The Renovation Blues

Back at it eight days a week. Happy Saturday. Saturday's Saturday, because four hours a night are not enough. Another weekend of podcasting continuing. I hope you had a chance to catch our conversation with the great Ted Sobel, a man who got to work with my radio idol, the great Jim Healey back in the day. And I've known Ted for a long time, and so he told some amazing tale. All of that is available in his book, Touching Greatness. And I love the fact that Ted's doing this kind

of row. He's had a small publisher, he's not one of the big publishing houses, so I want to see him do well. Obviously I'm biased. I like the guy, but it's a good book. And I don't read a lot of books, but I have read. I'm not all the way through the book yet, but I love the fun facts and that did you know? And all that that's in that book touching greatness. But that's not what this is about. This is about the Saturday Blues, or in my case, the Reynold Blues. We'll get to that.

We have pop quiz also, let's get scientifical. Let's get scientifical. We try to determine whether stuff is real or bullshit. A tribute to the old pen and Teller show Bullshit from back in the day. And this week we are joined yet again. I think this is the third week in a row, if I'm right. A man who's affectionally known when he was the wrestlers, Ryan McBain Ryan Smith is here Fox Sports Radio Zone. Hello Ryan, Hello kinds. How are you? Mr mc bean? Number one fan, part

of the Marching and Chatter Society for Boston. He loves all Boston sports and like the thank you for all the angry messages I got, what did you put this? Thu Sewan? When you know what Boston can kiss my black ass? Is that right? Right in the crack and print it and print it, kiss my ass and print it.

Uh man, Well, listen, let's let's get into it. So the Mallard Mansion two point oh, Mallard Mansion two point a time for a This is just the kind of content I on the pulse of the people who run This is just the kind of content that the p one, the die hard Mallard Militia foot soldier wants to hear my life and things that are going with So anyway, as as many of you know, we talked about this in a previous episode, that I am living in a temporary residence, the Halfway House, which is in a mostly

retirement community. A lot of older folks here that are enjoying their life. Nice, nice clear area. There's a homeowners association which I can't stand. And it's also we've called it the ship House because Bella ships all over the house. My dog Bella has decided that she does not does not need to go outside to go to the bathroom anymore. So it's a it's a big pain in the ass.

It's a big pain in the ass. And so but by the way, anybody knows how we love Bella, but she she's no longer potty trained, and she has dragon breath. I don't know, do you know anything, Ryan, you can give a dog to make their breath smell better? Is there anything you can do to help them and prove their breath? It's a little tough to know. I do believe there's certain types of treats you can give the dog. Yeah, probably try that. Well. I read like you're that you

can brush the teeth the dog. That that's a bridge too far from me. Like, I love dogs. I've had dogs my entire life. I'm a dog person, not a cat person. But I can't imagine brushing the teeth of a dog. Could you? Could you ever see? Have you done that? Ryan? When you when you ever consider doing that? I'd rather just take the dog to the dentist, you know? Yeah? No, no,

I agree, But they said, like they I did. Look, this was a couple of months ago because Bellas had dragon breath for a while, and so I was like, what can I do? And then they were like, well, you're supposed to brush the dog's teeth like every single day. I'm like, You've got to fucking be kidding me. Every day? Yes, every day. The Internet told me that yeah, yeah, the internet. Can't you put something in their water or something like that that would help improve the process or process or there?

There you go, Ryan, this is it. This is how we can get rich. We come up with a liquid like a mouthwash that's safe for dogs that will improve their bad breath. We will make a gazillion dollars from people that love their dogs but don't like the dragon. This is how we can become rich. We need to trademark this. We need to we need to go into the lab. We need to go into Frankenstein's lab and get some kind of magic formula. The secret. You know, the KFC has the eleven herbs and spices and all that.

We can come up with the right mix and dogs will gobble it up and then we'll make a killing. Okay, I have a question. Are you one of these dog owners that actually kisses your own dog? No, but Bella is a lap dog. She's a little ship too, and so Bella is all over the place wherever I am, or mostly my wife. Bella loves the the wife, but she'll follow us around because that's all these lap dogs do.

That's why they calm lap dogs. They're always in your lap, But no, I I don't particularly care for Bella to to lick my face. I do not allow that. That is disgusting. I get annoyed when Bella will even like lick my arm, which is also disgusting because then my arm stinks like like a dragon breath. I don't mind it if I'm about to go in take a shower or something like that, but when she does it after I've just come out of the shower, Holy crap. What a pain in the ask that is? These are first

world problems, right, sounds like it. I just personally think that you're too close to the dog, which is kind of disgusting. No, I'm not too close to the dogs. If you can smell it's breath, I think you are when the dogs always around that. Listen, this is dragon breath, dragon breath. The breath can't be that bad. Okay, you know, I'll invite you over and you can hang out with with the dog, and then make sure the dog gets real close to you and you'll you'll smell what I smell. Okay,

I don't do stuff like that. I'll get too close to dogs mouths. That's disgusting. I know you don't like people. I don't particular I don't particularly care for people either. We're both introverts, which I like. But dogs are different. Dogs can't talk back, dogs can't turn their back on you. I think, I guess they could run away. But the loyal man's best friend the dog come on anyway. So so back to the back to the point I got sidetracked. That's a non sequitor, but it is related. I mean,

it's Bella's ship house. So the renovations are continuing. Now. We had a setback this week in the updated Mallard mansion two point oh. And you're very concerned about my life, but it's it's been a little bit stressful because the flooring we're getting a complete make over here, so the flooring in the new place, which is the old place, which will be the new place, but not the old place I live. This is a different place I used to live. So it's anyways a complicated story. So the

flooring for the new place was delayed. There are major supply line issues with a lot of the home improvement products. A number of these products these days at the big you know lows home deep at these big sort Sorry Dick and dating the diction is not gonna be happy about that, so it's becoming a bit of a headache.

We're on a tight timeline, so I'm hoping now some of the flooring has coming in, So I'm hoping that the great tradesman, the great contractors that we've we've got working on this will be able to make up for lost time and maybe work on a Saturday or something like that, you know, because we're paying him. But we're supposed to be moving from where I'm living in the halfway house to the new humble abode in like three weeks, and we've been delayed by at least a week. I

think it's eight days or something. That Now, my my wife, who's very confident, she's a Pollyanna. She thinks everything's great, everything's wonderful, and she's convinced that the brick and mortar will all be put in, everything will be done, and she's very confident. Not now, I think it'll be like half done if we're lucky, by the time we're supposed to get into the other place. So we'll find out whether I'm right or she's right. Stay tuned. Inquiring minds

would like to know. It must be nice, must be nice. You're you're probably moving into into like some big mansion, aren't you. Well, it's the Mallard Mansion. I've always lived in Mallar Mansion. Even when I lived in an apartment in Hollywood, it was the Mallard Mansion. Yeah, that's it. It was a Mallard mansion. Mr. Money bags over here. Yeah, that one bedroom apartment I had in Hollywood was the

Mallard Mansion. Absolutely. Yeah. All the money you have, oh yeah, let me tell you when the secret if you really want to make it big. A lot of people think you have to be like Colin Cowherd and we're you end up in the real estate pages of the l. A. Times when you buy a house because you're so powerful and no, no, the real money and radio overnights two

am to six am. Ryan, they pay you so much money, so much money that it's it's a mistake that the l. A Times real estate page has not put my real estate transactions in there just between me, you know, you and me. A bad job by them. Of course, when they see my portfolio, they will bust out laughing when they see, wait a minute, you do the over anyway. But listen, I could be worse, right, So you could always be in a worse situation. So I'm very grateful

for what I have. But yeah I am if I did have like real legit, big time radio money, which I've not really tasted, not really tasted that. I made a lot of money briefly when I did TV and I was a shitty TV guy at NBC. But they pay so much money for ship television and just babbling on TV for two minutes or whatever. They pay a ton of money. Radio they don't do that. They don't sweeten the pot quite as much. And in radio unfortunately, as you know Ryan firsthand. Yeah, I shouldn't complain because

uh yeah, yeah, it's uh. They'll give you once they hear these podcasts. Ryan management will say, that's that guy McBain. We'd better pay him more my ass. No, No, that's probably not gonna happen. Just turn the page on that one and say move on. Yeah, all right, I hear. Let's get the pop quiz. What do you say? We got pop quiz? You ready to go on? This is

exciting pop quiz? All right, here we go. These are actual things I found scouring the internet, and I thought they were interesting, so I want to share them with you. The way this should work is I will ask the question. You will then in your head you listing, We'll try to determine the answer, and then after that we will ryanal guests and they'll give the answer. So, according to a new survey, as the Tokyo Olympics get started, here

the makeup the renow Olympics, the Summer Olympics. There, what event do Americans say they are most excited for at the Summer Olympics? Dude? Do do do? Do? Do? Basketball? Dude? Do do do? Do? Do Do do do? Final answer? Basketball? Let it? Uh no, No, that isn't correct the correctness. I thought it was track and field. But it's not swimming. Swimming love the swimming, Okay, I know a lot of women love the gymnastics, right, and my type casting in

my pigeonholing the women they love the gymnastics. I think I'm right on that that's a Summer Olympic thing in it gymnastics, I believe. So yeah. Anyway, so swimming, I've never really cared that much for swimming, although I am impressed with the diving that I'm scared of heights. So those lunatics that jump off the very top thing that that makes me a little nauseous in my stomach when I watched that. But I don't watch too much of

the Olympics. Let's be honest. Here we're meeting potatoes. That's not meeting potatoes. I said that the other day in a monologue. So the average American we'll go through about twenty eight pounds of this in their lifetime. Twenty eight pounds you will consume in your lifetime before you check out and take that dirt nap of this. I'm gonna go with butter doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, rummage around, find the butta uh no, the correct answer.

It's something you do typically when you either wake up or go to bed or possibly both mouth losh close. You're getting closer something in that area. Keep going, keep going. Toothpaste. Yeah, look at you, McBain. That is correct toothpaste. Twenty eight pounds of toothpaste. Of course, unless you're in Britain, and then you'll go through about one pound of cheez Thank you. I'm sorry Terry in England and all the other British listen,

it's low hanging fruit. You gotta take the low hanging fruit. Alright. So, with mask mandates decreasing everywhere but Los Angeles, the only county I believe in the country that has these indoor mask mandates for people that have been fully vaccinated. More on that later, but the with the mask mandates decrease decreasing pretty much going away indoors most places. Mostly other than that A sales of this item have gone up sixty one six increase condoms condoms, h No, not not

the condoms, no h The answer is lipstick. Yeah, no need to have lipstick if you've got a mask, Why would you do that? Because nobody can see your lips? That makes sense, Yeah, I mean that's smart by the women to stop using the lipstick and the men who use lipstick, But I, you know, hey, why not? You don't need to do it. A lot of men that use lipstick, I don't know. But of course I I use chapstick from that's my lipstick. That's that's what I

used there. I'm gonna emphasize that chapstick is my way of door. I did read though these this. I'm so annoyed by this mask mandate thing in l A for the you know, for everybody. The indoor thing that I read online that it's a total overreaction. The number of people fully vaccinated that have met their demise in in

l A since I got vaccinated. I think it's like I think I meant, but in California, like it was six out of ten millions something like that at the time they put this in, Uh the math on that seems that's within the marginal error to me. To me, that seems like it's in the margin area. But anyway, be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Moving on, So,

this is something that many people use every day. It was actually invented in Pennsylvania in the early nineteen eighties, and it's something people probably doing right now. And send it to your friends. They send it to you. The whole thing. What do you think it is? Porn? Porn? Yes, there was never pornography until the early nineties in Pennsylvania. Some guy in Pennsylvania said, let's come up with this porno. We think people will like watching other people stoop. Let's

put that on film and see what happened? Amore? Stop? No, no, Now that you can say stoop is a great word. It's a Yiddish word and you know what you know what it means, right of course it means uh, screwined, That's what it means. Yeah, stupid, It's a great word. Land pipe, that's what I call it. Land pipe is that you're moved there? Yeah, well, there's so many there's

so many ways you can say. See it. Being on the radio here you have had I've had to be creative on coming up with different ways to say things that we could say on the podcast that we can't say in the in the real world. For example, like I know with the Shawn Watson we've had a lot of fun with that because were the anacondah, can't keep the anticontie in the cage, the you know, the fire hose, the what else have we used here? I've used the sausage,

any kind of salami, any of that meat missile. Meat missile is another one. Tally whacker, you can do that. I think that's allowed. I think that's allowed. Yeah, there's a lot of euphanisms for sex to like you could do uh, you know, twig, you know connecting the twigs and the berries. You know that I could do that, or bringing those uh, doing the dirty deed right, doing the Devil's dance, the DIPSI due, that's all you can do that, that's rightly, no pants dance, the no pants dance? Right?

How about this one? Aggressive cuddling? Aggressive cuddling? Does that work? Bumping uglies doing the bump, that's a good one. I like that. Bumping uglies. That's a checking the oil, right, checking, that's good. Uh, completing the jigsaw puzzle right, you're put them together. They're h I mean, there's a bunch of them. So, but I like shooping. I like stooping because you know, my grandfather used to speaking just when I was a kid,

So I I like that anyway. But the the answer to the question what was invented in Pennsylvania in the early eighties? The smiling face a mode emoticon. The emoji was invented in Pennsylvania in the early eighties. About that fun fact, Huh, okay, that's I would never would have gotten that, no, I know, but it is used every day, right, I mean just used every single day. I used the egg plant, but that's just me. I know you're such

a stud. Look at you, You're such a stud. Unbelievable. Now, the the smiley I'm assuming the smiley face existed before the nineteen eighties, right. But the story, well, we don't really have time to get into the the story of the history, the modern history of the the emoji, U, the emoticon. Anyway, moving on, So about fifteen percent of people say they haven't done this since the pandemic began. What do you think it is? M hmmm, do do do? Do? Do? Do? Do?

Do? Do Do? Do? Do do? Gone to gone to the movies, gone to the movies. It's fair fair question. Um no, h weighed themselves? Yeah, yeah, I don't wait, but you weigh yourself. It's supposed to. Good job. They say, you're supposed to weigh whoever they are, Like the doctors said, we're supposed to wear yourself every day to make sure you don't get a weight. No, no, no. In fact, my advice is always the opposite, because I I've been on I'm on a pretty good regiment now because I'm

into this nonsense with the interiminute fasting stuff. But when I would diet and try different diets, and I would try to weigh myself regularly, I get very frustrated and defeated because the weight didn't come off fast enough. So my advice is always to wait a little while between you weigh yourself, like weigh in maybe once every couple of weeks to see some real progress. Otherwise it's it's

just it's defeating. It really is. When you get on the scale and you've been really good about your diet, best laid plans and all that stuff you followed out, and then you look, holy sh it, I gained a pound. What the hell is that about? All you gotta do is this, If your clothes still fit, you're fine. That's right. I agree, although be honest, here we all it meant we wear a lot of loose fitting clothes so you can gain a few pounds. It's what it is within

the margin or of error. That right, You wear sweatpants all the time, things like, you know, loose fitting clothing. Get a few pounds and it's not really gonna show up. I'm not gonna show now jeans. Is that you were like tight fitting clothes like jeans and stuff like that. It becomes problems, all right, what is the food we're doing this is very popular pop quiz What is the food that astronauts say they miss the most when they're in space? Uh? Steak steak? Uh No, The answer is

ice cream. Ice cream. Can't have ice cream and space. It's a great question. Why is that? Would it melt while they get the space? How would that? I don't know? Or would the would it just change I guess it's so condensed and all that. Would it change shape in the in the space space ship, the space station or whatever. Just bring a spring, a freezer, I said, bring some ice. You're good to go. Yeah. I remember when I was a kid, they Space program, Like we were all like

obsessed at the house. My dad loved outer space and had telescopes and all that all that crap, and so remember watching space Shuttle launches and they came out with this this tang that they promoted it by saying, astronauts use it in space. And it was just like a powder you mix. It was like orange juice, but it was a powdered thing. And so we bought some of that and it was just I loved it because it was filled with sugar. It was just like it was

just completely bad for you. It's still around, I'm sure somewhere anyway. A new survey finds that of Americans would prefer to wake up every day feeling well rested rather than get this they think it is. Uh, then get drunk. You're drunk. Uh No, the answer is a promotion at work.

Get the hell out of here. That's bullshit. So mcbann, if management is listening to this, if the suits upstairs in the corner office are listening, and you are willing to sacrifice a good night's rest for a promotion, which I would imagine has to include a nice race, yes, yes, but keep in mind, I don't, I don't. I can't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep to begin with. So that's fine. Now, why is that? Why do you not sleep well? Just don't sleep well? Yeah?

Was there the reasons? Do you eat right before you go to bed sometimes? Yeah, you're not supposed to do that. No, seriously, you're not supposed to eat three hours before you go to bed three hours So you gotta let the food settle in your stomach and all that. Now, seriously, I'm not making that the food can subtle well, I'm sleeping, yeah, okay, And then you don't sleep. Word, that's true. It is settling and you don't sleep well. May I recommend not that.

I know. There's a there's a sleep product that I use. It's at Costco. Maybe i'll you should try that. Yeah, yeah, it really because I'm I'm a light sleeper and I don't I don't know I'm doing the hours I do. I don't sleep well at all. I get terrible schedule. But if I take this, I get some solid sleep. I get it. I'm good. I don't wake up restless and all that. So there's a product. But there's a product that I use from time and time if I can't get any sleep. It's called whiskey. You should it

works really well. Well, that is a fallback off. That's what they did in the Western Frontier back in the day. Yes, that is that is correct. So uh, let's see moving on here we're doing Uh, let's see pop quiz. What is another one? We're gonna we don't have too much time here, Let's see what do we have? A recent survey found more than half of US homeowners are considering this as an alternative to buying a new home buying. Uh, so this is an alternative to buying a new home

should be obvious if you think about it. What do you think if you owned a home but you didn't want to buy another home, what would you do instead of buying another home? What the hell? It's something that I'm doing right now. Oh, just live in a halfway house. No, no, no, renovate like renovate the house, like fix the house you're living in up, which is what you should do if you're in a position where the housing markets out of control right now, which it is. It's insane what's going

on with the housing market. And I don't know that it's ever gonna go down that much. But if you own, if you're able to own a place, get it renovated. It's better to live there number one while you're there, and number two, it increases the value of it, supposedly if you ever decide to sell it, so well a win winner. I'm a renter. I don't own like four homes like you do. I don't own four homes that but I currently don't own any homes to be honest, Yeah,

because they're all getting renovated. No, I don't nothing yet. Please out there, you out there, you and and the reason I say I don't own any homes because the and this is the key thing. When you have a mortgage, the bank actually owns the home. If I stopped paying my mortgage, the bank takes the home. So I don't really own the home. I'm paying a mortgage. It's not like the homes are paid off and all I have to do is pay the property taxes or whatever. But

the bank actually owns the home. I'm just paying the bank, paying the banker. Man. That's the key. Now, are you ever planning to buy a place from McBain or you just have a buddy of mine in Dallas who's around my age. He never bought a home. He lives in an apartment. He's happiest, can be. Anything breaks, he just calls somebody to come fix it, doesn't have to worry about anything. And he's I don't think he's ever going

to buy a house. And he's like my miney, we're getting older now, so maybe one day if I get a raise, all right, well this podcast is going to inspire and all that money you get from Boston, the people in Boston that will send you all that money because you're so popular there, I wouldn't take anything from Boston. Really. So if somebody in Boston said, you know what, I'm going to offer you a gig at w e I or the Sports Hub, I'm gonna pay you three times

what you're making right now. But you gotta live in Boston, and so you would rather Oh, come on, I told you I'd rather live in Hell. No, Listen, there are good places. There are bad places everywhere, and if they pay you enough money, you would live in Siberia. You would move to Afghanistan, the demilitarized Zone, you would go there. So I don't think I have the uh complexion for the connection over there in Boston. Listen there there's what do you think you've been I assume you've we talked

about it's been to Boston. We've been over this at nausea. Yeah, okay, all right, we don't need to react. It's not like there are black people live in Boston. Yeah, and you're living in fear. I don't believe. Yes, I don't believe that. I don't know. I think you're embellishing that. I believe you're embellishing that tremendous. Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show. Weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Hey, I'm Doug Gottlieb. The podcast is

called All Ball. We usually talk all basketball all the time, but it's more about the stories about what made these people love their sport and all the interesting interactions along the way. We talked to coaches, we talked to players, We tell you stories. You download it, you listen to it. I think you like it. Listen to All Ball with Doug Gottlieb on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or ever you get your podcast. Anyway, let's get scientific.

Let's get scientifical. Here, McBain and what do you want to you want to go back here? What do you want do you want to do? I feel like you don't want to move on here? You do not want to move on? Ryan? Is that right? Now? We can do whatever you like? My friends? Alright, that's right, exactly, alright. So I have a few of these. Now, how much TV do you watch? You watch a lot of TV? You miss a few shows that I watched. I watched a lot of stuff on like Disney Plus or Netflix

or HBO stuff. You love the cartoons on Disney Diney, I'm actually a huge Marvel fan. I watch a lot of Marvel movies, like those Princess movies on Disney. You know you don't, it's really my thing. Okay, alright, just checking. No, no, don't know. So. Recent studies says people who spend more than four hours a day watching TV are seventy eight percent more likely to snore seventy percent more like this. So now I have a question. Uh, First of all,

I think this is probably bullshit. Secondly, if it is true, does this count for computer time? Because I I spend eight nine hours a day on my computer or some other electronic device. Isn't it the same concept if you're on your computer? I guess it's more interactive obviously if you're on your computer on social media or reading the news of the day and all that, But you're still looking at something for hours at a time. So shouldn't it have the same effect if you're on your computer,

whether you're watching TV. I say, yes, I think it. Uh, well, it depends on what you're watching on your computer. Well, you watch a lot of porn, so for you, no, no, no no, and you watch it on my phone? Actually, OK, you don't do it on the lot it's on the big, big screen. You don't like the big screen on your computer because because because I don't want any viruses. What what websites are you going to? There's a lot of mainstream porn works. You must be going to those really

dark web places where what kind of weird fetishes? We should get into that in a future podcast. Thank you very very much. Sure about that? I'm pretty sure. Yes, Just just some dress up occasionally here and there and things like that. Nothing abnormal, Okay, don't what is what is your definition of abnormal? I'm not gonna says this disgusting. I want to keep my job. Uh that you ever look at porn at work? You? No? No, no, no, no no,

no no. Fun fact. Now, I will not reveal the name of this person because I might work with this person again at some point. They do not currently work at Fox Sports Radio. But there was a former professional athlete that worked at Fox Sports Radio who I was doing a show following this person. They were filling in on the show before me, and we have normal times. Now I do the show remotely. Now I have a

remote studio or I do the show from. But when I was in in the in the main hub in Sherman Oaks, and I'd go in there after we had a quick turn a. Right, you have four minutes, gotta plug your headphones and gotta clean everything up. Go on, you know, get your stuff in order and all that. Get ready to go, and the here like comes up. So it's a mad scram, right, it's a mad dash to get all this stuff done. So you go in

there and you you know, put your plug. I plug my headphones in, I adjust the microphone to where I wanted, I put my bag down. I get a few notes. I have some some chicken scratch that I have is kind of my talking points for the monologue. So I get all that and and I turned the computer on. You know, I clicked the button because it had gone to this, uh the sleep page where it had gone dark because it was it was down for a few few minutes. And the guy was like watching some hardcore

porn on the computer. And it was like it was like I could not It was like like five different windows. He had saved some of his favorite porno and and I was like, I was so like taking a back. I was like, what did this guy was doing the show, and he was like it was wild it was like it was crazy. Now you say hardcore, Now, what's hardcore to Ben mallor Well, it didn't involve donkeys or something like that, it was, but no, I mean it was not.

I remember there used to be this stan it's still around called the Spice Channel, which was one of my first experiences with porn. But it was very disappointing because they didn't show the the pushing and pulling. They showed everything but the main event, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, And it was frustrating as a kid because you wanted to see the main event and you were trying to learn about it, and then they wouldn't show it. So it wasn't that this was the main event. This was

the full monty. Uh, you know the whole thing. You were back in the day when your parents got that black box you had all the channels. I was great. Oh man, The Spice Channel was like one of my favorite channels when I was growing up. It was wonderful to Spice Channel until like I forgot to change the channel after turning the TV off, so my dad found out I was watching it. Oh, I did the same thing. My we had a satellite set up because I I was at that time, I was the only the big satellite, like,

not the small ones, the big ones. And it was like the coolest thing because my my parents were like, you need to watch you know, you love sports. Is the only way to watch all these other games, so you want to be a sportscaster. So they did it. And it was about the same price as cable at the time, so a little more expensive to buy the dish and a lot. Anyway, so we had this and and I watched mostly games, but every once in a while I would find you, you know, I move over

to the porn and and uh. And the way that the satellite was set up in the house, like I had access in my bedroom, I had connection and then whatever I was watching, I didn't realize this was also available to my parents downstairs. Uh. And one night, late at night, I thought parents were sleeping and put on the old Spice channel, have a good time, and my my dad comes in. My my I'm sure my mom's said my dad, but my dad comes knocking on there, what are you watching? You know? He doesn't go I

know exactly. So we had a similar experience. Look at that, we had a similar The best thing is my dad's sending me down and going, you know, son, uh, women really don't do this, Like really they don't. You're telling me women, women don't just randomly dress up as fresh maids and Ben Nolan the Really that doesn't happen. Okay, my dad wasn't even that mad. He's just trying to like you, like, hey, he was like, hey, son, I know what it is. It's cool, my dad. I don't

want to hear it. Yeah, that's not I agree, And that's not a conversation you want to have. I literally told my dad I'd rather have you I'd rather just take the punishment than have you give me a speech. Yeah you do not need a lecture about the birds and the bees. I'm right there with you, absolutely, And uh yeah, my m be fair. My parents didn't really

do that. They just thought I'd figured it out on my own kind of thing, you know, that whole And they said, well, you have sex head in school, you know that was that was that's what we should do for sex, and just put a porto on. Yeah, good luck. Did you imagine what kind of porto would you it on? What a minute? You shouldn't put that on. You gotta put seven different kinds of portal on that make everyone happy. My goodness, goodness. All right, well that's enough, we don't

and I can go on. There was a story I saw about daylight savings time. They said that we should I agree with this, we should get rid of daylight savings time, like you know that springing your head falling back. They said, springing your head hits night owls harder, which I agree with. I think it's just done. We don't need it. The farmers don't need it. It's stupid. Pick a time to get it right in Arizona and Hawaii and the places that they don't have daylight savings time.

You see, I'm gonna have to disagree with you. Come on, come on, mcbang. I'm gonna tell you. One night I had sex for sixty two minutes because of daylight savings time. Oh my god, you like that? Oh so you said, oh you told her let's go to okay, Oh I know what you do? All right there? Any want said, right, all right, I'm not going there. I figured it out. All right, there you go. No one else was in

the room at the time this happened. But anyway, all right, very good and that is that you can honestly follow me on all the social media channels if you're not doing that already, on Instagram, Ben Mallard, on Fox Facebook Ben Mallard Show. Like our Facebook page. I see a lot of people commenting on there that haven't clicked the light button on the Facebook page. Bad job by you, so make sure you do that. And on Twitter at Ben Maller and Ryan how can the listeners track you down?

On Twitch as Ryan McBain R Y A N M C B A I N and on Twitter Ryan McBain. Also, you know, if you're a Boston fan, please contact me. I would love to talk to you. Yes, I'm sure you can. They can exchange you can exchange notes on where to live when you move to Boston, when you get that big radio job and ball Austin. They can give you the inside skinny on that. Anyway, listen, I have a great rest of the day here on Saturday.

We got the mail bag right around the bend on Sunday, and we'll catch you then.