June 25 marks the advent of two incredibly important inventions in the history of civilization ; June 25 1630 saw the introduction of the fork, while June 25, 1867 was day barbed wire was patented. Today’s program considers how our history might’ve changed had these dates been reversed ; nearly 250 years could’ve elapsed with nothing being eaten except soup. Conversely, barbed-wire death matches (electrified and otherwise) could’ve begun much, much earlier. Of course, these were hundreds of year...
Jun 25, 2025•2 hr•Season 6Ep. 5
as this NBA season draws to a close, this week's program celebrates (belatedly) the 22nd anniversary of a troubled Calvin Klein accosting Latrell Sprewell in the middle of a Raptors/Knicks game. These days if you want to be led away in handcuffs, all you have to do is ask some reasonable questions at a press conference. In (slightly) less authoritarian times, however, far more effort was required. You had to purchase a court side seat at MSG and then risk strangulation at the hands of Latrell Sp...
Jun 18, 2025•2 hr•Season 6Ep. 4
my planned day and a half to do a comprehensive social media cull keeps getting put off which is a shame, because I end up seeing posts from respected members of the underground music world (ok, Don Walsh) alleging Los Angeles anti-ICE protesters are in fact, paid agitators getting rich from the generosity of someone named George Sore Eros. Putting aside for a moment the disconnect of the current regime’s (laughable) promises to wipe out antisemitism while engaging in the most basic, pathetic an...
Jun 11, 2025•2 hr•Season 6Ep. 3
for this week's episode, I pay tribute to the late Colin Jerwood in the most respectful, appropriate manner possible --- by updating his look for 2025. OK, it was really JJ Ruiz' idea, and much like Jerwrood's original shirt, the best ideas are always subject to revision (except for mine -- and I'll let you know if I ever have a good idea). Jerwood's original "Only Stupid Bastards Help EMI" tee is available from DC's Joint Custody for a modest sum and if you'd like to amend it in whatever way yo...
Jun 04, 2025•2 hr•Season 6Ep. 2
when this program began 5 years ago, America, nah , the world was in the midst of near-universal harmony, health and prosperity. It would be the height of exaggeration to say the global events that followed were in any way influenced or informed by the launch of this radio program, but really, it's ok with me if only 3 or 4 of you are willing to say it out loud. It's been my privilege to bring you two hours of music (that feel like 3 or 4) every week and while contemplating the next 5 years fill...
May 28, 2025•2 hr•Season 6Ep. 1
if this were a real call-in show, an all-too obvious topic for discussion might be "who is the worst live band you've ever seen?" I mean, for there are some all-too obvious candidates (Sump, Juliette Lewis & The Licks, Quiet Company, Ween) however what does it mean if you never thought the band in question was any good to begin with? How can you properly measure a performance if you’re already disinclined to like the material or the performers? so maybe the real worst show you’ve ever seen i...
May 21, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 51
While the New York Knicks are on the precipice of reaching the Eastern Conference Finals, said development neatly coincides with Erik and Lyle Menendez (shown above sitting courtside at a 1990 Knicks game) being eligible for parole, there is the likelihood, however slim, the convicted parent-slayers might actually be front and center when Jalen Brunson, Karl-Anthony Townes et al capture New York's first NBA Championship in 52 years. Of course, this would require someone else being supplanted fro...
May 14, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 50
I really hate the expression "there's so much to unpack" but regarding Celtic Frost's open solicitation for auditioning drummers, THERE'S SO MUCH TO UNPACK. "MUST BE WILLING TO LIVE IN SWITZERLAND". "MUST BE WILLING TO TURN A BLIND EYE TO ASSAULTING SOMEONE IN A MOTLEY CRUE TEE". "WE HAVE A STRONG IMAGE" (yeah, we've seen the back cover to 'Cold Lake'). We can spend all day getting bogged down in whether or not there's a contradiction between coveting a drummer who is "wild" but also expecting o...
May 07, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 49
while preparing this week’s sbow, like many of you, I could not help but reflect on Shedeur Sanders’ precipitous free-fall thru the NFL Draft, with the projected early-round pick sliding thru rounds 1-5, then doing a complete nose dive thru the UFL Draft before finally being selected in 3rd round of the 2025 Arena Football League draft. Despite Sanders’ humiliation, this is an impressive achievement just the same given the AFL has been defunct since 2019. But Sanders’ difficult weekend brought t...
Apr 30, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 48
good morning dear friends much as been written this week about the passing of Pope Francis, in particular the unfortunate timing that saw his Holiness meeting with J.D. Vance just hours before expiring. It is probably the height of exaggeration to claim Vance’s was the last face Pope Francis saw, however it does poses the question, if you were near death, whose face would you like to be the last one you laid eyes upon before transitioning to the great beyond? I’ve thought about this long and har...
Apr 23, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 47
much has been written /meme’d over the past 48 hours about the successful efforts to send Katy Perry into outer space (and yes, she has returned safely, so you can all exhale, finally) and to some degree I can understand the public’s frustration. I’ve been petitioning FOR YEARS to send other performers to into outer space (not necessarily with a return ticket, it depends) and have received no response whatsoever from any of these private space travel firms. We’re never gonna know, for instance, ...
Apr 16, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 46
it seems there’s a bit of a problem in that during the show from two weeks ago we had to ban someone from the EVR chat room for posting “White Lotus” spoilers. Then last week, we had to ban someone from posting “JAG” spoilers (here’s one - did you know that “JAG” is an acronym for “Judge Advocate General”?). I realize this seems like a slippery slope but if you want unfettered, free expression, maybe there’s another chat room for you on the dark web (hopefully one entirely devoted to “JAG” spoil...
Apr 09, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 46
it's been a tough week already. Hello torpedo bats -- wouldn't everyone be happier if they were torpedo cats? Goodbye Val Kilmer, thanks for "Top Secret" (and perhaps to a lesser extent for driving not one, but 2 successive directors to distraction on "The Island Of Dr. Moreau"). Hello plans for a 2nd Sully From Godsmack autobiography (clearly the world's paper shortage resulted in vol. 1 being less than fully realized). In the midst of all this turbulence --- cultural, political,, etc., there i...
Apr 02, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 45
given the show is a little long in the tooth, I thought it might be fun this to replay an older episode, perhaps one from the year 1925. The part that makes it confusing is that even 100 years ago i was a particularly well-versed time traveler (you’ve heard of Dr. Who? Well, now you’ve met Dr. What The Fuck). This week’s broadcast of a show from 1925 sounds unusually contemporary because I’d zapped myself into 2025 to pick out the repertoire. Needless to say, all of this century hopping has me l...
Mar 26, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 44
good morning dear friends. If you’re like me, your social media has been chock-a-block with stories concerning a regional tech/influencer convention “reducing their footprint” in coming years and there’s no shortage of misinformed, self-styled experts willing to declare the entire endeavor deader than Deadsy. To which I say, PISH FUCKIN’ POSH. Did Tom Vu throw in the towel the first time he had a poor turnout at the Best Western? Did Marshall Applewhite take his ball and go home the first time h...
Mar 19, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 43
(above - a rare photo of the show's original studio, circa 2020) dear friends, welcome and thank you oh so much for being part of EPISODE 250 of The Radio Hour That Feels Like Two Hours. If you're like me, you're finding it difficult to put this particular broadcasting achievement --- 250 episodes! Not as many as 300! But more than 200! -- into proper perspective. How does it stack up against, say Brady Anderson's not-chemically-assisted-at-all 50 home runs in 1996? Susan Lucci losing the Daytim...
Mar 12, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 42
I think we can all agree this is way, way too much work to get the Central Intelligence Agency off the hook But yes, Lars' relationship with the fans is very, very special. If you can call suing them a very special relationship. Presently, many of us are in an equally special relationship with the United States of America, or perhaps one that is even more exploitative and corrosive. A "Don't Blame Me, I Voted For 'Re-Load' bumper sticker won't get you off the hook, either.
Mar 10, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 41
Surely it is possible to eulogize a cultural icon with some measure of accuracy? Like many of you, I read the many tributes to the Roberta Flack and her unworldly talent last week and was troubled by how many of them (perhaps byproducts of A.I. or non-extant copy editing) credited her with the innovation of the flak jacket, as popularized by Houston’s Dan Pastorini. In fact, the flak jacket was invented by the late Byron Donzis (above), a lifelong Roberta Flack fan who tried to license her surna...
Feb 27, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 40
I would like to apologize in advance for my utter failure to mount a proper tribute to The Jam’s Rick Buckler on very short notice. Upon hearing news of Rick’s passing, I’d planned on playing the widely discussed “fan club” aka boot of ‘In The City’ solely featuring Buckler’s isolated drum tracks (‘Mo Rick, Mo Problems’) but either it’s gone missing or this place is an absolute tip (most likely the latter). I’d mentioned this on air and someone kindly offered to bring round their copy of the iso...
Feb 19, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 39
like nearly everyone else, I’ve had to endure countless on and offline “HOT TAKES” about Kendrick Lamar’s SB halftime show, it’s astonishing this performance generated so much controversy compared to Burton Cummings’ appearance at the CFL Grey Cup nearly a quarter century ago. Have we already forgotten Cummings not only setting fire to a Canadian flag, but a Canadian flag that was wrapped over a basket of kittens? Sure, i bet a few of you were phoning talk radio to complain the organizers should...
Feb 12, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 38
There's an old cliche in the radio business --- you have forever to prepare your first show, but only a few hours to compile a memorial tribute to Rico Petroleum. OK, truth be told I had several hours but I had to walk the dog,, attend my jazzercise class, then visit my new neighbors with left over Pro Bowl Chili. This last step took a while because I had to explain what Pro Bowl Chili was (and there's much more of it left over now that they're no longer playing a proper, albeit zero defense or ...
Feb 05, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 37
as you may or may not have heard, the Coca Cola Corporation has issued a recall order in Europe for several of their products (Coke Jr., Coke Edge, Fanta Medium, Tab CMD, Evil Sprite) due to what’s being called higher than usual levels of chlorate, a by-product of chlorine-based sanitizers. I don’t know, it seems like sanitizers are a good thing, right? Unlike Europe, here in the USA regulations are being shredded by the new administration and while this is almost entirely terrible news, if you’...
Jan 29, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 36
i dunno about the rest of you but there are (many) days where I’d rather not engage with any aspect of the real world (or for that matter, the television series, “The Real World” — whatever happened to Puck?) but I’ll still fully acknowledge my bullshit ennui comes from a position of ridiculous privilege and comfort. The all-too-brutal circumstances that are coming to bear on so many of our friends and neighbors will likely make 2017-2021 look like a trial run and with that in mind, EVERY SECOND...
Jan 25, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 35
so they ran a battery of tests on my head yesterday and I’m thrilled to report the results revealed NOTHING. You have no idea how many years I have waited to use that line. Even better, the MRI contraption made some glorious churning sounds, so much so that I contemplated asking the machine out for coffee to see if we could make a deal to release something. I know, you’re thinking “that’s not very funny” but keep an open mind, please. The MRI machine might lack the charisma of say, Danny Tantrum...
Jan 09, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 34
happy new year, dear friends. I know those of you who love being tyrannized by the calendar are prone to making wild resolutions this time of year. Maybe this is the year you finally jump out of an airplane (preferably with a parachute) Perhaps it’s time to try out a diet besides fudge, cheetos and colt .45? How about maybe limiting your screen time to something less than 22.5 hours a day? These all seem like wild, thoroughly unrealistic promises for any of you to keep, but I’m built of stronger...
Jan 01, 2025•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 33
much the way Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert’s scathing review of “Silent Night, Deadly Night” (1987, dir. Charles E. Sellier Jt.) ensured the film’s notoriety and commercial success, I sorely wish there was some august body, say, the Podcast Council or The Society For The Betterment of Streaming Radio Shows, that could do likewise for this week’s program. Inappropriate xmas tunes. Inappropriate tunes, period. Failure to suggest Forster & McLennan’s “Suicide At Home” was meant to be called “(We’...
Dec 25, 2024•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 32
as I gaze out my front window at the scorched landscape of shuttered Poke bowl eateries, Reverb Appreciation Society pop up shops and abandoned Crocs repair centres (to be fair, those things are ugly as fuck but don't break nearly as often as you'd think), I fear for the future of this nation. But even as we prepare to install Linda McMahon as the country's head of education (to be fair, Jim Hellwig was unavailable), I take some solace in knowing that you, the loyal listeners of this program, ar...
Dec 18, 2024•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 31
there's 13 shopping days left before xmas (possibly 12 if you don't wanna be standing around Target at 9pm xmas eve) and with that in mind, it's time this week for the annual Radio Hour That Feels Like Two Hours Holiday Gift Guide! What's it gonna be for the loved ones in your life this year ---- a @methsyndicate "Deny Defend DiGiorno" tee, or perhaps a pair of Detroit Lions Zubaz overalls? If you're not into fashion, you might considering gifting a young person a copy of "Scene Loser" (or faili...
Dec 11, 2024•2 hr•Season 5Ep. 30
Perhaps this goes without saying -- most things do -- but this program stands in John Starks Contrast to all things "Yacht Rock", or back as it was known in a more sensible era, motherfucking "soft rock". Suffice to say many of the persons involved in extolling the virtues of these musical atrocities have been hit in the head with far too many soft rocks. I've been informed that a recent social media disagreement over this issue was not merely debated with some random schmoe with terrible taste,...
Dec 04, 2024•2 hr 2 min•Season 5Ep. 29
I’m sure you were all deeply alarmed (as was I) earlier this week to learn the unscrupulous Wheelchair Full Of Old Men Records had plans to relaunch Sockeye while employing an AI approximation of vocalist Food Fortunata. It’s a chilling development to be sure (particularly as Mr. Fortunata is very much alive and well) , but before we all jump to conclusions, perhaps it would behoove one and all to wait for the final results before passing judgement. Disruptors like Wheelchair Full Of Old Men did...
Nov 27, 2024•2 hr 1 min•Season 5Ep. 28
