The Friday Nightmares Podcast: Episode 94

Hello, everyone, and welcome to The Friday Nightmares Podcast. This is Episode 94, and with you, as always, is Mr. Smokeshow Crawford, coming to you from the town of Sports Creek in the county of Genesee, in the state of Michigan, in the United States of America, in the North American continent, in the Western Hemisphere, on the planet Earth, in the Milky Way Galaxy. I'm fully vaxxed, boosted, whacked, and ready to climax, and if you can, please get me wet and feed me after midnight.

The other premium podcaster from this very professional number one podcast, Heather Powell.

Oh, I need to add that to my intro.

Heather Powell, coming to you today from Waterdown, Ontario, Canada, who is slowly getting over another cold because my life sucks. Maybe it's just karma because of all the mean things I say to people like Matt Wood and Tim Davis and Lance sometimes I kick on too.

And rubbing it in that you have free healthcare.

And rubbing it in that I have free healthcare. I didn't even go to the doctor for it, but I could if I wanted to. So maybe that's just karma coming around to get me, which is fair. I'm a kind of an asshole. I sent Scott a message a couple of weeks ago. I've been watching a lot of true crime stuff and I'm like, you know, if I got murdered, no one would really be surprised. I feel like someone would be like, well, she finally ran her mouth one too many times. And that's what happens.

Is it though?

I think it is. Don't you think so? Don't you think I'm nicer in person? I don't know. It's going to be like, I think I am.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just just to see you next Tuesday all around. And this is how I find out. Right.

I just got to fuck with you.

Well, it's fair, right? The amount that I harass you. Did Erica listen to our last episode where I talked about you being a stripper and her being at the top of the pole?

I don't think she has.

She's too busy. That's why.

Well, I was saying, now she's doing audiobooks like I am, so I think that's where most of her time is spent.

Well, do you guys have a little book club going on?

She's reading her own books, and I'm reading mine, and they're more themed, but she's...

I don't know what's going on with our internet, but I didn't hear a word you said, Scotty.

Oh boy. I was saying there seems to be a delay going on.

Is there? Yeah. You know what we'll do? We'll shut off our cameras for a second and see if that makes a difference so we don't have to see each other. We'll go and dry.

Oh yeah.

We'll see how it goes. Well, that's a little better, right? Oh, you're still like, well, this is what happens on a premium podcast when you have so many people downloading your episode. That's why. Like, Scotty and I, this is not how the internet works, but our internet is just so shoddy because when you're premium podcasters like ourselves and everyone downloads your episodes, this is what happens. So try saying something again. Just talk about your book club.

Oh, you know, we get naked and we just like sit there talking about.

You probably heard that. Yeah, I heard that part. Sounds great. Sounds like a really good relationship building. All right, I'm going to try turning my camera back on and see if it makes any difference. At least you can see me.

That's right. Yeah, I can see you.

You know what? Are the boys on the internet right now? You know what? Tell them to stop downloading porn. That's clearly what the problem is here.

I mean, I do have the power. I can just go in here and turn the internet off for specific devices.

Well, maybe you have to imagine you do that. You're like, boys, I am a professional podcaster for this premium podcast that gets 500 downloads a month. I need to make sure Heather and I can record our episode. We may not record again until I'm back from my trip. This may be it, everybody. So if you don't hear from us in a little bit, Scott and I did not break up. Scott isn't too busy starting a new book podcast with Kate or something. We're just not recording because I'm away.

And I'm not being lazy and not releasing the episode, which I mean, yeah, that probably could be part of it too, but still.

I know you'll release it later this month and you'll be like, oh, well, I had to, Heather, you're away. Like, I couldn't release it too early.

I wanted the fans waiting.

The fans, like Matt Wood. Matt Wood and Tim Davis are the only two people waiting. And Rob Humphries. The people we insult the most are the ones that download it right away.

And Dave Bailey.

Oh, yes, and Dave Bailey. That's true. Are you eating too right now? I thought you had your lunch already.

I didn't. This is a fruit.

Oh, it's your dessert.

Yeah, I mean, I'm being all healthy.

Yeah, very boring, healthy adult dessert. Before we get into these awesome 2024s with our spoiler review of Imaginary. So buckle up, everybody. Scott and I have a new number one for 2024. He's going to win all our awards. We're so good.

Just like Rob. Just like Rob Humphries, number one is Lisa Frankenstein.

Exactly. Just like that. It was also so good. I think you need to let everyone know what Connor had to say to you about Skin of a Rink. I think that's a valid thing to share here.

What the hell did he say now?

He liked it. First of all, he liked it. He said he acknowledged that he liked it.

He said he liked it and thought I was crazy for hating it. And he's like, but that's the point of this movie. Because I was telling him, like, it's so boring and nothing happens. Like literally just it's like someone dropped their camera and said, Oh, there's a scene. And he's like, it's supposed to be through the eyes of kids. I'm like, I know that, but it doesn't need to sit there. No kids. It's still that long.

You're like, look, you little gen alpha. You don't know shit.

Exactly. Well, he's Gen Z.

OK, I saw the border.

Yeah, I was like, you're a Gen Z. You're you're the late stage Gen Z.

Hey, and you know what? If that's who that movie was made for, fucking all the power. I'm glad he enjoyed it. I'm glad he was able to find something from it, you know, just because it wasn't for us doesn't mean that it can't be for and maybe just connects better with the younger Gen. You know, exactly. Like, as I said to you, I'm glad he found that interesting. You know, again, I I really have a hard time believing it's a number one film.

I was going to say, we're premium, so of course we're right.

We're always right. It was always us. It's always been us.

It's always been us.

A very special shout out to Dummies of Horror, who has done the whole decade versus decade. And fuck, that's a grind. Fuck, that's a grind.

Yeah, I don't like, Erika was still working with me at the time when they first started talking about doing this, and she's going, they're going to burn themselves out doing this. I'm going, yeah, they probably won't, but they will be hired afterwards for sure. And yeah, so that is a lot that they did, buddy. Kudos to him. They did great.

It's hard. As Scott and I talked about before, we used to be serious professional podcasters like them as well. And we used to do themes and shit. But so I know the work, you know, and I don't think, and up to this point, Scott, like I feel like before I did podcasting, I was just a listener. I didn't understand how much prep can go into a really well thought out podcast. It is a labor of love. And I applaud them. And I really was like, I just don't want the 1980s to win.

Yeah, I was going to say like, I'm thinking maybe the 2010 to 2020s could. That's what I'm hoping for. Rob is screaming at us right now. You're wrong.

Rob thinks I'm wrong about everything. It's just Rob's way of flirting with me. Well, that's, fuck, that's true too, right? So it will be very interesting to see, but I liked their hot takes on things, like not liking Carnival of Souls. I enjoyed that because I think sometimes, and again, we all have preferences, but sometimes people praise these older movies. And yes, when they came out, I respect movies for what they did for the time.

Well, to me, his opinion doesn't matter.

Well, Connor, your opinion matters to me. Because I know you don't know me, but I'm like your cool aunt. Scott's like a boring dad. So it's fair, right? They're like, word, lady, word. But you know what I mean, Scott? So we all need that kind of give and take. But I'm glad that they've gone through the errors. But the thing that makes me laugh the most is when they would make fun of the 1930s, 40s and 50s with the, oh yeah, now, what do you say here?

Oh yeah.

That's exactly how they all sound. Well, I think you're a fool. Well, I think you're a fool. Oh my goodness. Well, you get the heck out of here. Like, oh. Right? It's so funny. Anyway, if you're not currently listening to Dummies of Horror, please check them out. You can find them on Spotify or any other podcast carrier, or you can become a Patreon, like Scott and I. I'm also a Patreon of The Horror Returns. I actually have to give them my top three or three picks.

Well, that's easy to do with Matt. You just suggest any movie and he'll throw a fit or hate it.

And he came at me. I saw you come at me punching Matt talking like, oh, look at my letterbox. You look at my fucking letterbox, Matt, before you come stepping, huh? Mr. I watch everything. Fucking bring it, Matt. Is that what you can imagine? Matt and I just have an episode with us going back and forth on what movies we've seen.

Well, it's like, cause I think you're in like, I don't think you know it, but you're in a competition with him now. Cause I think he was like trying to outdo you last year.

And then she was getting caught. Oh, I know. I know he was. I was happy that he beat me. I loved listening to their year end show. And he's like, I watched more movies than Heather. I think that's great. If I've inspired somebody to watch more than 12 fucking releases in a year and then tell me the year sucked. Like at least if you've watched enough and you tell me the year sucked for you, then I can be like, well, yeah, you watched enough movies. I love when Matt competes with me.

You just have a wall? You just have a wall? I have a shrine to Matt Wood.

It's a big piece of wood?

I have a Woody for Matt Wood.

Oh, like my dildo is named after Matt Wood. Matt's a virgin, so he wouldn't know anything about that.

No, he wouldn't.

He's saving himself, you know? Some people still have morals out there. So our 2024 list continues to be entertaining. Doesn't it? Oh, it sure does, at least to talk about. So last episode, we talked how excited we were for Imaginary. Plot twist on that one coming up soon. But we also talked about this one. Dropped on Tubi was sadly made in Canada near Niagara Falls. It was sadly made at all. It's a shame that this was made and created, but at least it's on Tubi.

Because mom wants to make sure that her name is not smeared.

It's Scott Loves, asshole politicians. So this, you know, what you see in the house has some secrets. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. This obviously didn't have the same kind of budget that we'll say Margo did a couple years ago. This didn't even have the budget that the movie Tim did from earlier this year. This had a lower budget. I didn't hate it. I didn't mind the main girl, Alex Barjah, or the dudes that were in it. I thought they were all fine.

Well, for one, like you said, Tim and Margo were definitely much better. This just felt very lifetime-y. And also, I could care less what happened to this main girl. Like, because of the thing that she did that is the reason why she's being locked up in this house to hide away. Like, I felt no sympathy for her because what you did was a bad thing.

It would be like if Matt Wood got locked away for his harassment of me. You would understand it. You know what I mean? He's forced to watch Shudder because he's watched everything on Shudder. Well, Matt, guess what? We're going to make you watch this too.

I mean, to be fair, he probably has watched everything on Shudder because you know, in the UK, they probably released one movie.

Yeah, he's like, I watched everything on UK's Shudder. There's 20 films.

Wow.

Matt's like, I'm so mad. I'm going to go to the pub right now and have 10 beers.

I mean, he's probably sitting there going, yeah, it's bullshit. It's true.

Yeah. He's like, blimey. Bloody hell, Heather. It's like, he's like, I'm gutted, Heather. I'm simply gutted with your comments.

Wow, Matt Woods on the podcast. Holy shit.

Oh, Matt Boyd. He's so fluffy. That's a fluffy butt.

But yeah, this movie was just very okay. Because of this one and Tim, and I have a feeling it's going to be an ongoing theme this year, is I created a new award for our end of the year show.

Oh, you did?

And AI is scary.

So I'm on an AI working committee at work, and I find that really funny because there's people on that committee that think AI is scary, too. So I should bring this film in for show and tell me that. All right, we're all going to watch Romy. Anyway, this is a Tubi film. I don't know, unless you're really into AI. Tim Walker gave it three stars. Sander Cain wants to watch it. Sander, no, you don't. No, no, no, Sander.

I gave it a whole whopping two.

Yeah, like, get out, get out.

And not the good get out.

Right. But if you are interested, this is called Romy and it is available on the Tubi. I'm going to let you introduce the next one, Scott. This was also a very interesting one.

Yeah, yeah, it was. All right, so the next movie is Stop Motion with a 93 minute runtime. The synopsis is Ella Blake, a stop motion animator struggling to control her demons after the loss of her overbearing mother embarks upon the creation of a film that becomes the battleground for her sanity. As Ella's mind starts to fracture, the characters in her project take on a life of their own. Yep, this is weird. I seen where it was going. The twist in this was very just obvious.

So this is an IFC film, enough said. I have got to the point because, well, I've watched so many movies.

Here we go.

Since I started podcasting, probably more than Matt would. But I'm like that, you know? I'm just a really well-rounded, humble, premium podcast, premium podcaster. But the moment I saw IFC, I was like, fuck my life. I know what this is going to be. It's either going to be really good or it's going to be really fucking weird. And it was an in-between. I agree with you. The stop motion in this was fucking excellent. Like Chef's Kiss, the acting was very good.

Yeah, I could see certain people really loving this. But yeah, it just all depends.

Like, it's not a bad film. It's definitely, you know, if I was to rank it on terms of quality of filmmaking, this is a solid eight or nine out of ten. Yeah. It is a good fucking movie. For my own personal enjoyment, it's probably a net of six. But at the end of the year, if this comes up on somebody's top ten, I'd be like, totally makes sense. Totally makes sense. High quality, well made film. It is available at all the rental places.

Exactly. That's pretty much how I feel about it. And the next one is all you.

Okay, so this is really exciting for a couple of reasons. One, Scott brought it up on the last episode. The Butchers from 2021 has a sequel called The Butcher's Book to Raghorn, which I was like, fuck yeah, I'm down for this. This sits at an 88 minute runtime, which is good because it doesn't need to be longer than that. The hunt continues. Book one followed a family of statistic butchers living in the back country who sees anyone cross their path as dead meat.

How about me, who was not a fan of the first one?

You will probably like it. Well, I would still watch it.

Yeah, I'll say I probably will. Probably one I can just easily throw on at work at one point.

Well, you've been to where this was filmed. I've taken you there.

That is also, yeah, that's another reason I should watch it, actually.

Right. So I don't know. I thought it was entertaining enough. Again, there's less plot in this one than the first one, and a lot more gore and a lot more practical effects. So if you're looking for just straight out torture and simplistic plot line, then this is a great film. If that's what you go in with your expectations. David Garrett's given it four stars, and David and I have a love-hate relationship with how he feels about movies.

All right. Yeah, I'll definitely have to check that out, just to see, maybe I'll like this one more, especially because of my being there.

A little bit of a connection.

Yeah, exactly. Worth a shot. So yeah, I'll jump on the next one, because I know we both watched it. The next one is called Night Shift, with an 82-minute runtime. Fear never sleeps. A young woman working her first night shift at a remote motel begins to suspect that she is being followed by a dangerous character from her past. As the night progresses and increasingly supernatural events occur, she quickly finds out that nothing is what it appears to be. This is becoming a theme for 2024 for me.

And you said pee-pee poo-poo.

Exactly. It did the one taboo that pisses both you and I off. One horror cliché. And I was... I checked out. I'm like, nope, done. I don't even care now. This pissed me right off.

You were like, movies suck my dick. Yeah. Right? That's what I said to it too. There was a plot point in this that was so 2020. It was so dated. I'm so tired of this plot point. And so many holes in the conclusion. And you will get more upset about plot holes. Erica gets very upset about plot holes. She's very much logic and stuff. I can usually forgive plot holes. I'm usually like, it's a fucking movie. Even I was like, get the fuck out of here. Even I was like, this makes zero sense.

Yeah, because if the third act would have landed for me, this would have been a good top ten contender for me because I was loving every bit of it so far.

So pro here, isolation horror, unreliable narrator, simple set. What you see is what you get at the opening. This chick's left alone to manage this motel, and shenanigans happen as the night progresses. But things are not what they seem. And it's hotel horror. Sounds like a lot of other movies that use hotel horror, to be honest.

I don't know.

Such a disappointment. It's a shame.

And I will read one review because Tammy Taminator from Horror Through Her Eyes and Horrorcast absolutely loved this film. It's her first 5 out of 5 for 2024. She says, this has everything, well, first new release 2024 that I am giving 5 stars to. This has everything, ghosties, humor, of the good kind, twists that actually got me, and it ended with a smile on my face. There's hope for 2024 yet. She loved this movie.

You know, and every podcaster is rightful to their own opinion.

Oh yeah. I was talking to her about it, and I told her, the reveal of the third act ruined it for me, and she goes, that's understandable.

Yeah. I don't think, I thought the humor was okay. I agree the humor was okay. I think it's really soured on me because of, I don't know, because what they tried to fucking capitalize on, I'm just so fucking tired of. And I just think it takes a certain stigma that already exists in society and just fucking alienates people more, and that's what I don't like. Like, I'm so fucking over it. And that's not realistic to what happens. It's so not, I don't know.

I'd say go ahead and rent it because I, like I say, I do think there is a good movie here. The third act may piss you off like Heather and I, but there's a lot of people that don't have a problem with that plot device.

Yeah, absolutely.

I say it's worth a rental because you make your own decision, but I say it's worth it. Everybody makes their own decision on it, but it's worth a rental at least.

That's a good way to phrase it. Have you seen this next one?

I have not.

The woods are real. Isn't this funny? Matt Wood watched this movie.

Oh, actually, I watched the trailer and I was like, I'm good.

You were like, this is a hard pass. What happens when you have to put your money where your mouth... What happens when you have to put your mouth where your money is? Joba and Quincy are wealthy Brooklyn couple who value charity above all, so they say. But when a friend returns from a country pilgrimage, a country pilgrimage, a pilgrimage, sorry, to challenge their bleeding hearts, they accept an invitation that will change their lives forever. This is sitting at an 80 minute runtime.

Exactly.

Right? And it's not to say that's a bad thing, it's just the reality. I find the horror that's sprinkled in in this is more like people getting hurt, and creepy people being in it, and not survival of being in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere, but this truly was a drama, political film, is really what it was at the root of it. Right? So I think if that's your thing, then this movie would be very interesting.

Right.

It's worth it. Good acting, all that stuff.

Okay.

If that's not your thing, skip this, because you're going to find it boring as fuck. And I think the reviews here that are all two star, two and a half to reflect that, I probably would put this at a three. Even for me, I was like, all right, guys, I get it.

Right.

But you're not telling me anything I don't already know. If we didn't have these billionaires giving to some organizations, there would be no function of these fucking organizations. So you know what, if they feel warm and fuzzy and they get a tax write-off, but somebody gets helped because at St. Jude's in fucking the United States, for example, some kid gets treated for leukemia, fucking all the better. Let's pick our battles.

So yeah, this definitely sounds like one that wouldn't have been a movie for me.

I don't think you need to watch it. It's not going to win any awards, nor is it going to be in your top 10.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I felt. So yeah, I'll talk about the next one, because I know you definitely didn't watch this. This is totally a Scotty will watch this movie. That is Easter Bloody Easter. With a 103 minute runtime, a woman must protect her small town from the jackalope based on the mythical rabbit antelope creature of North American folklore. Okay, thanks, Synopsys, like I didn't know what that is.

But I just watched the trailer, and what you said definitely summed it up as I was watching that trailer.

Yep, just silly, ridiculous. They knew what they had there.

Yeah, totally.

I ain't giving this a great score. Like, it's a two and a half out of five for me. Like, it's right in the middle. It was fun, entertaining, just a little long in the tooth. Donnelly loves it. He gave it a four and a half out of five. Tim Walker gave it a two out of five. I'm trying to see. Oh, there's a guy that did a huge long review. Oh, David Garrett gave it two and a half, but he had a very long review written, so I'm not going to read all of that. But yeah, just silly.

Honestly, it doesn't look that bad from watching the trailer. It looks entertaining.

Yeah, I'll say it's entertaining. Like I say, the score only goes down because of the length.

Totally. And at least they know the movie they were making. You can watch that trailer, and they know what they were doing. This is a little budget, silly, goofy. Yeah, they're having a good time. And what's nothing wrong with having a good time, is there, Scott?

Not at all.

You know who didn't have a good time?

Oh, boy.

The two people in this next film certainly didn't have a good time.

What's the next film we pulled up?

Oh, you'll never find me on The Shuddy while we wait for Late Night with the Devil to be dropped, which hopefully will be dropped soon.

Yeah, I believe it's sometime next week or the week after. I know it's in April.

All right. That's what I'm holding out for, baby. All right. You'll never find me. Most recent Shudder release as of today, which is April 7th. Patrick, a strange and lonely resident, lives in a mobile home at the back of an isolated caravan park. After a violent thunderstorm erupts, a mysterious young woman appears at his door, so he can shelter from the weather. The longer the night wears on, the more the young woman discovers about Patrick, the more difficult she finds it to leave.

The tension is very thick.

It's a 96-minute runtime. It doesn't overstay its welcome. You know, on paper and really in application, this movie wasn't bad. It just didn't do it for me in the third act.

Yep, I was going to say, this is a theme for 2024 for me. Solid freaking movies that start off with the first and second act being amazing and then shits the bed the third act for me.

Yeah, I don't think I disliked it at all. You did as much as you did, so why don't you share what you really... I know that was spoilers. What really bothered you in the third act?

Well, the third act, from what I can remember, because this is one of the first movies I watched after we recorded, so I'm trying... So all I remember is the third act pissed me right off. Well, it didn't piss me off as much as Night Shift, but it just felt jarring and confusing and just weird out of nowhere.

I felt like this is the year of unreliable narrator, and I feel like that's what bothered you. Maybe it's that the narration of this was so out there when you got to the third act. You were like, oh, fuck sakes, this is what this is?

I almost need to start writing down notes in my letterbox reviews just to remind myself of some of these, because this one, I think that was it. I think it's the unreliable narrator aspect. Like, it's I've been there, done that, but it's at the same time, it's like you had something good and you did this.

There was just an inclusion in this third act of the narration not being reliable. We've seen that a lot this year, unreliable narrators. And the twist of mental wellness, wellness, health being put into a lot of movies that constantly, I find that challenging. I think it's very hard to do that well, to be honest. I do think that this was otherwise good dialogue, well done.

When was this?

Was it Christmas this year or last year? It was one of the last movies that shutter put out, and it was basically this woman home alone, a friend, a family friend stops by, and as the night goes, you learn more and more. And there's never an unreliable narrator. She's consistent. But then you find out his intentions.

Yeah, that sounds familiar, but I'm like drawing a blank at the same time.

I would have to pull up the shutter release, but like isolation in the middle of nowhere horror, again, very similar to what this is, showing up at someone's caravan in the middle of the day or middle of the fucking rainstorm. I will say again, the dialogue in this film was excellent. The back and forth between the two characters was very, very good. It just didn't deliver that punch, you know? That's the thing. Though out of the shutter releases, I will say it's the better one. So...

Yeah, because I gave this... I ended up giving this, I think it was a 3 out of 5. Yep, 3 out of 5. And I think this is going to be a theme for this year, Tammy, because Tammy's a 5 out of 5 on this one too.

Well, I'll be honest, not that anyone ever has to justify their opinions to me, but I can see this being a 5 out of 5 more than I could see the other one that we talked about being a 5 out of 5, simply because I think it's a better quality film.

I just find it funny that the two movies that the third act did not work for me were her 5 out of 5s.

Well, and a similar theme in both.

Yeah, exactly.

Right? But I will say that this, I think the acting chops and the writing in this film were superior.

Oh, yeah.

And kept you guessing more. Like, honestly, in the other one we're talking about, I kind of called the ending from the beginning. Like, it wasn't hard to kind of put it together as the time went on. But this, I really wasn't sure what was happening. So I'll give... And like, I mean that in a good way. Like, I really didn't know what was happening. So it is available on the Shutter, all the Shuttars, as well as AMC. If you have Shutter, this may be something that you want to check out.

Yes, I do. So yeah, the next one is The Camp Host. It's a 95 minute runtime. Sadie, a young Native American van lifer, and her husband, Ed, find their trip derailed when they spend the night in a campground overseen by a maniacal woman who brutally punishes campers that don't follow her rules. This is, I believe, a to-be original.

I think so too.

This is definitely, in my opinion, up there is one of the better to-be originals. There's one more that we'll be talking about that I think is better. This one is basically like a kind of ridiculous slasher in the woods. Unfortunately, this seems to be another theme for 2024. I could not stand this main character. She was just so bitchy and just rude to everybody and felt like she deserved everything type of attitude. So I was like, I don't care what happens to you at all.

Yes.

Which kind of sucks, but this would have had more gore in everything. This would have been a higher score for me. So far, all together, this would just say three out of five for me. It was easy watch.

Yeah, this was an easy watch. It was a basic slasher. I agree, the main two protagonists were, I don't know, you were rooting for their three-legged dog more than you were rooting for anybody else. I thought it was entertaining. I thought there was some creepy, weird dialogue that was pulled in for no reason at times that I didn't quite get where the context was. But, you know, for a 95-minute runtime, slashy, slashy, chasey, chasey, puppy, puppy, you know, a dog's in it automatically.

It's true.

It's a dog with a disability.

And I can relate to that now, because I got one. Right?

Yes. Imagine if River was in it. Oh, my God. Can you imagine?

A three-legged, one-eyed puppy?

Well, no, him and the three-legged puppy, and they're like best friends. Oh, yeah. Oh. That's the movie we deserve. That's not the movie we got. I don't know, for a Tubi original, it was fine. Like, I thought it was entertaining. You know, I think if you're looking for some basic slasher, it's fun. It's a fun little one. There's a scene with an outhouse that kind of grossed me out a little bit.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

You know, so that was kind of yucky, but which did its job. It was supposed to be yucky. So, I don't know, if you want to watch it, check it out. It's called The Camp Host on Tubi. It's free.

Yep, exactly.

Like, if you're Matt Wood and you're trying to catch up to me, then, Matt, I guess you could watch this. I hope it's okay, though. Maybe you should check with your wife first and make sure it's not too scary for you.

We don't want you having nightmares.

And we don't want you having nightmares. He has nightmares all the time. He's like, me.

True, yeah.

And it's coming, Matt. 20 fucking days, Matt. By the time you hear this, I'll either be in the UK or on my way to the UK.

Oh, boy.

I'm like Camp Host. Watch. I'm like, Matt, watch this movie. I'm the fucking Camp Host. That's me.

Run, Matt.

Run. I'm just going to fucking go to the pub. Heather can find me there. Anything you wanted to add about the Camp Host?

No, just a low budget, slashy, slashy, like you say, and just with unlikable characters. So, yeah, it was OK for what it was. One of the better tubies. But like I say, there is one more that we'll talk about. But we got to talk about the wonderful big budget films that have been coming out and making it in the theaters. So you want to tackle the synopsis on this one?

Yeah, so this, I don't know, Camp Host, Camp Host was better than this movie. Imaginary, meet Chauncey. He's not imaginary and he's not your friend. And this movie was not good. When Jessica moves back into her childhood home with her family, her youngest stepdaughter Alice develops an eerie attachment to a stuffed bear named Chauncey she finds in the basement. Alice starts playing games with Chauncey that begin playful, but become increasingly sinister in the form of a scavenger hunt.

I thought you were going to spoil something...

is much more than a stuffed toy, a stuffed bear, she believed them to be. . No, let's sort of spoil.

Well, we'll spoil that when we do our spoiler review.

We'll try to do a spoiler if we can figure out the third act. That should be fun. Between Scott and I, hopefully we can figure out what the fuck happened. Scott watched this movie first, and he's like, Oh, I and Eric and I didn't really like it. I'm like, Oh, it can't be that bad.

No, no, I told you, yeah, this movie was terrible. It reminded me of Night Swim, but worse.

Oh, yeah, I said it couldn't be worse than Night Swim. Oh, just wait. And you were right. I didn't think it could be. I didn't think I would like I don't. So, OK, so I guess the best review here is from Vic Grimes, Kids Satidious. I like why does Lionsgate keep getting involved in films like this?

Why does Blumhouse? This is twice from Blumhouse.

This was a Lionsgate and Blumhouse baby. And I feel like I could just make a horror movie about the films that Lionsgate and Blumhouse comes out with right now.

Yeah, like I got this. There were so many just if you would have looked into this online or if you would have actually did your fucking research, little issues in this movie that would have made this so much more believable for one. And then also just throw out the third act, make this a short film. It would have been better. Oh, the writing and like the writing dialogue wise was so bad. The story was just ridiculous. Oh, this is the worst movie I've seen this year.

Scalper.

I didn't watch that.

So, you know, I will say this. I enjoyed it more than you did up to the third act. I was able, you know, we'll get into this in spoilers. I was able to forgive the plot howls. The dialogue was questionable. The characters weren't affable. But I was like, ah, fuck, who cares? I put up the creepiness in this. And then it got to the third act. And that's when it lost me. And we'll talk about that in spoilers. But it's a shame because I was really looking forward to this film.

This is a shit film. It is.

So if Scott and I haven't done the best job in the world of selling it to you, then you want to see it for yourself. I think it's out of theaters now. It must be because it's on for rent.

Yes, it is streaming or available to rent streaming wise. I think that's how it's available at the moment.

So Apple's, Google, Voodoo, Amazon, Cineplex, if you live in Canada. I don't know if you really want to watch this movie, go ahead, but it's a Blumhouse and Lionsgate baby.

And it's the worst of the two combined together.

This isn't Blumhouse like Get Out or even Truth or Dare. Truth or Dare looks like an Academy Award winning film.

Yeah.

And people shit on that one. Or what's the other one? Fantasy Island.

Yes. I had more fun with Fantasy Island than this piece of shit.

Yes. Because at least Fantasy Island, the third act made sense.

Right.

Right.

You hearing me, Tim Davis?

I know he gave it three stars. That's okay. Hey, he enjoyed it. I was with it till the third act.

Well, I was just calling him out just because him and Loopy absolutely hated Fantasy Island.

Oh, Tim, you got to be real, man. Seriously, Tim. Like that movie at least made sense. Like at least you could follow what was happening.

But I know Tim also watched this with his kids. That may be why he liked it. Their reaction may have helped increase it a little bit for him.

Yeah, now that they have nightmares because he's a shitty parent, now that makes more sense. I get it. Good job, Tim.

I'm not going to call him a shitty parent.

Well, he's exposing his kids to shitty horror movies. Why didn't you show them something good like Solo?

Oh, that's fair.

Or Serbian film. Come on, Tim. Martyrs.

What the hell, Tim?

Megan is missing. Give them a real lesson in what could happen. Just kidding, Tim. You're not a shitty parent. Tim is the furthest from a shitty parent.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just surprised that he got his kids to watch this. He probably thought it would scare them, though. I bet you, Jaleesa, what the fuck is this shit?

I think his kids wanted to watch this.

Oh, did they?

Yeah.

Were they scared?

He didn't say this was before he watched it, because I was giving the warning to him and Rob Humphrey, like, oh, my God, this movie is so bad. And Tim's going, uh-oh, but I'm getting ready to watch this with the kids because they wanted to see it.

Yeah, you know what? I think it's kid horror friendly. I think the kids.

Oh, it is. Yeah.

Yeah. And his kids are fucking tough. They ain't pussies.

I mean, they live with him and he loves to scare them.

So yeah, they're like, fucking dad, put on insidious. Fuck this baby shit.

Oh, dad, throw on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Yeah.

Like, where's the omen, dad? The exercise. Tim's kids are tough.

Oh, so yeah, we could jump on to what is definitely a much better movie, in my opinion.

Oh man, way better.

And this is, yeah, this one is another to be original. And this is a definitely, I think, the best to be so far. It's called Slay, a 99 minute runtime. After a booking mistake, four drag queens find themselves performing for a mostly unwelcoming crowd. But when vampires attack, the crowd looks to the queens to save the day.

This has a 3.3 rating on Letterbox, and if this may not be in my contention for Comedy of the Year, I really thought this was funny. I love how it knew what it was, and it didn't try to pretend to be anything else. I thought the practical effects were decent for what it was in terms of this film. I thought the queens were fabulous. I love that their first song was Wet Ass Pussy, that they performed to. I loved the stereotypical bikers having the issue with the drag and the comments.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It showed the... It gave the message of acceptance.

Right? And like that, it doesn't have to affect you. I thought that was kind of like the thing that you could just... Like there was one part, there was one line in this where the guy's like, I can't believe you have a drag show happening here. He's like, well, you don't need to stay. You can leave. And that's so fucking 100% the thing. You know, I've gone to some comedy nights where I find the comedian offensive.

They were. Like I said, I had a great time with this. I think I gave it a 7 out of 10, because it's not the best movie, but it was a lot of fun.

And that's the thing. This is a fun, easy to watch. It runs at a 99-minute runtime, probably a little longer than needed, but that's okay. For Tubi for a free watch, totally worth checking it out. It will definitely be a contender for me for Comedy of the Year, because I didn't think it was quite funny. I definitely chuckled at it, and I had a good time with it.

If anything, at least Tubi, a good contender for Tubi Original for the year for me.

Totally. Absolutely. Good job, Tubi. It is available on Tubi, and it's called Slay.

Yas, queen. And I believe these next three are all you.

So there's something very special. On the last episode, I talked about The Winter Witch, and I talked about how they obviously paid this one British actress a lot of money to be in a film, and then it was really shitty, and it had all these other low-budget actors. And I said, I used the example, it would be like if you had Barbara Crampton in a film, and you had all these other shitty horror actors or like a shitty movie. Guess what happened, Scotty?

Oh, boy.

This star is Barbara Crampton and a bunch of fucking nobodies. Welcome to The Thing I Said in Reality. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Are you here to save me? No, no one could save us from this movie. A newly engaged couple's ski weekend goes horribly awry when an unexpected guest arrives and the house dark supernatural forces begin to arise. This is a 75-minute torturous runtime. I hope Mrs. Crampton makes a lot of money off this movie.

Oh boy.

Yeah, so it definitely thought it was funny. It definitely thought it was funny.

That's one of the worst kinds.

Like there's one scene, Scotty, where like this couple is there and this guy shows up and he offends the female of the couple and they have a fight at dinner and the guy goes upstairs. And the woman, like her boyfriend's like, you need to go follow him so we can like make this, oh sorry, her husband says you need to go follow him and make this up to him so we can like all be friends still. So she goes up there, they're waiting, waiting. She doesn't come back. She ends up banging this guy.

I think I watched the trailer for this one as well, and I was just like, I'm good.

No, this is bad. Sorry that this was created. Barbara, I hope you made some good money off of this shit, because it fucking sucked. All right, next one. Prey, 2024. Sorry, also about a lion. In some country in Africa.

Who was the one with Idris Elba from like two years ago? Wasn't that Prey as well?

Sure was, with a lion. With a crash. That was a jeep crash. This was a plane crash. Let the hunt begin. A young couple is compelled to lead their Christian missionary station in the Cahalli Desert after threatened with death by extremist militant gang. After crashing their aircraft, they must battle the beast, the man and the beast, for their life. All right. Here's the dealio. Emile Hirsch is in this movie. Fuck, he's a good actor.

Yeah, I was saying, he was also in Autopsy of Jane Doe.

He's great.

Yeah, he's a great actor.

So he's worth it. And Ryan Felipe is in this as well.

Wow.

Yeah. So like Amira Savary.

Holy shit.

Okay. She dies early. That's a spoiler. Fucking doesn't matter. She dies early because no one's going to watch this movie. But basically, the movie is based upon Ryan Felipe's character and Emile Hirsch. Emile Hirsch is the asshole pilot that crashes the plane, and Ryan Felipe is married to Marina Survey, who are like the Christian saviors.

Oh, boy.

This is definitely a Christian film.

Yeah.

This is definitely a Come to Jesus film. I will say that this did a great job of respecting the animals because there was no animal cruelty in this film.

Well, that's good.

You don't see them except for stock footage, so that's good. They crash a plane and it's trying to survive. There's a mix of characters in this plane, and they're trying to survive. I don't know. It's survival horror. It's an 86-minute runtime. I enjoyed Ryan and Emile and their interactions with each other. I thought they did a good job. I think Emile Hirsch, if it wasn't for him, this movie would have sucked horribly. He carried the majority of the film, followed by Ryan. The end.

All right, yeah. I will add this to the list then.

Right, I think it's interesting. And it's easy to watch it work. You can follow along while just listening, too. If you have to look away, you can follow along. The dialogue is clear enough that you don't need to be staring at the screen the entire time.

Okay, because I kept scrolling past this one. I've been curious. I didn't watch the trailer yet for anything. So I just kept scrolling past that. I was like, I'll get to it at some point, and then I just never did. So glad to hear it's worth checking out.

It is. And it's not going to be for everyone again. It's not going to be for everybody. And I'm not going to run around and say, this is a fucking amazing movie and everyone needs to watch it. I just don't think it's a one-star film. But for some people, it may be. I just think the dialogue in it and I think Ozzy and Darren are quite interesting. I think them, especially the guy who plays Ozzy, I liked his character a lot.

I am... Let me pull it up real quick. Catch... Caught me off guard on that one.

Sorry, I sneezed. I had to mute my mic.

I'll hear you. Hole Wobbin 33. Wow. I've been very picky this time around.

Man, this is not the Scotty we know and love.

Well, I'm trying to at least do 10 a month.

10 a month.

At least. So I at least have, hopefully, 120 by the end of the year.

Well, that's good. 120 is good. Like, that's better than someone like Matt would. Matt's like, well, just you fucking wait, Heather. I'm at 52.

He probably is.

Yeah, but Matt, by the time you hear this, I'm already at 70.

She's already at 100 by the time we release this. Let's be honest.

I'm like, all I'm doing on the plane over is I'm really trying to fall asleep. I'm like, no, must watch movies.

And I know Scott's going to be taking 20 years to release the episode, so there'll be about 100 movies I've watched.

And then, be caught up. Must meet, beat Matt. Must beat Matt.

I love it.

Do you want to talk about your older watch? I can't believe you watched this one. I want you to talk about that first.

Yeah. So, Erica actually threw this one on last night. We were just chilling, because I don't think I talked it. Yeah, I think I told you about it, but our puppy decided our TV remote was a yummy treat earlier this week, so we had no big screen TV, smart TV to use in our living room, because new technology, there's no such thing as buttons anymore, so you have to have a remote to do anything.

Why are you liking things that people hate, Scott? That's not what we do.

I know. I'm disappointing everybody.

I think I watched this. I thought I enjoyed it, too. Is the chick from Stranger Things in it?

This one has Elizabeth Olsen from The Olsen Sisters. She's the one that's not the twin. She was Scarlet Witch from the Marvel movies.

Maybe I haven't seen this one, then.

Yeah, because this one is where they're talking about, they knew Godzilla existed back in 1954 because Hiroshima awoke it, but they had not seen it since, and then come to this timeline, and they know he's out there, but then, yeah, the Mutos hatches and comes out and starts causing damage, and yeah, it was pretty good. I enjoyed the shit out of it. At the end of it, I'm going, Yep, Godzilla just proves once again, I am the king with the motherfucking monsters. Bow down to me, bitch.

Well, and you know what? If Americans hadn't set off bombs, we would be in this situation. So again, it's all America's fault.

Exactly. Or you could think of it as, Thank you, America. You gave us Godzilla.

You know, that's a good way to turn a frown upside down, Scott. Fuck yeah.

Because if it wasn't for the bombing of Hiroshima, the original 1954 Godzilla would not exist.

So you're welcome, world. You're welcome. We have America to thank for Godzilla. Thank you, America, for everything you do.

That sounds fucking terrible.

Speaking on how great America is, have you heard of this documentary, Quiet on the Set?

Oh, I've been hearing lots about this. I have not watched it yet, but I've been hearing some things.

So in Canada, it's available on Discovery+. I don't know if it's the same thing in the States.

Yeah, I'm not sure. I'll look it up on Letterboxd while you're talking.

Sounds good. So this is a movie about Dan Snyder, primarily, and some other predators that worked at Nickelodeon during the 2000s and worked with people like Amanda Bynes, a couple other kid actors, and it really shows the dark side of children's television, how some of the women on staff were treated. For example, two women were told they had to share a salary as writers.

Oh, Jesus.

And when they went to the writers guild and found out that actually wasn't allowed, one of them got fired and told they would never work for Nickelodeon again. There was much sexual abuse that occurred of young women and young men that were abused repeatedly by a couple of people that worked there. Long hours on the set, very inappropriate skits, like Adriana Grande trying to squeeze a potato looking like she's jerking it off.

Oh, boy.

Pulling water on herself looking like it's a cum shot, like very sexually driven stuff, right? And the reason why I included it, because I think it's important that we watch a lot of horror movies with kids in it, and kids are in films, and I hope from the real horrors that occurred for some of these young people in Nickelodeon in the time that they were there, I hope that safeguards are now put in place that prevents those horrors from happening again.

And also people in power have ways of keeping things hush hush.

Absolutely. But you think of things in the Boy Scouts and other areas where we've had adults befriend kids. It's grooming, right? But it's just been like, oh yeah, that's fine. And especially for a lot of these kids, especially in the television industry, a lot of these kids were like, I was getting my family out of fucking poverty. You know what I mean? It was really, really fascinating. It's a heavy watch. I think it will be hard for Erica with her having children.

I was going to say, she's into a lot of the true crime docs, and she's fascinated by the Jeffrey Epstein stuff. She watched all this stuff. I think she'd be able to handle it, because this is what I was going to suggest us watch at some point, because I was curious, because I've heard how messed up it is.

It's good. It's well done. The thing is, it's well done, and the message is very simple. We need to have safeguards. And we need to talk about how that's not appropriate. If you know an adult that's having a friendship with a 10-year-old that's inappropriate, there should be a conversation about that. That should not be normal. Calling it out is kind of what this comes down to. But yeah, you have some books you want to talk about. I'm excited for our little book club talk.

Yeah, so as I talked about on the last episode, I've gotten myself back into reading, and just like in Letterboxd, I've got a Goodreads account, and I've been keeping track of what I've been reading there, and even created a 2024 reading list. Not trying to read 2024 releases, per se, but just what I've read this year. I've already read eight books since I started back up on this, but I'm also doing audiobooks, reading graphic novels, reading novels.

Nice. Yeah, it looks creepy.

And yeah, it's like only 169 pages. The words are all spaced out, like spaced out on the page fairly, so it's a very easy, quick read. It only took me like four days on my breaks to read it, but very fascinated because yeah, it is literally the remake of The Haunting of Hill House by Edgar Allan Poe, but just added her own twist with like that Last of Us, like prio-seps or whatever those funguses are that can zombify and like take over your body and stuff. And it was very good.

Okay, okay.

But it's very fascinating, very intriguing, very creepy at times. But yeah, just this was an amazing book. And yep, I want to see if there's any other found footage horror books out there. And I also want to see what else this author has done because he, this was amazing.

So I like to download audiobooks, and I prefer to listen to an audiobook on the plane. Now, my audiobooks tend to be, and it's going to shock you, but social issue books.

Oh, shocker.

I know. About all the things I'm angry about. So I don't do a lot of fiction. But do you think I would enjoy this?

I think you would. I think this is like, because it's, for one, just like that topic of Paranormal Investigators.

Yes, once I do love.

And just the way it's like everything's laid out, it's a very cohesive story. Like I could see you playing the images in your head, listening to the audiobook.

Well, this would be good on the trip to the UK.

Yeah, I think it would.

On a plane ride to the UK.

I think so. And I'm even ignoring the UK part.

I know! You're like, look Heather, I'm talking about this fucking book. Do not steal my fucking moment.

Yeah, this, I think you would like this. Like I love this.

I'm feeling it. I like it. I'm digging it. Yeah, I'm loving that you're bringing these books to the table. It's great.

I figured it would be something new. I mean, like I say, Kate kind of inspired me with her book review podcast. I'm like, yeah, why not? Like now that I'm back into reading, I'll bring up some that I've been reading about. Why not?

In Kate, we trust.

Exactly.

Oh my God. Imaginary is still in the fucking theaters up here.

Oh Lord.

So imaginary. Spoiler review here. It made money. Here's the thing. It was made for 10 to 12 million, and it's made 36 million in the box office. So yeah, well, you know, it was marketed well. So why don't we start off with your issues with this film and Erica's issues, and I'll get into mine.

So besides just the painful dialogue and just cheesy acting throughout all this, one of my biggest gripes was there. Well, yeah, one of my biggest gripes, I guess you would say, logic-wise, what I'm saying, do your fucking research. So we are jumping into spoilers, people, and I'm jumping like very, say, towards the end of the second half.

And another video of another child.

Yeah, and oh, this kind of reminds me of another child from like last year that I did an interview with. Here, let me show you this video. Like, oh, fuck off. This is like, I don't even, I'm not that smart, and I know that you cannot fucking do that. If you're going to do something like that, you can be like, okay, this could be a risk for my job, but I got to show you this because it's concerned. Some type of dialogue to make, just wash that away.

And really, her acting out isn't that bad. So what she sneaks over a boy. And like he pretends to drop E.

And yeah, another, this boy is over the fucking top, like when he comes over and she's like, yeah, let's watch a movie. And she's just chilling, wanting to meet a new friend. And he's sitting there. Some part. Oh, you got some booze. Let me go get some booze. You shouldn't do that. Oh, it'll be fine. Smash. Fuck this movie.

And what was Erica's issues?

A lot of the same things that I had. And she just, she said it just didn't, the family did not feel like a family at all with the dialogue. They just all felt wooden. The acting was awful for her. The story was ridiculous. And she was one that was super excited about this movie. And she's like, this was a huge disappointment. And I'm saving all the issues, all the big issues of the third act until we talk with you more.

So leading up to the third act, I was definitely higher on it than Scott and Erica was. Yes, everything the two of them are saying is true. The chemistry between the father, the stepmom, Alice, the young girl, the teenager Taylor was lacking to say the minimal.

Cut your finger off.

Cut your finger off. Like, just stupid shit, right? As a sacrifice to open the gateway... To Imaginationland! To Afraid of the Dark Nickelodeon set that was forgotten from the 1990s.

Before we go any further, before we go into this lovely world, we gotta sing the South Park Imaginationland song. Imagination! Okay, I'm done now.

And where the kid-cidious came from is that Jessica has to draw all around her room as she did as a kid to get Chauncey to come back for her because he takes Alice to the not upside down, not the undead realm, not every other fucking realm we've seen in any other film. And I didn't quite get where the bear came in and why no one else could see the bear. I guess the bear never existed. The bear was...

The bear was... What is the stepmother's name?

Oh, the stepmother's name. Sorry, I had it right here. Jessica.

So the bear was Chauncey to Jessica. She was a little girl. So this whole entire movie plays out that you think Alice has a stuffed teddy bear that's the imagination. But at that therapy session, you find out there is no stuffed bear. In fact, Alice, I don't know what she sees, but you don't see anything sitting there. But when Jessica's watching it, and when she's watching Alice play with her imaginary friend, she sees a teddy bear that she thinks Jessica attached a personality to.

Yeah, that turns into a monster. Yeah. So this was a really weird movie. So up to this point, I'm like, you know what? I can forgive the weird-ass relationship between everybody. I can forgive the over-the-top teenage boy. Shocked that he wasn't killed. But hey, what can you do, right? I can forgive all of this.

Yeah, I heard something about that, yeah.

That was where I think they got the inspiration from, because this is what this looked like. It was like these poorly painted walls that kind of tried to make you dizzy, and these doors that would, you know, you could see the banging as you walked through, the jiggling. It literally looked like they pulled scenes from Are You Afraid of the Dark in 1991. I actually think they filmed it in Toronto. They went and found the set pieces. They blew the dust off of them, and they put it fucking up.

And then, and then the neighbour decides...

Yeah, that she's evil now?

Yeah, she just goes fucking bananas, and is like unhinged psycho all of a sudden.

All of a sudden, all the help she's done, she's like, oh no, I always wanted this. Now I can prove that the imaginary world exists.

I'm gonna trap you in here with me so we can live here forever. Like, what the fuck is going on in this movie? Like, I...

Like, well, she got killed early on. She got pulled into one of the doors, which you don't really see what happened to her, but we were all thankful, because no one needed to listen to her anymore.

And I'm wanting to look, because I think this has... I'm going to guess a couple of screenwriters, not just one. Let me see. So... I'm pulling it up right now. Writing credits. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Yep, there are three writing credits. Jeff Wadlow, Greg Erb, and Jason Orumlin. Yes, this feels like three different people fucking had their hands in this story.

Can you imagine if one of them wrote the first act, the second act, and the third act, and then they thought, let's just put it together?

It almost feels like that. It really does.

So, and then like, so I guess Alice is in this world where her birth mother is not mentally ill, and she gets presents all the time, and she gets to sit in a pretty death dress and have tea parties in Imagination Land, or the Upside Down, or the Netherland, or wherever it is. Or the Are You Afraid of the Dark Land, or the Are You Afraid of the Dark of the, like, this was such a moral, sometimes things are not what they seem, fucking lesson here.

And I was saying, like, I was tolerating it, but the entire time I'm going, oh dear God, just let this be done, because this is so generic. And then the third act happened, and I went, are you fucking kidding me? And it just, like, it was already bad, and then it just got worse. I literally gave this one and a half stars. Like, this is the worst rated film I've had this year so far.

I literally wanted to pull up our Fright of the Dark episode and play at that scene, that third act of imaginary side by side, so we could just compare on how it was the same fucking thing. I just don't get it. I just, and like, when you have such a big budget, those special effects were so rinkity dink. Like, when it looks incomparable to a 90s TV show in Canada, in Canada.

And compared to some of the low budget films we've already watched this year that look way better.

Like, when I watch a movie about drag queens at a bar and vampires show up, we're looking at a better film.

Or, you know, with Here for Blood, with really low budget acting and special effects. Like, so much better than fucking imagination land bullshit.

Yeah, I just, I don't know, it's a shame. I hope Blumhouse comes out with something else, because you know, with Blumhouse, you got hits and misses. I know not everybody liked Five Nights at Friday's, but like, fuck, at least Five Nights at Friday's was better than this. It was a storyline you could follow. This was just out there, and I just don't... Anyway, hopefully, I don't know what else, what else are they coming out with this year? What's their next release?

Oh, yeah, because that's the American remake of that film. Like, we needed that.

Piece of shit. Wolfman. That's Megan 2.0. And then The Black Phone 2. I guess we'll see what happens with that.

Yeah.

Well, you know what? At least we watched it. Exactly. If you were a fan of Imaginary and the third act didn't bother you, glad you enjoyed it. Glad you had a good time. I just think you expect more from high-end production companies, but I expect a lot of things that I don't get in life. So I guess I should just add this to the list of disappointments.

Right. I feel you on that one. Yeah, that movie.

Well, good news is that Blumhouse will not be cursing us again until September. So hopefully we have other things to look forward to, like Late Night with the Devil or Talk...

Yes, if Late Night with the Devil. That one's already been in theaters and then coming to shutter sometime this month. So looking forward to that one because I've been hearing great things. Then Immaculate, that's another good one I've been hearing great things about.

Yeah, so there's some good stuff that's out there. And again, if you only watch five movies, don't tell me this year sucks. So if you're Matt Wood and you've watched five movies... I know Matt's watched much more than that. He's watched ten. I'm just kidding, Matt. I'm sure you've watched like probably... He's probably watched... Should I look him up and see Mr. Big Dick Swinging? Let's see what he has to say here.

He did tell you you should be looking at his letterbox.

Well, I'm looking at all of him. Where is he? There he is. There's that silly UK C-word. Let's see where his lists are. All right, Matt Wood. Let's see. Oh, can't help but notice your 2024 list isn't here.

Uh-oh.

Right? You know why he hasn't watched that many? His lists are like 98 films, 10 films, 34 films. Wow. In 2021 alone, for first-time watches of new movies, I watched 208 films. In 2020, I watched 256 first-time watches and 230 2020 films. Suck my D, Matt, coming at me. Matt's like, I just don't have them on my letterbox. Which he could not, in all fairness. It's not like I got Halloween and shit on here, because we've all watched those a million times over.

Ah, good old Matt Wood.

I know, look, you're rubbing your face. You're like, I'm so tired. Stop making bad horror movies and Heather, stop fighting with Matt. I just want everyone to get along.

I just want 2024 to be good-filled movies and good-filled friends not hating each other. That's all.

Matt and I will never get divorced when you have a bond this deep. But I agree with him on a lot of his reviews. His reviews are the best. And he's not wrong. And I think the one thing we should be thankful this year is that we don't have to watch a Scream film.

True. Though I will say Scream 6 was actually pretty damn good, in my opinion.

Yeah. I guess in comparison.

Better than what we've had in a while for the last couple of years.

Right? Well, I guess we'll be back again in May. It's gonna be May. I don't know if we'll record again before then. It really does depend on whether... Yeah, and if Scott can make time for me.

Heather, I will at least always try to make time for you.

That's not true. That's not true.

I will try. I said I'll try.

Well, we got really... We're April 7th, and next weekend, we're not gonna have enough movies to watch. And then the following weekend would be the only other time. So if we have enough, and then I'm on the plane on Saturday, I guess I could podcast from the airport. That was what a professional series podcaster would do.

You should be podcasting from the plane.

On the plane. Live on scene. Actually, I'm gonna go to Matt's house, and we're gonna podcast all three of us together. Right? Matt's wife's like, who's this bitch? She's like, oh, don't mind her. She's special. She's part of a volunteer program. It's like you bring in this Canadian that doesn't know anything, and you just let her experience UK culture. We gonna go get some chips, Matt? What about these crisps? Are these crisps any good?

Yeah, we will try to get another recording in beforehand, but like I said, that will mainly depend on if we can even get enough movies. We shall see.

We will do our best, though. So as we have said before, we are proud members of the Legion Podcast Network. You can find us and a bunch of other shows on that network as well. They also have a Patreon, so if you want to support a variety of horror shows or podcasts, you are more than welcome to. And if you haven't joined Legion Patreon yet, What, what, what are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for? Patreon.com/LegionPodcasts What are you waiting for? Patreon.com/LegionPodcasts

Maybe they're stuck in Imagination Land.

Get the fuck out of Imagination! But yes, join us.

I don't think Matt watched Imaginary yet.

Oh, I can't wait for his review.

His review will be the best. We'll have to read that, just go back to it. Oh, Bag Head! Sandra Kainstein Bag Head. That's one I want to see.

Yeah, I'm curious about that one.

That's going to come on Shudder.

Uh-huh.

Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. That's gonna be good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So until next time, thanks for supporting us. Please check out all of our friends. Follow them on Letterboxd. Matt Wood, Tim Davis, Sandra Kain, Jason Gray, who I now follow on Letterboxd. Thank you very much, Jason, for sending me your contacts. I am following you. Who else do we follow on Letterboxd? I guess those are the main ones we read out all the time.

Mark Nadeau.

Mark Nadeau.

Oh, Tammy. Tim Walker. Tammy Terminator Terminator. Rob the Sexy Home Freeze.

Rob the Hump.

And seeing all of his five-star reviews for Final Destination and Lisa Frankenstein.

All the good stuff, you know.

And then also, if there are any of you that are on Goodreads, feel free to send me a friend request. I believe I am just Bale Hawn or Scott Crawford, something like that. I'm not sure, but see if you can search me up. If not, message me and we'll try to figure it out.

That's awesome. Yeah, join Scotland Goodreads. He reads now. He's a reader.

I read good. I graduated the reading to the fourth grade level.

Maybe you could write imaginary, too. I hope they don't make a sequel. Fuck my life. Do you think they'll make one?

I don't know. I really hope not.

This one's like a stuff elephant or something like that, that they have.

Unless they just take it and really do the imagination. And they just roll with the ridiculousness of it, maybe.

Yeah, I don't know if it could get worse. Like they would have to try to make it worse, right?

They would really have to try, and I think they could do it. I have faith in them doing that.

Well, hopefully, I won't be filming martyrs, or what's that one with the chainsaw full of something, right? The crazy chick with the chainsaw, the French film.

High tension or hot tension?

High tension, yeah. Hopefully, I don't make that when I'm in Paris. I'll be going to the catacombs. And the river?

I'll say, and remember, when you are in France, you've got to walk around going, oh, wee, wee, wee.

I actually have a little French celiac card so I can give it to people so they don't try to poison me.

Nice.

Yeah, so I can't say back, back, back, back, because that would be very confusing. And I will be checking out a horror-themed cafe in Gateshead, England, called The Rested Ghoul.

Nice. I'm not jealous at all.

I'm sure when I go in and I tell them that I'm a premium podcaster and that I will promote their cafe on my podcast, they might give me a free coffee.

Oh, absolutely. They'll be throwing you money.

Oh, yes, absolutely. They're like, who? I'm like, oh, perhaps. I haven't heard of me. My name's Kate Pollack.

And they'd be like, oh, yes.

They're like, that's so weird. You don't sound like Kate. I'm like, oh, I put that on for the show. I may try to meet up with Matt. What do you keep looking at? Scott's getting messages from the great beyond. No, Scott, don't go to imagination. No, stay here, Scott. It's not better there. What happened? Is everything OK?

Yeah, River's new toy. We got it today. He already killed it. Oh, puppy.

Oh, poppers. I was saying, I'm going to try to meet up with Matt. I'm going to try to take the two train down to see him.

That would be awesome.

Then we'll podcast together. We'll make a new show. Either one of us can edit, so that should be great. It will just be something to look forward to, please. It'd be a big piece of shit that Matt and I just make jokes the entire time. We'll make sure we get drunk doing it, too.

That'd be great. I mean, that's how you got to do it.

If you're with me, he's showing him Shudder and being like, you haven't seen this movie. He's like, for fuck sakes, Heather, I've seen Halloween. I'm like, are you sure?

Did you know you shot them six times?

Six times, Matt!

Do you know that premium podcaster cost? I'm a premium podcaster.

How much would you pay me if I walked into the rest of Google and told them I was a premium podcaster with a straight face?

I would give you 50 American dollars.

Oh, that's a lot of money! Don't be throwing around stuff like that to a Canadian, Scott! Do I have to record it and prove it to you?

Yes, absolutely.

That's fair.

I got to see this proof.

It's true, right? Well, thank you, everyone, as always, for supporting us. We look forward to chatting with you soon, and hopefully more good movies to come. We shared a couple of good stuff today, but please listen to the fellow podcasts that we have shouted out many, many times. They are awesome. They are all very premium podcasts, so much better than us. That's why I make fun of them, because I know that I'm just lowly beneath them, like I'm beneath Matt Wood all the time.

You wish. I'm beneath him all the time, if you don't want to say it.

Anyway, do you have anything to say to the good people, Scotty?

Until next time, everyone, don't go to imagination life. Because if you do, you might see a spoopy tiny bear. It might be in the kids upside down. But until next time, unpleasant dreams.

See ya, cheerio.

Cheerio.