Cut booms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maller and Danny G Radio, and a happy Sunday to you as we are hanging out on this third day of the month of August and celebrating one of the final Sundays before football. I don't really count these exhibition games. I don't know about you, Danny G Radio, but I watched more of the Hall of Fame game on Thursday than I have in years, but only because I wanted to hear Brent Musburger and I wasn't sure when Musburger
was going to come on. You know that, and he didn't show up.
Well, he was the highlight. And then I know once you got on the radio. Probably one of your monologues was about how Trey Lance is now a top ten quarterback.
Well, the rumor, and I don't know, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this on the podcast, but that Kansas City's offered Mahomes and Kelsey for Trey Lance. That that, and that's what Schefter had.
Now, No, I think the Chargers could get more.
Yeah, no, I agree. When you think of the greatest Charger quarterbacks, you think of Philip Rivers, you think of Dan Fouts, you think of Drew Brees. But all of them, all of them pale in comparison to July Trey Lance. Nothing match July Trey Lance. He's the greatest jobs.
And do you know after the game, an NFL reporter posted the final score and said, oh boy, the Lions sure are going to miss Ben Johnson.
Oh yeah, yeah.
You can make a lot of nothing like overreacting to a Hall of Fame game, the first preseason game of the year where no actual starters are on the field.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I do realize before you said, well, Ben, you overreact all the time? Are your stupid radio show? Yeah, listen, I understand we're in the reaction business, but even for me, Danny, that is a bridge too far.
You know what I'm saying, And you overreact to starters I do.
I do overreact to QB one's and all that stuff. And I I have learned my lesson over the years on not getting burned by exhibition quarterbacks. What was the guy? There was a quarterback the Saints had. Was it Jake Hayner? I think that was. Remember last year there was a guy that played really well if I remember in the exhibition games who people were getting all horny, They're like, oh man, this guy's amazing. Didn't quite work out that way.
I think it was Jake, And there was Every year there's one quarterback at least that just dominates exhibition football, right, just is amazing. I think it was Jake Haner the Saints last year. I might be wrong on that, but either way it doesn't matter. Yeah. So anyway, today's Sunday, and we'll have plenty there will be exhibition football. There was only one not to I don't think today. But next week that's when the real card begins in exhibition football.
Now we have the word of the week, dany are you ready for the word of the week.
You're gonna do Word of the week on a mail bag Sunday.
And then we'll get to the mail bag. I just wonder a mail bag edition of word of the week. Ok, this is the word of the week. Is usurped? Now? This was by request from the aforementioned alf the alien opiner. He said, Ben, I heard you mentioned the word usurped twice in monologues this week or something like that. I'm trying to I'm membering this off the top of my
head anyway. So the word usurped, which goes all the way back, it was first recorded in the twelve hundreds, somewhere between twelve seventy five and the early thirteen hundreds. The word usurped has a lineage that goes way back. It goes like so many of our words, it goes back to Latin roots. There's also some Old French influence in there. The original meaning in Old the French was to wrongfully appropriate. That was the original and by the
early fourteenth century in Middle English. According to the linguistic people where I got this from, they claim that it was used to describe falsely claiming rights or seizing power. That I was normally used in political dialogue. So when someone usurps a throne or a title, they're essentially seasoning for use without rightful claim, all right, without rightful claim.
So if you want to, if you want to use the word usurp, you could say that Danny, if I were away and we had I don't know who would be in here doing the podcast. If we brought somebody else in third person into the podcast and they did well, they would usurp the podcast from me.
So the word of the week is it was like when I was a little kid at the dinner table and my mom would say stop it, and I looked, I'm like what she's like, you surp it and I had my soup in front of me.
Or if you go out to a Malibu or Santa Monica, you could surp a right cowibump. Let's get to the mailbag. Here we go, mail back time, mailback, mailbag.
Mail bag, it's mail bag.
Thank you very much. The great Ohio. What a talented guy Ohio al is and he had a great song in the mallet PLA. No, he's good. We don't have a lot of good I need.
To sell that. At least you got his name right few All.
Right, ah, let's go. Let's go. First up, Frank from Michigan. Oh this is good, Frank says. I don't normally don't normally right into your show, but you inspired me this week, he says, Ben and Danny. I live near three dairy queens in my town, and I want you guys to know that I was able to hit all three after hearing your overnight show, and I got blizzards at each. So I'm both very charitable, Frank says, and I'm now fat. Thank you.
Well.
I don't know if you guys on Covino and Rich I had to do this, but we had every segment was sponsored by dairy Queen, every segment on the Overnight show, So.
Oh no, we didn't have that on our show.
Okay, yeah, it was a national I don't know, it was some It was a charitable thing where they were giving kids. They were donating like a dollar from every blizzard. So so every segment I had to do a liner for dairy Queen everyone. And so that inspired this guy Frank to go, I guess and get get three blizzards. Of course, also possible, Danny. I don't want to rip Frank that he's a big, fat guy and he just likes eating, you know, blizzards. I mean something wrong with that.
You don't have to you know, you can blame me as your guy and say, but just my fault anyway, Thank you, Frank. Alf from the ledge of the tallest building I could find says it is with a heavy heart that I am writing this message. Do you do you think that the rumors that I cut the cord reached the suits over at NBC Sports Boston and had any influence on the decision to poll acts the TV show? Do you hold me responsible in any way for cutting said cord at the end of June? Does this mean
that you won't be returning to the Bay State? What am I even doing here?
Alf?
Well, here's the deal. Yes, you are responsible. If you had only kept cable television, the show would have been brought back, and unfortunately it does not look like I will be returning to Boston. I love those trips to Boston were great, and to tape stuff for the TV show and multitask and have Mallard meet and greets and all that was a lot of fun. I'm bummed out. I was actually supposed to meet Alf last year, but
he couldn't make it because of the weather. I was able to meet Mass whole Mickey before he unfortunately died shortly after that and some of the other listeners that came on. There is a chance alv the the Leprechaun and Mike in New Hampshire have offered to roll out the red carpet for a special Mallor meet and greet in Worcester and in Boston. I need to know more information. I want to make sure that's a legitimate offer before I accept. I'm not sure the details on that. I
got to make sure to read the fine print. So it is possible that I will be back there just for a Malor meet greet, just for a mal of meat and greet.
So we'll seanks for the warning.
Yeah no, and and alphas is ps. I blame that camera hog, Tom Looney. He's dead to me, public enemy number one. He says, Wow, all right, thank you for that dub.
That's what you get for going with the wrinkled up bold penny.
There you go, Ryan Ryan C. From Shrewsbury, Mass writes in He says, Hey, Ben and Danny g As you guys know, I've been emailing the pod for a while now, and I started by telling you guys about me and all that, But I want to start asking the questions we will want answers to. I said, this guy Ryan, let me tell you some danme. This guy Ryan is on the pulse of the people. He says. I was the guy that asked about softer hardshell tacos and who wins a race between you, sain Bolt and joy Chestnut.
But she had to down one hot dog. I had to start the race. So for this week's question, if you got offered five thousand dollars a week for the rest of your life, but you had to have Taco Bell for one meal a day for the next ten years, would you do it? Ryan says? He says, personally, I am a wimp and a pussy willow when it comes to fast foods, so I would do it immediately. He says, thanks, Pois, that's from Ryan. Well, is there any reason to say no?
Like?
Who would say no to five brand a week?
Danny?
And all you had to do is eat Taco Bell one meal a day, Like.
I mean, that's a noe brainer if you think about it. The other two meals would be up to you, so you could make those the healthy meals. The Taco Bell once a day, could just clean your system out.
Yeah, you eat it at night before you go to bed. And now my problem, My problem is I can go in there and eat some burritos and tacos and all the different weird items they have at Taco Bell and all that during the week. I usually only eat one meal a day, so that would be my one meal would be Taco Bell. They have enough items on there, like you could try the canteena burrito and you can.
Yeah, they have enough different items to where you could. I mean, it would still get old if you had to do it for that many years, but there's enough items now at least to rotate through. Yeah.
Is it true they charged twenty cents per pack of like hot sauce and stuff.
Is that true or is that No? Not at not at our Taco bells here in California at least.
Okay, that's good. That's good. Next up is Barry, my guy, Barry from South Carolina. Still sadly yo yo, Ma, Benny and Danny g Okay. I can't be the only one thinking this, but I am calling bs on Willis.
Now.
Willis is the dog of Andrea. So Barry says the first few months, Willis is not hurt at all. Now, every time Andre is on the phone, Willis is barking up a storm, Barry says after a minute long Barry in South Carolina Investigation, I added that part he said, this is a fake dog. This is some.
Gizmo he had, Oh no, which.
Is a button when he wants Willis is totally made up?
Says they're onto us. Ben, Willis is part of our payroll that we're not supposed to talk about.
Willis is AI. I think Willis is an AI dog.
I agree. Berry.
Here's the thing, though, Danny. People were originally saying that the dog Willis was was not a real dog, meaning there was no dog there. Because Andre and the Commonwealth. Andre would say I've got my dog, Willis. I'm walking my dog. The dog would not make any noise. Yeah, some people said it was not a real dog. Then there was a period of time where Andre would call up from the Commonwealth and the dog would bark a little bit. And the last couple of weeks, every time
Andrea starts talking, bark bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. Oh, I mean it's not stop, Danny, It's not stop. It's insane. So I don't know he sent he sent photos. Now, if I do end up back in Boston, hopefully i'll meet Andre and i'll meet the I'll meet the dog, and I will make a determination at that point. But yeah, God, so work burk burk bark, bark, bark, bark bark. How dare you all right? Next up on the mailbag, Joe
from New York. Right, since says Ben and Danny, where can I find Benny Versus the Penny in twenty twenty five? You did not say on your Friday podcast where the show will be?
Oh no, please don't tell me you're gonna have me produce it again.
Well, we don't. We do not know the correct answer at this point, Danny. I mean there's a possibility it does return to the podcast.
No, that we're gonna have Looney produce that.
Then, well, I don't know what's gonna happen. There's all and there's all kinds of things. That is my intellectual property at this point, so believe it or not, there are other people that are interested in Benny Versus the Penny on other platforms. So the answer at this point is to be determined. So all right, we have not
made a formal decision. There are some conversations that are underway with people that actually want unlike NBC that didn't want to show anymore, people that actually want the show. So we'll see if the problem is we're late in the game. You know how this stuff works. These deals are normally done months in advance. They're normally done way in advance. We got a poll axe by NBC at the very final minute, which gave us really no time to get a new deal.
If the Penny has the season off, you know the old pip hop saying, keep them eager to listen, Eric being rock chem style, so people will be clamoring for the Penny Show for next season.
Well, there's that. I mean's certainly that. So at this point, as we sit here on August third, there is no answer yet. But one thing's for sure, Danny, I'm not afraid of promoting the hell out of crap. I'm not
afraid of promoting the hell out of stuff. So I will let people know, just like people were upset with me, Danny, because I did not say what the future was it Benny versus the Penny I said, you got to listen to the Friday fifth Hour podcast to find out, right, So I tossed that out and people they assumed that I was the show was coming back. So people were sending me congratulatory letters. I'm so glad the TV show is coming back. You know, they're all fired up. And
I was like, no, you know what happens we assume Nanny? Yeah, yeahs Blind Scott is really shaken by this, really upset by this, threatening to quit the show. Blind Scott all right, Reggie from Detroit writes in says, hey, Ben and Danny. He says, Ben, why don't you and Tom do a show for NBC that's not about gambling. You said that the problem was you couldn't get a sponsor because it was a gambling show. So just do a regular show without gambling. That's a great idea, Reggie. I'm sure. I'm
sure they'll just give us a TV show? Why not? Is that how that works?
Danny?
You just say, hey, why not just give us a TV show? Yeah?
Yeah, you guys can replace Colbert?
Oh my god, yeah, well we got the Colbert, but he gets to do his show till what may. He's not gonna make it till May. Right, they're gonna take him off the year before May, Colbert right.
You would think you would think.
So, I'm gonna predict the holiday season starts around Thanksgiving, I'll bet you somewhere, because those shows usually go pretty dark around there, don't they.
You don't think he's gonna make it to Black Friday?
Well, I think they'll just be like he's gonna take vacation and then never come back. That's my that's my guess. Boy, do I know?
All right?
Next up, Steve from Seattle writes in on.
The mail Bag.
Here, he says, Ben and Danny, Ben, I'm sorry about your TV show being executed by NBC, he says, on a positive note, uh, he said, did you see the controversy with Sydney Sweeney? He says. He says, the actress seems to be everywhere fronting dozens of ad campaigns. Is she over exposed? So Danny explained, I saw this hullabaloo. I saw this controversy this week. I don't. I did not really follow the story, so I'm not. I'm sorry, Steve. My plate is full, my head was spinning.
Yeah. I also just saw it in passing and so I don't know the details either. I'm looking right now, It says, backlash against Sidney Sweeney jeans slash jeens g E n E s ad gets mocked by the White House. Americans are tired of this bullshit. A top White House communications official responded to critics of American Eagles ads starring Sidney Sweeney, calling their critiques of the campaign warped and moronic.
In a post on social media this week, White House Communications director Stephen Chang wrote on x that claims that the ad contains armful racial subtext are a sign of cancel culture run amuck and an example of why voters chose to re elect President Trump in last year's election. What started out as a buzzy commercial starring one of Hollywood's most in demand actresses has quickly spiraled into a
sprawling debate over sex, race, politics, and American culture. It says the ad, or more accurately, series of ads, are built around the tagline Sidney Sweeney has great genes, a play on the word genes that conflates American eagle denim with the genetic traits her famously voluptuous figure.
Oh okay, so there are well that seems like a Danny that seems to me like a rather large stretch. Like you know how there's certain people that are always looking for something to be offended by, called the Internet. You know what I mean, Come on, what are you doing? There are beautiful people from all backgrounds and all.
You know.
I don't.
I don't.
I'm not wired that.
People should be allowed to have their type. And that doesn't mean that other types aren't beautiful.
Exactly. They're beautiful people from all genetic backgrounds and mixed together and all that, and it's wonderful and glorious, and you don't need to be offended by every effing thing, you morons.
Yeah, it says. In general, the primary complaint is that the ad celebrates the genes slash genes of a white, blonde, blue eyed actress.
Oh my god, hey, where are the white women at?
What this is? To me?
It sounds like not to get political, Danny's read me. Yeah for sure, I'm not that guy, So I'm not. You know, I don't know what to add to that. Thank you, though, Steve for bringing that to my I'm glad you brought that up.
Danny. Let's get Klay Travis on the phone.
Oh god c China. Well, I'll do two shows on that to a tag o volli ya. Next up is James in Vancouver. He says, Dear Ben, now that you have have his phone number, could you please let Angry Bill know that the battery for his smoke detector needs to be replaced. It has been chirping in the background of his calls since at least may best regards James
and Vancouver. Well, James, thank you first of all for emailing. Secondly, A, even though I told Coop to give it to have Angry Bill give his number, Coop never gave me Angry Bill's numbers, so I still don't have Angry Bill's number. And B I am slightly can concerned that Angry Bill that beep you heard in the background was not a smoke detector. That he's in a hospital. That's what I'm worried about. Bill's got some health problems, so I'm concerned
he was calling us from a hospital. You know how when you're I remember when I would visit my relatives in the hospital I was younger, and sometimes, depending on how fed up they were, there'd be that in the background, you know, like some machine. So I don't know for sure that's it, James, but I'm concerned that that might be what you were hearing in the background because Bill stopped calling for a while. He said he had a medical problem, and so, uh yeah, I am a little
concerned by that. Next up, Toning the Bay Area says, hey, Ben and Danny g Unfortunately, there will be another season of sloppy picks, unlike Benny versus the Penny. But do us a favor and make it sloppy versus a caller. Now that is y'all. Now, what is your all opinion about the Denver Broncos getting their own fucking colors? Toning THEA says, example, Saints wearing silver and black, and he says, go bears what he So, that's Tony. I love Tony's.
Tony's a great character. Tony's Yeah, I love the guy.
Next level, they were used to all the teams stealing the Raiders colors as their alternate jerseys.
Well, that started in the nineties, right, One of the first ones I remember was the Chicago White Sox, and then the La Kings hockey team did it.
And when did the San Antonio Spurs go to that? Uh?
I think the Spurs have always been black and silver.
I think, okay, what year did they start their franchise? You know, hey, they've been around for a while.
Weren't then they were in the were they the one of the ABA teams? I mean, they've been around a while. But the White Sox when I was a kid were red, white and blue, and then they switched to that. The King's La Kings hockey team was purple and gold like and then they switched to black and silver.
Yeah, that's when Doctor Buss owned their team as well. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, it says the Spurs were founded in nineteen sixty seven.
Okay, so the you know that's allowed right.
Still after the Raiders, though, you're taking that.
You're like our guy, Tony, You're not happy about that, all.
Right, It's okay. You know. That's like when people steal bits we do from the radio.
Oh yeah, I hear it all the time. I will have people email me say I was listen to our local morning show and they did something that you did two days ago. And I'm like, all right, well there you go. I hope they did it, you know, living up to my standards. Dave from Tacoma Rights and says, hey man, Danny love the podcast. He says, this video has forty nine million views. He says, it's a woman on a boat and you get here. A woman on a boat in Seattle.
Do you see this, Danny?
A baby seal hops on their boat there to get away from a killer whale.
What is this Animal Thunderdome?
That does sound like a story for Animal Thunderdome anyway. Dave from Tacoma says Ben and Danny. Do you think things like this just started happening because of TikTok? He says, no, doesn't this one fall under the video or it didn't happen? Category you know how you better show me video or didn't happen?
You know?
Yeah, I would say too. The crazier video that was going around the past few days. It was in Saudia, Arabia. Twenty three people hurt, three critically injured. Amusement park ride snapped it in half mid air.
Oh I did see that's crazy?
Yeah nobody, Yeah, midair this thing snapped into hit the ground hard. I don't know what the carnegies are like in Saudia Arabia. We know what they're like here in the States.
Yeah, what do they do to you in Saudi Arabia if you're a carnee and you f up the right That sounds like I have more of an engineering problem, though, doesn't it than a carnee issue? Because it cracked, right, the foundation thing cracked, isn't that more so?
It wasn't the way it was but up it was the way it was constructed to begin with.
Yeah, clearly something faulted, obviously, I mean meet it tell you that.
There was another story recently too, Ben where people were stuck on the top of a really tall roller coaster and they were up there for so long there was no way to get them apparently, and they had to climb down these emergency stairs, which took like an hour to get down all the way down. Can you imagine being on the top of a roller coaster and then the next thing you know, it's a couple hours of an ordeal where you're walking down emergency stairs. Wow?
Yeah, and I'm good. Well. One of the nice things about being kind of a tall guy and being a big guy for a lot of my life, I don't usually fit on those things, so I can't get stuck in them because they don't put me on them, So I don't have to worry.
About it that you'd be the one on the ground watching your family up in the roller coaster laughing.
Are you a roller coaster guy, Danny? Are you a big coaster?
I do like a good roller coaster. Yeah, it's your favorite coaster.
What's the greatest coaster you've been on?
There is one in San Diego at SeaWorld. I think of the name of it right now, I'll look it up. But man, I wasn't sure if I wanted to clap, barf or hee my pants or do all three at the same time.
That crazy SeaWorld.
Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, because SeaWorld they figured out the formula, like people were upset about, you know, the shamoos and the captivity of some of the creatures, and so they had to pivot and start doing thrill rides.
Okay, do they still have animals or is it all just amusement?
They do? Yeah, but a lot of people go there now for their rides. No, okay.
Next up is Evan from Parts Unknown. He says, Ben and Danny, are you guys making your final your final preparations for the end of your life? He says. A Harvard scientist has announced that there is a mysterious interstellar object hurling through the Solar System and says it will spell disaster for mother Earth. Says a professor from Harvard claims this object, he predicts will we'll end up reaching Earth between November twenty first and December fifth of this year.
And he's got theories on it, saying that it's the alien, it's an alien craft, and that it could be carrying a probe or a weapon. Do do do do do do do do? Well, that's good. I guess we can go out and spend a lot of money, and that we can. If you knew the world was gonna end Danny on November twenty first, you take out a lot of loans, wouldn't you it. You don't have to pay him back, So take a lot of loans out and live your best life. Just go for it. Why not.
I'll also go back on Tinder for a few months.
Eh, look at you, Danny? Hello, all right, just kiddy, just kidding, I know, all.
Right, unless my watch is in the swinging, then I'm not kidding.
Then you'll be like try something different when anyway, have a we'll do it. We'll end it there. I'll be back tonight. Now, it is a short week for me this week, Danny, because I got some of the stuff I've got to take care of away from the radio show. So I will be in tonight and tomorrow and then that's it for the week. So it's a two day work week for me. We'll have the podcast next weekend per normal. What about you, Danny with Covino and Rich what's the plan there?
Normal week? We are on our regular schedule Monday through Wednesday, and then the show is off Thursday and Friday as the guys take their final two days off before the football season.
Yeah, everyone's trying to get their time off before the NFL begins.
Yeah, yep. Oh and really quick, Benny, I looked it up. That roller coaster is called the Emperor.
The Emperor, that's the one with.
The dive coaster, and it's California's tallest, fastest, and longest dive coaster. It features a one and forty three foot drop. Oh wow, awesome. All right, so your stomach goes into your throat.
Yeah, I'll watch. Well, I'll be on the ground, I'll look up and watch, Danny.
I'll see how that goes.
Yeah, So all right, Hey, le's have a great sunny. Thank you guys for supporting the podcast. Appreciate it, love you all, you're the greatest, and we'll catch you next week on the pot. But I'll catch you tonight eleven o'clock here tonight in the West, and that's two am on Monday morning in the East, with a new episode of The Ben Maler Show. Until then, as you say, Nanny Later, Skater