Ghost : "An Inside Job"

Man that was very interesting to me. Man, you know, we had long conversation last week and I love your spirit and everything. But explain this to me. Man, Man, that is my history right there. You know I used that right there, So um, these youngsters can see that, Um that this this is real and um in the choices and decisions that you make. Instead of that being a college, I D, that's a penitentiary, I D right there,

and um that's my prison. I D card Um. I'm not known as my first name on my last name. I'm known as nine two eight five seven dash old one too and U. I use that so I never forget where I've been. Wow, that's real. That's that's that's real. Talk's real, that's real. Yeah, it's real. Man. I knew a lot of people like the glorified man, that whole experience, and unfortunately we got way too much of that right now. Man, you know, it's become like you know, that's become almost

like a writer of plastic job. I've even heard kids say, you know, I can't wait till I go to the pin when he was young, you know, and it's crazy, man, Yeah, you know that's um, that's my fault. That's my fault right there, because that's how it was glorified, you know, for you know, growing up in the streets as the passive manhood, you know, catching that case, you know, going to juvenile getting out, you know, being known as a rider.

You feel what I'm saying. And so I'm desensitizing. I'm desensitizing the judicial system for my nephews, for your nephews, for your sons. That's I'm desensitizing that right there. So I'm just like it was desensitized for me, you know, going getting the rest. It was a badge of honor. And but like I said before, you know, the homies don't tell you or didn't tell me the ugly side

of that lifestyle you know of um, incomprehensible demoralization. And when I say that, that means when you go to jail, the first thing you do is they're gonna strip search you. You know, body cavities, parts of my body. I ain't never seen what I'm saying. And I gotta show that to another person, another man before I hit it, before

I hit that block. So when I say that's that was, um, part of my fault is now it's my duty and my responsibility to desensitive eyes, my nephews, your nephews, your sons, their sons, that that penitentiary, Um, that should have never happened. That should have never happened. Well, I mean I always say if I know what I knew now, and I

wouldn't have did what I did. You feel the same way, UM, Yes and no. And when I say yes and no, Um, James, is that UM, I was strong enough to handle that, you know, And I wouldn't change nothing because if that didn't happen, I wouldn't be sitting with both of y'all right now, you feel me right right? Well, I'm trying to reach out to all these these young cats out here that I think game banking is the way. UH think they don't have another choice. Uh believe that all

the homies are the homies. Um, I'm I've been shaying, it ain't that way. It ain't like that the homies can change them. And you're in a second, who's gonna be there for you when you go to prison? Which I didn't have. None of my homies gared me in prison. I had a woman and a mother that you're garing me. Um. So I'm trying to show them as well as my nephews that you don't want to live the life that

I lived. I mean, and then you out there, you you you're spreading your word and teaching these kids pretty much the same thing. I mean. Do you feel like you're reaching them? I am, Um, I feel like I do reach them, especially um when I touched down, Um, I said, you know, it's one thing I got to change. There's only one thing I got to change my whole life,

and that's that was everything. You know. So I used my past as my greatest asset because when I go to these high schools, it's a school, and um, it's a probation school it's called Can I say, I can say the name. It's called hell Crests Academies and the Probation Schools Continuation in Inglewood and so um when I pop up there, man, Um the principal, all that artwork you saw, I started that for these kids. Um, the principal saw. It's funny. Um, I'm at the bus stop.

On me. I'm at the bus stop. I'm crow Shan. I'm crow Shan. You know, you know when you're in the pan and stuff like that. You know, I'm gonna keep one hunting when you're in the pan for me to keep baby coming, you know, keep it running. You know, Grandma tossed the trade back in the day. I took it up, you know. So I'm in the pan, homie. You know, I'm just crocheting Teddy Bears blankets and stuff

like that. And I'll shoot it out, you know, to the females so they can look look what God sent me, you know what I'm saying, And keep them coming, keep them coming. So here I am, you know, um, twirling verides and wireless signs and do what I'm doing at work. You know, I'm at the bus stop. I mean, I'm just croche and reporter from l A sitting up and looked at me. Now, remember when I got to pen I was two hundred pounds with long braids in my hair, you know I was. I was heavier. He did and

and it just shocked the hell out of her. And she pulled up and said, um, what are you doing? And I said, um, I'm crocheting. So I teach kids at this at school program. See now, if I was if I didn't walk the path that I walked, I wouldn't have got the attention of these youngsters who are following my footsteps. So by me doing that and being where I was in the penitentiary and at that bus stop, I got a chance to talk to these kids because you know, of of um, of how it was, you

see what I'm saying. So I'm telling them like, how would you you know, like I'm seventeen, I said, he wasn't even born when I went to the penitentiary. I did seventeen years? Really Like, yeah, what was it? Like? It horrible? Horrible? You know what you mean? Horrible? You smoke budding there, I said, smoke bud drank. I said,

But that's that's the easy part. I said that the horrid part is doing a seventeen year bit in a violent environment where there is no running away, there is no um, there is no I'm not I'm not a part of that. Yes, you are a part of everything that goes on in here. And I would teach these kids some stuff which is called like basically a CBT. I didn't know what I was doing at the time, but I'm using cognitive behavioral therapy tools which I knew nothing about at the time. You see what I'm saying.

So I'm teaching them how to crochet and and these younsters man, you know pants saging, you know doing I said, you come in my you come in this after school program. Um. There was a mayor named Mayor Dorn. You've heard of mayor doing in in in Inglewood. That dude gave me accommodation of of appreciation from the Inglewood Unified School District in the city of Inglewood because I started out with

these youngsters and these kids are crow shame. We started out making knots at first, right like loops, and they will call me eight a ghost ghost, Mr ghosts. I'm like, what's up. I'm like, yeah, um under it, like do it better. Your your knots are not perfect. You did what I'm saying, man, for real, this right here. What happened was, um, it starts to grow. It's the APT school program started to grow with boys and the girls,

the little, the little hard headed, little knuckleheads. Well, um, for my little my little Verizon wireless money, I would go to the store and buy balls or yarn. You did what I'm saying, and I'll just donate. So these kids were taking them home and they're like, a, um, A ghost is my nots right. I'm like, yeah, teach him it. Ghost is my notts? Right? Yeah, teach them. So I broke them off in groups of four and gave them patterns how to make blankets and Teddy bears

and all this stuff. And and then I used the past as my greatest asset. So therefore I would talk about life, what kind of life you want to live? Use the same thing that you were doing, calling my name? Are my notts right? Are my stitches right? I told these youngsters in this probation school, use the same principle in your math class, your history class, your English class. If you don't understand it, raise your hand to ask your teacher and all of a sudden, Man, it's just

it's just blew up. Man. We have like fifty two kids, and and I would tell them, you know, this is this is part of the life, you know, of how you're gonna make your stitches. So I'll use that metaphorically, you know. So that was my beginning right there. So so did you know you was gonna be into that in the penitential? Man? For real? For real, I'm gonna keep you wandling. Um, I was gonna take this game to the year two thousand, because that's all I knew.

I ain't never had a job before, you know. Um, And you know, and I'm gonna keep I'm like, I'm gonna keep a gangster. I'm not gonna turn religious. I'm not. That wasn't my thing, you know what I'm saying. Um, I had zero clue what I was gonna do when I touched down, when I touched these tin toes down at zero clue, Man, you know the funny part. But it man, we see you now, man, how you are which you evolved into being. Let's go back to the beginning. Man,

how did you get there? What happened? Like? How did you wind up in the system. Man, Um, I blamed. I blamed God for one. I blame not having the father there. Um, I blame living in the projects. I'm looking for acceptance and all the wrong places. Remember the song looking for Love and all the wrong places. Well, well that was me, you feel me? That was me. I um, you know, I gave my life, my will to the care of my my neighborhood. You know, they

accepted me. I had companionship, acceptance and understanding, you know, because that's what we all. I'm gonna say me, that's what I was seeking. Acceptance, companionship, and understanding. So I never liked my name, you know, my first name. So the homies, my bigger homie, he was eighteen years old. He started calling me Casper the ghosts because of my light skin. So I took that persona on for the rest of my you know, for the rest of my days. He taught me a trade back in night two and

you can sell this and make this. Remember at the time I was mowing lines and ship like that, collecting cans. I mean I started doing that. Man eight four, I bought me a six night in parlor parked on the other side of the projects. I had front back on it.

That was all we had. With the changed with the change there will, I didn't have no permit, and um I took off man and and it started going and started going, you know, catching little cases of possession of salves, cases going to LP you know, all the little juvenile East Lake and all that spot, all the all them stuff like that, and getting out of there being viewed as a hero, you know, a rider, you know, ghost as a rider. And then I, um, um, it was too much competition in l A, and so I took

that work out of town. And UM kind of blew up like a man smoking at the gas station and knew nothing else. And that's what I that's what I did. So Um February six, I gave my um my homeboys. UM, I gave him three of them, three bricks, gave him three birds. Um they got arrested. They didn't take my direction. They got arrested by the fair and UM told them but that I gave it to him on February six,

nineteen nine. And I make a long story short, Uh I played guilty to a twenty year prison cents from nineteen twenty one twenty two, twenty three twenty four, twenty five, six, twenty nine, thirty thirty one, thirty two, thirty three, four, thirty five, thirty six. So basically, I spent half of my life in the unnatural, violent but necessary environment, and so um being angry as hell um because it goes back to I'm not good enough. I was, I shouldn't

have been here. Um, all all these deeply ingrained negative feelings and thoughts. So I'm all of my dude James keeping gangster us all I know. Yeah, seventeen years, you've got to I mean, you gotta surviving there, and you can. You ain't gonna surviving there being quiet and sitting on your bums. Um. That's what these kids today think going to jail because they see a lot of cats coming home. It's a lot of ship that you gotta do it

you have to do in prison. Yes, you know what I'm saying, Yes, and and and that's learning how to survive. You know what I'm saying. You ain't going in there begging and asking for handouts and can't pay them back. You had your hat brother t if you don't pay it back. So you know, it ain't no kids in prison, it's some cats in prison, that's been in their little motherfucking time. And like, boys, these little cats are, ain't nobody gonna sunk me. Ain't nobody, boy, please, I didn't

see the best of the best. Get too. It's happened. I'm just happening, you know, Like um, like the homies, you know when you run them with the car, you know, Um, I ran with a particular car, you know, And that was a no no. You know, if one of the homies you know, funk with the boys, he getting rolled up, you did what I'm saying. But some homies did do it, you know what I'm saying, So we kind of blackballed them. That's that was kind of the get down right there,

you know. Um, it was kind of like a different generation. And um, and some of these um cats is unaffiliated, man, especially like a lot of these junks is that I see walking around the day. It's like you unaffiliated. You

were crash dum me you're gonna be a girl. They're gonna be girls, man, And ain't nothing you could do to save them because um, you know, like like some of the cats that's been um that you know, the homies don't funk with you did what I'm saying, because you know, we ride, and this is what we do,

you know, we that's what we do. Right. Um, these unctions hitting that line getting off that bus, if they are unaffiliated, um, you know they are out there hustling for tennis shoe money, you know, um and and getting ship. So when they hit that line on me, it's like, Uh,

one of the homies pushed up on him. What you need, here you go, here you go, here goes some zoos was way Williams, here you go, um, put him in, put him in my cell and uh and you nothing you could do about that, you know, and you won't you here on your own, you know, So you're gonna ride. Um. And most of a lot of these youngsters nowadays thinking, um, what kills me is test my gangster. That's what killed because it's gonna get tested. It's gonna get tested, you know.

And yeah, I remember when Um, I remember I had the line one of the homies, Um, he was he's old bully, He's he's old bully. You know. He wanted to you know, he was with the car and everything, and um, you know, I'm soft spoken, I'm kind of quiet, you know, and he was talking that talking to that bullshit. You did what I'm saying, high yellow nigga, you know

what I'm saying, pretty motherfucker. And I used to box for Archie Moore and I got hands you know, and the home is kind of bigger and ship like that. But size don't mean nothing, you know. Take four pounds of pressure knock him other funk out. And then we was in the day room and um, he was on one and and he's focused on me because I ain't. I ain't no big motherfucker, you know, And call me a bit, call me a bit in the day room for all the homies. I gotta I gotta strike. You

ain't got I gotta strike, you know. So Um he cleared, you know, watch for the CEO cleared and everything. Clear that ship up and clear the day room. And we you know, came from the shoulders. And as soon as he put him up, I said, I'm gonnaknock this motherfucker out. As soon as he put them hands up, I said, oh, I got him. I got him, and I got to I got this bike mark on my arm right here. I show you this bit me, you know. So no, no, he couldn't get close to me. Because I kept putting

my south Paul having frustrated. Yeah, so, um, the Homies like it's done and all that, and um, um if I don't stand up now, um it's over. You did what I'm saying. And um, so he put um once we locked, you know, I said this, he don't. He don't want to get down. He's he's he want to wrestle. So it's like the Homies like, ain't no wrestling. We come from the shoulders. And after it was over, Um, it was nothing wrong with me, you know what I'm saying.

His mouth busted, no, busted, and he breathed hard and we shook hands. So we shook hands. He grabbed me and pulled me and bit me my arm right here. So I got to mark on my arm right here. Yeah, did you hit him again? I hit him again. I hit him with him plastic chairs and and he had to go. He went to the whole, got out of the whole about about thirty three days later and was like number of respect. Yeah, you gotta have it, enough time to think about it. Yeah yeah, So, um, it's

two things happen. If somebody else, James, you know what's gonna happen. I'm about to stabbed this cat up. Worry about one of these cats telling on me, because if my home boys I grew up told on me for three birds. If I stabbed this cat up in his dayroom, that was him. They don't you know. So, Um, that's some of the ship you gotta deal with. Chevin ten can turn into light, yes, sir, he can. Two years can turn into light. Yeah, and I'm gonna keep on

with you. I was scared because I know that's the next level. Yeah, you know, I was like, man, you know that's the next level on it's um is he gonna' I gotta stabbed the homie. He's gonna stab me. It's known to happen. Yeah, we had a big homie of Mars. The Jailer's used to bring all the homies that come came in there and put him in his sell He would want them in there and and he would rape them. There's a lot of cats that's just walking the street right now in the day been raped by by Smiley.

You know what I'm saying. Smiley Robinson and uh he in the newspaper the Old Night and he proudly this ship. He probably this ship he's and every time when of the homies come in, he said, I'm getting some pussy and in these in these cats. I just want these little kids to understand. Like I tell my nephews, you know, back in the days, if y'all were trying to hang out and kick it like this, your motherfucker's wouldn't have

made it. You know what I'm saying. I got nephews want to be g Q kind of like just cool and red hair. Uh, nine jippers on their pains. Come on that gang banging ship. Don't that ain't gang banging? You know what I'm saying. You can't. You can't hold two different identities. You gotta be either one way or the other. You gotta be all the way in the car.

But doing seventeen years in prison, I mean that that takes a toll on the mind, like spiritually, spiritually, UM, I'm gonna tell you right now, I know I've been there. I know I've been there because certainly my certain habits you know sometimes um, sometimes they come out, you know, um, um, but especially after like I've never been there. You think what I'm saying. But I know I've been there because,

like I said, some of my habits, they come out. Um, you know, going um, getting the rest of going to M d C. And uh in n You know you hear all. You know, everybody wanted to be the street king. Everybody wanted to be the street king. You know. I know I did when I was a youngster. You know because I'm hearing stories. I'm hearing these stories. You know, this is what we're gonna do. Is what we're gonna do. That's why I got into the game, you know, because

I wanted that acceptance, that companionship and understanding. You think what I'm saying. That's why I joined. Um, I got put on my hood, you know, because I wanted acceptance, companionship and understanding. You feel me. Um, So I was accepted, I had companionship and had an understanding. But when I when I took that fall, you know, all that ship came down, you know, because I was out there getting it. I was getting it, you know, Um, the flashy ship

that wasn't That wasn't me. You know, my wealth is hitting basically, you know what I'm saying. And um, and one day it was all gone. One day it was all gone. So I'm sitting up in the cell, man with it, and they put this little short dude in my cell. You know, I'm an m d C. I was on six South and um they put this little short duty to myself, and um so I know I got the zoos with wam wham. So I go up in there and they're like, man, you gotta sell it.

I'm like, fuck, you know, okay, not a problem, you know. Um So I go up in there. I'm like, what's up? I men, I'm Gohost. He was like, I'm Rick. It's nice to meet you, Rick, you know, and it was free way Rick, you know, and that's my homie today, you know. Yeah, so, um well we'll be up in the selle man and we sit back talking and you know, and and you've only I've only I've only heard stories about Freeway Ricky Ross, you know, you know the story

that you get the street lord. You see what I'm saying. He's sleeping on the top bump and the weed, you know, lays potato chips and and the homies like this is not it? Because he called me by my first name, like like wand this ain't it. And he's like, man, read this to me. I'm like, what's that he's like my core papers. I'm like, you can't read, like I

have a little trouble reading. And so I read all this ship to him, you know, and we stayed in that sale man lockdown and we'll talk and he was like, this is not the life, you know, not the life you answer, and um, yeah, Rick is a real good friend of mine. He coming to my house and you know we've been through the trenches together, you know. Yeah, yeah he's out right now. I talked to Rick and not too long ago. I'll tell some more about him.

But um, you know it's me um. And then um, he we got sentenced in January three, Yeah, he got sentenced. It was me, um, Harry Yo. You know, um, everybody heard about these people, but you know, I really don't know. Now, want a bit, you know, when we're in the trenches, I'm gonna tell you, man, that dude, that dude, Mike Man, he's a solid cat. He was like, he was like, smooth, I'm in turmoil. You did what I'm saying. I'm in turmol. You know. I was nowhere close to to Rick or

Mike or Tommy or any Mario. I wasn't a bowl, you know, I was nowhere close to them. You know. Um, I learned acceptance from these cats. You know Bo Bennett, you know water That's what they called Waterhead and that when we us play ping pong, and you know the Cunningham brothers. I'm in contact with all these people today because the things I've accomplished. They knew thee Shalte Man. The cats were solid, but I saw serenity in these cats. I'm a youngster, I'm the younger, I probably the youngest

one in there. But um, I would sit back and watch these cats. You know, before I knew whom Harry or Mike was, I didn't know who he was. You know, I thought was another brother that was you know, stranged up. You know. They was like, man, that's um, that's that's Harry O. I'm like, that's sucking HARRYO. Like yeah, it was all calm, you know, it was. It was just they had some kind of serenity inside of him. So

I was sitting back talking to him and um. After we got sentenced on January three, Mike was wearing a cream colored suit, sitting back reading his core papers with suspenders on, with his little round glasses, with his legs crossed and I came back down and Um, I came back down and he's had how much time to give you? I said, Mike, they gave me a dub. They gave me twenty. I said, how much they give you? And

he said, um, they gave me life. And I looked at him sitting back in his cream color suit with a suspender zone with his glass zon and he's sitting back with his legs crossed, going over, going over his paperwork. And I looked at him. I said, did you just say life? He's like, yeah, you know, they just gave me life. I said, they gave me twenty. And he was like, should you be you'd be at by the time your foldy. You ain't supposed to tell me that you think what I'm saying? So, Um, you know Tommy

came down with life. Who's out now? He got out? Um? Rick, Um, I'm in contact with you know, Bowl? Um not in contact of Bowl. I heard he's home now. But um, but these cats I learned surrender. If it wasn't was late, man, they was. They were stretched out, you know, they were stretched out. But you would never know, you wouldn't you would you would never know? Um? So um, I took. I took what I learned, what I saw from because they're they're unofficially being my mentors. Me and Rick, you know,

we we talked a lot, you know. Um. But but Mike and all of them, you know, um, um, once I found out who he was, I wasn't swinging, you know, I wasn't he Mike, Mike, you know like good morning, you know, like good morning. You don't have a seat like yeah, talking ship like that, you know, And how was you? He would asked me about my family? You know, how's your family? Like they gonna you know, they're gonna be all right. That's how about your families? You know,

this conversation. But they were my unofficial mentors, you know, and acceptance. You have to accept the ugly side of the game. And I couldn't well most and most of them came out here. Most of them came and seventeen. I hadn't seen to break a lot of cash down life. I didn't see a lot of cats come to that County jail with life in turn up. They sail just just in disbelieve. Um, you ain't got nothing a looking

for it once you get life. But the way you're saying how they was they accepted it and fucking this push let's do this. Knew we had knew they had to do that time and you know most a month. Yeah, yeah, a lot of people was a lot of people's hot you know. Um there were some people that was on our floor that got moved off the floor, you know, because they were like they I guess they rethought it like you know, um it was him, you know, so

they moved, they moved off our floor. But but all of us, um, you know, um, we we took it. I learned acceptance from them. Another thing too on me is when you hit that line, is that, um, this is that gangster ship you know, um you know, um we I'm gonna say me, I believed I was a gangster because a young gangster you know, Um I was, I was acting. Uh, this is this is what I know. You know, Um, if you ask me my you know,

was I gangster? I had gangster ways because I watched the I watch you you know, I watch you you know, I watch watch my uncles. You know, I watched watched all of them. But it's just acceptance, companionship man. And but again when I did hit the line, the first thing they want to see is that pre sentence report? Is there a five K one? You know, was there substantial assistance? You know? And you know I like say it wasn't. On the yard right now like a homie.

He goes, um bringing that paperwork, you know, bring the paperwork up to the day room. Alright, but he going on. You know, you guys will flip through my ship. You know, you go straight to the that's if you spoke on anybody else. Yeah, so they'll go to your please agreement. I played guilty, right, you know there was no there was nothing. You know, Um play guilty to a twenty year prison sentence. He's good. You know. It's like we need you to bring a song. So bring your paperwork

up to day room. Why because we asked, We told you, We told you to. If you don't bring that presentence report to the day room, um, you're gonna get carried out or we're gonna let you check in, and then the word gonna spread. You know what I'm saying. The word's gonna spread. You're gonna be treated like a bit to what your whole bit you did. What I'm saying, so presentence report and then you know the bureau prisons

changed all that. They wouldn't let you have it no more because like ten years later, motherfucker's getting rolled up, getting the head caved in because song So told them song So, and we know you're coming, you know, um So that right, there was a lot of stuff, you know, you know well that that's pretty much jail. How ship, I mean, just because you're in jail. To me, you ain't got no rules, and and just knowing that that's home, man,

motherfucker's they handle business like it's home. You know what I'm saying. It's it's it's home away from home for the time, Ben. But the way guys got down in prison, it's totally different how cats interact out here, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, just like you said, ain't no running, They no hiding, you know, hiding. So to be amongst us in this right here on this yard, we can bring that ship out here that she was. She was cracking. So we ain't got no funny business in there, no

funny niggers in there. We know we all ride us exactly. But I'm gonna tell you one hunter though, when you go back in that cell, when it's getting rich, like these scars on my hand right here, that's from the racial ride, you know, as from like I said, if you were blood or a crip and you're from California and you ride because we're gonna ride against so and so, so and so, you know, and ain't no, um I gotta visit coming. No, ain't none of that. Um My

mama coming, No, she ain't coming. You're gonna be on the front line. You You're gonna be on the yard. You know what I'm saying. So, um, it's we had ride and she was burning up. It was in Phoenix and it went down, you know, Um, it went down and it was wild. So a building called on fire and the homies were inside the building. Man and um and this right here we are busting them windows and thick as bulletproof glass windows, taking them. Had to get them out because the c os left. They locked him

in that building and they locked him in. They locked him in that building, and we gotta try to get through this glass and so the doors it was stuck. Oh, it was stuck. Oh, so the homies, so they were trying to break the frame. I took one of them ashtrays, you know, the concrete astrays, little round ones picked up. I kept throwing against the window and then broke the window and pulled the homies out. And that's when my hand cut this thing, and all of a sudden, the

whole fucking building just came down, you know. And um. But then again during this time, remember I still got fourteen years left to do there. There is no tomorrow. You know, we gotta get it in. You know, we have we have to do this. But I ain't gonna lie to you. I ain't gonna lie on me. Um. I did say before UM, before I walked out that unit, I did believe in God, said God, please don't let me kill nobody, and please don't let nobody kill me, right,

you know know, let me go back to one thing. Man. I don't think this is what these junctions realized. You caught your case, man, and lived through that like pretty much went through hell, and you never got caught with nothing. It was just these cats words that you sent. At the time, they called conspiracy a forty one a UM and a forty six. They called it a constructive possession.

I didn't fully have it in my possession, but I had domaning in control over it because let me say this for the people out there too, And I'm pretty sure we all got homeboys like that. How many homeboys y'all got who went to jail for no reason because somebody says some ship that wasn't true. Yeah, so somebody right now could say I heard that James ghosts and still got birds up in that thing that they yet and we can mess around to be sitting in the

celle wondering what the hell happened? Hell happened? And you see, yeah, that was it was. It was kind of crazy because the fact of the matter is is that how many nineteen year olds have that much money in the house. And back then when the when when the Co Canadian ship came out, man, it was it was big and it was it was so many cats that reached that top. You know that the average hood nigger wouldn't getting that

type of money or wouldn't getting it like that. That's where you had the the the big deep boys, you know, like like Free Read that was had controller ship like that and distributed and putting it out there like that. Half of us didn't happen like that. So something that was going to the fairs for half of birds and selling ship to to motherfucker three or four times. Uh, your phone was being tapped easily, and nine times out

of tea. It was somebody in the hood that was sucking with you and working with you and then doing anything like that. But going to jail is going to jail the time you're gonna do it. And like they had my brother and in there, Hey, I got call with a pistol. So they said the pistol was from you talk. So now just because it's prison record, they're trying to give forty years for the pistol and state Commerce Article one sex night Claus seventeen of the US Constitution.

That's what that is, his commerce clause forty years. So I'm sitting there people and it's a cool ast. Uh. The federal ship is totally different from state. And all these people walked in this room. I don't like they're been a pick a jury just like that. He had a jury sitting right there and he ready to go in you know what I'm saying. So, and Alton case was the only case they said ninety nine point nine percent eight percent of conviction rate from from the federal

witch camps. So he went all the way. M hm. The police said that when he jumped out the car and ran the person that was driving the car through the pistol out, that's how they got there. So they ate the ship up. But he sat there for a minute and uh, how did he how did he get it? The lawyer that he had was was a cool lawyer, but he wind up beating it. And they said he was the only only person in three years that that one a case at that time. About Man, it's crazy, Yeah,

it's crazy. So just watching how they program go and opposed to you know, stay, they sit there and they do all these questions and ship and all that ship and then pick a jury and take maybe maybe two weeks maybe a month to pick. Yeah, And I'll tell you the crazy thing about it, Man, I got a brother in lawdis in the fives right now. He was supposed to be up five years ago and wound up you know, little things happening to there and stuff where

he had defend himself or whatnot. Man. But just when you get to see the discovery papers at the end of the case, because when they came and got him, he was messing with that math, right, and so you just saw the whole assencion It was like a movie. I saw his whole as Sencion and rides to where he first hooked up with these people. Right, he's doing his thing. Then he had the five point on dating's right. Then he had the f one fifty on these you know what I'm saying. Then he got the big house

in Cerritos, the other one in Lakewood. Three or four hours is. So we're having a birthday party. This when I knew he was in there some ship, right, because he was stressed out all the time. Man, you know, just like he had all this stuff but could never enjoy it. Just seemed like he was always just going you know what I mean. So we're having the birthday party for the kids for my son over the this house were over in Lakewood. Right, it's a new creative

you got. So I'm looking for the bathroom. I walking run room. Remember they had the brown bag trade trash bags whole room for the money. Just you know, just like talked about me. You know, you see some ship like that. So me I'm talking like, man, what you got going on? Bro? You know what I mean? Because had I known you got all this over you, I wouldn't not damn sh it. Wouldnt be over it with you because I've always been no nonsense, you know what I mean, Because I know I'm not trying to go

to jail with nobody. They run up in his motherfucking and sure, as you know, I look at his discovery papers. I'm in there as shock. They called me shocking the discovery papers. How you getting conversation? You know, phone conversations and just me, Thank god, we never he never put us none of his ship, you know what I mean. But he has given us money. He had given his money before. You know what I'm saying for Look, you know little things say bro, go talk to your homeboy.

This car. You know I had a partner to deal with cars and ship, right, you know, giving well, get this for me. I guess they found that I didn't have nothing to do with it because I always had some squares ship going on. It's like when I did my little dippling and dabbling. It took me one time for the police to tell me, hey we and I was that was I left a hole my homeboy, and

tell you you know, a big fine. But you tell y'all left a hole zone back in the bid and walked away because I recognized left, walked, walked away, left it right down the building. Because what happened was, um, we was on Ohio and An and they should be the spot. You know, I'm not here from Ohio with no money, right, So I was pretty good at it. It It was easy. It wasn't nothing. You know, I'm a big, tall, intimidating.

The first thing, I actually had good customer service. The mother dudes out there beating niggers up, taking their money and ship I was, you know, gave you a nice big huver rock, you know what I mean. Feeding all the smokers, you know, you know I had them, you know, having things. Then I you know, one lady gave me the idea, you know, Nickels. I started selling Nicholas, right.

I had goes out there right, so I was short stopping everybody ship between motherfucker's hitting that corner, me having the box, motherfucker's niggas pulling the hand, and little niggas this tall pulling downs on me this big and ships about you're sucking up my money, you know what I mean. And they don't want to do nothing because they're cool with the homie, but they you know, if they don't want to see me like this, but they just pretty much I just saw it wasn't worth it to me. Man,

it just wasn't worth it. You'll have some money in my pocket now. Man. But I remember my mom had called me early that morning and she said, what's going on with you? Now, Monty in California? Play football. I ain't came out here to become the king piano scarface. You gotta remember this, nineteen eighty nine. And it was it was easy, you know when I because when I first went out to the first night I was out there, I made twelve hundred dollars, just like it was easy.

The only thing that slowed me down I didn't have enough savvy in the game. I kept going back buying double ups like a dumbass, you know what I mean. Like I didn't have another sense, you know. You know what I'm saying. I don't have enough sense. So I'm just study going back. You could you could have held, you could have handled at the time you walked away from my house, you know what I'm saying. So, but you know that's the thing I got, man, because it

starts I start feeling this sense of power. Right because first of all, now I don't went from being a nigger that where the same leaver as the school every day to where I got the cock sport t phone, I got me a little cube and ling, I got me a page and my homeboy don took me the compass wapping me and I'm you know, I'm feeling good. I don't got the little I don't grow the little shaggy, you know what I mean. And you know what I'm saying. I don't got me a little thing. You know, you know,

nigger got a kno in this pocket. You know, you go to you know, Friday night, you're going, um, what's a little Tommy Burger? And you out there, you know you actually a little night in your pocket. You got your twenty five dollars in your pocket. You know, you're right, you know what I mean. You're doing your thing. You're going to Hollywood and you're just getting the attention. Right. But my mom had called me the morning. It was something in the the foray. She said, I know you out

there doing something. Whatever you're doing, you need to stop. So it was just different that day. It felt dark that day because I will starts getting football practice to go to the block. First of the month, man, fun practice. I'm this ship is this is the thousand dollar day, you know what I mean? But just how you how you explain it? A whole bunch of cats can't explain it like that. I was done, man, Is that you know?

Because you know what I measured up with it? Man, Because the way this cop broke me down was like I was animal. The way like they could you could tell they was frustrated. They couldn't find nothing. You know, I didn't have no pistol on me. I didn't have nothing. I left my little pistol at the house that day, right. I didn't had no pistol on you didn't have nothing on me, And I kept my ship. One thing my boy told him, he said, never keep that ship on you,

Never keep it on you. So they was looking forward, dog, and they couldn't find it. I walked away. I walked straight back to the house. Man. I didn't I didn't pay us go, didn't try to go back and look at it for nothing, and didn't try to do nothing, you know what I mean. No, I wasn't working with it, dog. I'm pretty sure fine he's fat ass went back over there trying, you know what I mean, try to do this ship. But I was done, man, because what idea was.

I did the math for it because I got people, know how, they all my whole family, you know how man. My daddy said, all of them dudes is in the fizs now for hustling, right, So I already knew the endgame was and I always did the math for I said, okay, you figure I'm doing this now and I could probably go this, but when they stretched me that time gonna be like me getting a check from McDonald's. Yes, when they break it down, you know, when you break down

the time. So it just wasn't. It just wasn't. It just went in the mix. What goes? What's the eyes of coming home and and you still have money left? How many guys would you say came home that still had paper from from during twenty years and then get out and still can relax off the money they made. I don't know none. I don't. I don't know none. Um. You know the stuff that you but I had, Um,

I don't. I didn't need it. You know I needed it, but um, it's something I didn't think about because you know it's like Mom's you know you can have it. You know, um my mom, man, Um, she wouldn't accept nothing. She wouldn't accept nothing. So I put it in there and I'll hold it for you. He's like, my mom didn't want nothing, you know she you know, she's um. The church in Compton, you know, yeah, she didn't want nothing, man. And um, you know she had a little um trying

to buy her things. She tried to buy her car, she didn't want that. Um, try to move her out the project, she didn't want that. Um, she didn't want nothing, man. And UM, I'm trying to. I'm trying to. I'm trying to help her out, you know, trying to help her out. But my mom is like one of them women from old school, you know. Um, God, God faring, you know that. You know what am I to say, you know to Jesus? And you know because the church and Compton that's where

we grew up at. You know, my my um, my godmother was the pastor of the church in Compton, and and she still go there to this day. And my mom is, UM. I had to tell her, you know, you need you with cars, so go ahead and take it. And she did. Man. Um, I'm thinking she's gonna buy Honda or something mom mom bought escalade, Mom bother escalade, you know, and she was enjoying that part right there. But um yeah, it's um. You know what Norm talking about Homi is um is I saw no danger in it.

And that's the problem. That's because it's different his lifestyle and your lifestyle. Your lifestyle and mind is in the hood. His lifestyle is a transfer coming to the hood. Coming to the hood is easy to walk away. But on a daily living in the hood and got to see these same people every day on the daily basis and functioning this that's what I am. I'm from the hood. The hood is me. So that's why our situation is totally different. He didn't. He didn't have to endure a

day to day with the hood. I kept with one hundred to the game. I took twenty with it and I ran with it. This is my mentality, my values, and my beliefs was funked up. Well, God, dude, was culling. Your ego killed my ego. Verizon wireless signs getting my foods into me, my homeboard, my homeboy gave me get feet me. So going back to norm, going back to norm, I mean like I had to get the gap. You know I can. I can bump one easy. You think what I'm saying. I still had a little bit. I

still had that right there. But it's different now if I do bump. But what can I do with it? Not goddamn thing. So this fear of financial insecurities come in. I say, I call a a homie. Um its ghost man, it's ghosts and um oh yeah, my probation just got transferred from Long Beach to Inglewood, right and uh and I had you know, so I'm doing that. I'm catching this goddamn bust. And so I called aos. What's up? Homies like this? Ghost gain? Yeah, Hey, I can get you.

I can get you. Thirty I can get I can get the car um almost in the game. You know, Um I can, I could, I could thirty thousand was I'm getting paid four hundred four twenty dollars a week, twirling rising Wireley signs the fuck. I tell Norm like, Norm, um, I'm gonna get a jack And he's like, I go over his house and he said back and talk. He said, bag, you know what you do anything you want to do. All I do is make a suggestion phone ring. Hey, ghost,

what's up. What's up? Else? It was up on me? Um, yeah, man, you know what, M I got the whole sixty fuck shoot room. I felt it right here Norm Norm's We're sitting in his backyard eating toast. You know what. He's an old man, you know. And Um, he said, I'm like, you know what I'm gonna tell you on me, I'm good, I'm good. He's like, what your man? I said, I'm good? I said, you know. He said, you know you looked out for me back in the eighties, you know, giving

me that work. I said, you know that was part of my old lifestyle. Man. Um, you know what on me? Um, I don't need it. Man. You know I'm cool. I guarantee you. I continued into I'm cool. So UM, I said, you know what on me? Um, I can't you know, we can't talk no more. He said, you're sure. I'm like, I'm positive Gary, And he's like and Norms like looking at me, not not this Norm. You know. Um, his name is Norman, you know. Um? And I say, Um, I'm good, I'm good. I hanged the phone up and

I'm like, he said, what happened? I said? He said, he can get me all sixty. He said, when was the first I've been asking for that? For that, I said, about a week ago and took what he said. He said give me eight and didn't give me thirty, and now he could get the whole sixty. So my my other homeboy, what messing with this female? Who knew? Soon? So I gotta go. Um, I gotta go to Englewood, you know, to you know, go see the Pyo Go peanut bottle ship like that. And he sits back. His

name is Mr mctoire. He said, Um, you you changed. I see what you mean. He said, Um, I'm glad you changed. Mr. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, what do you mean? And he was like, are you associating with your old cronies? I said, some people do call me, you know, I said, but I have I have a strong mentor in my life now. And he was like, can I show you something? I said, yeah. It's August a special special agent maur Hand with Gary. Oh well you know Gary, he gonna you know, the

wan for Wred. They called the ghost um known drug dealer. He's gonna try to um. They called it um an overt act. I didn't agree. I agree but I didn't agree. I didn't agree. Um, you're don't try to get him. No, No, I didn't know that he caught a case coming through Mexico. You know, I just got out and I had to go drop a deuce. I listened to that ship, special Agent marahand the federal um um, the d A. Lauren

mallerhand this scared ship. Scared. He was about to work you and put you back in for sixty grant that you had twenty years ago. His mother go was because he knows, he knows that what it was for was for and where it where it came from. And I never told on nobody I got got from doing the seventeen year bit on a drug case. Right, they try to He's trying to get me, you know, show you back to another team. Um, probably so, probably so. And

then he listened again. A couple of days later, it's August fourteen, so on so time, Special Agent maraham, we're going to attempt with Mr Gary, attempt to speak with Mr Diwan for one more again. I need your thirty dog. I'm good. Yeah, let me think about, you know, a conversation and then the last one normal sitting there with me. And you know what my po said. He said, I'm glad you did not say yes because we were gonna

come and get you. I suppose you're gonna get me fall he said, ex feeling and put um in the conspiracy. Um um frettened um um its been a conspiracy. Yeah yeah, that and I forgot to I've got the other charge. It's some bullshit, right. I had no money. I have no more money. Pay no lorders, no more. You know, eight dollars, eight dollars. He sain't gonna pay no, I'm gonna get a public pretender. So make a long story short. Um. I came out the bathroom and I said, I dropped

the duce. I had to go drop a duce. So I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to go. I don't want to do that no more. You see what I'm saying. So um, I called, I walked out. I walked down the Brea and I went to the bus stop right there on Manchester because I got a little studio apartment, implied del Rey. You know, it was probably biggest you bathroom you know? And I called, I called Norm, and I said, man, I'm gonna take every suggestion that you give me. And he started laughing and says,

start over again. And I did. And that's the good lad. And it's it's hard because most of us don't take heed, especially these young cats today ain't gonna listen to you. You had to close that book before you started a new one. I realized that you can't be Midel James and then be James McDonald. You have to close one of them. You're only old and possessed one identity. You can't live two different knives. You're gonna they gonna interact at some point, which what this was, What's gonna happened

to you? By working with this cat? Now I got the whole sixty temptation is a motherfucker. If you never spoke with no him and he gave you those suggestions, you just you have been out there trying to get that jack. Yes, but that jack would have put your drove you straight back to where you came from exactly. And and you know and one thing that um, what he tells me is he tells me that this is an old man, is seventy two year old man, a

little bity dude by five four. He puts his finger in my chest and tell me you're not your story no more. You will tell your story. Fox me excuse my language, fox me up. You will tell your stories to being your story. And that's that's And the thing about it is he never had no sons, and he he has two daughters. And I said, I want everything

that you got. I want everything that you got. And he said, continue to take suggestions and elevate your mind setting, your vibration and your frequency, and you will produce similar results to myself. See now this is what the This is what I do. This is what I do on a daily basis. My palms are down these junctures. I told Junior the other day, Um, I wear with the funk I wanted to wear. I love to think this. I ain't gonna lie. Um, but I'm wearing a red

a Theata sweatsuit just like this. And I'm in the store in Inglewood called Robert's Market. I see these three youngsters, right, you know, wearing these skinny jeans you know, you know, sagging and ship. So I walk up to the store and the first thing they do is they look at this. Remember I used to be on the other side, you know, so raids a new thank to me. You know what I'm saying. So I'm wearing this red on four dita suit.

This was Thursday, Friday, last Friday. Um. And then I walked inside the liquor store, right I got, I got my mask on everything, and these three youngsters they just look at me. I said, what's up, youngsters, how do you doing? What's your name? What's your name? I'm d J Vaerette man. They used to call me. Go push up with your name. And they look at me, and I said, don't be afraid of me. I'm not afraid of you. I see your life matters to me. I said, I come here to buy a fantasy and a pack

of cigarettes. Don't get afraid of me. And in all this right here and all that following went down, and I said, um, sit y'all up to night. We're just trying to get a little, you know, a little something. You know, I'm forty nine years old. Then they're made by in their early thirties. You know what I'm saying. And and they said, I'm not afraid of you. I see you look defensive when I walk inside the store. You guys just kept looking at me, you know, I said,

I'm don't be afraid to be youngest. You know. You said your life matters to me. You know, I hope my life matters to you too. And they were like, make a long story show. I called Junior right after that, and we're on the phone. I said, Man, I'm in the fucking parking lot at Robert's Liquor and Inglewood and we're just chopping it up with these junctions. And I said, the thing is, you need to give this away. You

need to evade your vibration, your frequency. So when we see somebody that looks like you, you don't have to be afraid. You see what I'm saying. I said, because your life matters. My life matters, I said, Edward, the funk I go. If I'm on eight of the main, if I'm in fucking Compton, if I'm in fucking Wise, if I'm in the Pacific Palisades, and if I'm if I put off the freeway and I'm by the Nicholsons and I go up to the gas station, I should be. I should don't be. Don't be afraid of you, because

fear means false evidence appearing real. So don't be afraid of me, you know, I'm you know, I taught these guys face everything and rise. This is my this is my thing, and that's where we gotta get afraid of each other. And when I told you me, answer James, I just I spent seventeen years in penitentiary. No, no, you've seen me. Saw my prison card. I'm like, no, like, yes, I did, I see I did. I've been there, So

you don't have to We're gonna keep spreading that. Yeah, we don have to keep spreading up if you can't do me a favor because we got a lot of people look at the show. Explain what vibrations and frequencies are, because I'm pretty sure it's a lot of people out there that don't know. Oh right, all right, um, I'm gonna I'm gonna speak about my experience or what I learned through vibrations and frequency. It's it's it's it's a feeling.

You cannot see it. You can see the results of a vibration or or higher frequency, but you cannot see it. Um My, Now, I never imagine even speaking like this before. But me, um, I know that everything is perfect, right. I do believe in I believe in God, you know, not organized religion. That's not my thing. But if it's it's it's more of a spiritual thing, which is an invisible thing, right, which is a vibration, which is the frequency, which is I like to call God. This is me right,

which is perfect? It's perfect. So everything I look at, I see a vibration or a frequency. Like when we met high vibration, high frequency, we and you transmitted something which the laws of attraction. So I know that you're perfect. I know everybody's perfect, right, I know, but that vibration needs a point of reference. The vibration needs a point of reference for me. This is my interpretation of that. So if I can transmit it our it's a laws

of attraction. And I know that my invisible part of me, my invisible the part that only I know, was undeveloped at one time. That's because we live a toxic life. It was perfect, but undeveloped. So therefore my human experience has been toxic. Right. So once I learned to tune in to this thing called perfection, which is a vibration or frequency, and I developed that just like buff iron,

just like we learned, like we learned stuff. I learned this inside stuff which is the invisible part which I know it was perfect and therefore the results I produced A dann, You're perfect and my toxic and my human experience ain't been toxic anymore. So it's a tuning in. It's listening to that my voice, which is which connects. So it's kind of deep, man, it's real deep. But um, I learned. I learned this stuff when I was um,

when I was in Turkey. Um, I learned this the same thing when I was in Australian Melbourne, when I was speaking with the Aboriginals when they were in cars rated. Because this is what I get a chance to do. I get a chance to go with different places. You know, I'm blessed on me. I'm blessed. I can take this. I can take the twenty year prisoners that they gave me and I can convert that into an asset. Yeah I do. You know, I do get paid for that. You know, I like, I ain't a lie, but um,

I take that and I go to these places. You know, Um, and I talked about this perfection and you know, Aboriginals they're real spiritual. Everything is nature, everything is is they see God. You know, you know what I'm saying, but I get them, I get their attention by telling my story and they don't see saying And so that's that's that's tuning in to that how my frequency um of

tuning that in and getting the high vibration. Because if I wasn't little different vibrations or say, a different channel, I wouldn't be sitting him with you. I wouldn't be sitting him exactly exactly. And that's the thing, um, what I wanted to get across, man is um, I look at James, I look at you. You know, people that actually been through the storm, just changed their life right,

and and all of that is real. I tell I preached that to everybody that I know that you know, trying to get in the business or whatever it is they're doing. I'm telling that you have to get you right first before you try to embark on anything. And everything can't be about money because if you're doing the right thing, the money had comes. It's weird how it works. It's a reward because if you do, if you work hard. Like when we came in here to do this podcast,

we never talked about money. At first. It was always less make the dopest thing possible. Because I had this idea for three years and I never went forward with it because I got to get the right people involved with it, you know what I mean, Because it was that I saw being like, um, not just a seasonal show one or two years things. I saw being a thing that where brothers can get together around table to a certain experiences, and it's something that's like that's gonna

go beyond me. You know. It's almost like the guy that opened up the first McDonald's franchise, you know, he didn't see him have him you know, McDonald's all over the world at that time. He just opened up a Burger's thing, you know, but then it spread. I see this being a thing that where thirty years from us, three more brothers sitting at the table talking. You know

what I mean. Well, it is actually time for it, and like I said, things in life is happening because of that, and it's time for change, and it's it's you know, we didn't happen to be sitting across the table on the flute. You know what I'm saying. I think things are being placed in front of me. Is what as you was knowing and everybody that listened to this podcast we all getting a chance to see in here and listen to your story, my story, and if you if you add it up, man, it's all the same,

the same fucking road. But I went over the hill this way, I hit the curve this way, and yours went that way. But it's all the same thing, and everything is coming straight out of the neighborhood. So learning that and understanding that and then growing up and growing up as men sinning wrong and knowing that there's a need for change. That's that that this is, this is a cold piece right here, and everybody got to see

and understand that. You don't want to be on this pin off, you know that, because with this, I mean you gotta bring you hey game to to to get out, to get out of prison and then be able to show that and say I've made it out. But this is what I'm doing with it. And that's one of my biggest things. The young catch is not understanding that today it's glorifying it, man, you know it's um. It's

it's it's you know, glorifying and desensitizing um. And they don't understand of how you watch your mama get old in the visiting room, These catching understanding when they watch their kids grow up in the visiting room and then have grandkids in the visiting room. They ain't understanding that. You know. They're talking about, you know, pulling these pistols out. Now there's a consequence for that. Either gonna get the death penalty or you're gonna get stretched the funk out

or get killed. And these these bullet wounds I got in my back. I made it. I heard you talking about that. It's like motherfucker's don't understanding what what a hot one feels like. And you and you got your you got your fifteen years old, and you wonder why he fell on the ground. He's bleeding out of his ear, and then you know, you look back in. Motherfucker's just

shoot because I'm wanting a different code. You know, motheruck's ain't understanding that, you know, because it's the values and beliefs I believed in my in my hood at one time, and I believed that I was grapping my hood. But now I got this new information real on me. What I was doing was I was a part of holding my neighborhood hostage and making it dangerous. That's true. You know,

my neighborhood. Now, I'm gonna tell you it's funny. It's the most populated place for tricker treaters because I sit on my porch and give off and give off candy, and like where y'are from, they ain't from nowheld, I live in the Pacific Palace, Sage. Now you see what I'm saying, and it's it's a blessing that I got a chance to. You know, I got blessed with opportunities. So that's that's where I raised my children at. You know, but living up there is very few people that look

like my neighbor Barondad, she lived down street. You know, Um, Sugar Ray Leonard, you know ship like that, you know. Um. Sitting back on my porch seeing these youngsters man, these kids and they're having fun. It's like we used to leave the projects to go trick or treat, you know, um, because my older homeboys made it dangerous. That's people keep a call. We just gonna put in work. I ain't talking about going to McDonald's or putting work to rep

the neighborhood. You feel what I'm saying. I know what, I know what Chicken previous lay, I knew what the fourth of July, was like, yeah, I don't stay at home. You know where I live now, where I raised my children that right now, Um, it's it's it's a little bit different. And um and people say, are you gonna tell your kids about your previous life? I said, when they don't have to understand, I said, because you know

they're gonna read. They're gonna read daddy's book. You know, I wrote, Um, some of the stuff that I get a chance to do when I get a chance to go out there to a university or a different country to go look at their penal system and wonder what I've done, because they want to have a blueprint, you know, so they want to know that. So when they asked me, um, you know who ever thought you asked my opinion of how can I add some ship to a prison, um for a re entry programs for our inmates to um

to use because you've been successful in it. So um, they're foreign field between. But I do get a chance to go do that. You see what I'm saying. Um, Um, we're just giving them for an important person to cut off. Because people need this information. That's what this show was all the semblance of information what's the name of your book? Oh? The name of my book is called an Inside Job from Life and Amaze to an Amazing Life. What could

people go first? They can go purchases at www dot mr d J for red dot com m R d J v E R R E t T dot com. They can go get that right there, and we can have a link right there in the description. We have a link for the podcast and description. So check for that. Man. You know, this has been incredible, man, Man, and I really you know, I thank you for coming through and sharing this information with us, Man, because it's very important. We're gonna have you back again. I appreciate that, Man,

I think was one quick thing. All close with this. Man. Um, I'm a clinical supervisor. I'm got to school and I got some education from my belt. Because can't nobody take that from you the films, am Um. I'm a clinical supervisor and I get these inmates ready. That's all I do. I work with the mind. I said they will never this this mc RP would never hire me. They hired me. I've been working at two years and the success rate is fucking ridiculous because I have the blueprint and I'm

one of them. I go to work. I wore a tie every day I go to work. I model away and closing February six, I'm I'm the clinical part. I'm the clinical part. Right. They bring these guys in and I issue them out to my staff. Right, they're all they're all counselors. They're all clinical counselors. I look at the birthday on there, and I say, April second, nineteen and one. I look at the name. It's Cold defending my home boy, the one who pointed me out. M hmm.

Here I am twenty eight years later to the day on I said, I said, make sure he's the last one that comes to my office, comes to me because I had to do a clinical assessment on him. He comes in my office and look like he saw ghosts and then ship, I'll tell him to sit down. He looks at me like I'm looking at you. He's tall, you know, talk brother, you know. I was like, this is Bizarres, and you know what the day is, He says, February six. I see. I said, man, before we start,

let me apologize to you. And he said for what. He still got the orange jumps, So don't he say for what? I let me apologize for my behavior and forgiving you something that you couldn't handle the consequences which forced you to do something you don't want to do. It was based on fear. I forgive you. I said, twenty years did not break me. Twenty years and my brave dog. And he looked at me. I said, who would. I would have never thought that will be in this position.

I said, numbers, numbers, February seen you in my office. I'm here to help you with your thinking, your values and beliefs. I held on to this. You're telling on me, you're bringing me to the lifestyle, and you're telling on me. So I forgive you. I said, do you forgive me? I need your forgiveness. And you just said, yeah, that's the man ship right there. Yeah, because you know the thing meals nothing happened seeing and I noticed for effect

man because we're nothing like that. But I know I forgave him because we all have these journeys in life man like James said, this is like a book, right, but nothing happens in this story that we're living right now. Nothing happens in this reality we're living by action, like I just didn't meet you him by accident, like this didn't meet you by accident. Some people are there for a season. Some people are there for the whole duration of that book. However, long with he is, you know

how long with hels. And we have to be able to recognize that, will be conscious of it that nothing is about mistake. Everything is part of a plan. For every failure, there's a lesson, not of You can't look at it as a failure. It's a lesson, you know what I mean, For every victory you have to look at and learn from. This is a continuous learning process, man. And it's just amazing how everything works. It was a blessing man. And you know, Um, I told my mama.

I told my mama and she was like, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus. And I said, you know, I said, I said down, Yeah, that was it, you know, yeah, let's I forgive you. It fucked him up because I'm asking for his forgiveness, you know, you know what I'm saying. And he's I forgive you as I forgive you too. So we grew up together, you know you. But yeah, that's that's about it. And I spread the word for real,

and I want to thank um. Thank you James for having me with Thank you knowing for having me and on Gangs to chronicles, you know, and hopefully that something that I said will affect or reach you know, the viewers. I'm quite sure a lot of things you said would. Uh. I can't get my point across without them hearing your point and everybody else just sit at the table with their views and values on ready yet now and it's working.

It's working. And I guarantee you this just just when running, this episode's gonna work, bro because a lot of good things came out of seventeen years. So people just gotta understand. We take these rides and they all mean something. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, But we just we just took those rides in different cards, but we arrived in the same motherfucker place. Man. We're trying to get back and trying to put a band aid on what we you know, what we show up, you know what I'm saying,

and if we don't do that, we lost. So with us doing what we're doing, and man, I would I wish nothing but the best. And we got to do a part two here because it's so much to you that these cats realn't need to hear well. I'm just seeing the thing man, the dynamic that you too add Man. I really want a man like you guys need to go and road together. Let's do it. I'm pretty sure. Man, it's a lot of you know. I tell him I love having conversations with him, man, because I can always

tell him that he's an onion of me. It's like you peel back those layers. Man, you just like this dude is not that you think he was because C James. I think people get a certain impression of him and they think that's what it is. I'm saying, No, it's one of the people's brothers. I think you want me. I mean, we want to these people that you for me. You know what I'm saying. So don't so do yourself

a favorite, don't prea judge. You know what I mean that you're doing yourself with the service you so um um you know him and you James um again, man um, I could do it. I can't do it by myself. I really, I really want to thank both of you guys for having this, this podcast, this Gangster Chronicles. I really want to I really I really appreciate that and what you guys are transmitting for real is you gots are transmitting the bank keeping your palms down because you

guys are helping a lot of people. Yes, there's a story that goes along with it, but it's the depth and way that you guys bring. And I want to say thank you because um, I'm a fan of gangster chronicles. I don't know, so you guys appreciate it, man, And that's the whole purpose of the story. And that's what I tell people, because you know, we talked to all the fans out there, so wherever you email, it comes to you an answer. Man. Not tell them this is

not glorification of it. Don't take the wrong stuff from this is not here, you know, because they want to. You know, some of these people who watched this show, they want everything to be shooting my bang bang, and it's not about that. If that's all you get them from it, then that men, either we're doing something wrong or your frequency is all right, you know what I mean. You need to open up a little bit more. Jill part to part to pick