182. stop playing small in love and in LIFE.. start asking for more.

kind of like a random recording day for me. I wasn't really planning on recording, but there's been a few things that have been happening in my life, well many as you guys know, and with that there is a lot of realizations, there's a lot of lessons, there's a lot of messages that I've been getting and it's been steering up in my brain. So I was journaling this morning and I'm like, you know what, I need to bring it to the podcast. You need to hear this message.

I do, and hopefully this will continue to open up a conversation for all of us and to think bigger and do bigger, which is the topic of this episode. So we really need to stop playing small in life, in love and money, in success, in career. We really need to stop. Now, there's a few things that have been happening in my life that given me inspiration to talk about this, but I want to talk about first one person and her name is Grow with Joe or Johannah. Actually,

she is a very big content creator. She's actually from Toronto, which is amazing, and she's really an expander for me. But she's on YouTube, she's on Instagram. Her main thing is that she does like at home workouts. She has an app. I've actually worked with her brand a year or two ago on my vlog channel, like my YouTube channel, second channel. But anyways, she's amazing. She's very successful online. And she had posted a video the other day talking

about how she gained ten million subscribers. And in that video, it wasn't about oh, you just need to post this type of content this many times a day, this that it was all just mindset shifts that she needed to make to really become this version of her that was successful beyond her even wildest dreams. And she's also very I was gonna say spiritual, but she's Christian, so religious, so some of her tips and like the mindset shift

that she made was really connected to God. And I am not a Christian, but so much of what she was saying was just resonating with me so deeply, so for one, I definitely would suggest checking out her video.

I will have it linked down below. But of course she was giving advice to people who kind of want to step into their purpose or you know, start their own business or start content creation or whatever, and of course I kind of had the same mindset when it comes to taking the leap of faith and knowing that you have a purpose and a passion and go towards

that even if you're not ready. And I will kind of continue talking about that in this episode, but she said one thing that really stood out to me, and it really made me think about just every other area of my life too that I've seen myself play small and this is going to correlate a lot to love

as well. And also side note, I've been seeing how a few of my anxiously attached videos have been not like going viral, but the algorithm is pushing them again and I'm seeing a lot of comments and how a lot of people have been really struggling with kind of like accepting the bare minimum. Like I can see what you guys are dealing with. So I think that this will resonate even outside of like finding your purpose or

going for your dream life or things like that. But in that video, she was talking about playing small and how she really needed to challenge her mindset when it came to standing in smallness, and she was saying, like, you really have to stop standing in smallness. You have to really stop being okay with being small and playing

small in your life. Whether that is you have a message, or you have something that you can bring to the world, but you're just playing small and you're keeping it to yourself, or you're not going for your dreams, or you're not pushing yourself. But I also think about this in the sense of, let's say, love, it's so important you start to point out and see within yourself how you are really standing in smallness and you are really accepting the bare minimum, and you are really sitting here and not

being a bigger version of you. You're so used to accept the bare minimum. You're so used to constantly counting yourself out and not using your voice and not taking action towards things, and getting in your head about things and then never doing them. And this is what happens a lot too. And I've seen this in myself, whether it is with love or abundance or success. Sometimes we start getting really caught up with what is being presented

in our lives, which is understandable. Somebody's not showing up for us, somebody's giving us a bare minimum, somebody's disappointing us, somebody's treating us poorly, or we're just so frustrated with the fact that we don't have our dream job or we don't have enough money. And on one hand, we can acknowledge those things, but sometimes we spend so much time reacting to the things that are not meant for

us anyways. And if you want better relationships, if you want to be treated better, if you want to have that dream job, you have to stop responding to what's in front of you right now, because the dream version of you, the highest version of you, would they even be dealing with what you're dealing with right now? Would they be getting upset and arguing and negotiating and going back and forth with a person, place, or thing when

it's the bare minimum? Anyways, And I know it's difficult, and it is important that we respond to certain things I'm not saying, be passive and never say what you need to say to somebody, or you know, respond to the chaos of your life obviously, but it is to see how sometimes we get so wrapped up and we start spiraling, and we start arguing with people, or we start just getting mad at life for it not presenting to us what we really want or what we believe

we deserve. But we keep responding to it. We keep responding to it, We keep responding to the person who gives us the bare minimum. We need to stop being upset about that and be like, Okay, you know what I deserve more. I want this type of person in my life to show up this way. I want this dream job, I want more money, I want more success,

I want more whatever. But I need to be the person that acts like they get that and would the dream version of me or even if you can think about this when it comes to relationships, I always say this, like your dream husband or your dream relationship, like, that's not how it would work out. Your dream husband wouldn't treat you like that. The dream version of you wouldn't even be entertaining somebody who treats you like crap. But

you need to be the one that changes first. You need to be the one that stops responding to the things that you don't want in your life, you do deserve to have more abundance and more success, And quite frankly, you're so used to accepting the bare minimum. You're so used to not asking for a lot, you're so used to living in scarcity, because that's probably what you've came from, That's what I came from. I got really good at accepting the bare minimum from my parents. Doesn't mean that

they didn't love me. It doesn't mean that, you know, they didn't try. But at the end of the day, like I was primed in my life to kind of accept the bare minimum, and I know in my adulthood life that I do deserve more. But it's going to be up to me to stand in that. It's going to be up to me to be like, you know what, I need more resources, I need people to show up for me. I need X, Y and Z. And it's

not from this place of being egotistical. It's not from a place of being rude to people or hurting people or anything. It's just the fact of the matter that we do deserve a lot more things, but we are so used to standing in smallness. And you know, she was also saying in her video, how God and you can even think about this, just like the universe. If you don't believe in God, whatever, how God's given you a purpose or a desire or something. And even if

you don't know that right now, what that is. God's given you something life force, energy is something to bring into this world and to share with people, to help people. And you're just going to stay small. You're just going to keep that to yourself. You're not going to go out into the world and help others, or inspire others, or use the talent that you have and change people's lives or whatever it is that you have. You're not

gonna do that. You're just gonna stay small. You're not gonna be a source of love and support for other people, whatever it is. You're just going to stay small personally. For me, I don't think that's the best use of our time here now. I found this quote on Pinterress, because you guys know, I love me a good Pinterest quote, and it says you must allow yourself to outgrow and depart from certain eras of your life with a gentle

sort of ruthlessness. And I'm going to bring it back to accepting the bare minimum or just being in relationships or even friendships or certain circumstances actually in your life. It doesn't even have to be relationships where you know it's half assed, you know it's not the best quality.

You know, like it's not making you happy. It's not about arguing with people or getting even really angry, which maybe you do have some anger that you need to release, and maybe you don't need to release it on somebody else. Maybe it could be like journal or therapy or you know, with yourself, or if you are going to communicate with people, you do it in a way of understanding that they might be not fully ready to see it the way you see it regardless, it's like a separate type of conversation.

But the way that I like to look at some of the situations that might be presenting in my life, I look at it with a gentle, compassionate understanding as much as I can heart and release it in the most understanding way of knowing that I deserve more. And I'm not even going to fight this reality right now?

Right Why am I going to continue to spiral out and be anxious and be angry and try to really fight with life when I can just see it for what it is, This person, plays or thing that's just not exactly in alignment with who I am or what I deserve and what I know I deserve. Why don't I just see it for what it is, do my best to not react, which I understand it's hard to

not react. Okay, this is just like in theory in a way, But do my best to not react so much and see it for what it is and be like, you know what, I'm going to release this that does not serve me. I know that the highest version of me wouldn't be responding and continuously negotiating and playing with this realm of life that does not serve me and

I don't deserve. And I'm going to move into a new era of my life and I'm going to focus on what I know I deserve, which is more than this, which is better than this, And you really have to give yourself that gift. And I think about my inner child. I think about the young version of me that deserves so much more and deserved a lot more in her life when it came to what her parents could give her.

And I look at some of the actions that my parents took, let's say, and as much as I've forgiven them, and I've moved on from a lot of it, and I've had to grieve many losses, all different aspects and chapters of my parents. The way that I didn't continuously spiral into the disappointment although there was a lot of it, or the sadness although there was a lot of it, or the same habits that my parents ended up going down the road that they went down when it came

to like addictions and things like that. The way that I stopped myself from getting in those spirals was really looking at the situation for what it is and being like, you know what, Unfortunately I had these circumstances happen in my life, and although it impacted me and it did knock me down a few notches, what I'm not going to do to the best of my ability kind of let myself have to deal with the consequences of someone

else's actions. And this is kind of like what I mean, And I think about this when it comes to like, let's say you're anxiously attached in someone's being really avoidant and they are not taking responsibility of communication in your

relationship when they should. You know, they're not showing up for you or whatever it is really shitty that they're doing that, and them being avoidant is not only something you don't deserve, but on top of that, what ends up happening is is it elicits this feeling where you feel really crap about yourself and now you're anxious all day and you're spiraling and your second guessing yourself and you're waiting around, and it's like, you don't deserve to

spend your entire day spiraling on somebody who's decided to be avoidant or decided to not show up for you. You don't deserve to spend your entire day suffering. And I understand why you do that, right, because you have that attachment. And it's not to say that you're never gonna have a reaction, right It's not like I've never had a reaction of feeling disappointed when my parents didn't

show up for me. It's a natural human response. But I've tried to do my best over the years to kind of look at it from this like higher self lens and be like, Okay, your parents or your situation in life or whatever, these are the things that are happening, but you don't deserve to deal with the consequences of what's happening here. So can we do the best we can to remind ourselves that we deserve more than this?

And how can we slowly stop responding to the it that's not ours, the avoidant attachments, the crappy situations that we were put in. And so when life is presenting something to me that's nothing that I deserve, of course I'll feel my feelings. Of course I'm not going to be perfect. Most likely I'm going to react to certain things, but I do my best to remind myself that I

don't deserve to suffer more. Right, there's that impact, there's that pain, but then there's suffering and I don't deserve that. So I'm going to release this and I'm going to remind myself that I deserve more and I can be more. And what can I do in my present moment to

keep myself on track? And I think this comes down to being brave as well, being brave and have encouraged that you do deserve more than what your current circumstance is, and that it might feel uncomfortable, but that you can do it, and that there is better people places than things that are coming to you outside of this crappy

circumstance or situation whatever that you're currently in. So a few things that I can think of that have helped me through the times where I've been playing small, whether that it's in love or that's just me on my purpose or just bringing my gifts to the world. Our first definitely trying to do my best to not respond to what is happening from this old version of me and reminding myself, like the highest version of me and

my dream life, like, it's not this. So if it's not this, then why am I wasting my time responding to this? Why am I accepting this? Why am I living in this version of me that I do not want? Whatever's happening right now is just a test, it's a lesson. Let me do my best to not respond to this.

And what I like to do is to get very clear on the vision that I hold for myself, which is pretty easy when you look around in your environment and you realize, oh, I don't like this, that and the third get clear, get clear on your dreams, your dream life, your dream relateationship, how do you want to be treated? What exactly do you want? You get clear on that. So that when life presents you a half assed version of people, places, and things, you have more

of a sense of no, no, thank you. But if you're not clear and you're not spending that time to really focus in and hone in on that, yes you will get confused. Yes you will go back to old ways and old patterns because that is what you're used to. Another thing I do is I really like to take action.

This is kind of in alignment with being on purpose or feeling afraid to go and do X, Y and z, you know, start that new business or content creation or to podcast, or even just doing something for the first time and going out into the world or taking a new class or starting a hobby or meeting a new friend for the first time. Understand that you are really

never going to be fully prepared. And I think taking action is so important because if you don't take action on your goals or the ideas that you have in your life, that is when you go back into this smallness and you start telling yourself you can't do it, I don't have enough resources, I'm not good enough. You start comparing yourself. That's another thing. You spend more time comparing yourself or looking grass is grainer over here. Look at how this person or that person is doing it,

and that's not me, so I can't do it. Just that action will take away a lot of that negative self talk and second guessing and self doubt. And also what has helped me is to cultivate a practice of pouring into yourself and reminding yourself of small winds that you have had, or you have created, or you have achieved in your life, whether it is within love or just who you are as a person, or your career

or whatever. Because I feel like if you don't pour into yourself and remind yourself of how great you are, how worthy and deserving you are, how all of the amazing things that you have accomplished in your life, you will get can you will forget that you deserve more.

And it's not that you have to do things in order to be deserving of love or abundance or anything like that, but it does help for you to believe that you can have more in your life when you pour into yourself and you say, you know what, actually, I've done this that in the third and I've accomplished this thing, and I've been working myself out of these ruts and I show up for myself, and I show up for other people, and I'm kind and I'm loving, and I deserve more than this. I just deserve more

than this. You have to remind yourself of that. But instead you sit here and you question why you get the bare minimum, why you get these half assed things. Stop doing that. You don't need to second guess your worth. You don't need to second guess yourself. Stop letting what is currently happening in your life question your worth. Okay, you have to remind yourself of your worth. Stop responding to the things that are not in alignment with you.

This is not the things that you want anyways. Let's stop doing that as much as we can, and let's do more for ourselves. Let's play bigger. Let's do more. We need to do more. We need to step outside of comfort zones. And we know we need to do that because what we desire is bigger than ourselves. Your dream life, your dream home, dream relationship, dream family, friends, experiences, whatever it is that is bigger than you right now, it's going to require a new version of you. It's

going to require you to think bigger. So stop getting wrapped up in the smallness of what is right now. Respectfully walk away from people, respectfully, see things for what it is, don't take it personally. Understand these things are a lesson and move forward. Focus on what you do want, what you do deserve, and love yourself more than these situations. Remind yourself that you are bigger than what is currently going on in this reality, and stay strong and show

up for yourself as much as you can. You do not need to be perfect, but you do deserve more. But it is going to be you who gives yourself that gift, and you that remind yourself of that, and you that starts to take that action away from the things that do not serve you. Sometimes it can be lonely when you are choosing yourself and you are healing and you are prioritizing yourself. But understand that this is way better for you than half ass versions of people, places,

and things. These are patterns, These are cycles that you are breaking. Recognize when you start going back into these patterns. Because you go into these patterns a lot with certain people, or you know, certain projects that you're working on, or in school situations, whatever it is, just be very aware of when you're going into these circumstances and remind yourself and have that little pep talk and be like, we are not doing this smallness, We're not doing it. We

are not doing it. We're going to do the best that we can with reminding ourselves that we deserve more. Okay, So that's going to be it for today's episode. It was kind of quick for my episodes. I hope this helped in some way. If you want more advice on anything, let me know, like if you want me to expand

on something. This is definitely a message that I I continuously have to remind myself of and it's very prevalent because also, like I said, with Joe's video, it was very clear that the universe or God or my mom I should say, is sending me signs and being like, hey, reminder, reminder, no more staying small, no more procrastinating, no more getting in your way, no more putting things off and being like, oh, I'm gonna do it when I'm perfect or it just

has to be perfect. Da da take action now, stop responding to the things that you know you don't deserve, and keep it pushing, and you will see it be reflected in your life and it will be better than you can even imagine. Okay, all right, I hope you guys enjoyed it, and I'll see in the next one. Bye.