EP 123: Teach Them Their Worth w/April Richie

bixtails from the streets. Hello, Welcome to the Gangster Chronicles podcast, the production of My Heart Radio and Black Effect Podcast Network. Make sure you download the I Heart Apple, subscribe to the Gangster Chronicles for my Apple users, hit the Purple Michael your front screen, subscribe to the gainst the Chronicles and leave a five star rate in the comment. We like to welcome every one to another episode against the

Chronicles podcast. You know with my player partner Jake, and once again m C eight is out there with the kids at football practice, but he promised his return his Monday, So y'all joined me and letting them know that we're giving them a knuckle sandwich if you don't show back, if I'm just playing. But he to taking care of the babies, and um, we don't talk about it much on this show where you guys know we all fathers, but we never talked about the relationships that we have

with our daughters, which is very important because you got daughter, James, correct. Yeah. Was the relationship with her always a little bit different than it was the boys. My daughter was my closest, you know what I'm saying, because I had the privilege of raising her for seven and a happy ish whenever mama, you know what's going through her issues, So it taught

me a lot, you know. When man, it's crazy. When my daughter first started administration, I didn't know what the hell to do, So it was totally different for me and I straight freaked out. But just being there for that, you know what I'm saying, and I'm running to my sister then, man, what I wanted to do, you know what I'm saying, And they was like boy, calmed down. Boys. Yeah, but you know, just being around my you know, my daughter, you know, she was in the car with me every day.

You know, when I was up in the hood, she was in the cala with me every day. Why her mama went to work, and when her mama went off and did her thing, she was with me every day. Your daughter is a real special, same thing with mine. Um I guess from the ages of like one six, I want to do everything with it. When she first went to school, I hadn't even drive and drop her off. I would walk with her up to hold her hand, hold her way to the class start. That's like I

didn't I didn't want to let her go. And the reason I'm mentioning our relationships with our daughters and M. C eight has daughters as well. As we're here with Ms April Rick, he sees the author of the book teach them their worth. A father is his daughter's is love. How you doing, April? I'm fine, Well, I'm happy to

be here. Sure now you we've been talking a little bit off camera, off the show and everything, and when you wrote this book, the thing that touched me with it is that you said that dad is his daughter's first love exactly, and that goes so and I started thinking about the dynamic between fathers and daughters. It's usually, however, the dady use that's the type of um man that the daughter winds up hooking up with. Right in some ways, Yeah, some ways we like for instance, it's not so much

it's because you're never gonna find a man like your father. Never, It's impossible. I've been told that you're looking for a man like your father. No, I'm not looking. I'll never find one exactly like my father. But those qualities is what we're looking for, those qualities that our father have. Is what if you have a good father, a loving and karen father, all the qualities that he has, of the qualities that you're gonna look for and are liustions ship,

Yeah exactly. And that's the thing, you know, And I thought about the reversal of that too, you know, because you have women that have issues, um like you know, the sisters that may be out there doing their things, selling their bodies, um the ones that may run into drug addiction or either into intive abusive relationships too. So it kind of works both ways. Would you say something blaming it on the father's shand is the father fulk

that she's out there like that? You know, it's not it's not all but his fault because people make choices, but he's a big part. He could be a big part of the reason. What happens when you have a father, that dude that does everything, and then the mama breaks off, father breaks off the relationship with mama, and now the baby becomes upon. You can't see your baby if you don't this and that, if you don't this, the child supports ship. Um, come on, man, it's you know, some

fathers can be fathers. Because you have too many mothers out there that's worried about something that exactly and a lot of those women they have something's wrong that they probably didn't have a father because they don't understand. Otherwise they would understand the dynamics that James is talking about. It wouldn't be that way. They would understand how important it is for him to be in his daughter's life or who whatever, man, who, whichever, whoever it is, they

would understand that it's important. You can't use a child as a pond, you know, it's not gonna get you anywhere. Ultimately, is just hurting the child. No, you can't. But you know you have those girls and we all knew them girls in high school that was like known for kind of being kind of promiscuous, a lot of those girls that knew there was like that had issues with their father or either had abandonment issues, their fathers wasn't at home with them, their fathers was locked up, and stuff

like that. So I think ultimately a lot of women may find themselves trying to replace that father figure, and they do. You are absolutely right. Norm a lot of women, especially dogs, that are promiscuous. A lot of the reasons why, it's because as they're looking for they're trying to understand. They don't know. They didn't have nobody to model what a man was, so they had to try to create that man in their own head and figure out, Okay, is this what a man? Is? This what a man

is supposed to be, even controlling man. Some women think that controlling means he loves me, you know, they think that. I've been told that before by women, that well, he loves me. You know, I didn't. I thought that that's what a man was supposed to do. You know, I'm supposed to do these things. I'm supposed to do whatever he says. But a lot of them have told me that the reason why they dealt with certain situations is because they had to figure out what a man was.

They didn't have a father at home to teach him that. So you know, fathers get the bad end of the stick here because you know and and and let just say, father, ain't there. What's the strength of a black woman? Don't you know what I'm saying, Marty step up and she's gonna take care of flock, right, So what what what? What daddy don't teach mama teaching? I had my mother raised five and her three sons and and and one daughter was bad in the streets, hanging, but my mama

still did it. You feel me. My mama taught me a lot of street ship. She made me understand a lot of things, even with our problems. So that's what I'm saying, a black woman, the strength of a black woman, you can't measure that, you feel me, because she's so many, so many ways. It's so many things to her. Yeah, they do make a lot of stuff. Shake um on

one thing that he was amazing. I ain't gonna get too much off topic about the black women is like I thought about it one day, I said, man, how does somebody manage you know, they gotta pay for their rent. That might be in California, it could be eight dollars for one bed in my apartment, right and you may have two kids with a due. It ain't that it's non existent. That's not helping nothing financially. They gotta get

took care of. They need food, clothing, and shelter. And you wondered sometimes and they may be working a couple of jobs and taking care of the kids on top of that. And usually it's a grandma somewhere in the cut helping out. So then you got another black woman the background is, you know, helping to make stuff possible. But you know, we're not talking about those type of situations. We're talking about the situations to where because sometimes a

father can all that leads to it. Though, norm everything we're talking about leads to this book because and some of the situations we can be fathers because of the mother. You know, I'm saying and and being a parent that there is totally different from forty years ago, fifty years ago, you know, And I can speak for myself being a father, and I'm in the streets. I gave the streets more time than I did, you know, with my son, with my first kid, and then when my second one came Okay,

solow down a little bit. The third one came, Okay, I'm gonna cut to Jered Carroll. I'm gonna move and I'm gonna try to do this, but no serious talk. You know, I'm speaking from experience being a father. I gave everything I had, I gave my last I went out there robbing and steel to get what they didn't have. And then at the end of the day, when your kids grow up, you and I thought I taught my daughter everything. I thought she was gonna be the coldest

book that walked around. You know what I'm saying, because I always told my daughter, you don't want no man like your daddy. You don't want no man like your uncle's. This is it right here. You see how your daddy and your uncle's is. You turn your head and run. You feel me? So, you know, thinking that she understands when when when I released her, when I let her go back to her mother, after the time I had with her and spent with her, she got pregnant and

I didn't even know it. I'm you know, I'm like, damn, where did I go wrong on that one? But she just wanted to be what her daddy was, what her mama was, and she daddy was her first love, and she just went gangster. You know, my daughter would fight boys, she wouldn't fight girls, you know what I'm saying. So it hurt me to lose my daughter to the system, the same system I went through. You feel me, So

I didn't know how to relate to that. Right now on the day I can't talk to you on the phone, and these people saying you are talking to her made in the correctional I have sucked that. I don't. I wanted more for my daughter, but she felt victim to the street, just like I did. So I always you always tell me too. You feel like if your daughter would have stayed, your company stayed, she would have been everything would have been. I would have had her planet.

I'd have had her planet. But it's never too late. You can still do it now. She come home, like I said, when she come home and get out of prison. I went to prison one time and I realized it wasn't for me. So it's damn soon not gonna be a career for her. You know what I'm saying. I got her. I'm not dealing with this jail ship. I'm not been Uh pamp you because you knew better. And just like when I went to prison, I didn't have

my mom and daddy. You know what I'm saying. I had my son mother, and thank God for her, I was good. I was comfortable in prison. I had my levis and my tennis shoes and my packages, you know what I'm saying. And and long as her mama doing that, Okay, I'm cool. So I'm just waiting on her date so maybe I can come back in her life and be her father at a years old, nine years old, I'm still your daddy, Still got time. It's never too late, never. I mean, you know this, this right here is is

It's a lot. This is where. This is where I mean, this is a topic that touched me because my daughter not here. You know what I'm saying with me physically, you know what I'm saying. And when she come home, I don't know how mad Am. I am I going to act like a kid in in a chockolate factory. Am. I'm gonna be happy that she home. No, I want to see how my daughter grew orf or if her situation made her grow, you know what I'm saying. But

I can only be her father. You know what I'm saying to start from today about yesterday, what happened yesterday. It starts when she comes on. You know, with all that being said, you don't heard these two men's perspectives on everything. What was your inspiration to write this book? Okay, well, recently I lost my father in October. I lost my father. He was my hero um and I had been rying many of many books. I've always been wanted to be

a writer. I wanted to write books, screenplays, and I started like maybe four But when he passed away, I just had this desire to tell my story, you know, to help other to help other daughters and other fathers understand the importance because, like I told Norman James earlier, we don't hear that we always hear about mothers. Now, this is not to bass mothers at all. We're talking

about fathers today. Mothers always gonna be on, you know, I mean, come on, Mother's Day is one of the biggest holidays, you know, But fathers need to understand how important they are. So the reason why I wrote the book was because my father was such He made such an impact in my life as a little girl, adolescent

and woman still to this day. It's a lot of decisions that I make based on what I dealt with with my father, his wisdom, him his lessons, you know, the care that he gave me, the attention that he showed me. It's very important. And like I was saying, it's never too late to do that. So this was my inspiration. Also, there's daughters out there that didn't have a father. James just mentioned that. What about and then also what about the daughters who mothers don't want the

fathers to see them? Well, we got to change that. That's not good because it's not about you and the and the and your boyfriend or your husband. It's about your child. We gotta put them first. Because that girl or that that girl we're talking about, we an' talking about boys, but I'm just gonna mention them too. They're gonna grow up to be adults one day, you know, and they need to understand where how to be or

he needs to understand how to be a man. And she needs to understand what a woman should deal with, how much a woman should take. And that's what a father teaches your daughter. He doesn't teach her how to be a lady. He teaches her how to be treated, how she should be treated, you know, and so it is, you know, all right, hold on, hold on, let's drop a commercial real quick. We gotta pay some bills in here. How do you father to teach his daughter how to

be a woman. He can't mother teaches you, you know, your mother, like norm said, your grandmother. Because some of us didn't have our mothers or our fathers, you know, but we might have somebody. Anybody has always had somebody in their life. I'm sure that they looked up to whether it was a grandmother, big mama, big daddy, me ma. You know so, April, you're telling me that I can't instill in my daughter whether a woman should be or the type of just say advances. I want a specific woman,

you know what I'm saying. I can't explain to my daughter what type of woman I want to reflect on her, just for her to just say, yeah, my daddy wanted a woman like that. I want a man that wants a woman, not a boy that wants to just play around. That he can daughter, Well, you know what you can

teach well, you know you you really can't. What you can do is teach your your your whole role in your daughter's life is to teach her what her worth is, is is, to teach her what self respect is, to teach her how the difference between a man that you got to stand at the door with your shotgun with or a man that's gonna come into that house and respect your daughter and you, and when and how you want him to take care of your daughter? You know,

who cares about that, that's what you want. So to answer the question as far as teaching her what kind of woman she should be, you you want to teach her that by the way you treat her. That's how she's gonna know what kind of man she should deal with. She's gonna know that by the way her father treats her. You know, if he if he says, if he communicates with her. It's really important that you sit down to

communicate with your daughter. Don't judge her, don't talk at her, talk to her, you know, um, let her know that you you you want to know what's going on in her life. I talked to a lot of men, and even my doctor recently told me, what you brought a book? What is it about? I told him it's something called teach them of their work. You know. He's like, well, what is that about. I told him. He's like, oh

my god, I need one of them. I'm dealing with girls right now that they have boyfriends, and every sense they got boyfriends, they don't deal with me no more. I don't know what's going on. The communication ain't there, you know, and I want to know what's going on. I still want them to know that, you know, I'm still their daddy, you know. So I told him sit

down and talk to him. The best thing you could do is start asking them about the guy that they're dealing with, you know, so you can learn more about them and make sure they're being treated right. That's a hard rule for That's a hard peal for day to swallow, because I know, prior to my little girl, you know, coming of age, I always said she but not ever had no boyfriend when you and so when she did get one, I didn't feel I got thoughts gonna beat because I saw the way the young man was and

he had good parents. The thing that struck me good with him was his parents cared about him like I care about my daughter. So if he was over there, I was getting a call from Miss Pop saying are you home, Mr Steele, was my son is saying that you said it was cool he came over. I liked that, and I'd get advice versa. She said, she going over there, y'all at home, because I'm not gonna make it convenient for y'all to go make me no grandfather all earlier

and stuff, you know what I mean. So I'm gonna make sure that we don't get y'all to me the my opportunities, you know what I mean. But my daughter, and she really liked this young man, but she decided to transfer schools for her senior year and he graduated last year, and it was a situation when she told him, I'm gonna transfer over here because of this, this and the third. You know, he made a big deal with

why are you going over there? I don't want you to go over there because this, this and that, and she said, but what are you saying about me? She was really offending, and she broke up with him. I'm talking about crying the whole first two days and everything. But she says, I can't beat with nobody that would just stopped me from stop me from doing whatout doing. And then she said she felt that that was disrespectful because she said, you know, what are you telling me?

You think? I'm like, like, why would I be because it's boys over there, boys everywhere exactly. But she didn't like that, you know, because she she I ain't gonna let no relationship at this time. The only seventeen tell me that I shouldn't get education and I shouldn't go where I think it's best for me to get. So boy, going about your business, let me hand my business, and

I about the relationship later. And you know, I missed the ear hustle right at night because you can hear everything, you know, because she wasn't talked to him, and then you know, I hear to find what like, you know, she talked to him and then she got him kind of on the speaker, so I can hear everything he's saying. So I'm staying out the door. He's like, well, I'm just gonna go to the army because I love you so much. I don't know. And he said, that's fine.

If you do that and it's gonna make you a better person, go do it, but don't do it for me. Do that for yourself. Oh good, he said, And I said, okay, I and that's a lot of times as a father, because you know, it's a lot of pops out that it's real strict with their daughters. I just know, to me, that's the wrong way to do stuff because I don't want my kids ever to sneak and do ship. That's for people getting drunk. I don't want to. I want

them to be able to communication. So if you got a boyfriend, yeah, I would rather have a little boyfriend over at my house where I keep buying on them and look at him on my phone from upstairs like, yeah, you're gonna sitting a little too closely and telling the move over a little bit to the left. You know, I would I would rather be able to see you and have you in my house and have you around. Sure, I take you all the movies and you know where my daughter is at, versus me telling them all you

can't do that. It's like you don't know which your key is capable of exactly. Sure, would you agree that is really not the kids because your daughter is gonna act out. It starts with the mother of the father, definitely, you know what I'm saying. Definitely starts with the mother and the father, And like these days, we got mommy tworking with their daughters, Mommy on the motor shackle shape with their daughters exactly. And see, and those mothers are

the ones that that us that no better. If you know somebody like that, you need to put their crown is falling off. You need to help them slide it back on and from sliding back on, because queens do raise queens. James has talked about what about a mother, what about a single mother? I was a single mother, you know, I had a boy. But still it was you know, it was difficult, you know, trying to raise a boy. But queen's race queen. So to answer james question,

you can't have a queen without having a king. There was a king somewhere, Okay, whether that king, whether that queen was taught by her grandmother, her auntie, or whoever, a friend of the family, whoever it was, she still a woman still has the ability. I'm not saying that you if you don't have a father, you you out of luck. You know, I'm not saying and that that's not what the book is about. That's why one of the chapters in the book specifically talks about daughters fatherless

daughters because we gotta be there for them. You know, those are the ones that Norman was talking about that sometimes don't understand what love, what true love is, what love looks like, what love sounds like. They don't understand that they're trying to figure it out, any kind of dealing with all kind of stuff. When we recognize that, we gotta help him. It's our duty as women to help one another. It's a father's duty when he sees his daughter is her crown has fallen off that he puts.

He put that invisible crown on her the day she was born. And that's what I try I'm trying to get fathers to realize in my book. That was another reason why I wrote the book. I had an imaginary crown on my head. Nobody could see it, but I knew it was there. I mean, I got Valentine's Day candy for fifty three years of my life from my father. When when when I was getting it, I was happy. You know, I didn't think I was gonna be thinking

about it now. You know, I didn't know that it was gonna impact my life the way it did the way it has now. So it's a lot of things he did for me. It's the small things. It's not always the product bags and the Gucci bags and Louis Batton's and all that. It ain't about that. It's the small things that matter. So yeah, and that's the truth

right there. And the thing else, I realized to my daughter that I had a whole lot of influence on her because just seeing the way that she interacts, she carries herself and she has a certain confidence to herself that she's not going with nothing because she grew up watching me open the door for her motherly, you know, opened the door for her mother cooking. And you know

I watched dishes too. I ain't We're not. My wife ain't going for that chauconistic stuff to worry, you know, because I do the majority of cooking, and I do something my wife to the majority to clean them. But I do some cleaning to my wife feels. You know, women get upset about the little miss things. You know, we leave a platon and sin. They'd walk around with an attitude and one you getting the whole fight, the

whole weekend over over a couple of singing. You don't be oblivious to what the hell they're walking around mad about. You know, so I try to. Yeah, I try to be that example in the house. So would just you know, just keeping everything wondered. But I do get my place in the house is the man of the house, you know what I mean. But that don't mean I sit around because it's a lot of cats that I want

that man respect. But don't do the man things. You can't be sitting on the couch all day playing video games and your wife going to work and you get home, Mr mom, you know what I mean, babysitting that. But you gotta you want to be the king, you gotta play the role. I said, y'all, y'all, y'all sound good and and and it's one hunting. But I'm for the fathers that got the raw deal. I'm for the fathers that can't be that king to their daughters. I'm for

the fathers that get that. You know, a woman ago, she's so mad at you should go filed child put on you knowing you're a truck driver and you can't pay you goddamn bu our support to take your driver license now, and you took my manhood because I can't work. What I look like to my daughter? Now? You know what I'm saying. So it's like the system is here to break us down one way, whatever side of the track we get on, whatever corner we turned, you know,

you can't win. But you got a lot of men out here that wants to be pops, wants to be your father to their kids, you know what I'm saying. But you just have these women that that snatch them away from us, and we can't be So now all of thematically, automatically were dead beat to the world, to the society, to to these people that put it, put you on child support, the county, of the system, whatever the funk they want to call it. And I just think there's a lot of men out there that gets

the raw fucking and we can't be father. And even with that, even with the child support stuff, you know, you feel you getta due. And I knew a kid that was going to work, and when I tell you, I don't know how he paid his bills, but it's like he only had like two or three hundred dollars left over in this check every week, ship, I gotta check for sixty nine dollars. You know what I did. I took off my ship and I quit. And I think it's one of the things to wear because I'm

gonna tell your stuff. Wouldn't have worked out with me and my old lady. She wouldn't have to put no people on me because I will take care of myne regardless. And I think that's how she would be. And I think my wife, I know for a fact, she the type. She wouldn't go put no people on me, you know what I mean? She would be like, hey, you know what,

that's a lot of women like that. But but let's okay, So what do we do when we have a If you have a woman that doesn't want you to see your child and the only way you're gonna see your child is if you go down to the child support building and tell them what you're gonna do. Are you going to just say forget it, I ain't gonna see the child, or are you gonna go down there and do what you have to do inspite it might be wrong.

You know that she did you like that? But what do you think your daughter would have wanted you to do. I'm just saying if he was in a situation like that exactly exactly, the child support do whatever it is. It's it's you know, it's I mean, some women you have to do I know somebody dealing with that now, you know, and it's wrong. You shouldn't have to. You should be able to see your child whenever you want to see your child. So to me, when a man goes into a court room demanding to see his child,

I can't. I know he's gonna get everything he's asking for. You know, that's that's a man. That's a man when he does that, that shuts down that woman because that's ignorant to use a child as a pond in the first place. So she deserves everything. She deserves, all of the holidays being taken away and all that. You know, when you want to take away your child from from somebody that's gonna teach them something, what happens because the woman ain't thinking about what's gonna happen there in life.

She's just thinking about the love that she got for you, you know, which is crazy. You gotta put your child first, and child always conspire. So uh, those out there that they're doing that, and you know, I hope they start to to to rethink, you know, those ways, because it's it's not good. All right, Let's take a quick commercial break,

we'll be back. It's something I want people to rethink too, because she's kinging a keyword, right and this is all off Basically, I gotta talk about it, you know, ritual, the vitamins I've been taking and I almost all his weight. Yeah, I'm looking good and everything, man, you know, because yeah

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out there for y'all. Regularly scheduled programming. Alright, So yeah, you know, another thing at another subject I want to get on in two and and and kind of cover that's in my book where I talked about the respect. You know, how a father teaches a daughter self respect, self esteem, Uh, A lot of daughters, you know, they're suffering. We have a lot of daughters that are suffering from like me. For instance, when I was younger, like I put this in, you know, I wanted to be a

little personal in my book. So I had to tell little stories about my own life and things challenges that I had, you know. One of them was I wanted to gain weight. I wanted a big booty and big helps like all my other friends, you know. And I remember talking about that, talking to my father about it, telling them I need to get I don't know why I'm so little. My father would always tell me, beauty

isn't then the eye of the beholder. You wanna be all right, you know, way to come on when it when it comes on, rush it, you know, and if it doesn't, embrace who you are the way God made you. Even tell me all these little things, you know, But still I listened when I was younger. But once I got into boys, things changed. I started get taking you know, using drastic bedrooms. Like one day I met somebody that told me I gained weight off of these pills. I said,

what kind of pills? Some some type of pills that were turned out to be for psychiatric patients patients. I'm sorry, but I started taking these pills to gain weight, started gaining weight, eating all I mean, eating the house up. My mother swore I was smoking marijuana, but I was taking these pills. All of a sudden, my feet start tingling, hand started tingling, strands of hair started coming out. I'm like, what's going on? I got scared? Who did? I go

to my father? Because that's what we do when we have fathers that we communicate with, that communicate back with as well, that's who we go to. There are heroes. My father was everything he I felt like he knew. He was a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, everything, you know. So I went to him, taught him, Dad, I'm taking these pills, you know were told him what I was doing. He said what, So he talked to me about it.

Tell me what kind of pills they were. Actually, that's how I found out they were appeals for a psychiatric patients patients, and I stopped taking the pills. So I'm just saying all that to say that fathers need to tell that they're the ones that when they tell their daughter that she's beautiful. No other man is gonna be able to tell her that she's not. When they tell their daughter that you are worth more than gold, you are, you know, hold your head up high, keep yourself esteem high.

No matter what mistakes you make in life. No man is gonna be able to tell to tell her different. So she's gonna value herself. That's what fathers teach daughters. Another another something with Norman me about the reason why I wrote the book too. I remembered when I started writing a book, when Kobe Bryant died, a lot of basketball players, football players, all kind of entertainers were talking about how they wanted to they were pleasing to be

girl dad's. And I thought that was beautiful. You know, that that his you know, his influence on them and and how he was with his daughters. It inspired others to want to do the same, even the fans and other people. So um I applauded them for for wanting to be better fathers to their daughters and be girl dads, you know, because it's very important because, like I said, a father teaches his daughter her word all day long,

you know. And if you got a daddy that some some women have daddies, that's in the house, but still ain't a daddy. You know I've talked. Yeah, they're absence. So the book is, you know, for the incarcerated father, because you still and be a father. You can make phone calls. You still can call your daughter once a week to make sure she's doing Okay, do you need to talk to me about anything? How's your life going,

you're dealing with any boys? What's going on? So he can get a field of what's you know, hopefully has a good relationship with the mother, so she can let him know what's going on. He can write to her. If he can't call her, he can write the military father, the single father, the father that's not in the house, the divorce father, stepfather, whoever it is. You have the

ability to change your daughter's life. And sometimes you just got that daddy that that worked too much, that this ain't at home, that he seemed like he absently, but he works so much that when he come home, I'll want to do his crash sometimes exactly know what I'm saying. Yeah, and that's and that's absolutely that happens a lot. But even you know, the hard working man that's working them double still gotta understand that if you got a daughter,

you gotta take some type of time out with her. Well, you know, one thing I don't like it, and it actually, you know, don't not to just get too personal with it, but I don't like. Yes, like, I got a daughter, this thing. You know, she's not big, but you know her mom is to always tell you need to lose weight, you need to be down this, need to be down that. And I kind of told my wife to chill out with that. I said, obviously these looks, you know, and

like she ain't got a little boys that don't. You know. I just think sometimes stuff like that, if you're doing it for a health thing, you can't. But I think you can put stuff from people's head like that. Oh yeah, I agree. I believe in people eating like I don't believe in that started starving and putting little keys on diets and all that stuff. You know what I mean. I think they should just be able to just be

who they are. And you know, now, if it's a health thing, I don't think you should be able to be out there feeding your kid kool aid and you know, Hamburgers at Hamburger meet every day every hour. But I just think sometimes we just get so um, what's the word I'm looking for? Um, where we just get to the point where we start nitpicking that little thing. Sometimes it's bad for him. And you mentioned how important is it to have a girl where of self esteem is

on point? It's very important because it affects her life and when when she becomes a woman, if you you got that's one that's one role and the father is really important that the father plays is increasing and doing whatever he can to encourage his daughter to always have a high level of self esteem. Because you have daughters out there that like just say you may be dark

skinned it. You know, you got women as dark skinned it they feel like I'm too dark, you know because of the stigma that you know it it's been around and yeah something yeah you know, and and a lot of dark skinned women which you know, like they'll tell you stories about being how you know, Uh, he went for the light skinned one, you know, instead of coming to me. So he ended up with this one because

she was smaller, a thinner. And so when you start doing your kids or not talking about yours norm but I'm just saying in general, when you it's been so important that if your daughter has dark skin, Tell her that she's beautiful, if she's if she's overweight, don't tell her that she's fat, you know, tell her do it, do it in another way, you know, maybe talk to her about health, you know, and making sure that you you know that you that you stay healthy, because it's

so important. Because if your father tells you that, if your father is telling you that you're stupid, if he's telling you that you're too fat, if he's telling you that you got basking you need to work on it. What do you think it's gonna happen when she meets that man that starts selling her that me and my daughter beauty one is creeping to it, don't spot late night. Come on, mama, let's get us a donut. You know what I'm saying because I think it's very I think

it's very important. I think sometimes we just get too pity. Yeah, we do, because you gotta understand that, you know, because when you do that, the tone that you're settings, it stays with him. It stays with a person when you especially from my father. I know that my mother was Certain things I can talk to my mother about, certain

things I can talk to my father about. And I really feel like if my father ever, Like if I told my mother something about a guy that I was dealing with and she said, don't be stupid, I'm not gonna take it like I would have took it if my father would have told me, don't be stupid, you know, because I don't know what that is. I don't know what it is. I'd have to talk to a few other women about that. But it's something about when your mother says something like that, tell you versus your father

or a man period. You know. Now, him telling me that I'm stupid is really gonna stick in there, like, oh my god, my dad think I'm stupid. My mother telling me I'm stupid, Well, I'm gonna be thinking like, Mama, why do you say that? You know what? I noticed sometimes because I don't get a twist that my wife is a loving woman to love and she don't be on my daughter like that. I'm just, you know, saying my thoughts are Sometimes the relationship with the mom and

daughter can get a little complicated. I noticed when the daughter turned around sixteen seventeen, because you get complicated with the men and their boys. Because I know both my boys, I had to touch both of them up around that age when I'm had to touch him up when he was eighteen. The other one I had to touch him up sixteen seventeen because he thought he was Mr. Big Man. Yeah, exactly when we go to the same stuff. Women go through the same thing, the same thing, The same thing

happens with my mother. We have a ready clause relationship. But at the same time, I guess I should say, like I said, a woman teaches you how to be a lady. Your mother teaches you how to be a lady. My mother taught me how to be a lady, and she told me how to when I needed to act a certain way one second we got he taught me how to do it anyway. So yeah, I mean it is, you know, daughters go through things with their mothers. It's just I don't know. I think it's because we're women.

We're women. It's not like we're competing with one another or nothing like that. But you know, women understand women like me and understand women are from Mars, that the women are from Mars, and guys are definitely from being there. Yeah, because the thing is, you know, y'all go two things. You know, James, James that because I'm gonna tell you. I go to sleep. We go to bed on a Friday night, James don't have a perfect evening. I'm talking about.

I don't took her out, you know, Friday night. You know how I do, lady take her out? We kicking. We go on our day. Now I make sure Friday nights everything Now we chicken had a good time night before, every something, everything I went on. I wake up a round eight or nine and she'd be looking at me. Man, I'll be wondering what if I've done between the time I went to bed and we've been sleep unless I'm sleepwalking to something and she won't never see what's going on,

Like wait, what is that right there? Well, haven't you ever thought, just as a man, it could be the attention that she won't while y'all in the bed, you could just put put put your arm to me, but for your information attention And I thought you know everything was good just because you you have relations, don't mean it stops once you bust one. It starts, it continues. You you after let me say this and we way

off of this. Where we at right now? It's the question we don't get one on the show to off. This woman asked, well, what a woman won't man? And you know, some of us brothers don't understand what a woman really wants when she in the bed. And ain't all that necessarily have to be touchy, touchy, lick licky. It just could be holding. You don't want to feel that, man, You know that the mores and just feel secure and when you do all that, because I'm gonna tell she's

gonnawn up that. I'm gonna tell you something about if mine have a dream about something, I get the heat that then I find out later on that it was some crazy dream or something that happened. She went downstairs and saw a couple of sing They just throw off another just like kind of like, man, you tripping up and the probably won't even meet because if it's my oldest son, if it's my son, is he is, Oh, it's cool, ain't nothing to him and not and that

I love when that happens. And I say, that wasn't even mine, that was he his, and then she gets looking like, oh it was him, It's okay. I said, okay, so you're showing favoritism with your baby boy, and that like love though that sound like y'all got a good relationship and shot the Yeah we're cool. You just need to go up a little little the extra mileth Now, you went to school with James, right when James went to school? When school, Yeah, James went to school. I

went up there to hang out. He just came a lunchtime. Used to fight exactly when he went to school, when he came up there to fight. Because that's the more. Is that only the only time we seen you giants? Remember you walking to no classes? Never I walked to one class. The punky opened the door from me when oh boy was mentioning with her and she uh, I told her, I'm just gonna knock on the door, just come open me. And she opened the door from me. A little boy. Don't that as so? Man? Man, So

let me ask you. You talked about your father's influence, and you went to high school and compter exactly. I'm pretty sure you didn't have no gang allegiance to nobody I had that. You know. I'm glad you mentioned this norm because a father does not having a good father. Because I really want to make sure I don't send this message. It does not stop you from having heart aches. It doesn't stop you from dinner. My father was the kind of man that he stayed out of heat. I

guess I could say he trusted me. He knew that he put everything in me and it was up to me to utilize everything that he gave me, make the decisions to right decisions off of it. He talked to me about every type of man that I could possibly deal with an encounter and how to handle it, how not to be influenced by certain things. So I had my ownline, you know. And yes I did I dealt with uh, you know guys that gang bang? Yes I did. Oh, so you did deal with that? Now was it? Did

you ever hear your pops voice and to back your mom? Like, I know, I shouldn't be here with this no good nigga. My daddy wouldn't be having I heard his voice in my head telling me, you know what he would think. Make sure you, you know, keep your head on the swivel. I always know what's going on around you. That's what he always saw me, and that's what I did. He knew he couldn't control, and you know, and that's very important.

You cannot when you just think, you know, when you tell when you when somebody is in love with someone and you constantly badging them about him, Normally, it's gonna push him closer to him. It's not gonna they're not it's not gonna put him my way. It's gonna push them closer. So what he did the way he you know, dealt with me and as a woman, he talked to me about what I may encounter. He talked to me

about why certain why men do certain things. And it was up to me to utilize all the wisdom and and and and talks that we had, you know, all the wisdom and a game from him. And when I dealt with certain guys, you know, he might not have been I never did go to him and tell him all, Dad, this dude is like a real game banger. I wasn't gonna do that. But at the same time, I knew what I was gonna get myself into and what I wasn't, you know, I knew how far I was gonna go.

And not think that women is naturally attracted the boys that got an element of mystery about them, and some don't. I just don't think women like punks. I don't think they necessarily got to be a game banger. I just don't think women like man and she know that it's gonna fight for it, just didn't get his ass whoop in front of exactly ya. Men like myself, I can say I want to protect her because you know what, honestly, I think women just want of motherfucker that's gonna fight

back just right, not just gonna fight. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, And it's all about how a man carry his shelf with her. You know what I'm saying. Everything you don't have to take off on Everything is not about a fight. It's just how you how you you show your maturity to shotain motherfucker's in some bullshit. Well, I'm gonna tell you when when it comes to women, and my wife broke this down to me one time.

It's certain situations that a real woman is not gonna tell you about because they may not want you to get no bullshit over something it's nothing like it may be something I may be in the store right and my wife may not tell me something to each in the car and I'm around the corner like she had tell me that dude was doing that. Why you didn't tell me? You'll to them up, and that's why I didn't tell you ask me, because you'd have been getting

drug out of the handcuff right now, you know. And then there's certain things that where something happened she feels I need to know about it. She bring it to

my attention. But that's what she told me because I should always look at the way because she schooled my boys on certain stuff, like any girl that runs to tell you everything about getting you jelous all the time because and fighting over like like get away from So I think, you know, something like this is needed because it's a lot of brothers, like James said, they want to be involved with their kids life, you know, daughters

or sons, be whatever, but they can't. They can't. And then some of them just don't know how, you know, because if you didn't have that, then how could you give it, you know, So some of them don't know how. So part of the book is also about that, which is why you know, I give examples. I'm not thinking, you know, you don't necessarily have to use the ones that I give. You can make you know your own because everybody has a gift. Everybody has something. Every man

has something that he could teach a daughter. Yes, that's real. And where can people get this book from the book is available on Amazon right now, hopefully in Barnes and Noble soon. I'm waiting to hear back from them, but right now you can go on Amazon dot com and purchase the book. Teach Them their Word by April l Ritchie, by April Richie. I'm gonna read this. Um, I'm gonna read this dedication real quick. You see, this book is dedicated to my phenomenal father, my hero, the first man

I ever loved, Preston Thelijah Richie Jr. My heart. No, daddy meant a lot to you, didn't. Yes, he did means a lot to me. And wherever he loved me a grab bag And that's that's very important. You know. He loved me a grab bag full of all kind of you know, lifelines that I can pull out of, you know, whenever I'm dealing with this, if I'm dealing with something with a man, if I'm dealing with something at the job, all kind of He he taught me so much that there's nothing that I don't think I

can handle. Like in my book, I'll talk about when he passed away, you know, and one of my close friends asked me, out of everything that he taught you, he didn't teach you about this, and you know, something like I couldn't believe that she said that to me, you know, but at the same time, it stopped me in my tracks because I was like, yeah, multiple times, so these are the things that you have to prepare your your your children for a period. And he did that.

He did that in a phenomenal way. So you know, I was lucky. Uh, you don't always have. Everybody don't have the same experience. That's why it's important to share.

And that's me. I'm gonna share of minds if I meet a woman that that needs that I noticed is you know, doing certain things to get attention, because women can be promiscuous, they can dress you know, rounchy, uh be with you like well, promiscus, being with too many men, being boristerous or whatever you know, or are doing moving too fast And it's not my place, but I'm gonna find some kind of way when I have when I'm around somebody like that or you know, and I'm talking

to him and they're telling me about the relationship that they're in. If it's something that that if Red flag goes up, I'm gonna find some kind of way to put a coatil, you know, if I can. And I think that, um, we as women should should do that

for each other. Yeah, it's only right. It's only right that we that we treat each other as you know, because I give brothers sometimes, especially if they solicit my advice, because you know, with some brothers, you gotta be real careful with that because the motherfucker feel like you're trying to one up sometimes really you're just trying to just give him some help. So the brother asked me, I'm a damn should tell him the truth because I ain't

got number of love for you guys. Want to see you just achieve the greatness that you capable of achieving. I ain't gonna never try to tell you down nothing you know and tell you nothing. So I got that's that's that's cool. But I got you got a lot of brothers out there that that's scared to be fathers. You got some brothers out there that I don't know how to love, like you know, I don't know how

to love. I didn't know how to love. But you know, let's stop using certain things in our life as an excuse. You know what I'm saying. I learned how to read so I can learn how to love, you know what I'm saying. So I'm pretty much talking to myself, you know what I'm saying. After my conversation with Mins, before she passed the respect I had for women, I went that just that high, you know what I'm saying, and elevated like a mug. And you know, being a father,

I took pride in being uh pops. I was one that didn't want to have thirty kids. My three was enough. How many grand babies they give me? I'm cool, I don't I didn't need all that. But there's a lot of brothers I think don't have this story came tell his story. So my my thing is, man, don't let nobody tell you you can't be a father. You will find a way out to be a father. If you don't, then you're using that ship as a cop out to

not be a father. Show step your game up. You want to be in your kid's life, Yeah for sure, Because I'm gonna tell you being the father is probably the most gangster thing that you can never do in life. Because I'm gonna tell you the worrying will never stop, especially when you get your daughter. Because my daughter walks on from school sometimes it's nastly. We're around that time.

I'm almost on the phone with her, from the time that she leaves that school the time she hit out door and out here in the house, I'm on the phone with her because I never stopped worrying, because it's just crazy. Motherfucker's out there and you just hear too much bad You never stopped worrying. Now where you had on social media? On social media, I'm more on Instagram, or you can go to the real April Richie on Instagram and I'll saw on Facebook, the real April Richie. Yeah,

we go for sure, get this up. Can we appreciate you coming on? I'm happy to I'm like, I'm honored, honored to be here there. When I reached ow to James, that was just greatly appreciated. Because what I can't think of a better Uh, I can't think of a better stands to use in this one. This is the Gangster Chronicles. It should be a lot of men, I mean how many I mean listeners you guys got now, what is it a million? Now? So exactly so you know, you

got a lot of men. I'm sure I listened to Granster chronicles, so I'm sure it's a lot of women listening to. But uh, for the men out there, you know, uh, because that's it. Fathers are usually the fathers that are usually effected, I hate to say it, are the and the minorities, you know, us are the black fathers, the brown fathers. You know, they deal with a lot. Now, I don't know, I'm not trying to stereotype anybody or whatever, but how many of it, how many black men are

in prison. There's a lot of our black men, so exactly of the father So that's one reason why, like I said, I mentioned in the book that you know, even incarcerated father can be a father. How many are actually taking care of the household? Yeah, exactly, so now they don't, and that's what you know, that's what's important. Also, it's important that uh we continue to even the men, you know, to respect the men. That's another something that's going on. Not trying to get off the topic, but

we got women that don't respect men. That's something that fathers teach you. My father taught me so much that I can't stand to see a man being belittle by a woman. I can't. It's it's one of my I cannot stand to see a woman be little a man in public. It's terrible. So because of the respect that I have for manhood, and that is because of my father that I have that respect for me and I know what a real man looks like. Yeah, he's something you need to know, what you need to know. It's worth.

But we appreciate it. We appreciate the wisdom. You'll make sure y'all go out and get this book. I would appreciate to teach them there were Amazon Prime, Amazon dot com, the real April Richie at gmail dot com. Reach out to me, let me know your thoughts and uh, thank you for having me, and we will have this the links to her book and the description. So make sure you're going a title description and look for the link.

We gotta there. Go support this sister, all right, and everybody out there talking about they don't have no way and don't understand or have no route to take to be a father, Go get the book. If you share is about being a father, Go get this book. Man. I'm reading it through the cover and it's just damn not all right, and we can see y'all next week. We are here. Okay, thank you well. That concludes another

episode of Against the Chronicles podcast. Be sure to download the i Heart app and subscrip right to The Gangster Chronicles podcast For Apple users, find a purple micro on the front of your screen, subscribe to the show, leave a comment and rating. Executive producers for The Gangster Chronicles podcast and Norman Steve James McDonald, Aran m c a. Tyler, our visual media directors Brian White, and our audio editors Taylor Hayes. The Gangster Chronicles is a production of I

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