Cutbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the clearing House of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio on a Saturday early and Danny.
Hanging out with us here. We are available every single day.
You get the overnight show during the week Monday through Friday and repackage in the original Recipe podcast and then as you know this podcast on Yesterday, Friday, Today, Saturday, and then tomorrow on Sunday. You're Danny on with Covino and Rich during the week on a Fox Sports radio and we are united to form Voltron every weekend and so excited to celebrate with you, Danny. Now you know
tomorrow not tomorrow, but I's Monday, Saint Patti's Day. But today is National Corn Dog Day, which is a very very important day.
The corn dog. What a gift, right.
Can you imagine a world without the corn dog? My god, what a nightmare that would be. But here we are celebrating. I don't know why today is National corn Dog Day. Seems kind of a random day to do it, but it is. Nineteen twenty nine. Fun fact, the Krusty corn Dog Machine featured Albert pick El Barth. It was in a catalog at hotel supply stores and so the Corny Dogs vaudeville performers Carl and Neil Fletcher never heard of him, started selling corny dogs at the Texas State Fair. That
was in nineteen forty two. So the corn dog is not that old. The corn dog is is not something that's been around. I mean, it's been around for almost one hundred years, but you know, it's not as old as some of the other stuff they were eating. But hey, I used to love corn dogs. I remember in elementary school,
I hated the food. My mom would usually give me a lunch box with like a tuna fish sandwich or peanut butter and jelly or something like that, and I always hated tuna fish sandwich day because by the time we got the lunch the tuna was warm and disgusting, and I hate so much of it.
I don't even eat seafood anymore.
But yeah, did your mom think that lunchtime at school was ten thirty am?
I think so. I think she was convinced.
Well, she had like this little cheesy ice pack, but it didn't really work. In all those early ice packs were not the greatest thing in the world when they first came out.
So it just was a bad situation.
But every once in a while I'd get the opportunity when we got the schedule on the cafeteria food when it was corn dog day, I'm in you know, that was my day.
That was my day, corn dog.
Day that I got to be a big shot and eat it to school lunch lunch area.
So that was big.
And the best batter is when they put the honey in there, the honey corn dog.
Oh yeah, it's so good. Now I have made corn dogs at the Malor Mansion. The problem is they're they're really jumbo size, which is not a problem, but they don't look like your traditional corn dog. I rotate nuts that you would buy at like a Wiener Schnitzel or something along those lines. But anyway, now Danny have you heard the phrase You're damned if you do, You're damned if you don't.
You heard that phrase, right, You're damned if you do.
Know.
So, I feel like this podcast is a no win situation because for a while we didn't talk any sports, and we still don't talk that much sports, but on the Saturday, and today's being Saturday, I mean, we've tried to take advantage of some NFL stories and that'd be dated by the time I come back on Sunday night and Monday. And so I'm now getting people complaining that we're doing too much sports on the podcast, that people are upset that that we've gone away from what the
podcast is supposed to be. So you can't win because before we were people people were complaining Danny.
They were like, well, you know, you don't talk any sports. I tuned in for the sports. You don't talk any what's wrong with you? You the Ben Malasher.
You talk about sports all night and then the week is you talk about yet for lunch, you know, and that kind of And I was like, Okay, so now I'm trying to mix it in and damned if you do, damn if you don't.
But screw those people. You know, why, Nanny, Because Cooper Cup is now a Seattle Seahawk. Wow, Cooper Cup is a Seattle Seahawk.
And I'm gonna take advantage of this opportunity because I don't want to waste time on the valuable airwaves of FSR. But Cooper Cup yesterday agreed to a deal with the Seattle Seahawks. And the reaction, that's really what I want to talk about, because that many, many people in the NFL world were stunned, not just fans, but a lot of NFL types that Cooper Cup picked the team in the Pacific Northwest. And now one fan, our guy Nostra Denis, who's one of the twelves there, this bozo. He took
a victory lap on social media. He said, I called it. I called it, and he's like, I can't wait to hear the fifth dollar broadcast, he said tomorrow.
Okay.
So I would like to quote Danny the Great Vince Lombardi, Vincent Lombardi who said, act like you've been there before. No Stredenas your name is literally no Stredenis. Okay, you are the self titled king of predictions. You're supposed to be a prediction guy, so you know, zip it, zip it. And I wouldn't be celebrating this because Cooper Cup's on his last legs, So be careful what you wish for.
And the reason why so many people are gob smacked, gob smacked by Cooper Cup going to Seattle, I'll tell you, hey, it's simple.
Uh.
He was at a fork in the road and Cup zigged when people expected him to that. Rather than sign with a playoff contender, he announced He's ready to go the extra mile. And I mean when I say extra miled Danny, I mean the Miles Garrett, because Miles Garrett is now the standard for I'm not into winning anymore.
I just want the money.
And when he when he had that long rant a couple of weeks ago about how I you know, I don't want to be in Cleveland anymore. I want to win Super Bowls and all that, and then the Browns made him a godfather offer and it's like, you know, I'm good all of a sudden, I'm okay with the Browns and all that.
So when you go the extra mile.
Don't you think that was partly the Brown's fault? They backed him into a corner by saying no way in hell that they would move him.
No, no, they he could have held his ground and would have gotten traded.
If that never works out well for NFL players though, when they hold.
Out, Uh, I wouldn't say never. I mean there have been examples where it blows up, like Leveon Bell when he sat out the hole.
Yeah, I'm talking about prolonged holdouts where you miss games.
Yeah. See, it's all about a game of chicken. Though.
As you know, it's like you call the bluff of the team and generally the attitude. I'll give you the idea the attitudes, like what Seattle said about DK Metcalf the GM there was like, well, we want people to want to be here, and he didn't want to be here, and so we traded.
Him and all that. And I'm kidous.
If Miles Garrett wanted to be traded, there were plenty of teams that would have traded and the Browns would have done it. And even more evidence on that, Danny. The story that came out I think it was on Thursday of this week. I ranted about it on the Overnight Show, was that Miles Garrett was showing up late to meetings and he wasn't taking part in team functions and stuff like that.
They were ripping him for being a bad leader.
You want to bet that was leaked by one of the teams that thought they had a trade lined up for Miles Garrett and they leaked that to sabotage him because they're like, ah, you know, we couldn't get the player. We thought we had a deal, and I guess he backed out because he wanted the Browns contract, and so then they start attacking it certainly didn't come from the Browns and it didn't come from Miles Garrett, so it
had to come from another team. But as far as Cooper cup though all right mentioned that people show, you know, stunned by this and all that.
But he went to Miles Garrett route. He's got his piece of metal.
He's also going home. He's from Eastern Washington exactly.
You know.
He won the MVP of the Super Bowl for the Rams and all that. So the Rams, you know, they they they got everything they could out of him, and now I wish him, well, I know Seattle's apparently from what I read overpaying him. I've read right yesterday like fifteen million dollars a year and then finally.
Just like how your rams overpaid Davonte Adams.
R Colm down all right, com down? Uh and good good luck.
And my final thought for Cooper Cup and I hope he will take No Stradina's with him because in January, when you're playing with Sam Darnold, you don't have to worry about winning big games or getting to the playoffs. So Cup and Donald and No Stradinas can all go to like Cancun together and have a fine time. And you know, fine, I listened Cooper Cup. I loved him as a ram. He had one of the great years
in the history of the NFL. If you look at his body work, he was about a good to great player for maybe a year and a half, maybe a year and a half, and then he's just consistently gotten hurt and it's it's been an issue. And I'm convinced Danny that Seattle people will say, well, they got bamboozled when they picked up Cooper Cup. It was a total bamboozled situation.
Well boy, right on time, there, Ben the Teimer, the alarm was about to go because you were talking too much sports.
I know.
I don't want to piss off people because I'm talking sports Sporto on the weekend.
How well they were?
Really?
What was the one I did? Uh number a couple weeks so, I don't think you were here for this. It was a Pete Carroll one I did, like the whole thing on Pete Carroll, I think if I remember correctly.
And I think that was here.
Yeah, and oh yeah, you shouldn't have done that.
You did.
Yeah, and then you did a whole you did a bonus monologue on Jeno Smith. Oh yeah, because you got in a Twitter beef with no I got.
Had nothing to do. I'm I'm a grown up Danny. I don't hold grudges. I just call it like it is. Sure you don't, Well, listen, you'll be gonna try hold on. You will be asking me for negative Geno smifth monologues by about week five. Okay, you will be saying can you rip Gino a little more on the Overnight show? That's what you're gonna be telling me. You mean texting me messages. Can you tear into this Dow?
Yeah, get my fair share of Gino rippage without saying a word to you. Well, one guy, Ben that I'm gonna try to not hold a grudge against a couple of days ago, the WiFi and the baby, the big Baby Koa, who, by the way, has learned to say the word wail.
Nice.
Yeah, as we were pool side, we went to the beautiful city you visited not too long ago to go to the zoo.
Oh sure, San Diego. Love San Diego, Sonny.
But Wendy, you know, in southern California, we have some leftover winter weather.
Our California winter, California winter, which is Yeah.
I went to the bar to order some food to go for us so that we could eat poolside without you know, being charged the twenty extra dollars to have some goof drop the food off to you sure, and drop it off cold. So I thought, well, let me go to the bar. I'll order it. I'll get the food hot and bring it pool side so big Baby Koa can have a cheese pizza and say whale. As women were walking past him, he was saying whale. A true story. I swear to god. It was so not embarrassing.
It was so hilarious because the look on the ladies' faces they didn't know whether to say how adorable or to be offended.
What it likely depended on how much they waited.
Right likely, he said, it's so cute, he says, wa.
Have you I'm assuming you've taken them out on a whale watching thing.
Have you taken him out?
No? But before we left left in their gift shop there there was a whale and a stuffed whale, and I got that for him for a great deal for fourteen ninety nine a little stuffed whale. That was the best deal I got a couple days ago on this trip. So we're pool side with the food. But before I delivered the food to the fam, I'm sitting at the bar to get the happy hour price on the wings that I was going to bring over along with our pizza.
The bartender told me I needed to sit down. You can't get the specials if you're just taking the food to go. So I told him, all right, well, I'll sit down. I'll have one alcoholic beverage while I wait for the food to come out of your kitchen. And so it worked out. Good wife is with the co at the pool. He's probably calling five other women whales during that time span. I ordered a couple of Pizzas I get the wings, he slaps the wings down in
front of me. I get a dark beer, pours the guinness, puts it in front of him, and there's a guy to the left of me with his wife and they're talking about how they're so excited because after they leave the bar they're going to go to a tattoo shop. Wife is going to get some new ink. So they're showing their tattoos. He's talking about the tattoos he's got on his arms, and he looks over at me and he could see my twenty three tattoos and he says, man,
that's some nice ink. Start talking tattoos with this guy. He said, yeah, on my left leg, this whole leg right here is going to be my sports legh okay, And he says, you know, with what I do for a living, I actually get a lot of pro athlete signatures.
OK.
So I'm thinking, oh, no, don't tell me I'm sitting next to some sports radio guy.
Oh boy, no.
Ben turns out he's a referee.
Really.
I got like, yeah, Mike, I'm thinking to myself, well, dude, this guy's got a lot of ink on him for being a referee. But you know, maybe with the long, longer, short sleeve referee shirts. Maybe he hides the ink. Yeah, I don't know, but I'm not gonna whip out my phone and google this guy right in front of him. So he's talking about refereeing, and the people to his right are very impressed by his referee stories. Okay, the bartender starts listening as well, and we're thinking, man, did
this guy just you know ref the suit? Was he part of the super Bowl crew? He's here on this nice vacation, it looks like, with his wife and they're getting new ink, and he's talking about his sports leg and he's gonna get he has all these NFL players autographs, and he's gonna he's gonna get like a mural on his leg of NFL stars and autographs. Sure, and I'm thinking, well, that's kind of a fanboy for somebody that's a referee.
It didn't make a lot of sense to me. He he gets a phone call and it seemed really important, you know, man, Maybe Roger Goodell.
Is calling him right now.
Sure, because he takes his phone back and he looks at both parties being the other people, and he's, excuse me, I got to take this. So he wanders away from the bar, area and he's on this important call. I look over to his wife and she starts to talk to me about the tattoos she's going to get. And I asked her, I said, so, how long has he been refereeing?
In?
Which league? Does he referee NFL games? And she says, oh, oh no, no, he's a high school refer.
Oh man, I was gonna say, I didn't want to off to you, but it's like, this sounds like a hard old guy that's like a heart high school referee. Oh boy, why you know, he's certainly got that.
I felt very bamboozled because the stories he was telling the folks, and how proud he was about these signatures he says he gets from all these pro athletes, and just the way he carried himself. You know, you would have thought this was Ed Hocule's next to me.
Yeah.
Yeah, Well, isn't it like the real big time officials probably don't talk about it, right, They probably say they do something else or something. But that is that's amusing. So he led you guys on. This guy had the whole room. It sounds like he was in control of the whole room. It's like the master of ceremonies.
At this bar.
I wish I had a red Challenge flag. When he came back from his fake important call, I would have threw the flag at him.
This reminds me and I think I can tell the story now because everyone's dead. But when I first went to Dodgertown in Vero Beach back many many I was like thirty years ago, and they had a famous bar, Dodgertown Bar. Nothing in Vero Beach but Dodgertown. They had everything at a restaurant at the bar all that so, and we were doing this the show back to La and then we had a lot of downtime. There's nothing to do in Vero Beach at that time. I heard there's more to do there now, and so we would
just hang out around the Dodgertown Bar. At that time, me and I was in the show It's the Dave Dave Smith, and we were you know, and every single guys and we just hung out in Occasionally we try to go out and that one.
That's a whole different can of hors.
But I remember after some of the Dodger games, there were a couple of the umpires that would come in there and drink at the Dodger Town Bar, and it was always odd to be I was like, what, wait a minute, is it that like a conflict of interest? But I guess that one of them lived in Vero Beach or adjacent and that was like the that was the spot.
They just go in.
There and drink and tell tell stories. One thing about baseball dudes, I mean they those guys, they just love telling stories. They all it is is one story after another and another. That used to be this famous bar
in Manhattan. I think it just closed. It was open for like one hundred years, and you know, going back to like the late early nineteen hundreds, maybe late eighteen hundreds, and it was like a rite of passage for all the baseball writers that would go through New York and a lot of the baseball people would go and they have drinks at this bar. It was in Manhattan, Uh, kind of near where the hotel the ust all stay
at the Grand Hyatt in Manhattan. But I think it closed, but I remember going in there and there were some some umpires in there too. Umpires love to drink. I just all this is coming into my head because of your story. Dan, I blame you just random random thoughts that pop into my head about various umpires and things like that. But they were actually professional umpires.
They were not.
Yeah, I was going to say that. And then before he took that supposed important call, I was thinking to myself, Man, this is going to be a great story to tell on the podcast because I'm sitting having a drink with an NFL referee.
Yeah, and then wrong.
The rest of the story is part I've interviewed two officials in my career. One of them was Ken Kaiser. Do you know Newmerk Ken Kaiser is an umpire, Yeah, I do, kind of an overweight umpire. Ken Kaiser was also like into wrestling and he was selling I'll never forget because I got an email from his publicist, Ken Kayser at a publicist. He was selling shark cartilage to help your like your ligaments like supplements, Shark shark cartilage supplements.
I still remember. We had a lot. Yeah.
And then the other one was on this podcast. We had Tim Donnie on and the guy that was betting on NBA games and fixing NBA games and all that, and he wrote a book and you know, one of the more famous stories, and.
I remember that Kaiser guy.
He kind of looked like a walrus.
He did, he.
Did, he did actually look like That was back when umpires had personality. Now it's another thing that's changed in my lifetime, Danny. The over the top managers and umpires were part of the show, like when we were kids, right, Danny, like the it was part of the Yeah, the the the confrontations between the umpire and the manager and bigger than live personalities, whether they were kind of goofy, fat looking dudes like Thesorda or Earl Weaver or Bill Martin who was thin.
I was gonna say, there's no more Billy Martin's left in major League baseball.
Nah.
No, they're almost all dull, like all the manager Dave Roberts is whatever.
He doesn't say anything all that interesting.
And they're almost like zombie managers now who just take marching orders from upstairs.
Yeah, they're just middle managers. Is Joe Madden. Joe Madden would be. He's like one of the last ones. I bet you we could get him on I have I think I have his information.
The problem with.
Joe Madden I've heard is he does not want to talk actual baseball.
I don't. I don't know if he's got any remote. He might not do it unless he has something to promote.
But that will be perfect for this podcast. Since a couple of people have complained you're talking.
Sports, yes, yes, I should say. I should ford those emails to our bosses, Danny. I just want you to know, in case you get upset that I'm not talking sports, there's people also upset that I am talking sports. Just for the frickin' record, I want to I want to put that out there, and I failed to do this. Yes, yesterday's pot was a little disjointed, not my better work. I apologize. I was very tired, and I promise. I think I said at some point I'm going to get to this, and I didn't get to it. So I
want to get to it now. It's the cheese. So I would like to thank listener Nico from Canada for hooking up the Overnight Crew the Malord Crew with some delicious treats this week, authentic Canadian goodies.
Well, I saw your boxing on Instagram.
Yeah, we got a giant variety pack of these old Dutch potato chips, including had original salt and vinegar, sour cream, and onion and a very unique Ketchup flavored potato chip, which I've never had anything like that before.
And our guy Nico is big p one.
He said, let me let me take care of you boys, and he hooked us up with these big boy cheesies from the Hawkins brand. Now quick Malar food review, Danny. Now, I enjoyed the potato chips. It's hard to screw up a potato chip. Now, that being said, I didn't think they were like light years better than anything I've eaten here in the States, So they were good. I didn't either were like that much better. That being said, the ketchup chips. Have you ever had ketchup chips? Very very unique,
very unique chip. Maybe I'll bring you something. I'm worried if I leave them someone else will eat them though, so I don't know if I can put them somewhere where.
No one will will partake.
And as far as the cheeses are concerned, I had very low expectations. I looked at the package, I said, well, it's a nice package. Well that sounds dirty. But I looked at the container, Danny, and I was like, well, these are probably just cheetos with a Canadian maple leaf logo on them you know who cares and the blessing of low expectations. I could not have been more wrong. These things were mind blowing. They're made with real cheddar cheese,
none of that fake none of that fake crap. I also saw one of your guys, uh, I forget which one a Covino or rich. One of them commented because I posted some photos and they were like, oh that these things are great, and I was like, I didn't eat them at that time. I posted some photos, but I hadn't eaten them yet because I do this stupid fasting thing, so I only once a day. So anyway, so this, uh, this is the second greatest thing that's been in my mouth from Canada after poutine.
My god, Oh.
That's a drop. I'm gonna just cut out.
Have you ever had these cheesies things?
Man?
Oh my god, this is the second greatest thing that's been in my mouth from Canada. You have crossed the rubicon. There's no going back to Cheetos. There's no going back. Wowsers.
This is it's real cheat. It's the cheese Day.
It's a game changer, and I gotta get more of these things.
I'm worried Trump's gonna put tariffs on this stuff.
So I gotta get more these things before the chairffs in Canada because they're really good. And also several while I'm at this, several Canadian p ones. I was gonna save this for the mail bag tomorrow, but I'll just get to it right now. Several Canadian pa ones, including I want to get the names that Steve Connor and somebody named Wayne. I don't know who that is. That's
not Wayne from Southee because he's in Canada. They all reached out this week and they heard Loraina mention a mallord meet and greet in Canada.
Now.
Unfortunately for Connor, who I believe is in the Winnipeg area, Wayne is somewhere near Calgary. I think I got that right, might have gotten those backwards. Anyway, You're not gonna be happy because I don't know where Steve is. He didn't say where he's at. But let me put a disclaimer on this right now. Right nothing is confirmed yet and I probably shouldn't be saying this, but since Lorraina brought it up, I'll bring it up here for the super
p ones that listen to this podcast. It is looking more likely than not, very promising that we will have something in Canada in late May, a mallor hopefully a Malor Meet and grate. I don't know all the details. The event would be in Vancouver. That's the tentative plan, and again it's not confirmed. No plane tickets have been purchased. I don't even have my passport yet. I'm waiting to get my passport, so that should be here sometime in April. So if that happens, obviously I'll be able to go.
I think you can go to Canada without one, though, but I'm not sure. And we have a super p one, this guy Nico, who really wants the entire crew to visit in Vancouver and check out his town and enjoy the Canadian hospitality and all that. So I'm very excited about that. Nothing's confirmed, but I will probably one thing about this show, Danny. You know, we will promote the hell out of out of this and let you know once everything's confirmed. And I am still working on the
Ohio meet and greet too. It's gonna be a very busy summer. I have a feeling a lot of traveling this summer.
Which I'm looking forward to.
I pretty much do all of my traveling in the span of a couple of months, like three months. That's it, make all my trips, and then the rest of the time I'm just bunkered down at the mallor mansion in the north Woods and don't do anything, just keep my head down and keep.
Going and going and going and going and going.
Anyway, all right, on that note, Danny, anything else you want to Saturday?
What do we got today? College basketball?
Eh? Yeah, this is the time of the year where suddenly we become experts on college basketball.
Yes, so sport every gas bag and blowheart ignores and now starting really tomorrow and then Monday, it's on right, it's Selection Sundays tomorrow, and then the tournament playing start on Tuesday, I think. And then you got the greatest two days for gambling Thursday and Friday of next week. So it'll be an interesting time. But we'll get to that when we get to it. And on that, No,
we got the mail bag tomorrow. I think we'll have a phrase of the week tomorrow as well, So who knows what else, And have a wonderful, glorious rest of your Saturday.
Saturday, Saturday, and we'll talk to you next time.
Yeah, see you tomorrow for the mail bag. Asta pasta, Now.
You didn't, you're supposed to say later skater.
No, this one's at asta. I'll do a skater tomorrow, all right, My Felicia