Three Times the Fun

a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the everywhere We are back at it again. Welcome into the magic podcast machine. The hot microphone is on right of slaving away over that hot microphone here

at the podcast duty. Oh, the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller, as you know because you're listening right now, heard every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It is a standalone podcast be the I Heart Podcast Network and available wherever you get your podcast. And so we thank you for fighting the program. Tell a friend, Tell a friend, Tell a friend, and we are joined again by west of the four oh five. David Gascon is here. What's up? What's up? Ben? No crowd noise today? Taking a day off. I guess they're

hanging out doing something else. She's been a busy couple of days for the crowd. Yeah, some of them here, some of them in Iowa, you know, supporting uh White Sox and Yankees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So So here's the here's the deal. So you had Bruce Feldman, we had him on yesterday, a great, great conversation, and you suwly did at the end. You wounded it at the end with blatant slobbering all over your hero, calling coward in his restaurant a good host? Multis that is owner? That's payola?

I believe it's what that is. I think you violated the payola laws of podcast and it's embarrassing. How do you sleep? How do you sleep with that? With multiple pillows? Four pillows one on my neck, one on my head, and then a couple around the arms. Sleep? Well, it's like, well, don't you know what? You know what they say about people who have a lot of pillows? You know what do they say? Well? I can't say it here because it's a family family pie. Oh Jesus, now you get

g rated, get out of here. I'm a family man. We're just talking two weeks ago about our favorite cuss words. See you next Tuesday was number one R lists. Yeah, yeah, that's that's the well, that's the big one. Hold on stick here's yeah. Yeah, alright, So anyway, what were you doing? You're like going to your well, No, I was, you know, you just trying to take care of something here, So I was. I am happy to report that Idea did

modify our podcast from last week. I had quite a few listeners that semi emails and said, what the fund is that dead rooster in the background doing And they had no idea. It was Bella, So it was yeah, I changed that stuff around. And know you had a din that was in some pain, some big pain, major pain, kayote pain. Yeah. Yeah, And Bella has never done that before.

And obviously since she was very odd, like the day that we talked about her being attacked by a code county, it was the day that she stood outside the studio here barking. It's very very bizarre, very bizarre. I don't I don't quite understand why she did that. But but she did and we survived. There was I guess it was perfect for that podcast. It wouldn't really work if we had a guest on hanging out with us and then there's a dog barking in the background. So now

I have gotten a lot of pot cast complaints. Do you want do you want to hear the podcast complaint? The part, Sure, let's hear some complaints, all right. The complaint I've got a lot is in the description for the podcast. When McBain was in here, uh, he would put like the name of the guests and who was on that week on the podcast. People are saying that you don't do that and so never do that. But they one of the people that wrote in was like,

well that's that's a mistake because people search. He says, I searched through podcast based on the guest and if I see a good name, I will then download the podcast. No, no, that was his His argument is that that you know, if you have a big name, you want to promote it and not you know, not make people have to

search for His argument. My counter argument is that you're searching for the hosts and so whatever content they bring to the podcast and to the show is is is good filler, you know, whether it's their own content, it's a guest, it's a feature, it's an element, whatever it may be. That is all like the sides, like this is the filet, We're the beef, and then everything else is the sweet potatoes, the onions, the asparagus, all those sides they make the work. Now I am going to

I'm actually disagree with that. I'll tell you why. All Right, the most successful podcast I think we can agree on this is the Joe Rogan Experience. Yeah. Yeah, when you go to the Joe Rogan Experience, the name of the guest is on every one of those podcasts. So and there's some people that like random martial arts people that no one knows who they are, Um, you know, a red belt in jiu jitsu or somewhere like that. We'll be on there. So if Roguing does it and he's

the star of the show, we should do it. I think we should. We should model it after that. We think we should the name in the in the headline, I do, I do. I just I think for for stragglers because the way I look at I think the people that are fans of of like the overnight show and what we what we do. They're gonna listen anything anyway, So you're trying to get people that wouldn't normally listen.

There's there's always those people. And I agree with this guy the email because you you look to me, I'm the same way, like I like certain people, you know, entertainers or whatever. And if I'll search, I'll be driving. I got a long drive. I'll be like, all right, if I can find a podcast with this person, so I'll type their name in and if it doesn't pop up, like I'm not you know, I'm not gonna gonna go out on my way to to listen. You know, you

know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, that's that's my belief. But that was one of the one of the complain I guess I guess McBain just put the I didn't even look, but I guess you put the names of the people in there. But anyway, so on really a complaint, that's just more of a critique. All right, you know, consider it complaint. You know, it's all yeah, you you did not I have a complaint. Yeah, I um, I did not get a phone call from you on Thursday, um,

Thursday I was celebrating a special anniversary. No phone call from you and no congratulations. Yeah, a little disappointed. But you know, you missed my birthday in July, and now you you missed my anniversary in August. It's uh, well that's not that's not actually true. I did wish you a happy birthday. You were not available on your birthday, but I did wish you a happy birthday. I remember that. I said you a very nice In fact, I even sent you a text before anybody else. It was like

after midnight and I sent you a happy birthday. I did, what were you doing up? I couldn't sleep and saw me. Yeah, I couldn't sleep. I I celebrated a one year anniversary. I So during the pandemic, I I was doing a lot of reading and I read this book called Never Split the Difference, which is written by a FBI hostage negotiator named Chris Foss. And so it's a great book. It talks about a lot of anecdotal stuff. When he was a beat cop, how he got into the FBI,

and how he became the lead hostage negotiator. Well, the way that he did that was he actually joined he was advised to join a local distress and crisis center to become a suicide crisis counselor. I thought that ship was fascinating, and then obviously he's like the top dog for the FBI and dealing with these terrorists from around the world and hostages and negotiations and a stuff. So I actually read the entire book, was thrilled to read it, and then a month later I started volunteering in Los

Angeles for the National Suicide Prevention Center crisis line. And then your wife last year also bought me a book for my birthday called Talking to Strangers, which was fucking awesome and it was a perfect compliment. So on Thursday, I celebrated my one year anniversary August the twelve of of working there. So it was a question, how the funk am I supposed to know when you started working there? Seriously, you could ask, like, how would I? I don't know. You don't send me a list of key dates. It

sound like the you know, the the NFL. The NFL sends me email key dates, the draft, the owners meetings. I don't have. I don't have a list of key dates in David Gascon's life. I don't have that should I do that, Should just make up fake like pr events in the in the year for Ben Mallory. Should I do that? Should just yeah, yeah, yeah, well you you know, that would not be the worst possible scenario.

That would not be the worst possible scenario. Key dates of the mallon That Does that mean I'd have to include attempted request to attend an l A Ram's game, attempted request to go to Seahawks, like you have to put those in there, like yeah, well, and remember that I was injured because the Rams did not allow me to go to the game against Jamis Winston. I turnovers. Yeah.

I stayed home and I made pizza and I was so excited to eat the pizza watching football, I burned my mouth and and then I did an entire week of Network radio on four plus radio stations, sounding like lou holes. I had a lisp the entire week. How embarrassing. Oh my god, my tongue was throbbing. It was horrible. It was absolutely that guy. I got Chris Voss though. I My wife had me. She's a big fan of his,

and she had me. Yeah, she had me. Watched the master class and very very interesting how to communicate and the the simple premise that humans want to be accepted and understood, and that's really was all about. And and just being an active listener is the simplest way you can you can be part of that. So and the late night F M d J boys, he's got yeah, he's got smooth calming pipes. So I could see how

people dropped their guard with him. It's uh, yeah, it's interesting, like teaching me about mirroring, teaching you about making your first impression last, like literally last in the conversation. Those are those are some interesting things. I mean I did sales when I was in my twenties and going to college and playing ball, and so I I used that and then obviously what we do here on the phones.

And yeah, it's pretty interesting. Man. You go through a lot of people that are just in different points in the life, but all have that that crisis, and some are are magnified during the you know, the last couple of years, and others are just you know, relationship things. But yeah, you gotta take everything seriously because you just never know what's gonna uh, what's gonna happen after get off the phone with him? Yeah, no, no, no, for sure.

For sure. Um, so there you go, Chris. I've not read his book, but I did see the The Master Class. Have you taken any other ones besides that one, I've I've looked at a few of them. I haven't my I don't think we have this. I don't know if we have the subscription anymore. It's actually really good stuff. They did a give them crap. I mean, it's not that expensive and if you have the time, you can learn some really cool things pretty quick, pretty quick. Yeah.

I mean, Gordon Ramsey does a lot of his cooking stuff on there, doesn't he. Uh Yeah, There's a bunch of different chefs on there. There's magicians teaching you how to do I think Penn and Teller did some stuff trying to do magic and just random random things. It's pretty it's pretty cool. So anyway, on this podcast, we have done in by a piece of paper gas tastic, and then we have time we'll have some pop quiz so we'll see how this this goes. But we started

with done in by a piece of paper. So last weekend I was running some errands and I made my weekly pilgrimage to the Holy Land Costco to buy a few things and I purchased I remember I personal water. I had to buy some half and half and some other random assorted crap. Uh. And and then I went, like most people do you buy the stuff? You went to the went to the checkout stand. Now that's all pretty standard operating procedures. So so I went to the

self checkoutline, which is relatively new with the Costco. I'm at this is like the last like six months they've added this thing, which I fully support the self checkoutline. The only problem is Costco has got a lot of big, bulky items, so you have to wait for somebody to come over. The one time I tried to put the big case of water on the the checkout thing and it didn't work because I dropped the water. It fell everywhere.

It was a big, big ship show. Uh. But anyway, so I did the self checkout thing that was wide open, paid for my stuff, and then I made a bee line to the Costco food court. And I'm a traditionalist

when it comes to the food coat. So so I purchased the what I all, the timeless Costco meal, which is a slice of pizza hot dog, uh, slice of pizza hot dog and then I decided I was gonna crank things up a couple of notches, and I waited until I finished my hot dog slice of pizza, and then I went back to the counter and I got the Very Sunday, which I love. Delicious, right delicious. The whole meal is like seven bucks, I think. Now they raised the price, and some of that stuff, the hot

dogs at the same price. Everything else they raised the price, so I was like seven eight bucks whatever fund So I'm I'm wrapping up a very nice meal on a Saturday afternoon. I then head for the exit. So remember I have the water, the half and half, some other random stuff. And as I'm waiting online, when you when you leave Costco, you have to have your receipt, like they mark your receipt when you leave out the front

of Costco. So as I get closer and closer, I put my right hand in to my what you know, my my pocket to get out the receipt. And so I pull out the receipt and it was the receipt for the Very Sunday that I just purchased, which I don't really I don't need to use that. So then I reached back in my pocket thinking well, I gotta get the other receipt. And this is where something went terribly wrong. This is where something went terribly wrong. So I had somehow in my haste, I had thrown away

the receipt that I needed to exit Costco. I just accidentally thrown it away. And uh, I didn't even realized I was doing it when I was thrown away some of the other trash. And so when I reached in the shorts to grab the receipt, there was nowhere. It was nowhere to be seen. So I had accidentally tossed it in the trash game. So I went back. My first move was like, oh crap, I gotta get out

of here. So I went back, and I, I do admit, I opened up the trash where I had thrown stuff away, and I thought, well, just reach in there and you know, get get it out and all that stuff. And so I did that, and then well, unfortunately there was so much new food on top I could not find the piece of paper. When I felt I felt really pathetic dumpster diving at Costco or trash diving at Costco. So then I made the walk of shame. I was left

no option. Made the walk of shame back to the self service teller area, and a nice woman that works at Costco felt pity on me, and apparently this is not this is not un normal, like this happens quite a bit, and I'm not in the minority on this, and so they knew exactly what to do. She directed me to the back room at Costco, the famous back room where all the bookkeeping is done. And I went back there and I handed them my Costco card and bamp. Within five minutes, I had a copy of my receipt

and I was able to exit stage right. It's pretty remarkable all in all. How much time do you think you spent in there doing all that? Well, it was the actual once I went and asked for help, It didn't take that long, but I spent a lot of time retracing my steps, thinking maybe it had fallen out of my pocket where I was sitting. Then I was like, well, I must have thrown it away when I threw away the hot dog rapper and the mustard container and all that, and so I like, I was retracing my steps, but

I don't know. It was maybe like fifteen minutes or something. It wasn't that long, but it was just embarrassing, you know, like, you know, I'm a grown ass man and I've done this song and dance a million times and I have to go back and asked for another receipt. I felt like such a such a mama, Luke, what what am I doing here? But a lot of things happened to you at Costco. It's just adds to it. Yeah, Well,

I spent a lot of time there. I spent a lot of time at Costco, and I had another cost I have three Costco related stories that my grandfather would say, I'm such a hawser that I deserved this, which is a Yiddish for for pig. So that I had some time because I I had to come down to the house I'm moving to and I had to wait. My wife wanted me to wait for a delivery. She was very concerned the delivery would not be made unless I

was there. But this wasn't like eight thirty in the morning on a Saturday, and I usually go to bed at like seven or seven thirty, So this was like completely flipping my schedule around. But she wanted me to do it. She was working, so I did it. So I went down there and I get there right at the window for delivery was between eight thirty and like I think it was like eight thirty and like one or something like that. But as soon as I get there,

the trucks pulling up to make the delivery. But I had scheduled a lunch for like one o'clock in the afternoon with a buddy of mine, So I then had a bunch of time to kill because I didn't expect them to show up that early. I thought I was just gonna be there waiting, and then once they show up, then i'd have a little bit of time because i'd be I was on watch, and so I don't a lot. So I made there's like three costcos around that house

where I'm moving to. I don't know if I should admit this, but I decided, you know what, let me do a costco sample. Run all three. All three, I'll run the gauntlet, I'll run the marathon. So I did. But here's the problem. I was in my fasting windows, so I couldn't eat the samples. I had to wait. Because I I fast for at least I tried to at least seventeen eighteen a day. I usually do closer to twenty four a couple of days, a couple of times during the week, I'll do like forty plus hours whatever.

So I had to wait. So but the cool thing now is at COVID. They handed out the samples and they were all in like these little paper bag type things and all that. So so I was like, fine, and I took the samples from the first Costco, put them in the car, put him in the back seat so I wouldn't be tempted to eat him. Once of the second Costco, same thing, had a few better samples at that place, same same deal, put in the back. Now at this Costco they had some that were not

in bags. They were in those like little paper you know, uh, the paper things like but yeah, like the chocolate almond things they'll put it. So I had some of those. All right, fine, I'm doing pretty good. I have. I have killed it on the on the Costco samples. So then I go to the third Costco and and I'm at this one and more of the same, more of the same, and so I'm like, oh man, and the whole the whole back seat behind the driver filled with

Costco samples. But it's again, it's too early in the morning by this time, It's probably like ten thirty in the morning. Whatever, So whatever, I put them all back there and I'm not gonna be tempted eat. So then I go and I had to run a few more errands. I just did some random shopping, and then it was

time for me. I had reached the point where I was going to end my fast, and so I went to eat the samples, and much to my horror, it had gotten very hot between the time that I had put the samples back there in the morning until the afternoon, and there was a big portion of the back seat of the Malamobile that had turned a milky brown color from the milk chocolate that had melted and been infused to the back seat of the car. So yeah, it was that was my my Costco sample run gone bad?

Did you happen to take a picture? Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The Mallard Show week days at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. I did not it did look very similar to the bathroom when I had my famous gold bladder when I was whil walking and I couldn't make the bathroom, and why actually that's not actually true. I did make into the bathroom. I

just misfired. The torpedo did not strike the bull's eye. The torpedo, it's the submarine went the other direction, so it did not go where it was supposed to go. Unfortunately. How long did it take you to clean out the back seat? Well, I immediately had a few napkins, so I tried to rub as much of it off as I could I could. I was standing there. People must have thought I was a loony tunes because I went

in there. I took a bunch of napkins. They were all crusted in milk chocolate, like it's warm milk chocolate. And then then I poured water because I had some water, I poured water over it, took some more napkins. I actually did a pretty good job on that alone, um, because it was still warm and it hadn't dried or anything like that. But there's still remnants of it even to today. I gotta get my car like professionally detailed detailed. Yeah, and that'll that'll take care of it. I mean, it

figures chocolate. It'll come out at some point, right, you figure that'll be the case. I think, yeah, it should, it will. But yeah, yeah, that's it. Well, that's that's a lesson. See I was hoarding Costco samples and I didn't need them right away, and that's what happened. Any chance in the future I could just, you know, borrowing of your Costco cards for some cheaper gas. Oh you don't have a Costco membership, do not know? Well, speaking

of that, Oh, I I'm glad you brought that up. Well, no, I don't have chea, but I have a gastastic story. Al alright, so I know this is all all Costco all the time. You give me twenty minutes, I'll give you nothing but Costco. So I was getting gas at Costco, same week, same weekend, I had the sample run, same weekend. I hey, I forgot my I lost my receipt. So I'm getting gas at Costco. I do this at least once a week, probably twice a week. I get my

wife gas and I get myself get so. Uh Now, typically I try try to go to Costco in the morning, little little hack for your life hack. But weekend morning, right, No, no, i'll go. I'll go during the week I'll go because if you go, the gas station near me opens at five thirty in the morning. So if you go right when it opens, boom, right to the right, you know, there's no waiting online. You beat you beat the rush.

There's usually a few guys that are tradesmen that drive like pickup trucks, that are plumbers or carpenters, and they've got there there, but there's no there's not a long wait. And so every once in a while I'll go regular hours and last weekend was one of those days, and it was a long winding road waiting online, and I when I finally got to the front of the line and I got to the point of pumping the gas, the guy that works at Costco Gas was there. And

so now I'm a bit of an introvert um. I don't normally start conversations with random strangers, but for some reason I was curious. Curiosity killed the cats. So I was like, this guy's here, He's the guy that would have the answer. And I was looking at this long line. And every time I have gone by Costco for the last like three or four months, there has been a long line going out to the street for people buying gas. So the guy is working doing his thing. He's kind

of observing. So I I say, hey, I got a question for it. Very nice gentleman wearing the Costco gas hat, the whole thing, it was just a Costco hat, but he was a greenly guessing. Uh So, Being the curious cat that I am, I asked the guys, how many cars do you get a day? On average? Every time I drive by here, there is an insane amount of cars where, you know, and it doesn't matter whether it's here any of the random Costco gas stations I've been to, and you know certainly where I am now, near the

halfway house of the Mallard mansion. And his answer blew me away. How many cars do you think a single Costco out in Suburbia gets per day? I'm gonna say twelve. That's a lot of cars, right, That's a ton of cars. According to his number, he said, the the average per day number of cars that goes through the Costco gas station three thousand, eight hundred per day, Holy shit, per day? And uh the the he told me how much gas they go through per day? This is This also blew

me away. Again. This is just a single gas station at Costco, not two or three, just one single gas stations. Yeah, I'm gonna say ten thousand gallons, not even close. How about forty to forty five thousand gallons a day of gas? So I did I did some Mallard math on this. If the guy is correct, and he had no reason to lie to me, he didn't know who I was. I didn't know who he was. He was just you

know whatever. That means based on a traditional three fifty five day calendar, right, Based on that, then the math on this, so thirty eight hundred cars per day times each day of the year. But but I did three fifty five actually because they're they're closed like ten days, So I didn't do the three sixty. I did three. So that's the math. That's why I did the math

on that. So it's one million, three hundred and fifty roughly three fifty thousand cars per year based on that, again discounting the days we they're not open, the holiday, the random holidays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, the fourth of July, New Year's you know, if other so um, and then that also the math on that equals of fourteen over fourteen million gallons of gas per year for one single costco, just random costco. That is that just blew me away. Well,

here's the other thing that will be fascinating with your story. Now. I am looking I said this tongue in cheek. I am looking forward to what happens here in the near future when we as Americans start getting taxed to drive. I don't think that's gonna happen. I don't, I do, I don't. They'll just they'll just add another gas tax, they'll add more to the games. You trust our government.

I don't trust the government. But that would upset a hell of a lot of people, everybody that would be bipartisan anger, I would think, because for most people, you don't have any other way to go around other than driving. You know, It's not like if you're in Manhattan, you can take public transportation, maybe you get shanked, maybe you won't.

But wait with Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston, New or or d C. You get around via but not even not even d C. Like a lot of the political class live outside the Beltway and you drive in from Maryland or Virginia, So you'd be affecting all of those people. Yeah, but they usually have like government paid for accounts, probably right, Like you're gonna have some kind of fringe benefits with those those government positions. Yeah, I don't. I'm gonna be Benny

brightside of this one. I do not think they're going to charge per mile. We're idiots. The Californians voted for a tax a couple of years ago. Don't you remember that now? Well, Californians are idiots. Um, And I feel bad for our friends in Texas and in Tennessee because the Californian voter is moving to your state and they're going to bring the same disease to your state. It's going to happen any proposition that raises taxes. I vote no on and my neighbors, my brothers, sisters that live

around me all vote yes on them. And the way they sell them, you know, it's the old boiling frog. It's just well it's a temporary increase, it'll it'll it's for the children. It's for the children, or it's for some you know, it's some pulling the heartstrings group. And then people always invite in California and particularly always vote yes on them. These things never go away. Once they raise the tax, it never goes away. You know, it's

no need to You've already fleeced the public. Yeah, so a national gas to accent, No, Well, the Republicans wouldn't vote for it. All you needs a few Democrats not to vote for it, and we had we had nineteen Senators that voted for it though with the Infrastructure Bill, because they approved a case testing of such. So you know, Buddha Jedge has this commission right now for the Department

of Transportation. He's looking into that and obviously it's a way to push electric vehicles in and move gas powered automotive vehicles out. But but even that nineteen is less than of the senators representing the fifty states. So that's you would need more, you'd need another It has to be that have to be. Like. But the thing is, though, is that you had all the Democrats jump on board and then nineteen Republican senators and you know, and they

got it passed by the House of Representatives. So this thing's done and done man like they're I mean, not the tax yet, but it's like the commission to explore the opportunity of of tax in the public on this So I mean, I I believe it will not end up happening. I think there'll be too much fallout for that, because you're really going to be hurting the poor people more than the rich people they don't afford it. Well, I thought, I thought the Democrats their whole talking point

was we're looking out for the little guys. They sell it as every time, right that there, But then you have like the the other Republicans in the same way, like, well, we're defending the middle class, and it's like, well, bullshit, you are. I think it would be attacks on the poor people who can't afford it and have to drive

and they can't afford fuel the fishing cars. Well, you know, and that's the kicker then, because if they can't afford it, then guess what you're doing negative rely on the government to help you out, and that's exactly what they want. Like it is a I don't think. I don't think it's gonna happen're a negative person. I don't think it's gonna happen. But I'm positive. I just see it more

and more now with where we're going. How like the split in the three tier society that we live in, upper class, middle and lower is just the middle class is getting wiped out. That's exactly what's happening. And so you're either relying on the government or you're you're making it on your own. You're actually making some good coin. Yeah, all right, we have a little time for pop quiz. Will do a few of these real quick. Here we go, pop quiz. We'll see what we can get to. On average,

moms spend fifty five minutes a week doing this. What is it? My mom used to do this, but then she finally gave up. Uh, making their kids eat the rest of their dinner, ironing their kids clothes. It's throwing the dryer man. Yeah, my mom remember her with the ironing board out when I was little, and she occasionally would burn herself with the iron, and she was always freaking out because those kids, you know, were bouncing all over the place. We were gonna get hurt with the iron.

She always give us like the ten minutes speech about how this will kill you and burn you, and then she eventually just gave up and said it doesn't matter. Uh. And I agree with her giving up on that. I don't even own an ironing we don't have an ironing board. Or an iron here. What we there's there's actually something that you guys have recently got that I need to to bring up to so you let me know anything. I don't know what we've we've we've gotten alight anyway.

It's hard to believe, but over half of us say we never do this during the summer. What is it? Go to the beach? Uh No, Well, there's a lot of people that don't live near a beach. Go in the water, no where, sunscreen, I don't do that. I got a bad happen. I'm not doing that well, like even like face lotion, you know, because you're like, he gets dry and yeah, yeah, I have to wear suns. I hate when I don't mean I don't mind necessarily being burned in the middle part of my arms or

my legs. But the thing that I hate is the joints my knee and my elbow. I've had some really bad sunburns on my elbow, like inside and of my elbow. You know, every time you move your arm, it freaking hurts. It sucks, man, So I always make sure to cover that. In the back of my neck. Yeah, I don't necessarily cover all of me and suntan lotion. So I guess I could get a really awkward sunburn based on that. Your pasting white too, so I don't know what you're

talking about. I am a beautiful shade of whiteness that has It's a part of being nocturnal. Man, you don't don't get the sun all right. Anyway, Thirty five percent of people in a new survey said they do this at work to try to get a promotion. They look, they look at competing companies online. Uh no, they work overtime. I did that when I first started at Fox Sports Rating. For the first nine years of Fox Sports Radio, I worked every holiday, every shift. Any time they called me,

I worked. Now, I did that because I was wanting I wanted to get promoted, but I also thought that would be great job security. And then on January of twenty nine, I got whacked and I said, Okay, it doesn't matter that I worked every holiday, and it doesn't matter that I worked every time they called me. Even if I had an event with my family or my friends, I canceled it to work. So I still work a lot of holidays, but if I have plans, I don't.

I don't worry about that. Yeah, yeah, because they can get ready, I learned in corporate America, we are just a number on a on a piece of paper. Yeah, that's it. That's all you are. And you know, you'd like to think you're more important than that, but no, you know, really, at the end, if if you're salary gets too high, or they can find somebody cheaper, or they need to save a couple of bucks, you're gone. That's just how it works. That and cronyism, well that

also does. All right. A new survey finds of global organizations expect this. I expect to experience this in the next year. Automation, Uh no, a breach of customer records, Russian hacking, Russians or North Koreans. Maybe the FBI. I mean they'll just FBI just tap into your phone, all right, eight calm down, Tinfoil hat Man's Apple admitted to it. Yeah. Eight six percent of parents surveyed said they have at least one of these in the in the family. I

think it's higher than eight six. Um A criminal, A criminal, I don't know. Uh, picky eater, picky eater. Yeah, I'm not gonna I was a picky eater where you Yeah, I was that was all right, we have another study. I'll do a couple of studies real quick. We'll get out of here, all right. So, escort services, strip clubs, according to a new study, they actually helped reduce sex crimes.

I believe that. Yeah, I do too. Now, there was this counter argument that you can't you know, strip clubs are terrible for the community, and then you know the escorts and all that stuff. But according to a study out of Princeton, New Jersey. Uh, they claimed that strip clubs and professional women of the night, floozies or whatever you wanna call, uh, that there's a significant drop in

sex crimes. According to the study, researchers say that they have shown that opening adult entertainment venues like strip clubs, escort services, adult bookshops, and adult theaters even actually caused a decrease in the number of sex related crimes that were committed nearby. They found the presence of the adult entertainment led to a thirteen pcent reduction in sex crimes

in the area one week after the opening. And uh, there was a bunch of other stuff here in the study, But that makes sense, right, There's a lot of people need to how do we how do we say release gascon right? So you know, if they can't, you know, find somebody else to spend time with, and they gotta go somewhere and get a professional. Yeah, it's like the instant crack pipe. They just they want the hit and that's it. So what's interesting? That is intriguing? Intriguing? H

let's see here? What else do we have? We do one more? What's a good one? Here? And see page down, page down? Oh oh, this one's I thought this was very interesting from earlier this week that billboards in space. Did you see this one? I heard a little something of it. Yeah, yeah, space X, the Tesla folks, space X and a Canadian startup group are going to turn space into a billboard. Yeah. I'm so happy. I I'm so happy I dipped into Tesla stock. I'm really happy

about that. Elon Musk taking advertising to space on a small satellite aboard the Falcon nine rocket and uh now it's not gonna feature the classic advertising billboard that we see around town. The ads will run on a pick excellated digital screen on a satellite called Cube Sat. Okay, this is out of Calgary, Calgary, and then they go through all the details on how this is gonna work here,

it's pretty dope. Yeah, what do they do? Like Santa Barbara one of my favorite places to visit, Santa Barbara, they have no billboards. They're not you're not allowed to have billboards in Santa Barbara proper? Are they gonna? Are they gonna cover the sky so you can't see the heavens the cosmos out there because of this? Man? Can you imagine you're driving? I guess they can. They can really only do this at night, right, I would think right for to have the full proper effect, I guess

you could. How would you how would it work during the day? Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. Uh, well, there's a will, there's a way. I mean, I guess you can darken the lights, right Yeah. Man, that's that's pretty out there though. Literally speaking, it says since pixels are too small to be seen from Earth or space, the a selfie stick on the cube SAP will capture the image. Oh so they're gonna like live streaming on

YouTube or maybe like Discovery or NASA channel. Yeah. I have to read more about this, but that's uh, that's what we do. One thing we need is more advertising. We're in the advertising business. More programming, right, more programming of the mind. Yeah, all right, well that will do it. For the Saturday program, Get the mail bag. We'll go deep inside the mailbag. Letters, we get letters. We gotta find that song, you know, the old letter song from the Letterman Show. We gotta get a copy of that.

Play that for the Big open Ken. We had a giant email sent to us last year about playing even a second because on radio terrestrial readio can play up the seven seconds I believe, but you know it's more than seven's actually can play it like what depends on how much you pay to ask cap but it's like a minute or something like for talk radio forty seconds to admitute something like that. Well, on the podcast, you

can't even play a second. You get tagged. I guess someone had done that, not with Fox, but with the with one of our FM affiliates, and they got slapped with the hefty hefty fine. Ah, okay, that good. Well we can play the Mallard original tunes. Were allowed to play that because those are listeners sent in and they gave us their blessing to play the songs. So if we have a listener. One of our very talented musicians in the Mallem Militia that writes a little letter song.

We get letters letters, you know, change do whatever we want to be creative. We can play that every Sunday on the podcast. I mean, if Jay Scoop does it, I'm good. But if it's anybody else, fuck them. What are you talking about? We have a main braz Quit. The band is great. Uh. The guy in Ohio that that he was wonderful. The guy in made with the blues song the Richmond Virginia did a battle him of the Mallew Militia wonderful. I'm usually asleep during that ship show,

but Jay Scoop I'll stay up for Wow. You really sucking up to Jay Scoop. I don't know why he would be doing that. Listen. Maybe he's buying me a first class ticket up to Seattle. You never know. Man, it's good for mal it's good for me. Right, Well, if you were good at your job, maybe he will. That's all about anyway. Listen, have a great rest of your Saturday and we will catch you on Sunday. Aloha