Upward Trend

Hour with Ben Maller starts right now. That it does, and we are back at it in the Magic Podcast Shop here as we are in the air everywhere the vast power of my heart, the global reach of podcasting, and thank you for choosing us to listen to. We

appreciate it. A lot of audio options and we're glad you have chosen to stumble into the Fifth Hour and myself Bennell with the man that does not know how to park in a normal way David Gascon And wow, I really appreciate that, you know, I'm I'm only one of the two people in this party that's been driving and parking and actually showed up to work every day, and so uh yeah, and I appreciate the eloquent introduction done now, Well, you don't need to pat yourself on

the back. I am following company guidelines. I am following what my bosses have told me to do. And I want you to know that I did have some traffic making my way to the studio in a previous show because I Bella was laying in the hallway, so I had to I had to jump over Bella to get in here. You're like, easy, You're lucky you don't drink. I mean, because you could. You can really do some damage if you trip over her. That's A's a little dog. Yeah, she's the size of an ee walk. She's smaller than

an e walk. Uh, yeah, she was. She fell asleep though she was bored the other night with my monologues. And I looked over and she was like, I see, I texted you before you started that shell and I said, this is gonna be hammock Radio by Ben Maller and sure ship your dog passes out while you're doing a monologue. Well keep in mind, though, Guesstcon, you're very uncomfortable with originality.

That's not originals and uh and all that. That was one of the more Now this Gascon was upset because we did the Sour Hour where people called up and just bitched and complained invented about things that were going on in life. What you don't understand, I'm gonna teach you about radio guests gone that kind of stuff. People loved all right. The people could not get enough of that. We spilled that into a second hour. It was magical. So that you're wrong, You're just completely wrong. I don't

know if people love that. People have been watching the news seven and they've been watching all the negative pub social media, why do they need an hour strictly for that on your show? Because it's you don't understand this, because you know you don't. You live in a bubble, your West of the four oh five guy. But there's a lot of people that listen to the radio that are by themselves, and people who don't have any family around.

They're boxed in their apartments and they they're just they feel like the world has been boxed off for them. And if you give them the opportunity and they're alone, they're scared to get on the radio and complain and vent. It's it's therapeutic, it's empowering. People love it. They can't get enough of it. You don't understand. You think everyone's got a bunch of family around a bunch of friends,

and it's not like that for a lot of people. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, life has led them astray and they're by themselves and they the only friends they have. Or the radio. Wait a minute, they have the radio, they have social media, they have a telephone, Like, why not pick up the phone or call somebody or send a text message? Send you the hell? Are you gonna call guests on at three o'clock in the fucking morning? All right? When I'm on, who you gonna call? First of all,

I'm awake during that time. Second? Loser? Wait, I mean I'm a loser. So you're calling your own listeners losers because they're also wake at that time. I'm calling you a loser is what I call. You're a loser. You know, I'm not usually working. I'm usually cutting up sound for your show, trying to make your podcast better. By the way, I got some great news for you, and I have a wonderful idea that I have not disclosed for you just yet with this podcast. A right, Well, don't wait,

are you teasing that? Are you gonna pay off the tease right now? I will wait. I will wait, because you have some things on the menu as well. I do have some things on the menu. So we've got the Kiwi Pink Slip, the Lenny Review, and we'll get to that. We might get some other stuff as well along the way, but we've definitely got those stories to get to. So I'll start with the Kiwi Pink Slip and I have been impacted by the coronavirus. The economy has started to affect me here and if you've followed

the show, you know that. In addition to doing the radio show for Fox in this podcast for years, I have been, believe it or not, an international radio correspondent for Radio Sport out of Auckland, New Zealand, which is a national network. New Zealand is not a huge country, but it is on all over New Zealand and they talk about things like cricket and soccer and things like that.

But they have me on once a week and I have been doing this for about a decade going on, making weekly appearances talking in US sports because they get the US sports games football and basketball, mostly not so much baseball, but they get those games on television in New Zealand and so I had become over the years, I was a staple with Darcy walder Grave, who was a big radio personality in New Zealand. He did a

morning show. I started on his morning show as a correspondent, and then he moved to afternoon drive a number of years ago, and I went on with Darcy in afternoon Drive. And we become pen pals, We become friends. We text each other. Uh. Just a radio guy. And I love the fact that we can tell, you know, trade stories about what radio is like in New Zealand. And he he'll tell me his stories and I'll tell him the struggles that I have here doing a radio in the

United States. And so we shoot the ship a lot, and on and off the air, and on and off the air, and uh and and so it turns out that I got a phone call. Yeah, I was out for a walk. Actually, I was taking my walk around the neighborhood and Darcy says, I got some bad news for us. I said, okay, I'm ready for the bad news. What's the bad news? And he said that they were shutting down the entire network that radio Sport, which had been on the air for like twenty years in New Zealand,

and they were they were going off the air. And he didn't have a lot of information. Um he just told me that there's no guarantee it comes back once the uh everything's done and we get back to normal life in the world. So he didn't know about that. There's no guarantee it'll ever come back and uh so, So I lost that gig and they paid me a little bit of money every week to go on there. But I I really feel bad for the people that

I'd become friends with obviously wore out of work. Darcy said he'll be okay because he's saved up an f you fund, which is important. Most people haven't done that. Um so, so, yeah, I lost the gig in New Zealand, won't be calling into them anymore and I'm hoping that they will be able to bring that back once all of this madness in the world that comes to an end. That's unfortunate. Now did you or have you during your time your relationship with Darcy, have you ever watched more

sports down Under? Like well it's Australian rules basketball, um or rugby or maybe some Australian soccer anything like that. Have you have you dipped your toes and tell God no, the only thing that's annoyed me. Is I have been preempted at several times because of cricket. And I didn't know anything about cricket before I started doing this, And the cricket is a big sport there, and these games

will sometimes they go like three to seven days. You'll have a cricket match that will go three to seven days. There's no clock. People complain about baseball, but imagine being handcuffed by cricket. My god, I'd rather be drugged, handcuffed and gagged and I have to sit through seven days of cricket. But U But yeah, so you know it's and we have a lot of listeners. You know that our show, the Overnight Show, was picked up at night

on Radio Sport in New Zealand. We've got a cult following in that Country's hopefully you guys can still listen to this podcast if if you're hearing it now, and you can hear the radio show on I Heart Radio. And it's not just that. Now, I have our buddy Art Martinez AREDI Martinez, who had been working at the NBC Sports Radio network. They shut down that network here in the United States. They went out of business this week and that's it. They're done, no more NBC Sports Radio,

and so he lost his job. I gotta tell you, though I've never told this story before, but years ago, when my deal was up at Fox, I had had some conversations they were interested in the Mala brand over there at the Peacock Radio Network and uh they had reached out to me about possibly doing some stuff with them.

And fortunately it never got that serious because Fox ended up keeping the show obviously, and I'm still hearing, very happy to be here, but they they were flirting with me a while back doing the old mating dance, and I am so happy that I did not did not end up making that that option. I didn't. I don't really have that option to make. It was building towards that, but I'm happy that didn't work out for obvious reason.

But it does suck for the my friends and radio that I've known for years that are that are out of work there. It reminds me of a story when I returned home from from Bakersfield after a six month tour with the Mariners High affiliate, and I had an offer that was sort of on the table from this UH, this recruiter who was doing work overseas and uh it was actually a state run news channel. Uh, and the People's Republic of China. And I remember you encouraging me

to take this job. I did, I did. I told you to go to China. I told you to move to China. Why didn't you move to China? You could have been right in the front lines of media coverage in China. Yeah, I could have been on the firing squad. Could you have a man the choices we do and do not make? That would have been quite a moment. I don't even know if I survived. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio

and the I Heart Radio app. Isn't it? It's the old philosophy about life, right. Life is just the product of the decisions you make right every every day. The decisions you make leads to the ultimate outcome of your life. You make the good decisions, and you don't even know at the time, Like, who the hell? Who knows? You think? Nobody could have predicted three months ago that we'd be in the position we're in right now, right, you know?

And so the same people now seem to think they know what's going to happen three months from not you don't know, right and speaking and speaking of which, since we've we've had a bump in in certain things across the platforms, I think it's a good reminder to tell folks that listen to this podcast or listen to your show is the first thing that I would recommend to do from a financial sense, is to call your credit card companies, call your home lender, and call anyone that

you have an equity line set up with. Because credit card companies right now are offering either zero percent a p R or they're not charging any finance fees for the months of of March to April, not April to May. So uh, those are good things to point out right now. And if you have a situation, whether you're a homeowner or you're renting, I would talk to the people upstairs because they're gonna be in a position they're willing to negotiate with you because you have what they want and

that's the money, it's not the property itself. So these are trying times for everybody. Obviously, it feel bad for for you losing your gig down down Under, but there's actually some good news Ben, because we had just gotten word earlier this week about the Fifth Hour with Ben malle a lot with some other podcasts are on the I Heart platform. But month to date, for the month of March, we were up sixty seven percent, Wow, sixty

seven percent compared to the month of February. And over the last sixty days we're actually up thirty nine percent from from where we were prior to that. So, uh, there's a lot of good reasons for that, and I think part of it's the overall health of Ben Mallory. You don't have any kidney stones or gall stones. Uh, you don't have a burnt mouth, You're not sick anymore.

You're not losing your phone at Costco anymore. You're not getting backed into by cars in the parking lot of cost Nothing bad can happen if you don't love you leave your house, and right, I mean we're gonna where everyone's generally, you really have to have some bad luck if you injure yourself just staying at home all day. Yes, yeah,

we're doing it now. Part of the reason why I brought up those numbers is I have a good idea and I think it's a great one for us that we should execute in the in the month of April is because just yesterday we had a good conversation, especially you with the great Prince of Darkness, League Kline, and I think in the month of April we should do something a little bit different for the audience where UM, I pick either a date or sport or one particular

athlete in your lifetime that you can reflect about, and we can do this in a short form version fifteen and twenty minutes and to be an isolated event. So if we were to start this for the month of April, one player in particular I want you to talk and reflect about would be Jonathan Broxton. So I do other random it is. It is random, but there are some great moments, especially because we got worried earlier this week

that the Dodgers are back on television. UM, you and Lead talked about a ton of things, mostly Clipper related, but they're athletes and they're players, and there's dates that come to mind for everybody, and especially in the sports world. I think if you had a chance to point about that person or that event for fifteen or twenty minutes, it's a lot of the background stuff that you know, you as a fan can elaborate on just because the anguish or the excitement that you had or do still

have about that particular person. So I think that'd be a good treat, just a little bit of an appetizer before we get to the main course with everyone else that we bring. So we can add that to the two future editions of the show. But you know, Broxton. The first thing I remember about Jonathan Broxton, my memory of him as a Dodger was that home run he

gave up in the against the Philadelphia Philist Stairs. Yeah, was at I was at that game in the auxiliary press box, and I think that ball is still sailing around the world. I believe it is. It's like a comet at this point. That ball was hit so so fucking far by Matt Stairs. It was unbelievable. Uh that, And I remember Broxton just being morbidly obese. He was like three pounds, some massive human being. Jonathan Broxton, he

was huge. I was hoping he'd maybe recapture a little bit of his glory when he went to Cincinnati, but after Matt Stairs just destroyed him, Oh that was it. Yeah, he was never he was and he had been a dominant pitcher for the Dodgers the first few years he was there, Uh, the relief guy, their closer. He was e r a s that were ridiculously low and he was a dominant picture. But he never trusted him. You know,

It's like it was one of these guys. He had great numbers, but then it seemed like in big spots he would puke all over the mound. And and I recall that, and he bounced around after he left the Dodgers, he went from team the team, the team, and he played for four other teams. He's not even that he should still be pitching, but he was so bad and he's out of baseball. I think he's you're like thirty

five now and he's not not pitching at less. Well, no one's pitching anywhere right now because what's going on. But he's he's been out of baseball for a couple of years. I believe he's done skis at this particular point. That ball was absolutely crushed. I I haven't seen a ball hit that hard since Mark McGuire did that back in Dodger Stadium in the in the Glory days. Were hit one out of the stadium, but man, he fucking tattooed Broxton in that game. And that was the That

was the m the Dodgers. Yeah, it was. It was absolutely insane. Uh And and because of that, you talk about, you know, decisions or and this wasn't really a decision, like it was a poor decision, but it was an incident. Like Jonathan Broxton's career went to ship after that home run. And Matt Stairs is for the rest of his life Philadelphia sports legend. Like my guy Fats in Philly and all you guys in Philly, this guy's because of that Pinship home run, that two run moonshot at Dodger Stadium.

That that and and for those who don't recall, the Dodgers would have been even up to two in the NLCS. It was. It was Game four and because the Stairs at that home run and some other things happened, the Dodgers lost the Phillies one. They were they were up three oh of. The series was pretty much over, and

it did turn out to be over. But Matt Stairs, I believe he was doing some television work for the Phillies and uh he I know he's beloved there because of that home run, and he didn't play for the Phillies all that much. He There's another guy, Matt Stairs. I remember him mostly with the with the Oakland Athletics, but he played with a bunch of different teams. He bounced all over the place. But in Philadelphia, man he is, He's all about it and they love him. Yeah, it

was like it was like Stairs, Daniel Murphy. There were just certain guys during the Dodgers run of the last handful of years that have picked them apart. Like Daniel Murphy was batting four hundred. I think in a couple of series against the Dodgers, Matt Stairs ruined them. And then of course you know what happened with Houston too. But they're just guys in particular that really lit up

the Dodgers and in crunch time situations. I gotta tell you, though, I liked Matt Stairs, although no, I don't like what he did to the Dodgers, but I remember when he was a young player. Um, he came up with Montreal and he played somewhere else. But I remember him in the mid nineties with Oakland and they came in. I was covering the Angels and he came in there and he remember I was in the a's dugout, and he walked into the dugout and he looked out at the field at the Big A and he just like, oh,

this is so excited. He had never been there before at that point, and he was like so excited, like he like he was like like a kid. Like it's it's the same reaction like I would have if I was a kid walking into a ballpark, or any of us would have for the first time. How cool was It was just neat to see that because it was like it was humanizing. You know, a lot of these guys are complete douchebags and they're just you know whatever. But he was like he really was appreciative of the moment,

which is kind of cool. That's what I mean. That's what minor league players talk about. Is the show, right, Like you always think, well, what's the show? Like the show is is major league Baseball. It's like when you get between the lines, that shock and you are in a major league facility, not not rookie ball. I'm not

a double A facility, not somewhere in the sticks. But man, like, when you get to the show, it's I mean, it doesn't matter if you're playing in Oakland or Pittsburgh where it's an empty yard like when you're there, that's that's it. That's that's real. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, man, it's and and then way these the baseball stadiums in the major leagues,

it's it's the taj Mahall. It's insane, like there's no There used to be some some shiphole stadiums that were terrible and disgusting, you know, like Sha Stadium, Comiskey, Wrigley Field, even before they renovated Wrigley Field was just the visiting locker room. You had to walk like a stair maze to get to the locker room. You have to walk through a little catwalk where the fans were below you, and it was wild. And it's not like that from

what I understand anymore. They've admitted much better. Um So everywhere is first class. All the way they they they say clubhouse, it's really like at a five star golf resort, and you know, like you're at a golf resort in the locker room and the way it's set up and all that. Um Now, I wanted to bring up the Lenny Dikestra interview from last week. Alright, so, uh, now we both had the same idea. After we had talked to him, I thought Lenny was great man. Was he entertaining?

You told some wonderful stories, wild and crazy. It was classic Lenny Dikestra. So I figured, hey, we get some publicity out of this, right because Lenny said what I felt were several newsworthy things. We didn't get any though, gasco now and I found out why. I reached out to some of my friends who work in the mainstream media at big newspapers, and they almost all said the same thing, some version of the same thing. They essentially said that they are ignoring Lenny. It's like the Boy

that Cried Wolf. That Lenny has done and said so many outrageous things over his last few years since he's had some legal problems that they've just decided to stop covering and they stopped reporting his amazing declarations and all that. So it sucks. But I felt like the fact that he said he was gonna get pardoned by Donald Trump, I thought that was interesting. And some of the stories he said about Barry Bonds and I thought all of

that was fascinating. But it's only only for our ears, apparently, I don't know. I mean, there were a lot of people that did respond via social media though, enjoying the stories or saying like he's batshit crazy. Um, there's quite a few that that echered my sentiments about how the

fund does he live that long? You know, he's fifty seven. Now, well, that's a great point because I remember the joke not so much with Lenny, but years ago the joke was, and it was kind of a sick mccob joke was like, wow, you know, Mike Tyson is not gonna make it to forty or or Darryl Strawberry or Dwight Gooden, you know, the guys that were just going for it back in the day with the coke and all that, just living life to a life of excess. And here we are

in these games. Mike Tyson is a mellow guy. You know, he's he's got he's got cats, but they're kitty cats, not not big tigers and big cats. And and he's living a tranquil life and doing yoga and all that stuff. And Darryl Strawberry is a like a preacher in St. Louis. He's a he's a man of God. Now, Dwight Gooden still crazy. Dwight Gooden is still doing wild stuff and getting arrested and living life on the edge, but he's

still around. And then you got Lenny Distre, who was like the party boy from the Phillies and the Mets, and it seems like he's doing better. Actually thought Lenny sounded better than I was expecting, to be honest with you, because last I had heard Lenny, he was not doing good. Yeah. I mean I when I had to look at some some background stuff going on Google, you just see pictures of him, and the first thing I thought was, man,

he looks like he's seventy, not fifty seven. He just looked banged up and worn and like an old glove. And yeah, he Well, that's what over indulgence will do, right, you live live in the fast lane. It's uh. Burning the candle at both ends eventually catches up to Yeah, him and I think Lawrence Taylor, those are the two guys that really worked it from both sides of the candle, and they have maxed down on what they've done on and off the field. So colorful men, I will say

that much. Because they got a decorated past of accomplishment, and of course some some infamous moments. To be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. So now we can do some study this if you want gascon you are you were going to tell some you were saving something. Weren't you saving something that you wanted to rant about right now before we get to the other stuff. Oh no,

I mean that was that? Was it earlier? What I what I thought when you mentioned yeah, because that was it you were teasing that. Well, yeah, I think it's important, right because sixty seven percent in in a month, that's that's huge. You should be happy about that. No, I'm glad people are enjoying the show. I what's the point of doing if nobody's gonna listen to what I can just you know, sit in the room and not spend

all this time doing this nonsense. Why I know. But we've had more people than have participated in it, and I think that it's I think it's a good cause, right Like that's you you said a couple of weeks ago that we want to run and gown with with the big people that are are here at Fox. At my heart in you know, we're putting the town. We're putting the work, and that's paying off a little bit. I mean not monetarily, but of course. But it's a funnel rama. It's the funnel rama. Guest. It's not about

the money man, it's not about that. Listen. Well, we're just killing time. We got nothing else to do, right, come on, you got nothing else going on? What do you got going on? You watched The Animal Kingdom on TV or something like that. What do you got going on? So? I have been busy. I've been reading a lot more. I'm actually writing a pilot as we speak. Um. I have a makeshift little workout in my backyard, a medicine ball, a heavyweight ball, two dumbbells, a heavy rope, and some

jump rope. So it's actually you said too, but you've actually got three dumbells when you include your that's not I mean you could save that for your your overnight show with the lightweights and drunks and methodics. So um, but yes, I'm doing my best to exercise and maintain some kind of a semblance. Um, but we need to get back to work as a country man. I was watching a couple of days ago on Fox on Big Big Fox Um Laura Ingram had a doctor on. His name is Steven Smith. He was a I think he's

an infectious disease specialist, and he was on. He was talking about the chloroquine, the hydroxy chloroquin and saying that that was a game changer in his and his thoughts about how he's been treating people, and his patients haven't been intubated, so they're not having the you know, basically the entire was I guess a pipe like a windpipe broken through with their with their throat all the way

down to help them breathe. And he thinks that with the way that they've been treating people that this can help obviously push people from being an impatient to an outpatient with obviously proper medical care. But I mean, Matt, New York has been hit so hard and say with New Jersey, I think we're doing a pretty good job here in California so far. Yeah, you know, I I'm hoping that the doom and gloom crowd will not be proven correct. You know that they're not. Oftentimes they're wrong.

These these bold declarations that are that are being made, But that drug turns out to be the one that that can put a stop to this or at least treat the people so they don't die. I mean that that would be a wonderful thing obviously, and that would that would get us back. But there there is a point. It's an odd thing. You know, there's fine balance. You know that that you have to at some point you

gotta get back or else there's nothing to get back to. Yeah, I mean, and and so you have to you have to. People say that's cold, and that's not right. You can't say that, but that's just the reality of the world. You at some point you have to make a decision where we have to get commerce back or else there's there's just gonna be people dying from from not having jobs and not being able to pay for anything. Everyone

be it's just gonna be brutal. Yeah, because it all compounds, right, because if you're not if you're at home, you're not exercising, probably you're probably not eating well, you're either smoking or drinking or doing both. You're going batch it crazy because you're stuck at home and pretty much into quarantine. There's no engagement with people, like you can't go out and interact, you can't go to a bar or restaurants. So I

just think for your inner self, you need that. You need to get out and scream a little bit, right. I mean I blitz right down the four oh five and the one Tin Freeway. But man, this is like one of those times where I wish there actually was traffic because I I need that normal stay. I need the engagement. And we can do as much as we can on the podcast and you you on your radio show, but without having that kind of connectivity with sports and

movies and shows and a lot of stuff. There's yeah, we need it all, man, and then we need to back as soon as possible. So it's a it's a huge, huge accomplishment about what the you know, people in the medical field, doctors and nurses and surgeons and people in the ICU are doing right now, because yeah, those are our heroes right now, and those are on the front lines.

It's not I mean, our military can only do so much, but right now, it's it's the people that are in their sc ups right now doing all the heavy lifting for us. Yeah. Absolutely. And the other thing too about that is, you know we've seen in Italy and I guess parts of America now medical students that normally would have to spend years before they get to the front lines are now being put into the front lines because desperate times call for desperate measure, right, as that old

old saying goes. And I'm hopeful that what you referred to as far as the uh, the situation with the the drug that they think might be a breakthrough that help treat the coronavirus, that that they they're not gonna gonna wait a year, that whatever it takes right that you need to have some uh you know, expediting of the process or process right You've you you can't just sit back and wait for a year. You're gonna if

this is working, then keep giving it to people. Yeah, absolutely so in the meantime, I still would encourage a lot of people that we've had a few but when you listen to the podcast, make sure to rate us, subscribe, download it, and then give us five stars. But we always listen or always read the reviews on it, so there's something we can tweak or something we can improve on or do something different. We're all ears. It's not like we have just a proper format that we follow,

you know, nine to five on a schedule. So yes, it's a lot of improv on the podcast, and though we're we're open if you want to hear us talk to somebody in particular that maybe you know that we know, or you'd just like to hear that you think would be good. I know justin in Cincinnati and some other people have actually been reaching out to try to get certain people on the podcast. So it's uh, yeah, so

le's good. We're open to that. Absolutely. Have we Have you had any adult adult actresses hit you up to get a little air time? Uh? No, No. The only people in the porn industry have been guys that were friends of the show. Yeah, I've I've told the story before, but I've had several adult male obviously porn stars who who were big Mallard Militia guys. Yeah. In fact, the

great Seymour Butts, one of the great porn guys. He's been open up about it and all that he's I don't think he's I don't know if he's working right now, still in the business, but he he was a big fan of the show. And there was a couple of guys back that are out of the adult industry that we're big, big fans back in the day, and they would tell me like they were. They would be up at night editing their hard work, and uh, they would

be listening to the show. So it's rather interesting what they were doing while they were listening to the show. But you know what, teach their own why not? Oh that's good. Yeah, all right, let's do a little study this and then we'll put the the baby to bed, as they say. So a new study several several listeners sent this to me. They they were like, hey, did you see this, mallor because it relates to Doc Mike and what he thinks is the treatment for all of

life sells. But a new study sets that, uh, astronauts in you know, they got out of space in the future, that their urine, their pp uh could end up creating moon concrete. They could use their own urine to build big structures on on the moon. About that they could make a base on the moon with their own urine and make the concrete from the moon dirt. How about that? So what do they do with their fecal manner? I

guess they can. They can make some bricks out of that. Also, why not I don't know, I didn't see that part of the story, but I did that. People are very excited to think that your urine is so powerful that it could be used to create like concrete, you know, our special magical urine. What would cause you, like, how many days into the wilderness would you have to be in before you drink your own piss? That's a good question.

At some point you go to survival mode, right, So if you really want to, if you love life and you still want to live and you're not ready to check out, then you would do it. It's just like remember the movie the plane crash where they started eating the people. I mean, you never think you'll get to that point, but you're only a couple of decisions away or bad things happening to you from But I'd really have to be out. I mean, I have no interest, and you're you're more of the kind of a freak

than I am. Gastcon You probably occasionally drink your own urine, you know, have many calls for a time. I might have to do it, And it's all about surviving, right all right. A new study out this week shows that alcohol sales up fifty five cent fifty five and people following the shelter in place orders, but they are doing it, and I've noticed this. Now. I always have a lot of drunks that caught me up on the overnight, but it has been a special breed that has called up

here in recent days on my show. So I I have my own scientific data, guesscont I don't need some study to tell me that alcohol consumption is up. I think it's up, like seven is what I think. Okay, it's beer, it's whiskey, it's a fireball, you name it. Whatever it is that people can't get enough of it. Man, it's out of control. I'm a part of the statistic because I have ordered wine and and scotch for certain friends. A couple of buddies that are married. I've gotten them

wine because their attorneys and they're stuck at home. And a couple other buddies that are always on the go because they're in sales. Our sales people. They go a little bit harder with their with their toys, whether it's alcohol or extracurricular drugs. Uh So, yeah, I'm I'm a part of the stats that I have got them little little gifts of of alcohol. But you've got to maintain somehow, right, Yeah. Yeah,

Like I'm not. I have not gone to that extreme, but I can't really because I still have to work. So I think if I was all schnocker on the radio, that would be um, it might be better. I don't know ifrobably get in trouble for it, so I don't think that's a good idea. But I'm one of the few people that is not just boozing, just on the

booze cruise and just going for it. And I think next week I'm gonna do an hour, the Drunk Hour and only have people call up that are completely slashed, and we'll just we'll just play a game with the drunk people, because you know, when someone's completely hammered. Every drunk caller I've ever had, if you ask them, I do this bit where I asked him to blow into the phone. Right. We pretend like we have a breathalyzer test to determine how drunk they are, and if you're drunk,

every drunk does it. They might complain about it, but they're gonna do it, and uh it's it's a good indicator. So it's pretty funny, all right. New survey out says that influencers have shown engagement has been spiking in recent weeks on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok and whatnot that I won't use TikTok uh definitely will not use that for several reasons.

But I believe in what the influencers, and this is a great time for us too, especially if we could put some stuff out there that people can engage on on Instagram, because you think about it, right now, people want to advice and a couple of things. First of all, they want some advice on how to work out or what to do when they're at home. Second of all, I would imagine there's probably an uptick in people showcasing

how they cook. I know I'm one of them. I was teaching you and rich Ornberger earlier than you are such a narcissist. Wait wait, you can't you just say thank you for supplying me with some excellent No, no, no, no no, I'm trying to help you out. I want you to be more likeable, you know, be a man of the people. I know you're west of the four or five. When we live west of the four or five, it's hard to be relatable to the common man. But the common man does not send out photos of what

they cook and brag about how long they fast. The douchebag sends that out, not that dosten I faster this week? For I think it was like over sixty hours. Did I post on social media that I fasted? I did not. I didn't even send you. I couldn't. I could have sent you a photo of the screen on my phone. I didn't do it because I didn't want to be called a douche bag. Well, I'm sorry that you feel

that way. You're the same asshole. It takes pictures of my car and the way that I parked because it's an inconvenience for you to lock an extra ten feet for the studio. Because you're you're, you're, you're completely an ignoramus, all right when it comes to parking, you are a stumble bum. And I am shaming you because I believe you will be scared straight by the Mallar militia. And you will be scared straight by the Mallew militia, and I want and the circle back to the original topic

at hand. For for everyone out there, I made a man's meal. It was a filet wrapped in bacon, three strips, some potatoes, and a couple of green beans. And I'm not gonna say who told me that you don't actually you didn't actually make that. You don't know how to cook what I've heard, No, you heard wrong. I've heard you don't know how to cook. I d all my cooking. I don't burn my mouth, I don't burn my pizza. I do my steak about medium to medium. Well, now

I'm thinking about starting a YouTube cooking channel. That's how good a cook I am. And I couldn't make a YouTube cooking channel. You already have a functioning kitchen. How the funk are you gonna have a YouTube cooking channel? The kitchen is like done, but considering what's going on in the world, it will never actually be finished. I'm convinced that this will just be nine percent done and then the last five percent will never actually be finished.

Like the power that's out in part of the kitchen will never be repaired because we can't have anyone come over because of what's going on, uh and all that. But no, wouldn't that be We should start a YouTube cooking channel. And I'll bet you my videos when I'm making that Mallard pizza pie or those Mallard chicken strips or or any of the other dishes that I prepare. People would love that. Oh my god, it would be

a cooking sensation on the YouTube. You have a lot of sick of fans, That's why they would love it. It doesn't you can ship into a fucking oven and your fans with loving man. That was the greatest ship I've ever seen. Please don't wipe, please, please please? Can I have your soiled underwear from work? Hashtag blessed? Yeah? Alright, calm down, calm down. Like Sprinkles the Clown over there, Lenny's old friend. We didn't We should have brought that.

I remember Sprinkles the Clown and Lenny doing the dumpster dive, and remember that back in the day. Next time we have Lenny on, we'll have to ask him about Sprinkles. Yeah, after he's pardoned from Trump and yes, the whole thing. Uh. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live. Al Right, how

about this. Here's a depressing story. New York restaurants lost at least two billion dollars in sales the first twenty two days of the month of March. That according to a survey of business in the state of New York. And it's not any different anywhere else. Even this is the same in every big city and pretty much everywhere that has been locked down. You're looking at these kind of losses like what we talked about earlier, and the fact you've got to get back working, right, you get

back out there and work now. I will I will say for where we're at. I don't know about you in your area, but where we work in Sherman Oaks in Los Angeles, a lot of the establishments have kept It's almost like Valentine's Day where they have kept business open. But they actually have their own specific menu. So it's not like they're gonna go from appetizers to a main course to desert or whatever. But they have streamlined a menu for for picking up, especially like in Sherman Oaks

in the studio. City makes it easy, so we popped in and out of the studio. We can place an order and you can either get it to go on your own or have someone else pick it up, like for door Dash or whatever. But at least some of the places here in l a they've kept it open, but yeah, that's gonna be a brutal shot to New York. How is your brothers surviving out there by the way, Um,

he's doing okay. You know, they're they're cooped up in their apartment obviously, so they don't have like a backyard to go out and wander around, and so they've been trying to go out and walk. I really feel bad for my nieces though. I mean my one, my older niece, she's a senior in high school. This is our last year in high school, and this is how she ends her high school career. You know, he's always a big deal.

You don't get any of the fun things that you would normally get at the end of high school, you know, especially like she's social. I'm not I didn't really mind it. I hated high school, but but she liked it. And she's getting ready to go to college. And that's the other thing. Like she's going to college next I guess later this year now in South Carolina, Charleston, And who knows if that's gonna happen, right, I mean, is this we're gonna start next school year? Is this still gonna

be going on? And she gonna have to do online classes and uh, but my brother seems to be doing pretty well. They're all in good health. Last we check knock on wood and but they're wandering around and they're right in the belly of the beast there in New York City where it's been brutal. And since we have downtime, that that means we should be pressing on with our ambitions of of doing television work. Yes, I mean we should be networking and reaching out to people and and

pitching stuff. But it seems like I have been doing that and you've just I'm not. I really haven't been reaching out to anybody because I just feel like no one, no one's hiring anybody right now, no one, that none of this stuff is gonna happen right now. So what are we doing. You're casting a line, You're casting a line for future. Not I feel and I feel guilty though so many of my friends are losing their jobs. I think, am I really gonna be talking about you

just lost a job a couple of days ago. I know I did lose one of my jobs, So I'm like, yeah, do you feel bad for me? I've lost a couple of jobs, so far and not really feel bad for Should I feel bad for you? I think so, because it all, it all ties into you. I mean, but you'll get your jobs back, like your jobs are you do play by play? Like that will come back. There will be games in and they will hire you to play by play. They can't really hire you to do

play by play. What are you gonna do play by play? On marketing? My cooking, My cooking is great. I can do some play by playing. You're cooking. Let me do a couple more quick ones because I want to get these in because I I put these things together, so I don't want to waste my hard work preparing these. A new survey suggested that more than half of concert attendees in the United States might that's a weasel word, might not buy tickets for a considerable period after the

current coronavirus restrictions are lifted. So they're concerned this is going to destroy the live venue business model with concerts and comedy and all that, that people are not going to go out. And I think this is a legitimate concern.

I only this is bullshit because a certain number of people, and maybe it's rightfully so, have been scared beyond belief because of this, and so it's gonna take a decent amount of time for people to be willing to go out and experience these things and not be scared out of their minds. I will admit to you and to those listening, I was hesitant about going to concerts or these big public events after the Las Vegas shooting, you know,

I mean the Las Vegas shooting. I've had people that were actually there that were impacted by it, um, but I was really really apprehensive about going to any kind of large event, whether it's for sports or for music. And I love going to Staples obviously for you know, Kings and Lakers and Clippers or whatever, and Hollywood Bowls right next to us too for music events and concerts.

But yeah, I mean I can't imagine that. I mean, it's fortunate though, if you wanted to ben there's some great deals online if you want to buy flights, and most of the major airlines if you book like for for example, like Jet Blue and a couple of their airlines. If you purchase a ticket right now, I think they'll give you a refund or a credit with any costs

if you buy anything from now until timber five. So you know, if you have any thoughts that this could turn or it could actually correct itself and there's deals to be had. Yeah, it depends on your level of daredevil this right, if I guess if you got a antibody, yeah, well that or if you have like a good mask, you know, I imagine that's the other thing when we start flying again, when people start flying, isn't everyone gonna be wearing masks and gloves and all that when they fly? Now?

Is that going to become the new normal for a while when people start flying again? I think so? Like, do you do you in the misses wear masks when you guys knocked the boots in the bed? Um? That's kind of a personal question. I'm sorry, it's a personal podcast. I think my wife actually wants me to wear a mask. You would prefer that I wear a mask? So yeah, Like Freddy Krueger, this now, this is this is something

that I've noticed in my life. A new survey shows that many Americans have reacted to the current events in the world today, the uncertainty brought on by the current pandemic, by buying blank or thinking about buying blank. What do you think guest gun, A gun that is correct. I when I walk around my neighborhood, and I guess I live in an interesting part of town because there's a several gun stores that are kind of around here, and uh, and there's been lines every day and a hand to

God every day since this started. I have seen a line of three or four, mostly men, but occasionally women in line outside the gun shop. And um, I don't I mean you. I'm assuming you you have a gear, you're from a police family, guest gun, so you're armed and ready and all that. I I don't know what. I've always kind of been against it, but I I'm not anti gun, but I don't know if I feel like there's more risk and harming someone from misuse of

the gun than actually defending yourself. But it's an option people. A lot of people are doing it these days. Yeah, there's a there's a gun store next to where we'd go for Tito's Tacos that had a bunch of publicity on them because they actually had to close down temporarily because of the l a counter sheriff order saying that they weren't allowed to sell weapons. And then that was

quickly reversed within a twenty four hour period. But yeah, I'm I mean, I'm all four protecting yourself, especially in this day and age. And if a quarantine goes on any longer. I mean we're in the month of April right now, but it could bleed into May or June. And if people do, people aren't working and people are shure on things. I mean, we lived through the l A Riots, and you know, it was mad chaos in the mid nineties, and store owners had to protect themselves.

Homeowners need to protect themselves. And I'm all for self defense, especially the time that we're living in right now. And like you said, I've seen men and women alike trying to turn buy arms. So they're the gun business is booming right now, all right, A couple of quick one to her. Uh, more men than women are distracted by this while driving. What distracts more men than women while driving? Uh? Normally I'd say racks, but i'd say cell phone, cell phone? Uh, no, billboards, billboards.

Apparently the dudes pay more attention to the billboards than

the ladies. So there's always that one billboard in downtown Los Angeles with that orchestra, And so I don't know if you remember this, but when you're driving the one Tin Freeway towards Dodger Stadium, UM, there's the orchestra on the on the east side of the one Tin Freeway, and it's like five or six musicians that are looking at you, and as you drive, they're still looking at you, and as you drive past them, they're still looking at you.

So I've always been distracted by that billboard. That's the one that does it for you. You know, if you're distracted, why billboards? You should go to Santa Barbara. There's no billboards in Santa Barbara. It's against the city ordinance. They are not allowed to have billboards. I love Santa Barbara. I've not been there in a long time. I can't go there now either, But Santa Barbara is a wonderful place, right, beautiful Santa Barbara. They had two great places to eat,

Woodstock Pizza and free Birds, which was Mexican food. It was it was actually a really good version of what Chipotle is supposed to be. But those two spots with the hotspots, when I go to Santa Barbara, alright, last one I've got here in this hodgepodge of study, this. They say, the average person has thirteen of these what are they? Gas thirteen? How about thirteen pairs of shoes? Uh no, that's a lot of shoes for people. That The answer, gascon is secrets. Each person has an average

of thirteen secrets? Can they are keeping from the rest of us? Can you tell me? Can you tell me a secret? Or two? Um? No, no, because then they wouldn't be secrets. Well, it's not how it works. If I tell you the secret, it's no longer a secret. But we can we can skew that average down a little bit. You tell me a secret, I'll tell you off air. Yeah, okay, I'll take you off here too. How about that? All right, that is it. We'll put

the baby to bed. Listen, be safe, stay healthy, Thank you, tell your friends about the podcast, keep those downloads coming and all that. Right, guests, we use one minute, right, one minute? That's it? So okay? So your Instagram account is what it's Ben Maller on Fox, Ben Maller on Fox. I'm on Facebook Ben Maller Show, and I'm on Twitter. Just my name Ben Maller M A L L E. Or if you don't know how to spell that, that's

a bad job by you. Yeah. I'm on Twitter at David J. Gascon and then on Instagram at Dave Gascon. And that's J just the letter J, not J A Y. Right, but my my full middle name is j Y. Yes, but really yeah, but that's like Homer J. Simpson, Yeah, kind of. My My dad's middle name is is Javier, after my grandfather, so my mom didn't want me to carry that same. My mom didn't want me to be a junior, so she liked to have my middle name is j Y. Which is it? Flies fun fact about

David guests a secret in a trivia question. It's a secret. It's a family secret. I know it's amazing. Alright, listen, have a great weekend what's left of it, and we'll catch you next time.