157. you are not broken, you just need to respond differently.

Hi everyone, and welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand your mind and become more self awares that you can glow up into the best version of yourself. Hello, how are we doing? And Hi to some of the new subscribers on the YouTube because if you are currently listening on audio or Spotify, you won't know, but one of my videos for this channel

got a lot more views than it usually does, so that's great. That was basically in the plan when I was telling you guys about how I wanted to start posting when I felt aligned, So I'm not surprised that that video did that. That's usually what happens with some of my main channel videos. I usually find that there's a lot of potent alignment before a video will go more viral than most of the other ones. So the title of this episode

is you are not broken, you just need to respond differently. So the other day I was thinking, as I always do, because that's that's what I do. I think a lot of things all the time, and I come to lots of conclusions, and I was listening to actually listening to Tate McRae. I freaking love her, and she was just she sings a lot about her ex boyfriend, honestly, about him not being loyal and just cheating

and things like that or just like relationship issues. And I was sitting there and I was thinking about the fact that, like, damn, like everyone is going through something, even celebrities, if you listen to their music, and I know, like some of these songs are maybe written for them this that, but I don't know. I'm pretty connected with Tate's music, and I followed her like genuinely, a lot of her songs are definitely about her ex boyfriend. Like she's a small town girl and she dated I think he

was a hockey player and whatever. Like it's very authentic, you can definitely tell. But I was thinking about how, you know, again the celebrities, everyone is fighting something, everyone to get out of a cycle. Everyone has some sort of trauma, everyone has some sort of demon And the reason why I was thinking this is important to think about is that when we are on a healing journey, we have this idea of how we need to be. We look at ourselves like we are broken and we need to heal,

but how do we even know what that even looks like? If everyone is fighting a demon like nobody is perfect, even the people that you look at are like online or celebrities. Like I said, everyone is battling something, So what are you even aiming for? How do we get out of these cycles? And something that's very prevalent in my life that I'm seeing is I need to respond differently in order to get a new result in my life.

Which we know this, but realistically, if you want to break a pattern or you don't want to be broken anymore, and we can talk about the fact that no one's really perfect, you're gonna need to respond differently. But then that got me thinking about this, why don't we just respond differently? If we want a new result, we will respond differently. We will break the pattern, we will stop the cycle, we will fight the demon. Well, I think what gets in your way of actually doing that is the

mere fact that you look at yourself like you are broken. When your life is calling you to respond differently, it's ten times harder for you to not only respond, but to keep that response until you get a new result in your life. When you are constantly looking at yourself like you are broken. When you are constantly telling yourself that you are broken, it feels like this mountain that you have to climb every single day, and it's no wonder you

don't end up doing it. It's no wonder why you keep going into these self sabotaging behaviors. It's no wonder. As soon as you have anything on your calendar where you're telling yourself you have to improve your life and you have to do X, Y and Z and you're going to be different and you have to cut out these things that you end up falling back into a cycle.

Because the mere fact of you telling yourself that you need to change, the energy that you're coming at yourself with is you are broken, and you're not going to be good enough until you are fixed. You have to fix something about yourself. It's not about ridding that bad habit or the fact that you're in a cycle or there's something wrong with you away completely like healing it

completely. Or it's like, oh, I have this wound from childhood and this needs to be healed completely before I change my life, or this is the reason why things keep happening. It's not even about that. It's not about ridding yourself until you are perfect, because that doesn't even exist. It

literally, it does not exist. Where true healing and change actually comes from is you adapting and you leading into your deepest wounds and your patterns in your cycles versus leaning out from it. When you're leaning out from these things, you're separating things from yourself, and you're saying like, I am not whole. I have this thing that is not good, it's bad, it's wrong. I have to fix it. Until then, I'm not going to be

happy. Until then, people won't love me. Until then something there's going to to be something, And that is what's constantly keeping you in this cycle. Now. I have been really obsessed with the song called Angel Numbers Slash. I think it's ten Toes by Chris Brown. And if you have not listened to that song, I feel if you're resonating with this message, that you will feel a connection of that song to this energy of this podcast episode

and probably the phase of your life that you're in right now. Maybe I don't know. I just feel like very called that song, and I feel like I pick up songs in my life that are fully the soundtrack of the current energy or the current thing that I am learning or deepening within myself,

and I feel like that is kind of the song. But anyways, in that song, he says a lot that he needs healing energy, and I really want you to understand that healing energy is not fixing energy, and that is what you're going to need to do in your life if you want different outcomes in your life, if you want to feel better, if you want to get out of these cycles. The thing that I can tell you actually changed me was when I started to learn how to give myself healing, loving

energy versus braiding myself into trying to change and hating myself into change. It never worked. And usually that happens at the end of you going through so many cycles because you're so fed up with trying, and you see how habits or mindsets or whatever clearly just they're not going to be the things that serve

you, and you tend to sometimes break down and hopefully rise up. And every time that I've risen up in my life, it's been from this loving energy of radical self acceptance and self love and just realizing that the way that I am going to start to love myself again, whether it's my body, my face, my lifestyle, my self, content, my confidence, whatever. It really seems to only work when I actually stop berating myself and when

I'm not rebrating myself. That really just means I'm accepting the fact that I'm not a perfect human being. I'm accepting that I had a messy day instead of saying, oh my god, I ruined it. I ruined it. I ruined it once again, over and over berating myself and just like going into that cycle that doesn't work. And so I had to get to a point where I was like, you know what, I have to be okay with not being perfect today. I literally can't not like I've tried the opposite

way and it literally doesn't work. So as much as it hurts me, as much as it makes me feel uncomfortable, as much as I don't want to, because it means that I'm not gonna whatever I was making, it mean I have to be okay with not being perfect today. I have to let people see a side of me that I don't really want them to see, because I know that that's going to allow me to actually build a relationship with them. I have to be vulnerable. I can't keep responding to the

things in my life the same way, it literally doesn't work. And the key message that I had, the mindset that I had going through those times, was having to tell myself, you are not broken, Alicia. You're not broken. You're not broken because you are not showing up one hundred percent today like you are fine, you are accepted, you are loved. You were these things I had to learn how to tell myself, and that's how I was able to actually respond differently. If a relationship is calling you to

communicate, aka for you to show up differently, respond differently. If that's what you know your relationship is going to need for it to actually go deeper, Like logically you know that, then you're going to need to respond differently. But the only way that you're going to actually allow yourself to respond differently is if you don't look at yourself like you are broken or you are wrong, or you have to be perfect in order to respond differently, because then

you won't do it. You have to be okay with the fact that, Okay, this thing is calling me to communicate in a new way and I have no idea how to do it, and I'm scared and this feels cringey, But you know what, I am not broken because I'm showing up in a non perfect way. Quite frankly, I'm allowed to be like this. I am broken, And that's how you get new results in your life,

obviously, because you've responded in a new way. So think about some of the things in your current life that are requiring you to respond differently, and see how you are actually getting in your way of doing that. See how the internal dialogue that you have about how not perfect you are, or how broken you are if you don't do it right, or whatever story that you have going on, see how that is the thing that is getting in your

way of being able to respond differently. And I have lived many days of my life feeling depressed, feeling broken, feeling like I have to fix something about myself. Until I have this, then I won't be that. And the life that I created from that place was a life of constant resistance. And you know when you feel resistance in your life, You know when you feel not good. You know when it feels like an uphill battle every day.

But a lot of that feeling, a lot of that you not wanting and you dreading, and you whatever is coming from how you're perceiving your situation in your life and how you're looking at yourself right now in this moment. So doing your best to stop looking at yourself like you are broken, that you need to be fixed, that things are wrong until you change or this

that will really help you be able to respond differently in your life. When you feel more ease in your life because you're waking up every day being like, you know what, life is imperfect and that's okay. I don't have to be one hundred things to one hundred people. I don't have to say the perfect thing. I don't have to do the perfect thing and the perfect

step and feel the same way every single day. When you move through life like that, you will feel so much more motivated to take care of yourself and to love yourself and to communicate and to go for your dreams because there's not all of this weight. There's not this like constant resistance every single day, Like no wonder, you don't have motivation towards the things that you keep saying that you want to do. No wonder, you don't show up in

the ways that you know you need to show up in your relationships. When you have constant resistance when everything feels so hard in your life, but you are the one that's making it like that. You are thinking like that every single day. So doing your best to look at your life like it doesn't need to be as hard as I'm making it be. Right now, I am not broken. I just have patterns in my life that I need to learn how to adapt and be with. And everyone's going to be different,

Okay. I have unique cycles that I run through based off of my childhood trauma, based off of where I'm currently living, the age that I'm at, the self concept that I have, all of the memories, all of the things, everything that I'm interested in, every single thing. Okay, So I have this unique story that I'm currently living out, and it's not about ridding all of these things, right, It's about tuning into them and being like, Okay, what is my pattern here? What am I doing?

Why am I living this out? How can I adapt? How can I support myself through this? What do I need to go deeper in? How do I need to communicate that is going to work for me? Who do I need to surround myself with the moment? When is too much work? When is not enough work? What are my interests. Why do I think the way that I do on certain days of the month and some days that I don't, And what can I do to support myself on those days? What can I do to instead of berate myself the way that I always

have? How do I know myself deeper? How do I stop asking and searching for answers outside of me, and how do I start cultivating them within myself? And everyone's going to be different. For me, having a general practice in the morning and getting very clear with my thoughts and writing out things has always been like a place of therapy for me. Same with speaking.

This is literally what I do for a living because I know that is like it is so visceral to me, and that's how I communicate into the world, and that's how I do it. But you know, I'll kind of give you like a side example of what I mean by like, don't keep asking other people what is good for you? Is because podcasting works for me, Okay, coming on the camera works for me, and speaking out all the things that I feel like deeply about works for me on this platform.

Some people would tell me that I need to like be a therapist or I need to do it this way or I need to like so many things, and it doesn't even mean that that might not be an option for me. Like I'm always open to everything, but what feels the best to me, but feels the most aligned to me, what I know where I don't have resistance too in my current reality right now, this moment is doing a YouTube video or doing a podcast episode. So I'm going to go in that direction.

And when you truly go for the things that you want in your life, it will feel good and most likely you'll probably even be successful at it. And we can even see the same thing when it comes to movement. When you are working out and doing workouts that you enjoy, do you not just do it more versus you telling yourself that you need to do it because this person over here told you need to do it like that. And I

even think about this. When it comes to hot girl walking, I call it hot girl walking, but it's essentially just going outside for a walk.

I never liked walking. I never liked really exercising too much. I was really into like weightlifting and stuff, obviously, like when I got into college and I wanted to change my body that and like that felt really hard, but there is an aspect of weightlifting that I still really really love, but I never really moved my body a lot because I was like following what everyone else is doing, and also I cared a lot about the end result.

But when I got into my later years, like there was just something so like visceral about walking that made me feel so good. But even as I started walking, in my head, the programming that I had is, oh, well, walking is not going to be the thing that's going to get you fit, and you know it's not going to give you the result that

you want, or whatever the case is. But I also learned over the years that if I continue to walk all the time and I move my body all the time out of a place of non resistance, of course I'm going to get more results. And I don't even mean physically, and of course yeah physically, but also mentally. And there's so much clarity that comes out of walking for me. And I never used to be like that, but I had to be the one to follow something that felt good in my life

versus doing whatever I thought that I needed to do on paper. So when it comes to responding differently in my life, when I am presented with the

same thing in different colors, because that's what happens in our lives. I'm gonna respond in a way that feels the best to me and what is true to me and what is the most loving thing that I can do for myself, regardless if what I've been programmed with is telling me that, oh, I shouldn't do it like that, or no, that's not how you communicate, or know you should work out like this, or you should follow this

thing, and this is the practice. This is hard, And I'll even bring it back to what I just said at the beginning of this episode, and for the ogs, the people who have been listening to me, you know how I've been talking about how I create podcasts, and I speak from these places when I'm in the most alignment that I can be in, and not every single day I'm like super aligned, Like I talk about it a lot, but like you just know when you're feeling good and you're interested in

doing something when you're not, okay, So I try to create out of that, and so that has led me to change my uploading schedule basically to just record and film whenever, because if I don't, then there be comes a lot of resistance to episodes, and I don't want that to be the way that I create. But I still had some anxiety. I definitely still had the not trusting that this is the right decision and like being afraid to do it because that meant change. But I knew deep down this is what

I need, even though I might be afraid right now. And so in my life, I really just try to respond in those ways as much as I possibly can, even if I have a little bit of fear, and I just remind myself that what is the most important is to be true to me, and as long as I'm true to myself, I will get the results that I want in my life, even if I don't see it right at the beginning, because that's sometimes what happens when you follow your intuition or

your gut, because I feel like sometimes you manifest that in a way, but if you don't believe in that, that's fine whatever. I think that regardless, sometimes things take time. So like trusting yourself, it could be like you're scared because you don't know. It's literally the unknown, like you don't even have any evidence, but it's like that, of course is the way to go of course it's the way to go because you've tried to do

it the other ways and look at where it gets you. So I want you to just maybe think about some of the things in the way that you've been responding in your life, really trying to tap into your intuition that knows the next step for you. You know the next step, you know what

you need to do and how you need to do it. So in my life right now, I feel like that's the phase that I'm experiencing, is going deeper and trusting my intuition and going towards what feels good, even when I have that mental chatter that says, no, you shouldn't do like this, you should do it by the book or whatever, and just reminding myself like that mental chatter, it's just things that are trying to keep me stuck, trying to keep me in that cycle. And at the end of the

day, you're gonna be fine. But I do think if you are really wanting those new results in your life, which I feel like we are always sitting here like waiting for that next thing, especially when things are like brewing in your life right now, there's things happening, it's calling you to go

deeper. It's so important that you respond differently, like you have to respond differently, which is gonna call you to have this healing energy, this love for yourself, this following what feels good, this practice of tapping into your intuition, throwing out this identity of that you are broken and instead looking at yourself like you are going through the process right now, you are learning some insane things about yourself. And really what I'm saying is ground yourself and your

nervous system into this energy of healing, because this is the thing. If you can really embody yourself and like be in this present moment and take things for what they are as like day by day and you know, go for what feels good and give yourself time and just love yourself through this process right

now, that is the definition of actually healing your nervous system. When you are experiencing something, when you're experiencing life in a new way, by you responding in a new way, by you no longer like talking to yourself like shit or you like for today, you decided to go follow what you wanted instead of telling yourself to do whatever is on your to do list, your nervous system is experiencing something different. Okay, your nervous system is literally encoding

these literal downloads, this actual feeling of rest and digest of calm. And when you do that over and over and over and over again, you're going to be able to show up in your life differently. You are no longer

operating out of all of this deep trauma. And it doesn't even mean that you fully rid yourself of all of these things whatever, but you will start to feel differently because you're really grounding yourself into something that is real, because you're taking your time through this process, because you're looking at yourself like, I'm not broken. I'm going to experience this period of my life right now. I'm going to feel into it. I'm going to let my emotions out,

I'm going to cry. I'm going to connect to my intuition. I'm going to journal every single morning. I'm going to follow what feels good on a moment to moment basis. I am going to communicate with people in a new way which is going to allow my nervous system to feel differently, going to keep showing up for myself even on the days that things don't feel the best. When you continue to do that, you will start to change, You will be able to respond differently, you will start to magnetize things in

your life that are so completely different. And that is what I'm doing currently in my life, and I am taking things very slow. So maybe this is just another reminder. When you find that you're transitioning in your life right now with something, take it so slow because you want your nervous system to

encode that. You want your nervous system to get used to that feeling, so that when you continue to move on in your life, you have built something, you have normalized a feeling of I am here, I am safe, I am not broken, I am experiencing life. And I think some of the things that help me in my life is to really get my senses like moving and going and flowing. So for me, like I'm really when it comes to my habits in my life, I'm really trying to cycle through

things that you know, get my senses like moving and flowing. I guess. So I'll give you kind of a few examples and they're very simple, but like going out on walks, on long walks, like getting out into nature every single day is really really big for me. And moving my body. Like you need to be moving your body. You don't have to do your walks, but like, what are you doing, like workout classes, pilates, yoga, whatever it is, go in the direction. I'm doing

a lot of yoga right now. I also have a new gym membership, which I even just think when it comes to weight training, it's changing a lot for me. But regardless, I'm moving my body all the time. I'm taking time to disconnect from social media and from the world and from my thoughts and from ideas and from things. I'm doing my best to do that, and I'm putting my time and my attention into my vision, which is

my podcast, which is my work. So for you maybe you have a different vision, but really disconnecting and going into something and just like being present. Also, boundaries are a really big thing. I'm really trying to in the most beautiful way hold boundaries and really not go into cycles of you know,

lou using myself in social situations and exerting myself too much. So really saying no to things that are not serving me, or when I know it's too much for me, I'm not gonna go out that night, or I'm not gonna go out this weekend, or I can't go to this event whatever. Even when it comes to content, like really having boundaries with things,

people, places, things are really huge around this time. Like I've been saying, I like to follow what feels good, because I feel like when you're following what feels good, usually you have some sort of sense that's on. For me, it's always speaking out of a place of alignment for me because I literally feel like, you know, like I'm I'm speaking, I'm using my voice and journaling as well, like getting my thoughts out there.

Also listening to a lot of spiritual stuff. Right now, I'm in my Abraham Hicks Morning videos again, which just as soon as I wake up, I just play one of them and I kind of get a little bit aligned, and then I go and I journal. But maybe for you, you're listening to some sort of YouTuber probably maybe even me. I know a lot of you guys will say that, But whoever it is that really gets your mind right day in and day out, just saturating your mind and just being

with yourself and cultivating a practice in the morning even at nights. For me, I really love to listen to music. I like to spend time like listening to music and just dancing and just doing what feels the best to me,

having conversations with people that feel the best to me. Really just dropping this this masculine energy of this protection and this have to do it a certain way and I have to survive and just really honestly like yeah, like embracing some more feminine energy and just going in the direction of what feels good essentially, and that's going to look different for everyone. I think even like being

vulnerable in your relationships can be really huge. And I think, I don't know, maybe this is an off topic or like a different type of topic, but you know, being somebody who is very independent and realize on ourself, a lot of you guys totally relate with me. It's hard to open

up or trust people, even in your romantic relationships. I feel like sometimes we're waiting for this perfect pitch, are perfect relationship, or this person needs to show up exactly like this before I'm going to open up to them or whatever, or sometimes we're hyper focusing on someone's behavior when realistically we just need to relax for a second and maybe potentially even let them in and also express what you're feeling. And again that's to each their own, but you know,

maybe just like thinking about letting your guard down a little bit. Of course, you want to have your boundaries with people, and you have to

discern who we're even talking about. But you know what I mean, I think that sometimes the way that we are really going to experience that love, in that connection and the things that we're longing for is if we actually take that step forward and let that guard down a little bit, Because how else, how else are you going to build a beautiful, deep relationship with someone when you are not willing to open up, when you are waiting for all

the right pieces of the puzzle to be perfectly aligned for you to be able to do that. That's not even how it works. So take your time with things in your life when you are trying to really cultivate something new. And I think that's all I'm going to say. Honestly, I didn't even really plan on making this episode. I just was thinking about the fact that, yeah, you know what, on one hand, we're all broken.

So catch yourself when you're thinking that you're trying to like ascend to be this person that's not broken, because like, really like, we have no actual example of that in life anyways, because everyone is dealing with something and instead, it's really about learning how to move with yourself and your trauma and your cycles and what you need uniquely, and how to support yourself and reparent yourself

and love yourself through that process. And actually I wrote a lot about that in my book, The Ultimate Globe Guide, and if you're interested in my book, i'll have it linked down below. Really just being there with yourself and giving yourself that healing, loving energy. Stop judging yourself, stop criticizing yourself, stop looking at yourself like you're broken, and that is going to bring you a long way when it comes to responding differently to new things in

your life, which is gonna be required. If you want new things in your life, you gotta respond differently, right, But if you stop looking at yourself like you're such a broken person, you'll be able to be able to find the perfect way to respond differently that works for you. So I hope you guys enjoyed. Don't forget to subscribe if you are watching on YouTube, and if you're new or you're watching on YouTube, if you want to listen on your hat girl walk or whatever you want. You can find me

on Spotify and Apple and wherever you get your podcasts. And I'll see you guys and the next one. Bye.