[00:01] Welcome to The Focus B Show, where Katie Stoddart high performance coach, interviews experts around the world in performance and mindfulness. Now, here's your host. Katie.
[00:33] Welcome to a brand new episode of the Focus Be Show. Today I would like to dive into Stoicism and see what we can use and what we can learn from The Stoics and apply to self leadership. There are two concepts in particular that I'd like to discuss. Number one is the Stoicism view on dichotomy of control. And the second one is how to build an inner citadel and a strong inner citadel. Let's start with the dichotomy of control. This is directly linked to self leadership. Basically consists of looking that when you have a situation, you have the choice between acting if it's something that is in your control, or accepting if it's something that's not in your control. There are a few reasons why this is actually trickier than it sounds. First of all, it's not always obvious to identify if it is in your control or not. In certain circumstances, it might be obvious, for example, if your train or your plane is late, this is obviously nothing you can do about. But maybe if your team isn't working as well as you'd like it to, surely this is in your control, maybe as a leader or a manager, but it's not fully in your control, as in you can't act on their behalf. So there's quite a gray zone, though, that's one reason why it's tricky. And the second reason is because acceptance isn't the same as resignation. It doesn't mean just letting go and giving up. It does mean letting go, but not giving up, accepting. And the difference is that when we resign ourselves, it comes with negative, low, intense energy. In contrast, when you accept, it's actually quite neutral and positive and without bearing grudges. For example, to tackle the first part, looking at if it actually is in your control or not, this takes practice. So in each and every situation, try and look at the margin that is in your control. Your own thoughts, your own actions, maybe managing your emotions, and look at the part that isn't in your control, the part that really depends on other people or the weather or circumstances. And the sharper you get at identifying the two zones, the easier it will get to really see what is and what isn't within your control. Regarding the second aspect that I mentioned, this also takes practice, acceptance, and it comes from really not wanting to spend the time and energy and effort on something that you can literally do nothing about. The more you analyze it, the more you look into it, the more you introspect and the more you will see that it is just wasted effort. And as you notice this, you will no longer want to spend that time and energy. And from that place you will learn to accept the way things come to accept what you can do nothing about and to place all of your time, energy, focus on the things that you can control. So this was the first aspect in terms of the dichotomy of control of Stoicism. It's also used in Alcoholics Anonymous. It's used everywhere. Give me the force to act on what I can and the wisdom to differentiate between what I can and can't do. That's roughly how it's put in different words. The second aspect was the inner citadel. This is also a concept from the Stoics, and I particularly love this quote by Zeno of sitium, who said, the man who conquers himself conquers the world. And this is how it ties back again to self leadership, because we want to be able to conquer ourselves and build this inner citadel of strengths so that we're resilient to anything that comes our way. I like to think of the anachronym poor. So I imagine a poor and think of poor as perception, action and will. These are wonderfully explained in Ryan's Holiday book the Obstacle is the Way that I particularly recommend. It's a fantastic book on Stoicism. He explains that these are the three key aspects to be worked on that are totally within our control, perception, action and will. When we think of perception, we don't actually realize how much of an impact it is. Anything that we place our attention on, we can choose to view as an obstacle or its growth as something positive or negative. It's only how we label it that determines what it actually is. The subjectivity comes from our own view. So let's look at an example. When Thomas's Edison's factory burnt down in 1914 and he lost all of his work, millions of dollars, the equivalent of millions of dollars today. His reaction while his factory was on fire and he was seeing all of his work burned down, was to call his son and to say, go and get your mother and her friends and your friends, because you'll probably never see such a great fire. So his perception on the moment was a to see that there was nothing in his control and b to change his perception to. This is actually quite an amazing fire to watch. Let me enjoy it as a moment per se, even though I'm actually losing all of my work. Such a shift in perception isn't something that just happens in these tough moments. It's something that's strained all along in many small moments that are difficult, so that when something so big happens, we're able to shift our perception to adapt to the current and present moment. As Shakespeare says, nothing is good or bad, but thinking so makes it so. And the more we reflect on this and more we train our perception, have a discipline of perception, as Ryan Holiday talks about, the better it gets and the easier it is for us to overcome obstacles and to even thrive in obstacles, because our perception has changed. This was the first point on perception, action and will. The second point is action. And this means taking action, being proactive. As Stephen Covey says in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, this is the number one habit. Be proactive. Because this is how you make things happen. So taking action in spite of fear, in spite of emotional resistance, in spite of circumstances being difficult, always taking action and moving forward and being creative, being creative in the way we take action, thinking outside the box, not doing things on autopilot. And an action doesn't mean just grinding all day. An action can be taking an hour for reflection. That is an action. It doesn't mean always being on the computer, writing emails all day. And the last point is will perseverance. This is different to action because will is an attitude. This is the mindset that we have and the mindset that we developed in order to consistently grow, to consistently persevere in spite of obstacles. In many ways, it is this will that helps us to move forward and to take these actions. These were the poor, the perception, action and will of the inner citadel. And building a strong inner citadel is fundamental to self leadership, to leading ourselves effectively, but also to living a fulfilled, happy life. Because we're not dependent on external circumstances and things that happen, because we have built a strong inside inner peace, calmness, composure. And this is what stoicism is all about. And I fundamentally believe that having these stoic practices in place, that we continue on a daily basis, can help us to endure difficult moments, can help us to lead ourselves and others better, and to be more peaceful and happier and not as emotionally unstable in many ways. Thank you so much for listening. Please leave a comment. Review the podcast. Let me know what your insight was and how this has helped you. Thank you so much for tuning in and talk to you soon. Bye.
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