are primed to always want love. Like you're you're human, You're always gonna have that desire, and love means a lot of things, especially when we're

young too. It also means safety. It means that we can express ourselves and be who we need to be, you know, like there's nothing to fear. But also safety in the sense of like I need to stay alive, you know. So we're wired for that, and we get that first from our caregivers, our parents or whoever is

looking after us. But when we don't get that, when we have an absent father or an absent mother or somebody we just couldn't satisfy, whatever the case is, even though we don't know it consciously, like subconsciously, we're always trying to figure out why why can't I get that to love? Why does he love me? Why why can't I get that love? Why can't I get that feeling? It's like an instinctual thing, and I'm not able to get it. And we can do that in the form

of thinking we are the problem. We can and try to understand it by accepting the bare minimum. Because when you accept the bare minimum, like your parent giving you the bare minimum, and that translates into adult life, but your parent that's giving you the bare minimum, it hurts less than to face the reality that you're really not getting the love that you deeply are desiring from a parent,

like genuinely. Like That's what we do in our childlike brains as we come up with all of these excuses and these ways of looking at things so that we can put these parents on pedestals, and also to make sure that we're not losing any sort of that love or feel any sort of that pain, because it's painful. And this is not to say that like our parents

are even supposed to be perfect. Who's even to say that, right, And we don't have to do the whole blame game and stuff, But I'm just wanting to like say what it is like that's literally attachments as much as obviously I can explain it, right, Like I'm not a therapist, but I learned a lot about this in therapy and in so many other resources, and it's just been so true for me. I have not even learned how to have healthy relationships based off of the ones that were

shown to me. But also I was taught to accept the bare minimum because that's all the times what I was getting from the first relationships in my life, and not to ask for a lot, and that there would be consequences if I asked for things, and or I didn't get taught how to have boundaries in relationships, and when you don't have boundaries in relationships, like anything goes and you don't respect yourself. Like all of these things

stem from childhood, like you guys now. But the thing that changed the game for me, and this still takes time, right, But the thing that changed the game for me was witnessing when I was re enacting these patterns from childhood with the people that I was dating and when I was in these like attachment styles with people who were like kind of avoidant or I was like anxiously attached regardless of how much I worked on myself or not.

The main theme there was the main theme in my attachments with my parents, which was accepting the bare minimum and always giving excuses and trying to tell myself like, well, this person me though, and it's fine that this is, you know, not a good situation in terms of like they don't know what they want to do with their life, or they're being really inconsistent, or they don't know what

they want, like whatever it is. It was all the same things that I was doing in my brain when I was a little child, and you do that in your adulthood life unless you kind of catch that pattern.

And also bringing it back to being anxiously attached, like you became anxiously attached because people weren't able to meet your need somewhere in your life, and there was a lot of danger that you perceived in your life and you probably went through things that were traumatic, and so when you're feeling that same way in relationships and you've worked on yourself and you know, like maybe this is not your first road yet, whatever it is, right, and

you're still feeling that a lot of times it's just because you're in these relationships that are still not safe for you. And what I mean by that is, like you everyone needs certain things in relationships, whether it is how much quality time and physical touch and words of all that kind of stuff. And I'm not even really talking about the love languages, but I just mean genuinely

like everyone needs something different. But there's gonna be a level of consistency that you should be standing in and asking foreign relationships because you deserve it and you never got it, but realistically you just need that, especially if you, you know, are more susceptible to being anxiously attached and worried and you know, all of these things. And I'm not saying like, you know, okay, we like walk around with trauma and I'm anxiously attached to like you need

to just like bow down to me. It's not that, like I'm really trying to have a mature conversation. I think for the most part, you guys can understand what I'm saying. But there are just gonna be things that you need, like consistency, like deep conversations and connection, like even patience somebody who is making a genuine effort over and over and over again and showing you, hey, I'm here for you, and I want to be here for you, and I want to support you, and I want.

to repairent me. But honestly, you heal in relationships, like a good therapist will tell you that you don't heal by doing a bunch of self love practices, which is something that one of my clients was asking me about because she was like, well, what do you like suggest I do? Like do I need to do more self love and spend time with myself? And I had asked her, okay, like what do you do in your free time?

and you're not asking for too much. And in this specific circumstance, I promise you guys, she was not asking for a lot. And I look at myself too, and I look back and I'm like, girl, i was not asking for even a crumb, And I'm like getting mad at myself when I'm feeling anxiously attaches, like, babe, of course you're feeling anxiously attached, or you're feeling a little bit uneasy in your relationship when you do not have

consistency from somebody and you have somebody showing up for you. Okay, sorry, my camera died, so I kind of forget where I left off. But something that I learned in my twenties when I was dating and am dating, my anxious attachment style can go away in like quite literally three seconds if I'm with the right person. And this does not mean that you shouldn't again work on yourself and like

love yourself. And you know, I think the reason why I'm not super anxiously attached even in like the healthiest relationship or insecure is because I do work on myself. And I do have a podcast episode on how to have a relationship with yourself. So I'll link that down below because if you're not there yet, then that video will be helpful. But you know, it gets a point where like you've done enough work on yourself, and then when you find somebody who genuinely is just like taking

all the boxes, the anxious attachment is non existent. Okay. And one thing that helped me with acting like this

or just being like this in relationships is understanding that, you know, what the reality is. I didn't get certain things in childhood, but I deserved it, you know, like there was just love that I didn't get, or consistency or whatever it is that I'm used to accepting. Those were just things that I didn't get shown in childhood.

But if I think about myself when I was younger, like, of course I deserve that of course I deserved consistency and people to teach me how to be in relationships and show up and create a real family and a bond and love and all of that stuff. Like I deserved that. And I think it's really just acknowledging that you have the inner child and that you want to

show up for it. Because I think that this really helps you move away from accepting the bare minimum, because what you need to do is you need to allow yourself to want more. And you couldn't ask for that or you didn't get that when you're younger, but as you mature, it is your responsibility, but it is your blessing that you can give to yourself to finally ask

for more. Now. I found it challenging to ask for more in relationships or just stop accepting the bare minimum when I had this type of mindset, And the mindset really is is like I need to do everything myself, and we should all give ourselves props the part of us that wants to do everything ourselves because we had to. That was the way you kept safe in your life.

You've learned how to do everything on your own. Now you also could just be afraid because you were taught that you can't ask, like you're not allowed, you don't have a voice. But all of these stories are really just there to help you stay stuck. And it's a very foreign concept for people who never had people show up consistently in their lives, at least as it is

for me. Hi, it is foreign. Like I'm around some people who really struggle with even understanding what I mean by this, Like I have lived so introverted and I'm an extrovert, like I'm actually really good socially, but like I have constantly leaned on myself the most, and partly it was like my fault in a way because like I always retreated to myself, Like I didn't lean on friends even if they tried things like that. Like it was definitely a balance of like me, but then also

maybe just like my environment. But it was work, you know, opening up to people and trusting people. But I knew I had to do it because it's so unhealthy to not and just know that sometimes it feels uncomfortable, and it's going to feel uncomfortable, and you're gonna have voices in your head being like no, you shouldn't ask or get help or whatever it is. Or get close to people.

But again those are all just lies to keep you stuck, and eventually you will feel more at home with people, places, and things when you start practicing being like okay, like I could do things all on my own, I could isolate, I could deal with my problems alone, I could cry alone, I could whatever it is alone. But I don't have to, like and you don't need to, And really life is a lot easier and better when you do allow people in.

And honestly, if you can't even think about it like that, you can only grow so much as a person if you do everything on your own, Like as much as you think that you can just like be super high achieving. It comes to a point where, like if in work

you need a team, eventually you need to delegate. You need help, you need conversations, or just as a person, like if you want to grow in relationships, like you need to be exposed to other people and you know, going out with other couples or friends or having good friendships so that they can kind of help you and hopefully guide you in a good way when it comes to relationships and things like that or anything in your life. But you need people, You need resources, You need things,

and you shouldn't feel bad for that. So always reminding yourself of that anytime that you feel like you might be too afraid to voice what you need in a relationship or you're afraid to let go of something that you knew. Please, girl, we're gonna get into it. But like you know, Okay, So next thing, I don't even know,

like how many points I don't even I'm just talking at this point whatever. I don't actually know if I already said this, But it's getting clear on what you want in a relationship. And you can find this out by seeing what you have accepted in your previous relationships or what you wish you had more of even in your current relationship. Like you're either happy with it or

you're not. Okay, like is there really Like obviously relationships are not perfect, but you're either like anxious or you're not. You're worried or you're not. You're waiting and stressing or holding something in or you're like you're not. So just be real with yourself and ask yourself, like, what are those things that would help you a little bit at ease.

I don't even care if you want to gaslight yourself and say, well, no, I'm asking for too much if I asked to go on a phone call every night, or have a longer conversation than five minutes, or maybe to like get a morning text. Listen, you're gaslighting yourself into telling yourself that no, no, no, it's fine, I don't need that, or like, I'm just being too like yes, it's the way you communicate one hundred percent. Okay, Again, I'm not talking to every single person under the sun.

When it comes to this advice, I possibly cannot but be real with yourself. So I have a journal problem for you guys, and you can journal on this, and again the prompts will be in the description as well. If I had to be real with myself, what have I accepted and negotiated in my past relationships that do not align to what I truly want in a relationship, and what do I want in a relationship?

look okay, please, but what are those qualities? Like? Do you want a husband who's going to be a good father and who's going to treat you right and respect you and love on you and show up for you and support you for the things that matter and push you in the ways that maybe you can't be pushed yourself, not because you don't want to do it, but because

you need another perspective. Do you want to be with somebody who you can laugh with and have fun with and go to concerts or festivals or do the same morning routine whatever it is, Like, think about it. You probably like the person that you're with if you're watching this, or the person that maybe you're stuck in a little cycle with or you keep going back to or you're past previous. They probably aren't checking those boxes and you've probably just put it to the side it's fine, doesn't matter,

or you've excused why. And I'm not saying that everyone is going to be perfect and whatever, and like maybe there's waiting periods, right like you grow with somebody and maybe eiy're in school or maybe they're long distance for

a bit. That's that's fine, okay, But you know, I feel like a lot of us again, we literally just shut down the play center, the love center, the desires of what we really want and need for somebody who probably at the beginning when they handed you, hey, a card of things that I can give you and things that I can't, you probably did see a lot of those things that they couldn't. But you're like, well, I'm

used to that and it doesn't really matter. And honestly, this is the only card that's ever been played, So what am I even going to say no to it? But again, you should have had the card. You should have been granted the card of all your needs being met. And when it comes to relationships, it's not like all your needs are gonna be met right away.

want to check in to see like who is the person that I'm with? But also what am I afraid of if I do communicate, because that's another thing, right, it could be your insecurities. But this is what I like to think, and this is what I always say too. It's like, you have to be willing to walk away from things that don't serve you. And in this case we'll talk about relationships. You have to be willing to

walk away. When you're willing to walk away, you are more able to communicate things because it's like, Okay, well if I communicate this and you know it's not working, it's not vibing with us, and I can walk away. But you're gonna be more willing to walk away when you remind yourself that if you're walking away from anything, it's because it's not for you. Okay, we would not walk away from something that is genuinely a beautiful, healthy connection.

Is their outliers, Sure, but I'm just talking about like, realistically, you wouldn't walk away from your dream relationship now, yes, could you be sabotaging things and could you know that

that person's really good for you and this that? Yeah, maybe, But for the most part, I am talking about those relationships where it's just those like stuckness, energy of back and forth, and you know, if you could be real with yourself that you're just it's you're not getting what you actually deserve, even if you believe it or not, You're just not getting You're getting the bare minimum. And

that's what I've always love to tell myself. If it's not this, then it's just better, right because you're learning now from your current or your past relationship what didn't work, or you should be really looking at it and being real with yourself and doing whatever work that you need to do on yourself, like recentering yourself. You know, like it's definitely a thing to lose yourself in relationships, but also to be like, okay, like what did I accept?

And a lot of times it's those patterns in different flavors sometimes, So what did I accept that I didn't like. What could I improve on these things? And you're going to look for that moving forward. Now, I do think that there is a part where it kind of lands on us a little bit more, at least for me, Like I was, yes, sometimes most of the times just with people who really just weren't meeting my needs, and I was just kind of living out with that pattern.

But I didn't really know how to communicate, And of course the willingness to walk away is always helpful. But then there are relationships where again they're not perfect, right, So you do need to be mature and communicate and not shut down. And you can ask yourself this, what is the way that I tend to shut down when it comes to seeing that my relationship needs are not being met? And a lot of us won't say anything.

We'll just try and play the game perfectly, right, Okay, Well, I don't want to be too emotional or I don't want to be too much, so I'm just gonna leave it. I'm just whatever, it's fine. You tell yourself these stories about how it's okay, whatever it is, right, but you are really gonna need to challenge yourself, and for me, I was somebody who would always just pretend like it

didn't FaZe me, like whatever. You know, like I'm realizing that I'm with somebody who's avoidant or they're doing behaviors or whatever. Like I was that person that was like, hey,

I'm just not gonna say anything. But then I was still in those situations or if I was in like maybe like a healthier relationship, I was in a relationship, it would kind of just be like I'm just gonna shut down or you know, let myself kind of blow up even and I find the best way to help yourself communicate in relationships is giving yourself a moment, like doing your best not to react in that moment, even if you do know what to say, or you don't don't know what to say, whatever it is, Like I

always just try and like breathe, Like even in a healthy relationship and I'm feeling like a little bit triggered, like because you can go back into your old ways, whatever those are, I really just like to bring my attention to myself and like take a few breaths, even if it's going to come off like I am being silent. I'm not trying to be silent. It's just like what

that is. And then I'm thinking about like what do we have here, Like am I with somebody who it's worth to kind of like communicate and am I safe to communicate? And if I am safe to communicate because I know this person is showing up for me consistently in this that then it does feel easier to open up.

But again, sometimes you're not even with something like you are triggered and you need to communicate, but then you don't know how because also you're with somebody who it's impossible to communicate with because that's probably what we're taught in childhood too, and so it's like you don't really you know what I mean, Like, listen, it's a whole thing. I'm saying all this really to say, like I just want you to be real with yourself first and foremost

when it comes to your relationships. Enough with the gaslighting and telling yourself that you are asking for too much. You are not. And the ones who are independent, the ones who work hard on themselves, the ones who are

hard on themselves in general. Okay, you guys are probably the ones who are asking for the least seriously, And I actually think something that has been really helpful for me is to start being around people and even places that are healthy, okay, and to see healthy forms of love and getting support and talking to the people who have It's not about like who has the most successful

relationship or whatever, but like learning about it. So obviously listening to podcasts and reading books on attachment styles and you know, doing that inner child work, doing that work on myself and self development, but naturally like going out to places that are healthy, right, like not attracting and not talking to people.

but relationships whatever you're interested in. But they're speaking from a place of lived experience, in the years of experience, and just like surrounding yourself with good people, places and things online and offline, because I think that that really rewires your brain, right because you're so used to seeing dysfunction.

And I even think about, like in my early twenties, like a lot of my friends around me also kind of learn dysfunction or their were dysfunctional relationships, or everyone was accepting the bare minimum, and you know, like hookup culture was the thing, and it was very rare for like anyone to have somebody be treating them right or be in a healthy relationship. But once you start to get exposed to that, you realize you're not asking for too much. You never were, and I mean you don't

even need that to realize that. Think about your past. But also being influenced in a healthy way from people who are healthy, it will retrain you to start standing up into your worth and being like, actually no, and listen, this is like an analogy. I think it's this analogy whatever it is that I like to think about everyone on earth. And let's say we're just going to use men here, all the men on earth, right, Like, they all have something that they can give you if they

want to date you. It could be age, it could be stage of life. It could be their career paths, it could be their personalities, it could be their looks. All of these things and by the way, let's just say that we know, like they all have good intention and they really like you, and they just like whatever they want to be with you. Just because they're handing you this card doesn't mean that you have to take it,

but that's what you do. It's as soon as somebody gives you a card, you don't even read it, you just take it. You take it, And we need to stop doing that. We have to remind ourselves with everything, like what's being presented, let me look at it with a critical lens, a nice loving soft lens too. Okay, like we're just you know, using words here, but let me look at it. Is this person or is this situation? Is this really going to fill me up? Is this

what I'm looking for? And ask yourself that don't just accept whatever comes to you and remind yourself if it's not this, it's something better. And even if you couldn't fully see it and you're in it now or you were in it for so long, it's fine. It's life. That's what happens. You learn your patterns through going through these times, unfortunately, but you do not need to take people, places and things on to yourself just because it's there and how I look at it is in my like

I'm twenty nine, so like my thirties. Here, I'm just protecting my innerchility. I'm protecting myself. And so I need to say no to a lot of things in life. Like you need to do that even in business. You need to do that with friends. You can't say yes to everything. You can't attend everything you don't need to. So if you're gonna say no to things, you're gonna start saying yes to the things that actually matter to you and the things that you need uniquely. And you're

not gonna feel bad about it anymore. We don't need to feel bad about it. And the people who are so worried about feeling bad about it, you ain't got nothing to worry about because you care a lot. And like I said, I just think the first thing you need to do is like, let's just get real, let's get clear. And actually, this is what I asked at the beginning of the year. I asked God, I asked my mom. I was like, you know what, I know so much about myself, and I know so much about

my patterns, and I know a lot of things. I asked, just let me be so clear, God, please let me see things clearly. And what I was really asking is let me see my patterns in the forefront of my face, like every day, all day, so that I can continuously move it out of the way and move it out of the way because I know that this is the only thing that is in the way of me getting into something that is better for me. And I hope

that's what you guys get clear on as well. What are your patterns, what are the ways that you shut down, what are the ways that you can really challenge yourself when it comes to communication, and also being real with yourself about the people that you are dating and the things that you're not accepting, and getting very clear on what it is that you need and what you want in a relationship, and also surrounding yourself with people, places, and things that will remind you of that healthy love

or those healthy things in your life and push you and motivate you and expand your mind, because again, sometimes we're just not even around that and that can be kind of like a recipe for disaster in a way, because you don't know anything but what you know right. Actually, one last thing that I'll say, I found this podcast

it's called Come Together, and it is with like a husband and a wife. I think that they were on some sort of TV show or something. I don't really know, but there would dear media. So they had posted a clip and I was intrigued, so I listened to. They only have like two full episodes right now, but they've been married for like over ten years, and they just talk about I'm assuming, like they talk about parenting. They talk about the relationship and sex and love and marriage

and all of those things. And from what I'm hearing, like their stories, Like it's so cute to hear a married couple who are a lot older like talk about like all the things that they went through when they're twenty seven and they were partying and then they had a kid, and like when they were like not slumming it.

They definitely didn't slum at these people. They lived in New York, but like just the trials and tribulations of their life and their relationships and how different phases of their lives they were either more intimate or less intimate, or like there was things that came up and challenges and struggles and just hearing like real stories from people who for the most part are sharing their real life stories.

Like I think that that is really interesting to me, and I'm like more interested in that kind of stuff because I think, like things that I've learned when it comes to relationships is that it does take work. And actually, you know what, No, I'm gonna read something else because this explains what I'm trying to say perfectly, and I found it on Instagram. A healthy relationship will challenge you,

but not the way the broken ones did. It won't leave you exhausted from sleepless nights, second guessing you're worth or waking up with anxiety in your chest. Instead, it will challenge you to be vulnerable when it feels easier to shut down. It will challenge you to stay, not run. It will challenge you to regulate your emotions, to communicate with heart, and to show up even when you don't feel like it. A healthy relationship doesn't drain you. It

grows you. It calls you to be more mature, grounded, and self aware version of you. And that's the kind of challenge worth saying yes too. So if you're in something that is not doing that, but doing the anxiousness and the sleepless nights in this that please, like be booth with yourself about how much you are telling yourself that it's you and that like you need to just do more self love and this that, and again it's

not up to me. And there are people who are you know, really needing somebody to be there everything, all the time, every second. And if that is the case, then that episode will be down below. But I think a lot of us, like I don't know, I think a lot of us are asking for nothing really at all, and there are many people who will give you much more.

And you have to sometimes trust and have faith in the unknown of even knowing what that feels like or looks like, because you probably don't, and even if you think you do, once you get into it, it's like, holy shit, this feels actually even more weird because it's not normal. But it also feels good and it feels like are remembering because you know, deep down somewhere you do deserve that, like you do, or at least you

start to learn that, and it is out there. And for me, I've learned in my twenties, like it's just so much worth waiting for and yes, focusing on myself and loving myself, but also just being real with the things that I'm accepting and trying my best, you know, not being perfect, but trying my best in dating, and also just trusting that there's there's a plan, you know, like there it's gonna work out. Things will work out, and don't let yourself be fed into the lie of

like it's not gonna work out. I'm not gonna find anyone, Like I can't find anyone better than this and this that it's you and your stories. Enough with the stories, and why not just take the risk? Okay, even if things don't work out or whatever, wouldn't you rather at least have believed that you could have better in your life than to just be always wondering and just constantly being stressed all the time, like subtly stressed though because a lot of times we don't really even know it.

But like if you're let's say, in a situationship or anxiously attached, do you know what that does to your nervous system, Like you're on all the time, even in the most regulated of anxiously attached girls. Okay, Like I look back, and even when I was fine, like I wasn't like acting out of sorts or anything like that, and I was trying to do my best to regulate myself, and I was in a way, I still wasn't because in the back of my head I had that pattern that I was playing out.

so annoying. And then I was like dreading having to go for a walk because he wouldn't really be walking, and also he wasn't fully vaxed here. He is lung legs. He's out of it right now. Look at listen if you listen on audio. This is why we got the pod sometimes. Anyways, he was walking so good. He just fell asleep like this on my arm. So good he

was walking. And now I'm just so excited to be able to go walk in the places that I walk because it's like a longer area nearby the water, because I have confidence that he's gonna be walking and I can always pick him up and stuff like that too. But we're gonna be doing lots of hot boy walk training because that's what we do in the spring and summertime here. So anyways, we're gonna go. And he says he loves you guys, and he sees all the love on social media all the time. And yeah, for anyone

who's new, he's Italian Greyhound. Okay, talk to you next one. Bye.