Kabbooms.
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Wow.
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard starts right now.
In the air everywhere, and a happy happy Saturday to you. It is the day before the day before, a day that many look forward to. This the twenty third day of the great month of December. Happy Saturday to you. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler and Danny g Radio in the air everywhere worldwide, thanks to the power of the pod. The power of the pod. And we'll jump
right into it. Danny. We had a spicy hot pod on Friday, very sporty with Yamamoto, the news coming down on Thursday leading into our Friday morning sojourn there with Yamamoto going to the Dodgers and people up in arms. I did enjoy. I'm not gonna lie. I didn't consume too much social media, but I was on there and the people that were outraged by that, and just the
Dodgers in general. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it like somehow that's a bad thing that the Dodgers spent a sack load of money to get good players, like they should be shamed for doing that. And I don't get that. Logic.
Sports radio in the Bay Area I heard that it was a shit show on Friday morning and all day Friday with all the San Francisco Giants fans whining.
Yeah, I've seen Yankee fans posting videos and Yankee fans Danny the personification, the epitome of deep pocket baseball. The New York Yankees and some of their fans are furious right that the Dodgers now sit in the lap of luxury and all that. But anyway, I just got to kick out of this. I wanted to mention that at
the start. But on this the Saturday Pod, we've got the poster boy Bennie's Big Board, Ho Ho Hospital, and we'll have some other fun I'm sure Danny some things you want to toss into the to the stew here. And by the way, since this is a holiday weekend, the powers that be have informed us this podcast because it is Christmas weekend, a two for one bonus pod. We are going to jam into this podcast two podcasts for the price of one. You can't do that. You can't.
That's wicked good is what that is? Right, I mean, that's amazing.
Nuts, that's a bargain.
Normally you only have to pay US five ninety nine to subscribe to this show. This is free this weekend, and it's two shows inside one day.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a two for one special. Buy one, get one free, and that's what we have going for it. And you're very lucky that you've stumbled.
Perfect timing because I'm going to be at Disneyland tomorrow.
Okay, well there you go. All right, So we have we have the greatest supporters in all of radio land. Very blessed, the very blessed. I've been doing this a long time, and yeah, the people that listen to the Overnight Show have been so amazing, so wonderful. This week, I was blown away. It takes a lot for me to be blown away. It happens every so often, and usually it happens when you don't expect it happens. So our friend Femi, who I actually met in Minnesota. He
lives in Minnesota. He's the number one Uber East driver in the Twin Cities. He's become a brigadier general in the mal Or Militia. And he dropped what I would call a thunderbolt my direction. Just on a random night. I'm just doing the show, whatever people have sending comments in nothing out of the ordinary, just normal radio night, and then right out of left field, Femi posts the message on social He informs me that I hadn't heard from him in a while. Usually checks in every week
with some content. He informed me that his father had passed away. I was like, well, that's sad, and he said there was an elaborate funeral in his homeland in Nigeria, and he attached a couple of photos. And in these photos you might have seen them if you follow me on social media. If not, they're available. We saw a group of Nigerians holding up a poster that had my ugly mug on it and the Ben mal show name
and the Fox Ports radio logo. As Femi the photo journalist said he had I'd converted some of the locals there in his native Nigeria into the mal Or Militia, and he claimed in Nigerian culture, when someone dies, we have the celebration of life everywhere, but in Nigeria they do like a carnival thing for two days to celebrate, as Femi said, a life well lived. So this just
blew mey. So from La to Nigeria, we do the show in La seven eight hundred and twelve miles to get from where we are to Nigeria in the middle of Africa, and they're promoting the show. Was it was really cool, wild wild wild, So thank you, Femi. I do appreciate that, and in honor of that, I was inspired. Now I don't do list Danny. You know I'm not a list guy, right.
No, not at all. You do big boards, that's right.
So I'm gonna do big board, which is not a list. It's not a checklist. It's not a watch list. It's not a hot list, it's not a short list. It is none of those things. Wrong. It is a big board, which is much different. And oftentimes people are confused by big board. So don't be confused, right at all. It's like the stock market. It's the Dow Jones, it's the New York Stock Exchange, which is not a big board. It's not.
It's just like how the mail bag is not anything like ask Ben.
Exactly exactly. See, you get it right. The mail bag. People confuse that all the time because people are stupid. It's nothing like the mail bag. The mail bag and Aspen, they're not They're not the same. So on Big Ben's Big board, this is the first time I've ever done this, the ten most memorable things at this time that a p One has done as a super fan of the Ben Malor Show over the years. And I guarantee you I'm forgetting a bunch of stuff that's really good, stuff
that happened and it just slipped through my memory. So I would like if Anthony and Anaheim here's this, or Alf the Alien opineer, any of the guys that have been with the show for a long time that have listened chipping the cues, who's been with me since the early days, if you can refresh my memory on some of the stuff I forgot. So with that as the backdrop, immediately admitting this is probably a terrible list, which is
not a list, it's a big board. So these are the ten most memorable things that p ones have done as super fans of the Ben Mahler Show at my time at Fox Sports Radio. In no particular order. I'm not putting these because that would make it a list, dandy. If I put them in a certain order, that would be a list. But there are ten things in no particular order that we can move around. We can put one here and move one down and all that. I'm fine with that. But the first one I want to
bring up is Doc Mike. Now, Doc has done a couple of anythings with me over the years. The two things that Doc Mike has done that I want to mention for the Big Board. Uh. One of my favorite memories of Doc is when Michael Vick was in prison in Levenworth in Kansas and Doc Mike so delusional that he was convinced that Michael Vick wanted to talk to him and that he just had to travel to Levenworth
prison to meet with Michael Vick. So Doc got in his car from Chicago, drove to Levenworth, Kansas, and every day for a week he would go into Levenworth and try to meet with Michael Vick, and the wardens would be, well, you're not on the list. He doesn't you know, he doesn't know you can't come in. And Doc would call me from leven outside Levenworth. He's like, I'm here, I'm here. I'm waiting for them to open up. You know, it's a few hours away. They're gonna open up. And it was.
It was ridiculous. And then the other one, which is doctored this several years. The most famous one was he'd go to Wrigley Field every year and drop a goat head off the Curse of the Billy Goat, and the Cubs obviously won the World Series since this happened. But this is a long time ago, and so he do this every year. One year before a Cub Giant game, he drops off the goat head. Now the game ends
up getting rained out. And since the Cub game got rained out at Wrigley Opening Day, the sports writers had nothing to write, so instead they wrote about this goatthead. I'm going to decapitate a goat, bloody goatthead that had been dropped off by a lunatic fan, and I will never forget. The then mayor of Chicago, rom Emmanuel was his name at the time, and he held a news conference announcing that no resource would not be used to find out who put the goat head at Wrigley Field.
He said the Chicago police were going to investigate this. They we're gonna get to the bottom of it, and we doc Mike like he laid out the whole blueprint on the air of what he was doing. It was, and then the mayor of Chicagoo, We're gonna get to the bottom of this. I think, well, I think we know who did it. I think we know who did it. Another name that popped up on my big board here David from winter Park, Florida, along with Roscoe the Parrot.
So David went above and beyond the call of duty here. He drove from winter Park, Florida, which is I'm told I've never been to winter Park, Florida, but I've told it's kind of not far from Orlando. And he drove up I ninety five to Boston with Roscoe the parrot, a giant stuffed animal, Roscoe the Parrot and met me at the Cask and Flagon in Boston for the Malor Meet and greed and that that was just nuts it and that was only I was for like a couple hour.
He's meet and greets are a couple hours and he drove all the way from Florida to hang out for a couple hours at a random bar in Boston. So that was that was pretty cool. And then at that same event, Wayne from Southey is also on Big Ben's Big Board the ten most memorable things that Pee Ones have done as super fans in the show. Because Wayne from Southee, this is a guy. I did it for Mallor.
I did it for Malor and he claimed he had been sober for a number of years and he kept buying me alcohol and buying people shots in the bar and he wanted everyone to toast me. And so he and I've been sober, you know, we have the drop. And then I forget what exactly what he said, but I did it for Mallor and that was hilarious. What a great character Wayne from Southee is. And he didn't call the show much anymore, but he was just wonderful. We love Wayne. It was great. Now, also on the
Big Board, we have Ed in Spokane. Now. Ed actually makes a couple appearances on Big Ben's Big Board. This one was from the Malor Man March in twenty nineteen. Wandering the streets of Seattle. Me and Ed and Jay Scoop was there, and Robbie the Mariner fan, and we had several other superstar listeners of the show from the Pacific Northwest that had united for the malor Man March from a certain point in downtown Seattle to the Seahawks Stadium.
They're playing the forty nine ers. It was like the last week of the season the winner got in the playoffs, and so it was a big deal, and of course such a big deal they wouldn't let me in the stadium. But nonetheless, nonetheless we marched, and Wayne had his or not Wayne ed ed excuse me, Ed had his bullhorn and was doing chance and homeless people were yelling at him to shut up. They homeless in Seattle because he was so annoying. Ben Mahler Show. Listen to the Ben
Mahler Show. Also, as we continue Big Benny's Big Board, here the ten most memorable things that pe Ones have done as super fans of the show over the years. And please add to this if I'm forgetting something, how about Pete and Pittsburgh when the company laid me off in August of actually was January's January of nine, January
twentieth o nine, I got laid off. I was rehired in August, six months and twenty six days later, but heat in Pittsburgh called into the King of All Media, Howard Stearn's radio show, to say how upset he was that I had been laid off. And so Howard talked about my situation with Pete and Pittsburgh and not just mine, but so many people, good hardworking radio people that were
whacked on that faithful day. And it was really funny because I had a bunch of relatives that aren't sports fans that were Stern fans, and I had people reaching out to me. Did you see your name was mentioned? Do you hear your name was mentioned on the Stern Show? And so I want to thank Pete for that.
That's cool. I never heard that story.
Yeah, that was really it was really wild. And I actually have the audio of somebody sent me a copy of it. I haven't in my inbox. But that was that was cool. Now, to be fair, I mean I've ripped Howard. I think Howard lost his fastball, but only recently within the last like five seven years. This was this goes back about fifteen years now. Number number five, but again no particular order, But this is the fifth name we'll put on the list, which is not a list,
it's Benny's big board. So number five random Cleveland fan. Now I don't have the name of this person. I don't know whether they're actually a fan or not. But what they did was what a p one would do. So we'll go back to the year twenty sixteen. I believe it was the Cleveland Cadavers had beaten the Golden State, or as they'd come back to beat Golden State. This was the series. Raymond Green played the Nutcracker and got suspended, and that turned the series around, allowed Cleveland to get
back in the series so that they win. The Cavaliers win the championship, and I'm whatever, I'm moving on with my life. They have a massive parade, massive rally in downtown Cleveland, and that evening I'm getting people sending me photos that were taken by newspapers and news websites from the parade, and a random person I don't know who
this is. I've never seen this person before or after this incident, was walking around the parade with a giant poster board and on the poster board were the photos of Skip Bayless steven A Smith, Yours truly and a couple of the random people, and they had listed all of us as Lebron Halves, haters, trash who were picking against the Calves and said they weren't going to win the big championship. And so it was hilarious because I'm like right next to stephen A and Skip Bayless, which
is our accountants. Actually, Danny say the same, You're right in the same tax bracket as stephen A and Skip Baalis. But it was a great photo and I actually have it up in my studio where I do a lot of the work from here because it's it's like a million people behind this guy. He's holding up a poster with all of our photos on it. It was just it was priceless. So it was just absolutely precious. Also,
Femi's obviously on the list. We already mentioned Femi the Nigerian funeral for his father, the Malor poster, which was great. I've got a few more on Benny's big board. How about Fats from Philadelphia lighting himself on fire during the COVID NFL draft of twenty twenty and screaming my name that was that was amazing. He lit his chest on fire.
He also later on he did the doc mic thing, drank some of the yellow juice, and he did it right from the tap Danny, Oh yeah, well yeah, And he ended up showing all of the internet little fats which we didn't need to see. But the fats is an all time great typical Philadelphia hardcore Eagles Neanderthal fan. Also and in Spokane is on here again on Big Ben's big board. This is arguably the funniest thing and some would say the most controversial thing that anyone's done
for the show. This goes back again to the pandemic in twenty twenty when the world was shut down and all that they were protesters, the James Floyd situation and all that that was going on as a wild time, and there was a Black Lives Matter ralegh is all over the place and edin' Spokane, Washington showed up to a Black Lives Matter rally protest in somewhere. I don't think it was in Spokane, but somewhere, you know, in Washington.
He shows up at the rally. People are all upset and they're complaining and protesting and the whole thing, and he's got a megaphone, listen to the Ben Mahler Show. You know he's.
Oh man.
The thing about Ed is he has no filter. Like a lot of people would be like, I can't do that. I'd be so embarrassed, you know, I don't want to do that. But edin' Spokane is like, no, screw it, I don't care. He's got no shame in his game. And it's just the video of him screaming to listen to the Ben Mahler Show overnights you know, and see you in Seattle, Washington, whatever, and the looks on the face of the people there that are protesting is what are you doing?
It was.
It was absolutely priceless, and I would be remiss if you do it. Benny's big board and not mentioning the greatest advertising anyone could ask for from a listener. Moving Man Matt from Boston with his mobile Mallard billboard. Yeah that he's got two trucks, moving trucks. He goes from coast to coast moving thousands of pounds of product, and he has the very bottom on each side of his truck promotion of the Ben Maler Show, and so that
that's just amazing. So thank you Moving Man Matt. I'm sure I'm missing a bunch.
I got a couple really quick. What do you okay? How about the cake benefactor?
Oh yeah, we were getting cake every other week. And not just cake Dandy. These were designer cakes. These were luxury cakes every single week. These were pieces of art that we were getting. I want a camel.
It was so amazing.
And then also I got to add to that list Rod and Bakersfield. He brought steak to the studio and he also had us out for a steak dinner when we were at the baseball game there.
Oh that's right, Yeah, we're in Bakersfield. Closed the whole team down. Yes, the Bakersfield Blaze. They were a blaze, Yeah, exactly. Mallard burned it down. Yeah, we were. The curse of the Ben Bino was in effect there. Yeah, that was very kind of rot.
And there's been a few listeners Ben that treated us to fat sALS. I'm thinking of Big Lou who treated us a few times, and a couple others. Thank you when I was on your live show. Thank you for the extra ten twelve pounds I gained while I was there. I'm working so hard even now to get rid of that weight.
No, absolutely, and everyone's been been amazing and people have been so kind. I know, when the pandemic was going on, people were just like sending us random stuff in the mail, like just you mean so much, just like so important. Here's here's a hat, here's a shirt.
From mugs to stickers to that woman that sent us the Boston hot Dogs.
Oh that's yes, I completely that's a that's another one. I I had a guy in Boston who was a big fan, and I love the Finway Monster Dog, which is, to me, the greatest ballpark hot dog I've ever had, and you can buy them in the grocery stores around Boston. I don't live in Boston, and so this guy every year would overnight a giant and I say giant. This thing was massive. There were probably fifty hot dogs or more in this thing, and he just overnighted and there
you go. We had Finway Monster Dogs, Finway Franks and I would grill those things up during the summer and it was just awesome. So a wonderful gesture for sure, And thanks to everyone else, and really really really cool, really really really cool. I know there were some other stuff, Danny Ray, you had some things on your mind. You wanted to share with the class this week and things that have happened as we wind down heading in this is a two for one special this holiday weekend.
Yeah, I wanted to ask you a fun question that we covered on Old School and fifty Hits.
This past Thursday.
On Covino and Rich it was National ba Humbug Day and the question was what's one thing that everybody else loves but you hate. We got some great calls, really good stories from the guys dumb for my answer, but they laughed because I said soup. Not a fan of soup, No, because my mom used to serve tomato soup and I'd say, what's for dinner and she'd say the soup that's on the table, and I'm like, that's not dinner.
Yeah, Soup's not dinner. It's an appetizer.
Yeah, I agree with you, unless it's a hearty like a thick chicken soup with lots of chicken. But for the most part, ninety eight percent of soup is not It's just it doesn't fill you up.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then after if you can think of one, well, I tell you this lady called in Amber from Dallas. She called in and she ranted in a fun way, but she ranted on what she called Disneyland adults.
Disney adults people.
Who are grown but still act like little kids when they get to go to Disneyland and they wear the ears and they go maybe without kids. She was trying to make the point that only kids belong at that park.
Yeah, yeah, she hates it. Everyone else loves it. She hates it.
Yeah, she's a Debbie Downer. I'm famous for I can't say I hate this because I've never had it, but coffee. So many people love coffee. I've never had a cup of coffee. And like everywhere I go, Tom Looney know, I do the TV show with Benny versus the Penny. He's always trying to every week. You just have some coffee. You know, you should really drink some coffee. Like it's like this peer pressure my wife, you drink some CoFe should really have some coffee. You know your life would
be better with coffee. I'm like, no, I don't need the coffee.
You just hate hearing people talk about it.
The other one, much like you with your mom and the soup. My mom loved turkey, bless her soul, So anytime anything big happened in the family birthday holiday, she would run to make a turkey. I ate so much turkey that I don't like turkey anymore. I hate it.
We had a caller who called up and said his uncle bought big tubs of peanut butter, and for months and months and months they lived off that peanut butter. And to this day he can no longer eat peanut butter. Whatso whoever, that reminds me of that. And I'll say for my mom, besides that tomato soup, she used to serve us baloney sandwiches all the time. It got to the point where I asked her, I said, is there
anything else we could put in the bread? If I even smelled bloni right now, I would probably vomit.
Yeah. For me, the sandwich was tunafish. My mom loved to give me a tuna fish sandwich because she read in some magazine that was healthy for you. Of course, it probably had so much mercury at that time when I was a kid.
I don't know that mercury and mayonnaise.
Yeah, exactly. It was covered in mayonnaise. But the problem was she would put an ice pack in there. But I'd go to school at seven thirty in the morning, you know, started at eight, and it was hot in a late you know, early in the year be hot, and the ice pack would wear off by the time I got the lunch. It was a warm tuna fish sandwich. Gross, not really to my taste, buds, I did not really enjoy a warm tuna fish sandwich. So that's the only fish. That's why the last fish I ate. This next tale
is very relatable. Now. Recently I made my annual trip to the North Pole. What a perfect time this holiday weekend here the day before, the day before that matters, so our tradition of taking Rudolph the rent Nose reindeer to Santa's workshop yours truly, wearing a Santa suit, as I portrayed the legendary character Santa Claus Chris Kringle each year give back to the community. The wife is a public servant as a nine to one to one operator
in the town she works in. I get to play Santa Claus and I get strapped to the back of a fire truck. In fact, I'll put some photos online later today so you can see see what I've got going on. But we ride around the town my wife works in with a police escort, and I wave at men, women and children as I spread holiday joy and fun fact about Santa Claus. Now, according to the Internet, this must be true because I read it on the Internet,
and the Internet's never wrong. The modern American version of the suit is attributed to a guy named Thomas Nast who was working for Harper's Weekly magazine, and it's often confused with Coca Cola. Now Coca Cola. This guy, Hayden's sun Bloom is the guy's name. He standardized what the image of Santa looks like, and because of Coca Cola, they had the red suit and the white for trim,
which is what we associate with ever since then. But this goes back way back to the eighteen hundreds, and the image that was drawn by this guy, Thomas Nast, is what is Santa Claus. He took and combined created the modern version of Santa Claus, which was based on a couple of German figures Saint Nicholas, and we Hashtisman
probably butchered that not great with Germany racist. But this guy Nast, who's been dead for over one hundred years, I believe now, But what a contribution to still modern society because he created what is the image of Santa Claus as people know it in the Western world. But also he created the elephant, which is the symbol for the Republican Party. That you know, that drawing of the elephant. Yeah, that was his, that was his, that he came up
with it. And they still the Republican car the Republican Party still uses that as there they're met all these years later, and he's he's been called the father of American cartoon, the father of the American cartoons. So anyway, I get back to the point. Please all right, So I'm sorry, but I just got cured. But back to my day of Santa Claus. So I had a blast. People genuinely enjoyed the night. That's the vibe I got.
A lot of kiddos were smiling. I know things were going well because I saw a lot of statue of liberties. You know what the statue of liberty is, Daniel, When you're at an event and everyone's holding up their arm and yeah, photos like they're this, you know, holding up the torch, this Lady Liberty and so that was kind of cool. People wanted to record it.
Now did you get to throw candy?
I did not, but people, some of the people, some of the jokesters were actually throwing like like they were fake snowballs. They were like little like cloth snowballs, and so they would throw them at me, and every once in a while I would catch one and throw it back at him, and they were howling like when I threw it back, like, well, Santa Claus is throwing a snowball back at us. That's the funniest thing in the world. So this lasted like three I was we went up
in the mountains. It was a mountain community, went up in the mountains. It was very cold, probably in the high thirties when we went up to the mountains there, and I'm just wearing a Santa suit doing my thing, and everything's great. The hardest part of that, you know what, the hardest part of the day was, Danny, I'm gonna take a guess.
When you had a urinate.
No, I didn't drink water all day because I didn't want to have to urinate and get out of the Santa suit. So that was not the problem. The hardest part was getting off the fire truck. And this is a dicey situation. So in my haste needed a crane. Well, in my haste, daddy. It was hard enough to get on the fire truck, the very top of the fire truck, but then to get off the fire truck. Now, as you know, I'm a gymnast and I am, like I
do yoga, I'm very flexible. Wrong again, And as I was crawling on the roof of the fire truck to reach over the side to try to put my massive feet on the steps to get off said fire truck. I get down off the truck, and it was like that classic episode of the old comedy The Honeymooners. Oh my aching back. I had lower back pain for most of the last week, and I'm like walking around like an old guy. I could not even like bend over. It was like I couldn't sleep on my side. I
had to sleep. It's where you have to sleep on your back when you hurt your back, you have to kind of lay flat. And took most of the week before my back kind of snapped back in place. But it was like, I mean, I'm at the age now we're even getting off a freaking fire truck. I might end up damaging myself. So it was it was whole, whole, whole hospital. But unfortunately did not have to go to
the hospital. I probably should have had it checked out, but I knew I had just twisted a muscle at my lower back, and I was like, yeah, you know, be fine. And plus I couldn't really complain about it. I didn't mention it on the radio because I have pointed out, and this is hand to god, a true story when I covered the NBA back in the nineties, and this was like a running joke among the coaches and whatnot.
Oh yeah, the famous back injury.
Yeah, when like a player went out and had a little too much fun with the ladies and the boothe both and they wanted to miss a game, they'd come up with a lower back injury. Because at that time, and I still think this is the case, there's no there's no test, there's no real treatment that you can do. It's just, you know, it's when it feels better, you're able to play and all that stuff. And so it's a phantom injury exactly. So I can't say, well, I had a lower back injury. I couldn't miss work. I
have a lower back injury. So because everyone knows that's a bogus injury. But I had it and it hurt like a mofo. I was like, damn, I know you've had some backstuff, Danny, right, you've had some issues from now now and again right to pop up.
In fact, what was it?
It was Thursday afternoon that Covino was complaining about a back injury he has. He did it at the gym, and then he re injured it by getting into his car really quick because of the downpour. He like contorted his body in a weird way to get into the car extra fast because of the rain, and so he retweaked it. He was groaning in pain. Rich called him a pussy on the air and he stopped complaining. But I busted out one of those Shaquille O'Neal sticks that numb the lower back.
The roller Oh those.
Yeah, yeah, man, I have that in my backpack because from time to time my lower back barks to the point where I got to roll that bad boy on there and just numb it.
Ruh. Yeah, It's like, yeah, come on, Like I don't feel that old, but stuff like that happens. I'm like, I can't even get off a fire truck, like I used to jump off those things. It was no problem. But then I was like, I gotta I gotta have like an army of people around me to make sure I go slowly and not jump off the truck. And what a pain in Okas, we do have a Backscratcher this week, and we'll just get to that real quickly.
This is on the Apple podcast page. Follow the podcast and then you can really help us out if you post a review. It's in the description. Danny, make sure to put it in there. Every episode we had one from I don't think this is the real name, Kwang from Vietnam. Now maybe we have a listener in Vietnam. It's possible.
Probably not one of your brother's friends that he's going to visit.
That's right, yeah, he says. Headline fight Club. On the Backscratcher review, he says, these guys never even ask for reviews, which is nice, So I figured i'd review out of the kindness of my heart. Five stars.
The review. Nice. See that's what we're saying. It's fight club. You don't mention it in you go the other direction like that.
Yeah. See, this is what we were hoping for. Unlike the Donkey last week, I think it was who was Well, these guys have been really nice of management. Didn't that force them to ask for people to post the you know things on the backscratcher They're like, oh.
Man, yeah, man, play it off. Be cool, all right.
I know we're not doing foody fun. I did have some foody fun, so I just wanted to mention the big story in food and we're not gonna have time to get to the meat of this. But Costco did you see the news? Did this come up on Covino and Rich They are discontinuing one of their popular items in the food court. It's going away in twenty twenty four. Costco,
did you see us? They're eliminating the Truro. They're getting rid of the turo what and in the place of the turo they will put in a jumbo sized chocolate chip cookie, so churros out, chalk flit chip cookie in and as an added bonus, we are told that Costco is going to add in the summer of twenty twenty four, corner to internet speculation, chocolate ice cream to the food court. They added strawberry I Scream, which was a I didn't
think that would be good, but I love it. I get to bury Sunday with the strawberry ice cream at the food court. Yeah, oh man, it's a nice upgrade.
On this podcast, we've mentioned the old school McDonald's burning hot apple pies. Yes, yes, I didn't get to test it because I'm on a no sugar kick right now. Do you ever go to Panda Express.
Every once in a while. Yeah, I will go there, and maybe I'll even go there on Christmas because I used to always go there with my dad. We'd have Christmas eat Chinese food like all yeah.
Nice, okay, next time you go in there, and for our audience, next time you walk in, get dessert. Because they are now offering hot apple pies. The picture at least looked like the old school McDonald's.
Is that right, that's cool. Yeah, no, the McDonald's. We talked about this on the podcast months ago. But there's one McDonald's that serves the original apple pie, and I think I think it's around here.
It's in Downy Downey, California.
Yeah, so you can. We're lucky we live close enough geographically desirable we can get the old apple pie. Also, do you see that Chick fil a? Some Chick fil A locations may soon be open on Sunday. It's this a seven seven year old policy that wow, don't changed.
Why because of politicians in New York and it didn't get a lot of attention, But the New York State Assembly proposed the rest Stop Restaurant Act, which would require food and beverage companies along the New York State Thruway to stay open seven days a week.
Now.
Chick fil A currently operates seven locations on the New York through Way and has three more scheduled to be built. And if this does end up going and continuing through the as a law, they will be forced to have either get rid of their locations on the New York through Away, which apparably they like because they're adding three more, or they're going to have to open on Sunday. Hey you jesus, how pissed would those employees be at Chick fil A? Right? They get Sundays off?
You We're on Sunday and now you go, that's when they should just schedule all the atheists that they have on staff.
Well, yeah, you could do that, and they have one at the Falcon Stadium in Atlanta, right that they But it's not all it's weird. They have one in the steam, but it's not open on Sunday. They play on Sunday.
Yeah, come on.
My wife and I we always crave chicken from their joint, and it's always a Sunday. We're always like, why do we want to go there on Sunday? We know they're not open, but it's happened a few times. We're like, man, I want Chick fil A today. Oh crap, it's Sunday.
Yeah.
No, it always seems to happen.
Well, that's one of the reasons that they put and this is brilliant by our friends at Raising Canes. They often will put a Raising Canes right across the street from a Chick fil A, because James knows at least one day a week they will own the chicken market. They also know that Chick fil A often has a line of cars, and sometimes people will go and see the line of cars and the drive through at Chick fil A, and they'll say, I'm not going to wait and line, I'm going to go over to Raising Canes.
Maybe I can get in there quicker and get my chicken bock box chicken just like that.
And so that wasn't a drop.
No, that was a drop. I wouldn't. I'm a professional broadcast. I would never say that. What else I saw that? If you have if you have a daughter, or you're just a you know, you're a woman or a dude that loves Hello Kitty, I don't know. Hey, who knows? They not Goldfish? They will have limited edition Hello Kitty Strawberry shortcake flavored edition of the Goldfish Crackers in twenty twenty four.
Oh wow, you just made some cookies shaped like that.
I did know. Chocolates. I've made some chocolates from my knee chocolate. In fact, I'm gonna make more because she's gonna come over on my my nieces and cousins, little girls are gonna come over, So I'm gonna make them Hello Kitty chocolates and some other random crap that I will I will make this weekend. I am such a
radio loser. I don't give away brief mail bag because this is the two for one special and we'll get out of that, right But ohio Al, come on, man, it's bag all right, thank you very much, ohio Al. These are actual letters by actual listeners to the mail bag. We're not going to get to everyone that sent their letter in. Unfortunately, but we do thank you, and just send one in for next week and hopefully we'll be
able to get your message on the air. But you can email me right now, don't have to wait real fifth hour at gmail dot com, Real fifth hour at gmail dot com, and you can do that or wait for me to post on Facebook. But let's get right to the bag. What's in the bag? First one from Alf the cybersecurity department of FSR. He's excited there that he saw construction of aforementioned raising canes in Connecticut. He said. Also, Ben, as I was consuming last week's collection of podcast, something
particularly caused my ears to perk up. It has been brought to my attention that my TikTok account may have been compromised. During the footy fund portion of the podcast, you mentioned stories and videos that I had bookmarked only days earlier that I was planning on sending you and Daddy G. So it is evident to me that someone on your social media staff either hacked my account or you as a closet TikTok aficionato. The latter is obviously not true, because we're where would you find the time
to do such research for the pod. That's what you pay an army of underlings for, absolutely alf you get it, don't you get it? Pal? That'd be like saying that you spend hours on end preparing for the overnight show and your producer has very little to do with the show outside screening a few calls here and there. I hope I can count on you to do the right thing and reprimand the guilty and maintain the honorable ben Malor brand Well. I will do that. Alf heads are
going to roll. He also included a link to the former McDonald's chef that we referenced on a previous pod, and his tip to acquiring the pickles that taste almost identical to the ones at McDonald's, which I'm good what I do. I don't know about you, Danny. When I get the hamburger, the cheeseburger, I take the pickles off. I don't like the pickles.
I don't like the pickles when they're warm.
Yeah, alps kick his fetish as the pickle. He loves the pickle. Next up, Daniel in Fort Wayne, Indiana says, Hey, guys, have you considered coming to Fort Wayne to take in a comet that's a hockey minor league hockey team or a ten Caps during baseball season. Danny, I'm sure you and the wife and CoA and the family there would love to go to Fort Wayne, right, that's on your bucket list to visit for a vacation.
It's on my top ten board, which is not a list.
Not a list, it's a big board because you don't do lists because you don't be irrelevant if you do a list. Yeah, Daniel is part of the Chamber of Comers. He's just started calling the show recently. I liked Dane. He's a character. I can tell this guy's got the ability to rise the ranks. He's an up and comer in the mal and militia, and he loves Fort Wayne. He can't get enough of Fort Wayne. And he promotes Fort Wayne. He wants people to come to Fort Wayne.
He loves his town. And it's just it's a music. I wouldn't mind going to a baseball game. We have not thrown out the first pitch at a baseball game in a while, so it'd be a lot of fun to go to a Tin Caps game and throw out the first pitch. And I haven't been to a minor league hockey game in a while either, So thank you, Daniel,
And again Danny's us it's high in his vacations. It's either that of the Bahamas and you know oftentimes they'll go Fort Wayne George and Uvaldi says, guys, which movie do you prefer this time of the year, Scrooged with Bill Murray or National Lampoons Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase. So this is tough because Bill Murray is a legend. We love Bill Murray, but I'm going with chevy Chase
on this one. I've watched that National Lampoons Christmas Vacation where he cuts down the tree in the middle of the forest and the whole thing. I watched that more than probably any other Christmas movie, So that gets my vote.
What about you, Dany.
Chevy Chase sledding out of control into the Walmart parking lot is an all time favorite scene. I gotta go that route. And then the other movie I would throw in there Home Alone. It's something I love and everybody in the family loves it. So that's a movie that's going to be on this weekend.
Yeah, that gets play a lot. My wife loves the Will ferrell One as the Elf.
Oh yeah, we watched Elf last weekend.
Fan of that last one. We'll get out on this as this two for one pod. And this is from the Queen of the Mahlard Militia, Queen Roxanne and Colorado says. She says, Ben, could you please give us an update on the Malard Militia pe Ones, As you know, I now work days and don't always get to hear the whole show later. And she also wants to hear the nicknames, which you know, that's people what the people want, Danny, I, as you know.
How about you give us an early Christmas gift and you don't give the nickname list.
Well, listen, Danny. I was raised properly by my parents. They taught me to not to not disappoint the listener. And they say the most important thing, the customer is always right.
This is usually where I mutter under my breath, Jesus. In this case, Jesus would not want you to do this to us.
It's the holiday season, day season of giving, it's the season of making people happy. So I cannot. Queen Roxanne's a beautiful woman. I cannot be rude to her and just get it over with. I am known as the spinmaster of misinformation, the bannering broadcaster. I've been called the Beethoven of bs, Curmudgeon of commentary, Chasm of sarcasm, the Czar of zany, the dark night of weak night sports radio, the mogul of mischief, Benny, the brazen king of zing
Moneyball Mallard, Benny not even halfway but sheeeshaus Fox. I've been called the Sultan of insulting who, the Shaman of shodenfreude, dumping Jack of wisecrack, in sight of overnight medicine Man Mallard.
This isn't not the number one station anymore?
Is it?
Neighbour of negativity, the Sage of outrage, Pinnacle of cynegal princip preposterous professor of propaganda, the Hizar Hyperbolee, and the floating turd of the spoken word, and the mad hatter of sports chatter. How about shut up and Danny? That's only half of my nicknames? Can you believe that that's only half? And Queen Roxanne wants all my nicknames, Danny. She wants all this. She don't want half. She's a
you know, she's a grown woman. She wants all the nicknames, so I've also been called the Baron of Balddog.
Don't do this, know it.
I got to holidays.
My gift, Ben Socks.
Big gall Bladder, Benish the Menace, Captain nee Jerk, the Duke of the north Woods, General of Degenerates, Tycoon of Tease, Master of Disaster, the Hustler of Philibuster, night Light of Nightlife, Okay hell Bill Miller, Holler of Producers, Benny Brightside, Manatee of Insanity, Mark Cony, Maller, Moneyline Mallard, Emissary of embellishment, week Night wind Bag. I think that one made the
TV show this week. Wizard of Wacky, Slayer of Naysayers, Grand Goober of gabb the Oligarch of Dark Tower of babbel On Honest, the Donnis, Nocturnal Colonel, the Underdog of Monologue, and the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope. Never heard of them, Danny, Those are all my knee.
Look at the time. Oh my god, I gotta start packing for Disneyland, and.
With that we say bye bye. Enjoy the holidays. I will be taking a couple of days and the man cave there by request, Danny, I actually tried to work management at Fox. Our great boss, Scott Schapiro's like, you really should take some you know, you need to take a break. You got to recharge your batteries and all that. So, but I am going to work a few days this week.
I will not be on the next couple of nights that in fact, nobody will be on on Christmas Eve tomorrow because we have best of kind of year in review that we put together and it's it's our show and a bunch of other shows we each do one hour.
I spent a whole week putting the Cavino and Rich hour together.
Yeah, so we look back at some of the funny moments that happened on the show if you might have missed it, and we replay some of the great things that happen. It's a really fun idea that we've done for years. And you can hear a little bit from every show and you can sample our show and the cool thing. Some people complain Danny say, well, what only just play your episode over and over again. It was like, well, no,
we want to expose you to other people. And our episode gets played in other times, and so people for our show at times that we're not on, and so it's great for everyone.
Cross contamination.
Yes, we can taminate your mind with other shows, and so it's it's a really great idea, and I'm glad that we're included because we get to play be played in the daytime a little bit and at night and so it's good and in rotation and all that. But to be safe, Danny, assume you're taking a little break too. Are you taking a whole time here this week?
Yeah, So we're going to be at the park tomorrow in Anaheim, and then Covino and Rich we'll be back, but not on the afternoon show. We'll be back next Wednesday for Dan Patrick and we're doing the hat trick Wednesday Thursday Friday morning.
All right, very cool. And I will be in a couple of nights. I'm off Christmas even to Christmas Day and Christmas Night into the following day. But then I'll be in two nights. I'll have the TV show. That's part of the reason I'm not taking the whole week off. So I will have the TV show next weekend, and I'll do a couple of nights of radio and we'll have the pod next weekend and all that. So that
is the schedule. But be safe. Hopefully you spend some time with family and friends and if not, if we're If we're your friends and family, Happy holidays, Merry Christmas to you. Love good hoes here for you, and we love you.
And go back and catch up on all the Fifth Hour podcasts. Now you got some free time to go back and listen to everything.
Yeah, we've got a big archive of work. You don't just have to download the one where I poop my pants. There's other episodes that you can download. We'll get out. Have you a wonderful rest of your weekend in the next couple of days, here and be safe and Merry Christmas, Happy holidays, and we'll catch you when we catch you.
Ho ho ho hohe me austa pasta got a murder.
I gotta go.