173. how to navigate DETACHMENT, take back your energy & regain your magnetism ✨

I'm really enjoying putting out an episode. We're getting cozy, we're getting comfy, we are watching or maybe we're listening on a hawk grow walks, whatever the case is, it feels really good to listen to a podcast on a Sunday. So in today's episode, I want to talk about navigating detachment. I want to talk about reclaiming your energy and becoming

more magnetizing. I think the reason why I want to talk about this is because the past few episodes I've been putting out kind of have been focusing on anxious detachment and a lot of overthinking and anxiety and worrying, and I have really seen how that just really dims my personal magnetism in life and the way that I show up when I am anxious, when I am worrying, when I'm second guessing, when I am waiting, And I think that there are periods of life where you go

through where it's like maybe you get triggered by a person, place, or thing or situation in your life, and it brings you into your anxious attachment, or it just brings you into you being a perfectionist or somebody who worries, or something just happened in your life, and then your light just kind of dims. You know, it's just like a natural process sometimes of life. And then you get to a point where you're like you're done with it, maybe you're slowly like getting yourself out of it, and you

enter this new chapter. And the way I like to look at this chapter is a very magnetizing chapter. You're coming out of the depths of the low vibration that you might have been in the second guessing, worrying about things that just at this point we don't need to be worrying about. And I do find when you step into a magnetizing chapter of your life, not only yes, do you magnetize things, people, places, things in your life, but you just get your spark back and you feel better.

So I really just want this episode to remind you that what is most important right now in your life is to be the most magnetic version of you if you want to get the things that you want in your life, and if you just want to be happy and you want to feel better, and you want to be in this good energy moving even into the winter months, especially the winter months, I feel like, ooh, it can take a lot out of us. We definitely have some episodes coming out when it comes to the winter blues

and things, so definitely stay tuned for that. But this episode will be for the ones who feel like you have had your energy on somebody else, or you have a lot of situation really dull your brightness, you're a life, or maybe you have been stripping your own energy from yourself through habits that might not be serving you. What

I want you to remember, and this is something we forget a lot when we are in the depths of being anxious and responding to life. When you choose yourself, the world responds. When you choose yourself, They choose you when you put your focus in your attention on what you want to do in your life. When it comes to your goals and your purpose and your passion and the things that let you up, the world will respond. And I feel like you forget this a lot. When

you are triggered. You feel like you have to overwork to get somebody to love you. You have to output a lot of action sometimes to get the things that you want in your life. And it's not to mean that you never position yourself in places around people you know to get the things that you want in your life.

But I feel like when life is not responding to you, when you're not getting attention, when you are not getting good things in your life, or you feel like you're not a lot of the times, it's because your magnetism is not really strong. You have your energy away from your soul on everything else outside of you. But what really gets you those things that you want in your life, right,

the attention circumstances, the money. That is when you bring your attention back towards yourself, because that's when you can magnetize things into your energy field. There's a few questions that I like to ask myself when I find I'm not really happy with what I'm seeing in my reality. And maybe these are just things that you can think about as you're listening to this episode right now you can journal on them, and one of them is who

has my energy or attention right now? And this will really show you why it is that you're probably not even getting the things that you want in your life. So so let's give an example of maybe a relationship. Are you thinking about somebody all the time twenty four to seven, waiting, wondering, second guessing, who has your attention? Does this person have your attention in the form of you constantly seeping it out to them without them maybe even knowing, or do you have your attention? And what

I mean by do you have your attention? Are you focused on what you need to do in your day to day life When you wake up in the morning, are you thinking about yourself or someone else? Are you thinking about all the things that you don't have, or are you think about all the things that you do have? And I think it's really hard for anxiously attached to people or just worry. What's people who just stress about things in life? You don't have to have an anxious attachment,

I guess, but whatever, I'm just giving some examples. The belief system sometimes that we have is the way I'm going to get the things that I want in my life is to not have my energy on myself and instead outside of myself, to control the situation, to wait for the situation, to wash the situation, to second guess the situation. But that really doesn't allow you to be the most magnetic version of you, whether it is like you attracting somebody in your life or attracting opportunities or money.

Because you're depleting yourself. You are anxious when you wake up, You're waiting around, You're not doing the things that you know you need to do. You're procrastinating, you are starting arguments, you are picking fights, You're looking for things that are gonna turn out to be the wrong. Things like that does not lead you to an abundant life, a very attractive life. So really asking yourself and in this period of your life, who has my energy right now? Is

it with me? Or is it with somebody else? Another thing that I like to think about, and this is something you can think about right now in your season

of life, is what is taking and draining your energy. So yes, this could be in the form of some sort of relationship that you have in your life, or a financial situation that's seeing you out or school things like that, although of course we have a lot of control over where we put our attention if we're just

a little bit more aware of it. But I think about this in terms of to do a self sabotage in a way, like what in your life do you think is impacting you the most when it comes to draining your energy, because that is actually really dimming your light and your magnetism. And I will give a few examples, and we're gonna talk about this in next week's episode of How to Stop Wasting Your Life Away, But two of them for me was doom scrolling and spending a lot of time on like TikTok and just being on

my phone. It just drained my energy and it drained me physically and mentally. And also gardening on the weekends. I'm just gonna say gardening because YouTube but smoking essentially not nicotine, but you guys know, and I am not like a smoker per se, but I would do that

sometimes on the weekend. And although like it is fun and I enjoy it sometimes and I've learned how to have boundaries with it, And again I'm going to talk about that in like next week's episode, I found I was getting to a point where I started to realize, hmm, I think that this is draining me more than it's actually exciting me in any sort of way or like

giving me any sort of fuel. And those are the things that I really knew I needed to work on if I wanted to be more magnetizing, if I wanted to have more things in my life, Because again, when I'm not showing up in the best version of myself, when it comes to my energy and sleep and being positive and having a stable mood throughout the day, that's going to just affect the way that I show up, and that's going to show me the results that I'm

getting in my life. So if I'm not getting the things I want in my life, I got to look at how am I showing up And some of these things will impact how you show up in your life. Another thing that I find really affects my magnetism and

my ability to really see what I want want in my life be reflected is taking inventory of how much I'm observing versus responding. It's inevitable that there's gonna be things in your life that are basically like a storm. And I talked about this actually with my therapist about two weeks ago. So maybe I'll kind of like bring this in in a way because I think it was

really helpful for me to imagine in my head. But there are things in life that happen, things will trigger you, things will feel hard, difficult, they'll be unknowns, they'll be bumps in the road. But to keep your magnetism, to keep you stable. It's kind of crazy for you to expect yourself to respond to the storm and try and fix the weather and try and figure out how you

can stop the storm. And what I have learned and we were talking about this, like I said in therapy, is when the storm inevitably comes, those anxious thoughts, those worries, doubts, those fears, you want to look at yourself as if you are a boat in the sea. And when these things come, when the storm comes, what a sailboat, let's say, is supposed to really do is drop anchor. Okay, drop anchor, because we need to stabilize and we need to weather the storm. We need to stay put and we need

to let the storm pass. We don't need to not drop anchor and let the storm take us wherever it wants to go. And the way I also like to look at this is it's just inevitable that there's gonna be storms. It's inevitable that you'll probably get triggered in a relationship. It's inevitable that you might not know an answer right away, or you might be waiting for results or to hear back, or to be afraid that you're

gonna get a rejection or something in your life. And the thing that's allowed me to be really magnetizing and really happy and present and really attracting the things that I want in my life is to anchor myself down as everything is moving, everything is just you know, working itself out, and how can I do the best with what I have to be able to observe the storm. Of course, if I need to respond in a way in terms of you know, like let's say I am

anxious and like somebody is triggering me whatever. It's not that I have to sit here and not do anything, but how can I take an action that's actually gonna help me versus just responding to the storm as if I'm fighting off the storm, when realistically like, I'm not going to be able to fight off the storm. How can I get curious? How can I maybe reach out

for help? How can I soothe myself? How can I learn to talk to myself and talk through the thing that I'm going through versus just being like, oh my gosh, the world is going to end. I'm not going to get what I want, this person doesn't like me. How do I respond? How do I control the situation? How do I keep working harder and harder and harder to make this thing work? That's really depleting you and your

energy and your magnetism. And when you move out of that place, you typically don't get the things you want in your life, right because look at your actions based out of that. Look at your actions based out of the scarcity. You are depleting yourself. You're overworking, you are sending long paragraphs to people, you are trying to convince people of your worth. You are just stressing yourself out to the point where you're not productive during the day

because you're stressed. These are all things that will affect the way you show up in life. And what will be reflected in your life. Now, if you don't believe in the universe and manifesting and law of assumption and all that kind of stuff, then feel free to kind of disregard. But I feel like most of you guys are a little bit more like that spiritual side, and even if you are religious, I feel like there's a

lot of correlation. But I really do believe that the universe responds to who you show up as, not just what you want. Everyone can say they want money, they want a healthy relationship, they want success, they want all of these things. Everyone wants that, But it's really how we are showing up in this life. Are we working too hard? Are we pushing? Are we forcing? Are we resisting?

Are we stressing more than we need to? And it's a journey to slowly work yourself out of this fight or flight, And you guys are on this journey right now. And my episodes are the things that kind of like help with that. But it is so important that you continue to your mind yourself that the way you show up matters. The way you show up matters in your life.

And so are you going to be that sailboat that's going to drop anchor on the days that the storm is coming because it's inevitable, or are you going to be somebody who lets the storm just take you wherever you want? And are you going to work hard and try and stop the storm When you can actually just come to center. You will find yourself being more resilient. You will find a lot more peace and serenity and anchoring yourself down on the days that things are chaotic

or confusing or you don't know. And honestly, it's gotten me so many beautiful outcomes in my life when I drop that anchor and I slow it down and I observe, and I don't let life take me on this insane rollercoaster.

So a few other things that I feel like really impact your magnetism and take your energy away from yourself is your attachment to things and everything I just talked about essentially, that is you attaching to things outside of you. But something that is good to explore is the mindset that you have in terms of scarcity, because that's kind

of what a lot of those things are. Right. It's like, if something is happening that I don't want, or if somebody's not giving me attention or if I'm not seeing the results that I really am hoping for right now, then it means I'm not getting what I want, Or then it means there's not enough to go around. Then it means something negative. And when you have a mindset like that of there's just not enough to go around, if I don't get it now, then I'm never gonna

get it. You will show up differently in your life and you will create more problems than you need. So when something's happening in my life that is gonna call for me to either decide to be in scarcity or not. I really like to remind myself even if something is not going the way that I want right now, or it doesn't seem like there's a lot of resources, or it doesn't feel like I'm gonna get what I want, this is always bringing me just closer to what I want.

If not this, then something better. It is a win win scenario, even if I do not fully see that win right now, because naturally you're a human being. If the storm comes and you don't get the results you want, yeah, it's gonna hurt you know. Maybe you need to like feel your feelings. It's gonna just be a little bit crappy. You can flow through those emotions, you can be a human being, but at the the end of that, you want to always look for that light. You always want

to remind yourself listen. I don't even need to know the answer or how this is going to happen, but I'm going to get what I want. This is bringing me exactly where I need to go. This is giving me such good information about what I do want or what I don't want. And I am no longer going to keep trying to hold on to something that clearly, for whatever reason, is not necessarily like coming in full fruition in my life right now doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. But I am not going to

keep pushing against things. And why am I not going to do that? Because it depletes me. It doesn't allow me to show up as the highest version of me when I am trying to force things, you know, like even when it comes to a relationship, like forcing a relationship or you know, forcing commitment or getting somebody to just like do exactly what you want exactly when you need it. Timelines this that it's not to say that you can't have standard you can't have the things that

you want in your life. But there's this ease and this release that you really do need to have with so many things in your life. It is a balance. It is a art essentially of releasing and detaching, but on the flip side, still telling yourself like you are gonna get what you want. You can get what you want.

And this definitely comes back to like childhood beliefs and limiting beliefs, right scarcity mindset of you know, maybe you grew up never actually having enough that was me or we can only get a certain amount, so just take it and don't ask questions and just take what you can get and don't second guess it, and you know,

don't complain about it. This that. So, of course it's good to take a deeper look maybe at some of those limiting beliefs, because your beliefs really do dictate how you're showing up in the world. Right, If you believe you can't have the things that you want in your life, you will see that reflect based off of your actions. Now, I actually have a digital journal guide and I'll have

it linked down below all about the abundance mindset. So I would definitely check that out if you need some journal prompts and shadow work journal prompts to help you with uncovering some of those limiting beliefs when it comes to abundance and scarcity and seeing how these things play out in your life. And I also have a heal To manifest guide as well, along with an Inner Child

Discovery Journal problem, so it will also be down below. Also, I have opened my November slots for one on one session, so if you're interested in booking a session with me, information will be down below. I haven't said that in a while on the podcast because I've had so many things going on in different clients that I've been working with, but some time slots have opened for November and you

can keep checking it and book with me whenever. Now, let's quickly discuss attaching to specific outcomes, timelines and expectations. I think this genuinely depletes your soul. It really takes away your magnetism, It takes away your happiness, It takes

away so much from your life. And I understand the need for needing to know answers and having expectations and stand from people, places and things, and having goals and having timelines those are all beautiful things to have, But when you start to become so obsessed with how the relationship needs to play out, or how specifically this person needs to show up in your life, or how specifically the money has to come in, or how specifically you are going to be successful, it really creates a lot

of restraint on you and your energy field and the way you show up in life. So I would think about a situation right now that's happening in your life where you can clearly see that you are very tied to a specific outcome, like this thing needs to happen this way and if not, then it's just going to be a storm and I'm not going to be able

to deal with it. I want you to play with the idea, even in your mind, of what life would look like if that thing didn't work out the exact way that you wanted but better or I would even invite you to play with the idea of it not working out and then what And I think this is just a really good practice for you to rewire your brain with in a way, is like first allowing yourself to have a few other options of how this could play out even better than you expected, because a lot

of the times we block our own blessings because we say it needs to be a certain way or this amount of money or this specific person. Well what if there's a better alternative and you don't even need to know that alternative, But I would invite you to explore that and use your imagination and give yourself a little bit of room to be able to have more in your life, because you are very restricting when you have this attachment to exactly the way that it needs to go.

But on the flip side, and this is what I like to do sometimes as well, to really release the attachment that I have on people, places, and like things in my life is practicing being a little bit more fearless and being like, Okay, you know what, if this person doesn't end up being the one, if this person doesn't show up this way the way that I really want, I will be okay. I will literally live. I will

do X, Y and Z if this thing's happen. So obviously depends on the circumstance, you know, like maybe i'll course correct or maybe if it has something to do with school, like okay, if I don't get into this program, then I have a plan B you have a plan

c Like I have myself. Stop giving these circumstances or these people so much power if you really think about it, right, Like you're stressing over if somebody is gonna like ask you to go on a date, and yes, you really want that, and that's totally fine that you want that, but like, are you really going to strip yourself from all the joy in the present moment and stress yourself out of this waiting energy and this anxious energy and being like, oh my god, Like what am I gonna

do if this person doesn't like ask me out? Or like what's that going to mean for my future? Like you're really gonna do all of that and you're gonna give this one little thing so much power. That's ridiculous, and quite frankly, you tend to not attract a lot of things when you are in this energy. There's something about the way that you universe works that it picks up on your energy. Okay, you don't even need to speak it out, you don't even need to act it out.

Things just respond to how you are showing up in life. And honestly, like if you're sitting around waiting for somebody to choose you waiting for something to be given to you. This that you will be sometimes in the wrong places the wrong time. You won't be like on your shit, like on your habits really good mindset, really good mood, and you tend to just attract from that. Like I said, so, really just thinking about is there any room for you

to release what you think needs to happen? And it's not from this place of giving up anything you want, but inviting room for things to be different and allowing the universe to do what it does best, which is to align everything the way that it needs. To remind yourself you do not need to work as hard as you think for love. You do not need to work as hard as you think you do for money. And this is real. I get it. The working hard, especially

for money thing. It's not that you just sit around and oh my gosh, let me manifest then, like the money's just going to come. But you do know when you are forcing a lot of things, when you are stressing over things you can literally not change. Right, So, how can you ease into the moment that is right now, which is all you have in your life? How can you find a little bit more joy and gratitude for the things that you do have. And let's think it

back to relationships. Okay, what is going good in your relationships right now? If you're in a dating phase right now, can you list three things that you're actually happy with or are you're going to continue to list all the things that make you anxious and the things that you're second guessing? And will this person show up this way or this person didn't do this already and that means this, that and the third. This is not about being delusional,

but can we practice some gratitude? Can we see the light? Can we see how things are actually working out in our lives right now? There are so many things that we can be grateful for. I think about my health right now. I'm going through a flare up. I don't even know if I really mentioned this too much on

the podcast, but I'm going through a flare up. I have IBD for those who don't know, and I am just basking in the fact that I am here right now and alive, and I can get up and I can move my body to the extent that I can move it at that I have really good doctors, and I have different practices that will support my nervous system and really help me reduce inflammation, everything, all of it. I'm grateful. Does this mean that that takes away the

fact that I just have IBD. No, that didn't take away the fact that I'm currently going through a flare up. But that's not my end goal. I don't need that to change right now. I just want to experience the lighter side of sometimes the darkness. And I find when I drop more into that lighter side, that gratitude, the lessings that I have in my current life. That changes my energy field, That changes my mood, That changes the actions that I take. It changes the way that I

show up in my relationships. And when you show up a certain way in life, the universe will respond. When you are in a better mood, when you are positive, when you are optimistic, when you are not stress all the time, when you're not trying to control people in situations, you will find situations, people, money, things come to you a lot easier. Now. I found this quote on Instagram

and it says, your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So relax, coming back to anchoring yourself on the days where you just don't know, you don't know how things are going to turn out. You are getting a little bit anxious, you are worried. Money's tight, things aren't working out. It's okay not to know. It's okay to have to stop in your tracks right now and be like, you know what, let me just soothe myself, Let me just anchor myself. Let me understand that I

might not know the answer right now, and that is okay. Hey, let me not strip myself of the beautiful future that I have by telling myself I'm not gonna get what I want just because I don't see it happening right

now now. To add on to that, I saw a TikTok where somebody was talking about how the opposite of dealing with anxiety is not necessarily always just being calm and relaxing, and what they were talking about, and I totally understand this is sometimes when you are anxious or like things are happening or there's a storm happening, it's not that you just need to sit around and like pretend it doesn't exist and just meditate your day away.

But what actually can help you with anxiety or the situation at hand is taking a little bit more aligned action and doing something getting up and moving. Okay, But this is different than you trying to get up when you see the storm and controlling the storm right, controlling the person, chasing the person, stressing out because you don't have money, No, take your energy back from the situation. But you don't have to sit here and just wait for it to go away. There's things you can do

on this sailboat, right Okay. How can I pour into myself? How can I get onto a better sleep routine. How can I connect with people who are gonna fuel me instead of deplete me. How can I work on my goals, my aspirations, my purpose in life. There's so many things that you can work on right now that's not in the form of just hoping and wishing and praying that anxiety is just going to go away on its own. But what can you do in this present moment as

the anxiety aka the storm passes Now? Like I said next week's episode, I do want to talk about how to stop wasting your life away because I feel like these moments where we get swept up with the storms and we lose our magnetism, A lot of that has to do with the way that we are depleting our own energy and really just letting things even deplete us and wasting so much time and energy that could be poured into ourselves so that we can get more in

our lives. And so so I want to talk about some of those bad habits that we can do a little bit better when it comes to kicking for the winter, and some of the processes that I have learned over many periods of self sabotage and getting into like toxic habits and stuff, and hopes to help you guys. So definitely stay tuned for that episode. If you're watching on YouTube, you can subscribe and then you'll obviously see my episodes.

If you're listening on Spotify or Apple, just make sure that you're following the podcast, which you guys probably are, and if you haven't left a review on the podcast audio version, I would be so grateful if you could even just doing a five star review. You do not have to even leave a comment if you don't, although I read them and they're beautiful and you guys are amazing. That just really helps this podcast get out to more people.

And I really thrive off of knowing that you guys are showing up and listening to the podcast and doing the work and working on your mindsets and showing up like it just really reflects back to me as well, and it motivates me to do better, and I feel we probably really need that moving into the winter months. I think the winter is going to be really great for all of us in so many different ways. But

that would be really helpful. And of course you can leave on the YouTube comment section any other things that you want me to dive deep in. There will be lots of episodes to come. Like I said, the digital guides and even if you want to book a session with me will all be linked in the descriptions. You can find everything down below. I hope you guys really enjoyed this episode and I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye.