[00:00] Welcome back to the Focus B show. This is Katie Sudddart here aka the focus b. And on this show I interview high performers and leaders around the world to discover their secrets on peak performance, productivity, mindfulness and leadership. So if you want to take your performance and your leadership to the next level, then you're in the right place. Listen up and connect with the magic.
[00:36] Thrilled to be kicking off today's episode with the topic of how to step into your own power and not to give up. Big topic, a lot to cover. First and foremost, what do I mean by stepping into your own power? It's an interesting way of looking at things. What is even your own power? What I'm referring to here is to stop feeling this helplessness and to stop feeling that someone out there is going to save you, that someone out there is going to solve everything for you. There are different ways in which subconsciously we go against the world and we see ourselves as sort of helpless and powerless faced with circumstances of the world. So just to clarify, this is what I mean by stepping into your own power. So you no longer feel powerless faced with the circumstances around you and in your life. So what are the ways in which sometimes we feel this helplessness and it's learnt helplessness? Obviously, when you blame and complain, when you're blaming and complaining about people around you and circumstances. This is a very clear way of saying circumstances you win, I lose, they win and they have all the power over you because you're letting that person's bad mood or the bad weather today to affect your mental state of being. We don't often see it that way, but this is what happens. We're saying circumstances, situations, people, you are allowed to put me in a bad mood all day. Now it's your choice to revert it the other way. But what are some other ways in which sometimes we feel helpless when we're too controlling? Now, that's not one that we often think about, but when we're controlling, we're saying I want to master every little bit of the circumstances and things, everything around me to ensure that I can be okay. And what we're really saying is I'm feeling helpless, therefore I need to manage everything around me so that I no longer feel this helplessness. And controlling is often one that we don't like to see or perceive because often people that have this controlling tendencies think that they actually are in control of things and they think it's the opposite of helpless. But if you really listen to that voice inside you, behind it you're kind of feeling powerless faced with everything. And this is forcing you to feel extremely controlling about everything. And this is the same when it comes to being rebellious. So if you feel very defensive, very pricky, very rebellious, someone says something, you want to do the opposite again. You think you're being in control. You think you're taking the situation in your hands, but what you're really saying is you're so against the situation, they're setting you so much that you're just going to pivot and do 360 and do the opposite. So you actually are the mercy of people and circumstances and this is your way of letting them impact you. So if you're doing something or choosing an action or behavior just as an opposite reaction to someone and you're feeling that inner rebellion, this is also a form of powerless. And I know it will upset maybe some of you and I'm sorry for that, but it isn't actually taking full ownership responsibility and moving forward with your real power, because your real power might be a different answer. It might not just be the exact opposite of someone or law or rule. It might just be another perspective that might be your real deep answer, but you're just choosing the opposite reaction as a form of rebellion. It's a tricky one to see, but I guarantee that it is also a form of feeling a bit helpless. And often anger with this huge bout of anger is when we're feeling powerless and we want to feel more powerful. But this isn't actually tapping into your true, great deep inner power, which is actually quite calm and grounded. It's not the huge form of rage and anger. Another form of helplessness is when you feel you need to hide and escape and not take action on things because you're afraid of consequences. This is also avoiding your own power. And this is something that's subtle so you won't see it as much, it's not as obvious as blaming and complaining and controlling and rebellion, but it's something that's more discreet, just procrastinate, just put something off, just hide, just down. And to step in your own power in those moments is to acknowledge that you've been hiding, take a break, pause, breathe, and start taking action. Start taking aligned action. And for rebellion and control, realize it, see that it's a pattern. And in those moments, instead of defaulting to control and rebellion, pause, think caliber and ask yourself what would be an aligned action to move forward? Wonderful. So we've covered that. Some forms of helplessness are blame, complain, control, rebel, hide. Negative self talk is an obvious one. And in general, the way I see it is if we're not in our power, there's some form of prickliness, the energy is off, our state is off, we're a bit defensive, we're a bit edgy, something's not quite right. So how do you step in to your power? How do you when you have all of these symptoms and all of these ways of behaving and these patterns, how do you step in and feel empowered and take action? First of all, you need to create that space, that mental, physical space. And this can be greatly enhanced when you have a meditation practice when you journal, when you work with the coach, because you start to see your own patterns and you gain some distance and from that distance it's then easier to actually step in to your power. What does that look like? Find any role model that you have that is very grounded, very calm, very present, very centered and taking amazing aligned action. Could be someone like the Dalai Lama, right? Could be someone like Tony Robins, could be someone like but someone who is just totally present, totally centered, totally in the present moment with you and then is taking massive action. They're not hiding, they're not blaming, they're not complaining, they're not saying it's the fault of this, that and the other that other person, the boss. They're just taking their actions and moving forward with whatever's important for them. Can be business, can be in their hobbies. These people generally have an aura that makes them nice to be around because they're generally quite positive state, quite action driven, quite yeah, just they have this energy that's different and if there's any problem, you go to and you address with them. They are solution finders and they will pivot it on its head and ask well, in this situation, what's the best you can do? Or what can you do with the cards that you've been dealt? And it makes you think about it. And instead of just listening to you complain maybe about a situation at work, they make you think in a proactive way and realize well, what can you do in this situation? So they often make you think differently. Once you learn how to shift from this state of helplessness to being in your power and you feel it in yourself, when you go to this more victim mindset, to this more ownership mindset, you will start to notice. It in people around you and you will find it more and more satisfying, nice, abundant to be with people with a more ownership mindset and and more more draining with people with the victim mindset because they just stay in the status quo. When you're feeling helpless and you'rebelling or you're being controlling or you're hiding from it, you're not shifting the situation. To shift the situation, you need to take action and to change your perspective and see what elements can you shift and affect and what are things that you just need to breathe and accept and move on with your life. So that's really how you can step into your power. How is this linked to not giving up? Because once you learn to really be fully empowered, do what is relevant for you, take that aligned action, then momentum builds up. We give up generally when we're in the state of victimhood, when we feel it's out of our control, when we give ownership to circumstances and say okay, circumstances you win. But when we choose, when we think no, actually I'm going to shift this differently. And of course there are some circumstances we can't at all control or affect or influence in any way. The weather is a very simple example and when that happens it's a matter of just doing the best with the cards you've been dealt, whether it's a weather or political situation or something a lot harder then it's just what is your margin of influence in that situation? And sometimes the only thing you can do is remain calm and grounded. In some of the hardest moments in life where you hardly have any influence at all, then all you can really do is manage your state and stay calm and stay grounded and try and be as peaceful calm as possible. That's it sometimes, but in other times you can totally shift it. For instance, if we look at your health or if we look at some of relationships guarantee there's probably a margin somewhere where you can take certain actions and take things to a different level. I hope all of this makes sense for you. I think it's such an important topic. I've run several workshops already on this topic of taking ownership, of stepping into our own power and is something that's available to you, like every moment. Like right now as you're watching or listening to this you can pause, shift, think of any situation where you realize you went the more helpless route. Shift it and think okay, these are the facts, this is how I'm going to manage my emotions, this is what I'm going to say or do from a place of calm, center, grounded presence. Hope this is useful for you. Wishing you a wonderful, fantastic day. Please leave a comment, a review. I love to hear from the listeners and the viewers. It means the world to me. So thank you so much for tuning in and also feel free to put your comments as to what episodes would you like me to cover, what topics would you like to hear from more? Thank you.
[11:29] Thank you so much for tuning in today to the Focus Bee show. I would absolutely love to hear your feedback so let me know in an app or you or YouTube comment what was most valuable for you and feel free to share this episode with a friend or a family member. Wishing you a wonderful, magical and focused day ahead.